Loss of an Adult Child

September 6, 2010

No tatts for me Lor, but many had the ERI tattoos put on thier feet so that when they greet folks the Chinese symbols for laughter or Beauty with EER on it faced the stranger on their foot. So pretty. I like the faith and hope. I have both inside me of which I am most grateful

Reading a book by a woman named Nicola Keegan, it is her first novel which I find amazing because she is so good at weaving a story. In her real life, she must have mourned deeply to have her main character capture so much of what our hearts went through, and especially the siblings of our Lost Child. It is about a young girl in a family of 4 girls who loses family. I won't tell you specifics because you may want to pick it up. The book is titled; Swimming.

The main character, Philomena says this while grieving; "I don't want to be human anymore. I don't know what I want to be, Not this. I'd like to be something quieter, wider, harder surfaced, something that doesn't know.

I remember feeling a bit like this, back when I was early on the path.

September 6, 2010

Lorri,

I love the tat. Hope and Faith-something I am desparately trying to get back these days.

I don't think I will be getting another tatoo though. I did get one in memory of Cory on the two year date of his passing. I almost passed out 5 minuntes into it. The poor gal doing it had to get me candy and a soda. She said you can oome back another time to have it finished. I was afraid I would never go back! I told her it had to be finished. I composed myself after about 20 minutes and got through it but I don't think it's something I will do again.

I'll try to find a pic of it. It's a heart and it has Cory written on the inside. Outside of it has: Forever in My Heart.

September 7, 2010

Krichie - I am sorry for the "so called girlfriend" - I still find it hard to believe that grown people can be so unkind and mean spirited. I always said that nothing will ever hurt me in this life as much as losing my daughter and that still stands true - however, when you hurt my grandson Tavian you have no idea what you up against, mi-mi is not someone to mess with - I can forgive but believe I do not forget. I have come to realize that your true friends stand by you no matter what and I have found that I have friends that have never left my side but I have family that have - and that my friend is a hard thing to come to tems with. I know that Tavian's father gave up on him the minute he signed over "full custody" to hubby and I and it wasn't because he thought it was the "best thing for Tavian" - it was because he didn't want to fight for him - we never gave up, no matter we had to do, no matter what the cost we fought with all the love we had for Jessica and Tavian. We all agree on this site that material things are not important - however when it comes to something that was Jessica's, something she treasured then you damn well not give me an argument about it because I will give you a smack down. So be strong and if there is something of your son's that you want then do not give up....do what you know in your heart is right.

We took our camper down to Gin Beach today - whoo hoo - camping this weekend...beautiful weather, peace, long walks on the beach, campfire at night and GOOD friends to share it with.

Looks like we may be looking for another house....talked to a few banks and since things are so slow in the housing department we would need to come up with around 25 thousand for a down payment plus closing costs and the payment per month would be about 2 thousand.....we could do the 2 a month but coming up with all the other is not a possibility. We are upset but not as bad as I thought, home is where you make it and so when we find a house that suits us then it will be made into our home....

Lorri - I love, love the tatoo - am going to get it done on my wrist or ankle - thank you for sharing it --

Am going to say good night to all as I need to do a little research on housing in our area...Love peace and strength..

September 7, 2010

WOW WHAT A DAY...MARGARITAS AND BURGERS AND LOTS OF SUN AND GOT A LIL RED ON THE TWINS....GOOD TIME THOUGH...KIMBERLY AND CODY BLEW N AND OUT WITH IN 3 HOURS BUT ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE THEM...MY SIS AND HER HUBBY LEAVING TOM AROUND 4 IN MORN....GOTTA GET HOME TO THE GRAND SON....KODY WENT TO RACE TRACK WITH A FRIEND OF OURS I PRAY HES SAFE AND GETS HOME SAFELY...
POSTING QUILT PIC FOR COLLEEN MADE OUT OF HER TSHIRTS AND LINED IN HER JEANS...THEN I HAD THE CORNERS EMBROIDRIED (SP) WITH HER NAME, BDAY ANGEL DATE, WEDDING DATE, AND A LIL SAYING..."SURROUNDED IN YOUR LOVE"...WHEN I CUDDLE UP IN IT..

Lorri,

I love the quilt! It's really nice. My mother makes quilts, and I am going to show her this picture. She will love it.

Konnie

September 7, 2010

lolynbo. My son made up a tatoo of Richies name like that no matter which way you look at it upside down or right side up it says Richie. But I am just going to have his name in script on my ankle fairly small and Kris on my other ankle. no dates just my boys names

I could not fight for the Nascars- there is no legal thing I can do- she says she does not have and am sure they aree in hiding so there is no proff to go after her.as far as dirt bike well it hurt to let that go but it was not worth the agrivation of going to court and taking a chance of losing anyway.

I have lost my grandson as far as I am concerned he is not Richies. I can not love someone I do not know. I love the idea of Richie having a son but not the idea of a son raised with out him and in such a hateful environment. When he is 18 he is free to contact me and find out he has a whole other family including a sister he was denied. We will work on having a relationship then but till then I hate to sound cold but he is not part of my life and am now having doubts that he is blood. Again think that Karma will kick her in behind when he learns about us and faces her with the facts.

I did start a journal where I was writing him a paragragh every weekend when we have Shavelle but after 6 months its all the same entries. we did this and wish you were here to enjoy it with us or we did that ect... ect.. I will have to just write something once or twice a year for him. I am going to have a photo album for him with all his aunts and uncles and other family memebers and I will have each of those people doing a small paragragh discribing one another so its not all one sided and he can get a better picture of who we were and are. Its all I can think of some of us might not be here when he reaches the age to find us.

Summergirl- I am like you don't mess with my grandbaby. The girlfriend when she moverd out of trailor filled all the light sockets with wall compound- creating a fire hazzard. That trailor I gave to my grand daughter for her mom and her to live in till when ever . If we did not notice the damage and they went to bed at night they all could of died from a fire. So the girl friend put my Shavelle's life in danger on top of the emotiuonal bs she is doing. I will not forgive that so you are a better person then me. I will never forget or forgive her for that.

well getting late here and my husband is in kitchen attempting to cook so I better go recue him.

Take care all BI's

September 7, 2010

I WANTED TO SHARE THIS SONG TOO....TURN IT UP LOUD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7FNBUVnRBw

September 7, 2010

Lori,

I like the song ..... thanks!

Kathy,

I'm glad you guys are having fun camping but sorry about the disappointment of the non-friend .....

Carol,

Your Ralph is home and doing well ....... wahoo!

Trudi,

My heart to you my friend ......

Rich and I went to Kansas City for opening day of college football. The Jayhawks lost a game they should have won ..... bummer!

But, I'm still glad we went. Rich has wanted to get away and I am happy at home with the pups. It was all good. Had dinner with good friends and enjoyed visiting our old neighborhood.

We really enjoyed just getting away together ....

Jason went to a game with us at the same stadium. It was one game but I can't even tell you how many times I thought about him on Saturday ...... and then a dragonfly kept flying around and they played the song, Sweet Child of Mine. Years ago, Jason called me to his room to listen to this song he loved.

When we got home, we went by to pick up Jackson. One of Jason's best friends watched him. Two of the other young men who were there the morning Jay died were there. They were working on their jeeps getting them ready for Pinnacle Days. Jason should have been there ..... his absence was heavy on my heart.

We are both missing our boy ...... the background noise has been very loud at times.

We finalized the t-shirt order for Pinnacle Days. The theme this year is a quote by Samuel Coleridge, Friendship is a sheltering tree. Khaki with black lettering. Hope they turn out well! I wanted a feather banner flag with Pinnacle Days on it but, it's just not in our budget this year.

Leah,

Your hot pink flag is in the mail and on it's way to you. It's the only pink I had so hope it's okay. Anyone else that wants one, you still have time. Send me your address and a color preference. I'll stick it in the mail to you.

I worked in the basement all day. I swear I think the boxes are multiplying on their own! I ran across a folder of Jason's artwork. He was pretty good. Rich wants to have some of it framed. I think I've avoided unpacking the basement because of all the memories. But, it's okay now. I may get misty eyed but it's not so overwhelming that I can't continue. At one point today, I just stood alone in the basement and held him close to my heart. I let the tears come and then dried my eyes and finished unpacking the box. I'm grateful for the memories even though they break my heart every time I visit them ........

Well, tomorrow is another day and I need to get ready for it. Hope everyone had a good holiday weekend. We never even grilled a burger ..... had leftover spaghetti and cheese doodles for dinner. :-)

Love!

September 7, 2010

Kathy: I am sorry that the house sale didn't work out...I hope you will find just what you are looking for when you start looking for another one. How long has the landlady given you to find a place? I am glad you are going to Gin Beach one more time. We drove out to the beach today...haven't been there all summer. It was refreshing to see the ocean and listen to the sounds of it once again.

Konnie: My MIL used to make quilts, but I have never mastered the art. I have wanted to put together a quilt for Sarah (Mike's wife) that is a photo quilt, but I've only gotten as far as printing the pictures on cloth. Maybe I will take a class.

Bonnie: I know what you mean about the boxes multiplying. It seems they never end. Visiting all those memories can be very painful, but we are so grateful for them. I hope Pinnacle Days is a good weekend, weather-wise. I think you had rain last year, didn't you? I wish so much I could come, but I will be there in spirit.

Krichie: I am sorry about all the problems re your grandson...I agree, writing a few times a year is better...it may be less pressure on you, too. I too love that Shavelle is going to throw a bottle out...she will remember these "tributes" to her daddy. On the night that Mike died, his middle son took it really, really hard. He asked his mom if he could send up a balloon for his dad...this was his own idea. He wrote messages all over it to his dad, and then let it go up into the night. I think it really helped him calm down. He eventually went to therapy for a few months, with a therapist who worked with children who had lost their parents to cancer, and it helped him a lot.

