I Miss Him So...

[aprilmoonflower]

ahh! that sucks! I know someone who did chemo and took it. it may depend on the type of chemo though!  I have also used it myself. (nasty stuff!) maybe you can just save it for afterwards? don't stress!!!!

[missyouhoney811]

Hi everyone, it's been awhile since I have posted. The past few weeks I have just been weird.......not sad........not depressed just different. I have no idea what is up with me.

Linda, my heart goes out to you. As always you are in my prayers. I can't tell you to be strong because in my book you have been a Super Women dealing with all that you have been through. God bless and take care until you are 100% better. Although, I have not been posting I do read daily and I worry about you. My candles are flickering here for you.

This month has been exciting. I had a Echocardiogram and a repeat Colonoscopy on Friday. A few tissue samples were taken for biopsy. I trust my doctor and he stated he would get back with the results this week. I was very sick for three days after the Colonoscopy...........medication reaction.

April, it was so funny that you mentioned a cruise. Last Wednesday I booked a 9 day cruise leaving on 7/3/08 returning 7/12/08. I am going with my sisters and brother-in-laws.  It will be a 9 Night Canada & New England Cruise. It should be enjoyable just being with my sisters.

Remember to wear red this Friday for Heart Day........

God Bless and take care.

Dorothy

[rodless]

Linda, think positive! I don't know anyone who managed to keep their hair but I do know people who didn't get throwing up sick. We'll pray you're one of them! I know from watching Rod how hard it is to cope with all the restrictions. We were told one of the most dangerous things to touch is the handle of a grocery cart. Doorknobs are another. He wore thin gloves whenever he went out. Keep us posted because we really care!! Mary Jo

[aprilmoonflower]

my friend who did chemo while on essiac did not lose all her hair. it thinned but it didn't all fall out by any means. her cancer was not breast cancer though but in the uterus. she also wasn't very sick and still worked full time! (she was a woman I used to work with actually when I was a hair stylist)

[aprilmoonflower]

Dorothy-LOL on the cruise! I hope you biopsy comes back clear too! I bet it will, is this just all prevenitive? anyway glad to hear you are well! I wondered where you had been!

 

Maryjo- door handles. icck! I bet they are full of stuff!

[missyouhoney811]

HELP! I was trying to post a new picture from PR.........what did I do wrong?

[misshimstill]

I learned this when my mother and brother were going through chemo at the same time...  The older you are, the less likely you are to have the side effects normally associated with chemo.  The chemo attacks the fast-growing cells in our bodies, which are the hair, blood and digestive, which is why hair falls out, blood counts drop and people get nauseated.  The cancer cells are fast-growing cells, which is why the chemo targets the fast-growing cells.  Older people's fast-growing cells slow down, so that is why they suffer these side effects less than younger people.  So... hope you're "old enough" to not be affected too much.    This is one time when you can be thankful that you're older!

[lindat]

April,  I really believe that Essiac works and I look forward to resuming it when the radiation is done.   I expect that I will be just as vigilant with my eating and nutrition - as I was before all this treatment because I don't ever want it back again!!!   The nurse was really emphatic about the hair loss yesterday because of the drugs that they have me taking, I'll go wig shopping this week.  The nurse gave me a script for a wig, not sure if it will be covered but we'll try.  My sister is real anxious to buy my wig, I am uneasy about that

Dorothy,  I was wondering where you are, glad to hear from you again.  Good luck with your results.  The cruise sounds like GREAT fun!!!

They are so much better with controlling the symptoms now than they were even 5 years ago, that hopefully the nausea won't be much of a problem - but there is that extra 50 pounds that I would like to lose.....

MJ,  I am trying to think positive, and sometimes I come close.  I have 2 strong chemo drugs and another drug named Herceptin, but they also mix drugs in the IV that keep nausea to a minimum, so far so good.  I'm cool with losing my hair, it is the least of my problems for right now.  I think I will do okay with the restrictions, but I have to remember them.  I do wash my hands alot already from working in the restaurant - but I also know too much from working in a restaurant to chance eating in one.   This too will pass....

[mishknit]

linda....

you're attitude is so great, i am in awe! and whilei know you're afraid of what your sister may PICK for a wig..if you're with her and trying them, on then let her PAY for the wig! win-win situation! i am so sorry for all you're going thru, and think of you all the time.

i havern't posted much lately either, been busy, but i read daily.

