Loss of an Adult Child

[daveydow1]

YAY!........My post went through without a SQL problem.  

[karenthiemermann]

Hello everyone! Hoping all of you are well today.

 

Kate and Colleen: Yes--I'm learning many things about myself while on this journey. I have much more stamina than I have ever given myself credit for. I've never thought of myself as being brave either; but I'm discovering that I am. On the other hand, I always thought I was organized, but with so much going on and losing my girl, I am more mixed up than ever.

 

Dee:I'm taking it easy. No big demands and no huge projects with unrealistic deadlines. It only adds stress to my already tense body and frazzled mind. I'm paying attention to nourishing my body and spirit. There is nothing I have to do here that can't wait--chores, etc. If I feel like doing something, I will. Thank you so much for your heartfelt advice.

 

Today was a good day. I felt better and Michael came to visit and stayed for lunch and all afternoon. We talked and talked. We shared secrets and memories and laughed. It felt so good. I think we are building a much closer relationship.

He'll be back tomorrow for the weekend; I'm looking forward to it.

 

I'm going to bed early tonight. I've had a headache for several hours and finally broke down and took some ibuprofen--I haven't taken anything for a headache in over a year but nothing else was working.

 

Wishing you all the best~

 

PEACE and LOVE,

 

Karen

[katibug98]

This has been a crazy week.  Yesterday was the first day with kiddos and I cried on the way home.  It was a rough day.  Rough.  I have a child who very much needs to be at our center, but I was physically AND emotionally drained yesterday.  I think I may have even dropped a pant size while I was there running after him.  It makes me sad for him.  To top off my crazy day yesterday, my teacher's assistant *whom I work very well with* got asked to be the substitute teacher in our neighboring center while they try to hire someone.  I was thankful when I found out that my substitute TA was someone I've worked before and knows the classroom.  Whew!  Today was SO much better and I didn't cry all the way home.  The funny thing was, I thought the kids I'd have trouble with, weren't the ones I had trouble with.

 

I started low dose therapy to help even me out a little.  It's like working two full-time jobs...grieving AND working.

 

Now to find a balance with family time, house work, etc.  Ha!

 

 

MIKE~~Saying your name out loud for your momma! 

[tobyfreefoot]

sorry i have been so out of the loop!  had lots of health things going on along with my kids having troubles.  hope to be back as a regular soon.  you have all helped me soo much.  as requested per dee posting forest's tribute video made by his lifelong friend susan.  also a couple pics from the 3rd at the cemetery.  going out to new mexico to visit the guy that did forest's memorial.  will send pics of his wild house.http://vimeo.com/29259184

 didn't know how to make this show up

anybody know how please put it up thanks  -- it is on my profile too

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Gretchen, those are some memorable pictures by Forest's site. It seems like you had a very nice turnout.
 
 

[Jeff's Mom]

Laurie, thank you so much for posting the video of the tribute to Forest. Hope things are ok your way. How is your sister feeling these days?

 

Gretchen, it is good to see you today! Thanks for sharing the video and pictures of Forest's memorial. I always smile to myself when I see that infectious manner of his. He had a winning way about him.

 

It turned in quite chilly today and we have had a fair amount of rain the past 24 hours. I can't believe how quickly the summer has passed. The kids start back to school right after the Labour Day long weekend in September. Dee and Katie, I am thinking of you both as you slowly settle back into your routine.

 

Have a peaceful night everyone. Kate

[ericasmom]

Okay, home after two days of intense meetings. I am unsure as to how administrators become the mindless people they have become...they were once teachers...if we spit out 6 hours of information for two days straight, how much would the young minds take in??? Well my mind is not young, my body is older now, sitting in an unairconditioned room for 6 hours with a 30 min. break for lunch before more mind boggling training...on kid size chairs! REALLY? We all felt like prisoners at times today, crazy.

It is 90 and 90% humidity. IT rained about 5 inches in the night, shutting down highways and train stops. Lucky for me, I work close to home but our yard is still draining since 5:00 AM. the pump is slowly being our yard savior. Wow. HEAT WAVE.

We meet our students on Monday, that is the good part. Ahhh, but it feels so nice to be home.

 

Karen, glad that Michael is spending time with you and sharing his heart.

Sandy, you are plain and simply in my prayers and on my mind.

Gretchen, I do so hope that the health issues are clearing up and that all of the kids are okay.

Yay Sherry, you found out how to get rid of the dreaded SQL. What did you do?

Shannon, no one can fix the other, we can stand near and support, and sometimes we need to move far enough away that the person sees if they can stand on their own. You are a giver, so now give to you and the boys and grandmom.

 

Peace out all, I will be more present tomorrow.

