Loss of an Adult Child

[mikesmomrs]

Lorri: Sorry you didn't make it to the Bahamas...but glad you all are safe. You all are being watched over by a beautiful angel...

Kathy: I too loved the photos of Tavian...he is one serious fisherman. Stay safe, and so glad that Ashley is coming to spend time there...wonderful that you have a friend of Jess's wanting to share "rememories" of your sweet angel with you.

Colleen: yes, loved the pics of the sunflowers also, especially the reddish ones...haven't seen them before. Maybe we will try to plant some next year. Thanks for sharing.

Sus: I am glad that Amanda is heading inland, may be more rain there, but it is higher up in the state and the storm is supposed to ease off a bit as it gets there. Damon LOVES his legs, too...he and Ralph (and Damon's brothers, if they are here) spend hours, making things. Damon is REALLY creative...more so than I could ever be.

All of our friends in the path of this storm...including our daughter Kim and her family and Ralph's sister and her family, please stay safe. Thank you, all of you, for your prayers and thoughts for us here in the path of the big wind...

Dee: Yes, I also remember from previous posts that at teh beginning of the year, you tend to get wiped out...good for your wonderful John to gently remind you. Take care, and I know my dear friend, that you take much too good care of yourself to wear out this soon! You are an inspiration to all of us. Your students will be better people for your tough love...wish I had known that a few years ago! Tough to do, but the end result is worth it...I am learning this only now, at 66 years old...some of us take a little longer. siiiighhh. As for the ballgames, they have moved Sunday's game to this evening, as the rain isn't supposed to start here till later this evening. Our game starts at noon today, and it is beautiful and sunny still. Speaking of our game, I posted this on facebook earlier this am:

Last night, out to pick up subs with Mike's middle son, Kam, stopped at the ATM for some cash for today's Red Sox ballgame in honor of Mike's birthday, Kam and I were talking about the first time we went and how we got seats in the same section where Mike and I had sat when he asked me to come to the game every year around his birthday and bring his boys, if I could. As Kam we pulled around the corner of the building a car was parked in front of us. This was the plate: (yes, I do believe in angels!)

[ericasmom]

WEll Carol, so good to know that you all are able to have the game after all. What a lovely sign from Mike-he is the master of signs to be sure. He may even be giving classes to the Angels on how to leave good signs for families and friends. I can see them all hanging around his tie-dyed energy, they listen to Marley and Grateful Dead and learn from Magnificent Mike. Thank you for sharing these wonderments, warms the heart.

I am going off on a bike ride, just local, did not do any of the rides I had hoped to do this summer, back does not cooperate when I go more than an hour. Carol thanks for also reminding me of previous years, I guess it is like childbirth, we forget the hardship because the beauty far outweighs the pain. It will be a group to reckon with, but oh my they are cute. I have two new to the district, a boy from what appears to be a contentious divorce, adn a girl who plain out told me that she did not have supplies because her family is broke. She went home yesterday with a new backpack and supplies from the Eri-fund. I have a child who is truly tiny, and she was born with issues that cause her to wear braces on her legs. She is as cute as a bug and has some processing issues but I think that everyone has been so enamored with her that they have not held her accountable for her work. She is a bright young lady who really knows how to manipulate adults. I told her I was going to be like white on rice. She said, what is that? I said, I am going to be on you, watching and making sure of you, you can't scrape the white of of rice, or brown of of brown rice, I am like that. She smiled and said, ' so do I still have to miss 10 minutes of recess,?"

I said, "Yep, you do and will each time you choose to do nothing instead of working on our projects."

The new boy pushed antoher of my students off some equipment on the playground yesterday...another child reached across the desks and turned his deskmates math book to face him, opened up to the page he was still working on and copied the answers. Well I caught that and told him that he may have the answers now, but he took something away with that. He stared at me and I said, you just threw away my trust and it will take a lot of effort to get it back. He lost 10 minutes of recess as well, but he was told he will miss much more if that happens again and he will call his mom from my room and tell her what he did if it happens again. I never say, If I catch you again, as that is an invitation to get trickier.

So I guess now after writing it out, that i see why I was so very tired.

Have a beauty day everyone, it is the kind of weather that makes my heart happy.

[Guest msnher]

Dee You just described the last 2 1/2 yrs of my life times 10 with only three children. Add grief of losing Steph to the mix and I'm amazed I survived at all. But, I did survive. And, a lot of it was because of your helpful suggestions. I tentatively say we have relaxed into a more comfortable, functional rythm. Tentative because as soon as I make it concrete it will all blow up. My biggest silent gripe these days is Grandpa. For example, this morning I sent Jasmine back to her room to change out of her new jeans and into play jeans. She did. Grandpa saw her and immediately asked her why she changed her clothes and then begins to give a lecture. I hate his lectures. The kids hate his lectures even more. They would rather listen to one of my yelling tirades than Grandpa's "talks". So, I let them listen to Grandpa's talks. UNLESS it is about something I told them to do or not to do. I interrupted, as I do on these occasions, and told him she was doing exactly what I told her to do. He said okay and let it go. But it really irritates me. Oh, I'm on a run. I'm going to vent about my perfect husband.

Table manners. He has them, but they're incorrect, but he doesn't know it. He gets on Jonathon and tells Jonathon to unfold his napkin to wipe his face. They're cheap, thin napkins. One ply. They rip every time Jonathon wipes his face. Then he tells the kids to cut their food with their forks, forgoing the knife. Now, we're in agreement on shoulders off the table and eating with their mouths shut. Most of the time I keep my mouth shut about this stuff. I figure I'll choose my battles and I don't want to belittle my husband...especially in front of the children. Only once do I remember correcting him in front of them concerning manners. I can't even remember what it was, but it was enough to bring embarrassement if they followed his advice. Shoot! Then I ate lunch at school with my kids and Jonathon ate like a pig. I didn't correct him (there) because all the little boys were eating like little pigs but I was flabbergasted!