Anna, i loved your snow pics, and the one with the birds..that would be nice on a card for sale at your shop.

Dorothy..hope your biopsy is fine. and just a hint, because of what i've been thru. i've had several procedures in my life where i had to be given a mild sedative that put me out for a small amount of time. they usually give a double shot of demerol and, sorry..can't remember the other thing starts with a c. ANYWAY....i had a colonoscopy a few months ago and was talking to the nurse about the fact i alwys get so sick after these things, and she said it was the demerol, and they gave me something else and I was fine after! so....maybe ask about that.

and that new cruise sounds great..i'd love to go on one...maybe someday!

ugh..this new format where you can't see other posts drives me nuts!

anyway..i hope you're all well,

hugs to all, and, as always,

peace.,

michele

[lindat]

Thanks Michele, actually the deal was that she gets to pick it out if she pays for it.  Perhaps it won't be green or purple.  She does have to go out with me sometimes, so common sense should prevail.   BTW - thanks for the attitude comment, I have felt really whiney lately...

[grannyc]

 Linda, you are such an example of strength and determination, I appreciate you sharing it with all of us.  You inspire us!  AND, are in my prayers!    Remember, one of the dirtyest (that's not spelled right is it?) Oh Well, we own is our "Purses"~~Think of all the places we put them and then pick them up and away we go.   If you use them keep them disinfected with WetOnes or the like.

I, too am in the Great Upper MidWest, Minnesots. We are already at -25 with a windchill of -47.  Our wind is unbelievable just to listen to.  Was suppose to be my night for my Grief Group.  But, decided the 25 miles I drive was enough to make me just want to stay in with a blanket over me and crochet. tsk

I think I am realizing as hard as it was to leave my employ with my son and his Meat Locker it has been the best thing for me.  My back is abit better, and for some reason, emotionally I feel lighter.  Maybe its being down to just one job. . . .My days are abit better.  Christmas was so hard this year, last I was probably on auto pilot.  It took me until about a week ago to recover from the Holidays.

The 10th of Feb. will be 19 months for me.   How did I live this long with all the pain we go through.  HuH?  Thanks everyone! sometimes in my darkest times I read and will not post, not sure why.(?)

My best to all!   (((Linda)))

Sincerely, GrannyCheryl

[grannyc]

 Linda, thought this was funny, I signed off last night checked my e-mail and this was a e-mail forward I received:

Have you  ever noticed gals who sit their handbags on public toilet

floors, then go directly to their dining tables and set it on the table?

Happens a lot!

It's not always the 'restaurant food' that causes stomach distress. 

Sometimes 'what you don't know will hurt you'!

Read on.............

Mom got so upset when guests came in the door and plopped their handbags

down on the counter where she was cooking or setting up food. She always

said that handbags are really dirty, because of where they have been.

 It's something just about every woman carries with them. While we may

know what's inside our handbags, do you have any idea what's on the

outside? Women carry handbags everywhere; from the office to public

toilets to the floor of the car. Most women won't be caught without

their handbags, but did you ever stop to think about where your handbag

goes during one day.

"I drive a school bus, so my handbag has been on the floor of the bus

a lot," says one woman. "On the floor of my car, and in toilets." 

"I put my handbag in grocery shopping carts and on the floor of the

toilet," says another woman "and of course in my home which should

be clean."

We decided to find out if handbags harbor a lot of bacteria. We learned

how to test them at Nelson Laboratories in Salt Lake , and then we set

out to test the average woman's handbag.

Most women told us they didn't stop to think about what was on the

bottom of their handbag. Most said at home they usually set their

handbags on top of kitchen tables and counters where food is prepared.

Most of the ladies we talked to told us they wouldn't be surprised if

their handbags were at least a little bit dirty.

It turns out handbags are so surprisingly dirty, even the microbiologist

who tested them was shocked.

Microbiologist Amy Karen of Nelson Labs says nearly all of the handbags

tested were not only high in bacteria, but high in harmful kinds of

bacteria. Pseudomonas can cause eye infections, staphylococcus aurous

can cause serious skin infections, and salmonella and e-coli found on

the handbags could make people very sick.

