Members peggy a sad mom Posted October 26, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 26, 2018 i watch so much tv but i try to dvr everything so i don't have to watch commercials my brain can mostly stay tuned to tv but as soon as a commercial i just think of my son. i go to my room like around 6-7 everyday and just watch tv till i fall asleep.then up at 4am for work. guess i'm going to shower now and get to the tv thanks peggy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missing my little man Posted October 27, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 27, 2018 Thanks Niquesmom, i might have to start doing that. I usually stay in the break room. Going to my car to cry on my break might help a little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MargeeTx Posted October 27, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 27, 2018 Hey everyone: Mikey tells me that we are so totally different in the types of movies /TV, and it confuses him because we are on the same wavelength on most everything else. Today was interesting....I did laundry, cleaned the kitchen and living room, and for the first time in months that I Did not NAP! this is a HUGE (Trump would say) day for me. I know I will have to continue to make small activities ( or baby steps, occasionally described as). Thinking of all of you. BTY............ROLL TIDE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 27, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 27, 2018 Margee, so glad that you had a productive day and feel the goodness that comes with that. This is a terribly sad week in the United States with the hate that is being shown through violence...may we see this country find some common ground and peace, fairness, empathy, and hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted October 27, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 27, 2018 Margee------The dreams come when we will least expect them. I have not had any dreams of David or Lisa in quite some time. The dreams will come when they come, and when they do,......they will be our treasures to hold onto. I hope you have a little dream of dear Jason to warm your heart. Virginia-----I am not one to cry at movies....usually, but sometimes shed a tear or two for a movie. You mentioned the "Mama Mia" movie, and the girl singing, and it brought tears to your eyes. When my mom was in a coma at hospice, I sat at her bedside, and sang a few hymns softly to her.....although a bit creaky because I, too, was choking back the tears. She sang when she was young with her older sister, and always loved the church hymns. We had a rather bumpy relationship at times during my life, but in the end......I felt the tears rolling. She died a couple days later. WISHING PEACE TO ALL INDIGOS,.......AND SWEET DREAMS OF YOUR DARLINGS. Davey&Lisasmom, sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted October 27, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 27, 2018 Dee-----I, too, pray for peace and more unison in our country. The hatred that is spilling out all over is unbelievable and sad. Hard to believe that it has become what it is at the present time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 28, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 28, 2018 Sherry, I know...how is this America? We must make this different than it is right now. We must make this world safer for our grandchildren, they need to grow in peace and in unity. And my biggest prayer is that we find ways to do just that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Somersky Posted October 28, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 28, 2018 It’s been some time since I’ve been in here. I feel I want to own my truth.... every weekend I would go into skylars room get deeply depressed and drink! It was not healthy to I went into treatment. I discovered quite a bit about what I can do when those feelings come up...it was the best investment in myself and my family I could have ever done. It did feel a bit like jail lol as there were no phones and saw Dave only twice in three weeks and it was very very intense! I knew if I didn’t I would be going down a dark road that I may not get back from as it kept getting darker and longer. I just wanted to share and let you all know I am here for you all...and all of our heavenly children are rooting for us and are proud of us for sharing their legacy and their stories. xo Kristen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missing my little man Posted October 29, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 29, 2018 So, I have a question for you all. I have a friend he is a rebellious person, he has been my friend for many years. He has helped me throughout my grieving process, but he has a streak of running in with the law at least twice a year, jail time once a year. Anytime he gets in jail he would call me, and ask me to bail him out. My question is what should i do? I mean he's been there for me through this painful and upsetting ordeals. Last night he ask me to bail him out of jail again. I told him no, he made me feel bad for saying that. He said if it was me he wouldn't hesitate bail me out. Problem is he has come to relay on me too much I'm only a friend. I have my own life to live. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 29, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 29, 2018 Kristen, I am so proud of you for coming here to tell what has been going on in our world...and so proud of you that you recognized that you needed help to find your steps...so proud. How are you doing now? Are you feeling that you can carry on and stay clear of those pitfalls? I think that your Sweet Skylar must be grinning that beautiful smile of his on you, hoping that you know to reach out for help whenever you need. Dear Missing, how sad that your friend has this issue of ending up in jail so regularly, and while I get that he has been there for you, it becomes tiresome to keep bailing someone out. Helping you through your sadness is not the same as helping someone repeatedly with breaking the law. It is nice of you to be doing what you have done, but how long can you lay down the money to help someone who seems unable to learn from thier mistakes. I feel for the guy, don't get me wrong, but sometimes we have to make tough choices like you did yesterday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members My girl is in heaven Posted October 29, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 29, 2018 Missing my little man..while that is kind of you to bail your friend out, I agree with you that you have your own life and burdens to bear. I have found that in doing volunteer work, that sometimes you just have to step away and know you have done your best. You can’t save everyone, and you have to reserve enough strength for yourself. Hopefully he can understand that you need to back away now and will appreciate all you have done for him. Did you ever get that job transfer, us work GLNG better for you now. Lou....Kira’s mama Kristen..my dear friend...I am so sorry you had to go thru such an awful experience..but glad you got the help you needed and found the strength to get thru it. For me it was prescription medications, the odd time alcohol...all crutches for us to lean on...anything to take the pain away for awhile. Am so proud of you for facing this and Skylar is too....so proud of his mama, fighting her way thru to some hope and happiness again. We indeed are all on this path together. Stay strong. Lou....Kira’s mama Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Somersky Posted October 29, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 29, 2018 Thank you for the encouragement... Dave is with me 500% which helps a lot. I just got home Friday so have taken a few more weeks off before going back part time to teaching. I may have gone back to work too quickly and avoided dealing with the grief and ptsd of what occurred in skylars passing. I won’t lie... I think it will be hard for a while but I do believe if I can ge through life so far I can continue with this path in a clear state. I know Skylar would want that from his mom and I know he is proud! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missing my little man Posted October 29, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 29, 2018 Somersky, when my son pass i took almost 4 months off from work. I know i wouldn't be able to handle the work with the holiday season so i took those months off. I was glad that I did that. On3 of my coworker told me that she went right back to work after her dad passed away. You know you so, you do what is right for you. I try to think happy thoughts with the holiday coming back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missing my little man Posted October 29, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 29, 2018 Thank you my girl, and Erica mom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Somersky Posted October 29, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 29, 2018 Onedayonemother....your daughter is beautiful. my mother is my example of strength and courage. I lost a brother in a car accident at the age of 20 and I have tried to look to her and see what got her through. My mother’s faith as a Jehovah’s Witness and her congregation made a huge difference....she knows she will see her son and her grandson Skylar again. I know that fact as well. I am attempting to make a habbit of reading a scripture a day... one thing at a time but I will get there. I am glad you have come on to this forum to share her legacy xo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rlolheiser Posted October 30, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 Happy Heavenly Birthday JaBoa Lea.... I miss you heart and soul.. the world would have been a better place with you in it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Somersky Posted October 30, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 30, 2018 Happy heavenly Birthday JaBoa xo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted October 31, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 31, 2018 JaBOA-Beautiful Girl, you left far too early, but the joy you gave while you were here is still held in the hearts of those who know you best...You live on in all of them, helping them count thier joys, helping them find their magic, staying near them to to let them know that you live just beyond the veil. God bless you Sweet Child! Leah, how dear a woman you are to carry JaBoa's light into the days and nights for all of your Family, to keep her near as you have. She adores you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missing my little man Posted October 31, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 31, 2018 Happy birthday Joba! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missing my little man Posted October 31, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 31, 2018 Happy birthday JaBoa! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rlolheiser Posted October 31, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 31, 2018 Thank you for thinking of my sweet JaBoa, Somersky, Dee and Missing my little man... All of our angels are such precious gifts all taken back way to soon... I once told you of my son and Sena when they were 4 and 5 telling me that they can see the angels on the moon.. that they saw her... and at night when the sky is clear and I see the moon.. I close my eyes and try to be there... I hope the days and nights are kind to all of you. I appreciate so much your sharing on this site, I know it has been quiet, but I still read all the time. always thinking of your angels and you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NiquesMom Posted October 31, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 31, 2018 Happy birthday JaBoa!