 

Love you each

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Grief after the loss of a child is the worst thing a parent can go through. Dealing with other things on top of this grief... I'm not sure what that is. I had to file a missing persons report on my husband tonight. I also have a bank out account that is 500$ overdrawn as of now and who knows what it will be by Monday. I'm so tired. My husbands Grandma, Baba, died last night. He doesn't know because no one can reach him. A month ago we went through this and he used Trista as reason for his behavior and also as a reason why it would never happen again. I will not let my Daughter's death be an 'excuse for bad behavior' even my own. I'm tired and I'm done.

[Mermaid Tears]

Shannon....can you cancel the debit/credit cards..? Very sad.....and so destructive...and heartbreaking....for the boys and you. You do have a good relationship with his step Dad....his Mom ? In this situation communication is a must...for all the adults to be on the same page. Also....so you will have support....and not have to fight this alone.

  I am sorry you have to have this cross road in your life now...I  can only hope your Grama and sister will be by your side..and can help ...so you will not be run down. You need to get some rest.

[shorty16]

Shannon

I am so sorry that you have to experience this.

For me, being an example to my kids on how to handle Brian's death was important. Perhaps you can use that angle with your hubby. He is lost.

I will pray for his safe return.

Thanks for sharing, we are here for you

Colleen, Brian's Mom 4 ever

[Angel Boy of Mine]

Shannon, I am so sorry that you have all this extra drama on top of your already broken heart! I agree with Susan, cancel that card, and request a new card and new number on that card. Even if you have to leave a voice mail to prove you requested it closed, so you won't be held responsible for anything further. Does it show if money was withdrawn, and how, or purchases made? Did he sign YOUR name to acomplish that? If it is just your account alone, I would make a report to the bank/police as it sounds like fraudulant (sp?) use of your card/account. Otherwise, if you are both on the account and he is the one that overdrew it,  you are completely right, there is no excuse, particularly not using Trista as one. Just wrong! Hang in there, girl! 

[Jeff's Mom]

Shannon, I am so sorry that this is happening to you right now. I agree with Colleen and Susan and hope that you will ensure that you are taking good care of yourself right now. Sending love and prayers. Kate

[ericasmom]

Oh Shannon, you must be exhausted by this latest sadness...but we know that you will find your steps and I agree with everyone here, check to see if he signed or forged your name, put a stop on any and all checks, call the bank, and by all means call in some reserves for yourself. I am sorry that you are having this energy drain in your life. I am sorry that this man cannot see his way clear to being clean, but he can't and if you are done, that alone is a step, a huge step.

I call upon the ANGELS to give you signs and support in this very tenuous time.

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Thank you all. I’m ok. I just had a mini break down last night. I was handling things ok until my rant last night. Just was feeling so helpless watching my account go further and further into the red. I did cancel all cards but he has a check book and he’s writing bad checks. He knows there is no money in there but he keeps writing them. I can’t close the account without him because it’s a joint account. My Gramma is going to come stay with us in a couple of days just so I have a little moral support through all this. I hated telling his Mom what was happening as she’s in Wisconsin getting ready for her Mother’s funeral. I had to, of course, because she was expecting him to be there. Her concern was, what was she going to tell her family. She said she would tell them that I was having a rough time with my PTSD and couldn’t come to the funeral because it’s too soon after losing Trista and he didn’t want to leave me alone. That just made me really angry. I don’t want Trista to be an excuse for this. It’s not right and she would hate it. I also don’t want to be an excuse for him. I’ve been taking care of everything pretty much on my own this whole past year. I did get some rest and today is a new day. There is so much that I have no control over so I just have to wait it out. I don’t know what else to do. I did call the police and filed a missing persons report. It is in the report that he is writing bad checks so I’m hoping that when this finally stops it will help that it’s on record that I had nothing to do with this. I agree that he is lost. I have tried everything over the past six years that I know how to do. It’s very hard when it’s someone you care about and you think what if this is the time that he can actually do it. He’s been handed everything on a silver platter, the best rehabs, treatment centers, doctors, etc. and nothing has worked for him and I have to believe that it is because he’s not ready yet, and may never be, to change his life. At this point I feel like all I can do is separate myself and the boys from it. Maybe he hasn’t reached a point where he can take responsibility for his choices because he’s never really had to. Someone picks up the pieces for him every time. My concern is while he’s out there doing this he will hurt himself or someone else. Just a month ago I had to call 911 when I found him after one of these episodes and he spent 5 days in the hospital. And the fact that he is driving around, in this condition, he is putting others at risk. The thought that he could potentially be responsible for some other parent getting that call is heartbreaking but there is nothing I can do. As the police said, he is an adult so unless he is actually in an accident or pulled over for a reason there is nothing they can do. By then it may be too late but my prayer is that no one gets hurt before he finally stops.

[Mermaid Tears]

Shannon....a slippery slope for sure....

do you have any idea of the 'run' of the checks...the check numbers....that was in his check book ? You can look at your bank statement and maybe figure that out.....you can call the bank and either have a stop payment put on the check # or check #'s.....you can freeze your acct.....I am just throwing these suggestions out to you....I know that banking laws are somewhat different state by state....and of course...the other determining factor is the relationship you have with your bank...did he take personal checks or the business checks ? Some businesses have that 'instant' withdrawal..when you write a check...Walmart has that now....you write a check and it is instantly taken from your bank acct.....I don't write checks anymore....I use debit/credit cards...or cash...

    how long was his 'trip' last time....in other words....how long did it take for him to crash ?