Did you know my husband used to buy two-ply paper towels and pull them apart so he would have double the amount. He used to make one Qtip last two days. One side for one day and the other side for the next day. That ended abruptly when we got married. His parents were from the depression era and it all stuck. Yesterday he happened to call from Home Depot to see if I needed anything from home depot. I asked why he was at home depot...it was to buy threading to fix the rocking lawn chair. "I took that to the dump months ago" I told him. He was sorely disappointed. But, that's how our home is. Junk. Trash. Speaking of dump runs. My husband organizes his trash! He maps it out to see exactly how it will fit in the truck. "JUST THROW THE DAMN JUNK IN THE BACK OF THE TRUCK!"

However, I have also done things, myself, when he was out of town so that I could just get it done and be done with it only to have him have to redo it because I skipped some vital steps.

So, that's my marriage. We are best friends and usually work quite well together. He hates my yelling at the kids (I hate it too). I hate his quiet lectures. I really hate his demand to know why from the kids. He will ask a two year old why they did something and sit there and expect an answer. "Why did you take the sharpie and color on the wall? You are smart enough to know that you don't color on the walls with a marker, aren't you?" To a two year old. I kid you not!

Oh. He keeps lists and makes notes. He is now on vacation. He has mapped out his vacation with what chores he is going to do. He will spend 33 minutes a day tinkering in his shop. Tinkering. Not to be confused with piddling. He will correct you if you confuse the two. And, 33 minutes. Not 30. Not 35. 33. The plus about that is when he calls to tell me he is 6 minutes away, he is literally 6 minutes away.

He tried to map out my days when we first got married. I don't need to tell you how well that went over.

Oh. My husband doesn't swear. Ever. He doesn't even say damn. He is soft spoken and never swears. He yelled the F word at me once out of frustration. I was pleased he knew how to get angry. It upset him so deeply I vowed never to upset him like that again. I was wanting a fight. And, I got one.

When Steph died, he wanted to be helpful. I called him from the hospital to tell him Steph had died. When I got home I said I had to call my sisters. "Oh, I already emailed them." I did yell at him, then..."You don't email that kind of news, Gary!"

When he fights with me he gets very polite. Cold politeness. Oh...and, it's all my fault. He's polite about it, though. "I dumped the wet cement in front of the house because I figured you didn't want it by the back door".

Okay. I'm done. My perfect husband and I sometimes bat heads. He was raised by the Clevers, doesn't swear, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke...he would make a wonderful Mormon. I was raised on the streets and in foster homes, have the mouth of a sailor, an alcoholic and smoker (haven't drank in 9yrs or smoked in 2 weeks) ...yet, we work. I am a procrastinator...he is a list maker (and sticks to it). I am liberal and he is conservative. Yet, we work.

Thanks for listening!

Susannah/ Gary's wife.

[Guest msnher]

To be fair, Grandpa was practically a single parent for the last two years, so I'm very grateful. He did tell the kids the purpose of washing their hair was to wash their hair, not their scalp. Serious as a heart attack.

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[Guest msnher]

Karen - first deep sigh of relief to know where you are. No worries, if the storm gets bad I'll call 911. Did I read correctly? Your ex's soon to be next exwife? Seriously. Wish I could see the look on some people's faces. I don't like her. I don't like Shawn's wife. I don't them at all. They rank right up there with Trudi's Micheal's daughter's mother's family. Don't mess with my peeps.

Gary's a hoot. About the hair washing comment. He had the kids take baths and wash their own heads. At that time, I still washed their hair...I still check to make sure all the soap is out. Jonathon and Jasmine still had shampoo in the roots of their hair. He wanted to know why the shampoo was there...by their scalp...it's supposed to be on your hair. I really, really do adore him. I hope it doesn't come across differently. Before Stephanie died he never had to wash a dish, cook a meal or do anything with the kids. I did everything. He learned quickly after Steph died, God bless him!

I'm glad your at your own home, Karen. Love you.

[ericasmom]

Karen, while you may have hoped for more from your trip, it sounds as though you have a full bank of experiences that were outside of your current home and for that I am glad. Sometimes just leaving the area where you spend the majority of your time is key. I am sorry that your friend is not feeling she has a purpose here, and I am sorry that you have felt that same kind of pull. I am happy that Jesse is your new pet, I had a dog named jesse when I was a child. She was the nicest creature. The hope to clear your head and unclog those places that seem clogged is a process that over time, will happen. I admire the ways that you know how to take care of yourself while out there on the road. That is something that many of us do not know. Thanks for your comment on my teacher-life. Glad that you are home and have supplies.

Sus, I was happy to hear that Jonathon remembered the story you read him, he may be making some developmental gains now that he is feeling safe and much more settled. All partners get on the nerves of their partners no matter what! Step away from the list maker and take a walk.

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[daveydow1]

Sus-----I hope this comes through.

[daveydow1]

Sus-----Oh Good ! -------Jonathon did get to see CARS 2. The quilt may look a bit blue in the

pic, but it is all lavender & purple borders, ....the 50 state patches are hand-embroidered...

( love that part.....doing the hand embroidery).......the hand quilting...not my favorite part to do.

Do you have any of Steph's toys/dolls or anything as keepsakes ? I know sometimes I did

not end up with much from the older kids, but had quite a bit from the younger ones. Becky

loved paper dolls......just loved them. I still have some of the ones she had. Had to laugh

about your stories of your husband.

Dee-----Thanks for your kind words. The fair starts Aug. 31 thru Labor Day. Your tough love

in the classroom will no doubt pay off.....especially to the benefit of the kids. It's good that

you caught, and dealt swiftly with, the boy who cheated, and the other one who misbehaved

on the playground. I guess children will usually try to get away with things, but you set them

straight in the beginning......good thing. Now they know where they stand.

Kathy----I forgot to say I'm sorry for your loss of Jessica's friend, Claudia. Such a tragedy.

Sending prayers for all.

Lor----So glad that you are safe......I thought about you the minute I heard on the news that

there was a hurricane in the Carribean, and am so glad that you got out of the area.

