Loss of an Adult Child

[daveydow1]

 

 HAPPY   BIRTHDAY   DEAR   JESSICA . 

Kathy---- Thinking of you today with wishes for peace & comfort.

Betsy----So glad you are back to BI. It's good to see you & Danny in

the avatar. Peace to you, friend.

I hope everyone here in the BI family has a nice evening and good sleep.

   Sherry  

[daveydow1]

Amanda---I hope you have a very nice time camping....you need a vacation---

(I don't need to tell you that   .) Sending prayers for you & your baby-to-be.

Marcia---Thanks for all your help with the picture thing.

Peace to all at BI.

Sherry

[summergirl]

Hello to all my dear dear friends - Coming here tonight is the best part of today - the wonderful posts, the heartfelt wishes have touched my heart, the one that is still so broken.  Jessica's best friend Ashley just left, we shared many memories of Jessica, laughed and cried, held hands and took deep breaths.

Greg - thank you, thank you - that was the most perfect song that you chose just for Jessica. Ashley and I sat and listened to it together and she said as many times as she has heard that song she never really listened to it until that moment and it was perfect for Jessica - tears fell, good ones and hard ones.

Dan - the pic you did with Jessica's picture in it was amazing - don't know how you did it but it came from the heart and I love it - had to print it for my journal.

It was a diffacult day, the first thing this morning I had a meltdown on the way to work and then got myself together, went inside and one of the guys who works there said "you look like you were crying" and I said "yes, my Jessica is 30 today" - his reply was "well, you should be happy as she is at peace, not going around crying"!!  I looked at him and said "if you ever walk in my shoes and I pray you never do then you can tell me to be happy" and then I walked away!!  Still do not understand people and am at the point where I just don't care anymore.  Met Barry at the cemetery after work, we sat and visited and talked to her, no balloons this year, lit a candle and just sat with her, it had rained hard all day but cleared up enough so we got to stay for a while.  It was peaceful.

No phone calls from any of Barry's family but my I talked to my mom and sister and my best friend Linda called, my friend Denise left a beautiful shell for Jessica on which she wrote. Many calls from Jessica's friends - guess the family likes to keep it to themselves.   But I am not going to let any of them bother me as it is Jessica's birthday and I know that she is celebrating with all of our Angles and having a wonderful time.  Besides I have my family here and that is more than I could ever ask for!!

I promise to catch up on all tomorrow, tonight I am weary and need some quiet time - thank you again for your beautiful wishes for my Jessica.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR SWEET JESSICA, I KNOW YOU ARE DANCING AND LAUGHING AND SHARING MEMORIES WITH ALL OF OUR ANGELS - KISS AND HUG THEM ALL FOR THEIR MOMS AND DADS. I LOVE YOU MY BABY AND MISS YOU WITH AN ACHE THAT NEVER ENDS. YOUR MOM ALWAYS.

[ericasmom]

Dan, that is so pretty, the flower with Jess in the center. Very pretty.

Greg, what a great song, you guys come up with some awesome material.

Amanda, have a wonderful time camping, it should feel good to get away. Glad you are in a cabin, not a tent. Have fun.

Love to All, and Kathy, my goodness that was a good response to an ignorant human. WHile i do understand that folks think that they are saying something that will help, they rarely understand that they are passing judgement while they offer advice about something of which they have no idea. So really, a hug, or just a quick "I hope you find some peace today." would have been plenty good.

May you all sleep like a five year old after a long day swimming and building sand castles.

FABULOUS to see Danny again. So glad Bets that you are back. Love to you,

dee

[4everjoeysmom]

Carol, Dee, and ALL:

It's going as well as it can be in this transitional phase for our ministry. We still have the craziness going on, but have found a new "home" in Ecuador and are in the process of moving. It's amazing what I've collected since coming here 3-1/2 years ago. And I consider myself a minimalist compared to my life before moving here. Love the new place. Plenty of room for visitors--(Marcia!

The school is doing well, although I have not been able to return to teaching yet. Being uprooted unexpectedly, packing and moving are keeping me busy. But the kids are doing great, and I plan to be back to teaching in the next week or two. Still hoping for more tuition sponsors for the kids--needing 2 more--but other than that, all is wonderful concerning school.

I'll share more about our move when I can, and some pictures as well. For now sending love & hugs, and missing the time I had to keep up. It will come again, in time. xoxoxo ~Claudia

[mikesmum]

Debra - Welcome, you most certainly have come to the right place, though the price we paid to get here is far too much.

