Members ericasmom Posted July 20, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 20, 2011 Sherry, love your little one on the cannon...good and sweet memories that help us move forward. Thanks for sharing. Our black eyes are opening too, though not the nice ones, those disappeared, more the weedy ones. But I tell ya, the dahlias are amazing. We planted an area of dinner plate dahlias, the color and the size are beautiful. Today I saw the hummingbird moth, stopping at the bee balm and the phlox. Our hibiscus, also dinner plate size, not blossomed yet adn usually it has by Eri-fest. More pretty flowers to come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dwsmithrn Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 hi fellow indigos...it has been some time since i have posted. still having computer issues and STILL having terrible heart issues. tomorrow is 6 MONTHS> i can't believe it is 6 months already. seems like yesterday. i feel so burdened with sadness. the tears have been forever this last week. we saw the counselor on thursday and i even called her today and talked a good 45". i am so sad even my husband has been worried. i feel a little better tonight after talking with the counselor. i am trying, i think. i feel like i am eating better, i AM getting out of bed now. i am doing a few things around the house. i am getting out of the house a little more. i can look back and see where i was and see where i am...i just can't look forward and see where i am going or who i will become. i don't know who i am right now. not the person i was, that's for sure. i love reading your posts. i love hearing about all the activities you are doing. i love those who can, do. i want to be that person some day. i can some day, i know i can. but 6 months, wow....oh, how i miss my son. the pain still rips my heart apart. my brain, body, soul and heart are all at war and i can't seem to get them to work together. how does one do that? we are going to va. beach tomorrow...leaving on the 6th month angelversary day. jim has a conference and i am going to get away?!!! maybe it will be good for me, i don't know. i hope so. i wish you all a great weekend and good thoughts and good dream of your angels. i try to picture nathan with your angels and they are all having a good time together. sometimes i can so see it. i know nate is where he needs to be...happy, healthy, unburdened. so , if i could just get my selfish heart to understand that, i think i could understand better. but, then i am human, and his mom, and i am selfish...i want him to be with me, just a little longer. at least i can tell the truth.take care all.....love, diane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dwsmithrn Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 brian'sdad...thanks for the 'send me an angel' ..it was a good day to hear that....diane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members summergirl Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Lost my post !!!!!!!!!!!Missing my Jessica, my daughter, my best friend...I love you .... always your mom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Jessica--- Your name rings like a bell to your Momma, your Dad, BJ, and your Tavian. Your birthday will always hold magic Jess... Happy Birthday Dear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Diane, the fact that you called the therapist to talk and that you felt better for doing so is a great sign. That you can look back and see where you were...another great sign. Not being able to see in front of you to see where you will be...absolutely understandable. For one thing. we don't know exactly where and who we will be when we settle down again in our lives...and secondly, we are not supposed to be the same as we once were, who you will become is a slow evolution. You will be the charming and funny lady you have been but with nuances not there before, that is certainly normal. You will have changed as well, how could you not? Six months is a big mark of time Diane, so treat yourself well and know that Nathan must be proud of all you and his Dad have been able to learn on this path. It is not selfishness Diane, that makes you wish him here, it is human nature. Get some rest and dream sweetly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmomrs Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Hey all: just wanted to post about a BI member...we haven't heard from her in a while, but her BI name is WyomingSal...she lost her precious Joshua (I believe he was 9 or 10) and came to BI for comfort and understanding. She and her family are now in need of much prayer and good thoughts. Her husband, Jeff, has not been seen since Monday. His car was found near the area where Joshua drowned, and they need all the prayers we can form in our minds and hearts. Dear Lord, send comfort to this family, send strength to their father, husband, son also, and hold them all close to You as they sit in anguish over this latest heartbreak to their family. Sally: Please know that we are there with you, and we send much love and prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmomrs Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Jessica...Jessica...Jessica...beautiful, beautiful girl...angel that you are now, please surround your family with your sweet spirit as you and all of our angels celebrate your birthday. On this day, so many years ago, your family was given a gift of joy...YOU, and they still hold that gift close in their hearts and their memories. Kathy, Barry, BJ, and Tavian...sending you love and comfort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmomrs Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Diane: {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} "i want to be that person some day. i can some day, i know i can." Yes, you can, some day, but at this early stage, the pain is overwhelming and can limit your view...we are with you, holding you, sending strength, comfort...love to all of you. I hope that you and your husband have a good time away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wyomingsal Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Hey all, its been so long since I have been posting. Had been busy