Loss of an Adult Child

[mikesmum]

Sherry - One handsome tall boy, one good looking mum!  Good luck with the photos.  I went with photobucket online.  Its feel and simple to use, something I can work with, with the limited expertise I have. (lol)

Colleen - sounds great!  C u there. 

Trudi

[ericasmom]

Hi All,

Mary Anne, I am deeply sorry that you are here, at the same time, glad that you found us. None of us ever thought of places such as this, I know that I never once thought of grief websites nor knew they existed until my Girl, Erica died, was killed, in 2003. ERi's car was struck by an Amtrak in Kalamazoo, Michigan at a broken crossing. I am one of the 'Oldies' here. Sherry and both lost our Children in the summer of 2003. My former husband, Michael, died in March from AML, leukemia. How long was your Son ill? My heart is with you as you find your steps in this new life. As Betts so beautifully put it, you will find life to hold joy again one day.

One of my Daughter's best Buddies, Bridget, is thinking of joining us for a time. She has visited the thread of Loss of Parent, but they post very infrequently and don't give a sense of family as we do. Bridget is looking for the feeling that I have been blessed to find here with all of You. She is dealing with grief that has been delayed. Pat, her Momma, died when she was eleven. She had cancer. Bridget was surrounded by her friends and her Aunties, one of which raised her after Pat died, but Bridget learned to hold all of her grief in. She appeared to most folks to be super strong, and she went along. Bridget then dealt with the death of her buddie, Erica, and there were other deaths on the peripheral of her circle as well. The whole time, Bridget appeared to be strong, and quiet. Recently, Bridget started to feel differently, and at 25 found that she no longer could hold it all in. She began to grieve. So please welcome her if she joins us, she simply needs what we have, love and empathy. She just happens to have lost the opposite of who we have lost. Parent/Child.

Lori, the tears sometimes WIN! And they win because they must. You have to let them out so that you can breathe and move forward. It is not a sign of weakness, rather a sign of cleansing.

My love,

dee

[ericasmom]

Sherry, you are so pretty and I am so glad that you  are getting to have these photos up for us to see. Hooray for your photo saviors here, Marcia and Betts. And advice from Kath and Trudi. I would help if I had any sense of things.

love,

me

[daveydow1]

Dee----Thanks so much for the compliment for the picture Marcia posted, and

the one Bets also posted. I feel so sorry for your daughter's friend, Bridget,

who has had so much loss in her young life. I hope she comes to BI----we will

all welcome her, I'm sure.

Kathy----Don't want to sound dumb ---but when using the WIN Photo Gallery

in BI.....I'm afraid that if I select a photo, that it will change my AVATAR rather

than  showing up with my post. Will that happen, or will the pic just come up along

with my post? Could you give me a bit more instruction ?  Hope you don't mind.

Sherry  

[heartbeataway]

Sherry, it's so nice to see you and Davey!  Handsome young man!

Marcia, thank you!

Lorri,

Hold on tight ...... you'll get through this trying time ....... tears can be healing waters that flow over the soul and wash away bits of the pain that has built up in your soul. Let them come ....... as Rich would say to me, you have reason to cry.

[mpsmom]

Sherry's Davey at age 17 ,      what a cutie

[mpsmom]

Sherry's Davey with Winnie-the-Pooh    

[johnnysmama]

Hi friends

First off-Dee been thinking of you and Eri and her yearly fest. You are beautiful by the way (both in and out) and Eri and Jon favor you so much.

 

Sherry

Lisa and Davey look so much alike in their baby pics. Thank you dear friends helping post the pics for Sherry. Davey just exudes sweetness.

 

Carol

Sorry about hubby-hope he is better. Stay strong dear friend. You are so giving to soooooo many.

 

Marcia

I so, so enjoyed the costumed Bethany-that smile is amazing and her costumes are fantastic.

 

Bonnie your post was so moving. You are an amazingly strong woman.

 

Kathy

Sorry I missed Jessica's Birthday. Happy birthday sweet beautiful hair girl! She just looks like an angel.

 

Mamabets-HIIIIIIIIIIII! glad to hear from you. You always have such wisdom and spirit.

