Loss of an Adult Child

[arc4ever]

Lorri,

Glad you are up - if only for a little while.

Please know you can post as much as you want and vent, and cry and hopefully smile once in a while.  Please don't "leave us alone" we will always be here.

BYW: My mom actually called today.  I missed her call, I'm at work and don't answer my cell phone and leave it on vibrate thru the day.  But she did leave a message and said she loved me.  Big step for her.  I can be thankful that she did reach out. 

Love Terrie (Adam's mom)

[mikesmum]

[user=27668]mysonrich[/user] wrote:

good morning BI, a bit chilly here today. The warm breezes life my spirits, the cold seems to take me back a few steps/feet.

 

Dee, nice pic's. I understand now. Lions. Wreaths . I couldn't figure that one out.

 

Sue, another page of the life of Michelle. " She now soars"

 

Trudi, I'm so sorry. the news was not good. Sometimes we don' have much fight left in us. My thought here is why 2 pain medications w/i the course of 2 days? If one dug deeper would more patients be revealed to have fallen  to " unprofessional conduct"? Strength. That would take strength.

 

 

I was thinking of tip-toeing over to the neighbor's house and unplugging the outdoor Christmas lights that also play music. Would that be mean? I mean, can we have the Thanksgiving first?

 

 

Betsy, mysonRich

Betsy - Since Mike died I have been made acutely aware of the 'cracks in the system', the 'unprofessional conduct' and the need for change in the way pain management opiates are handled.   This not just from Mikes case, but from a number of mum's in this town alone who have lost their kids. 

Researching further it stuns me how many committees, reports, goverment reviews carried out, all with the same outcome.  Ths solution is simple, obvious and available yet not in place. "Further consideration as to how it will be insigated is needed"   ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

As for the Christmas sh_t (as Dee says, you buy a vowel), yep power outage due to the cords being frayed...(rip em out, shred them, leave them on the lawn)!  A public service as opposed to destruction of property!

Strength - Each time I receive an 'outcome' I am hit by the wall of tsunami emotions that take my strength, make my being ache and throw me into the abyss.  I cry the heaving sobs that consumed my first months without Mike.  My ability to 'present well' in the other world is gone.  

In amongst all this a call from youngest son.....just back from a 3 day weekend on the coast.  It was a voucher gift we gave them last Christmas...I had forgotten.  He was so grateful, happy and rested.  This was the son, the heroin addict I had believed I would never see live past his 21st.  Now clean, sober, a qualified plumber with two beautiful children (31yrs old) he has managed to survive.......His comment....'you sound tired mum, you need a break'...so true.

Bonnie - No one here especially you would wish anything else but good tidings to those in your life.  But I guess it goes back to that anchor point of that day.  They say the depth of grief and pain reflects the depth of love......a parents love so different from that of a girlfriend or boyfriend.

Greg - I love your pictures.  Brian looks so young....yet so confident with his babygirl.

Lorrie - Up is good....out of PJ's not a requirement. 

Dee - "needed my fix".  Yep, I come here to adjust before setting out into the alternative universe ~ My thoughts with Jon as he struggles to find his footing on shifting sands.......

The words, experiences and lives of my BI friends afford me the ability to breath in and out without screaming in a crowd....Thanks

Heading out to return shoes, meet with daughter for coffee.  Need to hug her, she's doing exams for nursing this coming month and is frazzled.  I remember being frazzled doing Nursing exams as a mum in my 30's....it ain't easy..

 

[ericasmom]

Hi Guys and Gals,

going to the gym to work in the warm water pool with mostly much older people. I love the warm water on my body after a long day at work. It is a welcome feeling after so little rest last night and so much activity today. We are preparing for a field trip on wednesday to see the play, One Hundred Dresses. I sure hope ew are a good audience, 90 kids from 3rd grade at a lovely theatre in the city.

I am sickened and crying at the news today, a young 5 year old girl who was taken the other day from her trailer was found murdered. She is from NC and her mom, who lied, said she was taken but it turns out that mom made money on this tiny little girl, her own child, by prostituting her to men. I AM SICK of sick people. She didn't even raise her, her daddy let his daughter go to her mom's to live for a while, (where is the logic there?) and in one month with momma, she is taken, spotted on camera at a hotel wth a man, and then murdered.