with living. Today dreadful is 4 years to the day my son Joshua died. My husband has been missing since Monday...his truck parked where my son passed away. This evening the dreadful news brought by the coroner. My heart fearful as soon as I saw him walk up with the investigator. They found my dear husband's body. I am still in shock. I had to tell my beautiful three living children 8-13 and watch as they broke down and sobbed. I had to call his mom in another state and hear her weeping knowing full well how horrible it is to lose a son. I know we will get through this...but oh how I hate this. The butterflies and nausea. The inability to sleep. The horror of missing someone you love. Pray for my children and Jeff's mom, dad and family. Pray for me as I don't think I am feeling the full brunt even of the reality of this. The strange thing is that 4 years ago today I had subway for lunch with my son before he died. today I had subway for lunch not even thinking about the coincidence. And than around the same time that they came to tell me about Joshua they came with news of Jeff. I believe he is with Joshua right now...and my Lord Jesus...but oh...I am also so mad at him because he didn't have to do this. Didn't have to hurt those of us he left behind. Suicide is a horrible thing and yet I hope he has found the peace he so wanted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nicksdad Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mysonrich Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Sally, I am so very sorry to hear of Jeff's death. I know there were many.many people praying for his safe return and now, the same people, in real life and online will continue to pray for you and the children, Jeff's mother and all the people that surround you. Sally, we are here. Though you are all the way across the country please know I am beside you and if I could offer help in person, I would be at you door now. Sally, may God be with you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nicksdad Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Sally...I am so sorry to hear about Jeff. We will keep you all in our prayers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wyomingsal Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Thank you Betsy and Nicks Dad. Funny how you find people up at all times of the night on this board. No way to sleep tonight. Everytime I think I must have slept a little only a few minutes have passed since I last looked at the clock. Thank goodness the kids seem to be sleeping still. I hate for them to wake up and realize this isn't just a bad dream. Today begins the stream of well wisher and sweet people wanting to share condolences. When Joshua passed I sat in the living room and hugged everyone who came. I tried to help them feel better. I am not so sure I'm ready for everyone today. My sister will come out from California. thank goodness. But she wont get here for a few days. I just want to hide from this for awhile and pretend nothing is wrong. Pretend jeff is just visiting his mom or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest msnher Posted July 21, 2011 Guests Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Sally, I just read your horrible news on facebook. I am so sorry! Susannah/Stephanie's mom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dwsmithrn Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 sally, i am so, so sorry to hear of your loss. it is so hard to face and i will keep you and your family close to my heart. a special thought that joshua is near by and holding you close.your losses are so great and i am sure your burden is hard to bear. i will be thinking of you this weekend and holding you close. i am so sorry for your loss. diane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 SallyI am sorry for the loss of your husband. My sympathies go to you, your kids and his mother. The pain he must have felt to do this. I have no words - as you know. Please - conder yourself hugged.Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dwsmithrn Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 happy birthday jessica....i am so sure you let your mom know of your presence on your special day......she misses you, angel. let all of the angels know we miss them..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 JessicaJessicaJessicaJessicaJessicaJessicaJessicaWe are saying here name loud and clear. Happy heavenly birthday Jessica. Give you family butterfly-kisses today.Colleen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dwsmithrn Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 thank you, carol and dee, for having faith that i will survive this....as hard of a journey as this is....the counselor always tells us that this is 'hard work' and i do believe it is. surviving suicide is hard work, surviving suicide of your child is really hard work. too many unanswered questions, so much guilt, so much pain, and no where to put it. wow, 6 months today.i so want to see my baby boy. i ask too much. i get nothing in return. i have been told there is a 'gift' in the end....what gift can possibly come out of 'this'? there is no way there is a gift out of losing my child. have any of you found a gift on this journey of grief? just wondering.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rlolheiser Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 was gone yesterday so I didn't get to post at all.Sally.. my heart goes out to you and your family, may God give you strength to get through the coming days. In the sadness may you feel Joshua and Jeff hold you close. You must be going through so very much, please take care of you and come talk to us when in need, somebody is always here, and we care so very much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rlolheiser Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Happy Birthday Jessica.. JESSICA.. JESSICA.. JESSICAthinking of your mom, dad and Tavian, may they feel your closeness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Brendan's Daddy Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 SallyMy heart breaks for you and your family. All I can do is pray for all of you. Your entire family is in