Lost My Best Friend

[KayC]

OMG, I am so sorry!  Another loss...I don't think I could handle that environment, it seems the society there isn't caring enough to the plight of animals.  They need rescues, vets, fences, protection!  Damn I'm sorry.    My heart breaks for you...and his owner.  At least there's some that care, just not enough people/organizations like we take for granted here.  We have to pay for expensive licensing every year, even in the country where it does us no good, but at least it benefits the humane society, where I rescued Arlie from.  They didn't notice he was very sick (lifelong acute chronic Colitis, and he got kennel cough there), they had his species and age and weight wrong.  But they saved his life,. in spite of giving him horrible food.  They had him for two weeks, enough time he stayed alive until I adopted him and could bring him to good health and home.  So I don't resent paying them the big bucks every year.  I think of it as a tribute to Arlie.

Sending you warm thoughts your way as your heart is once again heavy.

 

[John9]

KayC,

When my loving wife and I adopted our Catahoula from the Michigan Humane Society, they "forgot" to list that he was deaf. By the time we found out we already bonded with him, and they didn't even offer to discount the fees we paid. I used to support by donations until every donation I have given is constantly followed by my requests for donations. I have now started giving to the local shelter quietly.

[foreverhis]

@OldTrojan  I'm so sorry you are going through yet another loss.  How sad that animals' lives aren't valued throughout the world.  It's not surprising that your grief for Bear would come strongly again.

I wish I had words of true comfort, but all I can offer is that I do believe that Bear and Marcus are together, healthy, happy, and playing.  I believe they will be waiting for you when it's your time, just as I have faith that my John will be there to greet me with our two most special furry sweethearts, Charlie Bear and Penny. 

Please take care of yourself and let yourself grieve this compounded loss.  It's not fair, but then we all already know that life is unfair.

[KayC]

My last "donation" was his license, it's 1 1/2 hours away, no one responds up here if we need them to (dog bite, dog at large, barking late at night, etc.) so we basically get NOTHING for our licensing, I'm a senior, they don't even give a senior discount if dog is "intact" and yet Kodie is NEVER at large, and I don't consider it their business.  I will get him neutered this summer likely but it means another 3 hour round trip by appt, and the first year I had him he was too little, he reacted very hard to the vaccinations, I couldn't imagine putting him at risk for unnecessary surgery, last summer we had constant fire threats, evacuations, so couldn't deal with it then.  So they basically get our $ for no return.  Vets here have mandatory reporting to the county so they know you have a dog and send you a bill.   Since it's connected to Greenhill Humane Society, I figure that's my "donation" to them!

II totally reiterate everything foreverhis said, I am so sorry you're going through this again, not only stirs up your first loss, but this is another loss of its own.

 

 

[John9]

23 minutes ago, KayC said:

I am so sorry you're going through this again, not only stirs up your first loss, but this is another loss of its own.

KayC,

I agree and sadly when there are too many in a short time, nothing makes it any easier. What you said about what you have to go through with licensing and all of the other factors are understandable as well. But it is also the Government and no leeway in the rules. All of our animals have been fixed ever since I ended up with a surprise litter of puppies 36 years ago. Many were already done before we got them and the ones we licensed we did receive the cheaper price, but it is all relative isn't it. What is cheap anymore, I hope that when the time comes and you take Kodie all goes well. It does seem too much from my broken brain sometimes.

[OldTrojan]

Kay, John and Foreverhis, thanks for the comments.  I try to be introspective, not always successfully.  Marcus was not just a great dog and a good pal to me, but as Bear’s best friend he was a link to Bear for me.  As part of our early morning walk, I brought dog treats for Emi, Marcus, Bear, and whatever other dogs that hung out there, and it’s been tough the last few days bringing one less treat, again.

To answer Johns question from a couple of days ago, Miss Kitty seems OK.  She’s not a domesticated house cat, but a wild cat who has found a good place to hang out, free from predators, with regular meals, and back scratches and head rubs when she wants them.  True to being wild, when the time came she went off somewhere secretive to have the kittens, although she visited me often.  For eight weeks, I never saw or heard kittens.  Then when the kittens were big enough to climb stairs, she brought them upstairs.  Next to my building is a furnished container that my landlord uses as an office, and the railing of my stairs at the landing is connected to its top by a 2x6 about four feet long.  Miss Kitty brought the kittens to the container top; only two survived.  On top is a wooden framework that supports an inclined metal roof as part of our rain catching.  Good place for the kittens as it is secure and nothing can get up there, is out of the rain, and they only have a four foot walk to get food and water.  The kittens are being raised as wild cats, which is all Miss Kitty knows.  When they see me, they run away.  They really need to be socialized with people if they are going to survive, and I don’t know how to do that.