I am glad your Grama is going to be with you....school starting up and the boys need some normal days...

I understand how you don't want his Mom using Trista as an excuse.....but....I would think a funeral with family is not the place to have a 'tell all'....let the family have their Memorial...probably...some in the family will read between the lines, anyway.

 

We ...or you...or anyone...that has this kind of grief needs this trouble and burden...all of us are very concerned for you and yours....remember to 'self care'....and keep in mind at all times that one does not have any control in a situation like that...your control is simply with you and the family and how you will handle and deal with it. Let us hear.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Shannon, Perhaps if the account is brought up to date with outstanding checks and charges, they may allow you to remove just  your name off as an joint account holder. Maybe check to see if this is an option??

 

I am so sorry for this all, and you are right not to allow his family to use Trista as an excuse for his bad behavior. People are responsible for their own conduct. It is good that your grandma is coming down for support. I am praying specifically that your husband be found and held -- and for strength.

 

*********************************

 

Kati, It is hard to get through these first days without your baby girl...in the hurry of it all it is easy to forget to give one time to grieve and just to be. Take care...

 

Karen, it sounds good that Micheal is coming over. May you use this as a healing time for you both.

[ericasmom]

Shannon, you are already putting it together for you and the Boys, so I am glad. Good that you included in the police report that he is writing bad checks. You have tried and tried to help, it isn't yours to do but he will try to make it yours, just as his mother has made it hers and now yours. I cannot believe that she is going to tell folks that he isn't there because of your grief, because of  your PTSD! She is the prime example of fostering this kind of behavior. She is using Trista and you in her  need to make excuses for her addicted son. Wow. Give Gramma a hug from us all as she makes her way to you.

 

SO the whole summer special ed summer school used our classrooms at our building (there are 8 elementary schools) and portable air conditioners were brought in for them. A nice feature and I hoped that they would leave them for us until mid September at least...we have never had air in our building, the new section does, only 4 classrooms and it is not mine. But no, today they went in and took them out and the prediction for next week is 90 or above, with equal humidity. Disheartened.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Thought this blog post was a realistic summary for those in their early stages of Grief. It is put out by Nathalie Hemmelrich who lost her daughter and mother by suicide in the same time period. It was posted August 18, 2014.

 

http://grievingparents.net/10-things-about-the-first-year-of-grief/

[tobyfreefoot]

thanks laurie--can you tell me how you posted it?  i seem to have forgotten.

 

shannon--i'm so sorry you are having to deal with all that and your kids having to go through more turmoil in their lives. hang on to your loved ones and keep trista with you.

 

i'm still recovering from the radio frequency ablation, it wasn't as easy as described.  allison ended up in the state psych ward for a few days logan and i had to go help with her kids.  lyra hasn't ever had a bottle and i kept having to run up and get milk from allison. my daughter has boarderline personality disorder but her husband has big issues also and they escalated into a full blown dramatic episode for everyone.  she is home now with logan staying to monitor the situation.  as you remember he is my very very sensitive recluse with a drinking problem because he takes it upon himself to fix everything.  he can't fix forest's death for any of us and he can't stand it.  he helps with the babies all the time and can't handle fighting so i worry that he is going to start drinking worse again.  marshall is here with me for the weekend.  going to try 6 hours of college this time.  said he wants back on anti depressants just in case since completely came undone last year.

 

love to all of you.  i have missed so much.  i'm sure there are many new people here too.  you are in a good place to share everything on your hearts good or bad.  people here have been through all the peaks and valleys and will stand with you through yours.

 

here is one more pic i meant to include--forest's slightly autistic friend that is pretty much friendless now visiting the memorial for the first time.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

thanks laurie--can you tell me how you posted it?  i seem to have forgotten.

 

 

I am sorry Gretchen that you have so many other heavy things to deal with besides your grief for Forrest..

 

 

This editor can be glitchy...Sometimes I have to manually add the tags, the editor doesn't always handle it...You will see what is a toggle button in the uppermost left corner of the editor, takes you to code view. just check to make sure the code looks like what is in the image of course with your image url.

 

Haven't heard from Lori and Wanda lately, also Mary Ann??? Wade, still sending prayers..

[ericasmom]

Holy Cow Gretchen, I am so sorry for the very heavy burden you are carrying. Goodness knows your love and devotion for your kids and grandies, so I am sending prayers for your health and the health and well-being of those you love most. We are right here.

 

Laurie, how are you doing? Thanks for posting what you do to help us all through this time, no matter where we are in our lives. You are so helpful and supporting of All.

