Loss of an Adult Child

[mysonrich]

Jared, Jared, Jared, ~~~~~~

Oh the tree of life is growing

Where the spirit never dies

And the bright light of salvation

Shines in dark and empty skies

When the cities are on fire

Just remember that death is not the end

And you search in vain to find

Just one law abiding citizen

Just remember that death is not the end.

Not the end, not the end

Just remember that death is not the end .

[Mermaid Tears]

thank you ...myson rich....yes....you have that 'truth' that wonderful 'faith'...thank you for sharing what many of us are clawing our way....up that dark...muddy...and hateful...mean...path....to what is 'up there...elusive...out of sight...out of our hearts....but we know it is around 'there'....

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Today was such an emotional, sad, exhausting day. My Grandma is here to spend a couple days so we decided today would be the day to decorate Trista's site for Halloween. My Grandma likes to be involved in those things when she can be here for them. I went to the garage to get the boxes of the things I had ordered and they were gone. I called my husband in a panic because he had been there on Saturday to see the boys. He told me he had thought they were empty boxes and threw them out. All the decorations I spent hours searching for were gone. I had spent so much time planning her decorations, choosing things she loved, things that showed her love of Halloween and her personality. I had an Edgar Allan Poe garden flag, Nightmare Before Christmas decorations, I even found Hello Kitty Halloween decorations. I made sure I put all these things in a corner of the garage that I use to store things for Trista's site and for the boys. I never put junk there. I don't know how this happened. I spent the rest of the day trying to find things at least close to what I lost.

Susan posted:

So true Lora.....we have to give them some kind of 'road map'....we have to give them the 'life goes on' kind of spirit....we want them to be loving and feeling love...even when death comes and takes us home...we want them to always be 'at home'...and we want them to learn how to walk...be alive...be happy...content...strive...yes...strive...this is life....there has never been 'life' without the 'passing'....ever....we are such children when it comes to learning life and lessons...

I'm trying so hard to do this with my boys. I hope I can.

Laurie,

I will check into victims rights here. Thank you for sharing all you do. It was your suggestion that prompted me to look into a private reconstructionist. I'm thinking of you and sending wishes for comfort during this time. I'm so glad your daughter is able to take time off to be with you.

Wade,

Thank you for sharing Brooks stories with us. Also thank you for your kind words about my Trista. I love her smile.

Lora,

I'm taking your advice and taking my time with Trista's stone. I want it to be very personal to her. Thank you for sharing that website. I ordered a personalized flag for her site to put out there until her stone is placed.

Thinking of all tonight. This is just a really sad night for me. Wishes and prayers for peace and comfort for everyone.

Shannon

[ericasmom]

Susan, thanks for your sweet words, I want to be here more, but between my exhausting allergies and my work to keep my students on target, I am simply pooped. I did not start teaching officially until I was 38, so this is my 20th year. At my age, most of my friends have put their names in for retirement in the next few years, I on the other hand haven't. I still love what I do, but this new twist is not easy, I am the old dog, these new tricks SUCK! Common Core is the initiative across most states, and if rolled out correctly it looks very different than what we are doing.

Anyhow Sweet Woman, thanks for your words. I am here and reading as best I can.

Shannon, wow, that really stinks that the decorations disappeared and that you find that your husband threw them out. I am so sorry but glad that you have Grandmom with you.

Lora, how is your Jared enjoying school life?

I went to the doc today but they did not give me antibiotics at this time. Just needed them to listen to my lungs because I had a wheeze two weeks ago. No wheeze today which is nice. Still very congested and uncomfortable. I am hoping for deep sleep like I was able to find last night.

Betsy, nice poem/song. Good to see you here today.

Laurie, you are marching to the dates on the calendar, to the skip counting of your heartbeat. Remember that meeting this date can be many things for you, we are holding your hands and your heart through it all.

A poem I wrote early on in my grief:

Homeless

A relentless stream, torrent really

of tears

salt and sting-

sounds finding their way up from deep soul,

like animals wildly searching for a place to be

but unable to rest,

crazy with grief.