I found this sight in the middle of the night when I was looking for answers.  The genuine support and understanding here has helped me move albeit slowly forward.  My son was 31 when he passed, that was 2 1/2yrs ago.  He has a brother and sister.   Both understood my loss, they have their own children,  I believe that made the difference.  The relationship changed, they became the parent, I became the child needing care.  

Perhaps being open with them about where you are now tempered with an understanding of their grief, that might explain so of where they are now.  Its such an early time in your journey - thoughts with you.  Come here when you can, sharing what you are able, especially about your child...

Kathy - Another dumbass to add to our wide berth list

Betsy - (mum of Dan - Superman)  an example of the light from this site that helped me through the darkness of the abyss!  Hello!! 

Dan - you are a man of many talents.  I found that I am drawn to the stories about the loss of children more than before - not morbidly but with a sense of 'I hope they find the support I have here".  

Carol - Love the popeye quote. Mine is 'built for comfort not for speed'.  Its not the exterior but the heart that beats within.  Hope you otherhalf is doing okay with the new regime of meds...cross my fingers for you both.

Colleen - The shirt - getting mine done tomorrow!

This is something I found on Youtube after listening to Gregs link.  Love the song!! 

I think this really sums up all of us here on BI

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSICA - HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOO YOU! :dude:

[mysonrich]

Hello everyone, I've been reading the posts of late. Feeling glum, if that's the right word. Always the thought and feeling that I have no one to share with. No one that remembers my son here and has any idea of the person I do talk about. My good friend is childless and having never suffered a close death , she listens but I know she doesn't understand.

 

Rich has been gone 6 months. I feel numb to this in a way, still not believing.

 

Marcia, a few pages and weeks back you shared  a memory of your car -trip with Bethany. I always felt that connections and lifelong memories are made and some best remembered on car-trips. I felt the time had come to have a chat with Rich when it came to girls. Driving down the road one day I talked to him. He sure wasn't going anywhere at the moment. He did'd say much but he did listen.

 

Dan, I understand the "walking on eggshells" feeling. The same emotions that you felt with your daughter I also felt with mine insofar as good times and talking about Nick or in my case Rich ,of course. We want to enjoy ourselves to the degree that we can but our children are there, one not seen. DO we mention him? Will it take away from our daughters the fact that they are here and make them feel as if the death of our son only leaves room for gray, no light, bright days ever again?

 

Dee, I now see you as you are but before, I saw you as a flower-child!   Daisy's in your hair and all.

 

I took a day off yesterday, feeling under the weather and didn't do much but sleep. The Tv remained off and the sound of my fan was like a lullaby, but the the phone rang. I must say when I woke up that it was the first time in months that I felt as if I really slept.

I also submitted my resume for consideration , in the same company, for another position. I was approached by my manager and was told of the reasons why I may not want to make a move, I didn't reply but wanted to shout, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH OF MY LIFE I FEEL LIKE I AM MISSING. My son is gone, I can't gring him back and given more time,maybe,just maybe I will have time to share with others before that is gone .

 

I know we all have angels now. Did I ever tell you all about the time I woke early on a Saturday and was planning on a trip to a very popular flea market that day. To my surprise Rich was up early. He always was a night person. I asked him if he was ready to get going for the day. I should have known something was wrong due to the fact that he was up so early. I had a really nice stereo in my 6 month new car. Rich would sit and listen to it while parked. He said that morning, " Mom, your car ran out of gas while I was listening to the stereo and I was going to get gas for you. I hit a curb and you have a flat. ( First, my dear son, how do you drive a car to get gas when it is out of gas?) I go out and look at my car. FLAT ! THE WHOLE WHEEL IS CRUNCHED!  Keep in mind my dear angel Rich was not yet a licensed driver. I knew he had someone with him that night but he never would tell me. I found out who it was after he died. IT wasn't so much the car, as I told him, it was the trust that I had in him. So I am rambling because of something his sister said. He was no angel then but his heart was big. I didn't know until after his service how many people were there and the diverse crowd that attended. I saw them but didn't. He was a good guy. Crunched wheels and all.

 

Betsy, myson RIch.

 

 

[mamabets]

Hello~ Much love, and many thanks for the warm welcome backs!! It is amazing how, no matter what, we are all so completely understood here. We never "leave", we are always "here", and while there is such sadness around it all, we do have each other. I love to see another "Betsy" here!!

I love my name- LOLOL- Short for Elizabeth, but I have been known as "The Bets" for many years... My grand daughters call me "Bets", can you imagine??

Much love and peace to all~

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from here, there and everywhere

[briansdad]

QUOTE FROM BONNIE:

"On a lighter note, my husband Rich shaved his mustache today. We've been married since 1986 and I've only seen without it once. I think I like it .....;-) ?