my thoughts and prayers. Brendan's daddy-Tony Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members westleysmom Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Happy Heavenly Birthday Jessica! Kathy-Hoping that you feel the presence of your sweet Jessica today and every day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members westleysmom Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Sally-I am so sorry for the pain and heartbreak that you are going through, and that of your family. You all are in my thoughts and prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest msnher Posted July 21, 2011 Guests Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Happy Belly Button Day, Jessica! Please send your mother, father and Tavian a special sign of your love today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 4everjoeysmom Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Oh Sally................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lolynbo Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 KATHEY WARM HUGGS AND SOFT KISSES FOR YAL TODAY ON JESSICAS HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY....HUGGS TO LIL (BIG) TAVIAN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lolynbo Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 WELL IM ALIVE...TOM WE RIDE TO DALLAS TO MERCEDES PLACE TO GET MY DOOR LOCKS FIXED AND TO CELEBRATE KODYS 19TH BIRTHDAY....HOW CAN HE BE 19 TOM?????? HES STILL MY BB OF 15 HES STILL KOURTNEYS LIL BB BROTHER OF 15...IM OFF THE LORTABS WOW THAT WAS RUFF, HOT COLD SWEATS (STILL DOING IT NOT AS BAD)....TOOK MORE THEN I WANTED BUT THE PAIN WAS SO GREAT..HOPE ALL HAVE BLESSED DAY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest msnher Posted July 21, 2011 Guests Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 http://youtu.be/wJZ3bcPr-Ds This is us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 We sing that in third grade Sus, I cry every time, it is us, it is what we realize out of the deep pain, we need to lean on those that can help us carry our load, our burden. And we are ready to do the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 oops, that photo was supposed to show up turned, it is in the front garden, the elephant ears and the verbascum, so pretty together with red bee balm. Let's try another...one is the garden, the other is my favorite garden decoration, and the third is my son and two nephews at ERI-fest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 oops, that photo was supposed to show up turned, it is in the front garden, the elephant ears and the verbascum, so pretty together with red bee balm. Let's try another...one is the garden, the other is my favorite garden decoration, and the third is my son and two nephews at ERI-fest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 It is officially 100 degrees right now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Dee-----Absolutely fabulous flowers. What a nice garden. Your dinner plate Dahlias sound lovely. Thanks forthe nice pics of the garden & your son and nephews at ERI Fest. Also, thanks for your words about Davey'spic on the cannon. The other one was taken on one of the trips you can take to go down under Niagara Falls....they made everyone wear those big black rubber boots and raincoats, so that's why he looks so covered up.The spray from the falls would soak anyone without the rubber gear on. I have not seen a hummingbird mothyet this year. The larkspurs didn't do very well, so that was where I would see them. HOT there in ChicagoI see on the news......97 degrees here today, and not too much relief in sight for the next few days. I sure willbe glad when this heat dome lifts......I think everyone will be relieved when it goes past.HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY, ...........SWEET JESSICA.Sally-----I'm so very very sorry for your loss of your dear husband, Jeff. There is just no words. Please comeback to BI when you can. Sending thoughts & prayers to you in this time of your great sorrow. Peace to you, friend. Not much to say today,....but am thinking of everyone here at BI and wishing peace & comfort to all. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Dee----Oops.....we posted at the same time. The pics of your flowers arejust beautiful. Good medicine for the heart & soul to just sit near a gardenand gaze at all the wonders of Mother Nature. Love all the colors. Oh, yikes....100 degrees.....too too hot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mysonrich Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 May your mom,dad and little boy feel your lovely presence in Jessica’s garden.Dee, a beautiful garden and absolutely the cutest Tink flying about. Nice yellow house paint too.Sherry, I like the raincoat and boots picture. Oversize on little Davey. Reminds me of the Morton Salt girl. (back when Tv first came out)100 dergrees here at 7PM. realFeel , 107. a poll online at the local paper site; ' would you rather have a blizzard, like last winter,or the heat?"I'm thinking I went outside more in the snow. ii didn't vote. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mikesmum Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Hey all, its been so long since I have been posting. Had been busy with living. Today dreadful is 4 years to the day my son Joshua died. My husband has been missing since Monday...his truck parked where my son passed away. This evening the dreadful news brought by the coroner. My heart fearful as soon as I saw him walk up with the investigator. They found my dear husband's body. I am still in shock. I had to tell my beautiful three living children 8-13 and watch as they broke down and sobbed. I had to call his mom in another state and hear her weeping knowing full well how horrible it is to lose a son. I know we will get through this...but oh how I hate this. The butterflies and nausea. The inability to sleep. The horror of missing someone you love. Pray for my children and Jeff's mom, dad and family. Pray for me as I don't think I am feeling the full brunt even of the reality of this. The strange thing is that 4 years ago today I had subway for lunch with my son before he died. today I had