Music and Memories

[widower2]

One of my favorite Bruce Hornsby songs - partly the lyrics but also just the general sound of the music (warning a sad, "wistful" song):

 

[LovingHerForever]

RIP!

 

[widower2]

(For those who might not know she passed today) Always liked her voice - RIP

[KayC]

It's never easy, is it, @widower2, these anv. of death.  

[widower2]

Sorry I meant Astrud Gilberto, not my beloved, but ty  

[Brazil Man]

Hi @LovingHerForever. Astrud Gilberto was a Brazilian singer. My wife liked her songs. Thank you for posting this song. Hugs Moises

[DWS]

 

[KayC]

OMG, this brings back memories!  My son loved Garth Brooks...this was a favorite for us both.

[widower2]

An oldie...it's about a breakup vs what we've been through, but still most of the words apply so well IMO 

 

[Brazil Man]

When I listen to this song and watch to this video it makes me travel in time and remind scenes of my wife and I together. Give a try if romantic songs don't cause you to feel depressed.

 

[DWS]

1 hour ago, Gator M said:

I can't  do music.  Many times it's a trigger.

I couldn't for months before but I'm slowly bringing music back into my life. It was always my truest friend and it's needed again....particularly the tunes I grew up with as a child and into my teens....before life started to really hit hard. 

[KayC]

4 hours ago, Gator M said:

Well, it's 5 months for me and I can't do it. 

18 years for me, and the same...I did at first and bawled through it, can't...

[Jemiga70]

This one busts me up, every line hits home, but it's a beautiful song that speaks to how our person is irreplaceable.  Joe Walsh from The Eagles on lead guitar.

Now you're gone away and I'm left to carry on  /  Ain't nobody else gonna bear up to comparison  /  And if I can't have the real thing  /  Then I've got to find someone, somebody like you.

 

 

[Jemiga70]

On 6/11/2023 at 9:08 AM, Gator M said:

Well, it's 5 months for me and I can't do it.

I couldn't do it at 5 months either.  I couldn't do it even after a year.  So I hear you.

[Roxeanne]

At 3 a.m. in the night a strong wish..."Wish you were here" .. 

From  Pompei  the ancient town where pain and grief lasted for centuries...

 

[Shinka]

I came across this a few weeks ago. It's beautiful, but also profoundly sad. Lara Fabian with Adagio. It caused a major wave of sobbing as it's so to the point. 

 

[Sparky1]

4 hours ago, Roxeanne said:

At 3 a.m. in the night a strong wish..."Wish you were here" .. 

From  Pompei  the ancient town where pain and grief lasted for centuries...

 

Roxanne, I didn't know you liked Pink Floyd. Saw that video many times and I also have 3 different t-shirts with Wish You Were Here on them in honour of my wife. Been listening to them since I was a kid, too bad they broke up, Roger Waters of Pink Floyd has amazing shows too. Grazie for the post.

[Roxeanne]

2 hours ago, Sparky1 said:

Roxanne, I didn't know you liked Pink Floyd

Yes i love Pink Floyd...i saw them in concert near Milan years ago! But most of all Giorgio loved them...i can't listen some of their songs without missing him too much!

Great that you love them too🥰

[Sparky1]

1 hour ago, Roxeanne said:

i can't listen some of their songs without missing him too much!

Oh yes, when I want to cry I just put on the Wish You Were Here album and close my eyes. It is tough but the words haunt me and makes my heart long for my wife even more. Giorgio had good taste.🙂

[A Lane]

Dear His Pumpkin: I am beyond sorry for your loss. Can you share with us how you are doing now? I lost my husband 4 months ago and this is my first time I reached out to any grief support. My husband and I had a huge love for music, we went to karaoke often and had our own system set up in our home for when we just didn't feel like going out. We were married 3 weeks shy of our 30th anniversary and my emotions are all over the place. I have gone from working full time in Hospice to part time at a grocery store because I needed to be in a place that didn't remind me of end of life. I try to stay busy around the house, yard, pool, but then I have days where I just want my blanket and silence. I'm 56 and don't want to be alone forever but I am certainly not out looking for anyone. I basically wanted to know after you have had some time, how you are coping?

[KayC]

@A Lane I am so sorry for your loss.  Welcome to our forum, four months is very recent, esp. after spending 30 years together.  My heart goes out to you.

Grief Process

This is not a one-size-fits-all, what strikes us one day will be different a few months/years from now, so please save/print this for reference!

I want to share an article I wrote of the things I've found helpful over the years, in the hopes something will be of help to you either now or on down the road.