I'm just not use to him without it. He has no upper lip! I would love him if he had no lips at all. Just need to get used to this new man in my house!"

Your story rings so true. I shaved mine off once when Brian was 3 or 4.When I came out of my bedroom he looked at me and started to cry :shock: I guess he didn't like his no lip Daddy.

[shorty16]

Greg

Do you still have your Brian's 2001 Chevy Cavalier?

Colleen

[lolynbo]

KOURTNEYS KLOSET MADE THE PAPER AGAIN...SEEMS LESS AND LESS THEY MENTION KOURTNEY...KINDA HURTS..

Donations up, but needs keep rising, too

 

Don Alquist

Volunteers Jennifer Brewer, middle, and Theresa Haggard, right, pack diaper bags and backpacks recently at Kourtney’s Kloset, which are to be given to the Department of Human Services for children who are taken into custody. At left, Mykayla Brewer, 9, lends a helping hand. 

ARDMore, OK —

Good things are happening at Kourtney’s Kloset, but the project’s needs are growing.

Kourtney’s Kloset is the place foster parents are able to shop for free clothing for children placed in their care by the Department of Human Services and the Chickasaw Foster Care Program.

The effort also provides immediate-need diaper bags and backpacks for children taken into custody by DHS.

Just months after the grand opening, Jennifer Brewer, president of Foster Adoptive Parents Association of Southern Oklahoma, the organization that sponsors Kourtney’s Kloset, said, “We are blessed to have people just come in and say that they want to volunteer their time to help us. They will work for a day, a week or stay with us for the duration. We want to thank them for that. It helps us greatly.”

Brewer also said the project has been blessed by several groups and individuals who continue to donate clothing for Kourtney’s Kloset.

“Mr. Gibson, our wonderful benefactor from California, is still sending us boxes upon boxes of clothing,” she said. Gibson, a 1940 graduate of Ardmore High School, said he has lived in Woodside, Calif., for the past 35 years and also has a residence in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.

In an e-mail, Gibson told Brewer, “What matters is your spirit and resolve.”

Gibson said the items of clothing he sends to Kourtney’s Kloset are “from the generosity of the staff that disperse clothes, etc., from the Lucille Packard Children’s Hospital of Stanford University.”

Locally, Brewer points to the continuous efforts of local churches and schools that are supporting the project.

“Trinity Baptist Church has had several of their Sunday school classes that have had mission projects to support our ministry,” Brewer said. “They have ranged from collecting clothing to filling diaper bags and back packs to gathering the items for the diaper bags and backpacks. We have had other churches just call us and ask us what we need because they want to do something and then they will show up with boxes of things for us or make cash donations.”

Before the school year ended, a number of schools participated in fundraising events to support the diaper bag and backpack project.

“Take Two student Glenna Wyat raised over a $100 through a penny drive to buy backpack and diaper bag items. Plainview primary and intermediate schools did a community service project, a strictly volunteer classroom project, and raised enough for approximately 15 diaper bags and backpacks. And Dickson High School did a diaper drive that raised approximately 10 boxes of diapers,” Brewer said.

But the need for more diaper bags and backpacks remains a high priority. Brewer said FAPASO has applied for grants for the project, but as yet doesn’t know if the organization will be awarded funds.

“We’re in need of money to continue filling the diaper bags and backpacks with the supplies children need,” she said.

Those who want to donate cash, items for diaper bags and backpacks or clothing items for Kourtney’s Kloset can drop off donations from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Tuesdays or Thursdays at the project site, located in Suite 29 (basement floor) of First Bank and Trust, 301 W. Main St. in Ardmore. Cash donations can be made to the Kourtney Brackett-Cargal Benefit account at First Bank and Trust.

Those with questions should call Brewer at (580) 2120-9502 or Theresa Haggard at (580) 294-3128.

[ericasmom]

Two Betsey', how lucky we are.

Betsy-Rich's Mom, I love your sharing of memories, I think that that could go a long way to letting us know that Beautiful Son of yours. That is how you know all of our angels too, though I know what you mean about nobody to share with in person that knew your Rich. Hard. Keep sharing though, you are drawing a portrait for us.

As far as flower child, I was/am, but I am 53, so I just don't look it as I once did, though my heart is still there, my beliefs are not far from where they were in the early 70's as far as war/peace, discrimination, gender issues, and the fact that nobody, NOBODY in this world should be hungry, nobody! There is plenty. It is a matter of getting it to our folks. Anyhow, at this point, flowers in my hair usually means I did not duck when I crossed in front of or under a bush or tree.

