Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted October 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2013 God, help us see past the horizon.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2013 The first photo is John David, me, and Jesse at a family reunion (that is why we have name tags) in 2008.....the second photo is Thanksgiving 1996...in Slidell....my Mom passed in Sept. 16 of '95.....my Dad passed 8 mos. later...June 13, 1996....John David was in the Navy, stationed at Whidby Island....he took off 3 weeks to stay with me at their house to help me get it sorted and take care of paper work...he even took leave with no pay....then....he came home that Thanksgiving...his CO gave him extra leave..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2013 Laurie....there will be many sending prayers to sustain you....I think many will be wishing the same thing I am....wishing we could hold your hand....and walk and talk with you.....so....we will be holding you and yours in our hearts....this is a hard part of the journey...let us hear...and know we care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guest Posted October 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2013 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted October 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2013 Thanks for all those who said they are thinking of me...I am very grateful for everyone's thoughts and support...Here is a picture of Jesse at graduation: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lovU2themoon Posted October 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2013 I love the pictures of our kids.Lora, what a beautiful picture of you and CaraBecky, that car is beautiful, what a tribute.Laurie, thinking of you as the 10th approaches, Jesse looks so handsome,today is 2 months since lane died, i really feel no different then yesterday or 3 weeks ago, shock sadness overwhelming grief.Continuing to navigate day to day, hoping for some relief from the pain in my chest and the crazy sadness and tears.Shannon, good for you decorating Trista spot for halloween, think i am just gonna skip it all this year, although Canadian thanksgiving is this weekend, we are going to have turkey, get together with the family ect, but have decided there is not much to be thankful forI miss Lane so much... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted October 9, 2013 Guests Report Share Posted October 9, 2013 Lora, Beautiful pictures of Cara. Thanks for you words of support. It's so hard. Everything is bittersweet, mostly bitter right now but even the sweet moments are tinged with the reminder that my Girl is not here and that is so hard. I miss her so very much. Susan, Thank you for posting that song. Thanks for sharing your pictures. You have such a beautiful family. Your words are so comforting. Trista's friend, who was driving that day, is doing as well as can be expected I guess. It's hard because I am not supposed to talk with her about certain things because of the ongoing legal proceedings. I do speak with her occasionally and I show support to things she shares of facebook. I've given her access to Trista's website to share on there. I've been kind to her and she's been here a couple of times. It's just so hard with all the legal issues. Some of the Girls still have a very hard time with her and having anger towards her. I tell that anger is part of grief but they really need think about how they would feel and treat Tris if she had been driving that day instead of the other Girl. Dee, Yes, Trista's smile really broadened after those braces came off. She stopped hiding from the camera. It was nice of Abby to come help decorate Trista's site. I love her, dearly. Tris was very choosy about who she let in to her world and she chose Abby for a reason. She has a sweet heart. She misses Trista so much. Wanda, I don't blame you at all if you decide to just skip Halloween this year. I honestly would do the same but with my Boys it's just not an option. I decided if I was going to acknowledge the holiday with the Boys then we were also going to honor Trista. It would not feel right at all otherwise. For the first three months nothing changed for me at all. It was the heavy fog of shock and intense pain day in and day out. Around three months the fog lifted a bit. It's so hard. I'm not much ahead of you on the time line so I don't have much to offer other than to say I understand. Laurie, That is such a good picture of Jesse at 18. I continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers and I echo what Susan said. I wish I had her way with words. Becky, I was able to see the pictures of the restoration. What an undertaking and what a beautiful tribute to Jared. I love the picture of him behind the wheel. I'm sure he is smiling at all the ways you and your family honor him. Wade, I love Brooks family pic. I love to see the smiles. Thank you for sharing that poem. I'm still sending prayers for you and your family. This is such a hard journey and one none of us ever wanted to take but I'm so glad we've all found this "place" to come together and support each other. Sandy, I'm so glad your daughter is opening to you. I hope things continue to get better for the relationship.Gretchen, Good to see you even if you can only drop by for now. Good luck with the computer. Shannon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted October 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2013 Wanda,Same thing here. Brooks has been gone one month today. Stayed home from school, because I just couldn't sleep last night. Good...bad...good...bad. I, too, am not sure