To take the life of a child? HOW DARE YOU? Poor little baby girl, fly quickly to the light, all the hands of our angels will help guide you, follow them, they will give you the nurture that you need little Shanihya. Blessings as you find your way to Heaven.

[mikesmum]

There are those who have lost a child and live a life lost.  Then their are those whose child is lost from day one.  Blessed be the released spirit that now rests with those who wait to hold her.........

[lolynbo]

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PPL..HERE WE ARE WOULD PROB MAKE A DEAL WITHTHE DEVIL TO GET OUR BABIES BACK..(SUMS IT UP BUT..) AND THAT CRAZY ASS WOMAN, KILLED HER CHILD OR PUT THE GUN IN THEIR HANDS...SICK SICK PPL..TIRED OF THEM....WE ARE NOT TO JUDGE (SP) PPL BUT I CAN JUDGE HER

[hotrod]

HI Everyone

I agree This is a very sad  sad story.  I did see an interview with the Dad and he looked as if he would make a deal with the devil to change his decision to let the child live with Mom.

I feel enriched knowing all  the people here who are so filled with love and compassion .

Praying for all our angels.

Betty

Stephen'smom:)

[shellbellsmom]

Seems sometimes I think I have read all post then when I reply to them I see a couple pages I totally missed.  Can’t figure this out. Thanks for the all laughs today, it’s great to read all the great come backs from all the incentive people out there. 

Sherry sorry I missed your daughters angel date, you and your family are in my prayers.

Dee it’s too hard to read the news sometime…..so sad for that little girl…Your post about going to cemetery was so hard to read…I am sorry that you and Erica’s father had such a terrible experience .  Emotionless people like that lady should not have jobs dealing with people at their worst hours.  Definitely  will keep your Jon in my prayers…it’s so hard on the siblings too.  And I wish we all had a Mr. Windsor in our life.  Love the Chicago pictures….its one of my favorite places and only 3 hours from me.  I have a picture of my Michelle looking out the Sears tower with her BF the year she died.  I will try and find to post. 

Betty the story of your Stephen being an angel brought a smile to my face…  I have always wondered if we ever live past lives? Love your pictures of NY too.   I have only been there once in my teens but remember being in Central Park- and seeing the fountains…I plan on going there again sometime soon this time seeing the sites as an adult. 

Greg love seeing the pictures of your Brian with his baby….he looked like he had such a gentle nature about him. 

Susannah wishing you a peaceful week.  Take it easy on the chores they aren’t going anywhere and you are just coming out of your fog so walk slowly and things will start becoming a little easier on you. 

Trudi – So sorry to hear about the doctors report.  I won’t go into details now but we too experienced some bad calls/overlooked treatments for my daughter. The ones with a conscience feel the guilt and the ones without one hopefully will pay for it later in life.   Loved what Caleb said about the “wishing on a rainbow” that everyone who died could come back to life…except the zombies- ME TOO! I hope your daughter has a easy time with her nursing exam and so glad your son was able to be happy and get some rest on his excursion. 

  I've been in this stage of disbelief lately. I know he's gone but I still have days that I hope it's a nightmare and I will wake up.  It still hurts in an unimaginable way. 

Bonnie, I have been in that stage for 4 months..and that is why I decided I should see a therapist once again.  I want the pain to go away….and start leading some sort of normal life again.

Dan that was  very nice gesture in cutting someone else’s grass at the cemetery.  My husband always made sure he watered others peoples flowers at our cemetery….

Lorrie glad you are feeling better today. After reading yours and everyone’s post about their haunting memories of their last time..I started getting all panicky not remembering everything so clearly.  I revisited my daughter’s hospital journal this morning.  I was alone and haven’t read it in a while.  It not only brought back some horrible memories but also some great ones from reading her post while she was in-patient and so hopeful and thankful for everything everyone was doing for her with her illness.  I hope she was at peace right before…feeling all your love for her when you were all together. 

Betsy you crack me up about the your neighbors Christmas Music and Light- Go for it….Mums the word here.

Terri glad you got a nice message from your mother today… always try and accept gifts we receive.

Marcia loved the picture of you and your Bethany in Mexico…I hope someday you are able to move there and find some peace  in a place you and your daughters loved being together at. 

Hope to get some pictures up later tonight of my neck of the woods; Western Michigan. Till then... Even though my heart aches still I try and be thankful for each minute I had with my precious girl.  Miss you kiddo.