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missing my little man Posted October 31, 2018 Members Report Share Posted October 31, 2018 First holiday season without you in my life. I miss you terribly funny how memory of that day never goes away. The last few week i remembered that day more sharply than ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rlolheiser Posted November 1, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 1, 2018 Niques mom, thank you for thinking of JaBoa. Missing my little man.. the firsts are hard.. I remember so much, and how angry I was not having JaBoa enjoying all the things my other grandkids were. I used to cry with no warning (and still do from time to time) but instead of apologizing I told people that if they didn't like it, I would leave or they could leave. Sometimes you just have to take that sorrow out and face it. It is what I still do... they never gave parents or grandparents a handbook on how to grieve. Nobody does it the same way. I hunger for the memories that I have of my girl, as I have lost so many of them. Even the first pain I remember and I hold on to it, cause it was my last day that I held her and kissed her little face. I guess what I am saying.. is your right.. that day never leaves us.. Such a roller coaster of emotions.. I hope you find some peace with your angel through the holidays.. thinking of you.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NiquesMom Posted November 1, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 1, 2018 So I made it through the first Halloween. Kyle had fun last night. I tried not to think too much of last year. My daughter was so sweet, she had bought lots of candy (even though we lived in an apartment and I told her we wouldn't get trick or treaters), so when we got home with kyle they did a candy swap. She had dressed up as a cat. I miss her smile, her goofy laugh (we say she sounded like a hyena). I am so sad reading the news of these small kids killed while getting on the school bus. 3 accidents in 3 days. Indiana, Mississippi, and now Florida. Poor parents and families. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rlolheiser Posted November 1, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 1, 2018 NiquesMom, really happy to hear that Kyle had fun, through the years I always reminded myself that Halloween was for kids.. it was really hard for me to like Halloween again, For the first few years I had my son go with other people (I am an older than average mother he is now 15 and I am 63) It took me awhile to figure out the best thing I could do was celebrate Halloween with kids.. last night I had 2 of my great grand children, it was such a beautiful night and they were so happy to be with their grammy.. the 3 year old was so fascinated with the sky.. I get the idea JaBoa was with us... my little one kept looking up saying.. ohhhh so pretty... and few minutes later... beautiful... My heart says the angels were out last night Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NiquesMom Posted November 2, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 2, 2018 Sitting here, listening to the rain, cannot sleep. Nique loved the rain as much as I do, no one else will sit here and listen to it with me. God, I miss her. I hate planning things to do. I hate that I can't hug her, talk to her, I took her for granted. I worried about her, what would happen to her if I died, tried to prepare her for life without me. I was not prepared for a life without her. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted November 3, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 3, 2018 We are never prepared Virginia to live our lives without our Kids, how could we be...but three cheers for you to make the first Halloween special for your Kyle. Good Momma. And Nique is smiling on you, and by the way, she is listening to the rain with you too...still loving those quietly beautiful sounds. Leah, I can imagine your Halloweens have been very tempered with sadness but I am ever so glad that all of those little ones have you. You are the spirit in your family, and JaBoa knew it and so do the others, she guides them with her love, into the space where there is enough love to go around, and that is with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MargeeTx Posted November 4, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 4, 2018 Virginia: I love the. Rainey days.... the more grey, the better. Few people think like I do. I guess I appreciate the rain because everything looks so clean and sparkly after. (Sounds like a I am doing terrible with my "self IMprovement plan". Not journaling much. Rarely shower, never 'fix' up, still prefer totally alone. Heck, I writing/reading this while ALABAMA is playing LSU . I graduated from ALABAMA in 1972....back in the Bear Bryant days. I used to always have watch parties here for every game. Just don't have the energy or motivation to do much of anything. Will I ever get through this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NiquesMom Posted November 5, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 5, 2018 OK, so I know people keep moving forward. I am moving forward But I am sad. My daughters best friend, that she was supposed to move in with, he considered my daughter his girlfriend....has a new girlfriend. He told me about it, asked what I thought, of course I told him it is good for him to want to date. Still hurts, though. Just tired, I guess. Margee, we wont get through this, we just have to learn to live with this new life, that sucks so bad, and maybe some days we can be happy and other days we just want to scream at everyone. I guess i am in a mood today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Somersky Posted November 5, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 5, 2018 Margee I am with you with the weather. Skylar died on Monday and the sky was so blue not a cloud in the sky (talk about blue Monday) blue was his favourite colour too. I like it when it is overcast and rainy too... it brings comfort for some odd reason. When I look at the extended forecast and I see rain I am not upset. We have decided we will likely sell in the spring and move closer to my mother. I am not sure I will continue with teaching.... I think I am burnt out and since skylars passing haven’t been the most reliable