[KayC]

I don't know how to domesticate a wild cat, I fed one for a year, I named her Peek-a-Boo, she was orange and shy of people, she'd peek around the corner of my ramp before coming up to the patio to eat, hence her name, she was missing teeth.  My son had to put her down as she had disease throughout her from her bad teeth, so sad, but it was the kindest thing to do to her, she went instantly.  Sometimes life really sucks and that's a moment that's hard to remember.    I'm sorry some of the kittens died, do you know how many she had?  How they deal with their harsh realities, I don't know.  You provide food and water, and that is a plus to them, as well as a safe place to be, away from "the dog."

[foreverhis]

10 hours ago, KayC said:

My son had to put her down as she had disease throughout her from her bad teeth, so sad, but it was the kindest thing to do to her, she went instantly.  Sometimes life really sucks and that's a moment that's hard to remember. 

I'm sorry, Kay.  It's so true that those images and memories stay in our minds and hearts forever.  I know you know this, but I'm going to say it anyway:  You gave her more care and compassion than she had likely known in her entire life.  She mattered to you and so you and your son did what you knew was the right thing.  I have faith that the Rainbow Bridge exists, maybe not how we imagine it, but it's there.  And there she would have found a beautiful life full of all the joy and love she deserved.  (Still, it brings a tear to my eye thinking about it.  Sometimes I'm not so sure that having a sensitive heart is a good thing.)

[KayC]

Thank you.

[OldTrojan]

Sadness here.   Miss Kitty has taken her kids somewhere else.  I don’t know why she would leave a safe secure place here, with food and head rubs.  They have been gone for a day and a half.  I am not at all a cat person, but I miss my little girl.  After 6 months, though 2 months of pregnancy and 8 weeks of kittens, they are gone.

[KayC]

I am so sorry.  Being somewhat wild maybe has something to do with it?  Maybe wanting them to learn survival?  I know you're missing her, but she may be back to visit from time to time.

[John9]

OldTrojan,

I hope that KayC is correct and Miss Kitty is teaching the kittens how to survive. Hopefully she will come back to visit you for those head rubs and scratches. Just seems so much sometimes to deal with.

[KayC]

@OldTrojan I was just wondering if you have an update, it's been several weeks since we've heard from you, do you see Miss Kitty anymore?  Did the landlord ever come back?  Is the dog still around?  Have you seen the kitties?

I have a feral cat has been hanging out around here and three of the neighbors, it's orange, pretty good size.  His ears aren't clipped so probably hasn't been spayed/neutered, not sure of the sex as I can't get that close.  He meows at me from the yard.  

Yesterday I opened home canned fish and gave him some, he was leery, ran off the first time I tried to but the second time he watched from afar, very cautiously, but when I left he approached it carefully and literally gulped it down!  Probably the first time he ate something that he didn't have to catch.  I'm going to try to earn his trust, will have to buy some cat food next week when I get groceries, will try to make the fish stretch until then.  IF I can earn his trust, will have to think of a name for him, maybe Panther as that's kind of how he moves.

[OldTrojan]

Hi Kay:

Thanks for following up.  Just after I was last on here, my bad back went out and I was laid up in excruciating pain for five days, but I haven’t been recovering as usual and continue with pain.  I have had such major outages every 11/2 to 2 years since being rear-ended in 1977, but many more minor ones.  It has been too painful to sit, so haven’t been on the internet often.  I can sit for only about 5 minutes per hour now.  I have only left the apartment 4 times to get food, and did so carefully and came straight back.  I haven’t visited Emi, but going there is not the same without Marcus running out to greet me.  Physical problems get worse with age.

I was out throwing out garbage back before my back went out, and when I came back Miss Kitty was sitting in my kitchen after being gone 2 ½ days.  I saw the kittens the next day, but they are still scared of me and won’t come close. In the 5 weeks since, she has disappeared twice for one day, and last week for two days.  When I put out food, they were obviously very hungry, so their travels didn’t feed them much. It is pretty good back here for the cats, safe and regular meals, so I do not know why she would leave and risk the road and nasty dogs.

My landlord is still in Palm Springs.  He doesn’t want to go through the quarantine     ordeal, and the government may foolishly end it soon.  The puppy isn’t here much – only when the whole family is here and usually there is only the mom, or perhaps also the dad.

Good luck with the feral cat.

A few weeks ago a friend with whom I worked passed away.  A downside of getting old is losing people.  I hope you are doing OK, Kay.  When I was on here last you had just suffered the loss of a friend and your sister.  You have helped so many people with grief, I hate to see such losses affect you, too.

 

[KayC]

I am so sorry your back has suffered so much all these years, 45 years!  I have a good back, it's my hands and feet and knees that have sustained so much damage...I find we need ALL our body parts or it makes difficulty!

Feral cat has not been here to heat the last three nights, it POURED rain so perhaps that's why.  My son was here Sat. night into Sunday helping me, he hadn't been here for years, he brought his 3 1/2 month old Golden Retriever Murray and Kodie is just now recuperating from all of the activity!

I still struggle with the loss of my sister, Peggy.  I feel I am going through it alone, we were in each other's lives daily for the 45 years we've both lived here, and now that's all gone..  We play the wait game the government forces on us, we can't access her $ to pay her bills until Sept./Oct.  Meanwhile I have her bill collectors calling.  If my brother leaves a different light on there, her neighbors all call me.   I think they're finally used to him popping in and out.  Funny, he never came before when she was alive, he has five kids, three jobs and a grandchild, so very busy.  I have no idea how he does it all but he's still young (15 years younger than me)..

I've decided to call the kitty Panther if he sticks around.  Not sure if male or female, I can't get that close, but assume male as it's not pregnant.  I saw fresh cat tracks on my car yesterday so it's still getting into my rafters/attic above my carport/storage room.  The people I called to close off the attic never showed in all these months, I have the chicken wire but can't do it myself.

I am sorry you too have lost a friend, it's so hard.  I'm nearing 70, it seems it's happened steadily the last several years!  Husband, parents, two sisters, countless friends, pets, and more.  Life is about loss it seems but it escalates the older we get.

Today/tomorrow we find out if my daughter's divorce went through or got dismissed, I pray to God she gets that release at long last.  He's already moved on.

We have no mask mandate here except at doctors or any business requiring it.  Still on for airports.  My little sister flew to France for 2 1/2 months, it wasn't easy, she ended up in the hospital right away, scaring us all but she's okay.  She learned no more champagne on an empty stomach, especially French, American isn't as strong.  She's diabetic and had a hypoglycemic episode.

I will pray for your back as well as your Kitty/kittens.  I hope I see Panther today.  I still have some fish to feed her and bought some canned tuna yesterday...costs twice that of catfood but I thought perhaps healthier.

 

[John9]

6 hours ago, KayC said:

Today/tomorrow we find out if my daughter's divorce went through or got dismissed, I pray to God she gets that release at long last.  He's already moved on.

KayC,

I hope that your Daughter (and you) receive some good news about her Divorce. It would at least be some less pressure. I hope that the Probate for Peggy moves smoothly too, faster than it has for me. But the Courts move at their own pace, and nothing will change that.

[OldTrojan]

We pay significant penalties for ageing.  We see friends, relatives and loved ones pass away.  I’ve never been able to be philosophical about this.  When I was four my maternal grandfather passed away, and trying to console me, my mother said he was in a better place.  With the wisdom of a four year old I said “but he’s not here with us”.  Still my attitude 70 years later.  This morning I heard that a retired teacher friend of mine next door died from a heart attack.  Nice guy enjoying his retirement.  I’ll miss his intelligent conversation.

Physical problems mount with age.  My back is a major problem, but I have painful problems all over.  Getting old is no fun.

Kay, I hope that you have luck with your wild cat.  It takes patience.  Miss Kitty has been here eight months now, but the early stages to gain her trust were difficult.  She even bit me early on.  Probably the longer that a cat has been wild, the more difficult that this transition is.

[KayC]

On 5/31/2022 at 1:23 PM, John9 said:

I hope that the Probate for Peggy moves smoothly too, faster than it has for me.

It appears not as we won't be able to even touch anything until probably October.

We have filed seven documents on Melissa's Divorce, the eighth one is nine pages and hopefully the final draft will file today.  Then the wait begins once they accept it.  No idea how long this takes, so long as we can see it happening...she needs it.  He first told her he was leaving her right before Easter 2017, after her miscarriage of their baby.  What kind of a ___ does that!  He's come and gone in the years since, breaking her heart and keeping her life in turmoil.  She needs the closure.

Panther showed up again last night, I fed him home canned tuna and got him fresh water.  He sat outside meowing at me for hours but won't come close.  I wish he'd come up on the patio, I'd bring him the small doghouse and a pillow/blanket to sleep on, he'd be safe from wild animals.  There's a porch swing with a soft blanket on it on my covered patio but he's gone UNDER the patio, never on it.  I doubt feral cats will domesticate to this extent.

10 hours ago, OldTrojan said:

my mother said he was in a better place.  With the wisdom of a four year old I said “but he’s not here with us”. 

You were astute!  I've heard this said on grief forums by grievers, "But what better place is there than here at home!"    I agree, but I've never been to the other side, at least there they don't have coronavirus and war and people shooting people and worries about gas and grocery prices and things going wrong.  I don't have a concept of heaven, I'm sure it's not all heavenly choirs, but neither can I imagine what it'll be like.  But as Scripture says: “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

 

 

[John9]

11 hours ago, OldTrojan said:

When I was four my maternal grandfather passed away, and trying to console me, my mother said he was in a better place.  With the wisdom of a four year old I said “but he’s not here with us”.

OldTrojan,

I feel the same way about it, AND definitely about my loving wife. I am sorry for the loss of your neighbor and friend. There used to be a joke, that old age isn't for wimps. It is no longer a joke, though.

57 minutes ago, KayC said:

It appears not as we won't be able to even touch anything until probably October.

KayC,

I really don't understand with all of the electronic ways these days why it takes so long, and this from someone who is going through it. Sadly the comment about your Daughters ex and who does that sort of thing, there seem to many who do it. I too hope that Panther allows you to help and becomes more social. Next Friday is one year since I had to have our last Chihuahua euthanized and this existence just sucks so much, I miss my loving wife so much and all of the animals too.

[KayC]

Haven't heard back from the paralegal yet, she was going to file day before yesterday, then yesterday, but still no word...so assume not done yet.   I was so hoping today would be a day to celebrate, now it's with heavy heart, I hate the waiting, all the time, waiting on something.

22 hours ago, John9 said:

There used to be a joke, that old age isn't for wimps. It is no longer a joke, though.

I just wrote that somewhere!  Totally...

Panther didn't show up last night, I notice he doesn't when it's pouring rain.  

[John9]

3 hours ago, KayC said:

Haven't heard back from the paralegal yet, she was going to file day before yesterday, then yesterday, but still no word...so assume not done yet.   I was so hoping today would be a day to celebrate, now it's with heavy heart, I hate the waiting, all the time, waiting on something.

KayC,

Here in Michigan we can somewhat follow the paper trail online through the Court websites. Doesn't make it faster but in some ways at least I don't have to wait for someone to call me. I do understand the waiting though and I hate it too.

[KayC]

I haven't been able to find it but my paralegal friend is keeping an eye out on it and sends me what she finds...

[John9]

Today is one year since I had to euthanize our last dog. I really hadn't realized that I was still going to experience more FIRSTS. But with this one and the thought that in August MIL's one year of her death too. And then the one year for my loving wife's Cousin and.....I guess I am right that my grieving really is endless. I just want all of this to end.

[KayC]

(((hugs)))  It doesn't.  But I look back on day one and I don't think anything was worse than that.

[OldTrojan]

For those of us who are not lawyers, it is a mystery how some court procedures move at a glacial pace, while others seem expedited.

 

Real sadness here.  The people who own the small store who adopted Emi are leaving in two weeks.  They have been trying, unsuccessfully, to find a home for her.  It pains me to know that soon I will never see her again when she has a new home.  This is very difficult here, especially for female dogs.  She has always been special to me, since Bear found her as a little fluff-ball discarded in a box of trash, and I spent so much time taking so many ticks off of her tiny body.  It has always been a highlight of my day, and Bear’s, to visit her, and Marcus. I already miss her.   It will be very sad walking by, with neither Emi or Marcus there.