Dee: The book you are reading sounds good; I may pick it up. Thanks for sharing. I am on my second reading of "The Lovely Bones." Cathi had given me it for Mother's Day. The first time I read it was fairly soon after Mike died, and the references to Heaven ("Now I am in this place I call a wide, wide Heaven, because it includes all my simplest desires but also the most humble and grand. The word my grandfather likes is "comfort."" Later she says, "I wish you all a long and happy life." The book somehow brought comfort to me.

Trudi, Susannah, Betsy, Betty, Lorri, and all our Indigos...thinking of you and holding you close in prayers.

This afternoon we decided to drive out to the beach and we met Cathi and Jamie there. it was almost six pm, and we did not expect there to be as many people there as there were---I guess everyone wanted to hold onto those last moments of summer freedom. Ralph had to stay in the van, of course, because he really can't be out in public yet, but there was a nice breeze blowing through the van, so he was happy. Cathi, Jamie and I walked over to the "FunORama" that is there, beside the beach. We have a lot of history with this beach---My mom and I used to take my girls to this beach, and years later, Ralph and I and the kids used to live about 10 minutes from this beach when Mike was 12, right after we returned from two years in Italy. Mike loved riding his bike with his friends down to the beach and looking for cans to return to get coins for the games at the arcade in FunORama. The memories flooded over me as we walked towards the building and the familiar sounds of kids and machines surrounded my heart. As we got closer, over in the parking lot right next to the building, was parked a red punch buggy. I felt a warmth, almost like that of arms about me as I walked into the building. While we were there, Jamie wanted to get a picture of him and me together in the photo booth, for him to keep in his room. There was only one copy, so I took a picture of the photo. Look at the reflection of the flash on his shoulder. As we later walked through the sand next to the ocean in our bare feet, It was a night of sweet memories and even sweeter comfort, an hour or so stolen just before summer slipped down behind the horizon. I was really glad that we went.

The punch buggy is tucked down at the end of the building, on the far right.

I hope everyone has a good day...the weather here is fantastic. Ralph is doing well...and we all thank all of you, so very much, for your good wishes and prayers.

love and peace, carol mikesmomrs

September 7, 2010

Peace-filled day Everyone.

I was unable to really sleep last night, the last week has been a hard one where sleep is concerned. Body's thermometer is broken adn I am HOT! Even in the 25mph winds from the west last night, so pretty, I was HOT!

Oh well, another day.

September 7, 2010

Good Morning my BI Family,

I woke up today and was so tired out.. but it is such a good tired out. I am takig care of my one year old grandson, and my 8 year old grandaughter. It is hard, I won't lie. Their mom leaves for about 5 hours a day sometimes more. She is working, she calls me on break. She even begs me to drive her to work because she is frightened. I drive her, (about 15 miles) and pick her up. Sometimes I am lucky and get to leave everybody home with grandpa.. but sometimes we just all go for a drive. The boyfriend is contacting her, I know.. can't prove it, but she is telling me more and more how sick of him she is getting, tells me how sick she is in the head to have put up with it. It will be a long process of healing.. but I cant' explain to anybody the joy of the healing and the peace I feel. I don't feel the frustration of JaBoa telling me that something is wrong. but I feel peace.. my son and grandaughter laugh and talk about her and I feel all is right with the world right now. At least as right as it can be without JaBoa here to share...

Bonnie, thank you so much for sending the flag. I told my daughter about it, and she is so excited to help me get it ready, as soon as it comes we will work on it to get it back to you.. I hope it works, if not it will be ready for the next. You are wonderful for all you do for everybody and your angel knows he has a special mom.

Susannah.. thank you so much for all the special prayers.. I have read each of them over and over and hold onto the words. I know you understand the battle I was in. The battle I fear one day will rise again. I am so glad that your there for your grandchildren.. so sorry for all the pain they had to feel to get there. Steph is walking each step with you and enjoying watching you raise her children, your doing so awesome.

Carol, I am so glad Ralph is doing better, your always in my prayers.

Krichie. my thoughts are with you.. the children left behind, my heart goes out to them. I think the bottle idea is so sweet. We do baloons here every year for JaBoa, the kids (cousins, friends.. everybody) we pack them full of messages, they love it and the things they tell her..wow.. it just is beautiful

Betty, Dee, Elaine, Kathy, Lori, CJs mom.. names I can't remember... (just getting old).. I have to run.. just wanted you all to know I am doing fine and will try to get a schedule up so I can catch up.

I wish you all a wonderful day.. and all our angels take our hands to make our walk a little easier..

September 7, 2010

Good morning, Indigo's.

Leah - I'm glad your daughter and grandbabies are with you! Yes, they certainly can wear you out....but, it is SO worth it.... I'm glad you are forcing yourself to enjoy the NOW, knowing the bad and ugly can return. It takes a lot of discipline to put the ugly possibilities out of our thoughts. I'm successful at it some of the time..

All Indigo's....I have to get the grandchildren up and ready for school. I'm sorry I can't respond to each of you right now. Please know you are all in my heart and prayers everyday!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

September 7, 2010

Good Morning Indigos

The weather is cool (60) this morning. Falls is coming. Cool mornings and nights.

The changes of the season always remind me that the world is still turning without Brian. It is times like these that make me sad. Knowing the world is still turning and my Brian is not part of it. Knowing all other kids his age are in college, finding work, relationships, etc. That will never be for my Brian.

So hard sometimes, So much energy to accomplish simple tasks.

I am having a hard time today. Sad, Sad at our future without our children.

I need a hug

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

September 7, 2010

Oh, Colleen, that is exactly what I've been thinking this whole freaking never-ending holiday weekend. The class reunion was bearable, but I did have to inquire after other people's kids who were Westley's age and what they're doing now. And I'm happy for them, I really am, but it is just a reminder of what we've lost and will never have again, a future with our boy/girl in it. I made it through the reunion fine, but I just couldn't get going Sunday. I just sat on the couch mostly and watched silly movies one after the other, so I wouldn't have to think. And when we went to bed, I cried that God took my baby and left me without him forever, or something to that effect. It is so hard and so not fair. I can't clean his room or sell his car or close his bank account because I don't want to let him go. Even though he's already gone. I'm trying to be brave, but sometimes its just more than I can take. My daughter is gone this week and I'll be gone most of next week to a work thing and my husband will be gone the week after that, so I have a lot of alone-time coming up and that doesn't usually end well.

I hope everybody has a good day, well as good as you can.

September 7, 2010

Hello all, it seems a few here had trouble sleeping/resting last night. I woke up at 12:30 or 1am to the LOUD house alarm,false alarm,up again at 4 and still going. I was thinking that Rich would have never slept through that, late sleeper that he always was.

Karen, I understand your frustration in dealing with the ex g/f . I also realize what the cars mean to you. I would have to guess that pleasant talk or to a greater degree, stomping feet, will not help in having the cars returned. She has proven that already. I do pray that you do take care of yourself , be kind to yourself. talking to brick walls causes more grief and anxiety and now is the time to be gentle with your heart and don't let the actions of others hurt you more. maybe, in time, there will be a change of heart. I hope so.

Rhonda,We ,me, Rich and Sarah all love music and when Rich died it took me several months before I could even turn on a radio,pop in a cd, I just couldn't enjoy music, It raked on my nerves. I still have a cd of Rich's favorite tunes that I have not been able to play. I will,someday. Good that you could enjoy The Man in Black.

Dee, Betty,Carol,Trudi,Sus, Lorri,(very nice)Colleen,Kathy, everyone, may our night be restful.

September 7, 2010

Dee----That hot classroom sounds quite unpleasant......but am hoping that the cooler weather will move in

to stay. Your peach pie sounds just YUMMY.

Elaine----Your yard sale must have been a success. Also, hope you sell the rest on Craigslist.

Kathy---Good to hear you had no real bad weather there. I know just what you mean about uncaring or

"fair weather friends". I, too, had to cut all ties with a few of my so-called friends. Sometimes those types

of friends behaviour is so aggravating & hurtful, but after all is said & done, I believe that we are surely

better off without these toxic 'vultures'. I don't miss my ex-'vultures' at all. Your daughter was right in

her assessment of them.

Krichie---Your Richie's ex-girlfriend's behaviour is so terrible. Hard to think that anyone would act that way.

Seems all she wants is the dirtbike.........more important to her that her little girl. Then.....putting wall coumpound

in electrical sockets........just stupid. I'm sorry that all this stuff has happened to you & your husband. You are

probably right that she still has the NASCAR collection. She is, indeed, a hateful person. So sorry.

Betsy------Your dream of Richie saying " it doesn't matter anymore, mom" is so very touching. I like to think that

my son could say the same thing. Because of a lot of life setbacks & frustrations, David had some unhappiness at

the time the truckdriver killed him in traffic. I guess we have to look at the "bigger picture' , and know that they

can see us and are close by, and that all the problems on earth do not matter to them anymore. They are free and

happy in heaven.

Susannah------Such sweet words from Mariah. She is no doubt expressing, in her innocent little way, her gratitude

that she & her brother and sister are now safe and in your loving care. Peace to you & your family.

Betty-----Sorry that your son had so many heartaches with the woman he loved. She must be trying to reach out to you

for some comfort now, and is no doubt dealing with grief. Ah.......what can we do??? Davey's girlfriend was jerking

him around before his death. She had a lot of problems, and he was trying to help her, but she was immature, and into

the drama games, it seems. We never heard one word......a card....call....never showed up at the wake.......nothing. I hate

to say this.....but I'm glad that he did not have a child with her......because it would probably have a lousy life. I guess

that sounds harsh, but it's how I feel. I've just resigned myself to saying ...."this is the way it is". How are your trip

plans coming along? I hope you have a great time. Oh.....the Gallery......I'm going to have to really

study up and get better at all this

Peace to all.

Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry

September 8, 2010

Oh yes - the fair weather friends - I think the worst part is that two of them are my sister-in-law and her husband !! We have been close for many years, done many things together - they held us up when we lost Jessica - so many memories and now for whatever reason they have decided that my so-called friends are now their friends !! I will give you one thing that happened and you can judge for yourselves as to whether I am being "crazy" or not. A week ago Sunday we took our camper down to Cedar Point, all of my so-called friends and sister-in-law were camping as well. They were all together in one area and me and 4 other camping friends were just up the hill from them. It was just Tavian and I for the first 3 days and nights as everyone in my area had to work..so Tavian and I spent our days with the "others" - it just did not feel right, as though we were intruding...one of them had went into town and was bringing pizza back for "everyone" but it was getting later and later and Tavian was hungry so I went to my camper to make him a sandwich - while I was gone the pizza arrived and when I came back everyone was eating pizza except for Tavian - he asked me for a piece and I told him after he ate his sandwich....when he was done I "asked" if Tavian could have a slice and my sister-in-law said "he can finish mine, I am done" - I just looked at her thinking "oh you did not just offer Tavian a half eaten piece of pizza " !! I said he does not like sausage and was then told "well, there is a whole plain pie right there if he wants a slice" (not said nicely) so I gave him a slice......After that Tavian and I went off by ourselves for the rest of the day.....I was so angry that those "grown-ups" could sit there and feed themselves and their kids pizza and would not give Tavian any. For the entore 3 days and nights none of them asked us to join them for lunch or dinner - they made their plans right in front of me so each night Tavian and I went to our camper and did our own thing.....Finally on Wednesday morning I could not take it anymore and I packed up and went home - have not heard from one of them since. So thank you for letting me vent - I have cried it out and now I have moved on - I say that I forgive them but I still am holding anger at them - not for me but for what they did to Tavian - I do not need nor do I want that kind of behavior around Tavian and I certainly do not need "stupid, selfish people in mine. Wow, I really needed to get that out -

Krichie - do you have your grandaughter every weekend ?? Where does she live ? I have missed many posting so forgive me for asking what you have most likely already said. Yes, karma will surely find its way to the "girlfriend" - I too would not forgive or forget what she has done.

I have thought for some time about what Greg had said about us "having one more day and what would I do" - there were so many things I could say but only one thing that I would do - "I GIVE MY LAST DAY TO TAVIAN".

Love, peace and strength to all. Have to say good night as tomorrow is Tavian's first day back to school and I know I will probably have a hard time getting him to bed...

September 8, 2010

Jasmine now has a pink, princess room. It still needs some finishing touches, but she loves it!. She chose the disney princess bedding set. I hung white sheers above her bed as a canopy. The pink is REAL pink. At first it looked like I a tank of pepto bismo exploded in her room. I softened it by sponging white on it....very pretty. However, the wall I painted white and sponged pink on is prettier...I think I'll retouch the other walls with pink sponge.

I don't blame you for being upset, Kathy. I would have been too. Don't mess with our little ones! :angry: How touching that you would give your last day to Tavian. Your love for him is so special.

I'm sorry you're having a rough time, Colleen. I guess it's up and down, isn't it?

One of Stephanie's best friend's husband was killed in a car accident last week. He was driving a semi. The driver of the other truck swerved into the "construction lane" and crossed over the median...he over corrected and his tuck flew, flipped and landed in the path of Randall's semi. Both driver's were killed. Very sad.

I hope those of you who are not getting sleep will be able to get some tonight!

Peace to all...

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

September 8, 2010

Summergirl- sorry camping trip ruined, you sure they did not invite you and just assumed you would know you were included? I really don't know what people think when they act like that in front of others. so sorry. How sweet to give your one more day to tav

I do get Shavelle every Friday night and usually bring her home late Saturday, sometimes I keep her till Sunday if I have that day off. Richie was dating the ex when they were on a break and him and Shavelles Mom H got togather long enough to concieve my angel then he went back to M. M is the witch.

Daveydow1--I know she has Nascars and they do mean alot but they are just material things just lots of memorys of the trips we took to get them and the birthdays ect when we gifted them to him

Again I will never forgive M no matter if she crawls to me. I have moved on all I want is for her to get bloodwork so she either gets the little ones social securty and has a shot at a decent life and away from us.

shorty16-- I hae a hard time most days realizing that life continues without him. Seeing kids his age doing what he should be doing, so Damn unfair. Most days I enjoy seeing kids get a hug from there parent other days it breaks my heart cause I can not hug my child. This time last year Richie was teaching Shavelle how to carve pumkins now I will have to do it with her and try not to cry.I remember apple picking with her and how she would pick a special one to bring home to daddy, not this year

Westleysmom- watching silly movies I could never do to keep my mind occupied. I ended up playing an online game my youngest son got me into because it requires me to think and react to stuff on my toes. Kind of wierd at my age to be playing video games but keeps my mind occupied. I still have not closed Richie's bank account or sent his other grandmother savingbonds she baught for him which are pod to her. I really need to at least do that and see if she would get them in Shavells name if possible.

Riolheiser-- Glad you have your daughter and her kids under your rough save and sound and I pray it will stay that way for ever. I just read a book about abusive relationships and now this was one of the hardest things your daughter has done so glad she had you in her corner always fighting for her.

Dee-- hope your body temps even out is this the dreaded menopause? I have missed alot of post. Hows the class and the kids. Do you all have fireld trips planned or not in school budget?

I know I missed some of you all in my post and sorry still playing catch up

prayers with you all as always

September 8, 2010

Good Eveniong Indigos

Betsy I love the new Avatar of young Rich. He is very handsome!!!

Susannah I AM SURE THAT BEDROOM LOOKS SO VERY WONDERFUL and it is obvious that Jasmine loves it I DO HOPE YoU CAN POST A PICTURE. SINCE STEPHEN'S PASSING, I ALWAYS RESPOND WITH SADNESS WHEN i HEAR ABOUT THE SUDDEN LOSS OF ANOTHER. I AM SORRY ABOUT YOUR FRIEND.

Sherry I understand how you feel about Davey's girlfriend. You area wise women I know you will get that album posted by the time I return.

Leah, Glad you, your grand children and daughter are recovering. Be gentle with yourself.

I am leaving tomorrow morning for Istanbul. By this time tomorrow I should be there and start my first real vacation in nearly 8 years. Thanks to you guys I have recovered enough of my spirit to attempt a special trip. It has been a long difficult journey, still feel a deep sadness but along side that is a peace and desire to live again. That is a gift of each of you sharing your heart.

Trudie, Dee, Carol, Colleen, Kathy, Krichie, Rhonda, Elaine and all Indigos please take care and know you are in my thoughts.

Will be thinking of you all while I am gone.

September 8, 2010

Kathy,

I read your post and I do agree with you. Was your hubby there? If that was your sister-in-law, was your brother there? I would have smacked um along side the head - that is just me.

What I find is that people cannot handle my pain. They do not want to be around me, just because I have lost a child. They hurt too much. Very selfish thing.

Tavian is lucky to have you and you are lucky to have a little piece of your daughter.

I am still a Grandma-wanna-be

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

September 8, 2010

I have thought for some time about what Greg had said about us "having one more day and what would I do" - there were so many things I could say but only one thing that I would do - "I GIVE MY LAST DAY TO TAVIAN".

Kathy,

I'm sorry about these folks and how insensitive they are! Was it a money issue with the pizza? Did they collect and you weren't around to contribute? Not that it should matter! It hurts and I'm really sorry!

We too have lost family since Jason left ........ I don't think I will ever understand!

I love that you would give your last day to Tavian ........

And I send you strength as you prepare to move. The very idea of your move when you've been there for so long touches my heart in a way I can't explain so I can only imagine what it's doing to yours.

Love!

September 8, 2010

Good Eveniong Indigos
I am leaving tomorrow morning for Istanbul. By this time tomorrow I should be there and start my first real vacation in nearly 8 years. Thanks to you guys I have recovered enough of my spirit to attempt a special trip. It has been a long difficult journey, still feel a deep sadness but along side that is a peace and desire to live again. That is a gift of each of you sharing your heart.
Will be thinking of you all while I am gone.

Have a wonderful safe trip! Can't wait to hear all about it!

Love!

September 8, 2010

HEY I FORGOT TO TELL YAL DO ANY OF YAL WATCH THE 16 AND PREGNANT SHOW????...IF SO OR IF NOT, THE LADY THAT MADE KOURTNEYS QUILT HER DAUGHTER BROOKE WILL BE ON THERE IN OCT...AND BROOKE IS PREGNANT BY CODY....(KINDA WEIRD SINCE MY SON KODY IS DATING A GIRL NAMED BROOKE)....ANYWAYS BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR IT...THEY LIKE US RACE TOO, SHE SAID SHE HOPED SHE DONT SEEM WHITE TRASHY CUZ THEY ARE JUST SIMPLE PPL AND RACE.....SHES A VERY SWEET LADY...HER NAME IS MISTY..AND HUBBYS NAME IS LARRY....WATCH IT

September 8, 2010

Betty, I only have a minute but PLEASE HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME, filled with beauty, adventure, good humans, stories to share, and a heart to mend a bit with the golden threads of your memories mixed with the new. Blessings Dear Friend.

Kath, I do hope that somehow, today offers up some grand news, some great energy. Miss talking more with everyone, but I am busy with class and we had open house last night.

September 8, 2010

Betty

Are you going to Istambul -- like out of the USA Istambul? WOW, that is great. I send prayers for a safe and happy times.

One more step is taking part in our "New" life

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

September 8, 2010

Betty- have a very safe and fun trip. Allow your self to enjoy the difrent scenes and culture- soak it up. I am jeoulous.

Dee -I miss you I hope you are back into the groove and enjoying the kids.

All you other BI's I hope you are getting thru the days and finding some joy and making new memories to share with our angels when we meet again.

Its thundering and lightning out so gonna log off- prayers to you all

September 8, 2010

KATHY THOSE PPL REALLY PISS ME OFF...MESSN WITH YAL LIKE THAT...LEAST TAVIAN KNOWS HOW TO SHARE AND IS THOUGHTFUL, HE GETS IT FROM YOUR SIDE OF THE FAMILY IT SEEMS....