since it is unpredictable how I will feel and those days I cannot teach. Those days just grab you ... and I have learned not to fight them ... but they are are part of healing. Do what you feel is necessary for the day and what you can. Xoxoxo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted November 5, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 5, 2018 Margee and Somersky---------I agree with you. I, too, like rainy days. It seems to quiet everything down, allowing for deep thoughts. Somersky, your Skylar died on a blue sunny day the same as it was the Saturday my David died. Somehow, I think of him a lot when it is raining......I think of all our angels. Leah------Yes, I too, have found it a bit difficult to like Halloween. I'm glad that you were able to enjoy Halloween with all the kids. We know how much children love the dressing up, trick-or-treating etc. They were happy that you joined in, and Jaboa was right up there smiling down on all your fun & festivities. Virginia-----So glad that Kyle enjoyed Halloween. I do understand, though, the bittersweet feelings, and missing your Nique so much. Difficult times ahead with the holidays approaching, but we will all get through it. Maybe with tears in our eyes, but we will get through it. Peace to ALL INDIGOS. Davey&Lisasmom, sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missing my little man Posted November 8, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 8, 2018 Today is bad been crying on and off all day. My head hurts from all the crying I've been doing lately. Soo sad all the time sometimes i think when will i die so the pain can stop. Been doing some apartment searching, and it's not going well either. My stress level are off the chart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NiquesMom Posted November 9, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2018 Missing: I am so sorry, I cried all the way to work this morning, let my coworkers know I was in a pissy mood, and I would put on my fake smile and try to be OK. But we are not OK. We are far from OK. The holidays are coming and I cannot really get excited, I have a few moments here and there where I look forward to them, and then I just want it all to be past and over with. Hugs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MargeeTx Posted November 9, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 9, 2018 Here it is almost 2 in the afternoon and I am in my cocoon, ad I am dang nothing productive. In fact, other than the one day that I did do a few things, I have done noting else. Still able to read a lot. Once I got it all uploaded to the Ipad , I love it. IN fact, I have an new never used Kiindle a friend gave me several years ago, and I never use it. I need to find it and send it to Meredith. I am sure it is way out of date but maybe could use it. i am finding that I am having moments of confusion.it's like I have to shake my head and get the wires untangled. Really strange Mike and Meredith have had noticed it also.. it feels like I have screws loose, and shaking my head tightens them up. I need to rearrange my 3 heating pads and rest. I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missing my little man Posted November 11, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 11, 2018 I miss my little man soo much. Lately I've been thinking about the day of the accident a lot. I remembered laying in bed with him at the hospital, every minute of that day. It's just relentless over and over again. Sometimes I wonder if he was somehow somewhere else that I can go see him so we can be together once again. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better just end it all, but i also think of my mom and what would do her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MargeeTx Posted November 14, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 14, 2018 Hey everybody. Why did my son die on a Tuesday morning? I hate Tuesday's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ashleys Mom Posted November 14, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 14, 2018 (edited) I lost my 25 year old daughter my only girl on Memorial Day in a 18 wheeler car accident she had a 6 year old and it was the most horrible thing ever I dream that I’m n the wreck n I fight n scream n my sleep I want to just die but I have now a 7 year old to raise. I feel it should have been me n the wreck n not my child.i feel lost hopeless,angry, blame myself. Edited November 14, 2018 by Pea75 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ashleys Mom Posted November 14, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 14, 2018 On 1/17/2005 at 1:31 AM, brin3d said: JSCMOM Today I can talk about my daughter. Some days are better than others. Her name was Darcia. She died because of a single car accident on a beautiful day with clear roads, etc. We went to the local celebration for the 4th of July and watched the parade together as a family and spent the day together. It was one of the few days that she was not stressed. She was enjoying herself watching her daughter learn to walk in the field where the booths were set up. I took photos of them that day not realizing it would be the last ones I took of her. The next morning she left the house to go do some errands and we were supposed to go get a birthday cake when she got back. We had waited until Sat to celebrate my birthday. She never made it back. She lost control of the vehicle on a curve and hit a telephone pole on the driver's side door. Her head impacted so hard that she sustained severe head injuries. She was airlifted to the hospital where they were wonderful to us. They tried everything possible to bring the swelling under control. It wasn't enough. They did all three tests prior to declaring her brain dead. The nurses that took care of her made me a plaster handprint in a heart-shaped mold so I could always have it. We never talked about organ donation so that was something my sons and I had to decide so we decided to do that so another family might be spared the grief we shared. It was