I love Bonnie, that you are finding out if you like Rich's look. I remember once when a friend of mine shaved his beard, that I could not stop laughing, (nice manners hu?) I just could not believe that he looked so different.

Going out for a long ride with a friend, (bikes) write more later.

dee

[mpsmom]

Good Morning, I would like to post a picture of Sherry's Little Lisa and Dear Davey.  I spent a little time the other day trying to help Sherry post pictures to no avail, she has vista and a photo program I have never worked with so instead she sent pics to me and I will post them for her. 

This first one is so special to Sherry becasue she does not have many pictures of Lisa.  Enjoy... they are darlings.

Hugs, Marcia   Bethanys Mom Forever

[mpsmom]

Here is one of Sherry's 'little Dave" I don't know how old he is , Sherry will have to fill us in on the details.  Sherry I hope this brings sunshine to you this morning to be able to share your children with us all, after six years...   HUGS !!

[mamabets]

Hi mpsmom~ Here is one of Davey, older!! I, too, hope this brings a smile to Sherry's face- She has hung on to all here for so long, and she has been incredible to me on my journey...

Much love always~

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from here, there and everywhere

[heartbeataway]

Greg,

The first time Rich shaved his mustache, we were in Hawaii. He thought he was having trouble snorkeling with us because of it.

So he went into the bathroom at the hotel and shaved it. When he came out, it was met with "roll on the floor" laughter.

Too funny! 

I'm getting used to it ....... I'm not sure he is!

Bonnie

[heartbeataway]

Sherry,

Love seeing pictures of your children.  Marcia, how sweet of you to help!

Two beautiful angels ......

Bonnie

[mamabets]

For Bonnie~ LOLOL- Do you think Rich is going to grow it back???? Danny used to have a short beard/mustache, and when he would shave it off, which was quite often, LOL, you could not even really notice- Probably because he was with it one week, without it the next!!

WHOA- The whole body hair hangup, LOL, with his generation!! I am not kidding- Just  grab the wax strips and someone to help and get ready for the screams that I would hear, followed by laughter!!

Much Love~

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from  here, there and everywhere

[lolynbo]

JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE LOCAL TV WILL BE AT KOURTNEYS KLOSET THURSDAY AT 230...I NO I WONT BE ABLE TO SPEAK , CUZ I WILL CRY...MAYBE MONTY CAN DO IT..

[shorty16]

Mamabets

I do not know your beautiful son, but I see you joined BI a while ago, must be coming to back to visit old friends.

I am Colleen, 1 year into this journey.  My 16 year old was killed car-surfing on 6-19-08.  Still hurts, but we are getting along.

Love the picture of your boy, he must be a bit older than 16 when he became an angel?

Colleen

[briansdad]

[user=20150]shorty16[/user] wrote:

Greg

Do you still have your Brian's 2001 Chevy Cavalier?

Colleen

Yep I still do. It needs some work but I do what I can.

[mamabets]

For Colleen~ I am so very, very, very sorry to be meeting you under such a veil of sadness, but I welcome you into my heart and will try to help you along your journey, as so many have helped me.

My Danny was 25 when he left this life walk, and went to be with so many beautiful angels. He was in a terrible accident with no witnesses, so as to what truly happened we will never know. He was in the middle of a 3 lane highway and was hit by a semi truck, yet did go on to save 5 lives in organ donation. Whether he chose not to move, or was hurt deliberately by someone, is something that my daughter and I have struggled with, yet we both know that by the time we get to where he is, it will not matter. We do not need to know any more details.

I do know this. I don't know how I EVER got through the earlier days of this walk without the people on this website. Greg, Sherry, Carol, Dee, among so many others were with me during my darkest hours, as I was with them. For whatever reason, there is a bond that links parents that have lost children, and it must be because it is life's greatest cross to bear.

Life continues to remind us of this every waking minute of every single day, yet when joy returns, and laughter happens, it most clearly does... You WILL laugh again.. You WILL find joy, and you WILL hear the beating of your heart once again. I can promise you this. But, I must say as well, that out of nowhere when you think that you are making progress, you often "feel" that you are not. It is normal, and you get used to the slam upside your head...

You are making progress. You are here opening the raw part of your soul. Stick with this, stick with this, stick with this....

I have been everywhere, it appears, but here. It does not mean that I have ever "left", because all that know me, know that I haven't. My life has continued to throw me many curves, and what I AM realizing now is that I have found some sort of coping skills again. They are different, they are foreign, yet they are real.