TIPS TO MAKE YOUR WAY THROUGH GRIEF

There's no way to sum up how to go on in a simple easy answer, but I encourage you to read the other threads here, little by little you will learn how to make your way through this.  I do want to give you some pointers though, of some things I've learned on my journey.

• Take one day at a time.  The Bible says each day has enough trouble of its own, I've found that to be true, so don't bite off more than you can chew.  It can be challenging enough just to tackle today.  I tell myself, I only have to get through today.  Then I get up tomorrow and do it all over again.  To think about the "rest of my life" invites anxiety.
• Don't be afraid, grief may not end but it evolves.  The intensity lessens eventually.
• Visit your doctor.  Tell them about your loss, any troubles sleeping, suicidal thoughts, anxiety attacks.  They need to know these things in order to help you through it...this is all part of grief.
• Suicidal thoughts are common in early grief.  If they're reoccurring, call a suicide hotline.  I felt that way early on, but then realized it wasn't that I wanted to die so much as I didn't want to go through what I'd have to face if I lived.  Back to taking a day at a time.  Suicide Hotline - Call 1-800-273-8255 or www.crisis textline.org or US and Canada: text 741741 UK: text 85258 | Ireland: text 50808
• Give yourself permission to smile.  It is not our grief that binds us to them, but our love, and that continues still.
• Try not to isolate too much.  
• There's a balance to reach between taking time to process our grief, and avoiding it...it's good to find that balance for yourself.  We can't keep so busy as to avoid our grief, it has a way of haunting us, finding us, and demanding we pay attention to it!  Some people set aside time every day to grieve.  I didn't have to, it searched and found me!
• Self-care is extremely important, more so than ever.  That person that would have cared for you is gone, now you're it...learn to be your own best friend, your own advocate, practice self-care.  You'll need it more than ever.
• Recognize that your doctor isn't trained in grief, find a professional grief counselor that is.  We need help finding ourselves through this maze of grief, knowing where to start, etc.  They have not only the knowledge, but the resources.
• In time, consider a grief support group.  If your friends have not been through it themselves, they may not understand what you're going through, it helps to find someone somewhere who DOES "get it". 
• Be patient, give yourself time.  There's no hurry or timetable about cleaning out belongings, etc.  They can wait, you can take a year, ten years, or never deal with it.  It's okay, it's what YOU are comfortable with that matters.  
• Know that what we are comfortable with may change from time to time.  That first couple of years I put his pictures up, took them down, up, down, depending on whether it made me feel better or worse.  Finally, they were up to stay.
• Consider a pet.  Not everyone is a pet fan, but I've found that my dog helps immensely.  It's someone to love, someone to come home to, someone happy to see me, someone that gives me a purpose...I have to come home and feed him.  Besides, they're known to relieve stress.  Well maybe not in the puppy stage when they're chewing up everything, but there's older ones to adopt if you don't relish that stage.
• Make yourself get out now and then.  You may not feel interest in anything, things that interested you before seem to feel flat now.  That's normal.  Push yourself out of your comfort zone just a wee bit now and then.  Eating out alone, going to a movie alone or church alone, all of these things are hard to do at first.  You may feel you flunked at it, cried throughout, that's okay, you did it, you tried, and eventually you get a little better at it.  If I waited until I had someone to do things with I'd be stuck at home a lot.
• Keep coming here.  We've been through it and we're all going through this together.
• Look for joy in every day.  It will be hard to find at first, but in practicing this, it will change your focus so you can embrace what IS rather than merely focusing on what ISN'T.  It teaches you to live in the present and appreciate fully.  You have lost your big joy in life, and all other small joys may seem insignificant in comparison, but rather than compare what used to be to what is, learn the ability to appreciate each and every small thing that comes your way...a rainbow, a phone call from a friend, unexpected money, a stranger smiling at you, whatever the small joy, embrace it.  It's an art that takes practice and is life changing if you continue it.
• Eventually consider volunteering.  It helps us when we're outward focused, it's a win/win.

(((hugs)))  Praying for you today.

 

[DWS]

This song has such incredible beauty to it but after all of these years, I never fully listened to its lyric and meaning. It's a song George Michael wrote in honour of his late lover who had died in the early '90s. Wikipedia: "Michael had been unable to write for the next 18 months as a consequence of his grief, but then penned the words to "Jesus To A Child" in little more than an hour."

This is a song I needed to hear tonight....full of love, reflection and understanding. "So the words that you could not say, I'll sing them for you"

 

[LovingHerForever]

 

[widower2]

Catching up on this...lots of great stuff here you guys.