one of the hardest decisions we ever had to make. The second was to have her cremated so she would always be home with me. We never discussed these things. It didn't seem like a necessity. I consider myself fortunate that I have my other children for many don't have that. I also have my 2 year old granddaughter that I am raising. Many of the children never had the chance to know the joy of having their own child. My daughter was able to experience that unconditional love of a child. For that I am grateful. I am also grateful that she was able to graduate, go to her prom, have a first love, and travel. I miss her each and every second of eternity. I’m sorry for your loss of your daughter that’s beyond sad on her birthday omg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NiquesMom Posted November 15, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 15, 2018 Ashleys mom: I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my 18 year old daughter on 12/21/17. I hate this new normal. Some days are better than others. I read all the time here, but dont always post. It has been a life saver. I can say things here I am not able to say to my husband. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members peggy a sad mom Posted November 15, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 15, 2018 ashleys mom i am so sorry for you. nov 20th will be 10 months for me. i still miss him every single day every minute. life is so very hard now. he was my only one and i don't have grandchildren. to be honest i believe you can't really miss what you never had. i read a lot on here also but believe me you can say what ever you want. if you need an answer from someone just ask. remember every one here is in the same boat just different stages. there is always some one to help someone take care peggy hi virginia i'm reading Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MargeeTx Posted November 16, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 16, 2018 Good evening,dear friends: We have a few new folks here.....bless you. I have found a sense of peace when I read this forum. I don't text a lot, but please know that I am certainly thinking of all of you. Mike and I attended the "Thansgiving Day and lunch" for my youngest grandson this morning. It was a precious. Program. It is amazing what children can learn. I think he enjoyed cutting the nuggets best. I am so LUCKY that My Jeremy decided to make DFW his home and the children are so close by. My family is scatttered from Omaha, South Carolina , Alabama, North and South Dakota, and New York. Since we lost my Mother in '93, we haven't been able to have a real reunion. That is something that we just NEED TO DO IT. And not just a wedding or a funeral. We need to pick a place and give everyone 2 years notice for vacation planning with jobs. It warms my soul just thinking of the possibility of doing it. My Father's family has a reunion every year on Father's Day. Last year we hit an all time high with 230 people attending. Family is so very important. I know having 2 of my brothers come when Jason died meant the world to me. Thanks for letting me ramble on. Xxoo margarett , Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted November 17, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 17, 2018 Ashley's Mom, and all folks here, I haven't been on for a while, school is very busy and I am doing a lot of babysitting with the Grandkids, so combined, I am pooped. Ashley's Mom, I am so sorry for the loss of your Girl, and I know that now raising your Grandchild has got to be exhausting...nothing better for that child than to be iwth you but it also means that you haven't been able to grieve properly. You will need time and space to grieve, are there other family members who your Grandchild feel close to to give you some time, a night here, a day there, to just be alone with your grief? Can you go to therapy? I know that at the 6 month point in my grief, I both started on this site and went to therapy, both of which have helped me immensely. I lost my Girl when she 19. A train at a broken crossing hit her car...this was 15.5 years ago. I am sitting here telling you that you can do this, it will not always feel this horrendously and achingly terrible, but you need time in which to acknowledge this loss, adjust to this loss, and find your new footing. It takes time and like all things worthwhile, there is a process of which to travel. The process of grief is individual, but there are many similar phases we all go through. Trust your heart, and know that the guilt is natural but also must be worked on, you did not cause the accident. YOu would have never chosen this outcome. Be kind to the woman who raised Ashley and to the Grandmom of this little one. Be kind to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NiquesMom Posted November 18, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 18, 2018 I had a small breakdown at Wal-Mart today. Walking through the clothing section and I see all the cute things nique would have liked, things I would have picked up to send her for christmas, things I don't have anyone to buy them for. Just stood there, staring, trying not to cry. And of course I ran into my boss at that exact moment. Just a very rough time. Think I will have to avoid stores. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Missing my little man Posted November 18, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 18, 2018 The holiday season are the hardest part of our grief. This Christmas i will be donating to the children hospital where my son was born. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tommy's mum Posted November 18, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 18, 2018 It has been quite a while since I posted here. The holidays are definitely very emotional for everyone no matter how far down the grief path you are. The first two years I would consider the worst after that there is a little more ability to get through it and even possibly "celebrate" a little which is important for the other children left behind even if they are adults. Some family traditions are too painful to use at the beginning and there is always time to make new ones or adapt old ones. There are no rules. Missingmylittleman your idea of donation is really touching. When my kids were young we always gave gifts to children in need and also sponsored 2 children in Africa year round. Sadly I have not been able to afford that again but I give a check in my son's name to a local homeless charity because it does not feel right Xmas shopping for 3 not 4 kids like I used to. Ashley'smom your gift of donated organs is the most precious of all. It will make life so much better for the recipients and you will know a little bit of your girl lives on in this world. being able to give to others in the holiday season is a real tribute to your spirit child and will help others. I saw a beautiful quote on Facebook that said Christmas to do list buy presents _ instead be present wrap gifts - instead wrap someone in a hug send gifts - instead send peace shop for food - instead donate food see the lights - instead be the light good words Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MargeeTx Posted November 18, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 18, 2018 Leslie: I really liked the quote. We have 2 other couples that we are very close to....dining out together,going to different events, cruise, etc. up until 2 years ago, we always made a huge deal out of birthday and Christmas. Then one friend got laid off from work right before Christmas, and we all agreed that we really don't need to continue to exchange Birthday and Christmas gifts " at our age." Not to mention the expense because we certainly did not give junk gifts. The main thing that I miss: we used to ALWAYS get together and now we don't make it each year. I am so down and depressed. I wish we could skip the holidays completely. Every time that the dates run thru my head, all I see is Jason. This sucks. ooxx margarett Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members peggy a sad mom Posted November 19, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 19, 2018 hi tommy's mum happy to see you. you were here when i first joined. tomorrow is 10 month's my son passed away. as sad and as hurt and broken hearted i have been i just didn't notice the depression till now. i hate my job very much i want to leave so bad but my husband keeps telling me to hold on a little longer. i don't cook i don't shop i clean only once in awhile when i have to. i just hate life how just tell me how in this universe we are expected to survive. i don't have other kids or any grandchildren which i'm glad for i would never want to put them through this. i do have brothers sisters nieces and nephews and friends who also miss my son so very much. my sister and my friend have called me every single day since this happened. i now find myself calling them and telling them i'm ok just going to bed ( at 530) in the evening. i don't want anyone to worry. i don't know how the holidays will be but i know i will have to show up everywhere we have plans. i will take my own car in case i can't make it through the day. everybody thanks for reading we all know how we all feel. i am so sorry for all of us peggy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members My girl is in heaven Posted November 20, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 Peggy. I know today must weigh heavy on you. And with the first holidays without your dear boy, you can’t be expected to be all pulled together. Have you seen a dr or therapist, perhaps going on anti depressants. I am 7 years in and still have to be on them. But they do make a difference once you get the kinds and amounts tweaked up. But they take awhile to get into your system, but I simply could not cope without them. Are you near retirement. The undue stress and anxiety by working, especially at a place where you don’t feel comfortable, can wear greatly on you. I got fired from my job of 29 years cause I just didn’t have the focus or concentration I had before Kira died. It was devastating at the time, but really a god send to have that burden off my shoulders. Can you consider early retirement or just quitting. I still don’t have an answer how we are expected to survive....but we do and you will. The holidays will be tough, I think they always will be, but we will hold on to each other every step of the way..Day by one day. Try and go somewhere with a friend, or out to a show, even though you don’t want to, allow yourself that step back once in awhile. To collect yourself, take a deep breath, find a little calm and peace, before you keep battling on. It is a divine gift to find the light inside while in the midst of despair.........and there is a light there Peggy...it might only be a pinhole at first, but you will find it friend. If you or anyone else wants to chat , I have free calling to the states, and am retired, so would be glad to help you out if you want. If not just keep coming here, I’m sorry I’ve been off for a bit, but dealing with some upheaval, but I’m back. Hugs.....Luanne...Kira’s mama 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members My girl is in heaven Posted November 20, 2018 Members Report Share Posted November 20, 2018 Margee....the old routines, get together, friends....they just don’t work anymore after we lose a child, we are not the same person we once were and most people think the old us is coming back. I had to leave all my friendships behind, because not only were they not supportive, they actually did me more harm. Hold on , yes the holidays are coming...and for sure it sucks. Do what ever feels right for you in terms of going out, decorating, gift giving, ..there is no right or wrong, just whatever works for you. And know that as the years go on, it may change how you approach holidays. Talking it out here will help you to stand back, look at and ponder how u want to proceed. Do you ever get snow in Texas....we get lots in Ontario. Hugs....Luanne...Kira’s mama Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now