In one sampling, four of five handbags tested positive for salmonella,

and that's not the worst of it. "There is fecal contamination on the

handbags" says Amy.  Leather or vinyl handbags tended to be cleaner than

cloth handbags, and lifestyle seemed to play a role.  People with kids

tended to have dirtier handbags than those without,  with one exception.

The handbag of one single woman who frequented nightclubs had one of the

worst contaminations of all. "Some type of feces, or possibly vomit"

says Amy.

So the moral of this story is that your handbag won't kill you, but it

does have the potential to make you very sick if you keep it on places

where you eat.  

Use hooks to hang your handbag at home and in toilets, and don't put it

on your desk, a restaurant table, or on your kitchen countertop.

*********************************************Food for Thought? GrannyCheryl

[lindat]

Good Morning Cheryl!!!

Thank you so much for taking the time to post to me - you made some really good points.   Truth is, I don't carry a purse - now I am pretty sure I never will.  Besides the fact that there was never a safe place to keep a purse, working in a restaurant, it is best not to carry a bag or you run the risk of being accused of taking stuff out.   As a result, if I try to take a purse, I leave it wherever I go.   After reading your post, I put away my stuffed animal, cleaned my keyboard and my cell phone

Hope everyone has a great day!

Linda 

 

[missyouhoney811]

I remember when I worked in Traffic and City Court the police officers would come around and use whatever phone was available.  I simply hated when they would pick up my receiver so I use to disconnect the receiver from the phone and take it with me.  Lord knows I did not need nor want the germs they were carrying on them especially after they would put the criminals in the lock up.  They got the hint.

God Bless,

Dorothy

[grannyc]

:shock: You were on my mind alot today, Linda.  For me that is to remind God you have a need.    You truly sound like you have a handle on all you are going through.   I just wish you didn't have it right there looking you in the face.  Keep up your great attitude and know many here are caring and praying!

Cheryl:P

[aprilmoonflower]

I posted this on my blog earlier today (saw it on another message board and was reminded how much I love this passage!) I thought some of you might like it here too. This is a meditation on kindness. A teaching of  the Buddha.

Metta Sutta

This is what should be accomplished by the one who is wise,

Who seeks the good, and has obtained peace.

Let one be strenuous, upright and sincere,

Without pride, easily contented and joyous.

Let one not be submerged by the things of this world.

Let one not take upon oneself the burden of riches.

Let one's senses be controlled.

Let one be wise but not puffed up and

Let one not desire great possessions even for one's family.

Let one do nothing that is mean or that the wise would reprove.

May all beings be happy.

May they be joyous and live in safety,

All living beings, whether weak or strong,

In high or middle or low realms of existence.

Small or great, visible or invisible,

Near or far, born or to be born,

May all beings be happy.

Let no one deceive another nor despise any being in any state.

Let none by anger or hatred wish harm to another.

Even as a mother at the risk of her life

Watches over and protects her only child,

So with a boundless mind should one cherish all living things.

Suffusing love over the entire world,

Above, below, and all around, without limit,

So let one cultivate an infinite good will toward the whole world.

Standing or walking, sitting or lying down,

During all one's waking hours,

Let one practice the way with gratitude.

Not holding to fixed views,

Endowed with insight,

Freed from sense appetites,

One who achieves the way

Will be freed from the duality of birth and death.

[Error username not found]

[aprilmoonflower]

baca- I'm sorry! your reason is your son! and the love you shared. I know it sucks. (((I hear you.)))

[Error username not found]

thanx.. and the only reason i didnt let myself die when he did is my son. the only reason i live is my son. but i mean by waiting...  i mean waiting for my bf. the man in your life. you wait around endlessly knowing he will never show up. at least other people have an idea of how long they will wait. i hope to live long for my son. also.. little signs are everything to me. its knowing my bf is RIGHT there but i cant have him. i love signs..but they make me miss him even more.. but i DO really love them.

today me and my son and my mother were watching ratatouille <(however u spell it) and the guy kissed the girl..so my mother says " ohh look ..he kissed the girl" to my son and then i said to my son "can i have a kiss?" and he said  .."::babble..babble:: a kiss! un beso!" and i said "WHAT DID U JUST SAY?!?" AND HE SAID "...a kiss... un..un beso." and started laughing. for those of you who dont know un beso means a kiss in spanish. i dont speak spanish and my family doesnt either. the only person who spoke spanish to my son is my bf. also theres this song called un beso that my bf dedicated to me and i just seriously couldnt believe that he said that. i love my bf and ill wait forever.. its just that my whole body actuaslly aches thinking of being w/out him for the rest of my life. i never knew what longing was until i had to long for him. goodnight.