Karen-----I am still hoping & praying that Irene is downgraded, and is not too strong. Stay safe, friend.

Carol---- Hope you had fun at the ballgame today. The sign for MIKE'S BIRTHDAY will be thrilling to see,

at the great Fenway Park. Your angel spoke to you.......on the license plate. Yes,.....our angels do send

us messages, don't they? Peace to you.

PEACE TO ALL IN THE INDIGO FAMILY.

Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry

[Guest msnher]

Love, love, love the quilt, Sherry! Did you hand embroider each state and flower? Machine or by hand it's just beautiful!

Karen, I almost forgot I quit smoking today for about an ion of a second. So far so good, though. I didn't mind the fact that the cigs were killing me, I just didn't want to feel sick while they did it.

Dee, a walk was not in the plans for me today. We were going to go bike riding but Jonathon started running a fever. I knew he was sick before he knew he was sick. My honey finished his list for today and is now relaxing beside me reading his kindle. I would hate to see his list on his wife. My song to him is "Because you loved me" by Celine Dion. Absolutely the truth, lists and odd habits and all.

[ericasmom]

Sherry, the quilt is AMAZINGLY beautiful, such a labor of love and a creative output that is beyond the realm. Super great luck to you at the fair, so proud of you for finishing it and showing it. Thanks for your teacher remarks...

Sus, glad taht the day is good and that Hubby is sitting nearby relaxing, does he input the minutes of relaxing? Kidding. There were several children running low grade fevers last week already. Immune systems are a bit depressed due to being around a ton of kids, allergies, and nervous back to school lack of sleep stuff. I hope he is well and the weekend is peaceful.

Betty be safe among all those evacuating the city.

All you storm-folk, let us know when you can how you are doing. My sis-in-law is in Plymouth Mass. she was not planning on evacuating as she is on high ground, but her sons in Boston are a block off the water so it could be that they moved.

[mysonrich]

The wind is starting to really pick up now. Some small electric disturbance. Wildwood, where I was last weekend is getting hit very very hard. Sarah is in Brooklyn NY, she did not have to evacuate, moved her car to higher ground. Betty was OK last I heard. The eye, is not here yet. Have flashlights,water,canned goods. Hopefully the electric stays on. Tornado warnings in DE, near MaryAnns and a bit east in Southern Jersey. Lots of flooding expected.

[mikesmum]

Hoping Irene is passing by without much damage to all in her path. Keeping up with the radar weather warnings for you all.

Karen - Oh I love your pup. Australian Kelpie (cattle dog), solid loyal and so smart. Yep its really hard to find place where you can stay with a dog. We have 'pet friendly' places but the rules for the dogs are not really all that friendly. Never apologise for the long post, this is the one place where we get to 'tell it all' without explanantion.

Have had a great weekend with grandies. Em's party went well, she was pooped as was Caleb just waiting up for her till 9.30pm. We bonded over Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull.

I'm being interviewed for my WWCC (working with children check) tomorrow so best 'study' my being normal manual.

Stay safe my Indigo Family......

[ericasmom]

Hey, pass the 'being normal manual' I will also need to study from that book.

Betsy, glad that you have provisions should you need them. I pray that you are safe, sounds like even with downgrading the strength of hurricane, the flooding is still the issue.

Sleep tight All, and hopes that in the morning light birds will be singing and the rain diminishing.

[shellyku]

Good (early) Morning All Indigos - I've been catching up through very tired eyes this morning

and I didn't write anything down like I usually do to respond to each one of you, so sorry in

advance if I forget someone or something!

Betsy - sounds like an awesome trip even if you didn't feel it was what you were expecting.

I wish I had the intestinal fortitude to take off like that...what an adventure! Prayers for you

as the storm nears.

Sus - Your story of you and Gary was side-splitting! You have such a fun, humerous way of

writing. I know you have quoted Erma Bombeck in the past...you have a lot of her attributes in

the way you write!

I know I should have written names and posts down, because now I'm getting confused!

Forgive the mix-ups that are about to occur:

The quilt - AWESOME! Such beautiful work! How long did that sucker take? It is sure to win

a prize!

Carol - What a license plate to come upon! Awesome sign!

Dee - You sound like an excellent teacher! Sarah taught 5th grade for 3 years before moving

to a middle school where she taught as a reading specialist for 7th and 8th graders for 2 years

before she died. She much preferred the younger ones. In a near-future post I will quote some

excerpts(sp) from some of the letters her 7th grade students wrote after she passed away. My

husband and I donated a large collection of books that she accrued over her teaching years

to her middle school. The librarian there sorted them, cataloged them, then displayed them

in a bookcase in the library. Above the bookcase she decorated the bulletin board beautifully

with the words, "In Memory of Miss Kuti...Teacher and Friend". She asked Sarah's students to

write to us to thank us for the books and to share some of their memories of Miss Kuti. Blew

us away!

I MUST remember to write my notes next time as I know I'm forgetting a lot of you. Part of

the reason I wanted to post this morning is to tell you all of the awesome experience we

had the other night:

Dear, dear friends of Sarah and Andy's from high school moved to LA some years ago.

Sarah and Andy have visited them out there several times, and they come home to PA

twice a year. They were home last week, so we planned a "Sarah Selebration" dinner, gift

exchange, and balloon launch. We waited til dark to do the balloon launch because I bought

clear balloons with white butterflies on them, and we inserted little "pin lights" in them before

they were filled with helium. There were 12 balloons. When it was time to release them, we

all yelled "We love you Sarah", and then let them go. It was a very cloudy night, on the verge of

rain, so we didn't think we would see them for very long. As they ascended, they hung together

for a little while, then started to separate a bit, but what happened next was unbelievable.

The formed the shape of an "S"! It was incredible...chills! We watched those balloons, with

their tiny little pin lights in them, for a good mile up. We were all just standing there quiet...

couldn't believe it! Sarah - you are amazing and you are my heart!

Hope everyone in the path of Irene stays safe and dry and that all Indigos have a blessed day!