what I'm going to do for Halloween. I wanted to actually give out candy at Brooks' site for any of his friends who "trick or treat," but not sure if that's a good idea.Almost all the candy is gone from Brooks' candy bouquet I placed at his site so that made me feel good. Little things that make me smile are so precious right now. Like when I went to get the sub ready for school today, one of my students asked why I wasn't going to be there. I told her I was just sad and needed a day to regroup, and she put her hand on my shoulder and gave me a little rub and said she understood.I'm saving all of our Angel pictures and will be making a slideshow instead of a collage. If you have favorite music let me know and I will get it in the slideshow. Need more pictures One of my favorite things right now is to come on here and look for the pictures and see good times... Hope it is the same for others. I know it's hard to look at Brooks' photos, because I always choke up at first, but then I get a smile from the memory. I know I mentioned this before, but let me know if you don't want any of your Angels' pictures in the slideshow. I certainly want to respect your privacy.Dreary day in Carson and it's getting colder, but it's nice to change the monotony. Although, and this seems stupid, I get emotional because I don't want Brooks to be cold. I know he's being held in God's arms, and is safe and warm, but it's hard to let go of the earthly thoughts. I find myself visiting him more often, even for a moment, because I don't want him to be alone. He wasn't much of a loner. Always had to be with friends or family. I hope this is just a part of the grieving process...As always I feel much better after visiting all of you. Thank you again and know constantly that you are all in my prayers and thoughts.Pic of Brooks with some of his friends at a water park in Reno this summer.Wade Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted October 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2013 Laurie, thinking of you as the 10th approaches, Jesse looks so handsome,today is 2 months since lane died, i really feel no different then yesterday or 3 weeks ago, shock sadness overwhelming grief.Continuing to navigate day to day, hoping for some relief from the pain in my chest and the crazy sadness and tears.I miss Lane so much...Thanks for your nice reply about Jesse...I too miss him beyond words...I remember what month 2 was like...I think for about the first 4 months I was pretty much immobilized...extreme grief attacks, the pain in my chest so bad that one time I thought I was having a heart attack...I did not leave the house at all at first unless I had no choice...I still do not go out much....I know people handle extreme grief in different ways...there is no wrong or right way to grieve...Shannon had mentioned a book on grieving that I bought on Kindle....here is a section from it on early grief:**********************************************************************At times grief invites us into a terrain that reduces us to our most naked self. We find it hard to meet the day, to accomplish the smallest of tasks, to tolerate the greetings of others. We feel estranged from the world and only marginally able to navigate the necessities of eating, sleeping, and self-care. Some other presence takes over in times of intense grief and we are humbled, brought to our knees where we live close to the ground, the gravity of sorrow felt deep in our bones. The onset of grief following a significant loss initiates a shift in our daily rhythm. We enter into what many cultures refer to as a time of living in the ashes.Among the ancient Scandinavian cultures, for instance, it was a common practice for those dealing with loss to spend their days alongside the fires that were aligned down the center of the longhouse. They would occupy this physical and psychic terrain until they felt they had fully moved through the world where grief had taken them. Ash speaks to what remains, the barest semblance of what once was. James Hillman wrote, “Ash is the ultimate reduction, the bare soul, the last truth, all else dissolved.” The soul in grief feels reduced, brought to the place where all other thoughts or matters dissipate into ash.(Weller, Francis . Entering the Healing Ground: Grief, Ritual and the Soul of the World)**************************************************************************************This "place" has been my healing place...I thank all those who have helped me along the way...Thinking of you today Wanda with your anniversary day here....Also Wade, for the difficult terrain you and your family must travel...Picture taken on what was our last family vacation...Jesse and I went out by ourselves on a special walk that morning...taken in Arizona...Jesse looking over valley by Flagstaff... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2013 1st photo...John David in his Brenham football jersey2nd....Hunter Bear...(GRANDson...a little John David clone)...in his Brenham football jersey...And both # 62.....so hard to go see him play football....with all the memories....but he misses his Uncle John David so much.....and he wouldn't understand if his Nonnie wasn't in the stands... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2013 Wanda....I can so relate with the chest hurting....I realized that the term 'broken heart' was very real....and times I sobbed so hard...I had to be on my knees....for real. I could not stand or sit. I still do that....just not as often.Wade...you have a good 'touch' with yourself....you know when you need to 'stand back'....please know that no one gets an award for being stoic....nor do you get medals for 'SO STRONG'....and the words ...'holding up'....'brave'....'stiff upper lip'.....are only mouthed by those who have not had the experience of 'losing a child'.....I had to rearrange myself....I 'had' to cocoon....I could barely breathe...it was a minute by minute wave that washed over me.