Danny's passing is a part of his life. It is a huge part of who he became as a young man. I celebrate him in ways that I never could dream anyone doing, much less myself. I come from a HUGE family, and this was the one thing that was never going to happen, simply because it hadn't, and then it did...

I feel him everywhere, and he makes me smile. He didn't die, I did, and there is a wonderful parent that somewhere, right now, is losing a child and doesn't even know it yet. It is a HUGE club, and a membership that nobody wants to be a part of. Pure and simple,  in a word, torturous...

I often say... Time takes time. I have said it on a regular basis since the fateful night  that rocked me to my core, but I know for a fact that our kids are all together, and that we are all better people for surviving this together, one minute at a time.

The kindness that radiates through open wounds can often be miraculous.

Bless your heart, for this is early for you. BUT, you are here, and you have made me feel better just by reaching out.

Much Love~

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from here, there and everywhere

[ericasmom]

WOW Betsey, you have been down a road and along that road, you have found so much. Thanks for sharing with our Newest Family Members and with us old-salts. I love that you have found that you can assure others that you will laugh again, you will find joy again, love that. Was a time in your early days that you were unsure of that, as we all were, but here you are knowing and sharing that the process is one that will take you to a new world in which to live and love again, and there is work along the way to get there. God bless you Betts, and I agree, our Babies are together.

Lorri, how cool to have so much attention on Kourtney's Kloset this week, and while I know it is with less discussion of who Kourt is, it is in her good name that so much good is happening.

Peace All,

dee

[ericasmom]

Marcia, you are a doll-baby to have helped Sherry with the gorgeous photos of both Lisa and Davey.

Sherry, the Kids are beautiful, pure heart showing through.

love,

dee

[mikesmum]

Betsey (Rich's mom) -  Do we say their names, yes we do.  Mike died, but he also lived.  Love the story of being 'out of gas'.  Just few problems with the rationale (lol).  Its a parent thing.

I always believed Mike was the 'good child', he was no saint, but  never gave me a hard time.  Speaking to Mikes friends & his siblings since his passing the story is a little different.  I can imagine Mike laughing on a cloud as the tales are told.   

Dee - I still see you with flowers in your hair, perhaps a halo design of white daisies.  At least that's what I'll be looking for in August.

Colleen - tell me more about this yellow shirt, I'm intrigued.

Lorri - Kourtneys Kloset being under such a larger umbrella group, her story gets lost in the work they do.  Hope your baby girl gives you the strength to tell her story and your involvement with the Kloset.  Either way - say her name, let them know!

Marcia, Bets - such  kind hearts, but I knew that. 

Sherry - The pictures of your babies shows us another part of your story.  Lisa is just gorgeous, love the hand holding and the 'ahhhhhh' she seems to be saying.  Davey is handsome.  I remember those rompers!

Small hiccup this week.  Muttley the wonder dog saw Mal walking towards him on down the main street here.  He broke his leash but didn't run directly to Mal instead taking a detour into traffic.  I screamed 'stop' and he dropped down on the middle white line.  Sight of the week, old lady crying holding one shaking puppy in the middle of the road. Too much for the old girl I'm afraid. :shock:

We have recovered and even though its freezing we will be walking today.  Need to keep going.....

Trudi

 

[ericasmom]

Mutley needs to watch out, perhaps a movie on how to walk across the street Mutley. Yikes, sorry that you had that scare and I am so glad that he and you all are well.

love ya

[mpsmom]

Oh Trudi, I am so sorry for the scare that Mutley put you through.  Our little dogs don't know what cars can do, we live on a private road and they hardly ever see cars, they run right across to the grassy area to do their business... They are our 'babies' and I know how upset you must have been, so glad you are both OK. 

Marcia     Bethany's Mom Forever

[daveydow1]

Marcia & Betsy (Danny's mom).....Oh.....Thank you so very

much for posting my kids photos. Someday, maybe I'll learn

how to do it myself . The software I have is quite complicated.

David is age 30 in his 'grownup' photo. He is 4 yrs. old in the

pic of him standing at the back door of the church after he had

gone to Sunday school. (Cool shorts w/straps, huh?....He hated

that photo, but I liked it.)  Lisa Kaye is just about 4 or 5 mo.

in her photo.....only about a mo. or so before she died. Thanks

again for all your help. 

Sherry

[daveydow1]

Trudi,----Sorry about the bad scare you had with your pup, Muttly, but am so

glad that he is ok. Hope Muttly remembers that bad experience, and doesn't

try that again.  Peace to you. Rompers/shorts for little boys.....were'nt they cute?

 

Betsy(momofrich).....So sorry you are feeling 'glum' lately. "Glum" is a perfect

word to describe the feeling of sadness. Hoping that you will be feeling a bit

better soon.