On my beloved's birthday, I am listening to various tunes that have some meaning in one way or other and I don't think I ever posted this one...it's not exactly about mourning per se, but a lot of the words I could relate to in that way:

 

[DWS]

Dolly Parton has shared her rendition of "Let It Be" that will be on her "Rockstar" album coming out in November. She is surrounded by rock legends...Paul McCartney on piano and vocals, Ringo Starr on drums, Peter Frampton on guitar, and Mick Fleetwood adding some percussion. It's such a beauty. I've been a fan of Dolly's music since my late teens. I'd have to say that her songs have helped guide me through my life's ups and downs for almost five decades. Hearing her voice now on a song like this is truly comforting. 

 

[Rey Dominguez Jr]

I only fairly recently started posting on this site via a couple of different threads.  This one intrigued me.  I have a different take on the music and memories.  My wife, Veronica, and I spent 1 year and 10 months in Hawaii after we got married in 1975.  I was on a submarine in Pearl Harbor, she was 19 years old when I took her away from home, and we grew as a married couple in Hawaii.  When we left the islands in 1977, there was still a desire for both of us to visit one more time.  We had a trip planned in the last week of April this year, that is until her kidney health took a dive, and with congestive heart failure, she went to sleep June 27.  Had to cancel hotel and air reservations 5 days before departure on her doctor’s orders.  I don’t know if I am torturing myself, but I have my Pandora app set to Hawaiian Radio or Hawaiian Islander Radio.  Many hula and slack-key melodies.  Veronica enjoyed listening to them with me before she passed.  Now a reminder of a last adventure that will never happen anymore.  I’m sure I’ll get past this but I’m not sure I want to.  😪

[KayC]

My thoughts and prayers...

[widower2]

I can understand that, although it wasn't and isn't the same for me. I couldn't ever stop listening to music for any reason; it's always been too much a part of my life and of me. Sometimes sure, certain music was hard and I avoided for a long time, but some was helpful to me, as music always has been to me. It might have been helpful in improving my mood, or distracting me from the situation, or oddly sometimes the opposite...sometimes I found it helpful to just let go and wallow in my grief. Maybe that was just self-pity; I didn't know for sure and didn't care. It helped; that's all that mattered to me at the time 

[Brazil Man]

On 9/6/2023 at 11:37 PM, widower2 said:

sometimes I found it helpful to just let go and wallow in my grief.

Interestingly I like sad songs when they are romantic, they help release my tears anf I and feel better afterwads. I'm posting a song sung by  the Brazilian singer Morris Albert: Feelings.

 

 

[Brazil Man]

Another beautiful and sad song:

 

[foreverhis]

On 6/4/2023 at 1:57 AM, Roxeanne said:

A night i need to remember him i find this song

 

I am sitting in my ophthalmologist’s waiting room right now until I am called back for the second part of my appointment. This song just played. Yeah, I am looking like a bit of an idiot wiping my eyes and trying not to actually sob. Of course the waiting room is full, but fortunately I am not the only one with her phone in front of her. Weird how some things never seem to change.

[foreverhis]

On 9/6/2023 at 7:37 PM, widower2 said:

I can understand that, although it wasn't and isn't the same for me. I couldn't ever stop listening to music for any reason; it's always been too much a part of my life and of me. Sometimes sure, certain music was hard and I avoided for a long time, but some was helpful to me, as music always has been to me. It might have been helpful in improving my mood, or distracting me from the situation, or oddly sometimes the opposite...sometimes I found it helpful to just let go and wallow in my grief. Maybe that was just self-pity; I didn't know for sure and didn't care. It helped; that's all that mattered to me at the time 

This is true for me as well.  John and I came from families and homes filled with music and the arts. 

I started singing when I was about 8, though I didn't get serious about it until high school.  I started playing the flute at 11.  Naturally, I was a "band kid" "orchestra nerd," and "choir geek" throughout middle school, high school, and college.  I started performing theater in high school.  Music is so ingrained in me that I have no specific recollection of learning to read music because I learned so young.

John's upbringing was similar in many ways.  From the time he was a toddler, he was exposed to music, theater, ballet (his mom had been a ballerina before marriage), and art (his grandma was a wonderful painter).  We met in the theater, became friends in the same arts circles, and our first date was a daytime outing in and around San Francisco because we had a performance of Mame that night.  From that day on, we were together and never looked back.

