Loss of an Adult Child

[zachysmom]

Easter

[zachysmom]

Strep stinks I have had it for weeks now. even took mega doses of antibiotics and it hasn't gone away. It's is not as bad as it was but still very irritating.

[mikesmum]

Greg - Yep smiling for all the right reasons...

Susannah - I know what you mean about them being old enough to make their decisions.  Still doesn't stop us wanting to make sure they are okay....

Bonnie - Love the pic of Jay and his grandpa.  I have simialar of Mike, Melissa and Steven with dad.  He turned 70% of our yard into fruit and vegetables.  The kids would 'help' him pick beans...more leaves than beans most days!

Carol - YEAH RED SOX's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After finding the Easter pic I went through all the school pics for the kids.  Their old schools have FaceBook sites (groups).  I scanned pics and posted them into the night.  This morning my inbox was full of requests to 'tag' the pictures.  So many kids who knew my kids.........so many memories unlocked.....

On a less pleasant note - off for the annual 'colonscopy' tomorrow.  Today is the 'purge'.  No food just thick salt liquid.........Yummmmmyyyyyy.

C ya Trudi

[ericasmom]

Thanks Col and Kath for the sweet birthday wishes. I do believe that the day was filled by ERi, and now I am exhausted, just spent. Realizing I think that my purge of so many memories and stories and poems has been good for me, but has caught up with me. Jon and Shan came over for dinner and desert. Jon was sad, this being one year since Michael's funeral and his Sister's birthday all in one. He perked up later on. The cake had a candle for us each to simply make a wish for our lives now, and we all blew. The cake was good. I will need to not eat anything fattening for three days just to make up for today. (fat chance).

So Trud, colonoscopy day hu? Is this the first? I really think that with all the technology available, we should have long figured out how to clean out a person's body in a less severe adn invasive way...holy cow. I sure did not like the process, especially not eating for that long and no coffee until they were done, so I had a coffee withdrawl headache as they were running late the day I was there. I sure hope it all is good, get some rest after wards, I slept for 3 hours after wards and then ate a lot. Trudi, I am glad that so many of the Kids' friends tagged your mail as they recognized their old buddies. Hearts smile.

Bonnie, I love the photo of Grandad and Jay. Apple breaks are always special with someone you love.

Carol, I trust that the Baseball game was a terrific time and that Mike was sitting with you and cheering for both teams, his family and the Red Sox.

Beth, thanks for sharing. I do hope that somehow, you feel gathered up in the hearts of others, (us), rocked and gently sung to.

The rain is falling gently, storms earlier, our first thunder in so many months, such a pretty sound. Eri loved storms, was always eager to watch their approach and sit right in them. She was never awakened by a storm, never afraid of them. Happy Birthday my Little Ruby in the Dust, my Sweet Daughter. I am loving you today as I have for all of the days since knowing you were part of us. The deep caverns of our hearts are imprinted with the forever-ness of you...always in my heart, thoughts, actions.

dee

[braydensmom]

Thank you Colleen!!!

Not looking forward to tomorrow, I can already feel the long emotional day approaching. I can't believe he would have been 2. It makes me so mad that right now he would have been doing so much and I have had to miss it all. I have a lot of anger today about it all. Its not fair, it never is.

I am doing a balloon release tomorrow around 6 and then going to dinner at el chico's with friends and family. So far I have about 25 people coming to the balloon release. It will be nice to see them all coming for my angels birthday/angelversary. I really need that right now.

 

I miss you baby boy. I wish I could hold you in my arms.

[zachysmom]

I am dreading the 7th as my angel will yet again be 5 instead of six this year. I am having a small party and will have candles lit all that day. that's my plan but who knows what that day will hold.

[mikesmum]

Beth & Amanda - Thinking of you as the days for your boys approach.  Celebrate they were here is one of the best things we can do for our children, no matter what their age......

Have developed one dooozey of a head cold so cancelled 'the prodecure'.  Summer colds sux......

:?

 

[ericasmom]

Beth and Amanda, my thoughts along with Trudi's and Col's. May the day bring sweetness more than bitter somehow, both with friends and with the love of your Angels. Always their Mommas. Forever your Sons.

Trudi, get better, I can't believe you had to drink all that stuff and then not use it.My friend, you are a trooper.

love,

dee

[Guest]

Trudi - Hope you get to rest today. 

Beth - Holding space, light and energy for you as Zachy's birthdate approaches.

Amanda - Also for you.

 

[hotrod]

Good Morning Indigos

Beth  So sorry to hear that you have strep.  It is very painful.  The meds work but take a long time, so  please try to rest.  The Easter decorations for Zachy were so precious  and sweet.  Thinking of you as his Birthday approaches.

Trudi I am sorry you have come down with a summer cold they are the pits. Get plenty of rest.

Carol  I am so glad that Opening Day was so eventful.  The Red Soxs win and an exciting opening day game on Easter was a great gift from Mike.  Hope you had a good day

Susannah Love the new picture of Stephenie.  i hope the Easter Bunny treated you well.

Bonnie I loved the picture of Jason and your Dad.  Such a simple beautiful moment.  When I saw the picture I began having big regrets and wishing I had taken photos of every single day.  Each day was special and had many events that could have been captured on film.  I would love to be able to go over each day in Stephen's life time in pictures.    I just thought I would remember (which is true) but I did not know he would be gone.

Colleen  I agree Greg's message was powerful and I am so glad you and Scott could share it.

Dee Your l cake sounded delicious  I agree, I have to make sure I cut down on food  this week as well.  So glad you had dinner and  time with Jon. 

Lorrie  A sunrise service in a new church sounds  wonderful  I am glad you could get up that early

Amanda Thinking of you and holding warm memories of your Little Angel

Sonya, Sherry, Betsy, Mary Ann, Claudia, Kathy Kim, Rosie, Sue, Susan,Leah and all Indigos please have a peaceful day.

My little Furry kittens are so much fun!!

Betty

Stephen'smom:)

[daniellemom]

Amanda – My thoughts and prayers are with your today as you celebrate with a balloon release for Brayden

Zachy’s site was beautiful for Easter. May Wednesday bring wonderful memories for Zachy’s life.

Trudi – Sorry to hear you have a cold, are you sure you just didn’t want to have 'the procedure' LOL!! That’s what I would do. I hope you feel better soon.

All the pictures of Easter Bunny past were great, thanks for sharing.

Carol – I hope the game last night was great! Ralph is still on my pray list. I also know you have to be proud of those grandsons! Too sweet.

Sonya (Danielle’s Mom)

[johnnysmama]

Just logged on-still think of all of you. Just wanted to thank all of you for thinking of us and esp Johnny on March 12th. Can't believe it has been 3 years?????

Nicksdad

Beautiful tribute-I cant thank you enough.

Thank you again, BI family for remembering my boy,love you guys

Hugs to all of you,

Kay

[ericasmom]

Kay, my heart jumped up and down when I saw Johnny's handsome face. I think about Johnny often and I wonder about you, about the Girls. Has there been a sense of moving forward in as much as the Girls getting on with things? Are you still teaching the little ones in kindergarten? I miss you Kay, and I love you.

dee

Hi All, going back to school was instantaneous back in the saddle kind of time, but fine and fun. We decorated ERi's tree with pink crepe paper and ribbons. It was beautiful out again. The kids worried that their decorations might get rained on or blown off, and we talked about once having done something, it is always done, so try to remember the prettiness of the tree and the feelings we shared. Temporary art is shared art.

I came home and went for a 40 minute bike ride, now I am all pooped out. Dinner calls.

Love to you Each.

[summergirl]

Amanda - thoughts were with you today as you had your balloon release. Bless your sweet Angel boy....always holding him in your heart.

Beth - I'm holding tightly to you as the 7th comes ... Zack is so very proud of his mommy and I pray you feel his energy.

Trudi - Sorry you had to postpone your procedure (NOT) - so sorry you have a headcold...makes you feel yucky all over. Hot tea and lots of rest.

Dee - I can imagine that you are exhausted mentally...you have done much memorializing this past week...wonderful memories, some very diffacult...your Eri and Micheal are so very proud of you as we are. You make me want to move forward.

Ok - so my Easter Sunday at my mother-in-laws was not as bad as I thought. I spent a bit of time with little Madison, we took a nice walk in the beautiful 70 degree sunny day...she is 2 and just adorable. Got through the day with no "issues" - however I did take Susannah's advice and just before we got out of the truck I said "Dear God please forgive the stupid people for they know not that they are stupid"...the day ended with all leaving and me staying with my sister-in-law and mother-in-law having a drink with them and talking for about 2 hours ---- wow, it was actually nice...I am not even going to wonder why, I am just glad that it was so much better than what it normally is.

Beautiful again today....so loving the warm weather.   Tomorrow we have to be at the hospital at 6 am  for Barry's procedure, should take about 45 minutes and than recovery...once he is settled in I am headed home to pick up Tavian...I am missing him so much and I am not going another night without him home....so it will be him and I tomorrow night and then off to get Barry when the doctor lets him go, early I hope.   He is down a pant size and they are loose !!! He is so excited and has not even had the procedure done yet....sure wish I had his willpower.

Need to rest as I have to up at 4 am, although I do not sleep well it always seems like my best and only good sleep is between 4 and 6....long day tomorrow.  I love you all and wish you sweet dreams. Kathy

[lolynbo]

AMANDA I WAS AT THE CEMETERY TODAY TO VISIT KOURTNEY, BUT IM DYING FROM SINUS....SO I WENT BACK HOME ....BUT IM THINKING OF YAL AND PRAY FOR YOU TO BE SURROUNDED BY YOUR LIL ANGEL AND ALL OF OURS....

FIGURED OUT WHY I CANT BREATH...AHHHHH EVERYTHING HAS A GREEN HUE ON IT FROM THE POLLEN...AH GOD ITS HORRIBLE...

TODAY WAS VERY UNEVENTFUL FOR ME...NO DRAMA..THANK GOD...I PRAY YOUR WAS TOO...

BRENT AND KOURTNEY HER LAST TIME ON OUR PONTOON BOAT JULY 07'

[ericasmom]

Amanda, I hope that the balloon release went beatifully, that the skies welcomed the floating prayers and that you could feel the LOVE of your Son.

Lorri, love the photo of Kourt on the boat. Sweet. So do you have allergies, I sure do to pollen, but it sure does not keep me in the house. Can't. I am on two meds everyday all year to my allergies, but this time of year I add perscription nose spray every other day. A homeopathic remedy if youhave a lot of sinus drip is 3 teaspoons of cider vinegar in warm water adn drink it down. Icky yes, but it cuts the mucus without meds. Good luck with that and watch not to get a sinus infection. If you want to go the natural route, check a health food store for soemthing called OLIVE CUTICLE. It is a good immune booster and is especially good for sinus trouble.

Kathy, prayers for Barry, may he come through the procedure with flying colors and do well on his quest to feeling fit. Glad that the day went better than expected, sometimes we get to be happily surprised. No need to wonder why, perhaps the universe was simply spinning well. I am glad if I am able to encourage you to move forward, but I think that you have always been moving forward , just different bumps along the way. Sleepy now, going to bed, prayers for Each.

dee

[nicksdad]

[Guest]

Carol - You and your hubby are in my thoughts and prayers.  Any news?

Lorri - Is the Amanda you were at the cemetery with the same Amanda who wierded out on you?

Kathy - Glad your Easter day with your in laws was actually pleasant!  Praying for Barry.

Dee - You are a good teacher!  And, you have a lot more energy than me!

Trudi - I think you are 16 hours ahead of Wyoming.  I'm trying to figure out where everyone is on this forum.  We are spread all over.  It's kind of cool! 

Wishing you all a peaceful evening!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[mikesmomrs]

Amanda:  thinking of you today (yesterday, actually...I just noticed the time...it is 1 am).  I hope all went well with your balloon release.  I know that your heart is full and the bittersweet moments sometimes take over, but hopefully your two beautiful boys helped to make the sweet overcome the bitter, as you remember your precious Brayden.

Yesterday at the ballpark was just phenomenal.  I actually managed to just store everything else in a little box in the back of my brain for most of the day.  Once we got into the park, passion took over.  The game was slow, but the excitement still reigned, and in the sixth inning, "...the "faithful were rewarded," as we came from 4 points down to tie the game, leading to a final score of 9-7, win for us, with plenty of excitement in between.  In the middle of the 8th inning, when the park usually joins in to sing "Sweet Caroline", all together, hands united with strangers...comrades in a common cause, the announcer brings our attention to the field, just in front of the dugout...Neil Diamond walks out, like it was nothing unusual at all, and proceeds to sing "Sweet Caroline."  I thought the stands were going to fall down there was so much screaming and hollering and jumping up and down, and singing...37, 540 people, and Neil.  Bottom of the 8th, a run in brings us to 2 ahead...this time for good.  A collective breath holding for the top of the 9th, if the Yankees don't score, game is over.  First batter grounded out, second batter lined out to left field, third batter gets on first, and fourth hits the ball to third base, where third baseman picks it up, throws to second for the third out, and....GAME OVER!!!  Now I KNOW the stands are going to fall down!   The joyous words and happy noise of  Dropkick Murphy's "Dirty Water" streams out of the speakers,  followed by "Tessie," also by Dropkick Murphy, Boston's victory song, as the park empties out into the night, the bright lights of Boston surrounding everyone with a glow of victory...I picture Mike, standing there, grinning, raising his arms in joy, and for those few moments of escape, all is right with the world.   

 Today, the box I put in the back of my brain yesterday is right there, opened, as soon as I open my eyes this morning...no ignoring it any longer.  A morning of breath-holding.  Finally, we get a phone call from Ralph's urologist's office.  They want to set up an appt for the 16th of April.  The 16th of April.  Either things are good, or he's a goner, and time is of no matter.  The question is asked.  Why so far from now?  She consults with the doctor.  Doctor says "it's not urgent," but she moves the appt to Monday, the 12th.  Limbo.  Ralph calls the pulmonologist to see if he has the results of the PET yet.   Doctor calls him back.  "There was nothing lit up on the PET scan...looks okay."  WHAT?!?!?  Does he have the right tests?.  Is he talking about the right person?  Ralph breaks down...I break down...the last CT said that there are many unidentified spots about the lungs, and also there was a suspicion of even another type of cancer...Broncoaveolar carcinoma...and all of that was why the PET scan was ordered.  Doctor reassures Ralph..."PET scan is clear."  Don't need to see him until Ralph's usual check up for the COPD in four months.  WHAT?!?!?  How can a person breathe and hold their breath, all at the same time?  I don't know how, but that is what we are doing now...breathing and holding our breath til Wednesday, when Ralph sees his primary care doctor, to bring all this together, face to face.  Hopefully to put a bow on that "box" of terror and drop it into the ocean and watch it sail out of view...dare I say "forever?"   Ralph's lungs are clear for cancer...and it sounds like maybe the kidney may be too...I thank all of you SO MUCH for your concern, your prayers, your hopes, thoughts, support...I don't know how I could do this without you...knowing I could come here and speak of the unspeakable, be listened to by people who truly understand and care, who reach out to hold you as you tremble in fear, has helped me get through these days of fear and anxiety, helped me to bear the deeper piercing of an already broken heart....  Mike, Mike, your dad is going to be okay...your dad is going to be okay...rejoice, alleluia, and, God, thank you, so, so SO much.    I am exhausted, but so thankful.  

Kathy:  Keeping you and Barry in thoughts and prayers for Barry's procedure...it is so great that he is already seeing success just from his preparation steps...  

Lorri:  Love the picture of Kourtney on the boat...she is glowing.  Sorry to hear that you are having problems with sinus...allergies.  I think this is going to be a really tough allergy season...mine are in full force right now.   

KAY:  SO WONDERFUL TO SEE YOUR BEAUTIFUL JOHNNY'S SWEET SMILE.   Thank you so much for signing on.  We are so happy to hear from you. 

Beth:  I hope you are feeling better. 

Dee:  the Red Sox sent out this picture (I think it was sent to all of the people who bought tickets directly from them, instead of through an agent, etc.)...it looks like Tink may have dropped by to see this Fenway Park that she hears Mike going on about all the time...the beautiful pinkness of the sunrise sings of her peace and presence.  ...this picture was taken at 5:02 am, Sunday morning.

Love and peace to all of you, my wonderful Indigo friends...Carol  mikesmomrs

[mikesmum]

Carol - Glad to hear about the Red Sox....Neil Diamond whoa what a day you have had...

Now about the PET scan....if thats clear break out the champagne chips and dip...I'll be there soon!  That scan picks up the most infinitesimal cell activity..

Pls hug Ralph for me.....Ralph you hug Carol!!! 

Saw this pic and thought of Mike's hearing this news...........Take Care

[mikesmum]

Steven John and Zak Leigh - posted on FB today. 

Steven John and Jeya Gayle - Steve has a squint, Jeya does too when she copies dad....

Just thought I'd share........

 

[mysonrich]

Hi Indigos, early morning run to the store. Another Easter. I don't remember last  Easter.

bbl.

Betsy, mysonRich

 

[lolynbo]

NO SUSANNAH..THIS AMANDA IS NORMAL SHE IS ONE OF US..SAD TO SAY...SHE ALSO LIVES HERE IN ARDMORE AS I DO...(CRAZY AMANDA WE HAVE NOT SEEN)...AND I SAY THIS AMANDA THATS ONE OF US...IS AS NORMAL AS THE REST OF US...LOL

[hotrod]

Good Morning Indigos

 

Just lost a long post so will try to be brief because I have to run.

 

Carol and Ralph so very happy for the good news.  I know you are both so joyful over the results  Thanks for sharing your joy with us

Betsy  Lovely photo.  Early morning is my favorite time of the day  I agree I no longer remember Holidays or special days since Stephen's loss.  I just know I try to show up for them

Trudi Love the picture of Steven and the precious Grand Babies. Hope you are feeling better

Kathy and   Gary so glad of the positive outcome so far and am holding positive thoughts for today

 outcome.