[Error username not found]

[aprilmoonflower]

aww that is such a sweet picture! I totally know how you feel. I used to tell DH I hope I could die before him. well that didn't happen. I'm still here though. so are you! it sucks! but life goes on (unfortunately, it feels like at times). I think being 20 makes things worse cause no one you know (your age) can likely relate to what you are going through! which sucks even worse. at least you can come here! we understand! (even though we are all older, well minus missque)

[aprilmoonflower]

Linda- if I had to be wary of my immune sytem i think I would wear a mask (seriously I would!) anyway just an idea. then all the sick people will know to stay away. I used to work in a hair salon and we used to get people that would wear them so I don't think it's all that uncommon? hope you feel better today.

 

as for the wig, purple and green! oh my! I bet she picks blonde or red! lol.

[Error username not found]

i used to tell my bf the same thing. =C.i miss those days but im happy that he died before me because i would rather me deal with this than have him feel the way i do. i love him too much to want him to go through this =). but i dont feel like i have noone. i have my sister and i have you guys! i dont care how old or young any of you are. it doesnt even cross my mind. im going to bed now so ill tty all tomorrow. goodnight everyone.

[airymoon]

linda- my friend with lung cancer had the shot to boost her bone marrow too. She said her bones ached. It wasnt pain that hurt to move just an ache from the inside out. she used heating pads to ease some of the more sore areas. You will have to be careful about illnesses because your immune system is weakened. Hang in there you can do this

Becky

[aprilmoonflower]

Hi Becky! How are you doing???

 

g'night Baca- I need to get off here and get to work (writing) the only time I can work anymore is at night when the kids sleep! but I'm tired!!!! wahhhh! single momdom is almost as hard as widowdom. ugh!

[lindat]

Hi Becky,  How soon did the symptoms start after the shot?  I was sick in bed all day yesterday - just achy.  They told me that I could expect arthritis type symptoms but not for a week or so.   Half of what they tell me isn't accurate, so I was wondering how soon it happened for your friend.   I had a really bad cold last week before the port was put in and now I have a sore throat, so not sure what is going on.   I am being very careful of germs and washing food etc.    Tbis sucks, but I can do it if I can just get some sleep.   Linda

[lindat]

April,  I doubt that I will be going out much, but don't have a problem wearing a mask if necessary.  It would be a bitch to get killed by pneumonia after going thru all this ****.  

You young moms amaze me - we all have such different burdens, yours is a special one.

Baca,  Your pain is overwhelming right now, but hang in there, I promise it will get easier one day.  Big hugs coming your way......

[mishknit]

linda...

we;re all here for you!

I see people walking around with masks all the time, and they're not michael jackson! I always assume that they are avoiding germs for their immune system. I think it would be a smart thing to do...take no chances!

Anna...

I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt that i met you but that you had short blonde hair. You had 2 children with you, a boy named benjamin, who, as i looked at him, grew older, and looked a lot like he would be the son of you and Ishaq. You also had a girl, another blonde, small and cute. I rememebr saying that benjamin was obviously your and ishaq's son, and you said no, but offered no explanation about that, but that the girl was your and ishaq's

daughter. I remember saying how iw ould have thought just the opposite and then...the alarm went off! Oh well...what it means i have no idea, but thought i'd tell you anyway while i still remembered it!

I have a huge day today...meeting at bank fro a refi on my mortgage ((Have to try with these rates!), tyhen meeting with my attorney for finalization of all my estate, health care directives, etc. it is so weird that i had to sigh someone other than my husband to have power of health care over me, someone elase to take care of my son...i hate it, and have been dragging my feet...but today it will be done, and that's good.

then tonite i have actuallly invited some friends over for dinner, which i seldom do...i tend to go out happily, but when i am home i'm a hermit.

it's a new year tho, and it's time to start bringing some joy back into this house...groups of people, parties, small dinners.....and it will also help me clean! lol!