[mikesmum]

Hey Indigo's. Know those of you along the East Coast aren't having an easy time of it. Prayers with you.

This day has been hard. Have Em and Caleb, waiting for a call from Melissa about picking them up. Around 1.30pm had that uneasy feeling in my stomach. Around 3 I rang Melissa's phone..no answer. Rang her partners it was the same. About 3.30pm Jeremy rang back. Melissa had broken her leg while riding in bushland miles away.

She is okay, I have spoken with her. She is for surgery later tonight or early tomorrow, needs a pin and plate for tib fib break. She wears all the gear, is registered and licenced but nevertheless, am holding my breath till I see her.

Em and Caleb here tonight, school tomorrow. I hate that this journey and the experience of losing Mike has me rattled beyond belief......

Done for now...thanks Indigo's

[ericasmom]

Shelly, there she was all lit up in the night sky letting you know, she will always be with you. Powerful message from Sarah, and powerful messages from her students too for you to know how she touched their lives. I am sure she will be long remembered by her students. Nothing easy about it, but it sure is nice when there are signs.

Trudi, your gut told you and you were right. I am so sorry that Melissa was injured. Didn't this happen last year as well? Seems my memory is picking up a story that found her injured while you were babysitting. NO? Prayers for Melissa that she come through surgery in good shape and not in too much discomfort. Prayers for the kids as they worry and for you as I understand fully what your shaking heart is feeling. Our losses (at least for many of us) have made us so afraid it is hard sometimes to see through it all.

[mysonrich]

Trudi, so sorry to hear about Melissa. What was she riding? How far away from you is she? And thanks for hanging out with me last night off and on. You too sushannah. I was calling Sarah Friday afternoon. Her voice mail was full. That was not a good feeling. And yes, I called her friends and their parents. New phone, voice-mail wouldn't delete. I can relate to being rattled.

Karen, home just in time.( I know, in time for what) I can see you swimming in the rain..I wounder about after Rich died. Not as far. In a way I think I was searching for him. Sorry I missed you. My dad was not discharged so any plans for his care were nixed. Very frustrating but for his own good. The Dr would not let him go home, as much as he is fighting them.Getting the sway bar repaired Friday. Maybe I'll take a drive north.

ShellyKU, a shinning hello from Sarah. The balloon release sounds truly amazing.

Lorri, good to hear from you. Go, run, go, running as you type. You are very skilled in that area.

I have been awake most of the night. We are 5o miles from the coast but still we were watching,listening,waiting for the tornado warning to pass. I strained my hears listening. What does one listen for? I figured I would shove my aunt into a hallway closet since she can't make it to the basement. She told me she was sick to her stomach. I was thinking, 911. I really think watching the news for 24 hours made her sick. She is ok this morning.

The bad news, I have watercolor paintings that are now a bit runny. A Louis Icart print from my mom is damp. I haven't look further.

The good news, family and friends by the shore are fine and knowing that NJ can evacuate 1 million people from that area quickly.

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[mikesmomrs]

Came on a few minutes ago, right in the middle of a post, the power went out. So, while we have this reprieve of its being on again, I will just post that we are okay...winds are picking up, but for the most part, just a lot of rain. Gald to hear that everyone is okay so far. Betsy, still praying things will be okay there. Our Kim and her family (in NOrfolk, VA) got through it okay. Downtown had a lot of flooding, but their house is okay. Bright sun and beautiful day there now. YAY!

So sorry about Melissa, Trudi, but so glad she is okay except for the broken leg...we do all know those stomach jitters. I agree with Dee, didn't something happen to Melissa last year where she had an accident? My prayers to her for a good recovery...the plate and pins and all will likely be painful, but our prayers are with her. Holding our breath right along with you, sweet friend. Give her a hug for us all.

Karen: so glad you got home okay...yes, you are something else...can't see myself spending the night in the auto parts parking lot...wouldn't know what to ask for when they opened up, anyway! Last time we spent the night in a parking lot on a trip, Ralph pulled over very late at night, somewhere between here and Mississippi...I was already asleep. Woke up to a LOUD train whistle, and in the still dark of the early morning, saw a train light coming straight for us...scared the pee right out of me, scrambling to hubby to wake up and MOVE THE DAMN CAR!!!!...turned out the train track curved away from us before it got there (couldn't see it in the half morning dark/light), hubby dear got a chewing out for parking somewhere that he didn't check out first! We were on our honeymoon!!! First thought after we got clear was "oh, what have I done?!?!"

Hope Kathy is okay...saw on the news that the beaches surrounding her are taking a pounding.

Going to sign off before the power goes off again. Will post again later. Love to all.

[ericasmom]

Oh Carol, what had you done, gone and married the man of your dreams but at the time...can I get out of this? So glad you stuck it our with Ralph, he is a gem and he married a gem. Shiny wonderful you.

Glad you are well and that Kim is fine and in the sun again. Like the storms she has come through, out in the sun again. HOORAY!

[andy88]

Hello Dear Friends,

Well Irene has come and gone without much damage here in Raleigh. Today is a beautiful, sunshiny day. I hope those north of us are all doing ok. I'm so sad to see that we have new people who have joined us on this sad road. My heart and love go out to you all. I took all the "goodies" off Andy's grave so they wouldn't blow away. I'll go take them back today :-) Not a lot new here. I am feeling a little stronger every day. Tonight I'm going to a 21st birthday dinner for one of Andy's friends. i am so blessed to still have those great kids in my life. They save me.

Sherry - the quilt is just beautiful!

Trudi - so glad Melissa is ok

Mike's Mom and Shawn's Mom - stay safe!!

Everyone - Love ya lots! Be well.

Pam

[ericasmom]

Pam, I am happy that you are surrounded with Andy's friends. I had that wonderful gift as well when Eri died, and for the first 3 years especially. I still communicate and see many of the Kids who are all now 27 and 28...their lives have become busier and several have moved but we shared something wonderful: Erica. She will always keep us connected adn so pursuing those connections is something worth doing.

[mikesmum]

Oh it was so good to log on and see many of the 'East Coasters' online and aside from being soggy, okay.