Beth Holding you and Your little Zachy close

Dee Hope the poetry content is going well

Lorrie As usual the new picture of Kourtney is beautiful

 

Sue, Susannah, , Susan, Claudia, Sherry, Sonya, Bonnie, Rosie, Kim, Debbie and All Indigos have a good day

Betty

Stephen's mom

[Guest]

Carol - WOO HOO!!!!  It is so nice to get happy news!!!  I hope the doctor confirms that everything is okay tomorrow.  I'm not a sports fan.  But, I could feel your excitement as you wrote about the game.  You could be a sports writer! 

Trudi - Is it my imagination or do Steven and Micheal look alike?  Love the picture of Stephen and his little ones.  So much love and joy!

Betsy - You are quite the photographer.  Beautiful sky!

Dan - Your tribute Amanda's baby, Brayden, is so sweet.  Your tributes are just perfect each time!

It's a snowy day here again.  Unlike the east, we need the moisture.  However, I am SO ready for summer.  I would have said spring, but this IS our spring.  :? 

I used my friend's death as an excuse to start smoking again. 

Wishing you all a peaceful day!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[ericasmom]

My heart dances and sings with your news today Sweet Carol. Oh give that Ralph a kiss and a hug from me. Trudi, the picture of those acrobats on the beach says it all, joy is felt in every fiber of our being...Thank you God and Angels for good news to reign/rain on us.

Dan, did I tell you how beautiful the memorial you made for Eri was? I think I did but I worry that I left out some thanks to you wonder-friends for all the support.Blessings either way, to you and Yours.

I think Brian's birthday is also coming up, Greg's Brian, am I right? Lost or misplaced my cheat sheet but I seem to remember another April person.

Good day all,

dee

PS how are your sweet Adoptees Betty? The Brothers.

[briansdad]

[user=7435]ericasmom[/user] wrote:

I think Brian's birthday is also coming up, Greg's Brian, am I right? Lost or misplaced my cheat sheet but I seem to remember another April person.

Yep, April 19th. The best day of my life.

Greg

[mysonrich]

Hi Carol, good now’s ! I re-read your post. I thought there was still a question regarding the Dr’s sanity ! I can feel you elation through time and space.

Amanda, Brayden is a beautiful baby. Hope the balloon release went well.

Susannah, No. I don’t think so. Its just something to do in trying to find some beauty in this world when questions are overwhelming and the anger rears its ugly head.

Betty, me too. I have my mothers cockatiel here. I was elected caregiver , along with everything else, when my mom entered assisted living. His name is Bird and sometimes Burtus. I Came in the other day and he was flying around the house ! I left the door open to his cage.

Not real happy with my health care provider today. I was under the impression that my dollars were paying them and some people should just stop playing god. I know. Fire them.

Ok, I’m done.

Betsy,mysonRich

[heartbeataway]

Good news Carol!  Glad the game turned out well too!  I thought about you and opening night at the ballpark ......

Look forward to hearing the good news tomorrow also!

Kathy,

Prayers for your hubby ...... I can hear pride in your voice!

Beautiful day here today ......

Love for the journey,

Bonnie

[ericasmom]

I totally understand that Greg, the two best days of mine are Jon's birthday and Eri's.

Hope you are well,

dee

[Guest]

Betsy - I admire you for trying to find something beautiful when the anger comes.

I'm there today...angry.  Or just discontent...I don't have a label for the emotion.  That happens a lot since Stephanie died.  I feel feelings I didn't know existed.  Maybe today is just a hiccup in the healing process.  I feel very sleepy.

Anyway...I appreciate your pictures.  Thank you for sharing them with us!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[shorty16]

Hello Fellow Indigo's,

Yesterday 70's and sunny - Today 40's and rainy - Where am I?

Has anyone seen The Blue Man Group?  Scott and AJ went to Chicago last night (Shaumburg IL actually) to see them.

Take care my friends.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[hotsauce]

AMANDA, sorry i missed BRAYDEN'S day, i hope the ballon release was great and your family is doing well.

hugs

mary ann

BRIAN'S mom

[briansdad]

[user=20150]shorty16[/user] wrote:

Hello Fellow Indigo's,

Yesterday 70's and sunny - Today 40's and rainy - Where am I?

Has anyone seen The Blue Man Group?  Scott and AJ went to Chicago last night (Shaumburg IL actually) to see them.

Take care my friends.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOL8-qIYemg

[heartbeataway]

Betsy & Trudi,

Love the pictures you guys posted!

Colleen,

We've seen The Blue Man group ..... I did not care for them!  All the crap flying out into the audience and in my hair ...... and then TONS of paper filtering over us.  I guess I'm a fuddy duddy, just didn't get the humor or feel the excitement!  Once was enough for me!