Baca...Courtney....I feel your pain so much, i would love to just give you the biggest hug. We're all too young, no matter how old we are, to have this happen, but...20....sending you big hugs.

peace,

\michele

[missque]

So i kinda ran away from you all for a few days lol. I had a friend come up *its her reading week* and stay for a week and visit with friends. As nice as it was to have osmeone here at the same time i just wanted her to leave. its very awkward for me because all her friends that she hands out with are the ones who dont want anything to do with me anymore because 'its too awkward for them' since they dont know how to talk to me anymore. makes me feel like crap like theres something wrong with me even though i know theres not. my problem is that like no one my age understands. my one friend lost her sister a few months ago (murder) so she gets the feelings but other than that no one. the girl that came to visit is still my friend but i feel sorta the same with her- she made a comment not long after jer passed that i just sit around and talk about him all day and stuff- but like what the hell else am i supposed to do. i need to talk and talk until i can talk about it with out being sad and i need to smile and relive those memories as much as i can. anyways so i feel like i cant even say the word Jeremy aroundher. not to mention i felt like i had to be happy for the past week even when i didnt wanna be.

not to mention people keep asking me do you have a boyfriend yet no oh why not?? like its not even been a year go the hell away. its like they are like oh u mean ur not over it why not.. they dont get it how hard it is the pain deep in me. i even had someone say oh just likin the single days eh? an i just said yes to end the convo. its like are u freakin kiddin me? oh yea i just LOVE being single right now. as much as i'd never wish this kind of thing on anyone; at the same time i just wish they would all go through it so that they get it and know how it feels and just not make some comments.

Baca- as much a i can only imagine how it must be to be a single 20 yr old parent i cant help but envy you because you have that peice of your boyfriend left with you to continue on his legacy. As soon as i found our jer died i just wished i had a child with him so i could have that even though i know i would probably feel so much worse knowing id be going through it alone

[aprilmoonflower]

I can't imagine what you are going through (((Miss))). But one day I think it will make more sense maybe. I know that sounds so stupid but just wait and see. even though you hate to hear  it you are so young! THis isn't soemthing that should define you but it will help you become the woman you are. I think we all have our own private hells to deal with. it sucks.

[aprilmoonflower]

so I have a problem..

 

alanon is just not for me I don't think. everyone is nice and all. I don't think I can deal with the 12 step stuff when I just don't agree AT ALL!!! (ie;religion, higher power,etc) is there any other groups anyone knows of???? maybe I am just not understanding the point of alanon, but I am looking for validation not working through my dead husbands addiction step by step. acckk! they aren't MY issues (his addiction) I hate to be crass but why should I make them MINE? I actually feel alanon looks damaging to me at this point. seriously. I don't get it??? :shock: I guess I am more recovered than I thought.

[armaiti]

April - I've seen both good and bad come out of the twelve stuff groups..I've seen some people end up using the group as their new addiction - a friend's husband did that.  Maybe you should start a group of your own, unique to your own situation...just think about what you want to accomplish in it, and put up some flyers and see if you meet anyone else in a similar situation...I've been wanting to do that here, to get a group together who have lost their partners, but who are into more "alternative" beliefs. 

Miss, I know what you mean about how it sucks when someone asks you if you have someone new!  And I know it's worse for you because you are younger and people somehow are expectiing you to "move on faster." Well, you don't have to, until you are ready to!  I just started people who asked me if I had someone else yet that I'm still involved in an interdimensional relationship with Ishaq.  That shut them up.  (partly because some of them where trying to figure out what I meant and I could make a speedy getaway in the meantime).  And people can be cruel without meaning to because they are clueless, or scared, because if it happened to you it could happen to them.  I think a lot of the stupid things people say to us comes out of their own fear. 

Michele, wow, interesting dream!  I know I've had a few dreams that seem to be me and Ishaq together, but he at least looks different (there is never a mirror, so I don't know what I look like) and in these dreams it feels like I'm getting a glimpse of our next life together.  I know when I talk to him I tell him how I hope in our next life together we get to have a family and be together for a long and happy life...

By the way, the Palm Springs trip doesn't look like it's going to happen.  My friend just can't get enough time off work.  Sigh.  I was looking forward to meeting you AND looking forward to being in the sun for a week. But who knows...Ishaq's sister may be down that way in a few months, maybe I'll fly down or something.