Everyone here....wishing  you some peace today.    Sue

[arc4ever]

Trudi, beautiful words. The sad news of this innocent child and her MOTHER being involved.  She doesn't deserve to be called a mother.

Love, Terrie (Adam's mom)

[briansdad]

[user=7435]ericasmom[/user] wrote:

I am sickened and crying at the news today, a young 5 year old girl who was taken the other day from her trailer was found murdered. She is from NC and her mom, who lied, said she was taken but it turns out that mom made money on this tiny little girl, her own child, by prostituting her to men. I AM SICK of sick people. She didn't even raise her, her daddy let his daughter go to her mom's to live for a while, (where is the logic there?) and in one month with momma, she is taken, spotted on camera at a hotel wth a man, and then murdered.

To take the life of a child? HOW DARE YOU? Poor little baby girl, fly quickly to the light, all the hands of our angels will help guide you, follow them, they will give you the nurture that you need little Shanihya. Blessings as you find your way to Heaven.

Dee,

She is in a far better place, as all our children are. She'll never have to deal with the dregs of society like we do. The twisted worm of a brain that could think to do those things to a baby like her. It makes me happy for all our children that they will never have to read of things like this.

[ericasmom]

Amen to that Greg, I just don't get it though. How could that precious little one have so tragic, so violent an end? She was just a little sprite.

Thanks Greg, I have been sick over this, and all those that are out there missing...you put a good light on this, she is done with bad people.

[daveydow1]

Lorrie---So sorry for your pain.......What terrible times to go through at the

hospital when sweet Kourtney was admitted. Prayers for your peace & comfort.

Bonnie, Deneace, Sue, Lorrie, Kathy,----Thanks so very much, my friends, for

your kind words on Lisa's angel day. Bonnie.....Great pic of Jason's celebration.

Betty---Thanks for pics of NYC (would love to visit the city someday )

Greg----Yep, I agree with Dee.....it's easy to see that Brian loved his little one,

Alyssa, and was such a good Daddy.

Dee---I agree with the others... It was such a traumatic experience for you to

meet up with that  gravesite salesperson. She was a NIGHTMARE of a WOMAN !

I'm glad that you told her how you were there to select a gravesite for your lovely

19-yr. old daughter....not for an appliance or something else. She needed to be

put in her place. She was very rude & insensitive.Comfort & peace. Oh, thanks

for the pics of Chicago---makes me want to visit there again.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lisa, baby.......sweet Angel in heaven......there's a very new little ANGEL, SHANIYA,

there, now. Welcome here, Lisa, to the lovely pink & white heaven. ALL our angels

will welcome her now. 

[mikesmomrs]

I am sickened also...my heart tells me that this little one is now flying, free, not having to face "the dregs of society" as Greg said...no punishment bad enough can be thought up to take care of those involved...I could never be a public defender...  Her dad is in such anguish, and he will be feeling such guilt for a long time over letting her go to be with her mom...I pray he is able to get past it so that he can grieve the loss of his precious daughter...

love and peace, carol  mikesmomrs

[Guest]

I've taken Ambien..first time...and it's kicking in as I type.  That's my disclaimer.

I keep erasing everything I type.  So many emotions concerning that 5yr old little girl. 

I better not comment until I've gotten a good night's sleep (I hope)....

Susannah/ Stephanie's mom (and my grandchildren's grandma...who very easily could have been that little girl.)  There is much darkness in the world.  But, there is much light, too.  Sometimes we have to look harder to find the light.

 

 

[arc4ever]

Dee and to anyone who had difficult people to deal with at the funeral homes/cemetery, etc.

I am so very sorry, it was a hard enough thing to do to plan our children's funerals, to pick their "final resting place" but to have had such inconsiderate uncompassionate people to deal with.  I cannot understand.  This may be just  'job' to them, but to us and to everyone else who has to do the unthinkable we really do deserve better.

I guess we were lucky, we had incredibly kind people at the funeral home.  We had a lovely young woman who treated us with great kindness and softeness.  We had a moment of panic afterwards when we realized we may have lost Adam's baptismal candle which we had laying out at the funeral home.  Someone in the family was in charge of bringing home everything and somehow it got overlooked. The funeral home was smart and kind enough to call us and let us know they had it and it was later picked up.

