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Lost My Best Friend


OldTrojan

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2 hours ago, KayC said:

I sure miss them all.

KayC,

I really get this statement, and I will always miss them ALL.

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I know what you mean by “missing them all”.  There are differences in degree, though.  Bear was special, and left a bigger hole in my heart, which I don’t think will ever heal.

When I moved in here, my landlord had a male dog, about 10 years old.  Cool guy, alpha dog and he knew it.  He hadn’t known much affection, and I always gave him a head scratch.  When he wanted it, he’d wander over and paw at my leg.  At about 14 years old, he became the shortest route to ground from some of my landlord’s wiring.  14 is very old for dogs here, since we have no vet.  I missed him greatly then, and still miss him.

Then my landlord got a little female puppy, who I played with all of the time.  She grew up, and had four litters.  My landlord gave away all of the puppies in the first litter, which was difficult since people here generally don’t want females.  He kept two from her second littler, one male and one female.  Great fun, personable dogs, who were my pals.  It is heartwarming watching puppies growing up together as playmates.  At about one year of age, some neighbors killed and ate them. I was both outraged and disconsolate.  A friend here, who was a pet lover, and I planned on visiting them for a painful lesson, but my landlord was on another island, so we decided to wait until he returned, as they were his dogs.  My landlord is 6’5’ and 220 lbs.  When he got back, he didn’t care.  They were ’just dogs”, so my friend and I skipped the visit.  I still miss them.

My landlord kept one dog from the fourth litter, a pretty golden female.  The old girl passed away prematurely shortly after.  I miss her, too.

The little female grew up, and had her own litters. My landlord gave away all of the dogs from the first two litters.

My landlord kept two dogs from the third litter.  One male and one female.  They were brindles and looked like guard dogs.  My favorite of the litter was the smartest and most adventuresome, a beautiful golden female puppy.  He gave her away.  There is a long story involved, but the short version is that she soon ran away from them and somehow came back home.  Big journey for a little puppy.  I was delighted to find her.  She and her brindle sister were later both killed by traffic.  I miss them both, especially the golden girl.  The remaining male I named Buddy, and he was intentionally killed by my landlord at age two.  I miss him terribly, as we were good pals, and his death was unnecessary.

Momma Dog had a fourth litter, which was Bear’s.  My landlord killed the three female puppies, rather than try to find homes, and then left for his annual trip home (Palm Springs).  I took care of the four males, and three disappeared overnight from their wooden enclosure where I kept them.  My landlord had told people to come take puppies,  which was fine, but they should have told me.  Bear was supposed to go home with the people house-sitting for my landlord, but they did not take him, so he stayed here.  Sweet old Momma was killed by a negligent store employee here 11 months ago.

Quite few dogs to miss, and some sad stories.  But Bear took a piece of my soul with him.

Kay

I read your Memories of Arlie.  He was a beautiful guy!  This was a wonderful emotional tribute to a wonderful and very special dog.  You had me crying over a dog that I do not know.

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13 hours ago, OldTrojan said:

I know what you mean by “missing them all”.  There are differences in degree, though.  Bear was special, and left a bigger hole in my heart, which I don’t think will ever heal.

OldTrojan,

I am not trying to make "less" of your loss. I meant that I am missing "everyone" that I have lost especially my loving wife and my dogs because in each way they were all special to us because they each had unique traits and they were all here together at the same time. I really do understand your connection to Bear and I am also sorry for all of the other losses of the "pups" that were involved in your life. I know that all of our grief is personal so please don't take offense if I say something that doesn't quite come across the correct way. I am just trying to offer my story and my grieving process and maybe it can help someone to process their own, I know that some of what I have read has helped me a little. Again I am sorry if I offended you.

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16 hours ago, OldTrojan said:

There are differences in degree, though.  Bear was special, and left a bigger hole in my heart

That was my Arlie.  But it's been two years Jan. 6 since losing Kitty and still missing her, it was hard with Missy Mocha too, she was so special.  But Arlie was everything and it was such a shock to learn he had inoperable cancer and his liver was shutting down.  I did well to get two more months ten days with him.  Anything beyond that would have been inhumane, he suffered enough.  They try so hard for our sakes, they try not to show their pain, but it was there.  I love him to pieces and would give anything to have him back.  Same with my husband.  All these years that doesn't lessen.

17 hours ago, OldTrojan said:

At about one year of age, some neighbors killed and ate them.

OMG!  This shocked and infuriated me!  I've heard of that happening in China or VietNam but not anywhere else!  It sickens me...there should be a hot bed in hell...

17 hours ago, OldTrojan said:

My landlord killed the three female puppies, rather than try to find homes

I'm glad that's illegal here.  Just sickens me.  :(

17 hours ago, OldTrojan said:

You had me crying over a dog that I do not know.

I read it all yesterday again...couldn't stop.  I wish I'd put them in order but posted as things came to mind and my mind's not sequential apparently.  He was one of a kind...

For someone who loves dogs as you do, it's got to be heartrending to watch...

John, when I lost Arlie 14 years after my husband died, it felt like that all over again...we were so close, he was the perfect dog for me, my companion and best friend, and part of it was I am so alone so he was my everything just as my husband had been, they were so special.  Some can't understand feeling this strongly about a dog, but I do, I don't compare losses but these two stand out head (and paws) above all others in my life.  It was a shock, it is something you're never the same again, I know you know...

 

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Hi John – I am sorry if anything that I wrote appeared to be in response to offense.  That is absolutely not the case.  That’s not what we do here.  We have all suffered terrible losses and suffered the resulting grief.  Sharing our stories is a help to all.  You and Kay commented that you miss all of your pets, and I just added the sad stories of our dogs here.  Not one died of natural causes, and all but the electrocuted 14 year-old dog passed away prematurely.  I miss them all.  The emotions of having dogs eaten can’t be described.  Some are special, though, like Arlie for Kay or Bear for me, but that does not diminish the sense of loss for the others.  Please be assured that you said nothing that could cause offense; quite the contrary.

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19 hours ago, OldTrojan said:

The emotions of having dogs eaten can’t be described.

I wouldn't want to ever see/hear of that, I can't imagine, the best animal that ever was, goes to show why I love dogs even more than people.  