subway for lunch not even thinking about the coincidence. And than around the same time that they came to tell me about Joshua they came with news of Jeff. I believe he is with Joshua right now...and my Lord Jesus...but oh...I am also so mad at him because he didn't have to do this. Didn't have to hurt those of us he left behind. Suicide is a horrible thing and yet I hope he has found the peace he so wanted.Sally - I logged on today as I do each day to read the posts when I saw Joshua's pic and your post. My heart goes out to you and your children, so much heartbreak, another journey of why's whatifs.Yes suicide is a horrible thing. I have had people tell me its a 'permanent solution to a temporary problem'. Losing your child though is a permanent situation and perhaps one your husband just could not see past. When my son took his life, I found it so hard to make sense of his choice. He had, in my view much to live for. In his heart I guess he didn't see it that way. I send you much love and prayers for you, your children, Joshua and his dad. Have to believe your husband now has peace holding the hand of the boy he lost 4yrs ago...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aim630 Posted July 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 21, 2011 Sally-I am so sorry to hear about your husband Jeff. My heart goes out to you and your children.Amy/Ashley's mom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted July 22, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 I think that I have written two posts to you Sally, but I don't see any of them now, I was so unglued when I read your extremely sad news, heartbreaking news. I wrote earlier today as soon as I saw Carol's post and then again later and honestly, all I can think is that I have been so sad for you and the kids that I did not hit 'add reply'. There are no words to give that could help and all I can offer are my deep and repeating prayers for You and for your Children. The scope of this loss is beyond my reasoning, I will keep you in my prayers as you find ways to once again grieve and find a way to live. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members briansdad Posted July 22, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 As I always do here is Jessies song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shellyku Posted July 22, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 Dear Sally - My name is Shelly and I don't believe we've met, but I wanted to extend mycondolences to you and your children for the loss of , first of all your son, and now theloss of your husband. I will keep you and yours in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members briansdad Posted July 22, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 Here is Brian's baby.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORktEVUj9o4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members summergirl Posted July 22, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 Thank you so very much for your wonderful words to my sweet Jessica.....And as always thank you Greg for the song, never change it....Your Brian's daughter is absolutely wonderful, loved the video....playing the piano and singing....an amazing girl and without even seeing you I know there is a huge sparkle in your eye !Jessica's friends took me out tonite for a few hours, we had a wonderful time remembering, cried some tears, laughed - it meant so much to me that they are still here, walking beside me...... I am sorry for such a short post but I need to go have my meltdown before I explode...love to all, always and forever, Kathy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted July 22, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 Greg, Alyssa plays the piano and sings? Holy cow, she is a talented young lady and holds herself so well on stage. She has presence. I think her Dad is grinning ear to ear, and I know her Grandpop is. What a dear.Kathy, get some good sleep and take that warmth of Jess' friends celebrating the life of your sweet Daughter with you.Thanks Sherry, and Betsy, I love the garden and will be happy when I can sit and be in it for more than a few minutes time in this heat. Yes my little Tink flying about the happy yellow house.Goodnight All, deep and renewing sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rlolheiser Posted July 22, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 So often I forget about the other souls that miss JaBoa. We went home (my hometown where JaBoa lived) and on the way her sister started getting so agitated. The trafic on the road (the road of her accident) is a tremendous amount. I would never have believed this is small town ND. the oil boom has played havoc on our existence.. but back to my story. JaBoa's sister.. cried that we would be in an accident, I wasn't even driving fast, but she said I am going to die. This is a difficult drive for me anyway and all I could think of was her premonition?... then she asked me where was the accident grandma, was it here? we were about five miles from it... I told her no, not yet... Grandma.. what would happen if we went off the road?... she is still upset.. and I told her, if we did, I don't know what would happen... Will I die grandma?... I was at a loss of what to tell this little one of 9 years... Was she reliving her accident of five years ago?... a few more screams of we are going to be in an accident... and then she was silent. I held on to my steering wheel and talked to God.. talked to her and when we came to the spot of the rollover.. I pulled over and said.. here baby.. here it is.. this is where we lost your sister. she looked around and never said another sound.. I asked her.. do you understand? and she said yes, and not another word about it all the way home, nothing more about the accident, no more screams of being in a wreck. I was at a loss.. I didn't know if I did right, but I figured she needed to find her closure.. her healing. I hope she finds peace in her heart.On the way back home, my son popped up with his own words that again put me speechless. About the same area of the road, he said.. I wish it were the end of the world... I said no you don't.. ye said yes I do.. so I said why? He just stated so I could play with Jaboa again.. and I said, yes that would be nice, but that will all happen in time, meanwhile you have to live the best you can because that is what she wants... then silence and no more comentsMom seems to forget more and more about it all, she doesn't even talk about JaBoa, she turns a deaf ear. I think the memories for her are fading. Kinda sad, she lives more in the past again, the farther past. She coments less about the grands or great grands, i guess it what I have to get used to. She is doing ok right now and I guess I am happy for that.I am ok too I guess.. even with all the emotion of the drive, I still didn't shed one tear.. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. I know I still miss my girl with all my heart and sould, I love her with my all.Great pictures again, sure wish I could see the video and music.. I guess in time.. I just have to be patient, it is all I can do is wait.. deep down, it is all I could ever do..hugs to all... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guests Guest msnher Posted July 22, 2011 Guests Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 Good morning, Indigo's;Leah - It is good that your granddaughter and son are expressing their fears and desires about death and JaBoa. Children, like us, process in pieces. You handled it beautifully. Sometimes I miss the signs that my little ones (Stephanie's children) need to do some grief work. Often that means just talking about their mommy. Sometimes we color. Sometimes we release balloons (a favorite of the children.) Sometimes they don't want to discuss their sorrow with me and we make a trip to their counselor. It is heartbreaking to watch little ones in such sorrow, but thank God they have us to help light the way.Sally - We live within five minutes of each other and have never met. In a "city" as small as Casper it is reasonable to assume our paths have crossed now and then. Perhaps in the store or on the street (hopefully I didn't cut you off in traffic). Two years ago we were having problems with cable and our wireless connection. Three different repairmen came at three different times. Perhaps one of them was your husband. We will never know. What I do know is yesterday, as I went about my business, I looked at everyone I came into contact with differently. I carried your family with me in my heart and mind throughout the day. I tried to treat others (strangers) with the tenderness I would treat you during this sad time. I am sure you are surrounded by friends who love and care for you, but please know if there is anything I can do, I will do my best to do it. Susannah/Stephanie's mom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wyomingsal Posted July 22, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 Thank you all for being so supportive. I was actually able to get some sleep last night thank goodness. All of your support means a lot to me right now. Still in shock. Planning on meeting with the mortuary today to talk about arrangements. Trying to help my kids cope the best I can. Each is reacting differently as is common with grieving. Micah is just 13 and is trying to be brave. He doesn't like to cry. He is such a great kid and is feeling anxious and like he needs to hurt something alternating with joking and being silly. Jacob (11) went up to his friends yesterday and was supposed to spend the night but came home not ready to sleep away. Lynn (8) spent the night at her friends house and is playing with all her focus on friends right now. I think when she is home and quiet it will hit again but I am hoping her age will help cusion some of the blow...not into abstract thinking yet. But she has always been Daddy's girl. The boys have always thought she is his favorite. She had her Daddy wrapped around her finger. I want to make all the pain go away for them...don't want them to have to feel sad and hurt and confused. But I know that no one can say magic words to take the pain away. I have to shut up and not try to console them all the time. Not tell them its ok when it isn't ok. When Micah said he was frustrated because he kept thinking about Dad couldn't stop his emotions I told him that its going to be really hard for awhile. To remember how hard it was with Joshua. Over time it did get easier. we are always going to miss Dad but just like we learned to smile again and enjoy life after Joshua died in time it will get easier. Lets just be kind to ourselves right now and have grace for each other. Anyways. I tend to ramble when I am mourning so bear with me. Thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers. It means alot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted July 22, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 Sally, I am glad that you slept, that the kids have gotten some sleep. I like the way you noted that we will have a hard road but that we know from Joshua's death that we will eventually find our lives again. Prayers your way.Leah, I am glad that you had a nice talk with the kids about living your best life now and seeing JaBoa when it is time. You also thorough stopping at the spot honored her fear and allowed her to see that drivign there does not mean dying there. I think you did well, very well. Hugs.Sus, cool that you live near Sally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members westleysmom Posted July 22, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 22, 2011 Greg-Alyssa is "Beautiful, Beautiful" I know her Daddy is smiling that big happy smile on her and you.Leah-I'm so sorry that the kids are having such a hard time. You're right though. Deep down, all we can ever do is wait. I guess that includes trying to make the wait bearable, but sometimes even that is more than we can do. HugsSally-I'm glad you were able to get some rest. I haven't any advice for how to help them deal with this added grief. Just know that you all are in my thoughts and prayers. Kathy-Hope you are feeling better after the inevitable meltdown. So happy that Jessica's friends helped you and shared their memories with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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