There are countless songs, orchestral pieces, musicals, etc. etc. that are meaningful to us.  Some I may never be able to listen to again.  Others I "test" myself on from time to time, sometimes successfully and other times, not.  I sometimes put on something that I know will set me off.  It helps as a catharsis when things have built up too much inside.  I don't care if that's considered wallowing because it is a needed release.  I have never been comfortable crying in front of others, but in private I'm a waterfall sometimes.  Today, I didn't sob in the waiting room, but it was pretty obvious that I was close to losing it.  Eyes closed, tears gently flowing, and one hand clutching John's wedding ring from around my neck.  That's unusual for me.

 

 

[widower2]

33 minutes ago, foreverhis said:

I was a "band kid" "orchestra nerd," and "choir geek" throughout middle school, high school, and college. 

Oh nooooo, I can't associate with you anymore!    

Actually I was never any of those things, but looking back, I kinda wish I was. I remember that despite how "nerdy" they might have been or seemed, mostly they seemed to be happy and confident kids, content within their own musical circle. 

Quote

I sometimes put on something that I know will set me off.  It helps as a catharsis when things have built up too much inside.  I don't care if that's considered wallowing because it is a needed release.  I have never been comfortable crying in front of others, but in private I'm a waterfall sometimes.  Today, I didn't sob in the waiting room, but it was pretty obvious that I was close to losing it.  Eyes closed, tears gently flowing, and one hand clutching John's wedding ring from around my neck.  That's unusual for me.

I'm sorry. It is rare for me these days too. I have certain songs I play on her birthday that are meaningful in one way or another. They don't set me off like they used to and oddly I can't decide if that's good or bad... 

[DWS]

The Bob Dylan song "Tomorrow Is A Long Time" is a new discovery for me and what's really fascinating is the different connotation that one artist can make compared to others. I listened to Dylan's original. Many others sang it...Elvis, Rod Stewart, Ian and Sylvia, Joan Baez...but Judy Collins' version is the one that captures a sadder, grieving tone like no other. I wouldn't recommend listening to this beautiful but somber song in early grief but for those of us who, later on, search for musical expression of what lies within our hearts, it feels right.

 

[Roxeanne]

I don't know if it is the real meaning of this song, but for me it's like a prayer to my love....

 

[foreverhis]

22 hours ago, widower2 said:

Oh nooooo, I can't associate with you anymore!    

Actually I was never any of those things, but looking back, I kinda wish I was. I remember that despite how "nerdy" they might have been or seemed, mostly they seemed to be happy and confident kids, content within their own musical circle. 

  There's no easy way to put this:  Band/music/theater kids aren't as nerdy as we seem on the outside.  Oh, don't get me wrong, we're geeks for sure, but we get into our own kinds of trouble.  My first (and only) ditching of class was in high school with a--wait for it--trombone player.  Is it any wonder I fell for one as an adult and married him?   That day, we didn't do anything super dangerous (meaning no sex or anything like that), but we did sneak alcohol from his dad's cabinet.  It tasted awful, but you know, we were so daring.  A whole bunch of band friends smoked pot in high school.  I, of course, waited until college so I could be a cliche.  And we stayed out late after football games (marching band, so fun), concerts, and shows.  I guess that's the point where my circadian rhythm really changed to "night owl."

We were definitely in our own world, our own clique, I guess.  We didn't have to "find" where we fit in high school because we already knew.

 

[widower2]

Another song most are probably familiar with, not ground-breaking or anything, but another one I think says it simply and plainly. We both really liked this song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt2HSAfa2rQ

 

[ThereIsAField]

Ohhhhh this thread... I've been staring at it for months, ignoring it intensely, cos I knew I wasn't ready to deal with it... I'm about half way through reading it now... Thank you to everyone who contributed such honest and heartfelt songs and thoughts.

I'm grateful to have made enough progress to be able read here... I had a really intense therapy session yesterday, where the therapist got me to speak to him... She placed an empty chair across from me and asked me to say all the things I needed to say to him. It was... beyond intense... I wasn't sure I could do it... and it was a mess... one step forwards, two steps backwards, stumble over and forget where you were going kind of thing... But somehow it's helped... It's a bit less awful now, somehow... And today, in the wake of it, I thought... gulp... I'm going to open this thread and at least try to read one or two posts... and I'll survive...