[Mermaid Tears]

[Mermaid Tears]

Thanks Laurie....for the lesson given to Gretchen....that I finally saw the 'light'....am posting my very own first song...by myself.....

 

thought I would share this song...John David and I shared a love of all that was Ray Charles...I got to introduce him to some old songs from my youth....when he was in his youth...of course....this song came back to me when he passed...it was as if John David sent it to me again.....

[Mermaid Tears]

Gretchen.....so many on this site come down with very serious physical ailments....and if they had an issue...they do seem to escalate....and morph into more.....

    When I was in Port Aransas for John David's 2nd Angelversary....I became very ill....vomiting..fever..aches..pains..diarrhea..it lasted 24 hours....but was a thump on the head...what grief can do to our emotional and physical persona.....

 

with that said....thanks for sharing your Forrest and the gathering of all the friends and family in a circle of love...I watched the video....so moving....

   seems as if you are spread thin with care and concern for your family....and we all know how that empty space in a family can disrupt the family dynamics....from every direction....they feel that void....and of course...the siblings want to fix it all...so all will be 'just as before'.....and they are so depressed....for they cannot find the tool to do it...

 

I think all families meet some Waterloo...some early on....but most....later on the grief journey...when they realize...'this is the way it is going to be'.....we all realize there is no way to fill the empty hole....we just have to figure out a way to honor it...

 

I do hope you will 'self care'....and put yourself at the top of the list 'most' of the time....that is hard for a Mom to do....for it is second nature to care for everyone else....my Grama use to tell me...'to take care of myself cause no one else would'.....

very true. Keep us posted.

[ericasmom]

So well said Susan, we can't fill it but have to honor it somehow.

 

The grief we experience is different than that of our Kids, the siblings of those gone from them in such a blink. The witness to their lives. God bless them all and help them always know the love and strength of our love.

[Mermaid Tears]

Dee....when I read your 'older posts'.....about how hot your classroom gets....I wondered about a portable air conditioner..our  'baby boy' Jeremy lives in Portland, Oregon....he rents a house with 2 other friends...and the house is not air conditioned...and they live in an area where the HOA does not allow window units....it can get very warm there...so he..(being a child of air conditioning)....bought himself a portable air conditioner for his bedroom...

   and there was a situation last summer when one of the apartment air-conditioners went completely out...and we could not get the new one installed for 4-5 days...(it always happens on a Friday night or holiday period)....we were going to buy a portable to put in but the tenant went to stay with family....

 

knowing how hot and humid it can be....why didn't they have the foresight to leave them for another 3-4 weeks...? Am sure you don't have any answers..maybe a few parents can make some 'noise'....to the administration....

 

one of my friends was a super teacher...and she made the remark...'I can teach any child...I just can't teach under some administrations'.....

 

did you see what Laurie posted on the other 'loss of Child'....many of your dear...heart to heart...poems....so glad others can read them....for they touch in just the right 'spot'.....

 

I consider you...and so many on this site....as my dearest friends...

[tobyfreefoot]

thanks everyone. you can guess by looking at the video forest's personality was SOOO big it filled the room. at family gatherings, friends parties, everywhere it is as if 10 people are missing. it just seems so dull and empty now

[Mermaid Tears]

Yes....I can see his big personality....and he must have just loved everyone...and can see that his footprints are all over the place he walked and on your hearts...

 

I think...and this is just me thinking...that the grief journey we are on...the early part is dull...like a cloudy day...every day...and we are dull....because we just don't have the energy to shine...yet.....

[daveydow1]

Dee----So sorry to hear that your school will not be getting any a/c this time,....

and with the temps rising in the Midwest.....it's just so difficult and uncomfortable.

I'm hoping that the predicted heatwave temps will skip your area.

Going to Becky's tomorrow for my grandie...Trenton David's  8th birthday. His birthday

is not until Monday...the 25th, but that is their first day of the new school year.  Trenton

said..."some birthday present !"     Thoughts & prayers.

 

 

  

Shannon----I'm so sorry that you have this extra load of problems to deal with,

on top of your sorrowful grief over dear Trista's leaving this world too soon.  I agree...

that there's not much else that you can do.  I guess his mother thought she was doing

the best that she could, and that if she rescued him 'one more time', that  it would be

the magic wand to get him into rehab and straighten out his life. Sadly, it hasn't worked.

Also, sorry about all the financial mess he's creating for you.  I pray that you and your boys can continue

to go day-by-day and move toward a more stable and serene life.  Peace & prayers, friend.

 

Gretchen---I'm sorry for all your troubles.  I hope that they can all be somehow resolved....but

I do know....as you have said....that no one can fix the heartache you have after Forest's death.

That's something we can't fix.....we can only push forward the best that we can.  Some days we

feel like we're making some headway, and other days just a setback. Wishing you strength, and sending thoughts.

 

 

 THINKING OF EVERYONE, AND WISHING  PEACE    TO    ALL   INDIGOS.