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KayC,

I said before that I would walk into my friends house and ask him if I had told him lately that I hate people. And there used to be shirts that said something about loving your animals more than people also. Don't remember the quote but their love is unconditional isn't it. I had said before that my loving wife having worked at the Veterinary clinic since 1989 had seen and heard some really bad "stuff" and it bothered her whenever something would be on the news about any animal being hurt or mistreated even if the outcome was favorable. It was hard for her because she was very emotional and then when all of our animals were dying so closely together it was really bad for both of us and now with all of MY issues......

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I had nightmares from this.  The horror of it was overwhelming.  I still wanted to inflict retribution, but my friend (a tough guy – I am not) convinced me that without my landlord as the dog owner we should not act.

John, I know what you mean.  Dogs are better than most people.

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23 hours ago, John9 said:

Don't remember the quote but their love is unconditional isn't it

Yes, they are amazing.  Whenever I hurt myself, Kodie comes and shows love and concern towards me, he's like a service dog by nature.  Much more caring than people.

16 hours ago, OldTrojan said:

Dogs are better than most people.

Agreed.  We stand to learn so much from them.  I think dog abusers should be burned at the stake.  Just saying.  The gov't wouldn't have to pay me to light the match.  Instead the laws treat them as "property" even depreciating their purchase price.  Are you kidding me!  Anyone who'd abuse a dog should be on high alert for abusing children, IMO.

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Another Wednesday came and went.  It wasn’t as bad as the others, and I feel like I am finally turning a corner on the overwhelming grief that has simply ruined my life, and will live with a lesser level of grief.  I’ll always have a huge hole in my heart, and will never be “normal” again, but am finally moving in the right direction.  I still have a very long way to go.  This wouldn’t have improved without the support from everyone here.  Thanks so much for all of the helpful conversations.

One thing that probably helped is that I finally moved his bed from my kitchen floor, where it accentuated to me all day that he was gone.  His towel was on top.  For some reason he loved that specific towel, and as much as he hated baths, he got really excited when I toweled him off with that towel.  Same if we got caught in the rain and I’d dry him when we got back.  The towel will never be used for anything else.  The “bed” has strong memories.  It’s my old king size mattress pad folded in quarters, so it as very soft, and wrapped in an old sheet. Made a great dog bed.  I originally made this up for sweet old MommaDog after her surgery.  In January of last year, almost two years ago, there was a visiting group of vets.  Surprisingly my landlord agreed to take the dogs in his truck to see them, since my car had died.  We took the boys in the morning, since Mom knew something was up and was hiding.  We caught her in the afternoon, and then took her.  They had all of their shots, the boys were neutered, and Momma spayed.  Momma didn’t do very well after the surgery.  When she was just coming out of anesthesia in a room full of dogs post-surgery, the vet told us that we could take her.  But she was still wobbly and her back legs weren’t working well, so my landlord, true to form, grabbed her collar and started dragging her along the floor, right on her new incision.  Lots of outrage to that in the room.  I rushed over and picked her up, upside down like a baby, to spare injury to the wound.  She was only 35 pounds.  The vet told us to keep her inside for a few days, but my landlord didn’t want her in his place downstairs, and she couldn’t go to mine as it’s on the second floor, and she shouldn’t do such exercise.  So my landlord tied her up downstairs to prevent her from going under her favorite container in the dirt, and I made up the bed for her for the first time.  She had been in heat just before the vet visit, and there were several male dogs coming around, so I took my sleeping bag downstairs and slept next to her for three nights.  I don’t think that she slept much, as she was usually awake when I looked,  so guessed that she was in pain. I changed her sheet every day, since her wound was still oozing a bit (as the vet said that it would).  She wasn’t eating much, so I tried some expensive canned meaty dog food, which she would nibble at.  She stayed tied up like that to try and keep her wound a little clean, for a week.  She was not back to eating normally (even considering that she would have a reduced appetite due to the surgery) for a couple of weeks, and didn’t get her usual energy back for longer.

The bed became Bear’s after the vet stationed here saved his life and he became “my dog”.  Odd dog, in that he often like napping with his head out on my top step, but his body inside.  I started leaving the door open to accommodate him.  Momma would wander in and out, especially when she wanted to nap, as she had a favorite spot in the back of my apartment where it’s breezy.  Although, I sometimes had to chase her off of my bed.

Sorry; I got overly nostalgic here thinking about the bed.

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OldTrojan,

There is no need to apologize about having your memories, I understand the triggers of "things". When I had to have our last Chihuahua euthanized I had to remove all of the dog items because it was too much. My loving wife and I always had dogs for the entire 35 years we were together and there were always beds and blankets and toys everywhere. It is one of the things making my grieving so hard as I have said, too much death and too soon. I literally lost my entire world and my life in the last 2 years and it just hurts so much. I am glad that you might be not as overwhelmed with the grief. I haven't had a break like that but I keep "hoping". I do like that the stories of Bear keep him in your heart and mind and that is a good thing. The towel story seems to be almost something that dogs just do and ours didn't like baths either but drying after the rain sure wound them up.

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Wow, I'm still astounded by your landlord, caught myself holding my breath.  I would have done as you did and slept next to her.  You are a natural dog person.  You understand them and feel for them.  

Yesterday I visited Arlie's dog house, I still fill his water bowl, even though Kodie is never near it, and I was telling Arlie I wish I could have saved his blankets, but there's a new one for him...his blankets smelled of cancer, had they just had his smell I would have kept them forever.  It took a year or so for that smell to go away on the carpet where he laid.  I didn't know what it was until he was diagnosed, I had been puzzled by it.

It seems the fence, pen, doghouse is all a shrine to Arlie.  Kodie is seldom in our yard, I take him for walks and to play with Jazzy every day, he digs holes in our yard so I can't leave him unattended.

Funny, Kodie never felt attachment to the bath towel, neither did Arlie (he had a beach towel as he was so big).  They just wanted free to shake!  ...and get their treat afterwards.

Yes, a certain amount we just live with.

My sister told me she stumbled upon my "Memories of Kitty" thread and read it all.  She hasn't seen my "Memories of Arlie" or "Living with Loss."

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John, thanks for understanding.  You have been through far more than I.  When I say that I seem to be improving, I am perhaps 30% of “normal”, rather than 0-10% as has been the case.  I’m headed toward 40%, perhaps. I still cry at certain things (and always when I visit him), but no longer the uncontrollable sobbing.  I miss him beyond words, and I expect that I always will, and my days, and heart, are very empty.  As Gary said, I am changed forever, and can’t go back to what I was before.

One of the things that I read early on in this awful grief journey was advice from a rabbi to one of his congregants who was suffering the loss of a loved dog.  A short version of a fairly long article that he wrote asked if, to alleviate the pain of grief, his congregant would be willing to give up all of the love of their lives together.  I doubt that anyone would say that.  I think of this often.  I guess that grief is a painful cost of love.

Kay, I think that is great that you can keep Arlie’s area as a shrine of sorts.  This is still too painful for me.  I had to take Bear’s picture from my screensaver, as too painful when booting up and shutting down.  Early morning and bedtime were special times for us. I should have moved his bed long ago rather than looking at it so many times a day. 

This morning on “our walk” I realized that it has been 10-12 days since I have seen my favorite dog at the courthouse lawn.  This usually means a traffic fatality.  There have been so many nice dogs lost to traffic.  She is (or was) a sweet dog who loved Bear.  She’d be about one year old, I think.  We first saw her as a tiny puppy who was immediately infatuated with Bear.  She had to jump up to try and lick his face.  Small as she was as a puppy, she sometimes followed us home.  She liked to curl up with Bear to nap.  My landlord didn’t want other dogs here, and would kick her out when he saw her.  I’d carry her (in one hand as a puppy) back to the courthouse so that she wouldn’t have the traffic risk.  I am so saddened at so many of these losses.

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I don't see how you bear living where you do, where people don't seem to regards a dog's life and value.  It seems you live among the greatest grief bearing place in the world for a dog lover.  I am so sorry that yet another sweet pup is missing from your life, heart, and soul.  

I'd love to erect a sign "Arlie's Fence" in his memory, I've always wanted one, I had it built for HIM!  Perhaps I can commission my neighbor, but I don't know if he has a way to etch the writing on it, it can be primitive/crude, but I want it etched, not painted.  I'll have to talk to him about it, no hurry, it's been 2 1/2 years, but I would like it made.

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12 hours ago, OldTrojan said:

One of the things that I read early on in this awful grief journey was advice from a rabbi to one of his congregants who was suffering the loss of a loved dog.  A short version of a fairly long article that he wrote asked if, to alleviate the pain of grief, his congregant would be willing to give up all of the love of their lives together.  I doubt that anyone would say that.  I think of this often.  I guess that grief is a painful cost of love.

OldTrojan,

I have said and maybe I read it somewhere first, but he goes anyway. To know love is to risk loss, or to risk love is to know loss. All I know is you are correct and I wouldn't give up any of the time I had with any of our pets and definitely wouldn't give up any of the time with my loving wife. Would I change certain things, that is something that is always "looping" in my head but in all honesty I know I can't and therefore I feel I wouldn't change anything because I wouldn't be able to.

1 hour ago, KayC said:

I'd love to erect a sign "Arlie's Fence" in his memory, I've always wanted one, I had it built for HIM! 

KayC,

I hope you are able to have the sign done exactly as you picture it in your mind ans have that tribute. I was shoveling the snow yesterday from the driveway and was saddened by seeing a sign my loving wife had drawn about "snake crossing" and the fact it is almost completely faded and washed away, so I understand you wanting it not to be painted because if not done correctly it won't last and you will be saddened like I am now. These are the things that seem to really hurt because it was not going to be an issue she would just do another one and now she can't.

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I wonder if you couldn't find someone to restore it?  Those little things mean so much...

You are so right about love meaning risking, I had a friend who was contemplating remarrying and was worried if she did she'd lose him.  I told her not to live in fear but to go for it and savor each moment they have together and if/when one of them is gone, the other can know they "went for it" and reaped the rewards.  They have now been happily married 6 1/2 years and are weathering the storms and enjoying each other to the fullest!  I am so glad for both of them, and so glad she made that leap.

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On 11/29/2021 at 3:16 AM, OldTrojan said:

One of the things that I read early on in this awful grief journey was advice from a rabbi to one of his congregants who was suffering the loss of a loved dog.  A short version of a fairly long article that he wrote asked if, to alleviate the pain of grief, his congregant would be willing to give up all of the love of their lives together.  I doubt that anyone would say that.  I think of this often.  I guess that grief is a painful cost of love.

Phil 

I really like this. I guess it shows we can't have everything, forever, and must change our relationship to how it is now, and that this is only a temporary separation. 

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KayC,

Thank you for the article. As I have said before I appreciate any help trying to make my way through the losses of "our" pets and the other losses I have had too. I read, I try to process it, I "file" it and maybe refer back to it in my broken mind (brain). But I am trying to make it everyday and it is hard.

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Thank you for that article KayC. I love how it says about having a fluid, changing and long-term relationship with those now on the other side. This is such a huge topic I can see. All the variables, years, people, places. Yet to see this talked about is very encouraging. To my mind the person or companion needs to be talked about, not as past tense, but as present and future too. We are perhaps not good with this, people may not like that we do this. But why should we not. I talk to Goldie likes he's here, I take him out. The thing is I know he's here, he's been seen, I've had dreams and signs. It's just our relationship is a little different now. 

Thank you for the article, it has given me a lot to think about. 

Gary 

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Knowing they are "still there" but how we interact with this has changed, has helped me..I no longer lay in my husband's arms, I know longer put my arms around Arlie's big body and nestle with him nor can I kiss he sweet face, but I do talk to him.  I keep the spot where he's buried free of branches, etc. as a way of honoring him, a place to come to, to "visit him" even though I know with my head his spirit isn't there, just the decayed body.  Perhaps he is in the wind, I talk to him, sometimes on my walks, sometimes aloud, sometimes in my thoughts, but I know the love carries through the universe, wherever he is.  He hears me.  It is not nothingness on his end, but rather I view it as something surpassed, no longer bound by a physical body, but not needing it.  The Bible says we'll get a new body, I believe that, not sure how long we wait for it, but it will all come together and we'll be together again, in whatever form that shapes into.  And for George, we will too, the Bible says in heaven there'll be no marriage, that's impossible for my mind to conceive, this is all we've ever known...here...but whatever it looks like, I trust God to work it all out in everyone's best interest and well being, and if that seems backwards to our finite minds, it's because our minds are not as great as His!  Now we see in part, then we shall see the whole!

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29 minutes ago, KayC said:

the Bible says in heaven there'll be no marriage, that's impossible for my mind to conceive, this is all we've ever known...here...but whatever it looks like, I trust God to work it all out in everyone's best interest and well being, and if that seems backwards to our finite minds, it's because our minds are not as great as His!  Now we see in part, then we shall see the whole!

KayC,

I again will say I sure don't know anything about anything least of all what will wait for me in Heaven (if I get there) I just hope I can have at least a part of what I had with my loving wife here on earth. I have said it wouldn't SEEM like Heaven to me if I am not with my loving wife but as you say God knows best. I just know that this time without my loving wife is so seemingly endless even though I am nowhere near as long as you and your journey.

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I think we'll know people and have memories of them and I imagine still feeling love/care for them, but how God works all this out IDK.  We want things to continue as they were, I can't imagine not being George's "Little One" anymore.  Or Arlie's mom.  I think he will still remember me that way.

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2 hours ago, KayC said:

I think we'll know people and have memories of them and I imagine still feeling love/care for them, but how God works all this out IDK.  We want things to continue as they were, I can't imagine not being George's "Little One" anymore.  Or Arlie's mom.  I think he will still remember me that way.

KayC,

Again I say those are some of the thoughts that keep me going. I surely don't claim any knowledge about Heaven but one can hope, RIGHT.

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"It seems you live among the greatest grief bearing place in the world for a dog lover."

Hi Kay:

Yes, It is emotionally stressful when nice dogs from the neighborhood disappear, presumed dead, probably from traffic.  A few are special, though, like the wonderful little girl who we just lost (presumably).  About eight months ago we lost another favorite, who Bear liked to play with more than the others, and who I liked more than the others.  Great friendly personality, and obviously poorly cared for by his people.  He had short white hair, and I could always see big grey blood-bloated ticks sticking up in his short  fur.  After I gained some trust from him, I would remove as many as I could, which his people weren’t doing.  He also had a collar that was so tight that he had an indentation in his neck.  I assumed that they put it on when he was smaller, but never adjusted it as he grew.  I tried to adjust it one day, and found it wired closed.  The next day I brought scissors and cut it off.  Every day I would gently massage his neck, which he enjoyed.  About four months later, he, too disappeared, which bothered me greatly.  Sad here, often, as the locals treat their dogs so poorly.

 

Kay and Gary:

I’m glad that I am not the only one who talks to his departed dog.  It is helpful to hear this.  I talk to him at his grave, of course, but I also talk to him when on “our walk” in the morning, and always have his leash with me.  I sometimes almost feel as if he is there.  I sometimes talk to him at other times, especially when I miss him painfully.  I cry often, knowing that he is not there, though, but not as much as before.

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32 minutes ago, OldTrojan said:

I cry often, knowing that he is not there, though, but not as much as before.

OldTrojan,

I am coming up on a year when we had to have our female Chihuahua euthanized due to her congestive heart failure causing her to not being able to breathe well. With this last 9 months I don't know how I will do when that date comes up but I may not do well, not looking forward to that. I don't know how people like the "owners" of the dogs where you live can even look at themselves in the mirror for the treatment you describe of the dogs. It hurts to hear what you talk about but I understand the anger you feel sometimes too. I don't know what I would do if I saw it but since you are in a different country the attitude they have is what they consider "normal" I guess and "we" are the ones with the problem. I hope the missing dog is okay but as you say it probably isn't. My heart aches for all of the pain.

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Phil, I'm glad you love and care for dogs, even those not your own.  This is how I felt about Joe and my heart still aches inside when I go by his place.  No one ever brushed him but me or cleaned his ears (thick black goo...infection...no wonder he can't hear!)  No one takes him to the vet.  I got him on CBD oil (with owner's permission) and it immediately made a difference in his ability to walk without limping.  He didn't like dog treats so I'd buy sausage, cut it up, keep it in the freezer, every day would take some for him when I walked him.  I can't walk him anymore because he injured me so badly biting and yanking, plus he attacked Kodie when he was a 4 1/2 lb pup.  He's very jealous of Kodie, he sees me as his person.  I know he's heartbroken...so am I.  I almost adopted him but for the biting.
I'm glad you cut the collar off!  AND got ticks off him!  Do they have no humane society or laws there on treatment of dogs?  It's horrific.  :(

Kodie is used to me talking about and to Arlie.  I even talk to Kitty.  It took me years to get used to losing Missy Mocha.  She disappeared 5 1/2 years ago, I assume a cougar got her.

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Hi Kay:

Yes, I’m a dog person.  If, at the end of the day I have elicited a happy face and a tail wag, I feel that I have accomplished something.  No, no humane society here, or many people who would want one.  No applicable laws, which probably would not be enforced, anyway.

Complications with animals here.  There is a nice old geriatric momma dog who has been hanging out at the store where Marcus and Emi live.  She is one of 6-7 dogs that an irresponsible owner nearby does not adequately care for.  Most of them are nasty dogs that fight, and were problems for our MommaDog, Buddy and Bear. Marcus likes the old girl and shares his territory.  The people there feed her when they feed Emi, and also feed Marcus.  I have always been nice to the old girl, who has had a zillion puppies; I pick ticks off of her, give her back rubs.  I give her treats when I give them to Marcus and Emi. I might be the first person to treat her nicely this way.  For the last week, she and Marcus have gotten in the habit of following me home after my “Bear walk” in the morning, which is off of his usual territory.  She spends much of her day on my top step now rather than leave to go back to the store when Marcus does, and seems to have decided that I am her person and follows me around.  I like her, but don’t want to feel responsible for the old girl, who, like so many dogs here, seems to crave the human affection not provided by local dog owners.  She shouldn’t get in the habit of thinking of this as home, to hang out.  My landlord is back in the States, but when he returns (which may be difficult due to covid) he’ll chase her away as he does with all other dogs.  Going home will screw up his IRS expat tax status, so he’s going to be grumpy, although I don’t expect him to be honest with the IRS.  The IRS is a problem for all expats who are working.

Complicating this is a cute young cat who has been hanging out here for a few weeks, probably without another home.  There is so much of that here.  She was very skittish, and stayed away from me and the others here.  I’m not a cat person, but one day I felt sorry for her, hearing her cry, and put some food out.  She ate it, while keeping a wary eye.  So, the next day I went to the store and bought some proper canned cat food, and she has been happily eating daily, and now thinks that I am OK.  She’s now friendly and makes happy sounds when I pet her.  I don’t let her in the apartment, as that is sort of crossing the line where I become a cat daddy and accept real responsibility, which I don’t want to do.  The problem is that Marcus and the old momma dog coming around and scaring the poor little thing.  She was gone all day yesterday after the dogs came, but returned after they left.  She has found a place here where she likes to sleep.

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Last night on Inside Edition they showed a dog wagging its tail, it's owner got it very excited!  It's whole hind end was a waggling, wiggle-butt!  So adorable to see their exuberance!

So does no one there have fenced yards for their dogs?  It doesn't seem like they protect them very much!

OMG, people here would adopt and take care of her!  Although many idiots adopted pets during the pandemic and have now returned them to the shelters.  :angry:  I have never done that!  I came close to adopting Jackson and Joe but did not as they bit me...Jackson four times in one day, Joe twice in ten months (plus a severe jerk injury to my hand).  I can't have a vicious dog.  My son had to rehome Enzo after he bit me, he's in his fifth home now, one year old.  it'll take someone committed to dog training, etc. to keep him.  Beautiful dog but vicious.  I don't know what in his background made him that way as Huskies usually are not.

I hope your landlord doesn't cause a problem to the cat hanging around, gosh, they all need loving and food!  If you're not bringing her inside I don't see what the problem would be.  I once had a cat that caught a bat!  She was vaccinated so didn't get rabies.  I hated to see it though, bats are adorable and help us combat yellowjacket overpopulation...yellow jackets are aggressive (and I'm allergic).  I've seen bat's faces up close (peering through car window at me) and they are the sweetest looking goofy faces!

So the landlord is originally American?  If he stays six months he has to pay taxes here?

 

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2 hours ago, KayC said:

Although many idiots adopted pets during the pandemic and have now returned them to the shelters.  :angry:  I have never done that! 

KayC,

That was why even after the Humane society failed to tell us our Catahoula was deaf and although it was only 2 days we had bonded with him and couldn't give him up. It would tear me up to see what is happening where OldTrojan lives and it would tear my loving wife up to hear it and she would always say "I don't want to hear it or see it" because of what she had to see at the Veterinarian Clinic. Sadly there are too many people with the attitude it is just an animal and.......

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America’s tax laws are a ridiculous mess, enacted by shameless politicians of both parties to reward favorite donors and special interest groups.  It needs complete revision, which neither party is likely to advocate and give up the perks that they have enacted over the years.  It really angers me.  On the subject at hand, the US is the only first world country that taxes its citizens and corporations on income earned outside of the country.  Only a few third world countries do, and as I recall they are countries like Eritrea and Yemen.

Qualified expatriate citizens do get an exclusion for some earned income.  I don’t know what it is today, but when I quit working five years ago, it was $90k.  For those lucky enough to be earning more, the excess is taxable.  One of the criteria to qualify is residence outside the US, and expats are allowed only 30 days per year in the US to qualify.  So, my landlord does not qualify for 2021.  I’m sure that he will perjure himself on his tax form, though.

There is no exclusion for US corporations, though.   As I understand it, the profits earned outside the US are not taxable if they remain outside of the US.  Foolish policy that deprives the US of capital.  There are many good reasons why no other country has such a policy.

There is only one person here that I know of here who has a fenced yard for his dogs, and he has a pack of several.  He’s American, and is the man who offered to take in Buddy before my landlord killed him.  I often think of Buddy, and that I could be visiting him and taking him for walks.  I’ll never forgive this.

MommaDog used to wag her whole rear-end when we played first thing in the morning.  I miss her so.  Last Friday was the one year anniversary; it was a very difficult day for me.  John has such an anniversary coming up, and I advise, like I did, for several days before thinking about the rabbi’s advice about the love in our relationship.  I think that it helped.

My landlord will have no problem with the cat.  I hope that she stays here; she seems to have really settled in, visiting dogs notwithstanding. She has her own food bowl and water bowl on the landing of my stairs, where she now likes to hang out rather than hiding under a container.  My apartment is connected by a couple of 2”x4”s to the container next door that is my landlord’s office. She likes sleeping on its roof (connected by the 2x4’s to me), under the added angled roofing tin for the water catchment.  Very safe for her there. She really wants to come inside with me. I am really having problems trying to prevent Marcus and the old momma dog from coming back here.  The poor old girl at her advanced age finally has someone being nice to her (me) and she wants to be back here where I am. When I first moved in here, my landlord tried to get a cat to stay here to counter rats, which are a problem on the island.  He tried three cats, but he did not treat them well (like his dogs) and all three ended up running away.

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OldTrojan,

Thanks for the "tip" hope I don't have to claim it on my taxes (haha) The tax laws here are not the only laws screwed up here. But that is a dark hole I don't want to go down. Animals are smarter in many ways than us dumb humans and if they aren't treated right they will leave (if they can) so if the landlord is mean why would they stick around. As I have said just about everything makes things worse now, the day of the week, the weather, anniversary of a death, and now the Holidays are here and that is another sadness I am not able to handle, but I am still here trying to get through it until I can be with my wife again and our pets if that is how it works I don't know anything.

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I'm afraid you are so right about the US...it's been disheartening in years of late to learn that everything they taught us in school was a lie...from "Columbus discovered America" (umm, there were already people living here!  That was kind of a misphrasing.) to how they swindled the Native Americans (my husband was and the US "failed to recognize his tribe"...their way of getting out of treating them fairly and squarely)...to the whole political self-interest/mess!  I re-registered for Independent because of it.  Sadly, I know of no perfect country but either it's gotten way worse or I've just learned a helluva lot more!  At least (so far) we have the right to complain about it, for all the good it does.

I'm glad the kitty will be safe hanging out there.  I wish a kitty would show up here...I saw a cat's prints all over my car in the carport yesterday, my heart fluttered, that's how I got Miss Mocha!  But I haven't seen any sign of one around...

Snow coming Wednesday night on, no end in sight, no idea how much, probably enough to mess up my plans to see my granddaughter's Nutcracker ballet and upcoming doctor's appts.  How come doctors don't do anything until winter when I'm unable to travel?!

 

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1 hour ago, KayC said:

I'm glad the kitty will be safe hanging out there.  I wish a kitty would show up here...I saw a cat's prints all over my car in the carport yesterday, my heart fluttered, that's how I got Miss Mocha!  But I haven't seen any sign of one around...

Snow coming Wednesday night on, no end in sight, no idea how much, probably enough to mess up my plans to see my granddaughter's Nutcracker ballet and upcoming doctor's appts.  How come doctors don't do anything until winter when I'm unable to travel?!

KayC,

Maybe the "footprints" are a visit from Miss Mocha, I am going to say that the Doctor situation might be similar to what the "good" sister went through and it had to deal with insurance and availability of limited appointments. I am not saying I am right but like everything you mentioned the healthcare system is broken too. Hoping you are able to make both the appointments and the ballet.

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Hi Kay:

Cat prints on the car – poor thing may be out in the weather when snow moves in.  There are many homeless dogs and cats here, but at least the weather is always warm.  I feel sorry for them nonetheless.  I don’t know how the new cat here lived before wandering into our area.  She may have a safe place, nutritious food and back scratches for the first time.  She is not very big, and I don’t know if she is just a small cat, or a young one still growing.  I hope that you are fortunate again to have cat wander into your life like Miss Mocha, if that is what you wish for.

She’s settled in, and anticipates meal time now that it is regular, and meows at me to feed her.   She now really wants attention.  I visit her outside at least once an hour.  She spends time on my stairs, the stair landing, or the covered roof next door.  I haven’t seen her downstairs where she first came a month ago and was hiding under the building.  When she sees me she hurries over for her back scratch.  When I leave, she walks in front of me on the stairs as if the impede my leaving and I have to avoid stepping on her or tripping over her.  She has socialized well to being around a human, but in her past life she may have had a human relationship.  It was raining today, so I didn’t have to deal with the dog issue when Marcus and the old momma dog want to come back here after I visit them on my daily “Bear walk”.  It’s really hard to dissuade them, especially the old girl, who has finally found some affection late in life.  I feel bad chasing her away for the cat’s benefit.  The old girl would like to hang out back here on my top step with me, but the store with Marcus is still a good place for her.  Two days ago it took eight attempts to walk home before I could convince her to stay at the store.  Poor girl, I had to really give her pushes for her to understand, and she looked so sad..

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No to the ballet for sure as I'd be gone at least eight hours with Kodie and cannot count on being able to get home even if I could get out!  Predicting 7 1/2 inches Thursday, no end in sight.  John, I'd love to think it was a visit from Missy Mocha but I fear it's another Kitty seeking shelter, just haven't seen any sign of them...yet.  Could be a feral cat or a neighbor's.  I changed my haircut to tomorrow as doubt I can make it next week.

Our health care is extremely broken, my sister tried to make an appt for my doctor's office and they scheduled her a month out!  For a PCP that's really bad.  My mysterious tongue/throat issue may have to wait until Spring now, still haven't heard from the gastroenterologist for an appt.  They schedule so far out and I can't count on the roads being passable when the time comes, not this time of year, esp. w/o 4WD.  I've lived with it a year come Christmas.  I have another medical issue will bring up w/dermatologist IF I can get to my appt. in January.  Now she's moved even further away...sigh.

My Autumn and Kitty were both small (nine pounds at their biggest) but alas Kitty weighed half that when she died.  She was 25 though.  My mom lost a lot off weight the last couple of years (dementia), getting down to 60-70 lbs.  

All of the cats in the rescue state no other pets.  My experience is they can adjust but alas they have record of Kodie so would not adopt out to me.  I'd rather have a young adult (or even older one) than a kitten, I think they'd do better with him.

Being as I have not had to "look" for a cat before, I'm waiting for one to pick me/here...

Phil, have you given her a name yet?  You know she's yours, whether she can come inside or not.  I wish your landlord wasn't such a stickler.

16 hours ago, OldTrojan said:

Poor girl, I had to really give her pushes for her to understand, and she looked so sad.

Oh my gosh, this must have cut you to the quick!  Kind of like when Joe (chow) looks broken hearted at his gate as I walk by with Kodie.  :(

 

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Hi Kay:

No, I haven’t named her, yet.  I’ve called her Cat, Little Girl, Critter, Miss Kitty (I’m old enough to remember Gunsmoke on TV) and some other names.  Unlike dogs, I don’t think cats recognize names, or care.  I should give her a name, I guess.

It is not my landlord that keeps her outside.  He does not even know about her.  This is my own hesitancy.  If I turn her into an inside cat, she’ll need a litterbox and a bed to be in here with me  This is an escalation to being a pet dad again, and I am not yet ready to do this, after Bear.  Maybe I never will.  Now I’m feeding her and playing with as sort of a visitor, even though she’s settled in now outside, and probably thinks of this as home despite some dog intrusions. 

When I was ready for today’s “Bear walk” and opened the door at 7, I found our old dog friend waiting on my top step.  This is the guy who has been coming to play with our dogs (and me) for about five years.  He used to come every day, but now I don’t think he is a neighbor anymore, and only comes 1-2 times a week. The cat was on her perch on the 2x4 that connects my apt with the office next door, and not amused.  When he shows up and walks with me, I can’t visit Emi and Marcus, as Marcus doesn’t like him.  When I came back home from the walk, I had to chase him away.  His favorite spot was my top step, with Bear on the landing below.  He was Bear’s favorite pal.

I missed Emi and Marcus yesterday due to rain, and visited them an hour late this morning after my other dog friend reluctantly left.  Marcus and the old momma dog wanted to come home with me again as usual the last few weeks.  Marcus is good at taking a hint when I shoo him way from here, but the old girl is persistent and keeps following me.  Yes, Kay, this really tears me up to chase her away.  It took 20 minutes and several attempts this morning to keep pushing her back at the store to stop her.  She, too, likes to lounge on my top step.  Pre-cat, I felt good providing affection to her, finally, late in her life, and letting her hang out back here.  It saddens me so much to prevent her from coming back here to enjoy her late years, since her owner doesn’t care.

I hope that you can work around weather and get doctor appointments resolved.  I know how frustrating that is.

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My cats all knew their names.  Kitty was called Mama Kitty before I got her because she populated the trailer court in Portland OR where she came from, but I shortened it to Kitty, she was no longer a mama and as someone had crudely fixed her....she could no longer.  She knew her name.  It helps them to come when you call them or to know you are talking to them.  Haha, I almost adopted one yesterday!  I found one that was friendly, loving (saw a video of it), about four years old, good with dogs (hard to find), pure orange tabby, I've always wanted one, like peek-a-boo, the feral cat I fed for a year.  Trouble is, no one at Greenhill would answer the phone or make an appt. and the msg just said first come, first served...it's nearly a two hour drive one way when it might already be gone???  Nope...will wait for "my cat" to find me...been waiting two years.  The rescues are a pain to deal with, I could share some horror stories from my past dealings with them.  I need one to keep mice out and they add a bit of sass to the place!  I miss Kitty.

I'm sorry you missed your furry friends.  I do understand your pain, I live with it too when I see Joe pining for me.  :(

 

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Hi Kay:

I’ve settled on Miss Kitty as a name, in deference to Gunsmoke.  She’d be described as an orange tabby, I think.  Pretty cat.  I put out fresh water for her in her bowl twice a day as I did with Bear, but she doesn’t seem to be drinking much, if anything.  What is normal for a cat?  I’m still experimenting with how much to feed her, as I have no idea what she weighs to fit in the charts.

I’m surprised that the rescue organizations you have been contacting have been unresponsive, as they seem to be such motivated people for helping animals.

There is such sadness for me with the conflict with nice dog friends and the now-resident cat.  Geriatric momma dog wants to come back here with me every day.  She has been such a sad dog it pains me to have to keep pushing her away with her persistent attempts.  It is so rare to see her wag her tail in her sad life, but she does when she sees me and tries to follow.  This morning our friendly neighborhood dog whose been coming by for five years showed up again on my top stair, and I hated to chase him away, too.  Miss Kitty was unhappy on her perch looking down at him.  He doesn’t have much kindness in his life, either.  I’m too much of a soft touch about dogs, I guess.

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OldTrojan,

I am so sorry that there is a conflict because it seems like you have enough love to go around for all of the animals. I know from our experiences under the "proper" conditions cats and dogs can do quite well together. As I said we had many of both in the 35 years we were together, big dogs and small cats. I know older animals are more "set" in there ways and outdoor animals have usually had to learn who not to trust in the animal world. I would much rather be around most animals than most people any day. I hope that momma dog at least enjoys the petting and scratching you give her for as long as she is around. It is really a shame that more people around you aren't as caring as you are about the animals.

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Would be that the world had more caring for animals as you do!

I don't know what's normal for a cat to consume in water but they drink so daintily, I wouldn't worry, I don't think they consume a LOT but just providing it there, she'll partake when she wants/needs it.  I think dogs consume a lot more.

I have not had good experiences with rescues, the last one I adopted from lied to me about the dog Jackson, he was vicious because of his background and they totally lied about itt upfront!  He bit me four times, leaving my ring finger at least one size larger so I can no longer wear rings...they had no place to return him to or drop him off at (it was held at an event that closed)  Loved Again Pets was the agency.  They left him alone with me for THREE days afterwards so I couldn't even see the doctor until it was too late.  They listed hiim online afterwards as GOOD WITH PETS AND CHILDREN!  When my neighbor spoke up about it they blocked her...and me!   Someone else adopted him and I never learned the outcome there because by then I was blocked.  They never paid my medical bills or accepted responsibility for how things were handled.  The sad part is I fell in love with the dog, even so, and wanted to send his stuffed monkey with him that I'd gotten him and the "foster" refused it!  Poor little Jackson, I feel he was as much a victim in this mishandling as I was.

When I tried to adopt Arlie from Greenhill, they lied to me about everything, breed, weight, age, health.  They said they'd hold him for me then didn't....fortunately the other people never showed and I took him home as soon as I could!   They are the ones this orange tabby is in.  They won't even answer the phone.

I tried dealing with another agency, for two weeks they would not respond, no cooperation at all, I ended up not getting the dog I wanted as a result.\

On and on, I have nothing good to say about them.  I'm sure there are good ones out there doing a good work, but that has not been my experience!  We got Kodie from a first time breeder, I've gotten to know him and have pictures of his parents, siblings, it's so neat to have that, like an extended family of Kodie's!

13 hours ago, John9 said:

As I said we had many of both in the 35 years we were together

Yep, me too.  Kitty took the longest to adjust, she just wasn't used to dogs and was 12 when I acquired her...it took her 1 2/3 years to come in with Arlie, but she finally decided she wanted to be an indoor cat so she came in, told him SHE was boss and that was that!  He was 140 lbs then, to her nine.  :D  She had nothing to worry about, he was a gentle giant, and more afraid of HER than her of him...with reason. ;)

 

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1 hour ago, KayC said:

She had nothing to worry about, he was a gentle giant, and more afraid of HER than her of him...with reason.

KayC,

When my loving wife "brought" home our RottenShepherd he was still a puppy but about 50 pounds and we had cats and being a puppy he was very inquisitive and corner one of the cats and the cat smacked him on the head so many times it was "funny" and from then on he never bothered any of the cats. My loving wife brought home a Cornish Rex who a "breeder" kept too long and wasn't socialized and she spent the first 2 years in our bedroom hiding and would sneak out when everyone was asleep to eat and drink and do her "business" until eventually she came out into the real world and we actually saw here. I "think" that some breeders should not be allowed and I don't understand the adoption agencies either as I said our Catahoula came from an event run by the Michigan Humane Society (not a small group) and they should have known and informed us he was deaf. Luckily it worked out for us but still. We could go on and on about how "things" are run and I have a saying that I can't tell someone how to run their Business I can only tell you what I see wrong and the issues I am having with them.

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I’m really disappointed seeing these bad stories about rescue people.  I’ve always thought of the as altruistic heroes saving pets and matching forever homes.  I think that I am too empathetic about pets, especially here where they are generally are not treated well.  The new morning routine of forcing the old geriatric momma dog back to the store when she wants to come with me really bothers me.  I so love seeing the old girl wag her tail.