Sunshine for the journey,

Bonnie, Jay's Momma

[mikesmomrs]

Trudi:  Thank you so much for the picture...all of our angels, dancing by the water, led by Mike, joyous and celebrating!  Beautiful!  Loved the uTube, also, beautiful song...  That Jeya, she looks SO much like her grandma...if she turns out like her, the world will be doubly blessed!    Betsy:  Sorry about the upset with the medical people...hope things work out for the good.  Thank you for the beautiful picture...did you ever get to the store?  I think I would have just stayed in that spot...   Sherry:  I hope you and hubby enjoyed your first Easter in your new home...likely had lots of "wild" company from the surrounding woods...I hope Davis and Lisa sent you bird songs all day, just for you both!    Sus:  hold on...we are here...it's a bumpy road...I think we all have discovered feelings we didn't even know existed---another reason it is so great to have all discovered each other...we are here...   Colleen:  I haven't seen the Blue Man Group, but plan to, perhaps the next time they come around this way... Hope Scott and AJ enjoyed them.  Bpnnie; you are NOT a "fuddy duddy."  Likely, it's just a case of "different strokes for different folks."   How goes it with Emily?    Kathy and Barry:  Hope all went fine today, and Barry is comfortable...we are thinking of you both, and Tav of course.

Dee:  I hope your poetry contest is productive and brings out lots of little artists, and big ones, too. 

Thinking of you all...hoping everyone has a good week...the calendar says it is spring---hopefully the weatherman will get the memo soon for those of you who haven't seen the warmth of the sun yet...SNOW, Susannah?  (Of course, I probably shouldn't say anything, March isn't over yet, and just a few years ago, we got almost 20" of snow over 3 days on the 11th and 13th of APRIL!

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs.

[ericasmom]

Have not started the poetry for the school yet, so much to do to ready ourselves, putting up word wall paper for different topics, inviting then the kids to write words that might be useful to everyone writing poetry for that topic. so far we have a word wall up for dinosaurs down in the second grades, weather and seasons for the first grades, and environmental concepts for teh 5th grades, mother earth and protecting her...

I liked Blue man, we went when eri was about 14 and took a friend with, so we had fun.

No, not a fuddy duddy at all ms.bon, I think that if i saw it today i would not like it, too frantic and would make me nervous, but back then, I was a bit more laid back.

Love all,

dee

[daveydow1]

Hello to all my friends here at the BI.

I am FINALLY back online, after so much trouble. I have to get dialup here---

no high speed available. Then I had much trouble with my computer hardware

itself. Had the Dell local tech come out twice. Then connecting to a dialup service

was a bit of a challenge. So.......now, I'm writing quickly, before anything else

goes wrong....... I hope everyone is doing ok. When I came on to BI, the first

one I saw was dear ERi.....I sure missed everyone. Take care all, and I will be

back on BI soon.......barring anymore glitches. Computers!!!!  They are great

when they are working well, but not so great when trouble strikes.

Peace & comfort to everyone in the BI family.

   Davey&Lisasmom,    Sherry     

[mikesmum]

Ahh yes, judging by the rain falling from the grey skies I'm betting summers on the run and all the leaves are brown.....

Betsy - I do love the pics you post.  I loved photography before Mike left.  Would sit and wait for the shot I envisaged to be 'specie'.   Its coming back to me.  I sit and watch the skies for the light, shade and colour.  Nature in all her glory.  Now it bring Mike close - I feel him everywhere this beauty if found.

Betty - Any news on your babies (meow).

Kathy - Hoping Barry and Tavian are home with you soon.  Congrats to Barry, making this decision to change the direction of his life.....to be with you and Tavian.  Love the bike idea.....family road trip!

Susannah - Mike and Steve have similar looks...Mike was dark haired, Steven lighter. This is when Zak was brand new.

With Smidgen - recently passed..

(any excuse to show off my boys).

Just to be fair...Melissa and Harmony. It was taken on Mikes birthday 2006.

Dee - Poetry flows from you...your words come together to paint the pictures, describe the emotions and draw the reader into another world.....

Carol - :):):)  Guessing you just can't keep that smile off your face....

Lorri - Hope you're feeling better.  Sinus can bring even the strongest of us down..

Finalising my trip plans this week.  Time zones are the biggest thing!!   Leave here at 10am one day, arrive LA 7.30am same day......(lol)

 

[Guest]

Sherry -  So good to see Davey's face!  I'm sure you said, but I don't keep up or retain information very well...where are you?

Trudi - I'm trying to comprehend the time gap thing.  You will gain a day but lose sleep....Is jet lag tough on you?

I went to the site Greg posted.  I loved the Blue Men!  I don't think I'd love them if I were sitting in the audience, though!  I spent several minutes going through some of their videos.  Who thinks up this stuff?  It's brilliant! 