Home is missing

you are not here

and so my home is missing.

And I circle and cross my own path

all traces of what was-

are gone.

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Dee,

Thank you for sharing that poem tonight.

Shannon

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Weekends are so lonely. It's the time when I would be either driving Tris where she wanted to go, picking her up, or my house would be full of girls raiding the fridge and camping out in the kitchen telling me all their stories. I don't know how many times Tris said, "Oh my God! I can't believe you just told that to my Mom!" I miss her so so much.

Shannon

[mikesmomrs]

Becky, I am so very sorry that I missed sending my wishes to you on Jared's angelversary date. I pray that your sweet boy surrounded you with his spirit and you felt him close to you. I loved the pictures; thank you for sharing. I did try to read some of your diary, but this month is just too emotional for me, as well, but I did get through the first half dozen or so pages, and your writings are, as usual, so heartfelt and beautiful. Your JARED is with you always, but you already know that.

[Guest]

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[ericasmom]

Carol, it has been a while and it makes my heart happy to see your post. Love you.

Becky, the photos and words expressed say so much, your Boy shines on in every way he can.

Lora, I am glad to hear that Jared loves his school and city experience. It will rain here today too, the dark sky promises this. We need it but yes, the barometer makes me sleepy. I am more than thrilled that today is Saturday.

Tomorrow we walk for Junior Diabetes Research Foundation. I will go with Jon, Shan, Erica Elizabeth. Shannon's nephew has diabetes and the family has been marching for 10 years now to support the research efforts into this disease. Her family raises a great amount of money and it is an honor each year to join them.

Shannon, I hope the day unfolds in ways that bring you smiles.

Gretchen, you okay out there?

Sherry, thinking of you and hoping you are enjoying the autumn.

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Thank you, Dee. I think today will be a better day. We just had a JDRF walk here. I didn't walk this year but did support my friend's sons group. He has diabetes and they walk every year as well. She is also a driven Mama to raise awareness and money to support research.

Lora,

I loved your choice of words. Believe me, I was "blessing" him all day. Thank you for sharing stories about Cara. I relate a lot with our Girls being so close in age.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

My cousins from Tennessee are coming to visit today. I haven't seen them since Trista's services so I'm looking forward to that visit.

My cousin's Grandson is doing well and got to go home. It was scary for awhile but he's going to be fine. Thanks to all for prayers for them.

Night before last I was having a rough night. I walked out on my deck to look at the stars. It was cloudy so there was just one visible star but it was really bright. I started talking to Tris, imagining that star was her. The next morning I talked with my Grandma who shared a poem she had written the night before for Trista. She's not a big writer but said she just felt the need to write this. It's called, "My Shiny Star." It seems she was writing about the same time I was talking to Tris on the deck. A little later I got a picture with a quote from a friend. It was the one that says, "Perhaps they are not stars in the sky but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy." I messaged her back and told her this story. She said she had chills (in a good way) while reading it. She told me she was so glad she had decided to send that to me or she would not have known that story. She shared some experiences with me that she has had since her Mom passed from cancer and told me that she doesn't share those things because she feels like people will think she's nuts but was so glad I had shared with her because she knows she's not and neither am I. I do believe that Tris was letting me know that she heard me talking to her star that night.

Laurie, Becky, Wanda, Mary, Gretchen, Wade, Kate and everyone else here, I'm thinking of everyone and sending wishes for a peaceful day.

Shannon

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Today is my son, Jesse's birthday....he called me this morning and said this to me....

"Mom...we all knew that if you could make..if you could get through it...we could, too".....

so to all of the parent's on this site....as we grieve...as we cry...as we go through this 'unreal' horror....that many of us have our other children that are looking at us...to us...to pull them through on this journey....they need us in a way as never before....to love and lead them.

Susan,

Thank you for sharing this. These are things I'm trying to do for my boys and worry if I'm doing okay for them. This was very inspiring.

Shannon

[lovU2themoon]

today is my birthday, i had lane for 16 of my birthdays, and now i don't have him.

I am struggling today, although everyday is tough, i am not really sure feel much different as my heart is broken today, yesterday and tomorrow.

[wgreenlee]

Sorry I haven't been on here much lately to support the rest of you. Just having an extremely tough time. Really need your prayers.

The only time I'm not thinking of Brooks is at school, so the weekend is already tough. I guess it just will take time. Still thinking and praying for each and everyone one of you. Thinking of how Brooks would like to meet all of your angels and what they might do. Probably not what I should do. Hopefully I can get it together.

Lots of love...Wade

[Mermaid Tears]

Hello....to Wade and Wanda...and all the ones who have just started walking the grief journey....

I think...(now this is just me talking here)....many may be just a little too hard on yourselves....now...just think if you were sitting beside someone that was your family or friend and they had lost a child....how would you respond to them...?

Now....use the same gentle words and expressions and care and consideration....on yourself.

I think it is more normal to have sob sessions...to be exhausted from the heavy grief...remember...this is a 'new emotion' that you are carrying..and you do have to learn to balance that 'extra load'....I think it is normal to have 'really..really..really bad days'....it is normal to want to slink back in bed and cover your head...it is normal to 'cocoon' yourself for you are learning a new way...to face the world....it doesn't happen in a ' 1 - 2- 3'.....grief is a process....a journey...and you have to know on this journey...healing is taking place in your heart, soul spirit and physical body....

Please be kind to yourself...let yourself have a bad day...a good cry...gather yourself around yourself...there is no hurry...there is no bell that will go off and buzz that your time is up.

This is something I posted sometime ago...Peace to all today.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

I offer prayers for all who find themselves walking this grief journey...we struggle along as fellow pilgrims...holding out a hand to those stumble...and keeping in the footsteps of others who traveled this hard path...

[ericasmom]

Ditto to what Susan expressed, time is new now, it moves differently and you are beat up from this loss, we go through many physical changes along with our broken hearts. The only way through grief is to go through it, staving it off for another time when crying might seem more convenient does not usually work, just let it roll out of you, it needs to roll out of you.

Big thunder and huge lightning is all around us now, I was on the deck reading a bit but now it is dark and ominous. This front is supposed to dump a lot of rain, but also cleanse the air of the heavy allergens that have been trapped here in the thick humidity. Hope we keep our electricity.

Wanda, not a happy birthday I know, but the day you came to the world is mighty important to Lane and to your Daughter. So in a way that is not offensive, I say happy birthday. It is in you that these wonderful children came to be. Your Boy would want you to somehow know he loves your birthday the way you love his.

[Jeff's Mom]

I am just quickly stopping by to say that I am thinking of everyone. I know how hard these first few months can be. Warm thoughts are reaching out in the hope that you will find strength and comfort to work your way to a place of peace. Thanks to everyone for their wishes about my husband. We truly appreciate your concern and prayers. I have been so busy between medical stuff and trying to get things done around here in preparation for winter. It appears as if we may have an early one and as I am doing most things solo it is keeping me on my toes. I read everyones posts and have appreciated seeing the beautiful monuments that you have designed. The poetry and all thoughts shared has also helped me immensely during this difficult time with my husband. It means the world to me to know that others do care and truly understand this feeling of isolation that sickness and loss can place us in. We are getting ready to celebrate our Thanksgiving next weekend and I am really hoping for a beautiful few days. Sending love to all. Kate

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Wanda,

Trista's accident was June 1st. Her birthday was June 21st and mine was July 5. Those days were so hard. Like you, I can't say they were "harder" than any other day at that time because the pain was so intense all the time. I guess they were different because of the memories those days bring. It brought to mind all the birthdays, hers and mine, that were spent together and those days came so soon after she left. I know how hard this is and I'm thinking of you today. I know you miss your Lane so very much.

Susan said:

....it doesn't happen in a ' 1 - 2- 3

I feel like I'm one step forward and two steps back. I'm know I'm not in the same place I was 4 months ago or two months ago but I don't know where I am or where I'll be from day to day. It's like Susan said, "Healing is happening" but we do have to be gentle with ourselves and as Dee said, "just let it roll out".

Wade,

It is a comforting thought to me and I know to others here that our Angels may have met up over there and maybe even have a hand in bringing us all together. I'm sending you prayers for peace and comfort.

Laurie,

You're words are so true. I'm reaching out my hand to you. I know this is a hard hard time.

Shannon

[Guest]

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[ericasmom]

Thanks Lora, I hope that the weather will be cooperative. A huge turnout is always best. It will be muddy, I know that as it has rained up to 2 inches in an hour and about another half inch just now. We meet at the lakefront to walk, it is a stunningly lovely backdrop for such a thing.

A poem about time, the abstraction in our lives when we lose a child.

Time is the worlds' magician-

making changes that can scarcely be noticed by some-

while others are deeply pained as it slows itself

a warp of sorts-

when nighttime falls on a grieving household

refusing to rush through those darkest hours,

making us audience to each tick of the hands

insisting on drawing each second into a slow motion replay

while all those moments that came before the hurting time,

sped past with record breaking fluidity-

birthdays, holidays, walks to the park, first days of school, graduations,

and simple days that felt like real life,

sped by,

nobody let us know that time would one day crawl and with it, we too would crawl

among the ruins of what once was.

But from those early days laying among the broken pieces, we still exist and we learn to stand again, though we are unsure why,

and we learn to walk,

to speak,

to say their names

to insist on hearing their names,

and in it all the days pass and calendar pages get folded back,

and we realize that no matter the speed,

time is the worlds' magician.

[wgreenlee]

Your encouragement got me going a little today. Thank you. Went to visit Brooks and started reading to him the last book in a series he wanted to finish. Played some music and just sat and read. Nice visit. Made a candy bar bouquet for his friends when they visit. Renea went with me and we actually smiled and had some peace. Still can't get over that he's so close to me, and if I just dug away I could see him and touch him again...

Thank you Lora for your encouragement. The shock still hasn't worn off, but I know it will.

Thank you Shannon for your words of comfort. I do feel them. Today was a little better, and I know I'm not alone in this. I like to think that our Angels have met and are sharing their incredible life stories right now. Makes me feel better thinking this.

Love back to you, as well, Kate.

Thank you Susan for everything you do. I was uplifted by what you wrote. I can do this...I will do this...Normal will never be normal again, but I will honor my son and all of our Angels by remembering them, even though we never got to meet. Our love for our children will never diminish.

Thank you Laurie for your help in my journey. What you wrote was beautiful! We are pilgrims and there are tough times ahead, but we must all persevere for there is good and beauty ahead.

Thank you Dee for giving me the courage to just let it roll out. I guess the man in me says...no way...but the dad in me says let it go... Not sure who is winning and that worries me a little. Brooks was my only child and I need to be strong for Renea, Shauna, and her children.

Sending prayers, thoughts, encouragement, and love to everyone. Thank you!!!!!!!!!

Wade

P.S. Figured out how to get those darn pictures from my iPad turned around.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Time is the worlds' magician-

making changes that can scarcely be noticed by some-

while others are deeply pained as it slows itself

a warp of sorts-

when nighttime falls on a grieving household

refusing to rush through those darkest hours,

making us audience to each tick of the hands

insisting on drawing each second into a slow motion replay

while all those moments that came before the hurting time,

sped past with record breaking fluidity-

How odd, this was exactly what I was doing, watching the clock on my computer, watching each passing second...the countdown...

Here is another thought about time I was just reading before I saw your post...

from cs lewis after the loss of his wife.. "Until this I always had too little time. Now there is nothing but time. Almost pure time, empty successiveness."

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

[Jeff's Mom]

Laurie, I know how hard this time is to get through. I truly do. The first couple of years of special remembrances are so difficult. Please do not delete your posts. This is how you are feeling. This is your way of continuing. He was a pretty awesome guy. AND Jesse will never be forgotten. No, not ever. His spirit lives on in all that was good and beautiful about him. You played a part in that. You and your husband. You raised him to be a compassionate and caring young man. He legacy is that of caring. You will see him again. Hold on... my girl. Sending "Hugs" and a sincere wish for a deep and peaceful sleep tonight. Love never dies. Kate

[Mermaid Tears]

Oh Sweet Beautiful Laurie....never..ever delete what you write....for don't you know...it can be a light for someone that just puts their first step on this journey...

And for everything you bring...

You bring for that SONshine boy of yours....and....the way he was a 'caretaker..and helper'...he would want you to do this.....for him....to help others in that dark journey....it is like....he is leading you to help others...just as he did...and will want to continue to.....

If I can see that.....so can so many others.....

It hurts...and I am with you on that hurt walk....

it is 'gut wrenching'...just know that we will listen...hear you...be with you....and this is just so damn hard.....don't ever think you have to delete anything...

Now...as I have said...I think you are closer to the Spirit...you have lost two....

You are in a place that many of us on this site cannot fathom....

But we are with you....always....

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Thank you Kate and Susan for your kind words...and for Dee on sharing her poem....

here is a close up of Jesse...

If anyone else wants to share some pictures of their children...

Angel’s Call

by Ron Tranmer ©

An angel in a robe of white

came to me as I slept last night.

She smiled and whispered in my ear,

“It’s time for you to come, my dear.”

“Though time was short since you were born,

you’ve earned the crown without the thorns.

God knows the sweetness of your soul.

Your spirit and heart are pure and whole”

I asked if I could say goodbye,

to Mom and Dad who were nearby.

The angel smiled, and said with a nod,

“I’m sure that will be ok with God.”

Did you feel my kiss goodbye,

and the tears that fell from my eyes?

Have trust in God, though I must go.

Just like me, He loves you so.

He will comfort, and hold your hand,

and help you so you’ll understand.

And when your heavenly call comes too,

with outstretched arms I’ll come to you.

[wgreenlee]

Laurie, thank you so much for Jesse's picture. Was he hunting that day? My brother and sister live in WI and I remember going there for deer season. The poem was beautiful. Another moment of peace for me. Thank you.

Good idea about sharing pictures. I would love to see everyone's Angels.

Here's Brooks playing at an All-star game at UNR. First player ever to play the whole game...4 positions. The coach of the team was Carson's big rival...Reno HS...but he loved Brooks and how he played and wanted to give him extra attention for the pro scouts. Had quite a few of them come up to meet us after the game and say they were interested in seeing more of Brooks. Brooks was a junior then. Played in the same game as a sophomore too. Still have their cards... Brooks was so excited. Me too!

Had it blown up right away...after getting the rights This was the big picture displayed at the viewing and Celebration. Brought a lot of smiles and memories back for people.

Wade

[Mermaid Tears]

thank you Laurie and Wade...for sharing your child...an honor....that I feel that you would bestow on me....

will be back tomorrow...for sure ...to be with each of you...and all of you....for each one of you...are with me on this path....

am too emotional to post anything that would be worthy now...Peace to each of you....

[wgreenlee]

Thanks Susan...I hope others will share their Angels as well.

Praying for peace and love to find you and hold you close. Like someone said to me on here...be good to yourself. You deserve it!!!

Wade

[JD's Mom, Becky]

[Guest]

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[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Thank you Wade, Becky, and Lora for sharing your pictures of your beautiful children...

I think it is very healing to share our loved ones with others...so please if anyone else wants to share a larger photo...that would be so good...

Lora, I understand about the cemetery...I too feel the closest to Jesse there...I still want to get the bit of cremation jewelry to hold his hair...haven't done it yet...

Wade, Jesse is the kind of guy who loves the outdoors, hiking, exploring....and just being with nature...

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

What a beautiful thing to sit down to the computer this morning with my coffee and log in to see the pictures of these beautiful, amazing Angels... Jesse, Cara, Brooks, Jared...Thank you Laurie, for suggesting this. Tris was my outdoors girl too. She loved nature. One of my favorite Trista quotes is, "Flowers are the Earth laughing."

This picture was taken last winter. Trista went through a phase, like a lot of teenage girls, where she would not let anyone take her picture and was always hiding from the camera unless she was the picture taker. She loved taking pictures. Anyway, she wanted to go out sledding on the hill behind our house. Somehow, I talked her into letting me bring the camera. I titled this picture Snow Angel. I love it. Angel was one of my nicknames for Tris. Her first e-mail address that I made for her was trista_angel@yahoo.com.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Enjoying the pictures of our angels...

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Jesse on his tractor, he worked a lot with farm equipment...

(the image enlarges if clicked on)

And here is a quote from a story he wrote...summarized how he felt about life and how he lived...he enjoyed the quiet things of life...people were important to him...

"This is a story of a fantastic journey. A journey off the beaten path. Adventure and misadventure. I will tell you this story now of what I have lived."

Places where he loved to roam...he has many pictures like these of remote areas of nature...

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Laurie,

I love the pictures of Jesse and when I read that quote from his story it touched me deeply. Such an amazing young man with a beautiful loving Spirit. I love to read the stories of our Children. Jesse is a loving Soul for sure in the way he lived his life and the care and compassion he showed to others. Thank you for sharing.

Shannon

[lovU2themoon]

I agree with Shannon, what a great idea, and a nice surprise to see all our children's faces, and know about them. Such beautiful, amazing faces of our children.

Yesterday was hard, but they are all hard.

i thank you all for your kind words to help me get thru this first.

| am taking a step back, and just trying to navigate this new life one day at a time, one minute, one second at a time and trying to remember to breathe.....

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Wanda,

Your thinking is right and you are doing all you can right now just to breathe. I know it's hard. I read something today written by a man who lost two of his sons and he described it as cement blocks that rest on your heart and lungs. Your Lane always makes me smile when I see his pictures. That smile is contagious for sure!

Halloween has always been Trista's favorite. She always joked that if you got presents on Halloween it would beat Christmas.

This is her as Lady Ga Ga

This is her taking her pumpkin carving very seriously as always.

This one is at the pumpkin patch

Tris and Aiden looking for the perfect pumpkin

Shannon

[wgreenlee]

All the pics of your Angels are so uplifting. I'm being a little selfish here, but I really needed this. Just to see the beauty in our sons and daughters.

Thank you all so much and I hope we can continue sharing.

Here's Brooks at a water park in Reno. He took his two "stepdaughters" while Shauna was at work. He happened to meet some of his friends there, as well. He loved these types of activities with the kids.

Would any of you mind if I saved your Angel pictures and started to make a collage of them?

Praying for some peace and goodness today for all of you. Rest easy Angels...we love you!

Wade

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Wade,

I don't think you're being selfish at all. We all need this. I'm really loving seeing all these pictures of these Beautiful Children. I love the pics of fun times. I especially love the one you posted of Brooks with his stepdaughter. I have similar pics of Tris with her little brother and they melt my heart.

Becky,

I love the sports pics of Jared. He has the most beautiful eyes. My Boy is more of a computer/video game kid so most of my pictures of my Zak are him playing video games.

Shannon

[Mermaid Tears]

Wade...am going to post a photo of my son, Jeremy...he and Brooks really favor...and he was a baseball star, too....

Love those 'smiles with braces'....kids hate them...parents know it is a process...and a part of their growing up....

We have 6 children...Randa, John David, Jason, Aaron, Jesse and Jeremy...of course..they are all now Adult Children...but always my babies...

[ericasmom]

Okay, I will try to post a few of my Sweet Eri Eileen. One is when she was with a friend, Caitlin goofing around near here, cait was interested in photography and liked the movement of Eri's dreads. The other, when she was 11 and had her cat Stormy in her lap. She had saved her money to get her hair braided in over 30 braids.

[Mermaid Tears]

I do not know your Eri...just in the 'love and words' from you, Dee....and how I have fashioned a 'persona of her'....after looking at the photos....you had a true...'Free Spirit Girl'....no wonder she could capture the movement of the clouds...and have that 'Spirit Good by in the Sky'.....Shine on Silver Girl.....

Simply love the photos from the loved ones....of our loved ones...

Shining Through...

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

I agree with Susan. I don't "know" these beautiful kids but feel like I'm learning about them and their amazing Spirits through the sharing that happens here and I feel honored to do that. Dee, Eri is beautiful and I can also see her Free Spirit shining through.

Susan, I love the seaside pictures. Everyone looks so happy.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

It has been really good to see our children...

Dee, very nice to see Eri after hearing her story...and how her spirit lives on...

Would love to see some more pictures of the long time children on this site.... if you are up to it that is...

... a celebration of our children's lives...to be able to say "We Love You...today and forever"...

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Wade, I do not mind a collage, like the idea...

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[Guest Trista's_Mom]

I read this today and it really resonated with me... thought I would share.

One more set of picture to share... These are Trista being silly with her brothers, Zak and Aiden. I cherish the pictures of all three of them.

Shannon

Wow, I just realized how much I posted today... Sorry. The boys were gone and when I'm alone and having a hard day, I come here...

[Guest]

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[Mermaid Tears]

Geez...I had three phone calls from three different people....but they all have very similar problems...to talk it out with me....and they are the cause of all the problems...sad....

Laurie...I see a persona of your boy in the independent...freedom loving...mavericks...that loved their freedom...and their land...mountains...fields...trees...and loved to use their hands...to fashion not only their lives...but to fashion something useful....and unique. Those are the ones that can take a 'something' and make it into a real 'something'.....they are always building...dreaming...seeing the 'what can be' instead of 'what is'. I can also see the kindness and sweetness ...the kind that can only come from one who knows his strength...but uses it wisely. I see one that has so much 'goodness' inside him....he naturally wants to share with others. I truly am so very sad....that he left his earth home...so early....and left his family....I wish I had answers.

[ericasmom]

Thanks Susan, Shannon and Laurie, Eri was indeed someone with her own rhythm, her own style.

I miss her.

I too love all of the photos here. The gallery used to be more easily navigated so this is nice from time to time to post some photos. I am loving the many views of the kids that brought us here.

Going to watch Long Island Medium, I know that she is wacky with her big hair and ridiculously long nails, but I do think she has a strong gift.

PEACE out-

[Mermaid Tears]

Oh Lora....I see that Cara.....she was given so much 'love and kisses' she just percolates 'fun and happy'.....I can see it in the curve of her smile....it oozes out...right there at the corners of that contagious smile....that she shined on all around her....because then they would smile. There are those that have been given 'so much' that to give it away to others is not only of their nature....it just bubbles over to all that come around them. She just Shined !!! Her real considerate nature seems to be worn on her skin. I know why your heart cries....once again....I wish I had answers...but all I have is my hand for you on this journey.

[Mermaid Tears]

I love that name...Trista Mae....my Grama had a friend named Mae...I don't hear it any more...good to know that it is being passed on.....look at her....sometimes we see people that we think would be knocked over by a slight breeze...and then to come to find out they have a backbone made of the finest steel.....for they have loyalty. Loyalty comes from having an unconditional love in your DNA....never wavers...always strong. Look at that costume....all that youth and good times come forth. Love of family....right there in the pumpkin patch....never ending...and looking for good times in the every..every day life. She found magic in the everyday moment...in those slow minute by minute tick tocks that so many miss. Shannon...I weep for you...I do....but I can tell you that I will be with you on this journey...I have no map but will simply hold your hand and give you all the encouragement that I have to muster. It is just so damn hard.