 

John, I’m sorry that you are dealing with these anniversaries and their pain.  You made it through the original events, and are stronger than you realize to have done so.  You will make it through these anniversaries, too.  As Kay says, they are not as bad as the original events.

[foreverhis]

56 minutes ago, OldTrojan said:

It will be very sad walking by, with neither Emi or Marcus there.

I'm so sorry you will have yet another loss.  I wish life wasn't so painful and that people around the world treated animals better than they do.  Sometimes I think we humans in general simply don't deserve the unconditional love, the joy, and the comfort our fur family brings to us, asking so little in return.  I know how much every one of them means and meant to you.  Is there any chance you could consider adopting in the future?  You clearly love and understand animals, though I imagine it's really difficult where you live considering how animals are treated in general.((HUGS))

On a positive note, two of my dear friends (a married couple) who are my doggy friend Raleigh's parents adopted the two kittens that were their most recent fosters.  I knew at some point they would have a "foster fail."  They lost their sweet cat at 16 more than a year ago and have been fostering since last summer.  These two were special from the first day, so I had a sneaking suspicion they would be "the ones."  Raleigh has been around cats her whole life, so her attitude is mostly, "Okay, fine. We can play." until they annoy her, then she stands tall (all 12 lb of her) and gives them "the look."  No barking, no growling, just the look that says, "You kids are now bothering me.  Go play amongst yourselves while I nap.  I'm 12 years old, you know!"  And around and around they go.  The little one Pip, a black with white star female, decided my hair was very interesting the first time I held her.  Then she decided to explore my face.  It was pretty funny, especially because she was at a point where she wasn't much for anyone holding her except her foster parents.  My friend mentioned this right before she turned back around to see Pip nuzzled on my shoulder with her little face sniffing right against my cheek and said, "Oh, never mind."  So there's my bright side story for now.

I'll be hoping and praying that Emi finds a good home, even though it will mean you don't get to see her.  At least you would know that she is still loved.

[KayC]

Why would the people not take her with them?  If I moved I would NOT rehome Kodie!  Not unless I suddenly couldn't take care of him and had to go to a care center, and I don't foresee that any time soon!  I am so sorry you'll be missing yet another part of your community tribe.  

Panther Kitty hasn't been here for over a week.  So much for feeding him and him talking to me.  He hasn't walked on my car or slept above my carport either, I've explored the area, haven't seen him.  Neighbor has trap set but nothing's taken the bait.

It's pouring rain and turning colder again today/tomorrow, he doesn't like out in the rain.

I'm so sorry that once again you find yourself adapting to unwelcome changes.   It's hard.  It's how I felt when Joe died, and I wasn't given any prior knowledge.  I learned about it on FB.  Ugh.  You'd think since I clearly loved him but couldn't physically walk him anymore, they KNEW I loved him, you'd think they'd have given me the chance to say goodbye and love on him one last time.

 

[OldTrojan]

Nice story, Foreverhis.  It’s nice to read happy stories for a change.  Thanks for sharing.

Actually, I think if they can find a good home for Emi, she will be better off.  They don’t treat her as well as I would like.  I know someone who is considering it, but he really doesn’t want a female dog.  I'll miss her greatly.

They are going back to India, and I expect that such travel would be difficult if not impossible for a pet, even if they wanted to do so, and extremely expensive.

Good luck, Kay, with your Panther.  It’s tough with wild cats to gain trust.  Even after 9 months, Miss Kitty is still mostly wild, and raising her kittens that way.  Even though the kittens see me and mom playing, they still won’t get that near to me, and they are now 15 weeks old..

[foreverhis]

9 hours ago, KayC said:

You'd think since I clearly loved him but couldn't physically walk him anymore, they KNEW I loved him, you'd think they'd have given me the chance to say goodbye and love on him one last time.

Oh, Kay.  That is so upsetting.  I remember when you posted about it.  I was livid on your behalf.  These pets/animals/friends matter to us, even if they aren't "ours."