BETTY HAVE A GREAT TIME ON YOUR WELL DESERVED TRIP...ISTANBUL...WOW...

I LEAVE FOR FLORIDA IN ABOUT 17 DAYS, ROAD TRIP JUST MONTY AND I THEN WE TAKE A SHIP TO BAHAMAS...I THOUGHT ID LAY OUT TODAY AND GET MY TAN BACK BUT NO ITS RAINING CATS AND DOGGIES...SO GUESS I WILL GET ARTIFICIAL SUN FROM MY TANNING BED....ALMOST PACKED I THINK EXCEPT FOR THE LAST MIN STUFF I WEAR AND USE...GOT A HOUSE SITTER DOG SITTER AND KODY SITTER ALL THE SAME GIRL...MONTYS CUZIN KARI, SHE WENT TO SCHOOL WITH KIMMY AND KOURTNEY....AS I SAID OUR FRIEND BUDDY SAID HED WATCH HIM BUT IN THE SAME BREATHE MENTIONED STRIPPERS...SOOOOO THATS NOT GONNA HAPPEN...

WELL GUESS I WILL CHECK IN LATER...WELL BLESS AND BE BLESSED

September 8, 2010

So last evening at our Open House, I gave my background, told my story of going to college late in life, teaching in a different district for 6 years before joining the staff at Lincoln, here where my kids also went, a school that I love. I told them that I have two kids, Jon who will be 29 in a week, and ERi who died at 19 in a bad accident. I looked at the parents in the eyes, kept my gaze steady, told them that I tell them this because Erica is apart of my everyday, just as their children are a part of them, that telling my students each year that I have a daughter that died is a way of letting them know that death happens sometimes to young folks and that we still go on, we take them with us, we love them forever. It lets children know that death is part of life, that the sadness and grief are all a part of the package adn that they can talk about it, they should know how to look someone in the eye and listen to a sad event and learn how to offer their hearts in situations such as mine. If we take th etime to teach abuout grief, chances are we will raise a crop of kids that open their arms and hearts to those who ache rather than what so many of us have encountered. I told them that I don't tell them about Erica to make them sad but of course it will have that effect, I tell them this because Eri is always a part of who I am as a human. It was met with good responses. Our country teaches us to be afraid of death, instead of understanding and accepting that death is what happens to each living thing. We need to quit scaring folks and teach them to reach out rather than hide when sadness comes.

Love to all,

dee

PS Menopause woman actually slept last night, waking in two hour intervals but sleeping well in between wakings.

September 8, 2010

Lorrie-------Forgot to tell you that I liked the song ...."Your Love is a Song'. Thanks

Kathy------Makes you wonder how some people can be so rude & unfeeling. I don't blame you for

packing up & going home.

Susannah----YAY!.......Jasmine has her PINK room. I bet she loves it.

Krichie----So nice you can have Shavelle on weekends. Thanks for explaining that her mom (H), is

the nice one, and M is the mom of the little baby boy. It would be good if she gets the test so that

the little guy will at least have some financial support. She must be a challenge to deal with. Peace to you.

Dee----That is good that you tell the children about ERi. I believe that many times children are 'sheltered'

against death and grief because adults think they cannot handle it, but with the right kind of dialog, and

the right amount of info, children seem to be able to handle it well enough, and if they learn some about

it, then it won't be so very confusing to them later on in their life. My little grandson, age 5, asked me whose

puzzle was in the box in the family room......I told him "it was your Uncle Davey's puzzle". He said "where is he?",

and I explained that he died. He said..."was he sick?" , and I said "no, he was in a wreck". He said "oh". That

was all. I just let it go at that, thinking that he may someday, later on, ask more, and then I will tell him more

about Davey. Kids are more perceptive than many people give them credit for. When Lisa died, my two older

kids (in elementary school at the time) were taken to the funeral home. We didn't want them to think that she

just mysteriously 'disappeared'. Explaining to your students that ERi is always with you and part of your life,

is a good thing to tell them also. Your students are lucky to have a teacher like you. My older daughter was 7

when Lisa K. died, and she had a sympathetic and compassionate teacher who understood Tammy. Mrs. M

told me that Tam would sit with a sad, sort of empty look on her face in class, and she told me that she could

not scold or reprimand Tam for that because she knew that she was in mourning for Lisa. Tam went on to the

next grade the following yr. but had to be held back.....she got too far behind.

Colleen----I believe that you said it best......that some people just don't like being around those who are grieving

because it "ruins their day". I know that there are people I know who must feel that way about me, but I don't

care......I am just as contented to keep to myself, and that's what I do. I'm not a hermit, but since Dave's death,

I am more solitary that I used to be. It seems to suit me that way anymore.

Betty-----Davey's relationship with that girl was in the early stages, so I think that although he had some natural

disappointment about it, that he was moving on. At least he was not deeply involved with her. I hope you have

a wonderful time on your trip, and will be hoping to hear all about it when you return. Have a safe & fun-filled time.

PEACE TO ALL.

Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry

September 9, 2010

Krichie - no there was no money issue - it was being paid for when the person arrived back at the site. No, my husband was not there and it is my sister-in-law and brother-in-law (my husband;s sister). And no I am positive Tavian and I were not invited as they all discussed who would be making what for dinner so that all was covered - one would bring the meat, another salad etc. - we were difinitely not included. I am not mad, just sad for people like that. Oh, by the way we got an invitation in the mail today for a suprise birthday party for the husband of one of the couples that were there....maybe I am the crazy one ... :blink:

I had 26 years with my Jessica, Tavian had 4 so he deserves the one last day and although I would cherish it he needs it more.....

Thank you all for your nice, sincere words - you lift my heart. Now I will tell you about my day today and this is worse then the camping trip !! My best friend, the one who has been by my side through every thing, the one I tell all too, the one person I have always counted on as she has me - well, tonight she stopped over and told me she was so upset as she was missing 200 dollars from her wallet and the last time she opened her wallet was when she was with me last Saturday - I had picked her up and we went to drop Tavian off at his friends house for a play date, I wanted to give him some money so I asked her if she could change a 50 for me, she took her wallet out and gave me 2 twentys and a ten and I gave her the 50. Then we went to one yard sale and then I took her home. So we searched my car thinking it may have fell out and got down between the seats, no luck. Then I suggested we take a ride to Tavian's friends house, maybe it had fell out and they found it or it was in the woods by their house - a long shot I know but worth a try. No luck so on the way home I just got this feeling and I looked at her and said "is there something you want to say to me" and she just looked at me so I said "do you think you dropped your money in my car and I found it and kept it" - she replied "I have to admit it has crossed my mind" - I stopped the car, looked her in the eye and said "I would never, ever steal money from you, if I had found 200 dollars in my car I would have called you right away knowing no one else had been in my car" She said "well, I don't want to think you would take it" !!!! I drove to my house and I looked her in the eye again and said "I did not take your money and as my friend you are the one who has to decide whether you believe me or not" - I got out of the car and walked away, she said good by to Barry and went home. I am so hurt and angry that I do not even know what to think, how could she possibly even consider that I would do such a thing ?? This is my closest friend, like a sister - I really do not have the words to explain how I feel right now. I pray that she finds her money or she remembers somewhere she went between Saturday and Tuesday that explains the loss of the money but no matter what I will never understand her thinking that way about me. Thanks for letting me vent once again - seems like all I have done these past 2 weeks - what the hell !!!!!!! Barry was so upset he wanted to call her but I would not let him....I need her to make her choice.

I will say good night and pray for some peace in my life - I am weary and my heart hurts but I have a husband who believes in me and Tavian - and I have all of you here, my true, sincere friends, I need no more.... Love, peace and strength....

September 9, 2010

Dee-Menopause Woman??? Do you have a cape (made of lightweight polyester for those pesky hot flashes)? I just have this vision of a Marvel comic, played in live action by Helen Mirren! Thanks for the laugh!

Susannah-I love pink bedrooms for little girls. Is the homework getting easier, or at least easier to get done?

Kathy-I am so sorry for all of your terrible experiences lately. I'm sure that hurt so badly that a friend would think something like that. I hope she comes to her senses and apologizes. It would be a shame to lose your friendship with her.

Sherry-I have been thinking a lot about what kind of person I am now. When you said that you were more of a loner now, I see that happening in me, although it hasn't really been long enough for me to know if that's going to be permanent. I have kind of detached myself from some people, the kind of people that make you talk all the time. Sometimes I just can't talk because I'm "caught in my thoughts." I'm not crying (well not always) but I just don't want to talk constantly anymore and that sometimes scares people. I guess what kind of person we become is the only thing we really are left with when something horrible happens. All we really have is a choice.

Peace to all tonight, sweet dreams (even Menopause Woman)

September 9, 2010

KATHY IM SORRY I HATE WHEN PPL ACCUSE YOU OF SOMETHING AND THERE IS NO WAY TO PROVE YOU DIDNT DO IT...HATE HATE HATE IT...IM SO SORRY...