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted October 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2013 Hi everyone, have not posted the past couple of days. I am fighting a nasty flu and am determined to kick it by this weekend. (Thanksgiving) Anyway, I am keeping all of you close in my thoughts and saying prayers for each of you as the days continue to fly by. Laurie, holding you up tonight and praying for a peaceful and comforting day tomorrow... as you and you family remember your beautiful son and what a great and terrific young man he was. I hope his spirit with surround your family and fill you with love and strength. Love, Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted October 9, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2013 Wanda, Shannon and Wade, I remember well what those early months felt like. You are still in shock, breathing seems hard, your chest and feet feel like lead weights attached, thoughts are scattered, sometimes can't find the right words when trying to talk, forgetting where you put things, why you walked into a room, the landscape is totally changed, to the point you don't know where you fit into it all anymore. Things that once seemed important, are not anymore. You can't tolerate small talk about nothing... it's irritating, infuriating at times! Sometimes you put on the brave face, talk the informed language, but it is a front, the real you is still very raw and broken. Yes, it is a time to exercise our faith, but it is also a time to scream and LOUDLY grieve. Laurie, Shannon, my heart goes out to you as well, I know the path you walk. Shannon, you tell your kids that they should be glad the driver, Trista's friend, is remorseful and will forever have to live with and deal with what has happened, but you are right, it could just as easily have been the other way around. Much different than the situation I find myself in, with such a heartless, manipulative person that has shown no remorse at all. It should be easier to hate such a person, but I can't do that either, as I know I have to guard my heart that I might see my son again in heaven.Lora, your Cara is so beautiful! She reminds me of Celine, the singer! I am loving all the many pics you all have shared lately. What a good looking group of angels we represent!! Wade, you can use any picture I have posted or in my gallery. Doing pictures and writing poems has been my salvation throughout this now two years. I would do so much work on the case and research, and then have to put that down and turn to writing or creating as a way to touch the beauty of my son's memory. Kate, hope you feel better soon! Dee, loved loved loved the baby pics! She is just perfect!Here is today's rendering.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hopeful40 Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Light in My Life...Difficult at this time, to write much...as the loss of my ONLY daughter, Ayanna, is stillso very fresh and new. The heart is heavy, and the days are ever dark and blue.Tears are ever flowing...but the terrific memories are seemingly going to help methrough this.July 27th of this year, my child was called home to be with God. Quite sudden.She went into cardiac arrest. Four years ago, she was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy. Her discovery of this heart problem didn't stop her from living her life. A beautiful woman with suchan infectious smile. She was my daughter. My friend. My sister. My "Mini Me."The tears are beginning to flow, as I continue to write. I believe I needsome quiet time. I ask that you, the reader, please keep me and thefamily in prayer. And, I shall continue to ask my Almighty for the strengthI will need for each passing day. The pain is deep and never ending. Barbara Ayanna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Barbara,My thoughts and prayers will be with you every day. Your daughter is beautiful and I pray that good memories will console you and make this journey easier. I know that the loving people on this site have helped me this past month with the loss of my son. They are all so caring and willing to send kind words or nuggets of wisdom on how to deal with such difficult circumstances. And this, besides the fact, that each one also has an Angel in heaven. You have come to the right place and I hope you continue with us as we navigate our "new normal." I know nothing will ever be the same, but I have found some solace knowing I can vent and get comfort on here with these amazing "parents".Here is a picture of my son with Dalyla, the daughter of his girlfriend. Love ya Brooks. Be solid! DadWade Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Barbara....I see a beautiful 'spirit child' in your daughter....and that 'spirit' still lives...and goes on...please tell us about her....let us know how you are doing....we have all been on this path....some have been on the grief path longer....some for a short time...we are here to listen and hold our hand out to you as you travel this journey....it is hard...no one here will tell you it is easy...it is the hardest journey ever...but...it is 'do-able'.....and we hear you.