I have to admit to having a thought here and there about what it will be like when someday (years from now, God willing; prayers and not tempting fate) we lose Raleigh.  She's not mine, but she is mine.  I love her every bit as much as if she had been mine from day one.  I'm her Dogmother.  She will live with me if anything ever happens to her parents (again, prayers that doesn't happen and not tempting fate).  It's even a codicil to their will with funds to make sure I can take care of her without straining my moderate income--though I would do it anyway.  She's my second favorite dog of my 64 years of life.  Charlie Bear will always be my soul dog, but darn this girl is a close second. 

It makes me tear up just to think about it.  Plus, in the past 18 months, three pets in my life, including Raleigh's feline sister, have gone to the Rainbow Bridge.  One, a friend and neighbors' daughter's 11 year old rescue pit-mix (possibly McNab), just 3 weeks ago.  She was a riot, always forgetting her own strength in her excitement to see her human friends.  I learned to brace myself if she was visiting my neighbors and came barrelling down the stairs to get love, scritches, and tummy rubs.  We would chuckle about it as I planted my feet and often leaned back into the wall.  I'm so lucky I got to say goodbye to her a week or so before.  It was clear at that point that she was really starting to suffer (metastatic skin cancer), but she was as happy to see me as ever.

It's hard no matter what when we lose animals we love, whether they are ours or not.

[KayC]

We have a connection with them in our hearts.  I remember when my son says he wished I'd never met Joe!  It pained my heart to hear that.  Even though he damaged my hands so severely, I don't hold it against him, I truly believe his mind wasn't right because of the pain his owners (who wouldn't take him to the vet and get help for him), I even offered to pay, I got him on CBD oil (with their permission) and I bought it for them to get him on.  He had severe ear infections and loss of hearing because of it as well as arthritis.  I hope he knows how much I love him.  I know he didn't understand why I didn't come walk him anymore, that time was our time, his own special time, apart from the other animals.  It would break my heart when I went by there and saw his broken heart at the gate...

[KayC]

Panther Kitty visited me the last two evenings!  I fed him fish, he licked it clean.  Still won't come to me but did come closer than before last night, just a few feet away.  Kodie doesn't think he belongs here and was in the house growling, I chewed him out and told him poor Kitty doesn't have a home or a mommy who loves him or any food!  Dogs can be empathetic, I think he understood.

Good news!  My daughter's divorce went through on my husband's birthday, June 14 at 4 pm!  I am beyond ecstatic, so is she!

[John9]

7 hours ago, KayC said:

Good news!  My daughter's divorce went through on my husband's birthday, June 14 at 4 pm!  I am beyond ecstatic, so is she!

KayC,

I am glad for you and your Daughter too. As I have said, one less thing on the plate has to be a good thing. I am glad that Panther came to eat "with" you, hopefully it will become more of a habit and Kodie will come to like the company.

[KayC]

Kodie hasn't growled at him since I talked to him about him.  He was there all day yesterday, I got within a few feet this time and he ate up on the patio!  That's a plus, because it's covered and there's a porch swing with a soft blanket on it.  It was a bit mussed like he had been on it.

[OldTrojan]

Good news that the divorce is finally final, and you can move on.

 

Sounds like you making progress with Panther; I know it is tough with a wild cat.  Miss Kitty is still not really acclimated to having a home, and may never be.

 

More sadness here.  Yesterday when I was visiting Emi (stuck in her cage) and giving her the daily dog biscuit, I was talking to one of the men in the maintenance yard behind the store, He decided against adopting her, as much as he likes her, as he doesn’t want a female dog.  Her people there have not had any luck with finding a home for her, are almost ready to go back to India, and their current plan is just to open her cage and let her go feral.  She is such a sweet girl and deserves so much more.  I wish that I could take her.  Breaks my heart.  I asked him if he would feed her if I bought bags of dog food for her, and he is considering that.  It might still feel like home to her, even if her people were gone.  This is the only home that she has known since Bear found her in the trash 15 months ago when she was tiny.

[KayC]

This breaks my heart, every dog deserves a home, people who love them.  I wonder why there are no rescues there!  Obviously some people care.  What difference does it make if male or female?  I've had both!  At least females don't eke out their pee by the teaspoon on walks, they let it all out and get it over with!  That's one plus!