 

 

I have been stepping back Not sure why. You guys are all the best there is. You are so strong and have THE largest hearts. I was thinking today. I did not tell Johnny goodbye. Then I thought I didnt need to-he is not gone-he is still with me.

[summergirl]

OK - I HAVE LOST 2 POSTS TONIGHT ALREADY AND IT IS MAKING ME CRAZY.

Mary Ann - Welcome to BI, I am so sorry for your loss and I pray that you continue to come here, there is much comfort and wisdom here. A hugh family of loving, understanding people.  I found my way here in July of 07 and it has saved my sanity many times over. I am so sorry for the loss of your Brian and I pray that you continue to come here and tell us more of Brian when you can.

Sherry - will tell you more about posting pics from Photo Gallery tomorrow - my fingers are tired after losing to hugh posts!!

mamabets - thank you - I will grab the miracles and run with them as fast as I can. Yes 30 just about did me in - she was just laying in my arms as I rocked her to sleep, taking her first steps and now - well there are no words. 

Lorrie - sorryabout the poison ivy but sure hope you have fun with the 3 little ones at the slumber party!!!  Let the tears flow - they are necessary.

Jessica my girl - took you with me tonight to get the nails done - had a nice talk with you as I always do.  July is not over yet so I know you are still celebrating your birthday - give all our Angels hugs and kisses for their moms and dads. Miss you my sweet sweet baby - your mom forever.

Peaceful dreams my friends and sorry about not replying to all but after losing the 2 posts I have had enough already. Talk tomorrow. Kathy 

Jessica's beautiful boy - my blessing.

[mysonrich]

Sherry, I have Vista. No, if you choose a picture after clicking browse, it will not change Daveys avatar. Yes, the picture will show up with the post. Click preview to make sure your words are not out of place.

 

Trudi, I still see Rich zipping around, a very fast , zipping around star. The cloud that he sits in next to Mike, you know there's a plate of food in front of them!

Rich never crawled. He scooted around in the position of a sprinter in the "starting gate". One leg bent up and one to push off with. Once he stated, he never stopped. Up and walking.

 

Dee, my thoughts are with your young friend tonight.

Betsey, also Elizabeth here and to the people that have been in my life the entire time, Bets.

 

Betsy, myson,Rich

[ericasmom]

Kath, this might be my new favorite photo of the gorgeous Tavian.

Sherry, thanks, I know that Bridget will find open arms and hearts here. Loving all these photos of your beauties.

Kay, holding back is what most of us have done at some point on this journey, it is as necessary at times as it is to come in the first place. Are you doing okay? How are the plans for Steph and college?

Mamabetts, yep, another Eri-fest already. Six years now, hard to believe, but true nevertheless. Six years is a long time to not see Erica, but she is right here, sitting on my shoulder as I say goodnight.

[mikesmum]

Sherry - To change the avatar you need to be in 'My Account', it won't change if you post a picture here.  If you have pictures on your computer that you are emailing, you should be able to select them thru the 'browse' at the bottom of the post.  To put pics into the post itself I use Photobucket.  Its not a program but a free internet tool.  Your boy is as cute as a button..

Kay - I love your avatar, one handsome man.  Stepping back is part of what we can do here, no need for explanations.  As you say, you never got to say goodbye, but Johnny hasn't truly gone, he lives forever in your heart.

Dee - please let Bridget know she will be more than welcomed here.  You are right, we are a family that now extends past the loss of an adult child. 

Kathy - yes your blessing and judging by the 'tan' Tavian is a 'summerboy'.

I love the pictures posted here.  This is one that Steven has framed at his house.  It was 'edited' for the slide show at Mike service...I just love it.

Trudi

[mamabets]

for mikesmum~ What a darling picture, Trudi... The editing, in quotes, is oh so Trudi...

The consummate Mom~

It feels good to be back here. I find myself hoping that this new browser doesn't lock up-LOL!!

I am moving right along here on this journey, exploring new parts of my soul that have been dormant for so long. I am driving long distances, LOL, as in 5 hours to see my Jackie and the kids...!!!

YOU are traveling the farthest for the Minnesota trip~ AMAZING!!