September 9, 2010

Krichie - no there was no money issue - it was being paid for when the person arrived back at the site. No, my husband was not there and it is my sister-in-law and brother-in-law (my husband;s sister). And no I am positive Tavian and I were not invited as they all discussed who would be making what for dinner so that all was covered - one would bring the meat, another salad etc. - we were difinitely not included. I am not mad, just sad for people like that. Oh, by the way we got an invitation in the mail today for a suprise birthday party for the husband of one of the couples that were there....maybe I am the crazy one ...
I had 26 years with my Jessica, Tavian had 4 so he deserves the one last day and although I would cherish it he needs it more.....
Thank you all for your nice, sincere words - you lift my heart. Now I will tell you about my day today and this is worse then the camping trip !! My best friend, the one who has been by my side through every thing, the one I tell all too, the one person I have always counted on as she has me - well, tonight she stopped over and told me she was so upset as she was missing 200 dollars from her wallet and the last time she opened her wallet was when she was with me last Saturday - I had picked her up and we went to drop Tavian off at his friends house for a play date, I wanted to give him some money so I asked her if she could change a 50 for me, she took her wallet out and gave me 2 twentys and a ten and I gave her the 50. Then we went to one yard sale and then I took her home. So we searched my car thinking it may have fell out and got down between the seats, no luck. Then I suggested we take a ride to Tavian's friends house, maybe it had fell out and they found it or it was in the woods by their house - a long shot I know but worth a try. No luck so on the way home I just got this feeling and I looked at her and said "is there something you want to say to me" and she just looked at me so I said "do you think you dropped your money in my car and I found it and kept it" - she replied "I have to admit it has crossed my mind" - I stopped the car, looked her in the eye and said "I would never, ever steal money from you, if I had found 200 dollars in my car I would have called you right away knowing no one else had been in my car" She said "well, I don't want to think you would take it" !!!! I drove to my house and I looked her in the eye again and said "I did not take your money and as my friend you are the one who has to decide whether you believe me or not" - I got out of the car and walked away, she said good by to Barry and went home. I am so hurt and angry that I do not even know what to think, how could she possibly even consider that I would do such a thing ?? This is my closest friend, like a sister - I really do not have the words to explain how I feel right now. I pray that she finds her money or she remembers somewhere she went between Saturday and Tuesday that explains the loss of the money but no matter what I will never understand her thinking that way about me. Thanks for letting me vent once again - seems like all I have done these past 2 weeks - what the hell !!!!!!! Barry was so upset he wanted to call her but I would not let him....I need her to make her choice.
I will say good night and pray for some peace in my life - I am weary and my heart hurts but I have a husband who believes in me and Tavian - and I have all of you here, my true, sincere friends, I need no more.... Love, peace and strength....

300FBFBE-F008-DC26-1BB5-765664DD600C1.02.28

September 9, 2010

Krichie - no there was no money issue - it was being paid for when the person arrived back at the site. No, my husband was not there and it is my sister-in-law and brother-in-law (my husband;s sister). And no I am positive Tavian and I were not invited as they all discussed who would be making what for dinner so that all was covered - one would bring the meat, another salad etc. - we were difinitely not included. I am not mad, just sad for people like that. Oh, by the way we got an invitation in the mail today for a suprise birthday party for the husband of one of the couples that were there....maybe I am the crazy one ...
I had 26 years with my Jessica, Tavian had 4 so he deserves the one last day and although I would cherish it he needs it more.....
Thank you all for your nice, sincere words - you lift my heart. Now I will tell you about my day today and this is worse then the camping trip !! My best friend, the one who has been by my side through every thing, the one I tell all too, the one person I have always counted on as she has me - well, tonight she stopped over and told me she was so upset as she was missing 200 dollars from her wallet and the last time she opened her wallet was when she was with me last Saturday - I had picked her up and we went to drop Tavian off at his friends house for a play date, I wanted to give him some money so I asked her if she could change a 50 for me, she took her wallet out and gave me 2 twentys and a ten and I gave her the 50. Then we went to one yard sale and then I took her home. So we searched my car thinking it may have fell out and got down between the seats, no luck. Then I suggested we take a ride to Tavian's friends house, maybe it had fell out and they found it or it was in the woods by their house - a long shot I know but worth a try. No luck so on the way home I just got this feeling and I looked at her and said "is there something you want to say to me" and she just looked at me so I said "do you think you dropped your money in my car and I found it and kept it" - she replied "I have to admit it has crossed my mind" - I stopped the car, looked her in the eye and said "I would never, ever steal money from you, if I had found 200 dollars in my car I would have called you right away knowing no one else had been in my car" She said "well, I don't want to think you would take it" !!!! I drove to my house and I looked her in the eye again and said "I did not take your money and as my friend you are the one who has to decide whether you believe me or not" - I got out of the car and walked away, she said good by to Barry and went home. I am so hurt and angry that I do not even know what to think, how could she possibly even consider that I would do such a thing ?? This is my closest friend, like a sister - I really do not have the words to explain how I feel right now. I pray that she finds her money or she remembers somewhere she went between Saturday and Tuesday that explains the loss of the money but no matter what I will never understand her thinking that way about me. Thanks for letting me vent once again - seems like all I have done these past 2 weeks - what the hell !!!!!!! Barry was so upset he wanted to call her but I would not let him....I need her to make her choice.
I will say good night and pray for some peace in my life - I am weary and my heart hurts but I have a husband who believes in me and Tavian - and I have all of you here, my true, sincere friends, I need no more.... Love, peace and strength....

300FBFBE-F008-DC26-1BB5-765664DD600C1.02.28

September 9, 2010

Krichie - no there was no money issue - it was being paid for when the person arrived back at the site. No, my husband was not there and it is my sister-in-law and brother-in-law (my husband;s sister). And no I am positive Tavian and I were not invited as they all discussed who would be making what for dinner so that all was covered - one would bring the meat, another salad etc. - we were difinitely not included. I am not mad, just sad for people like that. Oh, by the way we got an invitation in the mail today for a suprise birthday party for the husband of one of the couples that were there....maybe I am the crazy one ...
I had 26 years with my Jessica, Tavian had 4 so he deserves the one last day and although I would cherish it he needs it more.....
Thank you all for your nice, sincere words - you lift my heart. Now I will tell you about my day today and this is worse then the camping trip !! My best friend, the one who has been by my side through every thing, the one I tell all too, the one person I have always counted on as she has me - well, tonight she stopped over and told me she was so upset as she was missing 200 dollars from her wallet and the last time she opened her wallet was when she was with me last Saturday - I had picked her up and we went to drop Tavian off at his friends house for a play date, I wanted to give him some money so I asked her if she could change a 50 for me, she took her wallet out and gave me 2 twentys and a ten and I gave her the 50. Then we went to one yard sale and then I took her home. So we searched my car thinking it may have fell out and got down between the seats, no luck. Then I suggested we take a ride to Tavian's friends house, maybe it had fell out and they found it or it was in the woods by their house - a long shot I know but worth a try. No luck so on the way home I just got this feeling and I looked at her and said "is there something you want to say to me" and she just looked at me so I said "do you think you dropped your money in my car and I found it and kept it" - she replied "I have to admit it has crossed my mind" - I stopped the car, looked her in the eye and said "I would never, ever steal money from you, if I had found 200 dollars in my car I would have called you right away knowing no one else had been in my car" She said "well, I don't want to think you would take it" !!!! I drove to my house and I looked her in the eye again and said "I did not take your money and as my friend you are the one who has to decide whether you believe me or not" - I got out of the car and walked away, she said good by to Barry and went home. I am so hurt and angry that I do not even know what to think, how could she possibly even consider that I would do such a thing ?? This is my closest friend, like a sister - I really do not have the words to explain how I feel right now. I pray that she finds her money or she remembers somewhere she went between Saturday and Tuesday that explains the loss of the money but no matter what I will never understand her thinking that way about me. Thanks for letting me vent once again - seems like all I have done these past 2 weeks - what the hell !!!!!!! Barry was so upset he wanted to call her but I would not let him....I need her to make her choice.
I will say good night and pray for some peace in my life - I am weary and my heart hurts but I have a husband who believes in me and Tavian - and I have all of you here, my true, sincere friends, I need no more.... Love, peace and strength....

Kathy,

You must feel like you're in The Twilight Zone! I'm really sorry this is happening to you.

Are you going to the party? That might be a little awkward! Did you ever consider asking them what's going on? Why you and Tavian are being treated so shabby? I would have to ask ..... and then depending on the answer, I would probably walk away.

I think being rude to Tavian would have been almost more than I could take ....... an innocent child who probably didn't even pick up on the rudeness. They could stick that pizza where the sun doesn't shine!!

Your friend ...... whew! She might as well have accused you the way you described how that went down. Were you ever alone with her purse? How do you lose 200.00? Interesting amount too .......

She gave you change for a fifty. So, she knew you had money.

I hope she discovers what happened to her money also ..... and then she gets down on her knees and begs forgiveness. I can understand her calling you and asking if you would check your car or if you remembered anything but ......

I'm sorry sweetie! You don't deserve this!

Bonnie

300FBFBE-F008-DC26-1BB5-765664DD600C1.02.28

September 9, 2010

Hey All,

Wow Kathy, it has been too many things in a row for you and I am sorry. Things should smooth out as you guys have had your fill. I don't understand the mean spirited folks, why they would not have offered Tav pizza while everyone else was enjoying it.Too bad for the lesson that they just taught all of their kids and Tavian. And really too bad for the hurt feelings for you and Tav. As far as the party for the husband of that woman, I might package up and wrap beautifully, a half-eaten piece of pizza, but that is because I can be MEAN.

Your friend? She has some humble pie to eat it sounds like. And you have some thinking to do as well. I don't believe that because our oldest friends have been there for so long, that we don't sometimes still need to move on without them. I know that your heart is broken from what she said, but if you just don't want to keep up with her for a while, that seems perfectly understandable. On the other hand, if you feel you can forgive her and she apologizes, well, it will be a very personal decision. I wish you clarity.

Krichie, Yes, I should have a friggin cape. It would be fur lined or down, because I am so friggin hot most the time. Today however, better adn that has everything to do with a couple more hours of sleep. I still wake often, but last night was able to sleepwithout too much trouble after waking. Some nights, I wake and that is it, I am wide awake but tired, for a while and then go back to sleep and do it all over again. ICK!

So I am going to bed and sleep I am going to hope for great sleep.

One week from today, My little Bruiser, Jonathan will have his 29th birthday. Wow, so fast those years, so quick.

September 9, 2010

Kathy: just want to add my two cents, along with the others...you have just been run over with stupid, senseless "stuff" that can make life hell.....the crappola at the beach...unacceptable...been there, experienced that...wish I had been older, I would have plenty to say now...the friend...oh, man. I can understand someone being upset that maybe thought you didn't look hard enough for it (in their opinion) or something like that, but after years of sister-type friendship, to actually accuse you, just beneath any sense of love or friendship. I too pray that she finds her money, but as Dee said, you have some thinking to do...hurts that go that deep are tough to manage. I hope that Tavian was not noticing how the people at the beach were behaving. As for the party...hmmm...maybe not, but that, too, has to be your careful decision.