That's all I can say for now, about the subject of music and loss and grieving. Maybe I'll eventually find some more words. But it's healing to have opened this emotional can of worms and I'm grateful you guys created this thoughtful, heartfelt thread... 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

[Mimi CJH]

When we were dating, my husband would sing along when this song came on the radio. He also had the song on an album and he would look into my eyes with his "Paul Newman" eyes and sing along with it. It became our song and was sang (regrettably NOT by John Denver) at our wedding. The introductory verse is even more true now than it was then.

Lyrics
It's by far the hardest thing I've ever done,
To be so in love with you and so alone.
Follow me where I go, what I do, who I know
Make it part of you to be a part of me.
Follow me up and down,
All the way and all around,
Take my hand and say you'll follow me.
It's long been on my mind,
You know it's been a long, long time,
I've tried to find the way that I can make you understand
The way I feel about you,
And just how much I need you
To be there where I can talk to you
When there's no one else around.
Follow me where I go, what I do, who I know
Make it part of you to be a part of me.
Follow me up and down,
All the way and all around,
Take my hand and say you'll follow me.
You see I'd like to share my life with you
And show you things I've seen,
Places that I'm going to
Places where I've been
To have you there beside me
To never be alone
And all the time that you're with me,
We will be at home
Follow me where I go, what I do, who I know
Make it part of you to be a part of me.
Follow me up and down,
All the way...
Take my hand and I will follow you.

Edited October 14, 2023 by Mimi CJH
When I clicked to post,, it showed a different song ranther than follow me. When I came in to edit, it shows the John Denver, "Follow me" youtube. Not sure what is going on?

[KayC]

@Mimi CJH

Welcome to our forum.  It helps to come here and read and post, just as you are doing and know there are others that get it.
 

Grief Process

This is not a one-size-fits-all, what strikes us one day will be different a few months/years from now, so please save/print this for reference!

I want to share an article I wrote of the things I've found helpful over the years, in the hopes something will be of help to you either now or on down the road.

TIPS TO MAKE YOUR WAY THROUGH GRIEF

There's no way to sum up how to go on in a simple easy answer, but I encourage you to read the other threads here, little by little you will learn how to make your way through this.  I do want to give you some pointers though, of some things I've learned on my journey.

• Take one day at a time.  The Bible says each day has enough trouble of its own, I've found that to be true, so don't bite off more than you can chew.  It can be challenging enough just to tackle today.  I tell myself, I only have to get through today.  Then I get up tomorrow and do it all over again.  To think about the "rest of my life" invites anxiety.
• Don't be afraid, grief may not end but it evolves.  The intensity lessens eventually.
• Visit your doctor.  Tell them about your loss, any troubles sleeping, suicidal thoughts, anxiety attacks.  They need to know these things in order to help you through it...this is all part of grief.
• Suicidal thoughts are common in early grief.  If they're reoccurring, call a suicide hotline.  I felt that way early on, but then realized it wasn't that I wanted to die so much as I didn't want to go through what I'd have to face if I lived.  Back to taking a day at a time.  Suicide Hotline - Call 1-800-273-8255 or www.crisis textline.org or US and Canada: text 741741 UK: text 85258 | Ireland: text 50808
• Give yourself permission to smile.  It is not our grief that binds us to them, but our love, and that continues still.
• Try not to isolate too much.  
• There's a balance to reach between taking time to process our grief, and avoiding it...it's good to find that balance for yourself.  We can't keep so busy as to avoid our grief, it has a way of haunting us, finding us, and demanding we pay attention to it!  Some people set aside time every day to grieve.  I didn't have to, it searched and found me!
• Self-care is extremely important, more so than ever.  That person that would have cared for you is gone, now you're it...learn to be your own best friend, your own advocate, practice self-care.  You'll need it more than ever.
• Recognize that your doctor isn't trained in grief, find a professional grief counselor that is.  We need help finding ourselves through this maze of grief, knowing where to start, etc.  They have not only the knowledge, but the resources.
• In time, consider a grief support group.  If your friends have not been through it themselves, they may not understand what you're going through, it helps to find someone somewhere who DOES "get it". 
• Be patient, give yourself time.  There's no hurry or timetable about cleaning out belongings, etc.  They can wait, you can take a year, ten years, or never deal with it.  It's okay, it's what YOU are comfortable with that matters.  
• Know that what we are comfortable with may change from time to time.  That first couple of years I put his pictures up, took them down, up, down, depending on whether it made me feel better or worse.  Finally, they were up to stay.
• Consider a pet.  Not everyone is a pet fan, but I've found that my dog helps immensely.  It's someone to love, someone to come home to, someone happy to see me, someone that gives me a purpose...I have to come home and feed him.  Besides, they're known to relieve stress.  Well maybe not in the puppy stage when they're chewing up everything, but there's older ones to adopt if you don't relish that stage.
• Make yourself get out now and then.  You may not feel interest in anything, things that interested you before seem to feel flat now.  That's normal.  Push yourself out of your comfort zone just a wee bit now and then.  Eating out alone, going to a movie alone or church alone, all of these things are hard to do at first.  You may feel you flunked at it, cried throughout, that's okay, you did it, you tried, and eventually you get a little better at it.  If I waited until I had someone to do things with I'd be stuck at home a lot.
• Keep coming here.  We've been through it and we're all going through this together.
• Look for joy in every day.  It will be hard to find at first, but in practicing this, it will change your focus so you can embrace what IS rather than merely focusing on what ISN'T.  It teaches you to live in the present and appreciate fully.  You have lost your big joy in life, and all other small joys may seem insignificant in comparison, but rather than compare what used to be to what is, learn the ability to appreciate each and every small thing that comes your way...a rainbow, a phone call from a friend, unexpected money, a stranger smiling at you, whatever the small joy, embrace it.  It's an art that takes practice and is life changing if you continue it.
• Eventually consider volunteering.  It helps us when we're outward focused, it's a win/win.