The cemetery arrangements were handled pretty well.  I do remember the older gentleman trying to find some way to ask if we had the money to pay, I believe his words were "most 16 year olds do not have life insurance...." we told them it was taken care of we had insurance.  He drove us around the cemetery - we wanted three plots together.  Stopped at a couple of spots but found something fairly quickly.  This is a catholic cemetery with lots of rules, but the area is nicely tree covered, and there is a ravine close by with a large creek (or river - I don't know what its name is).

At the time I did not realize there were plots that were just for flat markers, plots for angled monuments and plots for larger monuments.  Just by chance we purchased plots that were for the larger monuments as we had one made for the three of us (I'll post a picture sometime).

The only thing we had to hagle over was the fact that we wanted writing on the back of the monument and the monument company had had problems in the past with getting approval from this catholic cemetery for that to be done.  We picked a bible verse and stuck to our guns and got it done.

I do not understand why on earth anyone should be forced to purchase SIX plots - what the heck is that all about?  What would we have done, my husband and I with our one child?  We are the only Catholics in our family (except my one sister- also a convert, but she is married with her own children who are not catholic)?  I have never heard of such a thing!

All in all, being what it was we had nice, kind people to deal with.  I am sorry for those who had morons to deal with at such a difficult time.

Had to work overtime (actually it is 9:44pm and I just finished work for the day).  Mind you, this has never happened in ten years at my job, so no complaints on my part it is just kind of funny for me to just be finishing work.

Love to all and I know our angels are welcoming in that beautiful 5 year old.  I have many, many prayers for her father and as for her "mother", well maybe one day she will realize the horror that she has committed. 

Goodnight, Love Terrie (Adam's mom)

[summergirl]

Bonnie - yes, there are things I would go back and do differently but no matter what my Jessica is still gone. I am lucky that I did not have to deal with a husband, boyfriend or significant other when Jessica left us and thank God every day that Tavian was with us that night and our battle for custody was won.  I am sorry for all of you that have had to go through what you did on top of the loss - it just does not seem right that a boyfriend/girlfriend / future wife/husband should have ANY say in what is to be done with OUR child's belongings let alone be so callous about it. Yes, you do want her to have a future and a good life but the young seem to move on quickly in some circumstances......my sister-in-law did not date anyone for 6 years after my brother passed away, she always said there would never be another Billy for her and she will never marry again. She now lives with a very nice man who is very good to her and her son Michael - Billy is proud and happy.

Trudi - I am so very proud of your son Steven, to find his way as he has after such an addiction is a prayer come true. My heart is happy for you and I pray some day that I will be able to say the same for me.

Dee - the loss of that little 5 year old baby sends me into blackness - I remember when the news first broke and I watched as the daddy begged to have his daughter back and when they had a brief talk with the mother I looked at Barry and said "the mother had something to do with that little girl's disappearance" - there was just something about her, the look in her eyes, no sorrow, no tears....just said she could not understand why anyone would think she had anything to do with harming her daughter !!!!!!  I will never understand how anyone could harm a child but it happens every day - some where tonight there is a child who needs saving !!  How right you are Greg - that baby is now free of the pain and horror of her short little life.           I pray for your sweet son Dee, I know he will find his way, after all you are his mom...............

Lorrie - as Trudi said - getting up is great but getting out of Pj's is not a requirement. Never leave us my friend - you have to much to give us and your Kourtney is sending you strength, love and hugs to her momma.

Ah, the Christmas lights and music - taking a short walk and tripping over them sounds good but do not want you to be where Marcia is - so I opt for just going over and un-plugging the thing !!!  Please can we just get through Thanksgiving before we start up with the Christmas decorations and music - how true !!  Cannot even walk into a department store now without seeing all the trees and Christmas stuff out already - AAARRRGGGHHH !!!!! 

Greg - such wonderful pic's of your Brian and his sweet baby - the one in the rocking chair did me in........

Warm here today and the sun was shinning but still not myself - just feel like I cannot get ahead in anything. I look at my quilt sitting there waiting to be finished, my scrapbook for my sister sitting there and I cannot seem to find the energy to begin - yet I never seem to sit down until after Tavian is in bed and sleeping and then I am in bed and talking to all of you.............soon, soon I say

Prayers for a restful night my friends although it is hard when so many thoughts run through our minds.

[summergirl]

Wrote this a few days ago.