Greg---Too too funny......you shaving off your mustache, and Brian crying the

first time he saw it.

Bonnie,---Thanks for your kind words. Yes, it was so KIND of Marcia to help me.

We were on the phone a good while, and I never got to the point that I could

post the pics myself, but I WAS able to email them to her (also Betsy) and they

were so kind to post them for me. I have a LOT to learn about the photoshop

software which I have :?.

Lorrie,----Good news that the TV station will visit Kourtney's Kloset. You'll do fine..

Peace & tranquility to all here at BI.

 

 

[mysonrich]

Sherry, your children are so cute !  It's nice to see pictures of our kids don't you think? And I like the little suspender shorts. There're cute too !

[summergirl]

Sherry - your children are adorable and I am so glad that Marcia helped you to post them!!   I have windows vista and I use the windows photo gallery - I download my pics from a disc (have a laptop) and when I want to post a pic I go to Browse at the bottom of the post page (here) and then go into photo gallery and click on the one I want and it puts it in the browse automatically - am I confusing you more??  You should ask Dan or Greg as they seem to be the computer experts!!

mamabets - what a wonderful wonderful thing to open up BI and there you are!! Always here and never far away but I have missed your wise words, your sweet self. So glad you are back among us!! 

Lorrie - I am so happy to hear that the local tv is going to be at Kourtney's Kloset!!  I know it must be hard for you to think about talking but maybe it would be a good thing, to be able to talk about how it came about - in rememberence of your beautiful Kourtney, her generous spirit and loving heart. I know having her here is what you want but Kourtney's Kloset is "KOURTNEY" and she smiles every time someone walks through the door.  God Bless you my friend.

Trudi - poor Muttley - who was more scared? you or him??  It sort of is like a child is it not, you do not know whether to scream for them to stop or not and then when they are safe you do not know whether to hug them or yell at them!!!!  I am just so happy that all turned out well and maybe Dee is right and Muttley needs to watch a documentary on "Crossing the street alone"!!

Very tired tonight - hot and humid today and much work was done. I will leave you all with this, it is a line from a song I heard -

When I bow my head tonight there will be no me, myself or I.  Instead I will bow my head and give thanks for all here at BI - where would I be without you.  Peace and Love - Kathy 

[heartbeataway]

On the subject of posting pictures, I sometimes use a program called Photobucket.

I had used it to share photos and then it was either Carol or Trudi that shared the ability to post pictures within the posting.

That's how I posted the 4th of July picture.

It's also a place where you can resize pictures.

Just an idea .....

How many folks are going to be at the reunion?

Dee, Colleen, Marcia, Trudi, Bonnie, ....... who else is coming?

[ericasmom]

Good Morning All,

going to tutor soon, and off to a shopping thing with Jon husband and Jon's girl and we will have lunch. AFterward, I will stop in here to see what is up,  hope all is good.

Love,

dee

PS Bonnie, We are getting to Minnesota on the 14th and only staying the weekend. But I am looking forward to it very much.

[mamabets]

For Ericasmom~ Another ERIFEST... Does it seem possible?? No, it does not, but I am so proud to have you as one of my loved ones in my heart. Your strength and courage, not to mention another loss for you and Jon in losing Michael. Another angel, yes, and how wonderful that you all shared in this together.

Enjoy your day, and I am sending you much love, always...

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from here, there, and everywhere

[hotsauce]

Hi everyone,

my name is Mary Ann and I am new to this site, but my only son BRIAN, died on May 1, 2009 of leukemia. I miss he so much.  Reading some of your stories just breaks my heart for each and every one of you.  I am sorry we all are here, but I hope we can all help each other. 

sending out a like of hugs for all of us

hotsauce

[briansdad]

[user=33864]hotsauce[/user] wrote:

Hi everyone,

my name is Mary Ann and I am new to this site, but my only son BRIAN, died on May 1, 2009 of leukemia. I miss he so much.  Reading some of your stories just breaks my heart for each and every one of you.  I am sorry we all are here, but I hope we can all help each other. 

sending out a like of hugs for all of us

hotsauce

Sorry you have to come here but this is a good place for help. Another Brian.....

My sons name was Brian too. Hang in there the road is a rough one but maybe we can help you navigate around some of the pot holes.

Greg

[mamabets]

For briansdad~ For you, my dear friend... This week I have "met" another Danny for my Danny, and another Brian for our dear Brian...

It feels good to be back here. A safe harbor, as we all try to navigate. It is all so, so, so heartfelt~

We must chat soon. Life is what it is, I am doing very well, I have come to believe that there can be a certain kind of peace that returns to stay, and I am holding on tight.