(((hugs)))  Praying for you today.

 

[Brazil Man]

Beautiful Italian song with English subtitles:
https://www.facebook.com/IlVoloEnglishTranslations/videos/io-che-amo-solo-te-gianluca-solo/559815057521352/

 

[Roxeanne]

A song that talks of my sorrow

 

[Brazil Man]

"How can I forget, those beautiful dreams that we shared ?" 
 

 

[Rey Dominguez Jr]

My nephew shared a song with me that made him think of my wife, Veronica, and I.  Never heard of the group before but I looked it up.  The songs speaks about how our loved ones live in our hearts and memories, thus we keep them alive in our minds. 

"And hold on to memories
Hold on to every moment
To keep them alive
The world's greatest tragedy
Souls who are not remembered
Cannot survive"

 

 

[foreverhis]

8 hours ago, Rey Dominguez Jr said:

My nephew shared a song with me that made him think of my wife, Veronica, and I.  Never heard of the group before but I looked it up.  The songs speaks about how our loved ones live in our hearts and memories, thus we keep them alive in our minds. 

"And hold on to memories
Hold on to every moment
To keep them alive
The world's greatest tragedy
Souls who are not remembered
Cannot survive"

 

 

That’s really lovely.

I believe it was KayC who first mentioned in a thread (or at least, the first time I remember reading it) that because we are the ones left here on earth, we are now the keepers of their memories. It is up to us to make sure they are not forgotten, that their stories are told, and that their lives continue on in us.

 It was one of the first notions that truly resonated for me in my awful, impossibly painful first year. And it helped to have a concrete idea of why the heck I was still and should remain alive without John by my side. I had been saying to him (yes, out loud and often), “I don’t think I can do this without you,” and “You need to come get me now,” etc.

And so it struck me that our daughter still needed her mom to be around for a while longer.  More than that, that I needed to be here for our granddaughter as she finishes growing up. It was up to me to tell her stories of her beloved, adored and adoring grandpa. She needed me (and still does) to comfort her in a way that would help her get through her own loss and pain. So when she tells me something good she’s done and asks, “Do you think grandpa would be proud of me?” I can answer, “Yes, he would be so proud and happy.” Or when she asks, “What do you think grandpa would tell me to do?” when she’s confused or worried or upset, I can answer honestly because she understands that I knew her grandpa best of all, even over her mom. He was about the best dad and grandpa in the world, imperfections and all. I am her strongest connection to him and that matters to her so much.

Thanks for posting this.❤️

[KayC]

I don't recall that and can't find any links to it, sorry!

[foreverhis]

4 minutes ago, KayC said:

I don't recall that and can't find any links to it, sorry!

It may very well have been a thread you were part of, but someone else wrote that sentiment. It’s been years now.  Funny how sometimes it seems like it was just yesterday that I fumbled my way here, but it’s going on 5 years now.

[Brazil Man]

"I can wait forever
If you say you'll be there too
I can wait forever, if you will
I know it's worth it all
To spend my life alone with you" 
 

 

 

[Brazil Man]

"Since you went away the days grow long
And soon I'll hear old winter's song
But I miss you most of all my darling
When autumn leaves start to fall"
 

 

[Brazil Man]

"Would you know my name?
If I saw you in Heaven
Would it be the same?
If I saw you in Heaven"