Well Melissa is for surgery late afternoon today (Monday). Both grandies are off at school after a 'what am I doing' start for grandma. Frazzled brain trying to remember the school routine.

Melissa rang as I was heading back here. She's comfortable now that they have given her some oxynorm. Before that they pulled off her bike boot without any pain relief. All I can say is they are luck I'm here and not up there.......it might have been ugly.

She is confident that she will be back riding.... Me, well ..

It was a comedy of sorts yesterday trying to locate Melissa after hearing she broke her leg. Em and I scoured FB to find any of their friends that had gone on the ride with her. After some brilliant detective work we found the guy whose Uncle drove her to hospital.

All the group, she was the only female, said they were amazed at her stamina throughout. They carried her out on a doona with 2 guys supporting her badly broken leg.

Still won't get to see her much before Wednesday or Thursday. She's about 3hrs away if I fly down the freeway. But I'm in charge of the kids so I will try to maintain the 'normality' here for them.

Off for an interview for a Working With Children Check.....need this to be able to enter the classroom to work with the kids their....what a world....

Thanks for all being here, for sending your love and support for Melissa.....I really think our experiences have bought as together in a positive way.....together we overcome many of life's little obstacles.....

[ericasmom]

I am happy that you are with the kids Trudi, it both keeps them focused and stable and helps you have a very important job that keeps you focused too. I have no doubt that your Daughter was sporting stamina, she learned it from the best of the best. Peace my dear and good luck with your interviews.

WEnt to a shower today hosted by Shannon's aunties, a lovely and fun group. We had a nice time and Shannon was so pleased with the affair.

Peace and goodnight all, a lovely day tomorrow.

[mikesmum]

Daughter in theatre having leg repaired, my heart is with her. Grandson watching Monsters and Aliens, granddaughter doing year 7 homework.....think that's pretty normal..

[ericasmom]

Prayers for great recovery for Melissa and a sense of well-being overall.

Bless this Child of Trudi, mother of Beauties, sister of Two Wonderful Brothers and let her heal in the warmth of her family's love.

[shorty16]

Trudi, I am still a Grandma wanna-be. I do get to spend time with my daughter's friends babies, but none of my own.

How fun it must be for you to play, color (I love coloring), cooking, nursing, etc. these kids. Yes, that is perfectly normal.

How is the temp. by you Trudi? Winter by you now, right? While most of the US has been smacked by Hurricane Irene, in Wisconsin the weather is the best. Warm, sunny with a light breeze. Scott and I went for a long walk down the bug-line trail in our area. Believe it or not, I only got bit twice by mosquitoes (sp).

Thinking of you, my friend!!

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[Guest msnher]

Trudi - So sorry to hear about Melissa's broken leg. I hate that feeling or knowing that something isn't right and not being able to get in touch with a loved one. It's worse since Stephanie died. Now, just a siren can bring on an anxiety attack. I'm glad you have her children. I chuckled when you said you had to try to remember how to get the gets to school. I get it. Anyway, I'm glad Melissa isn't hurt worse and that she will recover and I'm glad you are doing okay with her kids.

Carol - I can just see you trying to wake Ralph up to MOVE THE DAMN CAR! So funny. I can't remember exactly what he said when we all piled in the car from the lobster place...something like "Don't worry about my driving, I've wrecked more cars than either of you have owned." or something like that. You two together. A good combination!

Karen - Have the storms passed? Amanda finally called me yesterday to let me know they were fine. She said we get worse winds here in Wyoming on a daily basis than they had....but, we don't get the ocean coming in with them. Still, like you, she said it was a bit anti-climatic. Personally, I was grateful for all the preparation put into it. Better safe than sorry.

Betty and Betsy - Do you all have power now?

Dee and Sherry - with the storms moving inland, does that put you guys in the way or does it move that far west? When I think "east" I think anything east of us which is everything except for, well, everything west of us.

Wishing you all some peace.

Susannah/Stephanie's mom

[lolynbo]

WELL WERE HOME...DOING LAUNDRY AND RESTING ...GOD IM OLD....WORE OUT.......LETS GO AGAIN

A YOUNG MAN DIED ON THE SHIP FIRST NIGHT OUT...31 ISH....HEART ATTACK....WAS DEAD IN HIS CABIN....SO SAD...

I PROB ALREADY TOLD YAL THAT .

MISSED MY DOGGIES SO MUCH COULDNT STAND IT...

HOPE ALL IS WELL AND WE HAVE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NEW COMERS.....WENT TO CEMETERY LAST NIGHT AND REALITY IS STILL THE SAME....NO MIRACLE THAT MY BABY IS HERE WITH ME....SHES STILL GONE...HATE COMING HOME TO THAT

[ericasmom]

HOORAY, you are home safe and sound Lorri. So where did your cruise take you and how did you avert the hurricane? Details please. Sunburn? I know the reality of coming back and your fantasy not fullfilled is the sad part of going away, but your Girl rode those waves with you, she is happy that you went/

Peace Lor

[kmb22]

Edit

[lolynbo]

WELL WE WENT TO COZUMEL AND PROGRESSO INSTEAD OF BAHAMAS ...WE ALSO GOT TO GO TO KEY WEST.....RENTED ELECTRIC CAR THERE (GOLF CART TYPE) AND RODE AROUND HAD FRESH KEY LIME PIE...MONTY GOT HIS PIC TOOK WITH KERMIT THEM MAN HIMSELF..

COZUMEL WE RENTED A JEEP (AGAIN) AND WENT TO PUNTA SUR AND JUMPED THE WAVES AND LAYED OUT A BIT, HAD FRESH FAJITAS AND CORONAS...AT THE LIL SHACK ACROSS THE STREET...

PROGRESSO DID ME SOME SHOPPN SAT IN THE SUN AND GOT SUCKERED INTO BUYING TRINKETS FROM THE LIL NATIVE KIDS....BUT ITS ONLY MONEY...PROGRESSO ISNT REALLY NICE YET BUT I BET IN 5 YRS IT WILL BE...THE SIRF IS GREAT...THE WATER ISNT CLEAR LIKE COZUMEL BUT VERY NICE...