 

 

Davey&Lisasmom,    Sherry

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Thanks to all who feel they are helped by some of my posts. I am truly grateful for all those who come here, sharing in this grief journey.

 

[ericasmom]

What a pretty saying Laurie, about healing. I for one am pretty amazed at how you reach out here. I really liked the piece about the first year adn grief. Very accurate to my knowledge.

[Mermaid Tears]

 

 

 

 

 

This subject comes up for those on the grief journey.....as always...you are the star of your movie....your choice...

 

 

Sunrise...Sunset....

 

My oldest GRANDson.....my youngest GRANDson....

 

always...on my grief journey...I am also in touch with my blessings...

[katibug98]

Shannon~I've been thinking a lot about you.

 

Gretchen~So much going on.  I'm hoping you have a support system to help you out.  Fantastic video of Forrest.

 

Dee~Ugh!  That would be terrible!  We don't have a/c in our building, but with windows open, we do okay.  It's cooling down here though.  It was 48 degrees this morning at 4:30.

 

Laurie~That blog post is perfect.  And I would agree wholeheartedly.

 

 

 

 

 

I've have come to another realization.  I may be 'fine' without a lot of triggers until about a week or so out from my cycle.  I cried myself to sleep snuggled up to Cora's mimi *aka blankie*.  My sister posted a picture of her youngest daughter the other day.  She is a little over a year younger than Cora and they look SO much alike.  I cried over that.  I called to talk to my mom this morning and someone answered the phone *didn't say hello* and hung up.  I'd like to think it was an accident, but she's been so off with all her own issues with my dad and life in general.  I don't even know who she is anymore.  She's taking off and leaving her mother alone for 4-5 months over the winter and her mother had a stroke while she was out here for the services.  It affected her speech, but thankfully, nothing else, but still!

 

I'm not sure what's on my agenda today.  I need to do laundry.  And my house needs some attention.  Ugh!  I'd much rather crawl back in bed.

[katibug98]

I had tried to add this picture of the girls from last year.  This was Halloween.  And I can feel fall coming.  I thought I was ready...warm fall days with cool nights, but I'm not.  I even found pumpkin pie spice creamer and thought, "Yay fall!"  Wait...nope!  I have pictures of the 3 of them from every Halloween.  And every Christmas.  And every Easter.  I can't even fathom taking a picture without her in it.

 

[Kalikama]

Dee--I would encourage the parents to make a fuss over the a/c.  In Germany, if it gets above 75 before 10 a.m., school was let out--at least if they didn't have a/c.  We should have a similar rule. It is hard to kids to concentrate and for you to teach in 80+ degree weather.  I'll bet the principal has a unit in his office.  We cancel school if it is too cold out, even though once the kids are in the building it doesn't affect them.  Your window units probably went back to the spec.ed. classrooms, as those parents do know how to advocate for their kids.

 

Squeaky wheel does get the oil, I guess.  After many emails and unanswered phone calls with the Louisville PD, I emailed the Chief of Police and the NEXT day, I received an email from the narcotics detective AND a phone call from the head of homicide!  Still don't know if they are just appeasing me, but they did tell me they are looking for the guy and will talk to him. (As if he is going to suddenly come clean and tell them everything!).  I did give the guys girlfriend's name and suggested they start with her, as she is probably the weak link--hasn't been in jail yet and since he is in the wind now, they might get her to talk.  I did make it clear that I'm not expecting they will ever be able to pin Ethan's death on him, as the police did nothing to find evidence.  I just want him off the street so no other mom has to get that kind of phone call. EVER.  (Besides, he already has a warrant out for skipping out on probation last year and his probation was supposed to go until 2018.)

 

I loved the essay on the first year.  This is my 2nd "First Year" and it is very different from our oldest's first year.  Harder for sure.  I am 15 years older, for one, and I am still seeking answers, which I didn't have to do for our oldest.  I doubt we will ever put up another Christmas tree, unless it is to just put the ornaments on that represent our kids through the years.  In Ethan's memorial slide show, he is holding the first ornament he ever made and I still have it.  Our remaining son, who is bi-polar and living in a group home will be 30, the day after Christmas.  Celebrations are hard now.  They were hard after the first year, but they are nearly impossible now.  No fun to celebrate when there aren't kids around to share it with.

 

I hope that we all find peace.  Has anyone used a medium?  Less than 2 months after Bobby died, I had a "visit" while sleeping.  It is different from a dream because you never forget it and it gives you peace.  It has been over 4 months since Ethan died and I can barely dream.  I had one sad dream about him, but it was more of how I would've seen things going IF I had known.  I am feeling desperate and there is a medium who my sister has said has "blown away" some of her friends, with what she knew.  Just wondering if anyone else had that experience and if it helped at all.

 

Karen, Ethan and Bobby's mom

aka Kalikama

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Karen, on Mediumship I would recommend Mark Ireland's book, Soul Shift: Finding Where the Dead Go. He had his son die and had some insights based on his own loss experience... I have also know of Near Death Experiencer's who come back with this ability to see someone outside of their physical body. Debra Martin (AZ), Tina Powers from AZ and Chris Stillars from Canada were recommended to me by Mark Ireland.