Linda, I know you can't take a lot of supplements right now, but what about homeopathic remedies?  Have you asked your holistic doctor if any of those would help your immune system stay strong?  Since they work energetically it seems they would be safe.   Or getting reiki treatments? I'm just thinking of energetic treatments that might help ease the discomfort as well.

I see a lot of people wearing masks in Eugene, especially during allergy season, when the pollen count here is higher than just about anywhere in the country.  They come in colors too!

Snow is almost gone...just a strip across the street...back to rain to and cold...

Blessings,

Anna

[lindat]

Hi Anna,  The holistic dr. has given me lots of direction, but the oncologist will not allow me to take what he is suggesting.   She has a very closed mind and I have been told numerous times that I cannot take anything without her permission.  So far she is allowing a multi vitamin, vit c, glucosamine and chondroitin (?), and calcium.  I am trying to work within the rules, but getting very frustrated.   At the same time, I don't want to do anything that will screwn up the chemo either.    I am checking to see what I would have to do to get another oncologist that might be more open to the holistic approach.

We are expecting a huge snowfall sometime tonight.   I will be glad when spring is here.  Hope you have a great day.  Linda

[rodless]

Linda, my friend who just finished her first four chemo treatments adriamyiacin/cytoxin) had bad problems with bone aches after the first treament. Not so much after that. Your shot was probably neulasta...Rod had discomfort from that but tylenol actually helped. My friend starts her new weekly chemo thing today with herceptin (or whatever you said) tomoxicin & a study drug. This will go on for almost a year. It all sucks!! I'm praying hard as I can for you! Mary Jo

[lindat]

MJ - I am getting Herceptin with Taxotere and carboplatin - yes, the shot was neulasta.   My treatment with these drugs will last for 4 1/2 months - but the Herceptin goes on for a year or more.   Then I start radiation sometime in May for 6 weeks.  Not sure when I start the hormone drug (tamoxifen or something similar) but that will go on for 5 years.   Hopefully your friend won't be taking adriamyiacin and herceptin together - there has been problems with that combination.   I am feeling a little better today.   Thank you so much for your good thoughts and prayers, aren't we all so lucky to have found each other??    Linda

[missque]

So i was really sad today when i went grocery shoppin and i came home with so much crap including a roll of cookie dough to eat

i know it will get better because i learned that with my dad but its like my heart wont accept that ya no. i know it will be okay one day but at the smae time i cant accept that and i feel like im gonna hurt for him.

[missque]

This is a pic of Jer and his god son

he loved him to peices

[missque]

and another cuz its cute hehe... he loved him so much; Ethan (the baby) his mom went to a psychic and she told her lots of stuff about jer and ethan and stuff that we knew only someone who REALLY knew would know about- the accident and stuff.... she said that jer comes around all the time an plays with ethan and when u watch him you know its true. he will just sit and giggle and play with the air but we know its jer... if u show him a pic of jer he knows right away who it is and crawls towards it with a smile on his face.. just seeing him with ethan makes me smile because i know how much of an amazing father he would have been

[Error username not found]

those pics are so nice. also, sorry you didnt get the chance to have a baby with him. by the way, it looks like me and you are the "babies" on here lol.

what psychic did she go to???? im looking for a good one. i found a few..but ovcoarse..they charge $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.

anyone know of a good one?

[missque]

she went to one in Toronto. She had gone to a mornring show in Toronto where they happened to have one on the show and people got to ask questions. she didn't make it on tv cuz they ran outa time but she got to talk to her after the show was over. i e mailed her it wasnt too bad i think around 150 for an hour.

[armaiti]

My friend Gillian is a psychic, and she is very reasonable, I think its about $50 an hour for a reading with her.  Her website is http://www.mysticmessenger.net/mm/

She and I have been friends for almost twenty five years now, and I trust her to be a fair and honest person.  She does readings both in person and over the phone.

Another gray and rainy day in Oregon....

Blessings,

Anna

[Error username not found]

thanks everyone. anna, does she do readings to talk to spirits? im only asking because i checked out the website but i didnt see anything like that.

 anyway im trying to change my math class because the prof. is an ASSHOLE. he insulted someone from another country for no reason. the kid was asking a question because he was taught how to do something a different way and the prof. said "where are you? whos class are you in? are you in MY class??" and the kid said yes nicely beacause he didnt didnt understand that the prof. was being rude so then the prof. said "ok. well this is Queens, New York"..(already implying he isnt in his country anymore)..and then he said "where did u go to highschool??" and the kid answered "in my country" so then the prof. said "ook..so when your in YOUR country, you can do whatever you want, but when your here, in MY class.. you do it how I say" so then i said "THAT WAS SOO RUDE!". and other people started saying yeah..that was too much. and the prof. continued teaching as if nothing ever happened so now im leaving that class. hes talking to people like hes somehow better than them and it pissed me off.  ok well just thought id share that w/ u. ill ttyL. bye.

[mishknit]

Anna...

i am sad you're not coming here! dam!

and yes, it was a really interesting dream..so maybe you'll be a perky blonde in manolo's, with kids next time with Ishaq! what a fun thought! and i love your response to people..."interdimensional relationship"..i'm, sure 90% of people would give you a wide berth on that one!!! I may borrow it...ok??

missque..

jer is a doll. it's always so hard to see pics, just makes it all so much REALER...but i'm glad you shared them.

and good for you. courtney, for standing up to the prof.

it's interesting, how losing someone so important makes us so much bolder, less able to put up with bull and more likely to speak our minds. what have we got to lose, right?

anyway, just got in from a wedding rehearsal, and i am starving....so leftovers are in the microwave, a glass of wine is poured, and i'm wishing you all a good weekend...

peace, michele

[rodless]

Linda, how ya doing by now? Been thinking about you!

Visited the friend who was in the car accident today. Hate the smell of hospitals....brings everything right back. Took her some summer pjs. tees and knit capris that will fit over casts etc and she was so thrilled it made it all worth it. But I still hate the smell of hospitals.

Hope all will have a good weekend. Mary Jo

[lindat]

Hi MJ.  I'm better today - trying to be positive    I know what you mean about the smell (not to mention the germs) - I hate it too.    Heading for bed, g'nite. 

[missque]

gahhhhh... im so frustratd with people sayin "your so strong your amazin g bla bla" just cuz i plaster on a face smile when i go out doesnt mean anything... it makes me feel so uncomfortable when people say that; especially at the bar... i go out to try and have fun (try being key word lol lets be honest fun isnt in my vocab lately lol) and people come up and start saying that... i duno its just frustrating... i know i havent seen you in a while and u wanna voice how amazing u think i am but pleae not when im trying my hardest to enjoy myself.

sorry just wanted to vent....

[missyouhoney811]

Sometimes I feel as if I should not come on this site anymore because I seem to be doing well. When I do post I tend lately to have good news about what I am doing and telling you about my trips. Maybe some feel as if I am bragging...........which is far from the truth I am merely sharing my happiness with you. I have just been doing some soul searching. Do I belong here or do I close the door on this site and just keep to myself? Maybe I am just too deep today mentally........

Linda, my prayers are with you and always will be.........In my heart I know you will kick ass on the BIG C.......hugs and prayers.

Love you all.

Dorothy

[aprilmoonflower]

Dorothy- I am pretty happy these days too. I don't think it means we have to leave! we deserve to be happy! and pay it forward by showing others they WILL be happy one day again! don't feel guilty!

[rodless]

Dorothy,

I basically do ok most of the time now but I like keeping in contact with the ones I've met here and I love hearing about your adventures. I think it's nice for the ones who are just starting this to have people who made it through to talk to. I know that helped me when I first came here. So I hope you stay with us and post even if it's just once in awhile.

Mary Jo

[armaiti]

Dorothy - I hope you stay too!  I too love hearing about your adventures.  And I agree, I think it's good to have folks here who have come through this to a place of peace and even beeing happy.  I feel pretty good most of the time too, but I never have stopped missing Ishaq.  So "I Miss Him So..." will always be a reality for me.  It helped me when I first came on this board to see how others had made it through.  I look back at the old posts that come up and see a lot of those folks aren't here anymore...I hope that doesn't happen to us.  I really want to stay in touch with all of you.  Who knows what the future will bring? 

Blessings,

Anna