NEW ORLEANS WOW WHAT A TRIP...KODY WAS HELARIOUS LOOKN AT THE NEKD GIRLS...(MOST NOT WORTH LOOKN AT) MONTY SAID "SON AND THOSE ARE THE PERTY ONES"...LOL

I THINK I GAINED 5 PDS...MY NOSE IS PEELING BUT GOT ME SUM SUN AND SOME COLOR WE HAD A GREAT TIME...I TOOK 605 PICS THEY ARE ALL ON FB.....NOW I NEED A VACATION TO REST...

[Guest msnher]

Lorri - I'm so glad your trip wasn't a total waste due to Irene. So sorry about the young man who died on ship.

Karen - I keep forgetting to tell you, I bought four bushes (Buffalo Berry - supposedly I can't kill them) from a woman at the Farmer's Market because she reminded me of you! Same small frame, long dark hair, hat...etc. I think I'll even call her to come help me landscape next year. I loved her immediately. She held onto the bushes while I finished my shopping. She reminded me how to find her again when I was through with my shopping...I had mentioned I was worried I would forget. I laughed and told her I was sure I could find her again, I just wasn't sure I would remember to do it and go home without my bushes. These days I would go home and never remember that I had ever bought bushes in the first place. I would remember that I met a woman that reminded me of you, but not the bushes. That's my life.

[mysonrich]

Susannah, the power stayed on here so I have 3 buckets and 1 tub of rain water for flushing the toilet sitting on the deck. Want one? Good to hear that Amanda is safe . I have relatives in Vermont and they are dealing with major washouts of roads and bridges. I really didn't think they would know there was a storm.

This morning I left for work at my usual time, a bit early even,and my 20 minute drive took almost 3 hours! I thought I would take the back roads to detour any problems from the hurricane. When I was almost there the road blocks appeared. Every which way I went, detour,detour,detour. I didn't realize how much damage Irene caused. A major highway, Rt 1, was closed and I found myself stuck on 95( the exits were flooded) after I found my way back from the back roads. I called work to let them know about my delay and thinking they would say, “ go home”,well, they didn't. Ha ha It took others 5 hours. It was really crazy. Flooding, trees down,bridges down,poles leaning over the road and way too many people driving to work at the same time. After a thank you for making it from my employer I went home...another way! I drove north and then south. No problem.

Lorri, I was watching the news one night and the story was about how the cruise ships were diverted from their destinations due to the hurricane. Some even left people behind at port of call. It's good to hear that you weren't shopping when your ship sailed.

Karen, wish I had the mechanical ability for car repairs. I never tried, seems that I would need a lift and a couple thousand dollars worth of tools to get the job done. Good to hear that your Willow is going to make it. They are fragile.

Trudi, I'm sure you are busy with the grandies and worried for Melissa. Where will she be staying after her hospital stay?

Pam, Andy has great friends. Very supportive and I know they miss him. How was the dinner?

Dee, the shower sounds like fun, Is the date fast approaching?

My internal battery is winding down. Feel like I was running on a lot of adrenaline today.

So, good night,Sleep tight and may your dreams come true. I know our dreams won't but hey, my aunt watches Lawrence Welk I have been brainwashed. Yes, it's time for bed.

[lolynbo]

I NEED PRAYERS MY FRIENDS.....MY BROTHER IN LAW CALLED SAID MY SISTER LEFT NOTE SAYING "SORRY, LEAVE MY DOG TO MY (HER) BOYFRIEND...."......HE THINKS SHE MAY TAKE HER OWN LIFE, EITHER BY DRIVING OFF INTO THE TREES OR WITH THE GUN....(ITS MISSING)....SHES BEEN VERY DEPRESSED SINCE KOURTNEY DIED, NOT HAPPY WITH ANYTHING OR ANYONE......SADLY WORSE THEN NORMAL...OR EVEN MOST OF US....PLZ PRAY

[savanna93]

Colleen, Wanted to tell you thank you for responding to my post about my angel being killed. I am trying to remember all the great advice I am getting from others that are part of this terrible club. Did anyone try counseling and did it help? Thank you for your time. Diana

[mikesmum]

Drove the 2hrs to see Melissa after dropping the grandies off. She looks like my little girl sitting up in bed. There is a 'nail' down the length of her lower leg held into position with 4 large screws. Her leg is wrapped in padding and crepe bandage. I saw the x-rays, worse than I imagined.

Grandies home with Jeremy tonight. He's been in a bit of shock, emotional and missing the kids.

I am worn out. Have to admit, seeing Melissa and hugging her eased the heart ache.

Jeremy has been up visiting but didn't know what to bring her.. so a quick trip to the in hospital store she now has soap, toothpaste and brush, shampoo, powder and with luck physio will have her up for a shower this afternoon.

They are sending her home tomorrow. We talked about being able to put your hand up and accept help....something both of us have trouble with.

The weather here, well we are one day out from Spring and the weather is ossilating between brrrrr and sunny.

Will be hitting the sheets in about 30min. That will make my bed time around 6pm and I'm struggling to make that.

Thank you all for your kind thoughts for Melissa.....it really makes a difference even this far away......

[ericasmom]

Lorri, prayers galore, did not read last night, too tired, saw this this morning. Let us know. Oh dear Lord, let her be fine.

[shorty16]

Diana,

Many on this site have gone to counseling and continue to go. As for me, I did go to two different counselors and neither could ease the pain in my heart. I found more "counseling" on this site than I did anywhere else. However, please do not let me deter you. Try it, it cannot hurt any more than you are right now.

Please tell us about you baby girl, we want to know. This is a very long and difficult grief journey we are all on here. We know how you feel

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[shorty16]

Trudi - So glad that Melissa is OK and sorry her leg break is worse than you thought. At least she will have a story to tell when she gets older. I am thinking of you my friend as you adjust to the house in the hills.