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Laurie....just want you to know how I feel honored to 'share' that photo of your handsome SONshine boy....thank you....I feel as if I know him on some level....but tonight...I am sending out this message to you.....'Your boy would not have left you....unless he had to....but he is with you...that boy would never let anything come between him or his family....'....I do believe that...let us hear from you when you can....and we are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Lora....geez....that photo looks like 'Sisters'....thank you for sharing....once again...I see that curve of her smile...she reminds me of the ''goddess' photos I saw when I was young....beyond a beauty...for there has to be a special kind of personality to come shining through...now I know why you weep....and I weep with you....but....she is with you....for a persona like that does not go away...never...ever....that is why you feel her near you....for she will never leave you....ever. Not her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 thanks for sharing that photo Wade.....Just want people on this site to know this....I was a very 'social' person in our small Texas town....and then....I lost my John David...there was a person on this site....her name is Dee...Erica's Mom....who was my 'cheerleader' on the sidelines....to help me....say...'No thank you'....'Not at this time'....to give me confirmation about my need to 'cocoon'....my time to 'heal'....my time...and for me not to apologize....or me feeling bad about not attending all the social functions...etc......many of you may feel you have to 'keep on with the keep on'....but that is not so.....please know....this is your grief...this is your journey...no one can walk it but you...and no one can tell you what your journey is about....just you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Lora....geez....that photo looks like 'Sisters'....thank you for sharing....once again...I see that curve of her smile...she reminds me of the ''goddess' photos I saw when I was young....beyond a beauty...for there has to be a special kind of personality to come shining through...now I know why you weep....and I weep with you....but....she is with you....for a persona like that does not go away...never...ever....that is why you feel her near you....for she will never leave you....ever. Not her. Yes, I agree, Cara's sweet personality does shine through...she is a lovely soul... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 thanks for sharing that photo Wade.....Just want people on this site to know this....I was a very 'social' person in our small Texas town....and then....I lost my John David...there was a person on this site....her name is Dee...Erica's Mom....who was my 'cheerleader' on the sidelines....to help me....say...'No thank you'....'Not at this time'....to give me confirmation about my need to 'cocoon'....my time to 'heal'....my time...and for me not to apologize....or me feeling bad about not attending all the social functions...etc......many of you may feel you have to 'keep on with the keep on'....but that is not so.....please know....this is your grief...this is your journey...no one can walk it but you...and no one can tell you what your journey is about....just you.Susan,Thank you for sharing that with me. I'm just worn out right now...physically, emotionally, psychologically, and maybe even a little spiritually. Maybe I went back to school to soon. I just don't know about "things" anymore. Everything was so good, and now everything is so bad. All of you are getting me through this and I can't thank you enough. Little things keep popping up like getting his death certificate on Tuesday and then his cologne today from the funeral home. And I have to go pick up his effects and I'm afraid to. Will they give me his clothes and shoes even though they might be bloodstained?You all are amazing people. You truly are! I really don't know how I would be coping now if I hadn't found this site. So much empathy and love. If only we could have met by happenstance at a ballgame, or school with our children... I think of how nice it would have been to know you under those circumstances. I look at how many posts some of you have made and wonder at your strength.Here's a note that Brooks wrote Shauna. I take solace that he was beyond his addiction and this last year was amazing for him. For Renea and I, as well. We all did well, didn't we?Wade Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Becky,Just noticed today's rendering of Jared and his car. Fantastic! A beautiful labor of love for you and your husband. One of my school friends just bought a 68 Mustang that he's starting to restore and he gave me a key to his garage so I could go over anytime and work to get away. Looking forward to it. I remember when I bought Brooks his truck and how proud he was to drive on his own. I'm sure Jared is looking down and saying to his Angel friends, "Yeh, that's my ride..." I gave Brooks' "stepson" his truck so he has something to drive to school now. He's a senior in high school and he was really stoked.Thanks for all the pics of Jared. What an amazing young man!Wade Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Barbara...so sorry for your loss. Your daughter was a truly beautiful young woman. Wade...thanks for sharing that photo. I too am glad that you found this site. Becky, that car is just awesome! It has my name on it. Thanks for your concern. This flu bug always manages to settle in my chest. Worst time possible with Thanksgiving a few days away. I am so grateful for the good news regarding my husbands health. This Thanksgiving is going to be a good one. No more chemo! Yeah! Laurie, may all of the beautiful memories that you hold close wrap themselves around you and give you comfort tomorrow as you