Given the life changes that I am going through, it is impossible for me to attend, yet one day I will, and I will be with all of you, this year, by heart~

Little Muttley making a mad dash...OMG- Brings me right smack back to a couple of weeks ago when I was with my Jackie and the kids at the neighborhood pool when Jackie screams and panics... "WHERE'S CAROLINE????????"

She had fallen into the ...pool.... IS perfectly fine, but I just collapsed. Period~ Not to mention, seeing my Jackie so petrified....

Caroline is 2 years old, my second grand baby....

Much Love~

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from here, there and everywhere

[mamabets]

For mysonrich~ You are Betsy too, like me?? Without the "e"?? LOL-????

This is good- ENTIRE... Stick with the forever people in your life, now and forever, Bets...

Much Love~

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from here, there and everywhere

[mysonrich]

Trudi, why did you edit the picture?

:shock:

[nicksdad]

[align=left]                         DAN

watch over your family today and give them comfort[/align]

[align=left]

[/align]

[mamabets]

for nicksdad~ My Danny leaves "heart" signs all of the time~ Danny and Danny, together with Nick~ xoxxoxoox

Much Love~

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from here, there and everywhere

[beezer]

Hello all!

My name is Bridget and I am a good friend of Dee's. Her daughter Erica was one of my best friends and through Erica, Dee and I became friends too. She introduced me to this website because I have been going through a particularly difficult time in my life.

When I was 11 I lost my mom to breast cancer. She was a single mom, and I was an only child, so I not only lost my mom, but my best friend. At the time I watched all of the adults in my family fall apart; my aunts, my grandma, everyone. I also saw that when I cried, it made them cry even more, so I decided that I would be strong for them and held in my emotions. I became the strong one, the glue that held everyone else together, even though I was so young.

I continued this throughout my life. I never showed my emotions, and rarely admitted I was sad or scared. When Erica passed away 6 years ago, I lost another best friend, but I also had a group of friends who had never lost a loved one before. Once again I pushed my emotions down inside and put on a strong face for my friends. They had never experienced a loss so large, and I became the rock once again.

I have now reached a point in my life where I can no longer hold all of this pain, sadness, and heaviness inside any longer. I started having panic attacks last month. At first I did not know they were panic attacks, and did not know what was causing them, so they were very scary. After a few trips to the emergency room, talks with doctors, my counsler, family, and some amazing friends, I came to the realization that the panic was all of the emotions I had kept inside for so long finally busting out of me. It was my body's way of saying "ENOUGH ALREADY! YOU CAN'T CARRY THIS WITH YOU ANYMORE! THERE'S NO MORE ROOM! YOU HAVE TO GET IT OUT!"

I never truly grieved for my mother, or for Erica when they passed. I never truly let all of my pain and sadness out. I thought I did, but I didn't. I have kept so much inside for so long that I have no choice but to let it out now, let it ALL out. It took some work to even get the tears flowing again because it had become such a habbit to me to hold everything in; my body was fighting to get it out, but my mind was fighting to keep it in.

About 2 weeks ago started crying uncontrollably during a private yoga session. My yoga instructor had me lay down and just sob for the rest of the session. It was so uncontrollable. I couldn't stop. I criend for the whole hour session while he rocked my body. Since then I have cried everyday.

It feels so good to finally release. My tears fall and my heart aches, but after each time I feel a little lighter. So much has come out over these past 2 weeks, but there is still more inside.

So here I am today. I am picking up where my grieving left off, for both my beautiful momma and for my best friend Erica. Dee has said that all of you have helped her tremendously in her process. You seem to be a very close online family that picks each other up when one is feeling down. I know that I am on the other end, I lost my mother as a child, but my pain runs just as deep. I am now 25, and I too want to be a momma some day, but I need to fix my broken heart first.

Thank you all. Much love.

Bridget

[ericasmom]

Oh Bridget, I am crying because I know what it took for you to be here, the losses and the grief, the strength and the courage, and the need. You are an amazing young lady, and I know your Momma is shouting from the heavens that her Girl is a Wonder. And you are. Hooray for you Sweetie. When you feel ready, tell us all about your Mom, and post a photo if you are comfy.

Trudi, love the photo of the kids, makes me grin, just as Sherry's young ones, makes me think of the clothing we dressed our babies in, the funny little cowlicks in their hair. So dear. Times that cannot be erased.

Love ya all,

dee

[alexsdad]

Hi All,

 

I stop by BI often to read but I applogize that it has been a while since I wrote.  I’m writing today to share some good and some horrible news with you.

 

The devistaing news – My wife’s (Donna) good friend was killed a car accident on July 20^th one day after Donna’s birthday.  Denitte Cebolski left behind 3 kids, her parents, and two siblings.  We have been friends with Denitte and her whole family for a number of years and she will be greatly missed by us.  Her memorial service is tomorrow at the same funeral home that handled Alex’s service.  I’m sure it is going to be a very “Challenging” day for us all and especially for my dear Donna.

 

The Good – Donna and I were interviewed by a reporter shortly before our 5K Meningitis awarness walk by a medical magizine.   This magizine is sent to Doctors to promote medicine and vacines.  Here is a link if you wish to read the article for yourself. Alex’s story is on pages 58 & 59.  Click on the link and then on “Read the latest issue online” box.  Then scroll to page 58-59.  http://www.bstquarterly.com/ 

 

[ericasmom]

Alex's Dad, Jeff right? I am so very sorry for Dinette's family, and for all who will so dearly miss her. HOw old are her children? Give Donna  big BI hug from us, this is going to be hard for her, and for both of you as grief gets revisited with each new loss, and going to the same fuenral home could be tricky. It was for us, but you get through it somehow. Our prayers. I will read the article and comment later, but I am happy for that, that you two have made more people aware.

Good job, one that Alex is cheering you on.

dee

[mpsmom]

Marian, May you feel your sweet son, Dan close to you today and may his memories soften the "date" and why it is rememered date. 

This was only one day in your boys long life.  My prayers are with you and your family today.

Peace, Marcia    Bethany's Mom Forever

 

[mpsmom]

MamBets, Isnt your Christine a little doll, I am so glad she is OK after her 'dip' in the pool.  Here in Las Vegas area, we have lost 6 children to swimming pool drownings in the last 2 months, we are only halfway thru summer, it is so horrible to see on the evening news.

Trudi, I love the 'editing' of the picture, how sweet.

Jeff, I am so sorry that your wife's best friend has died, my prayers go out to you family and also her friends family, We also attended services for one of our patients at the same funeral home that handled Bethany's preparation, ( Bethany's services were not held there, but I was in and out of the buidling to help prepare her and see her many times in that week) I tried so hard not to cry but was unsucessful, we stayed thru the official services and the family knew why when we had to leave right after. I had to be there, this lady that passed was very special to our family.

I have printed the article and will ask my husband to make it available to his patients with teenagers, we do quite a few sports physicals in our office next month in preparation for High School sports to start.  I had learned about the vacination a couple years ago and talked about our daughter being vacinated before going away to college.

Bridget , welcome, I hope you will find a 'family' here with us, so wonderful that you and Dee are friends, we all think she is one special lady...share your memories of your Mom with us when you feel you are up to it.

HUgs, to all      Marcia    Bethany's Mom Forver

[ericasmom]

Marian, may you feel the love of YOUR SON wrapped all around you today, and each day. The dates that captured our hearts and held them hostage are difficult, and breaking free and living again is the very best gift to your Boy.

Love,

dee

[shorty16]

Jeff and Donna

My thought and prayers are with you on this most difficult of days, saying goodbye to a good friend.

There are no words other than, "May the Lord bless you and keep you, may His face shine upon you and give you peace."  This is one of my favorite verses.

We recently took Aaron in for his camp physical and I made sure he was vacinated.

I am also spreading the word of this easy fix to a deadly illness.

Colleen

 

[shorty16]

Bridget

It seems you and I have something in common.  My mother was diagnosed with breat cancer in 2003, we faught hard for her.  My son, Brian gave up his room so she could stay with us for her final days - she lasted 2 days in our home and died on 2-7-08 (a huge snow storm in WI.).  She too was my best friend.

On 6-19-08, my 16 year old son, Brian was killed while car-surfing.  I was numb.  My best friend-Mom and son in the same year.