Lori - First, glad you are home safe and sounds like you had a great time. Second, I will say a prayer for your sister and hope she is found safe and sound. Sometimes I forget that others suffer because of our child's death also. Take care my friend and feel the prayers from your Indigo family!!

Betsy - 5 hour commute?!?!?! OMG. I am so sorry that you had to endure that, but glad your boss thanked you for coming in. From the sound of it, the drive home was a bit easier.

Pam - Your Andy has some awesome friends. It is wonderful that you find joy in spending time with them. In my humble opinion, that is what keeps us going is finding joy in life again. I am happy for you - Keep up the good work.

Dee - What some weather we have been having - HEY!!!! OMG, I almost feel bad, because of Irene on the East coast, but the Midwest is having sunshine, light breeze, low 80 temps. I do feel the temp dropping at night. I must say, Autumn is my favorite season in Wisconsin. Scott and I just jump in the truck and drive West, North or SW and we see natures finest in Autumn colors.

As for us, AJ is still acting like a teenager. Doing not-so-smart things and making bad decisions. So Aarons summer is over now. He starts school on Thursday and he really needs this structure in his life.

Michelle starts her 4th year as a nursing student at UWM. This will be a hard year for her. Working, going to school, and her boyfriend thing.

Guess what my family did on Sunday??? We went to our first Polo match!?!?! It is like soccer on horses. HUGE field and the horses really move across this field. We made lunch (BLT), drank lemonade, sat in the shade, and spent time together. It was nice.

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[Brendan's Daddy]

Colleen, Wanted to tell you thank you for responding to my post about my angel being killed. I am trying to remember all the great advice I am getting from others that are part of this terrible club. Did anyone try counseling and did it help? Thank you for your time. Diana

Hello Diana. I am so sorry that you have to be a part of this club. I have been seeing a counselor for nearly four months now. I was seeing her two times a week, but I am now down to only once every other week. For me it really helped because it was my time to just let loose. I could tell her anything and I could cry the entire hour if I wanted to. As a father I am trying so hard to hold my family together and to be strong for them. I really don't have anybody to talk to and just let me cry. My time with my counselor allows me to have that time and just let it all out. It has definitely been helpful to me. I do agree with Colleen as well. This site has helped me tremendously. The compassion of my friends on this site is amazing. They have been through what we are going through. They feel the pain that we feel and they are here to help. This website is full of so many amazing and caring people. I am not sure where I would be today without many of the people here.

I am so glad that everybody is doing well after the crazy weather. As always I am thinking of all of you. It has been a very busy time for us at home. Our new home is being built, Jackson is starting 5K and Michele and I are expecting another child. My wife is almost 11 weeks pregnant. Please pray for a healthy child in March. We are so very excited to have another chance to be parents. I have a lot of anxiety, but I do believe God has a plan for us. Thursday is Brendan's birthday. He would have been 8 and starting is first day of second grade. I am dreading that day, but I know I need to be strong for my family.

Thinking and praying for you all.

Brendan's daddy - Tony

[lolynbo]

HER HUBBY CALLED SAID SHE STAGGERED IN ABOUT 545, SHE SAID SHE TOOK PILLS (PROB MY 24 LORTABS) AND DRANK BOTTLE OF VODKA...GUESS SHE WAS PREPARED TO DIE BUT GOD DIDNT TAKE HER YET....HE TOLD HER TODAY THEY WILL HAVE FAM INTERVENTON AND DECIDE WHAT AND WHERE TO TAKE HER....

1/2 OF PRAYER ANSWERED WAITING ON OTHER 1/2

THANKS GIRLS

[ericasmom]

DIana, welcome though I wish you need not be here. We join here and help each other through the hardest times of our lives, and we stay to continue the process and to lend a hand to those new. I have been here for 7 years having lost my Daughter Erica, 8 years ago. I went to therapy 6 months after ERi was killed and found this place at around the same time. It was when I felt very raw and sought out help. THis place is like no other, I definitely have found such wonderful friends here, those I have shared my whole heart with about the hole in my life without ERi. THe sort of thing that others just don't get. My therapist was SUPER too, and I stayed for 2 years and went back for tune-ups since then. I would look for a therapist who has deallt with loss of Children.

Tony, Wow! New Baby and I give my full hope and care to you and your wife and to Jackson. Prayers as you approach Bren's 8th birthday, what a tough day it may be, but also a beautiful day as that date brought you the most magnificent gift. Prayers.

Lorri, any news?

[ericasmom]

Oh Lorri, I did not see your post till I was done...so glad that she is okay, I prayed while walking this morn that she is found and can then get the help she needs.

[westleysmom]

Lorri-I'm glad you're back and sorry to hear that your sister is having such a hard time. I hope that she can get the help she needs soon. Post pics when you can of your trip.

Tony-I'm so happy for you and your family on your news of the coming baby. I know that Brendan's birthday will be hard for you and will be thinking of you. Jackson doing okay? Have you told him about the new baby yet? We didn't say much to my granddaughter until just lately because time is slippery for little ones and her Mommy knew she would want to get him right away. (And when he gets here, she may want to send him back!) But he's still not here. My daughter has a dr appointment today and if nothing happens before Saturday, they will induce her then. Hoping it happens before that.

Trudi-I'm glad that Melissa is doing okay, but sorry the break was so bad. Spring in Australia must be beautiful, but I'm ready for Fall in Tennessee. It's crazy, we're still so dry here and everybody along the east coast is flooding. It is supposed to be warming back up here all week and 95 by Friday. So fall isn't here yet.

Betsy-Last year when we had flooding here it was like that. You just couldn't get anywhere without a helicopter, unless you had a full tank of gas and time to wait. Glad you are okay.

Sunday afternoon, four kids were out riding and ran off the road. Hit a stump and the car caught on fire. The boy (18) and girl (17) in the front were both killed instantly. 2 more boys in the back are in the hospital. The boy was supposed to start at Austin Peay yesterday and the girl was a senior here in town. I don't know them, but my husband does some work for the boy's grandfather from time to time. It still breaks my heart everytime something like this happens. Please remember the families of Jackson Amos and Amy Stringer in your prayers.