[ericasmom]

Katie, what beautiful daughters you have, and one day those photos will bring huge comfort but right now they reflect your loss. It is a very difficult time right now, every turn brings you a reminder and a memory and sometimes we just fall to pieces with these. Know that the tears are a release, not a sign of weakness at all, for living one day beyond our is a testament to the strength of us each.

 

Karen, many I know have been to a medium though I have not. I do want some day to go, but just off the street, never with an appointment, it has to be random. I want to walk into a place and see what can be read at that moment. I don't want someone to be able to look up my name and see any part of my story. One of Erica's friends went to a medium in NYC. Just off the street. This was last winter. The medium told her things that were true about her life, and then she said, " you have a friend who died very tragically, violently. Something big hit her and right before she could feel any pain, a hand pulled her to the other side. She lingered though for days, and at first she was very upset to have to leave, she did not want to die. The Girl's grandmom was right there waiting to help her cross over when it was all said and done. She said that she saw football jerseys. Well the first two responders were two football players the same age as Eri, whose car was hit by Eri's car after the train hit hers. They ran to her and told me later that the car was filled with light, that they knew that they could not touch her but her car was filled with light.

I have always believed in mediums. Let us know if you find someone to see.

 

My girl died 6 days after her car was struck by a train. On the way to Michigan from here, a long ride when you know your Child has been hurt, I felt someone's hand on my shoulder, and I told my husband that my Mom just let me know that Erica wasn't going to make it.

[Mermaid Tears]

I, too, KNEW that I would go to a Medium.....I haven't yet....for I 'cocooned' and we have a big family....I own a small apartment complex...and my husband had open heart quadruple by pass surgery 9 months after losing John David...and I knew by instinct I would have to be at a certain 'level' of emotional security within myself to be able to 'contain' myself....in simple language....I would not have a complete emotional / physical meltdown....

     I know I am not there....yet.....

 

Later...I will tell about my 'visitation' dream from John David....it was simply the most amazing 'dream'...ever...I know he came to me....

 

Having a busy Monday....wishing all Peace....

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Dee, thank you for sharing your very special story of Erica's passing. While being very very difficult to experience these types of happenings, these experiences to me confirm the continuity of one's consciousness (ie. spirit or true self) to some other spiritual world/realm, one that is not bound by the physical matter of this present world.

 

Personally, I still pray for Jesse's continued growth there and shout to him I LOVE YOU! as love continues on and I want him to hear this. One of the dreams he came back in, he told me he could not return because he no longer had his physical body. It was about 10 months out from his passing.

 

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Kate, were you able to reschedule Ross's appointment? Is he okay from this car accident, hopefully no other injuries showed up.

 

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Shannon, Lora, Susan, Carol, Colleen, Sherry, Wade, Sailorsmom, Gretchen, Becky, Debbie, Wanda, Mary Ann, thinking of you all today....and so many others who tread this journey...

 

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Kati, it is good you found the blog post of some help. The first holidays are hard indeed. I do not see our family getting into holidays again. Of course, if it is something that helps a person heals, then it is important for your family to continue.

 

Sending prayers and gentleness for all here.

 

[Angel Boy of Mine]

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=4512017175917&set=vb.1755288865&type=2&theater

 

Ducklings at 5 weeks!

[Jeff's Mom]

Becky, they are just adorable. I can't get over how quickly they are growing.

 

Laurie, Ross was not hurt in the accident...thanks for asking. It was only a minor incident, but could have been much worse. We have been able to have the memorial bench placed further back and we replanted the garden on Saturday. Part of me wanted to leave it until next spring but I just had to fix it up after the storm.

 

Dee, I thought of you a few times today. I certainly hope the temps are cooling off. It has been a very chilly few days here. In fact wen we returned home few minutes ago we could smell our neighbours fireplace on. They are calling for warmer weather in a day or so.

 

Regarding seeking out a Medium...I too have always found myself interested. What was so neat about what happened to me was that at the time I had my "visit"...so to speak...well, it was the farthest thing from my mind and something that I had definitely not planned. I have to say that I considered it a great gift and have found a deep sense of comfort and peace in knowing Jeff is ok. Apart from that...I no longer feel I need to look for confirmation.

 

Wishing everyone a peaceful evening. Kate

[Kalikama]

Kate--I , too, never had any inclination to go to a medium after Bobby died, because his "visit" was less than 2 months after he died and it took that inclination away, immediately.  However, it has been almost 5 months since Ethan died and no visit, nary a dream.  I want to know that he is okay.  I fear for him as he was so young and not expecting this.  

 

I was invited by a friend to a famous medium coming to her house, but they require advance payment via credit card and when I looked it up online, even though he is evidently quite famous, many people said he didn't tell them anything he couldn't have found online.  There is one that only takes cash, nearby, so I might try her, first.