remember your sweet young man. Lora, do not work too hard. You don't want to get run down and catch the flu. Dee, that baby is just precious. Wishing everyone a peaceful sleep. Love, Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hopeful40 Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Barbara...so sorry for your loss. Your daughter was a truly beautiful young woman. Wade...thanks for sharing that photo. I too am glad that you found this site. Becky, that car is just awesome! It has my name on it. Thanks for your concern. This flu bug always manages to settle in my chest. Worst time possible with Thanksgiving a few days away. I am so grateful for the good news regarding my husbands health. This Thanksgiving is going to be a good one. No more chemo! Yeah! Laurie, may all of the beautiful memories that you hold close wrap themselves around you and give you comfort tomorrow as you remember your sweet young man. Lora, do not work too hard. You don't want to get run down and catch the flu. Dee, that baby is just precious. Wishing everyone a peaceful sleep. Love, KateKate. Thank you for your kind words. Hearing them will certainly help in grieving period. I am now experiencing a "new normal" in and with my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hopeful40 Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Barbara...so sorry for your loss. Your daughter was a truly beautiful young woman. Wade...thanks for sharing that photo. I too am glad that you found this site. Becky, that car is just awesome! It has my name on it. Thanks for your concern. This flu bug always manages to settle in my chest. Worst time possible with Thanksgiving a few days away. I am so grateful for the good news regarding my husbands health. This Thanksgiving is going to be a good one. No more chemo! Yeah! Laurie, may all of the beautiful memories that you hold close wrap themselves around you and give you comfort tomorrow as you remember your sweet young man. Lora, do not woterk too hard. You don't want to get run down and catch the flu. Dee, that baby is just precious. Wishing everyone a peaceful sleep. Love, KateKate. Thank you for your warm and kind words. They WILL help in my healing process. I am attempting to adapt to this "new normal" I am experiencing.Barbara Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hopeful40 Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Kate. Thank you for your kind words. Hearing them will certainly help in grieving period. I am now experiencing a "new normal" in and with my life.It seems I am Not doing somethng correct in my replies to others. Can someone assist. Much appreciated. Barbara Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 JESSE Sweet Sweet Son of your Momma's Heart,fly close to your family today as they mourn your leaving one year ago, as they try to make sense of the world that has changed so since you left. Let them know that you are near, not very far, just through a slight veil and that you are more than fine. Let them feel your peace.Laurie, I know what this day may feel like for you and the family, hang on as you move through it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hopeful40 Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 God is good ALL the time. A very close and dear friend, has called me. Extended an invite to take me to lunch...and to also visit Home Depot after. She wishes to purchase a tree in Ayanna's memory...and plant in my backyard.Initially, I was hesitate and thought it best not to get involved for either idea. Rethought and decided, this is a step in the right direction; and something needed in this grieving process and "new normal" which I am entered into.I continue to ask HIM, to make me strong, as I so long to hug my Ayanna, and tell her how much I love her and miss her much. She now sings for heaven's angels.Barbara Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Jesse David, Jesse David, JESSE DAVID!!!! Click to enlargeWe shout out your name to heaven, where we know you now reside, and lift up your mamma in prayer today on your first angelversary!! Laurie, my thoughts and prayers are with you today, and I pray your boy will be close enough to you today that you feel the brush of his wings, and the warmth of his kiss on your neck. He is smiling down on you and sees your struggle, and wishes for you to know he is really ok, and wants for you to be as well.Barbara, your daughter, Ayanna, is beautiful! I am sorry you have experienced this loss which has led you to us, but know that you have landed in a soft place, where you will find comfort and understanding that only those who have experienced it can offer.Susan, thank you so much for sharing that article the other day on the family that saw no justice on the loss of their child. I could so relate to their pain and their experience was so similar. It made me very sad to know that there are others with this added layer to their grief. I can only think that because the hearts of men are so impure that it won't be long before the clouds part and we are all reunited. That's one trip I surely don't want to miss! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hotrod Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 JESSIE, JESSIE, JESSIE YOU ARE LOVED AND MISSED EACH DAY. TOUCH MOM WITH YOUR LOVE TODAY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff's Mom Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Decided to delete the post. Far too upbeat. Laurie, holding you close. I am sure Jesse is surrounding you today with his love. Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Susan, your extending love and heart here is huge and warm. I am glad that you felt the same thing when you first came and still.Barbara, I am so sad for the loss of your Girl. She is a pretty woman with a gorgeous smile. There is no more painful time as this...hang on to us here and follow your heart. I think that the living memorial (tree) will give you great solace in the years that follow. There are two trees purchased by two different groups, in our town, one right near school and one at the park at the end of our old block. The town/village will plant the memorial trees at a reduced rate in parks around the town. I love watching these trees grow over time. I love knowing that when folks stop to read the plaque, they are thinking of the girl born on 4-4-84 and died on 7-14-2003. They read, Erica Eileen Reith and see the ribbons I tie in her branches, like I used to tie in her hair. Blessings to you as you find your way.Lora, I love the photo you posted of Cara and her friend, and the photo of you and She. Lovely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guest Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissingB Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Laurie - I'm praying for you today. I hope you can smile at least once in the day for Jesse David, your handsome boy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Laurie...I, too, woke up this morning thinking of you and yours...and Jesse David....such a beautiful name for a beautiful son....I am a little emotional now...and I have a 'real something to take care of'....so I don't want the tears to start their travel down my face....making their sad tracks....so I am coming back later to post something very special for you....and all on this site....Peace ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lovU2themoon Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Laurie, thinking of you today and remembering your Jesse.JESSE JESSE JESSE FOREVER LOVED. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MissingB Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 All - I've been reading posts a lot but have found myself a little paralyzed in responding. I'm just in a weird spot. I feel like I was handling things so much better a couple of months ago. I really don't like this roller coaster ride.My husband and I have been having a tough week. It is a bookend week - we started the week marking 10 months without Bryce. And we will end the week with his birthday. It is the first birthday without him to hug, joke and talk with. He will have been 24 this year. We are going to the coast and to the campground where we spent many of his birthdays. It is going to be the first time we have visited since Bryce was taken and our intent is to spread some of his ashes in this memory filled place.Monday took me be surprise and there was nothing I could do but cry that entire day. I know that I have to just let it happen when it comes like that, but I cried all day at work and then got home where I could really let it out and by then I couldn't have cried had I tried. So crazy.We have a lot firsts coming up in the next couple months including that dreaded first anniversary of his passing. The holidays coming up are filling me with angst. Bryce died between Thanksgiving and Christmas, so officially, we have had that first Christmas but I barely remember it. I want to wake up and have it be January. Thank you all - the more "experienced" - and you who have just joined this club we don't want to be a part of, for being here. It is nice to know I can come here and understand I am not alone in how I feel about things, take away wise words and for getting the compassion & empathy that I can't get from others who have not had to go through losing their child.Someone recently wrote in one of their posts something that really struck me....We waiver between the lines invisibleI have played with a comma and makes the meaning for me different, but exactly right. I would have to go back and find who to credit with this, which I haven't done. I just read it and immediately wrote it on a sticky note and attached it to my monitor. To the one who wrote it - thank you.Here are some pics of Bryce from my brothers wedding a couple of years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mysonrich Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Jesse DavidJesse DavidJesse David........Hold me in your thoughtsTake me to your dreamsTouch me as I fall into viewWhen the winter comesKeep the fires litAnd I will be right next to you...(Warren Zevon) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest Trista's_Mom Posted October 10, 2013 Guests Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Jesse David, Jesse David, Jesse David,Saying your name today to honor you. Let your Mom feel you near to her today and wrap her in your love.Laurie,I've thought of you all day. I made these pictures for you inspired by Becky and all the creative things she does. Although, I'm still trying to figure out photoshop. I wanted to put them in a collage but couldn't figure out how to do that. I hope they bring you some comfort today. Shannon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted October 10, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 10, 2013 Thank you all for helping me through Jesse first Angelversary...for all the new pictures posted of Jesse (Shannon and Becky) and just for the love shown in celebration of him...I have said this so many times, but "here" is a very special place to help each other along this terrible grief journey, to share the little bits of wisdom gained in our own personal struggles, to share our unique spiritual experiences that touch us deeply in our soul, and to provide a place to mourn, to even wail, and know that it is all okay... May God's love and peace touch you all today...our children are alive and well being held forever in God's eternal love...close to His heart...Jesse David's Mom, Laurie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmomrs Posted October 11, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2013 Laurie...may your beautiful son surround you with his sweet, sweet spirit...know that he is with you always. Sending you hugs and strength. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 11, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2013 am sorry..for I could not post what I wanted to....so many...energy things coming from so many different places...but I will tomorrow...amazing....but I am with you all....most of all...am with you Laurie....he is with you...for sure he is... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wgreenlee Posted October 11, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2013 Laurie,Couldn't get on here earlier, but know that I have been thinking of you and Jesse all day. A beautiful young man gone to heaven, but here in our hearts. I love the fact he was such an outdoor person and liked working on the farm. I was the same growing up in northern MN. Loved driving the tractor for haying season...instead of throwing the bales. Jesse looks so strong and determined. You did well! I pray that there were many amazing memories of him keeping you company and letting you know how precious he is to you.Wade Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted October 11, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2013 Hey Wade,I am sending you the link to the entire process of restoring Jared's car. Thought you might be interested!https://www.facebook...30157173&type=3BTW, that note from Brooks, just precious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted October 11, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2013 Good to see Betty, Carol, and Betsy here today! I love seeing the familiar faces of Stephen, Mike, and Rich!! We miss you, and think about you!! Missing B, Bryce's mom, for me it seems that the days and even weeks leading up to a marker, such as the same day of the week, the monthly dates, and the year dates or holidays, are often harder than the actual day or date. We just never know when that overwhelming sorrow will strike. Sometimes when you least expect it. Life is so changed, 23 is a magic number for me, as that was my Jared's birthdate, the 23rd of April. Does anyone else notice numbers like that? I still haven't gotten over the little paper sticker that was on Jared's chest in autopsy photos, where it had his sisters and his birthdates within the case number. What does it all mean? Anything? Just a coincidence?My daughter's birthday is 7-11 and Jared's was 4-23Thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 11, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2013 We read this on the boat...when we 'Blessed and Released' John David's ashes.... We Remember ThemIn the rising of the sun and its going down,we remember them.In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,we remember them.In the opening buds and in the rebirth of spring,we remember them.In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer,we remember them.In the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn,we remember them.In the beginning of the year and when it ends,we remember them.When we are weary and in need of strength,we remember them.When we are lost and are sick of heart,we remember them.When we have joys we yearn to share,we remember them.So long as we live, they too shall live,for they are now a part of us,As we remember them.Hebrew Union Prayer Book Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 11, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2013 MissingB.....this site has been a life line for me....for I don't have a circle of friends who have lost a child...and until it 'happens'...there is just nothing that can prepare you for the crippling grief that comes over one. If all you can do is read posts...that is fine....if you find 'one' word that helps you...or 'two' words that can give you a lift from that dark spot....then that is what we are all here for....to simply give a hand up to one who is on their knees...and let you know there are those that 'know' what you are feeling. Each child is unique....your grief journey will be unique...there are common threads in each journey....and that is what we share. Please know we are all here for you. It is just so damn hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 11, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2013 Hey there Becky--yes I notice numbers all the time. Actually the number 4 has always shown up for us, I used to wake up with insomnia at 4:44 all the time, and so did my sis, long before I had children, Eri's birth was on 4-4-84. Three fours. My niece has insomnia quite often and it is often at 4:44. But yes, other numbers and combinations show up and feel like a lovely sign. No coincidence in my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted October 11, 2013 Members Report Share Posted October 11, 2013 Yes....I have mentioned 'the dates..numbers' on this site....uncanny....and I realized that instead of being in the 'Breakfast Club'....I will have to join the '3:00 A.M.' Club...my sleep patterns are not good at all....and nothing to do but to push through it...and not fight it...just accept it. I do bring a new meaning to 'Zombie'..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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