Dee: You have had a very busy, tiring first week back at school...I hope you are able to relax and rest this upcoming weekend...some warm sun and a good book on your back porch... Oh, I do remember those "hot flashes" nights well...sheets on, sheets off, fan on, fan off. Poor husband, buried under the covers to try to keep away from the lights, the fan, etc. I had a fan at my desk at work. Never a night that I cooked dinner that I didn't have to go out on the porch in the dead of winter, 0 degrees or 30, didn't matter, and stand there in my shirtsleeves, "cooling down." Blessed years of freedom from it, and now involved in it again. I think one of my medicines (blood pressure, maybe) keeps me "in the oven" all over again....thankfully, though I don't sweat at night, just every time I try to do something during the day! lol!

Sherry: I too have thought about the "new" person I am...and I am different in many ways. I used to love to chat on the phone, but no longer---and those I used to chat with just don't understand it. I can "talk" on the computer, and here, of course, but the phone...not so much. Like you, I am not a hermit, but I am more solitary than before, except for my kids and their kids.

Lorri: I am glad that you got a "Kody-cat-house-sitter," all in one! You are lucky to have her. I hope you and hubby have a good time...sounds like you have a good trip planned.

Colleen: "The changes of the season always remind me that the world is still turning without Brian. It is times like these that make me sad. Knowing the world is still turning and my Brian is not part of it." Sometimes, when I am out somewhere and see something that used to be a part of Mike's life...a store he liked, a street he walked on, a park he played ball in, I think of the "still turning and [Mike] is not a part of it"...I think "how dare it continue in the same manner when our world is so different; Mike is not here in it any longer." I am sending hugs to you, dear friend, as you are missing your Brian, so very much, and we all understand...may you find peaceful memories weaving their way through your heart to comfort you, as the warmer days of summer move their way to another part of the world, and we watch autumn being painted into our surroundings.

Betsy: I hope that one day you will be able to listen to that CD of music that Rich loved so...as hard as it will be, I believe that you will hear his smile as you press "play," but he knows that you have to do it in your own time. Since the day Cathi sang, at Mike's request, "Will You Remember Me?" at his memorial service, it took a long while before I could listen to it again...I finally did, and though it brought tears, it wove its way into my heart as something he wanted to share with us, and while it still makes me tear up, I am finally able to think of it as an honor and comfort to listen to it. You will, in your own time, find this release to allow the music Rich loved to surround you once again, and comfort your heart.

Rhonda: I am sorry that you are looking at so much time ahead being alone...I hope you are able to find something that will hold your interest...a good book? journaling? Sometimes it's just hard to begin anything when we are faced with alone time. " I can't clean his room or sell his car or close his bank account because I don't want to let him go." We all identify with these sentiments...you will do these things, eventually, or not...in your own time. Nothing is written in concrete about how to travel this journey.

Betty: Hope you are having a wonderful, intriguing time in Istanbul!

Trudi: Thinking of you, as your days warm up, slowly, and the sun stays out longer.

Bonnie: I know you are busy with Pinnacle Days preparation...praying for good weather for you and all those who attend. Wish I could be there!

Leah: I hope that you and your daughter and grandies are staying safe.

Krichie: I am glad that you have that sweet memory of that "date" with Rich to see Garth Brooks---I can just imagine his face! I went on such a "date" with Mike, to see Paula Abdul...he loved her at the time, but just a couple of years later, he was embarrassed to admit to it...though I did notice in his boxes of things that he still had the program and the t-shirt he got that night, along with the tickets!

Susannah: I LOVE the thought of Mariah's (or was it Jasime; I can't find your post just now) pink room...she must feel as though she is in a world of her own...how wonderful of you to do this for her! When Cathi was just 4, she was "in love" with Winnie the Pooh. This was at a time when "character themed" furnishings, etc., were hardly heard of...we painted the room dark red and cream, I made curtains out of Pooh sheets, found a Pooh rug for beside her bed, and decorated the walls with a miniature stuffed Pooh and some of his friends---she slept in her sister's room while we worked on it for a week. We finished one night at 3 AM. We wanted her to wake up in it, so carried her to her bed, still sleeping. She was in seventh heaven when she woke up...it was worth every ache we had, every moment spent creating it.!

To all who worry about "catching up..." please don't (worry about it, that is). We all know that most of those here have busy, busy lives, some still with children at home, some raising grandkids, most holding down jobs, daily and nightly demands on your time...all overshadowed by the grieving and pain of having a major piece of your heart missing...and we all are just appreciative that you each take the time to stop in and let us hear from you, offering each other comfort when we can...sharing some joy when it comes by us, asking for comfort when it is needed and being thankful for the support and understanding given and received. Some of us have more time than others, like myself, and when I post, I usually do it in the wee hours of the morning, when I am alone, without interruptions. Sleep alludes me often, and if I can't sleep at night, the sleeplessness can be occupied with connecting with all of you...my very dear friends, here on BI. And, I know that I can maybe catch a nap in the morning or afternoon sometime....or not.

Cathi and I went to a ballgame tonight...and though concern did accompany me, it was the first evening I have felt comfortable leaving hubby alone. Cathi and I had a really good time...it was really good to just be away from the house for a few hours, with someone I love and have fun with and who "gets it.". Didn't expect much from the game, as they have not been doing well, but tonight was an exceptionally great game that we won, against a strong opponent. We unexpectedly got some terrific seats and were just two rows back from the field. I thank Mike for this passionate gift, this love of the game, and all the memories of it shared with him that he left in my heart. I am thankful that Cathi fell into this passionate pit also...it is so fun to share this with her. Mike was always trying to sway her to baseball, but she was a football girl...said watching baseball was like watching paint dry! I know that he is smiling on her as she stands up and screams and claps when her baseball team does something good!

We get our new sofa and chair this Saturday....finally! It has been on order since July 4th. My recliner is broken and just about every day, another little piece of wood will break off from the underside and fall to the floor! It has lasted just long enough...

We have a mouse in the house...thank heavens it seems to be staying in the cabinet in the mostly unused second bathroom...the first mouse I've had to deal with in many years...the people at the hardware store said this is the time they come inside, looking for warmth on the cooler nights...I would put a heater outside for it if I knew it would keep it out of here! We put food on the trap night before last...in the morning the food was gone, trap still set. Last night, we put peanut butter, gooey, wound around the wires. This morning every last bit, gone...trap still set!!! Cathi suggested I "borrow" one of her cats for a bit...allergies prevent me from doing that...we've installed an electronic "pest" chaser...do they actually work? Any suggestions?

Take care all...have a good day at whatever you are doing... love and peace, Carol mikesmomrs

September 9, 2010

Betty - I have probably missed you but I am so pleased that you found the strength and courage to take that step and make the trip. Istanbul...wow!! Safe travels, will wait to here your stories when you return.

Kathy - Someone opened a can of stupid dumb ass near you and the fumes overcame so many!? One thing this journey has shown me is how far and fast a friend can turn. I know 'we' make people uncomfortable, but shite!!! I did have one friend, like you people thought we were sisters we were so close. She was my trainer at work, introduced me to Mal and lived in the town I moved to. When Mike died she wanted 'to be there', but on her terms. I wanted so much hear the 000 (911)call for a number of reasons. She had access so she listened to it 3 days before the funeral. She rang me to tell me what she thought of the call. I couldn't believe she had done that. When the company denied my claim for PTSD based on working that day, she said she could see things from their prospective. The final straw came when she sent me an email beratting me for being a 'poor friend'. I hadn't returned her calls or sms. When she needed a friend I wasn't there. Her problem, her daughter was dating 'another' loser. Silly me I thought dead son won over idiot daughter. I have only seen her once since then, she moved out of town. She stopped and spoke to Mal. I was invisible. Funny, dont really notice she isn't around. I can only hope Tavian didn't feel the 'chill'.

Dee - I love the way you incorporate into your students lives, life lessons that have been missed. I would love to be in your classroom to listen to your words, watch the faces of the lives your are shaping.

Carol - You forgot to tell me, did the SOX win? I love that Cathi has come around to baseball. Never had that problem with Melissa, she followed her mum in supporting Collingwood in AFL. Mike on the other hand followed our arch enemies, Carlton!

As Carol says, to all those who are worried they have missed responding to all, please don't. Like most here, I read the posts, might not respond but take on board the stories. So many are similar in so many ways, not just the loss but the continual fallout.

We had a tiny victory here today. After trying to contact the builder of this house to address some 'shoddy' building success was ours. It took the Building Commission to track him and arrange a mediation here. They bought an independant Inspector to review the areas of concern. Short version. The problems will be rectified within 28 days!!!

From the land down under where the sun has been shining for two days.....

September 9, 2010

LOVE the CAN OF STUPID DUMBASS! Perhaps we could not only write a book of stupidity from others, but our responses like that one Trudi, a classic. I will have to borrow it if you don't mind. Glad that the contractor was brought to his knees in owning his mistakes. Happens so seldomly. Trud, I tell each group, each year about Erz, let them know why, this year is the first that I did not tell that a train hit her car. I do feel strongly that if a family is going to understand and know me, they should know the important milestones in my life, including the saddest one, just as I should know more and more about the students lives.

Carol, nice that you were able to let loose a bit last night with Cathi, and that the team was able to play well. You have had one long summer Girl, so I wish you a very sweet Autumn. I started school while you were in the midst of your last hospital visit, this is our third week already, we began way too early for my liking. It was 98 or so degrees for 9 days straight in that classroom, we are blissfully happy in the temps this week however, a nice 53 when i went out for my walk going up to only 72. Perfection! And still the classroom gets hot but not like before thankfully.

Leah, how goes it?

Bonnie, busy I bet.

September 9, 2010

Good morning, Indigo's.