[Mermaid Tears]

Kate...I was thinking of you when Dee shared her 'Eri-light' story....

   for the new ones....I wish you would share your story of the 'lady in the tea room'....

I remember when you shared your story...it brought a great solace to me...

[shorty16]

Hello my friends,

I wanted to join the talk about Mediums.

Brian's soul went through me when he died. Even though that was 6 years ago, the experience let me know Brian was happy and safe.

I would love to hear about another's experience with Mediums.

Colleen, Brian's Mom 4ever

[Mermaid Tears]

Colleen....I remember when you posted that story of your experience to 'us' new ones....

   I was humbled ....

[daveydow1]

Dee----After Davey died, I considered.....(for awhile)....going to a medium, but

have never done that.  I am not against mediums.....just haven't gone to any.

When Becky told me about the spiritual message that she received from

Dave.....about a week after he passed, it was a message of assurance that

he was in heaven.  That was enough for me.  I've been busy canning (tomatoes).

Grandie, Trenton David, is 8 today, and they had a birthday party for him yesterday.

Lots of kids having fun.....and Becky's great girlfriends to sit & visit with.  Fun time.

 

 

Kalik------

Sometimes dreams or messages that your son is fine may come

whenever you least expect it.  Wishing you peace, friend.

 

 

Colleen

---Good to see you. So glad that Brian's sweet spirit went through you to

give you solace & peace.  I've had some little quirky stuff going on with

my computer, so haven't been on here as much.  Also, it's a busy time

of year for everyone it seems.  

 

 

 

PEACE    AND  TRANQUILITY   TO   ALL   INDIGOS

.

 

Davey&Lisasmom,   Sherry 

[Jeff's Mom]

Thanks Susan, I hope this gives comfort to anyone reading it.

 

I had planned to have lunch with a friend from our church. She was the personal assistant to our minister, or priest as some call him. I was raised as a Catholic... but had left to join the Anglican faith. I mention this as I was very worried due to their stand on suicide. 

 

It was a miserable day. The rain came down in sheets and it was very damp and windy. When my friend arrived arrived she asked me where I would like to go. We had not made any reservations and so we sat for a few minutes considering our options. Out of the blue I suggested a small Tea House that was situated in a lovely town approximately a half hour from here.

 

When we arrived she dropped me at the front of the house as it was so wet and she left to find a parking spot. I walked in and asked for a table. The place was packed. They asked me if I would be alright with sitting in their add on three season sunroom that was actually quite comfortable. She led me to a table at the back in the corner. My friend joined me shortly after. We ordered our meal and settled in for a comfortable visit. Approximately half way through two women walked into the room with a little boy. They were seated not far from us. They ordered their meal. They were in their late twenties to mid thirties. Can't honestly say as I am not a great judge as to age. Anyway...at one point I noticed the one woman that was seated facing me looking at me in a kind of strange way. I felt uncomfortable for a few minutes. When they got up to leave she walked towards our table as the other woman held the little boys hand and walked out of the room. She stopped for a second as if wondering what to do and then proceeded to our table. She told me that she normally did not do this, but that he was so determined that she give this message that she felt compelled to do so. She then asked if I had a young man that had passed away recently. My knees shook. My friend reached down under the table and grabbed my hand. She asked me if I was ok. She told me that he wanted me to know that he was "OK". That was it. That he was "OK". That there was a beautiful light surrounding us. The waitress was standing beside our table in a doorway and looked stunned. Another table of four ladies fell silent. One woman looked quite frightened. I could not move. I was so shaken, but also happy that my son had been give the permission to let me know he was in a better place and doing fine. Just for the record I asked this woman if she did this for a living. She said no. That she was there for me.  I questioned the waitress and she told me that they had never seen them before. Since that chance meeting I have had a sense of deep peace. I miss my son tremendously, but know without a doubt that he lives in another place and that we will be reunited again in time. I am grateful for the gift of that visit. There is no doubt whatsoever that it was real. Two months later my husband was diagnosed with end stage three colon cancer. His mother had died of colon cancer not long before. I know without a doubt that Jeff was there to give me support with what was about to come. God works in mysterious ways.