Life is good, and we are all here together for a reason.

 

My love to all of you, always~

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from here, there and everywhere

[mamabets]

For hotsauce~ My dear God.. Those early, early days. My heart sinks when the new people show up, for this walk does get very "old", and life is altered forever.

Having said that, please know that there are many, many, many sweet angels that surround your sweet Brian, and they are all making sure that you are safe and will be guided by so many here, as you journey on. This website saved my sanity early on, and I have told everyone that I know about my Beyond Indigo family.

My Danny was 25 years old when he departed from here in June of 2004. I have often said "He didn't die, I did"

Here I sit, five years later, and life has been given to me again. I laugh, I cry, I remember it all. I have danced with my dogs that have departed too, I have danced with my grand babies. It becomes a mixture of so many things, that only those of us that have been dealt this can understand.

I can promise you this... Life can and will return to you and your happier days with Brian will be what get you through the majority of it. Memories that we all love to share~

Please stay with us here, and I, along with everyone that can, will help you. This is a family... A family that understands you no matter what.

Much love~

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from here, there and everywhere

[lolynbo]

HOME TODAY...I AHVE POISON IVY AND WENT TO THE DERMATOLOGIST AND GOT A SHOT...IM SUPPOSE TO HAVE 3 LIL GIRLS (NEICES) OVER FOR SLUMBER PARTY TONIGHT....HOEP ALL GOES WELL...I THINK WE WILL DO A PJ RUN TO WALMART TONIGHT...AND SWIM...LATER...PRAY IT GOES WELL

[mamabets]

For summergirl~ Thanks so much for the welcome back... I have never "left", just had to find my way. With the help of many, I have, and I HOPE that this new browser doesn't kick up!!

LOLOL

30 years old... Danny turned 30 in October, and it was huge. It was joyous, yet I felt as if I had not seen him since he was 5. An odd mix of emotions,  my little boy all grown up into a fine, fine, fine young man and friend. My son... I am so very proud of all that he once was, and all that he is today~

Kisses to little Tav~ I hope that you are enjoying all that you can this summer... Grab the miracles in it, and run~

Much Love~

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from here, there and everywhere

[shorty16]

 

Greg, Brian's Dad said:  Yep I still do. It needs some work but I do what I can.

We still drive our 2001 Chevy Cavalier.  Since our Brian cut off the mufflers, we can hear the car coming and going - pretty funny

That little car is fun to drive - sad, but fun.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[mysonrich]

Hello Mary Ann, Welcome to BI and I am so sorry for your loss. I am 6  months into this "journey" . My son died on 01/18/2009 from a cardiac dysrhythmia . He was 20.

If you have been reading you know that there are many here that can help you along this road. At anytime, we are here.

 

[shorty16]

Hotsauce - Thinking of your Brian, how old was he.  My Brian was 16 when he died.  I would love to hear about your son.

Mamabets - Thank you so much for responding and filling me in on your beautiful son.  We are still experiencing firsts, even after a year has passed.  We wnt to a wedding, my daughter Michelle was Maid-of-honor.  We missed our Brian so much, we cried, laughted, and did have a great time, but it seems a sadness just looms over us - Will that go away?

Lorri - Are you rolling around in the fields?  Is that why you have poison ivy?  Never had it, but I can imagine it is not fun.  So happy about the press Koutneys Kloset is receiving.  Instead of 15 minutes of fame your Kourtney has had alot more than that because of you. - Great work

Trudi - My shirt is a pale yellow, short sleeve T-shirt, with Beyond Indigo stenciled on the left (over my heart) and a rhinestone swirl going through the word.  I did it myself, it was fun.  I will wear it Thursday to pick the other Moms up from the airport.  You are a hero saving Muttley from the big bad cars.

Mysonrich - I also love seeing the pictures, but are horrible at posting.  I now have an account in Photobucket and have been through the posting one time.  Practice makes purfect.

Colleen

[mamabets]

For shorty16~ I would be dishonest if I said that things "go away..."

They don't, BUT, what happens, is that if you walk with this grief, feel it, scream it, cry it, think with it and embrace all of it, life will find you again and absolutely hand you gifts that you never would have thought of.  For me, I found that in sharing this part of my life with those that embraced it with me, I have been able to live Danny's legacy. I am still his mother, and I will for all eternity, be. I have collapsed, sure, but it has been quite awhile now and I am in the throws of yet another life change that could have me spinning, but does not.

I look at all of the good people that have come forth throughout this ordeal, and I have weeded out those that opted not to. That helped... I no longer made excuses for people that didn't "feel..."