• Do you know I miss your smiling face
  
• Do you know no one can take your place
  
• Do you know the days go swiftly by
  
• Do you know how many tears I cry
  
• 
  
• Do you see me as I raise your son
  
• Do you see how strong he has become
  
• Do you see his love for you is there
  
• Do you see and wish that you were here
  
• 
  
• Do you wish I could go on with life
  
• Do you wish I knew you were all right
  
• Do you wish that I could look and see
  
• Do you wish I knew that you were free
  
• 
  
• Do you look down on us from above
  
• Do you look and see and it's enough
  
• Do you watch and silently say our names
  
• Do you smile at each step we gain
  
• 
  
• Do You.......................................               

I love you and miss you so my sweet girl, my daughter, my best friend - you mamma always.

                                                            

[zachysmom]

Something my Angel taught me was to always no matter how horrible the situation to look for the light in the darkness. So I have done that with this story of the little girl. I know she was never alone in the hell she had to live in. When I read the first post about her immediately the song concrete angel cam to my mind. She was protected through the hell she was put through. I know when I went through my hell as a child I can remember being taken to another place to play till the hell my body was put through was over. Even as she was taken the final time she felt nothing her body went through. She is was and always will be an innocent. She has taught us to not close our eyes to the agony of another no matter their age or where they come from. So remember love her don't pity her she hurts no longer.

 

The picture I am including is my sons' only school picture.

[mikesmum]

Beautiful Kathy.

[hotrod]

Zachysmom  What a precious angel  Thank you for sharing your thoughts and new picture ,

Kathy     Beautiful poem

Betty

Stephen's mom

[shellbellsmom]

Very nice poem Kathy....and I believe your Jessica does know.

Beth your little Zach is adorable, what a precious picture.  I liked what you said "So remember love her don't pity her she hurts no longer." you are right but all the people who loved her down here their pain has just begun.  So Sad for their lose.

I am sorry for all the horrible experiences with the funeral/ cemetery.  Mine like Terrie's couldn't have gone smoother.  The BF friend father was a funeral director and they knew my daughter. While the boys played football I guess my daughter sat on the sidelines with his father.  He also had lost a child many years before so maybe that is why he was so compassionate to us. The funeral director was also very active in our parish so all the preparations were taken care of.  We only needed to purchase one plot (but choose 3- my son didn't want one). Ours was placed under a large old tree which we thought would shade her. Last year we had a bad storm and we lost the tree- it was up rooted so they planted smaller ones to replace it.   We are able to see her headstone (solar lights at night) from the road that we drive on every day.  Its reassuring that when it’s too snowy to make it up the hill we can still see her headstone when we pass by...we know she close by.  At Christmas time I have a wreath with solar lights that you can also see when you drive pass. 

My niece called me last night (she’s 17) to tell me about getting a sign from my daughter yesterday after church. She and her 9 year old brother were in the car waiting for their mother and were listening to the radio.  My niece was fiddling with the bookmark (with my daughters pic. on) I gave her last weekend and was putting it on the visor.  On the radio was a Christmas song...she said it was like..."have a merry merry Christmas..."your bad to the bone"...and a happy new year.  She and  my nephew both heard it and both knew it was Michelle.  That was their song- they used to sing it together all the time.  My nephew got so excited he ran to tell his mother. What they didn't know was my daughter despised  Christmas music being played too early. So she was telling them she was there but to turn off the music already! Most of my daughters signs have been through music on the radio- I even had a psychic tell me before that is how she comes. 

 Then my sister told of a vivid dream that my daughter was in last week.  She and my daughter were at someone’s house and Michelle was going through all the things that had changed since she died,  Like she knew everything that happened and she was going down a list. She also said she was so brightly lit....with the most beautiful complexion.  She glowed she said....and Michelle said she is fine and can't believe all that happened since she passed away.  She said there was no speaking but she knew what she was saying.  So this answers the question do they know....I believe they do and see everything that has happen to us. 

This cheered me up and made some of the overhead clouds lift a bit...now just hoping she pays me a  visit me in my dreams too.

Peaceful dreams everyone.    Sue

[shellbellsmom]

IS there someone who can tell me how to post more than one picture to a post.  When I click on the image icon it tells me to insert a URL address of a website.  Do they need to be uploaded in a photo directory somewhere? Sue

[zachysmom]

Something I have come to realize is that we hurt so that we remember those who have been lost. Our child or family member or someone we never knew we all hurt from the loss. But the pain is just a blink of an eye till we are with them again and through the darkest days of our pain we receive signs from our loved ones to let us know they are and always will be with us.