Panther Kitty hopped down from the porch swing last night when I opened the door, I told him it was okay, he could be there, he was listening, not quite so sure, he will realize it in time.  He is a chowhound!  I think because he never knows when food will be his last.  I realize this could get expensive if I don't start limiting him more.  No idea what he weighs but he's bigger than my other cats have been.  Maybe 14 lbs?  Kitty was 9 at her biggest, Miss Mocha was also small.  Not sure how much to feed him but I doubt as much as I have been!  He eats way more than Kodie (20 lbs).  I also realize he can supplement with mice/moles if need be, there's plenty around here.  I'm not sure if they eat squirrels or not but there's lots of those too!

My heart breaks for Emi.

Today is 17 years since my husband died June 19, 2005, Father's Day.  The love of my life..  I miss him every day.

 

[John9]

33 minutes ago, KayC said:

  No idea what he weighs but he's bigger than my other cats have been.  Maybe 14 lbs?  Kitty was 9 at her biggest, Miss Mocha was also small.  Not sure how much to feed him but I doubt as much as I have been! 

KayC,

I haven't weighed my loving wife's cats since before she died, but they are way over 14 pounds. They weigh more than the information on the websites say they should but their Father was a very large cat. And they really don't seem to eat that much and are only indoors so I know what they consume since I am the only one who feeds them.

38 minutes ago, KayC said:

Today is 17 years since my husband died June 19, 2005, Father's Day.  The love of my life..  I miss him every day.

I hope that today is not too bad for you, because if anyone knows how hard these special days can be it is you. I know that for me Father's Day is not quite the same, even though our Son is here. It was my loving wife who made it a special day, Son just does what kids do and my loving wife just had that ability to make every day special. I am only at just over 15 months but I miss my loving wife more and more each day. I know we do what we have to do, but you are so strong and I am sadly glad you are here for me and others on this journey none of us want to be on.

[KayC]

No one called, it seems they've all moved on but I will never forget, he is uppermost in my heart, always.  Didn't hear from my kids, I never do, the fact this is at Father's Day makes it all the harder as everyone is busy celebrating and living their lives.  I can't help but go back and remember, it comes to me unbidden at his death day...

[KayC]

Last night I put some food out and water and he ran off when I went out!  I feel so bad, I'm trying to show him I'm safe and it's okay to be here.  Later I saw him hiding scrunched up between the corner of the patio and the cat scratcher, I wish he'd realize the porch swing with the soft blanket is okay, a safe place for him to be in out of the weather.

[John9]

1 hour ago, KayC said:

Last night I put some food out and water and he ran off when I went out!  I feel so bad, I'm trying to show him I'm safe and it's okay to be here.  Later I saw him hiding scrunched up between the corner of the patio and the cat scratcher, I wish he'd realize the porch swing with the soft blanket is okay, a safe place for him to be in out of the weather.

KayC,

It may be that he doesn't like that the swing moves(?). I don't know if that is the case, but some of my loving wife and my cats didn't like things that moved when they jumped on them. Some didn't cared like my loving wife's cats now actually jump on her swivel chair because they seem to like that it moves.

[KayC]

You could be right but I've seen evidence he's sat on it as creases in the furry blanket, I clean it off/straighten it so I can tell if he does again.  He has been back...he scared off when I had to run the generator 15 min. (every Monday morning) but was back to eat/hide.  He was jittery yesterday...Kodie is as terrified of him as the other way around!

Last night Kodie swallowed a piece of plastic wrap, it had pizza juice/cheeses on it so smelled good, when I looked it was gone.   I tried cramming my finger down his throat to get him to vomit, I was frantic, all I got was bit, can't say as I blame him, he must have thought I'd gone plum nuts!  Walking him (aids digestion) and waiting to see if it passes, about 6" x 6", 8 3/4" at diagonal, oh how I hope/pray!!!

 

[John9]

1 hour ago, KayC said:

Last night Kodie swallowed a piece of plastic wrap, it had pizza juice/cheeses on it so smelled good, when I looked it was gone.   I tried cramming my finger down his throat to get him to vomit, I was frantic, all I got was bit, can't say as I blame him, he must have thought I'd gone plum nuts!  Walking him (aids digestion) and waiting to see if it passes, about 6" x 6", 8 3/4" at diagonal, oh how I hope/pray!!!