I cried, I cried alot.  I would lay on the floor, take a deep breath and exhale the air slowly.  Once the air was gone from my lungs i would lay there and ask God to take me because I could not handle this pain.  My bodies normal functioning forced me to breath again, but I would repeat this for days, weeks until one day a little light shone through my darkness.  It did not last long, but it was there.  After several more weeks of utter sadness and a point of light; the light started growing and the crying started slowing down.  I now can walk upright, talk, work and take good care of my family.  I think I am over the worst of the physical pain, but the loss is so saddening.

I pray that you go throught this, as painful as it is - the grief must wash over us like a title-wave and then we gasp for breath and the title wave comes again until one day the title wave is not as big and the gasp for breath becomes a full breath and we go on.

You have come to the right place.  A loss of someone so dear is trama to the body and soul.  Here we support each other's soul so the body can recover.

Colleen, Brian's Mother and Judy's daughter forever.

[mpsmom]

Colleen, I can see in your writing you have come so far..........so  encouraging !!

Love, Marcia       Bethany's Mom Forever

[beezer]

Thank you Colleen!!!

I can't express enough how much your words mean to me! I am crying right now at my desk as I read them. Crying sad tears to hear of all the heartache you have gone through, but also happy ones to hear that there comes a day when the wave of emotion is not as big as it used to be. You are absolutely amazing!

You described exactly what I have been feeling the past 10 days. The physical pain is sometimes unbearable, but I do have the little light in my sight that motivates me to keep pushing forward, keep moving towards the other side of the storm. That little light of strength that, with time, will fully shine through again.

Your strength is truly inspiring Colleen. Thank you so much.

Bridget, Patricia's daughter & Erica's friend forever

[mikesmomrs]

Marion...May Dan surround you with peace and love today, and I pray for strength for you on this day.  Please remember that Dan was much, much more than the day he passed...he lived, and the memories of that life will live in your heart, forever.

Bridget:  Welcome to this family of caring, understanding and supportive people.  I am so very sorry that you have spent so many years swallowing your grief...I pray you find the strength to continue on this journey of healing, and please know that we are all in your corner, holding out our hearts to you.

Jeff and Donna:  One of the saddest things about this site is that in order to be welcoming someone to it, it means that someone is grieving a loss of a precious loved one, be it friend or relative.  I pray for strength for your family as you journey down this road. 

love and peace,

carol  mikesmomrs

[ericasmom]

Oh Bridgie, I love this photo of you and Mom. So sweet, so special and that you posted it here makes my heart dance in between my tears. Thanks Bridg. Yep, Colleen is right, the tiny light that peeks in and shows itself is a sign of more light to come. Thanks Col, for your wise and heartening words for us all, and especially for Bridget.

Love to you Girly,

dee

[shorty16]

Does anyone know when summer is supose to start in Wisconsin?

It is overcast, 65 degrees and windy.

I am just letting my friends who are coming to Minn know the weather is cooler than normal.

Bring a jacket for evening

Colleen

[lostwoher]

Colleen, it should be better tomorrow. Im in Illinois and its 84 right now. Looking at bright skies and perhaps a rain shower this evening but clearing for tomorrow with a high of 85 I know exactly what you mean tho- this has been the strangest/coolest summer that I can recall. I never know how to dress appropriately.

So sorry to have to welcome yet another newbie but am glad you have joined us here. Be yourself and sending hugs to you as you find yourself once again.

May Dan show you sign on this day and make you smile even a lil bit today.

I havent posted lately but I have been reading. Been busy with work and seems all I do lately is sleep. Trying to get myself together and do up some dishes and get caught up on laundry. I keep telling Randy to fire the maid (me) be he says absolutely not. What a trooper he is. Also have the final papers to sign on the headstone I designed for Kayla. Should be set sometime in Oct.

An accident just occured outside on my corner so I will go check that there are no injuries.

Lynn

[daveydow1]

 

 

Bets----Oh, how scary....I am sooooo glad little Caroline

is OK. I'm sure you ( & everyone else there) could do without

anymore scares like that.

  Sherry 

[daveydow1]

Marian----Thoughts & prayers for you on this day.....Dan's Angel Day.

May he smile down from above, and warm your heart.