 

 

Must be one of the days my meds are really working.  

[ericasmom]

Gorgeous photo Beth, what a doll-baby that Zach is.

Kathy, your poem is beautiful, lovely, and i do believe she does. Jess does.

Sherri, how special the picture you create with Baby Lisa holding the hand of Shaniya as she ascends to Heaven. Two little white souls...beautiful.

Thanks for the prayers for Jon, he sounded good today, felt better. Keep those prayers going if you don't mind, as I do believe in the energy that they create, good energy surrounding him, and what better energy and thoughts than from this group? Thank you.

I agree with Kathy, and Kathy, I hope one day you will have the same kind of goodness as Trudi is experiencing with Steven.

I took a nap after the gym, had to, but am finally ready for sleep. Blessings to you Each, sleep deeply with dreams of goodness.

dee

[zachysmom]

  Even as an Angel my little stinker is wrapping females around his little finger 

[mikesmomrs]

Kathy, beautiful poem...straight from your heart to your angel's heart; yes, she knows.  I too pray that your situation with your son will turn out the way you would like and that you will hear good things...

Trudi:  I am so happy for you about Steven...it is such a joy to you that you can look at him and know that he is living his life in a happy, fulfilling way...his children and wife are blessed...as is he. 

Beth:  adorable pic of Zachy; thanks for sharing. 

Greg:  Love the pic of Brian with Alyssa...she will treasure this...

Sue:  I am so glad for your signs from Michelle and the dreams that brought her to your niece and your sister.  I too have heard that they know what is happening, and have heard stories of signs people have gotten to let them know this.  Re the photo posting, if you sign on to a program called Photobucket (PHOTOBUCKET.COM), which is free (unless you want a lot more space), you can load up your photos to it, then you can click on the last line of code under the picture (I think it says img and then the code).  YOu copy the code and paste it into your post.  Then you can shrink your screen with BI, go back to the Photobucket site, copy another code, and paste it into you post.  If you have any problems or questions you can pm me.  good luck.

Dee:  Will continue to keep Jon in my prayers....I agree so much about the positive energy that others praying for you can create...I know that all of the prayers said for Mike, before and after he was diagnosed, are truly what led him down the path he was supposed to be on, and led him to a happier life, and a more positive experience for him to live his final days.  I know that may sound weird, as of course, his living his final days was not a good thing, but he did it in a good way, and I believe it was the positivity of those prayers that aided him in this. 

I am so sorry, also, for all of you who had a terrible experience at the most terrible time of your life---making final arrangements for your precious child.  We were blessed with having had caring, loving and kind people, both at the funeral home and at the cemetary.  The people who did the stone for Mike had lost a 17 year old son a couple years before, and were totally understanding and caring.  Our parish priest was new to our parish, the week that Mike became confined to bed, and he came to the house and was so very much "there" for us, came to the wake, came to the memorial service the next day, and he still shows he cares and is aware that we are still grieving this loss of our only son...one of the first things he said to me, the week after Mike's services, was to tell me that he was so very sorry the loss of our son, Mike, but that I must try to remember "You know where he is, and though he isn't here, he is in a good place" as he put his arms around me in comfort.  The words may sound hollow to some, but they rang in my heart and lifted my spirits, even if only for that day.  Although I know this was not planned by the staff, nonetheless it brought a skip to our hearts when at the cemetary, on the day that Mike's stone was placed, we were there, and when the caretakers came over to place the stone, we looked up and they were both wearing Red Sox shirts!  I know that brought a smile to Mike's face, and we kind of took it as a sign that Mike was approving of how things were being done.  Mike's older two boys were very excited about seeing the Red Sox shirts on the guys placing their dad's stone.  Then, as if to make sure we knew he was with us, on the way out of the cemetary, a red vw drove by as we got to the corner....Tears fell, but were tempered by the small smile in my heart over Mike's timely signs. 

Thinking of you all as always...

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

[mikesmomrs]

I came across this pic when I was photo "weeding," something I need to do much more of...this is Mike with his two older boys, Kam, on the left, and Chandler, on the right, shortly after Kam was born.  Mike looks so young and so happy...he rarely flashed a wide, happy smile like that, but these boys would always bring it out of him...I am so glad that they know how much he loved them.

love and peace,  carol  mikesmomrs

[heartbeataway]

Sue,

I use Photobucket and can upload multiple pictures.  Just copy the link and paste it into your posting.