People are different, and people live their lives differently, no matter what happens throughout the course...

The things that you would want to "go away" today, will one day become a part of Brian's entire life story. He lives on, may you never lose sight of that. He left his mark and touched many lives, I have no doubt.

The pain softens over time. The hard blow becomes something that you either surrender to, or it will find a way to control your life. Fortunately, I was able to surrender from the very first day, and I can NOT tell you why. I did not do anything differently than many in some areas, and I did things very differently in others. There is no book written about you and your Brian, and there is no right or wrong way. My only advice is that you go with all of your feelings as much as you can and share them with those that you are living with. And, come to Beyond Indigo.

Much Love~

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from here, there and everywhere

[mamabets]

For daveydow1~ Hi Sherry!! I am so happy that I was able to help in getting Davey's picture up- I have a few more as well!!

I hope that you are doing OK- I am, and I will, do this. Life gets longer, each day is showing me more and more signs that peace and happiness are paramount, and possible~

Let's talk soon~ Please, no need to worry, for I am really doing well... I promise!! Had a wonderful 9 days with Jackie and the kids, and I even tried to fish!! VERY windy, so I then just decided to wrestle with the waves and hang out on the inner tube with Julia!!!

I will be heading back there soon, for sure!!

Much Love~

mamabets and Danny, her little wink from here, there and everywhere

[lolynbo]

JUST GOT OUR CRUISE PACKETS....THE TEARS FLOWING BECAUSE KOURTNEYS NAME ISNT ON THERE AND NIETHER IS KIMBERLYS...SO STUPID I NO BUT JUST SO EMOTIONAL LATELY I DONT NO Y...EVERYTHING MAKES ME CRY ABOUT HER...THINKING ABOUT WHAT SHE DID MAKES ME CRY THINKING ABOUT HER BEING GONE MAKES ME CRY,, WHAT SHE WENT THROUGH MAKES ME CRY, WHAT WE WENT THROUGH MAKES ME CRY...EVERY DAMN THING ALL THE TIME LATLEY..

OH AND PPL DONT THINK FOR A MINUTE I WAS ON TV WITH THE INTERVIEW....TOO BIZZY CRYIN...CANT DO IT, NEITHER COULD MONTY..

[daveydow1]

(mysonrich)----Betsy,Thanks for your kind words Re: my kids' pictures----so kindly

posted by Marcia, and Betsy (dannysmom). Yes, I agree---it is very nice to see all

the pics of everyone's kids/families. It helps all of us get to 'know' each other better.

Not too sure----but I believe that 6 yrs. ago, no one posted pics, because the old

format of BI didn't have the capability. (Does anyone remember how the site

was back then ?). The little blue shorts with suspenders of Davey's pic at 4 yrs. age

 was one of my favs.(But----he would literally groan whenever the pic came out .

Kathy----Oh.....thanks for the suggestion for posting from Windows Photo Gallery.

I certainly will try it. You are not confusing me----(I'm already confused .) Thanks

for your kind words about Davey & Lisa's photos. Soooooo glad to finally have

them on the site.....(thanks to Marcia, and dannysmom, Bets).

Maryann----I am sorry for your loss of your dear son, Brian. I hope you will continue

to come to BI and read/post as you feel up to it. You will find parents who are at

all stages on this tough and lousy journey we are on. I am at the 6 yr. stage, along

with Dee, and dannysmom, Betsy, and Greg.  Bi has been a lifesave for me. My son

 David was killed by a sleeping driver 6/2003.  Nowhere else can one find the love

 and understanding that is here at BI. My prayers are for you that you may find

 strength and comfort in the days and weeks ahead, and be warmed by your

 memories ofyour dear son, Brian.

   Daveysmom, Sherry

 

[mpsmom]

Here is another of Sherry's pictures of her son Davey...

[daveydow1]

Marcia----Oh----Thanks for posting the pic of Davey and me. ( Good pic of

Dave---not so great of one for me---oh well .  I will give the Win Photo

Gallery a try, that Kathy suggested. Who knows ????  Maybe I'll surprise

myself. LOL

Sherry  

[mikesmum]

Maryanne - I'm so sorry for the loss of your Brian.  You are right, our stories are heartbreaking and with each new parent that finds there way here our hearts ache for you knowing the journey you have begun.

BI is the place where our heart break is wrapped in an understanding and care that can sometimes be missing in our lives.  Its where we share the lives of our children, not just that last day.  Its where you can find a place to speak of your pain knowing you are not alone.  

Please tell us more about your Brian when you are able.   

Trudi