[Kalikama]

Colleen--when our oldest died, I was driving with my mom after we had dropped our youngest off at a 3 day summer camp.  This was before everyone had cellphones.  I had one in the car and it was the size of a regular home phone, nowadays.  On the drive home, I felt my breath taken away.  I thought it was weird, since we didn't have windows open and my allergy season had passed, but I took out my inhaler anyway.  When I got back to the house to pick up food for the 4th of July picnic, before dropping off my mom, there were a TON of messages on the machine and food in my oven.  I called the party host's house and got her mother in law who told me that I needed to get to the hospital, as Bobby had collapsed.  I actually listened to the messages (NOBODY remembered I had a cellphone) and told my mom that she was going to have to go with me to the hospital and I called my dad to have him come up and take mom home.  I NEVER, once, felt anything ominous except that weird breath taking experience.  Even on the way to the hospital, i told my mom, "This doesn't feel like it is going to be bad."  Bobby had collapsed before, so I wasn't panicky. Once I got there, the nurse said they were doing CPR and I was oblivious and just asked if they intubated him because he would be REALLY pissed if they did.  When I got into the room, everyone was so quiet.  My husband was praying by his feet.  I just asked, "What happened?"  They tried "shocking" him 2 times, while I was there, to no avail.  They called it and it was still sunny outside when we left.  How can people still be moving when my son just DIED???  I think we all get that feeling--like the world should stop.  6 weeks later, Bobby came to me in a dream and I KNOW it was a visit.  He was so healthy looking--no more blue lips, beautiful color in his skin and all around him.  I will NEVER forget it.  The peace that gave me made the next 15 years bearable.

 

 Now that Ethan has died, I cannot believe I didn't "sense" it.  I had had a wonderful day with one of my autistic clients and her first horseback riding lesson with a friend of mine.  I was on top of the world when I came home.  One hour later, my husband came home and told me.  The breath taken away from me was shock and I fell to the floor.  Then he got the coroner on the phone so I could ask her any questions.  I have not "felt" Ethan or dreamed about him, except once.   He was my baby and we were SO close and I feel so inept that I didn't "feel" that he was gone.  I DO blame him, out loud, though when things go missing--he and Bobby are up there pranking me.

[Kalikama]

Kate--what a COOL experience. I would love for that to happen, although I would probably cry my eyes out!

 

 I've had Ethan's friends say they dreamt about him, but only one of them seemed like it was a "visit".  She was so afraid to tell me, because she thought I'd think she was crazy.    I was so jealous in one way and so happy for her in another.  She is Muslim and had never had any experience like that and wouldn't even tell her family.   But the fact that she remembered it so clearly and what he had said, although at this point his message about "that night" hasn't turned out to be factual, but it was quite close.  He named who he with and it was close, but she may have "heard" it wrong.  

 

I am waiting for some "word" from Ethan, but maybe he thinks I'm just not ready for it.  

[karenthiemermann]

Hello all! It's 3am. I've had a very difficult night; unable to sleep and when I did, had a terrible nightmare. It was so vivid and frightening. I just had to get up and do something . I don't feel comfortable going back to bed.

 

I've been reading all the posts about mediums and I must admit I'm " on the fence" about them. When my girl passed, I did have several visions of her, but they weren't pleasant ones at all. I even felt her brush past me. I really haven't felt much of her presence since then. I do have the poem she "sent" to me, telling me that she is not gone, but here in everything I see; I just don't "feel" it. I can still try to really think about the fact that she is no longer physically with me, yet I have a hard time accepting that. I still expect her to call me and chat about what's going on in life.

 

Michael spent the weekend with us again. We are truly growing so much closer and have had some deep, honest conversations. He's struggling, but doing ok. He intends on coming every chance he gets and that makes me so happy.

 

I will be attending a women's class at church on Sept. 7; it's called a "step" class where we can all feel safe to talk to each other about hurts and hang-ups and learn how to overcome them. It's an intensive 12 week course and I'm nervous, yet excited about it. I've not opened up freely with strangers before so it will be challenging.

 

We ordered Michael ( for his birthday), a framed canvas portrait of Michelle; 8 x 11. It arrived yesterday and is breathtakingly beautiful. I hope he likes it. I'm still planning a celebration that weekend for him and our Michelle. Meal and cake requests are in: stroganoff and Italian cream cake. I think we'll make a video to post on her FB page. 

 

I'm thinking about doing something with her wedding dress but I don't know exactly what yet. I know it needs to be cleaned as it has some yellowing. I really want to see if it fits me; just to put it on. Does that sound strange? She wore that dress on the most important day of her life and I guess I want to see if I "feel" her by wearing it.

 

It has been very, very hot down here: 102 degrees the past week or so. Way too hot for my plants outside. Some of my herbs are dying. Yesterday, Achim set up an area indoors with a little open bookshelf where I can put my seedlings. I started several things  and will do some more today after I get some more compost.

 

A Podiatrist will be the next, in my long list of specialists, to see. The neuropathy in my left foot has progressed some and I have a horrible ingrown toenail that needs attention. It's so painful, I can barely wear shoes. I surely don't want to end up with an infection.

 

Still waiting to find out when the Food Network show that Achim is on will air. I'll be sure and pass that along.

 

We have some errands to run this morning before it gets really hot. I need to exercise but it's difficult to when one hasn't slept. I'll just have to play that by ear and do some stretching indoors. My muscles seem to be in pretty good shape. The spinal issues remain, but I'll be continuing with procedures to help with that. I won't have back surgery.

 

I hope everyone has a good week. May your children continue to live on!!

 

PEACE and LOVE!!

 

Karen