I think Carol shared this idea with me many months ago.

Works like a charm!

Bonnie

[heartbeataway]

Love the poem you wrote Kathy ......

[mysonrich]

Lorri and Trudi, too funny. I'll keep those ideas in mind.

Also following the story of the little girl lost. Heartbreaking for all, the scenes on TV are just so gut wrentching. As some have said,she is now at peace, something those involved with the ending of her short little life,hopefully never have.

Running late. I wanted to see if Photobucket was as easy as 1..2..3

Here goes..Wildwood NJ again aka the shore. down the street from our cousins place. We called Rich Bubba.

 

oh well..late late late

[shellbellsmom]

[align=left]Carol and Bonnie, thanks for the info on posting multiple pictures. And Carol love the photo of your Mike... he is gleaming from the love of his two boys. 

[/align][align=left]These pictures are from my neck of the woods Ada, Michigan which is just outside Grand Rapids about 9 miles[/align][align=center]Here is a picture of downtown Grand Rapids, Michigan, the river is the Grand.

[/align] [align=center]

[/align] [align=center] Here is a picture of Grand Haven which is just 30 minutes from our house.  Our family loves going here to walk the pier...in better weather though

[/align] [align=center]

[/align] [align=center]I live in a town called Ada...if you ever heard of Amway the headquarters are about 1/2 mile from my house and right next to the cemetery

[/align] [align=center]

[/align] [align=center]Here is the covered bridges by our house.  1st one is downtown Ada and the other one is a few miles down the road. 

[/align] [align=center]

[/align] [align=center]

Here is our closest beach on Lake Michigan (30 mins.) a favorite summertime place for my daughter and her friends to hang out at. 

Here is Ada Park where our daughters memorial bench, and tree are located.  We go here all the time to walk our dog and to relax in the beauty of our favorite park.

[/align][align=left]So here is just a little taste of where I live and where my daughter called home for 10 years.  Take Care everyone, Sue

[/align] [align=center] [/align]

[hotrod]

_{Carol and Greg  Love the pictures of Brian and Mike with their Babies. They both looked so very happy.  Thanks for sharing their happiness.}

 

_{Trudi  Forgot to mention how cute ZAK looked with his football.  Great little guy.}

 

_{Dee Loved the pictures of Downtown Chicago.  I Love Chicago. Have been their often in the 90s. Have been holding good thoughts for your son.}  

 

_{Sue Loved the pictures of Ann Arbor.  It looks beautiful.  Covered bridges are my favorites!!I have never been to Ann Arbor but have spent many Business Trips in  downtown Detroit. I really like this idea of pictures from where we all live.}

 

_{Betsy  WILDWOOD NJ  I spent many many weekends in  my WILD Youth in th 70 s in Wildwood, NJ.  Still looks as if it is a party town!!}  

 

_{Bonnie Jason's spcial part of the world is very special. I hope you are holding up}

 

_{Marcia  Rst and take care of yourself.  Holdinmg good thoughts for your reocvery}

 

_{Beth Keep finding and sharing those wonderful pictures.}

 

_{I hope everyone has a peaceful day.}

 

_Betty

_{Stephen'smom:)}

[shorty16]

Hello my BI friends

Just a short note.  Today is Aaron Peter Jackson's 16th Birthday.

16 years ago today, I drove myself to the hospital and Scott met me there.  He was a blonde baby boy.

So hard to believe he is 16

Colleen

[heartbeataway]

[align=center]Happy Birthday AJ! 

[/align]

[hotrod]

AJ

[daveydow1]

Kathy---What a lovely poem you have written from  your heart. May

sweet Jessica's smile warm your heart today & always.

Carol----The pic of Mike & his little boys shows plainly on his face how

delighted he is to be their father. Thanks for posting.

Beth---Zachy's pic is just so precious.

Sue---I'm glad that your sister had such a lovely dream of Michelle, and

that she shared it with you. There's definitely a positive message there

from up above in Michelle's realm.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY  A.J.

           Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry

[nicksdad]

p.s. You probably won't get this exact car

[Guest]

Hello, Indigo's....beyond....