I woke quite early this morning with a voice in my head telling me to get up and do the dishes. I finally succumbed and washed the dishes that have piled in the sink for the last two days. Pretty gross! When I get caught up in a project, like Jasmine's room, all else (except for the kid's needs) gets set aside. Yesterday I took all three kids to Mernards to pick out wall decalls for their rooms. I spent WAY to much money (charged it)... I got caught up in the moment. I also bought about a hundred (slight exaggeration) rope lights. They were on sell, and it sounded like a good idea in my head, so I bought several boxes. I must remember that the voice inside my head is not my friend!

My friend that died last year used to always say, "I can't fix what's in my head with what's in my head." I do have a clean kitchen, now, though. I shut off the automatic timer on the sprinkler system so I could run the dish washer with full water pressure. I don't know how to turn it back on. I thought I knew, but I don't. I can see my son's face and hear his voice as he shows me, again, how to use it. Kind of funny to watch my adult son feel frustrated with his mother and try to hide it.

Carol - I'm so glad you got to get out with Cathi for the game!

Kathy - Gosh, I don't know what to say! There seems to be so much being thrown at you from so many different directions all at once. I wonder if it's God's (or the universe's) way of lining everything up for your move. Making room for new friends. A few years ago, when we found out ex son in law's girlfriend, the actual perpetrator, was accusing us of molesting my grandchildren....and I felt like I was being taken advantage of by so many "friends", I complained to God as I drove down the street about how I'm being falsly accused and persecuted and my friends and family is taking advantage of me" the answer - that voice in my head, said, "tell me about it." I'm assuming it was a humorous response from Jesus. No sympathy from him that day... I wish I had the self esteem and confidence you displayed to your friend. You put it right back on her shoulders, where it belongs. I didn't do that. I tried to defend myself and prove myself "worthy" of their trust and loyalty. It took getting knocked down a few more times before I had the strength to walk away, as you did. Eventually, unfortunately, the proof of what the children were living through was manifested and the ex son in law's girlfriend was indicted. The children paid a high price for my innocence to be proven. I don't celebrate that. But, I was vindicated.

You are a good, strong, loving woman, Kathy. I admire the hell out of you! Doors seem to be closing around you. It is my opinion that is happening because new doors, bigger and better doors, will be open. Perhaps you would not be able to see the new doors clearly if the old doors were still open. Just my opinion. Oh....one thing that was said to me by a friend who remains a dear friend was, "sometimes the lesson isn't yours to learn. Sometimes the lesson is for the other person and you are just being used to teach it because God can trust you with it."

Speaking of God......have you heard that Stephen Hawking, considered one of the most intelligent men in the world, claims there is no God? I'm not buying it. What else is God but love? Love definitely exists!

Someone asked if math was becoming easier for Jasmine. No. :blink: :lol:

The words to the song by Bette Midler has been going through my mind a lot lately. "From a distance, you look like my friend, even though we are at war." From a distance...........I sat outside this morning and looked at the stars....such a clear sky. I was overwhelmed with the enormity of it all. Asteroids flying around....more stars than I can comprehend....vast, powerful. As I sat there in awe of the magnificance of creation, I was acutely aware of the breath flowing easily in and out of my lungs. No pain. Peace. I said Stephanie's name out loud and felt a tad bit of guilt for feeling so at peace with life. I almost forced myself to feel the pain, somehow thinking I honor her by hurting. How ironic is that? I had to smile at my own childishness as I felt my love for her and her love for me fill my "space" with complete acceptance. If only for a moment, I trusted that all is exactly as it's supposed to be. From a distance....

Love and peace to you all this morning!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

September 9, 2010

Trudi -

Love your words! You make me smile even when I don't know that I have one in me! I seriously reel at the NERVE of some folks! How can you just be so mean to others? And so bold? I'll never understand! But I especially will never understand folks who don't know how to treat a child ......

Dee,

You are so eloquent with your words, even when if you read between the lines you've opened your own can of whoop ass! Wrap up a half eaten piece of pizza! Love it!! Maybe we should get together and pay Kathy's "friends" a little visit! I'll be Quido ....... :angry:

Pinnacle Days will be here before you know it ...... the excitement is really building! I read one long range weather forecast that said 60% chance of scattered thunderstorms on Friday and 30% chance of scattered showers on Saturday ........ GRRRRR!!!

Then I went to Accuweather and the long range forecast predict both days to be sunny and beautiful ........ so, we're choosing to follow Accuweather's forecast!

We heard last night that Emily, our foster daughter is finally back home full time. I don't know if this is good or bad. She dropped by on Sunday and she didn't want to go home yet. But, it was the decision of the courts. She was scheduled to go home in July when she left our home and it's just now happening. Her Mom would not allow her back in our home again.

We had a call about a 16 year old boy. His mom is "throwing her hands up" and signing away her parental rights. She has a history of substance abuse and the child has been in and out of foster care. He is doing community service because he went out with a friend one night and has an "underage drinking" charge. He also has a truancy issue. They are homeless ...... I wonder if that has anything to do with his problems? You don't know where you're going to sleep at night or where your next meal is coming from ...... and what about school supplies, clean clothes, lunch, etc .......

I pray for this young man and we haven't even met him. My heart tells me that we can make a difference and I'm blessed with a partner that is reluctant but agreeable. He knows I wrap my heart around these kids and they may get on my last nerve but I still have their best interests in mind.

Carol, your little mouse sounds like he has a high IQ! :rolleyes: I also have a rat in my house. I'm a "pack" rat apparently. I've been organizing the basement. Rich wants and deserves a "man cave". The basement has been more like an attic since we moved in. Not at all functional with all the unpacked boxes and other "stuff" down there. We've had two yard sales and I've taken two very full car ( Subaru Outback) loads of stuff to donation drop offs. I should be ashamed!

But you know, it's actually been a little hard for me to part with stuff. I don't know why. If you've had stuff in boxes and most of what you unpack, you don't even remember that you had it, what good is it?

So, I'm closing my eyes and donating! It makes me feel better that I'm donating to the animal welfare league and the local hospice thrift centers.

Well, I need to get this day going ......

Bye for now!

Love!

300FBFBE-F008-DC26-1BB5-765664DD600C1.02.28

September 9, 2010

Good Morning Indigos

Kathy - Soooo sorry for your friends behavior. I have missplaced money before, but I never would blame my friend - it is always me or my husband "steals" from me. We know what kind of person you are, we talk to you almost every day - Keep the faith - honey - I send you a virtual hug

Susannah - your posts are like poems. I love your writing - you and Dee should get together and write a book - I am sure you would have an instant-fan-club in BI. I really love reading your comments from our Saviour. Good stuff.

Bonnie - Thinking of you today and praying the weather will hold out for Pinnacle Days. We are going to the Badger game Saturday and it is suppose to rain. Scott, Aaron, Trever, and me are going. Badger games are soooo fun.

Trudi - It is Something how your friend compares problems with her adult daughter to your sons death. When I hear people complain about their kids, I say in my head "At least you still have them!!!" I swear I am going to try to call you this weekend. I seem to be dislexic and have 2 phone number for you. Please PM me the correct one - I figured out my service now (DAH)

Betsy - You are so brave and I am so happy for you and your vacation. I cannot wait to see the pictures and hear about the fun you had.

Sherry - I too have become some-what of a home-body. Scott and I do try to get out for a drive if we have no plans for the weekend. I enjoy my own company and the company of my kids and husband.

Dee - I bet your students come back to you and say "You were the teacher I remember the most - I liked you the best and learned the most from you." You are doing BOTH the kids and the parents a great service. I KNOW THE LOOKS - of horror on their faces when they hear you have lost a child. They look how I feel sometimes. I still can not get past those looks. You are amazing

Carol - Thanks for keeping us aware of what you are up to. You sure are a baseball fan. Scott has asked me serveral times to go to a Brewers game and I am just not interested - FOOTBALL is my game - tight pants, hard hitting what more could you ask for!!!!

Lorri, Eliane, Betty, Marcia, Leah, and all my friends. What would I do without you - I would be in a straight jacket. Thanks for being here for me and everyone

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

September 9, 2010

WANTED TO FINALLY POST A PIC OF THE DONATIONS PLAQUE...IM SLOW BUT IM OLD....LOL

September 9, 2010

Yep my tolerance to stupid people is minimal at best. I used to go with the 'they don't know any better' but now <_< Had lunch with Melissa yesterday. She does a class called 'Foxy Boxing'. Its areobic kickboxing! She says it really helps release the frustration. I guess kicking the **** out of an inanimate object would work. She is stressed out of her mind at the minute. Working agency (nursing), running a home and raising my grandbabies is full on. She isn't able to wear her engagement ring to work so she puts it in the box for safe keeping. Her other half thought he would put it 'somewhere safe' for her. Its sooooooo safe, no one can find it..... :unsure:

Bonnie - Oh yes, you do wrap your heart around these kids and shower them with sunshine that is lost from their world. You can see it in Jays pictures, I saw it in MN. Hope this young man is one that needs to see the otherside of 'family'. I vote for the sunshine forecast too!

Colleen - How goes Trevor? I hope he and Aaron are still enjoying being housemates. As for the phone number will PM you with them shortly.

Heres's one for the YA GOTTA BE KIDDING! I have an application in to rent a beach house. A place where I can just be, close to where I need to be. Since the last place I rented was a room in the nurses quaters where I trained back in 1972 I don't have 'rental references'. I haven't worked in just under 4yrs, so my work references aren't valid. My character references, well lets just say leaving work and losing a child kinda alienated me from those who might otherwise provide them. So, even though I have owned my own homes, rented out a property and still have this house I'm sitting in, the owner needs time to 'think about my application'.

"Welcom KMart shoppers Today we have an amazing special! Stupid dumbass, whoop ass, and you gotta be kidding, 3 for a dollar with a coupon"

Ciao Bella!

September 9, 2010

Rhonda---I like what you said...."the kind of person we become is all we really have left". How true.