Kathy - I hope all went well with Barry's surgery.  Keeping my finger's crossed!

Wishing you all a good night!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[hotrod]

Good Evening Indigos

Today  the weather was 70 degrees and it was like spring.  I felt really good for  a change (must be those little furry creatures) so I went for a 2 hour walk by the river. 

I do wish I had my camera  and my bird watching book.  Believe it or not   I did see an "Anhinga "diving for fish in the Very brown East River.  I have never seen them here before and I wish I could have a picture so  I could have shared it with"uall". It was a great day and I thought of each of you and your angels as I walked along and became lost in my rememories.

Trudie I love seeing pictures of Steven, Mike and Melissa  Beautiful children and Smidgen certainly looks a lot like my friend Muttley. 

Sherry I know how hard it is to get use to dial up after having a high speed connection.  It is just so good to see Davey's handsome face and see you sign off as Lisa and Davey'smoms.  Hope those Blue Birds are on your shoulder!! I am showing my age  That is a line from a very old song "Zippetty Do Da"

Susnnah I did mention that  I loved Stephenie's new picture  So sweet and beautiful How old is she in the picture?

Dee the poetry contest sounds like a great project  What an interesting way to encourge children to express themselves.  You are a rare teacher!!

Dee and Trudie my Little Brothers are so very sweet and small and wonderful.  I have  the mommy as well so I do not have to do all the work:).  Calling they Ebony and MIdnight. 

Carol I can feel the joy coming from each of your messages  Mikes wonderful smiles said it all I am so happy for you and Ralph

Betsy I hear you about the medical professionals and laughed so hard at the story about  "Bird"   You are a very funny lady:cool:

 Bonnie so good to see you and Jason

Greg and Dee I agree Stephen's Birthday was the best day of my life as well

Lorrie , Mary Ann, Beth &  Kathy  thinking warm thoughts of you and your angels

Betty

Stephen'smom:)

[Guest]

Betty - I remember you commenting on Stephanie's picture.  I'm sorry I didn't respond then.  Well...I remember it now...I didn't remember it then.    She was 23 in that picture.

I'm changing the avatar again...I'm working backwards to her birth. 

How's your health?  If you don't mind me asking...

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[summergirl]

Hello dear indigo's - I am so very tired tonight so just a quick post to let you know that all is well with Barry. He came through great, very sore but a happy man. I was a nervous wreck although I know this was not "major surgery" I was just a mess. The doctor called me on my cell as soon as the operation was done and let me know he did wonderful and that he would be in recovery for a couple of hours if I wanted to go do something - NO WAY...I was not leaving until I saw him for myself and then as soon as I did I cried.   Losing a child certainly changes every aspect of one's life.  Barry lost 23 pounds this past week on the liquid diet !!! He had a huge smile on his face when he saw that.  Thank you all for your concern and your wishes...I am just so happy that he will once again be able to do all the things he wants to do...we will be so much more of a family as he will be able to do the things Tavian and I do now.

Carol - What can I say, tears as I read your post...I am so very happy for you and Ralph...a relief that cannot be put into words. Yes, it is possible to not breathe while breathing.....today is a good day...

To all friends here, I have read your posts but really need to rest so I will talk tomorrow after Barry comes home.  Much love to all - Kathy

Thank you Jessica for being with your dad today, he told me you were there, he said he could feel you....I love you girl, I love you.....I need you here with me, I miss you so....mom

[Guest]

Aug or Sept 2001 - Wedding day - She and my other kids were making fun of me.  Steph got a good laugh out of it...and, they snapped the picture.  I cherish it, now! 

[Guest]

Kathy - I'm so glad Barry's surgery went so well!  I hope you are able to sleep well tonight!

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[ericasmom]

Hooray Kathy, now go to bed immediately, sleep deeply, let your body and mind rest.

Carol, you too.

Trudi, I love all the photos, and yes, all of the kids resemble one another and greatly influenced by their Mom. You may be tiny, but you pack some powerfully strong DNA. The boys have somethng in their smile that is similar and the eyes. Melissa's profile is very much like yours I think. The grandkids all look like you. I think they are all very lucky for it.

Sherry, so glad to see you are back with us, what a long time to not see Davey's handsome face and to hear from you. I wish you well getting used to the dial up and that nothing else holds you back from communicating whenever you like. How is the new place?

Sus, what were the kids making fun of you about, you look so pretty.

Betty, the poetry will be cool once I get it all up and running, but by Friday we should all be ready to start. In the meantime, the word walls will start kids thinking in terms of different topics. The wall outside the art room will have a couple of different posters, VanGogh, Matisse, O'Keefe, and the kids will have to write poems responding to the art.