Trudi and Betsey....Oh Thanks so much for the tutoring about posting pics.

I will try it soon.

Trudi,----Such a precious pic of Mike & Steven. They look sooooo cute in their

swimsuits and little bare arms...chests. These photos are worth their weight

in gold, aren't they?   Thanks for posting.

Kathy,----Losing posts...GRrrrrrrrrrr. So maddening. Such a nice pic of Tav

and his nice tan. He's a handsome little guy, and will be a 'heartbreaker' when

he grows up.

Carol,....Sorry that your husband has been ill. I hope he is doing much better now.

Kay....Thanks for your kind words re: Dave's pictures. I completely understand

that everyone needs to step back sometimes, and I think we have all done that.

I'm just glad to see your posts, and handsome Johnny's avatar. I , also, did not

get to say goodbye to my son, but as you say......they are still with us always.

I cut this out of the paper:-----To live in hearts

                                                We leave behind,

                                                Is not to die.

Peace to you, friend.

Bonnie......Thanks for your kind words about Davey and  Lisa's photos. He was

15 mo. in this photo with the Pooh rider at Christmas. Lisa was born in May, and

died in Nov. 1970, so never saw a Christmas.

Marcia,----Again....thanks for posting the photos. I hope to learn to do it myself

real soon .

Peace & tranquility to all here at BI.

sherry

 

[mikesmum]

One of the most heartening things on this site is seeing the healing of the body and soul.  Yes Colleen I'm talking to you.  You have come such a long way in a short time. Now with words of wisdom, reflection and support another 'newbie' joins us and feels a connection.

Bridget - I'm so glad you have found a 'soft place to land' here with BI family.  In my family I was the tough one.  The one who understood 'what needed to be done' and did it.  I was the support for my brother when my nephew died at 15 from CF, for my mum when my dad passed, for my brother again when we lost our mum in 05. When I lost Mike I held it together for the week before the funeral. After doing what needed to be done I fell hard.  Mikes loss hit me like a freight train and didn't let me up for quite some time. 

I think I am over the worst of the physical pain, but the loss is so saddening.

There will be times when the physical pain returns albeit briefly, but the sadness remains.

Please come often and share your memories of you mum and the life and times of Miss Eri.  We are all here for you..

Bets - Oh yes the heart stopped and the body ached from seeing Muttley run into traffic, just as yours did with your grandbaby.  Thankfully both are okay.  It is good to see you, your grandbaby is gorgeous.

Betsy - Well I edited the pics cause Steve was being a 'ruddie bottom' no swimmers!! Given it was for the service I cropped it to a respectable level at Steve's request. The picture was taken in March of 1981, my dad had died in the Feb.  It was at Rye, mum & dad camped there every summer and she wanted to be there, to be where he would have loved to have been..

It is 16 days, 14 hours, 6 minutes and 29 seconds until Tuesday, 11 August.

But who's counting!!  

[daveydow1]

For Bridget,-----You wrote "that little light of strength that with time will

fully shine through again".  Your words are so true. I hope you can gain

some comfort from this BI site. It has been a lifeline to me, and we each

seem to take some comfort from each other---no matter how long--or

short --a time we have been on here. Everyone has something to offer.

  It helps to know that others understand perfectly how

one is feeling at any given time. BI is always here 24/7 and everyone is

honored for who they are, their individual losses, and the freedom they

have to say whatever they want. No judgements are passed here. This

site has more people on it than nearly any other one ( of the bereavement

type of site.) Come back soon......read/post whenever you feel like it. We're

here......the BI family.

Daveysmom,  Sherry   

[daveydow1]

Trying this out......

Sherry

[daveydow1]

Yay !!!!!  What do you know ?????  I should celebrate. Am retracing my

steps, and making notes for future use...I know I'd forget.

Thanks Marcia, Trudi, and Betsey, and Bets !

Sherry

 

[mpsmom]

WOWEEE.. fantastic !!!

[lostwoher]

learning how to use photobucket so bare with me--

http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o298/lynncpht/Picture113.jpg

[lostwoher]

oops sorry so BIG. will try another time

[mpsmom]

Lori, what a sweet smile she has on her face...young love..