KayC,

I hope Kodie is okay, this advice/comment is Too little too late, BUT at my loving wife's work (VET) they used a little 3 percent hydrogen peroxide to induce vomiting when animals swallowed/ate something they shouldn't. Of course that also depended on what it was and when it was. And it is based on weight and other factors, my loving wife and I did it a couple of times with our female Chihuahua when she was guilty of eating something she shouldn't have.

[foreverhis]

9 hours ago, KayC said:

Last night Kodie swallowed a piece of plastic wrap, it had pizza juice/cheeses on it so smelled good, when I looked it was gone.   I tried cramming my finger down his throat to get him to vomit, I was frantic, all I got was bit, can't say as I blame him, he must have thought I'd gone plum nuts!  Walking him (aids digestion) and waiting to see if it passes, about 6" x 6", 8 3/4" at diagonal, oh how I hope/pray!!!

Oh no!  I'm praying for Kodie to pass it without issues.  Good grief our babies do keep us worried at times.  I'd say he thought you were plum nuts because that's exactly the way I would have reacted and it would seem bizarre to a dog. (Hugs to you both)

[KayC]

No sign of it, but he could have gone at Jazzy's, stools look like usual, no plastic, scary!

[KayC]

This morning I was on the patio after feeding Panther and he came up to me and started kneading the patio, not two feet from me, while looking me in the eyes!  Then he rolled over on his back and was definitely showing me affection!  It warmed my heart and showed me, maybe there's hope we can develop a relationship to some extent.  He is definitely showing trust/affection, amazing for a feral cat!  Haven't touched him yet, not sure I'll ever be able to or have him in the house, but we're getting somewhere, little by little.

@OldTrojan  Have you an update on Kitty?

[John9]

KayC,

I am glad that you seem to making some progress with Panther. At least there is a bit of hope. A positive sign is good right now.

[KayC]

I'm just glad he knows I care about him.  It's a sharp contrast from how he was living.  He stays on the far corner of my patio behind the cat scratcher, of underneath the patio.  He meows at me when he hears or sees me out there!  He comes when I feed him.  He's been hanging out here exclusively for about a month now.  Of course, I know he can disappear at any time, but he also knows which side his bread is buttered on!  I give him dry cat food at 6 am and 6 pm, nearly 2 cups/day now, he's bigger than I first thought, I also give him occasional treats, fish, venison, with pork fat mixed in, he loves it!

[KayC]

Panther Kitty made his first physical contact, I had cheese on my fingers and he touched his nose to it...he wasn't sure what to think, it was string cheese, so I put strings of it in his dish, after I was gone I watched out the kitchen window...he ate it.  He has beautiful round pale blue/green eyes and such thick lush fur on his tummy as well as back, I wish I could pet him, maybe someday.  For a feral cat, I'm really making strides!  He shows signs of wanting to be here with me but still scared too.  Again he showed affection towards me!  Also curious about Kodie and he vice versa.  It'll be a slow journey, but I have time.  I think he's old, he likely has bad teeth, he drops the cat food.  All I can do is provide the place and food and I spend a little time with him talking to him and showing interest in him.  He seems to like that.

[John9]

KayC,

I am glad that Panther is at least sticking around and showing some trust in you. If he is older then you are probably going to have a hard time getting him to accept Kodie. maybe more so than Kodie accepting him. Of course I am not there and I could be way off base with my comments. I hope whatever you are doing helps him and that he accepts you as a caring friend to him. Good luck.

[KayC]

Kitty took 1 2/3 years before she'd come in the house because I got Arlie, but finally decided she'd rather deal with him than the bully cats.  She wasn't feral but she was old and hadn't been around dogs.  They learned to cohabitate peacefully.

Panther Kitty was attacked by a bully cat this morning, okay, he's officially mine! I was like a mom, terrified for my kitty! He laid low for a while, in hiding, then came back to me, finished eating and is now is his corner spot, watching... He lost a lot of fur but seems to be okay.

[KayC]

Kodie went insanely nuts at 5 am...I've never heard him so spitting mad and wanting at something outside!  Likely a bear, I've had three neighbor's sightings of them this week, one just next door.  I turned on the back patio lights and stomped around, making noise (neighbors probably loved it) to scare it off, checked on Panther Kitty (I'd woken him up) and all is calm now.