Outside the music room, Mr. J. and I will post a song in which the kids will respond in poetry to the poetry of the music.

The fifth graders will write anaphora poems, those which have a repeated beginning line such as;

In the days before I met you______________________

In the days before I met you_______________________

But theirs will have to do with Earth's forces and  protecting Earth as we come t teh 40th Earth Day.

We are getting there.

I am not a ballerina anywhere but in my head. I fell down while snapping photos today on the playground...you can laugh, I did, but I knew too, that I hurt myself. Of course I wore a skirt and no stockings as it was warm, so I gashed my shin on the rope structure i tripped on, and bruised my legs up, wrist too, and while those are enough, whenever I fall or trip, the worst injuries are usually to my back. SO, I imagine by tomorrow I will be hurting more, maybe not, but it seems to be manifesting that way. Wish me luck. And yes, you can laugh I looked ridiculous.

Love and sweet dreams,

dee

[daveydow1]

Susannah---Hi, friend. We moved just 8 mi. from where we lived, but this

time it is out in a rural area. So nice,.... and I can actually hang clothes out

on the line (it was not permitted at the condo )  Funny how you can miss

little things like that. Love the new wedding pic avatar. Stephanie is  beautiful.

Betty----I've so missed being here on BI. Your walk by the East River sounds

so refreshing. I have never heard of an Anhinga bird. Are they a large type of

 diving bird?  I'll have to look that one up in the bird book. Maybe you can get a pic

the next time you go out on another riverside stroll. The bluebirds are busy

 nesting in a box on the post by the grape arbor. It's a delight to see them.  Thanks

 for your kind words.

Kathy----I missed your telling of Barry's surgery.....it must have been during the

2 wks. I was moving and offline. Anyhow,....so glad that he is recuperating well.

Trudi----Nice pics of Mike, Steven, and Melissa and baby. I hope you have some

more nice days as your summer is winding down:).

Carol----Thanks for your kind words, friend. It has been so nice here lately,

weatherwise, and yes......we are serenaded each morning and most of the day

with many kinds of bird songs,....including my favorites,  the cardinals.

     Davey&Lisasmom,    Sherry 

[ericasmom]

Ballerina

I wished to be a dancer

the kind in a Degas painting.

My tu-tu -a part of me-tipping upward

as I bend to tie my satin-ribboned toe shoes.

I danced, even when I  walked,

and I twirled

leaping with a cat’s certainty,

and folded into a fan .

I was lifted and set down like a fallen leaf,

I moved in pure poetry,

giving reason for others to sigh.

I wished to be a dancer,

the kind in a Degas painting.

Chosen,

and perfect,

admired.

Though I knew that I was this

only inside my dreams,

as I bent to tie my large saddle shoes.

[daveydow1]

Dee----Oh thanks for the 'welcome back'. We're slowly getting settled. So

much to do etc. (I never want to move again ....too much trouble, and

WHERE did I collect all this "stuff" ??   It will take some adjustment in getting

used to the dialup connection after having high speed through cable. I do notice

the difference....that's for sure,(slower of course), but I must make adjustments after

 the move. I had a hardware problem with the computer, so that had to be fixed

 before I could even get set up with the dialup. Our house is on a hill, so the view is

 very nice. The poetry walls for the school children is a very nice plan. I think they will

enjoy it, and learn so much from the project.

PEACE & COMFORT TO ALL HERE IN THE BI FAMILY.

         Davey&Lisasmom,   Sherry 

[Guest]

Dee - "Ballerina" could have been written about my sister.  Well done, again!! I don't remember why they were laughing at me, exactly.  It was a very stressful day.  I didn't want her to get married. (He was still incarcarrated (sp?) for Pete's sake!)  A few days before the actual wedding date, I got on board, or at least decided to support my daughter.  I bought her wedding dress, flowers and arranged for a place for them to get married where the the correctional facility would approve.  He was in the place they go from prison before they go on probation.  A little more freedom than jail, but it's still jail.

Stephanie had a way of laughing at my fears.  This picture was taken before she went back to drugs.  She had been clean for over a year at that point. 

Deep sigh............if only.  I wish I could get a do over......

Anyway....I don't know what I said that made them all laugh.  I probably asked if he was going to have to wear cuffs or if they would allow them to kiss....

Thanks for the compliment.  In looking at that picture I realize my hair is rarely the same color twice. 

So many regrets...........

I hope there is a day when I don't have a bad memory associated with all her pictures.  She was so tortured inside.  Behind the smile.  I'm going to keep posting them, anyway. 

It doesn't hurt like it did when I found you guys.  But, it still sucks!  As I know you all know!