[shorty16]

I thank my BI friends for my movement through this grief.

I received a birthday card from my sister-in-laws family and she stated how her entire family sees a change in me.  The grief has molded me into a new person. 

When I wake up in the morning, I say to myself "This is the day that the Lord has made, let us be glad and rejoice in it.:  After I say that, I try to think about what I can do to make that statement true?

I know I am not alone in this journey, I have my husband and 2 kids, who are feeling this grief as hard as I am.  And my BI friends.  They know what it is like to have to say goodbye to a part of yourself.

Thanks to all of you for your help on this continued journey

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[shorty16]

I thank my BI friends for my movement through this grief.

I received a birthday card from my sister-in-laws family and she stated how her entire family sees a change in me.  The grief has molded me into a new person. 

When I wake up in the morning, I say to myself "This is the day that the Lord has made, let us be glad and rejoice in it.:  After I say that, I try to think about what I can do to make that statement true?

I know I am not alone in this journey, I have my husband and 2 kids, who are feeling this grief as hard as I am.  And my BI friends.  They know what it is like to have to say goodbye to a part of yourself.

Thanks to all of you for your help on this continued journey

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[heartbeataway]

One of the most heartening things on this site is seeing the healing of the body and soul. Yes Colleen I'm talking to you. You have come such a long way in a short time. Now with words of wisdom, reflection and support another 'newbie' joins us and feels a connection.

Yes Colleen ....... I so agree with Trudi!  You ( as well as Marcia) have come such a long way in such a short time frame.

We are connected and we do look out for each other.  I have also grown and have learned so much about the grieving process.  I never experienced or at least I haven't yet experienced the anger phase of grief.  If I ever do, especially since we are past the two year mark, I may not recover from it.

But, I have learned to be patient when others are experiencing it.

I'm just broken by our loss. NOTHING in our life is or has been the same since Jay left.

I still want the universe to give him back to us.

Bridget,

I wish you strength in your grieving process. I'm sorry for your losses.

Carol,

I hope your husband is feeling better.  We will miss you in MN.

[mikesmum]

Bonnie - I was also thinking of you.  Your heartbreak here was palpable, especially around 'Pinnacle Days".  I guess we have all travelled some distance here. 

I love the pictures succesfully posted. 

Sherry whose horse?

Lori - She is such a sweetheart....

Just a little something for those who have now graduated  from the Post a Picture Class of 09!!

[lostwoher]

hahaha thats funny but dont think im ready for graduation just yet

thanks for all the help everyone

Lynn ~ Kayla's mom then, now and forever

[ericasmom]

VERY funny Trud, and I wish I had written things down Sherry, as I forget each time I post as to how I managed. Oh well. Love the horse, that's your bicycle hu? Cool ride.

Raining and thundering tonight, we went to husband's nephews game. They were able to get it in before the rain fell too hard.

sleepy now, see you all in the morn.

dee

[heartbeataway]

I thought about something for those downloading pictures.  I use a mac and find it difficult to download pictures and do other things with my Safari browser.  I use Firefox and it's so much more user friendly.

Might help some of you also.

I love this picture of Jay.  A friend of his posted it recently.  I had not seen it before.  They called it his "easy rider impression".  I think he was playing cards.  This is so Jay ... he could be so much fun!

[4everjoeysmom]

This site definitely was a lifeline for me when I was so alone, lonely and deep in my sadness and grief over losing my son Joey. Next week, Friday the 31st will be 3 years. I can't believe how much I've healed in 3 years. When I began my grief journey I never imagined the physical pain would end. When Joey left, my heart went with him, shattered, devastated. I couldn't function. But in time I slowly came back to life. The missing will never fade... But where I am today from where I was nearly three years ago, it's nothing short of a miracle. And my friends here helped me more than anyone else in this world through the most difficult of moments. I am so thankful for them, for BI, and for the way that this "community" stays alive after the healing journey gets underway, so that folks newly entering this journey can "see and realize the HOPE".

I am so sorry for those who are entering the journey. May you find strength and love to carry you through the darkest of times, and know that you are among friends and people here who genuinely care and feel for you. Blessings & Hugs!

Claudia (4EverJoeysMom)