Colleen-Forgot to say the the sunflowers were beautiful. Westley was a sr in high school the same year my daughter and son-in-law were seniors in college. That was the last year Back to School had anything much to do with me. I still can't believe that part of my life is over, had been for a couple of years even before last year. I still keep thinking I'm forgetting to do something, like I'm shirking a duty. Its hard to explain. Maybe when my granddaughter starts school in a couple years I'll feel more normal.

Have a good day all. We missed the due date for the baby (it was yesterday), but will let you all know when something happens.

[dwsmithrn]

hi indigos....

it has been a while since i have been here....reading, but not posting....we just inherited Nathan's Ford explorer Sport Trac Truck...it is bitter sweet...seeing it in the drive makes me want to run out to greet nate, or think he got home in the night and is in his room sleeping. neither of which is true, but the mind still thinks in the 'before'....it is still hard to believe it is true. 7 months, and my heart, mind, soul and body are still at war. i am in the process of getting some things done to the truck so my husband has a 'new' vehicle to drive. he is very excited to have this truck....he so loved nathan. he is an amazing step-dad. they had a special bond. Lee, Julie and kids were here for a long weekend and i am very tired. i do not have the stamina i used to have, so it really wore me out. yesterday i rested for the most part. today, i have a little bit to do, but am not in the mood....oh well, tomorrow is another day...right?

diana....i am so sorry for your loss....please keep coming back to this site....it is a good place to be...these are the most caring, loving people in the world and they can help you get through this journey....they have helped me more than i can say....i'm still here....my husband and i still go to counseling and i do believe it helps us....i don't want it to end for a while....i think we really depend on it for now...

tony...congrats on the new baby....hope all goes well....you still going to counseling, too? i find it really helps...

lor....great that you had a nice trip....so glad it was safe and you got home safely....but so good that you got away and had fun. sorry about your sister...hope she gets the help she needs. i'm so sorry.

trudi....hope melissa is doing better and will heal without problems...that is a tough break. will be thinking of her.

we were lucky with the storm....didn't get anything from it this time....my son lives in Myrtle beach, sc and they just got some rain and wind, but no damage. they lucked out this time...my husband's family lives in mass., and they got alot of rain and wind, and lost power for about 24 hours. i don't know who got the worst, but i feel for those who are suffering. it can be a very bad experience...i know....living on the mississippi gulf coast for years, i experienced many a storm....it's tough.

pam...i STILL want to get together....we need to revisit that and decide where and when....i would still love to meet you and have a sit down lunch with you sometime.....

seems i am having 'one of those days today....sadness has taken over once again.....but i guess i can expect that....i am learning how to live with grief. tomorrow may be a different day....hopw you all have a good day.......love, diane

[dwsmithrn]

rhonda....good luck on the baby....will be looking for the post....hope everything goes well....it is exciting to have a new baby in the family.

[daveydow1]

Lor----Sending prayers for your sis, and hoping that all of her family can get her

the help she needs. Bless her heart. I'm glad that your cruise went well even tho

you had a detour because of the hurricane. Yep---know the way you feel about being

away, and coming home to the sad reality that you dear baby is gone. Peace to you, friend.

Colleen-----Oh, Michelle will be one busy girl. It's good that she is in her 4th year of nursing

school. The higher education for nurses is the way to go nowadays.

Shelly---thanks for the compliment on my quilt. It took me about a year to make it. I could have

gotten it done, (probably) in less time, but took time off for moving, and just to get a rest from

it here & there. Your SARAH CELEBRATION must have been just lovely with the balloon launch

and the pin lights, and friends and family there. Sarah was smiling down, for sure.

Trudi-----Sorry to hear about Melissa's accident & broken leg. Prayers for her recuperation. It's

nice you had the great weekend with the grandies.......they sure can brighten up things, can't they?

Betsy-----I was glad to see on t.v. that the hurricane moved through your area and was not as severe

as was first thought to be. Did you have much damage in your area......or flooding?

Dee-----Teachers make lasting impressions on their students.......sometimes, possibly not until years

later, but impressions just the same. I can remember some of my teachers with fondness......from

high school, and even grade school (won't say how many years ago..... ). I do remember many of

them, actually......some with fondness and respect, and others.....just remember them. Have seen

in the obits where quite a lot of them have passed away.....including my h.s. art teacher who died of

Alzheimers disease a number of yrs. ago. She was a particular favorite. Also, remember a grade

school teacher at the one-room school who paddled the entire class for some infraction on the playground.

Ahhhh.......so long ago, but still fresh in my memory. (sorry for the walk down 'memory lane'). Anyhow,

I believe that you are an excellent teacher, and students are lucky to have you.

Sus-----I hand-embroidered the 50 state patches of the state flowers.......a part I LOVED doing. So many

colors etc. We are to have good weather for the next several days, so we didn't get any bad weather/rain

from the hurricane on the East coast. Sorry Jonathon is not feeling up to par......hope the little guy is feeling

better soon.

Pam-----So nice that Andy's friends stay in touch. It does help to know they still care. Sorry to say, that Davey's

friends have all drifted off, and I no longer see or hear from any of them.....but it has been 8 yrs. They were

out of touch with us after about the first year, except for his best pal, but I don't hear from him very often. Young

people are busy with their lives.....as it should be, and in this terrible economy, it is just so difficult to make a

living etc. or face job losses and personal upsets......I understand that. Thanks for the quilt compliment.

Karen----Your remark about sleeping in the truck with your ex when you were young......how that brings back

memories for me too. Once when we were first married, we lived in a house with no a/c, and I was pregnant

that summer.

It was so very hot that year, and we took blankets and slept outside under the apple tree, to beat the heat .

YIKES!!!! if I tried that now,......well.......I'd be in the chiropractor's office on a daily basis. Couldn't even think

of it nowadays. They are great memories, though........aren't they???

PEACE & TRANQUILITY TO ALL INDIGOS.

Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry