Lost My Best Friend

[John9]

KayC,

I hope that the bully cat(s) leave Panther Kitty alone and he trusts you more each day. Hopefully if it was a bear, it will stay away too. But if there is any lingering food and smells it might be back. But I am sure you already know that since you have lived there as long as you have. My loving wife and I never had to deal with bears, but we were always worried about hawks and coyotes and skunks but that is a different issue. My loving wife and I had been awakened many times during the Summer to our Chihuahua's whining because they could smell the skunks before we could. Which meant something was after them or startled them.

[KayC]

It would be pretty difficult for a bear to make his way up my 40' ramp & rails, I doubt it'd fit!  The patio seems protected, it's up high, but underneath it is another thing, although it'd be crowded for a bear.  There's boards, etc. stored underneath it, fine for a cat, not so much for a bear.  

Last night Panther rubbed on my leg!  Also I was able to touch him for a moment, he seemed scared after for a moment, I pulled back and let him go his pace again.  You never know.  He is definitely reaching out though, to be my kitty.

Oh yes, I've had skunks all these years, have to put mothballs around the house and carport and block things off.  Cat pee (ammonia smell) is not desirable to them either.  Not sure where Panther does his business, likely nearby bushes, but that should help keep skunks away from this part anyway.
@OldTrojan Do you have an update on Kitty?  Been wondering how you are!

[John9]

5 hours ago, KayC said:

Last night Panther rubbed on my leg! 

KayC,

Small steps and hopefully a successful transition to at least accepting pets and chin scratches. My loving wife's cats are over 2 years old now and still afraid most of the time. And they are indoor only cats, they were not really sure last night when the park was setting off the Firework display because it isn't a normal thing. but I am sure that you will keep trying and I hope Panther realizes you are only trying to do what is best for him.

[KayC]

He let me pet him yesterday, showed much affection, showed interest in coming in the house!  Him and Kodie stared at each other from a distance.  Not sure I'm ready to try him inside, I'd need a litter box and I want more time for him to get acclimated to me and Kodie first.  Someone let a feral cat inside here once and he was literally climbing the walls with terror!  He was in panic mode, I had a hard time getting him out w/o tearing up the place!  So a little leery just yet...but it'd be nice if he got there eventually.  He has a wound near his eye that troubles me, but can't do anything about it as he doesn't like his head touched and certainly isn't in a place where he's ready to trust someone enough to hold that still and let you clean/put ointment on something, esp. close to his eye!

[John9]

56 minutes ago, KayC said:

He let me pet him yesterday, showed much affection, showed interest in coming in the house! 

KayC,

Hopefully it is a good sign. Maybe he is leery of head pets because he has a wound you can't see. As I said small steps and hopefully it will work out for all of you (Kodie too) My loving wife and I had a cat that she got that spent about 3 years hiding in our bedroom away from all of our other animals until she decided to venture out into the rest of the house.

Edited July 4, 2022 by John9
Additional comment

[KayC]

Some animals are very protective of their head and their belly, more vulnerable.  He swiped me good yesterday, sliced my finger pretty dang good, I've never seen such razor sharp claws!  I was more guarded last night.  
Kitty was scared/hiding at first, but not like a feral cat, just a scared cat, big difference, this one WANTS pet but he's not used to it!  He was very affectionate yesterday too.

I hope our guy here is okay, haven't heard from him in a while, I keep wondering how his mama Kitty is doing with her little ones...

[John9]

KayC,

Yes I have noticed that one of my loving wife's cats is more skittish about pets than the other, but he is also more jumpy in general. My loving wife and I could never figure out what made him that way, whatever it was happened before we got him. And no amount of petting him has calmed him down, he is always scanning the room. Any loud noise sends him running he hated the fireworks over the weekend and there were many. I too wonder about OldTrojan, because he said he had some issues with his health. And I wonder about Miss Kitty too because if he isn't there for her, who is.

[KayC]

It feels we're always having to adjust to someone we care about disappearing on the forum...we're left wondering and hoping they're okay.  I've tried messaging him and tnd, but...no response.

[John9]

30 minutes ago, KayC said:

It feels we're always having to adjust to someone we care about disappearing on the forum...we're left wondering and hoping they're okay.  I've tried messaging him and tnd, but...no response.

KayC,

I understand because in many ways these connections are all I have and have helped me keep going. It is just so overwhelming most of the time and less and less support.... I hope that they are okay. Take care, John

[AJWCat]

8 hours ago, KayC said:

It feels we're always having to adjust to someone we care about disappearing on the forum...we're left wondering and hoping they're okay.  I've tried messaging him and tnd, but...no response.

Yep, like the lady who was here so much and then...I fear may have gotten Covid.  She was so kind and good-hearted. 

I love you're helping out a feral cat! Sounds like it'll take some more time. I love them so much but they're fickle. Mine is the sweetest-cuddle-girl in the world... until she wants to attack me.  

[John9]

1 minute ago, AJWCat said:

Mine is the sweetest-cuddle-girl in the world... until she wants to attack me.  

AJWCat,

That's so funny because one of my late loving wife's cats just grabbed my foot the other day and went to town on it, kicking and biting me. He always fights with his brother but he has never attacked me. I know it was in play but he surprised me at the same time. My loving wife and I had many cats in our 35 years together and once in a while one would do that but you knew when it was going to happen. Take care, John

[KayC]

15 hours ago, AJWCat said:

Yep, like the lady who was here so much and then...I fear may have gotten Covid.  She was so kind and good-hearted. 

Do you mean @Collettesweetbear?  I've mailed and messaged her, she said she had Covid and then we never heard from her again, lived alone, I've been very worried about , it's been 1 1/2 years.  I worried she didn't make it through as it was Delta.
She'd sent Kodie a blanket when I got him...I'm amazed that their advertisement shows a dog that looks just like him!

 

[KayC]

Lately, Panther Kitty swats at me to try to pull me back to stay with him, I know he's fallen for me, but oh my gosh does he ever have razor sharp claws!  I know he doesn't have another way of getting my attention when I'm going back into the house but I don't want him swatting, it hurts!  Gosh he's beautiful and sweet though!  It breaks my heart for all he's been through.  I know he wants in the house but don't trust how that's go for Kodie or me!  Have plenty of time to watch/wait/see.  Cat lady neighbor was going to carry my small doghouse to back patio for him to sleep in as I can't lift it (I was able bodied when I moved it to the front porch for Kodie...he's never used it).  She was going to bring me antibiotics too but never showed up, I hope she does this week.

Panther is very affectionate, can't picture him being a lap Kitty but he purrs and rubs on my legs, we've come a long ways in this length of time even though feral.   

[John9]

28 minutes ago, KayC said:

Lately, Panther Kitty swats at me to try to pull me back to stay with him, I know he's fallen for me, but oh my gosh does he ever have razor sharp claws! 

I have always been the one who trimmed the Cats claws and my loving wife did the dogs. I only say that to say this, out of all of the Cats my loving wife and I had there were only a couple I had trouble with. I had trouble with our Munchkin because her legs were so short and I have trouble with my loving wife's two cats now. They are just so wiggly and won't hold still. I know you can't really trim Panthers nail, but is there any way to get him to use a scratching post because it does seem to help a little in taking off the points. I hope that things get easier and Panther calms down and quits grabbing with the daggers. Take care, John

[KayC]

You can't "get a cat" to do anything!  I have two scratching posts out on the patio, Kitty used them!  I never had a cat with such sharp claws!  But I've been told NOT to trim or declaw when they're in the wild as they need them to protect themselves!  He was attacked by another cat the other day!  Yeah, no way could I trim them or take him anywhere, way too feral for that, I don't need him going off on me!  Still healing the finger he lacerated!

But I do think that's what he's doing, trying to get me to stay with him.  The situation is kind of a dilemma.  I know we love each other even though this short time, but now instead of winning HIS trust, I need MY trust established!  

[John9]

1 hour ago, KayC said:

You can't "get a cat" to do anything!  I have two scratching posts out on the patio, Kitty used them!  I never had a cat with such sharp claws!  But I've been told NOT to trim or declaw when they're in the wild as they need them to protect themselves!  He was attacked by another cat the other day!  Yeah, no way could I trim them or take him anywhere, way too feral for that, I don't need him going off on me!  Still healing the finger he lacerated!

But I do think that's what he's doing, trying to get me to stay with him.  The situation is kind of a dilemma.  I know we love each other even though this short time, but now instead of winning HIS trust, I need MY trust established!  

KayC,

I do understand the comment, especially the part about declawing which nobody should do at all. But IF you could trim the tips he would still be able to defend himself. But I also understand about being able or not being able to do so. He is just learning to trust you and you wouldn't want to ruin that. Is it possible to pet him with a protective glove on, like a grooming glove(?) And you are correct that you can't get them to do anything they don't want. One of my loving wife's cats loves all of the scratching posts and the other one would rather attack the carpet on the steps. I know that if you gain his trust that you will probably figure something out that works for both of you. I hope that the other cats eventually will leave him alone but probably smell the fact you have fed him and are looking for food too. So you have a catch-22, as long as he is outside he might get attacked and you can't bring him inside because he is so feral/wild. I hope you can figure out something that works for both of you.

[KayC]

Posted a summation of my week here (today's post)
https://www.griefhealingdiscussiongroups.com/topic/10962-mom/page/24/#elControls_166777_menuosted 

Gave Panther Kitty the start of his meds this morning, neighbor helped me move the dog-cat/house to the back patio on Panther's spot...he can get on it or in it, there's a nice new blanket inside it.  It'll protect him from rain/snow IF he chooses.  Kitty loved the "mailbox cat scratcher" she'd sit in it at the top and be comfy and look out it at the yard, so far he hasn't gone for it. Deb (cat lady neighbor) said to give him canned cat food too, I got him some but need to buy more in a week.  The price has doubled, of course!  He likes what I bought so will get the same, must say it looks better than the tuna I bought, 5 1/2 oz can of that was 2 1/2 oz after the "water" it was canned in!

 

[John9]

KayC,

Hopefully Panther will figure out he likes the house and the protection it can afford him. Sadly, I have noticed the price of the cat food has increased as well, my loving wife used to get a discount when she worked for the Vet and we fed our animals the brand they sold. After she got her cats the Vet recommended a brand that they didn't sell, so I now have to pay whatever it costs because...... Luckily but sadly as well I only have to feed 2 cats and not the dogs we had/lost. But as we know the price of everything is through the roof and there is no end in sight.

[KayC]

Though I had a free day, but alas was told last min. we had a meeting so took Kodie with me (I got his Service ID!), after hours, got out, stopped by home to get treats and took him to the far end of the patio as I wanted to check on Panther Kitty...Kodie still hooked to me, Panther RUBBED on Kodie!  I couldn't believe it  Wow!  I love that cat even though he's challenging, never tried domesticating a feral cat before, not sure he'll ever be 100% but we're gaining ground little by little!  Started him on meds, he's doing well.

Took Kodie to his play date and Iris brought me a bowl of salad w/ a bit of pork in it, so nice, so I got to eat while sitting in the most beautiful Eden and watching the dogs play!

[John9]

KayC,

I am glad that you had a little bit of good. I do hope Kodie and Panther can at least tolerate each other. I keep forgetting to ask about the plastic incident. I hope that there were no issues in regards to that. Anyway, one day at a time, Right. It is all we can do, at least that is how it is for me.

[KayC]

I never found any plastic wrap in Kodie's stools.  No idea what happened to it or if it's still there.
Well, I guess we aren't hearing from him regarding Kitty and her litter...    Alas, that seems to be how it is here, we make an acquaintance with someone, then they move on and we're left wondering...

 

[John9]

38 minutes ago, KayC said:

I never found any plastic wrap in Kodie's stools.  No idea what happened to it or if it's still there.
Well, I guess we aren't hearing from him regarding Kitty and her litter...    Alas, that seems to be how it is here, we make an acquaintance with someone, then they move on and we're left wondering...

 

KayC,

Yes, it is sad that we don't get any sort of closure. For me the people here are closer than the ones in my current existence and I feel a bond with them. I just hope that Miss Kitty is okay but she is probably now completely on her own.