I’ve been letting Miss Kitty into my apartment occasionally, not as home, but as a diversion to look around.  We had a power outage at 0500 this morning; power outages are commonplace here.  Around 0600 when it was just getting started to get light, I checked on Kitty on my stairs, and she scooted right inside.  I walked to the back of the apartment for something, and when I got back to the kitchen, she was chewing something that I couldn’t see in the dim light.  When I got closer, it was a rat.  It has been here for well over a month, and wouldn’t eat the only rat poison available here.  Big rat, about half of her size.  I don’t know how she could have caught and killed it in about two minutes.

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Ahh, they're wonderful catching mice/rats/moles!  I so miss my Kitty.  She was crotchety, with good reason, she had such a hard life before me, but I knew her well and loved her.  No different than people, sometimes we have to look beyond the exterior...

I'm sure a lot of rescue people go into it with altruistic motives but maybe they reach the point where they focus on "getting rid of" the pets rather than "placing them" so they resort to things they shouldn't do like lying.  Or maybe like Greenhill they just see us all as a bother, just wanting easy placements without answering any questions or making appts.  Too bad, I could have that cat right now, laying here peaceably with Kodie...

 

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5 hours ago, KayC said:

Too bad, I could have that cat right now, laying here peaceably with Kodie...

KayC,

Or it could be crazy like my loving wife's cats, They sleep 23 hours and 59 minutes a day and go crazy the rest of the time.:biggrin: Maybe I exaggerate a little but they do sleep most of the day but I don't see them until they want to come out usually whenever I don't want them or need them to. I had an issue last night with a circuit breaker tripping and while I was trying to figure things out where were  they in my way. I had to have our son lock them in the bedroom. I spent 2-3 hours trying to figure out the problem and of course if my brain wasn't broken from grief I would have figured it out in about a minute. It was something I should have remembered that happens and I didn't think until I was in the middle of removing a cover to check an outlet and then it hit me what the problem was. I was outside and I "knew" it, as I said it has happened before.

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Rescue facilities are overwhelmed.  People at home during the pandemic adopted pets, and many, when they went back to work, dumped them.  I can’t imagine having a pet for a year or more, establishing that bond, and then callously turning it in to a shelter.  There must be enormous pressure to find homes to make room for the new ones.  High stress for the employees.

John, I know what you mean about the cats being in the way.  Miss Kitty is usually around my feet and I nearly trip over her often.  This morning I accidentally stepped on her when she was walking with me in the apartment.  I’d think that they would have better instincts.

When I first started seeing her around here over a month ago, she was sometimes in the company of a larger grey cat.  I hadn’t seen him in the three weeks that I’ve been feeding her and she’s been settling in, but last night when I checked on her before I went to bed, he was on my stairs landing eating her food.  He took off when I opened the door.  I really don’t want another cat around here.

Two weeks ago when she was in my kitchen, a cockroach walked right by her and she ignored it.  I thought she might be the only cat without the hunter instinct, so I was really surprised when she got that big rat.  From scared homeless cat, she’s acclimated to a person (me) and seems happy with her location (and meals).  I was surprised yesterday when I had a couple of men come up to take my old refrigerator down my narrow stairs (difficult), and she let one of them scratch her head.  She’s come a long way from the scared cat hiding under the building a few weeks ago.

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37 minutes ago, OldTrojan said:

She’s come a long way from the scared cat hiding under the building a few weeks ago.

OldTrojan,

Many cats are not as aloof as people think, I joke about cats but as I said my loving wife and I had many in the 35 years and although I did things for her that I didn't care to do to keep her happy having cats was not an issue. I said anything she wanted I tried to make it happen. It seems like Miss Kitty understands that she is safe with you. People who don't have or never had cats just don't understand them, each one is unique and that can be good and bad but it doesn't mean people should "hate" them or dogs either. Most of the problems with the cats and dogs come from the other animal-HUMANS the cats and dogs would sort it out just fine if we weren't involved.

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16 hours ago, John9 said:

People who don't have or never had cats just don't understand them, each one is unique and that can be good and bad but it doesn't mean people should "hate" them or dogs either.

I realize that but they don't, nor do they care to.

I'm suspicious Kodie may have a penis infection starting, Arlie had one once, and wouldn't you know it's the weekend with hazardous weather alerts and not looking good in the days ahead either!  High winds left huge branches everywhere, in my driveway, the road, yard, everywhere you look.  I have my work cut out for me today after daylight.  Haven't even looked inside Kodie's fence yet.  I wish we had a vet in town, but nope!  Not liking this winter and it just started.

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1 hour ago, KayC said:

I'm suspicious Kodie may have a penis infection starting, Arlie had one once, and wouldn't you know it's the weekend with hazardous weather alerts and not looking good in the days ahead either!  High winds left huge branches everywhere, in my driveway, the road, yard, everywhere you look.  I have my work cut out for me today after daylight.  Haven't even looked inside Kodie's fence yet.  I wish we had a vet in town, but nope!  Not liking this winter and it just started.

KayC,

I sure hope Kodie is okay and I know it's not "true" but it sure seems like the bad things happen at the most inopportune times, weekends, nights, holidays. As I said before I am coming up on a year since we lost our female Chihuahua and of course what happened to her was at night after our Vet was closed and once again the drive was the longest alone and trying to make her comfortable at the same time. There are high winds here today 55-60 mph and everything is flooded and the sump pump outside isn't working and I just don't want to deal with it. I just want to scream sometimes (and I do)

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Oh John, I am so sorry.  I hope the pump outside is just frozen and when it warms up it starts working again.  I'm not sure about Kodie, I'm probably paranoid, but I'm keeping an eye on it.  You're getting what we are, I've picked up so many large branches in the yard today, every time I go outside there's more (I have a lot of trees), the drought this summer didn't help them any so I think they're just ripe for breaking, sure seems it.  I was supposed to go to my granddaughter's performance tomorrow but am not up to driving in this, it's a long ways away and Kodie would have to go with me.  Winter is starting hard.  Not sure how I'll get to the dentist Thursday, long ways and I'm getting snow all week.

 

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