Dee---I can sympathize with you about the hot flashes. Thankfully I am past that crap now. Remember

putting down the car window in the dead of winter because of these dreadful things. Hoping you get

some relief.

Carol---So nice that you & Cathi were able to go to the baseball game together. Glad that you could listen

to the song Cathi sang for Mike. I have a CD that Davey burned for me.....Santana. There's a song on it

about being knocked "Sideways".......to this day I cannot listen to it again.....too sad. (I feel like I've been

knocked 'Sideways' losing Davey, and there's no way to straighten it out.) I know you and all Indigoes know

what I mean. I am quite contented keeping to myself anymore. Maybe I always had a bent in that direction,

but I don't like being in the company of people who act ignorant.......just too painful anymore, and not worth

the effort. I know I sound antisocial , but that's how I feel. Just not worth it. A MOUSE in the house. Man, I

can't think how that mouse got the peanut butter off the trap without setting it off. I had a mouse problem

once, and was remarking about it to co-workers......they said "you need a cat".....I said "I have a cat".....they

said "well...what about it ?"......I said "she's afraid of mice" . Definitely not a predator.....she's old & lazy--

always has been. I , too, hate getting rid of anything connected to Davey. As you say,.....it's hard to let them

go, and I don't think I ever will. There's still $50. in David's wallet that he was going to use to get his dad a

Father's Day present the day he got killed. Can't seem to do anything with that----even to donate it to charity.

It has a lot to do with not wanting to 'let him go'. I know you know what I mean....with Mike's things. Peace, friend.

Kathy----So sorry that your 'friend' accused you of taking her $200. As someone said....sometimes it seems a friend

can turn on you, and it is shocking, dismaying, and so very hurtful. As far as the party goes......I would NOT be there.

(that's just me). I do hope things will turn out ok for you. These people have been treating you poorly, to say the least,

and I am sorry you have had these painful experiences with people whom you trusted who turned out to be HEELS,

in my opinion.

Trudi---Yes, you would think that a beloved son who died would be a more troubling, sorrowful thing than a daughter

who is dating a dumb loser. People just get so wrapped up in themselves, they just don't care. As I said before.....I steer

clear of them......just not worth the trouble & pain. Sorry if I sound like such a grouch.

Bonnie----Sending prayers for the poor 16 yr.-old boy.

Colleen----A homebody.....that's just how I feel. I guess we feel safer that way.....from people's dumb, jerky, and selfish

behaviour. Who wants to deal with it. ? I still remember a stupid remark a woman (friend?) made when my baby, Lisa,

died. She had a baby boy not much older than my 6 mo. old Lisa. She said "all I could think of when I looked in that little

casket was my baby....I am sooo relieved" . That was so dumb for her to say. We eventually drifted apart, but I will

always remember that remark.

PEACE & COMFORT TO ALL IN THE BI FAMILY.

Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry

September 10, 2010

Dee-I think Menopause Woman should take care of all the stupid dumbass, whoop ass and you gotta be kidding people running loose on the planet, pronto. It's getting entirely out of hand and something must be done!

Sherry-You are right, that was undoubtedly the most insensitive remark anyone could have made to you when your Lisa died. Somebody said that you never forget how someone made you feel, and I'm sure that's why you drifted apart.

Lorri-The donation plaque is nice. Do you have special events for giving away clothes, or is it all the time? I think I have it right, you provide clothes to teenagers that need them? Sorry if I have it wrong.

Trudi-Really amazing that they have to think about it. I hope you meet with their approval! We could give you a big thumbs up, but they probably couldn't see it from there!

Colleen-I'm with you on Football (yay) and Neil Young (not so much). Did you ever get the basement all dried out?

Carol-Is Cathi feeling much much better now? I hope since she got to go the game with you that means she's all better. Give Ralph a big hug for me.

Susannah-Is Amanda's surgery still on for next month, I think? I hope I don't have it confused, which isn't hard for me these days. You may not even know anybody named Amanda, but I'm not sure how to check. I just thought I'd seen something about it back in the summer and hadn't seen much lately.

I hope things are going well for everybody and we're all getting a little cooler weather, (except for Trudi) I'm still having the really tired, weary feeling a lot and going to bed as soon as I get a chance, but I think rest is good for me right now. My girl's birthday is today, she's 25. They're still gone out of town, but will be back tomorrow. I'll be glad to see them and my grandbaby has been asking to come to Nana & Papa's since they got there! I miss that sweetheart when I can't see her. There is still good, isn't there? There's still happy days and birthdays and little girls who want pink bedrooms and little boys who want to fish. All of the light isn't gone out of the world, it just sometimes is hard to see it. We have to help each other see the light that is left and feel the warmth of it.

Good night my good friends, and sweet dreams of the world when we'll be with all of those we love

September 10, 2010

Rhonda, I am going to fly over the afflicted, (those with chronic dumb-assness) and kick some sorry asses into shape. Once I get done with the idiots who speak when they really never should without first trying their sentences out in the mirror on themselves, they will crawl to us all and beg, BEG for forgiveness for having been self-absorbed ASSES!

Oh was that a dream? What is this cape I am wearing, hu?

It says MEN-O-PAUSE WOMAN on it. Embroidered into the fabric. The cape gives me the power of course, to fly, and when I do, the areas below suffer great heat, even in the Trudi-land-downunder.

"It's a bird, no a plane... no, run, it's a big sweating woman in her mid-fifties."

"RUN AWAY..."

Bonnie, I can see your heart at work, and i understand Rich wondering, oh boy can we lay open our hearts to this young boy who has lost so much? I agree with Trudi, it is what is in you that can linger in a young ones life, in thier spirit, to help un-knot all the tangled stories they have lived. Prayers for it all to work the way it is supposed to. And yes, it will be sunny this weekend.

Trud, do you want Quido and me to fly by and kick some Australian Butt? I am a chicken to fly, but the cape makes it all good. We can vouch for your character, so could Muttley, and what about all the patients you treated that loved your care? What in the heck is going on with common sense for heavens sake, you are a homeowner and the records show all that you have done. Whoop-ass, oh yes.

Lor, love the plaque, so pretty and sweet of you.

September 10, 2010

Oh yes, the can of stupid dumbass is definitely surrounding me and the fumes keep on swirling !! I want to thank all of you for your wonderful, heartfelt and sometimes funny response to my never ending saga !! I have not heard from my friend, yes I still call her my friend, until this is settled....I can absolutely forgive her if she comes to me and tells me she made a huge mistake but until then I will not call her and hopefully I will not run into her as I do not want to see her on any other terms except an apology. No, I was never alone with her purse and even if I were I would probably not even notice it was there - sorry but a woman's pocektbook is sacred - no one touches mine and I would never touch any one else's unless asked to hand it to them. I believe a friendship is based on trust, understanding, calling any time day or night just because you need to talk, faith, love, a card sent in the mail just to say hi even though you see them often, a million things make a true friendship but the biggest is trust....anyway I will keep you all informed of my day to day soap opera !! As for the invitation, Michelle happens to be the only one at the campsite that did not hurt me....she was not there much of the time due to her daughter's schedule so I did not see much of her, we are friends and have never had a problem so we will go to the party and see what happens - if it is too much for me we will leave. Thankfully Tavian does not "see" that we were treated badly - he sees things through a child's eyes and is unaware of what transpires around him as far as adults go. I have been fine around him and he does not see my pain - I have become quite the actress at times when it comes to Tavian.

Tomorrow I am off work so Tavian and I will head to the campsite and Barry will join us after work. We are going with other friends that we are close to so please say a prayer that all goes well and I have a peaceful weekend and no drama !!!!

Maybe you are right...maybe old doors need to close so new ones can open - I said to Barry tonight as we sat outside with a fire going that I wished right then that we lived on a small farm where we did not know anyone, just the 3 of us beginning a new life together, a simple life. I need that beach front house just like Trudi wants. Speaking of - I am sorry that the person has to "think about your application" - please tell him that you have a ton of references and when all of us here at BI call him he won't know what hit him

I am praying that you get your little house on the beach my friend....

I was thinking of Jessica today as always and I know she would say "tell them all to kiss you a-- mom, who needs friends like that" - I had to smile at the thought of her standing there, hand on hip and saying those words - or she would have called them all up and tell them what she thought of them - that is my girl, a no bullshit, don;t need your drama girl. God how I miss her - I told Barry tonight that I so wish she was here with me, I need her to talk to, I just need her, I need her......

I shall say goodnight my friends and I will talk to all of you on Sunday when we return from camping. I love you all and am so very thankful that I have all of you in my life, Love, peace and strength.....

September 10, 2010

Lorri-The donation plaque is nice. Do you have special events for giving away clothes, or is it all the time? I think I have it right, you provide clothes to teenagers that need them? Sorry if I have it wrong.

WE RPOVIDE CLOTHES TO MOSTLY FOSTER /DHS KIDS IN THE SYSTEM...BUT WE WONT TURN ANYONE DOWN...FROM INFANTS TO MEN AND WOMAN...NEEDING CLOTHES...EVERYTHING IS DONATED..

September 10, 2010

Colleen,

I hope it doesn't rain on your Badgers game! Have fun! We had a call from the SW today asking if we would be on call for placement if needed for Chance. He's the 16 year old ........ so, looks like it might happen and it could be anytime.

Kathy,

Enjoy every minute of your camping excursion!

Dee,

I have "personal summer" while you on the other hand don a cape and become Menopause Woman! Love it! Much more exciting, especially if the cape helps you fly!! :rolleyes:

Trudi,

What if you offered the gentleman first and last or something? Sound like he's being picky! I will write him a letter of recommendation for you. All he needs to know is that you can pay, right? Why do folks have to be so dang difficult?? :angry:

Lori,

Rich and I love the plaque ......

Thank you!

Love!

Well, it's late and I can't remember what else to respond too ...... it's that little bitty brain of mine!

300FBFBE-F008-DC26-1BB5-765664DD600C1.02.28

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