I just don't have the motivation to try to remember everyone's names.  I'm sorry.  I've tried to post separately and scroll down so I could say something to each of you, and try to feel apart of, but I keep losing my place and forget what I'm saying.

And, I keep deleting everything I write.  So, I guess I'm just holding my place with you all while I breath in and out one moment at a time. 

The ambien didn't work.  My doctor said I need to give it more than just one try. 

Wishing you all a better day.

[ericasmom]

Susannah, I like being an INDIGO, so no worries please about getting to know us each right now, we can be collectively the INDIGOS, and you are one of us. I wish that you were not for obvious reasons, but you are. I have heard that it takes a while before Ambien works as a sleep aide. I think it may take a week for some. My friend likes Lunesta.

For me, at this point in my life, I have sleep issues from hormones and from stress and worry. I have always had bouts of insomnia, which when or if it gets too out of hand, I figure it is time to see my therapist.

Love the photos of Mike Carol, and Sue, I love the covered bridges. What a quaint village. I also cried at the sound of Grand Haven being a half hour away, we went there each year, there and Ludington and Sleeping Bear Dunes and Traverse City as well as other lovely towns that dot the western edge of Michigan. I have not been back for so long now. I went to Grand Rapids for federal court in the lawsuit against Amtrak, it is a fine little city. The river is lovely. With Eri and Jon living in Kalamazoo Michigan, they often took beach trips to Grand Haven as young adults. Good memories.

[arc4ever]

Sue - Ada is beautiful!  You have a lovely area to call home.

And I laughed at the Amway headquarters photo - as soon as you mentioned Ada, I knew exactly where you are located.  My parents sold Amway for several years in the 70's and we made several trips to the headquarters (and every family 'vacation' was an Amway convention!).  I'm a little bitter about the business, I feel like it took a great deal of my parent's time away from their children (there were meetings almost every night and every weekend, it took a toll on our family), but they were trying to make a better life for us and I do believe that is where my PMA came from (For you who do not know PMA it stands for Postivie Mental Attitude) Positivity was (and maybe still is) a big thing in Amway - maybe my struggle to keep a PMA is what keeps me going some days it was so ingrained into us as children.

The covered bridge and the beach and the park where you daughter's bench is located is just gorgeous.  My husband is a big State of Michigan fan (and we are in Ohio).  He loves the beaches there, I'm starting to think he might be right!

Love Terrie (Adam's mom)

[arc4ever]

Marcia, I just scrolled back and saw your picture with Bethany at your mother-daughter vacation.  Wow, how incredibly beautiful.  Such wonderful memories to hold near and dear.

Love, Terrie (Adam's mom)

[mysonrich]

The Cape May- Lewes Ferry. Rich and I took a day trip the early spring 2008. We took the ferry from Delware to NJ. I had pictures but can't find them. That was the day the seagull chased him for his french fries.

The College of New Jersey, about .25 miles form our home. Rich loved to ride his bike  with his freinds here and talk to the students at times.

 

Betty , that picture was taken after Rich died, 7/2009. his sister took it. I guess she saw that as her sign.

Sue, how could I forget a 16 hour drive? I have been to your state. Here is a pic of the hotel I stayed in with family members. 

 

[mysonrich]

AJ.........

[shellbellsmom]

Happy Birthday to AJ too....sweet 16, does that still apply to boys?

Terrie, sorry about bringing up a sore spot with you....Even though I live just a stones through away for the Headquarters I think I only know one employee who works there.  I do know a few "Quick Star" (that's what they call the sales program now) people.  It's kind of a joke around here (Sorry if I offend  anyone here that may sell their products) that once you become a agent of theirs you lose all your family and friends.  They get rather possessive and its always Amway or no way.  I am sure their products are good or they wouldn't be around still.    Regardless, the owners have done wonders for our community and are extremely generous with their fortunes. 

Betsy I definitely recognize the Grand Hotel on Mackinaw Island.  That's about 4 hours from us.  We have been on the island many times and I have some great photos when we took my kids when they were younger.  Love the ferry photo...I have never been to the NJ coast before.  The closest was NYNY as a teen.  One of these trips we plan on going out east to do some more exploring.  Been to Baltimore and DC though and PA is a beautiful state....just don't care for the expressways there....I don't like the barriers on the sides of them.  I need shoulders. 

Take CAre, Sue

[mikesmum]

I so love these pictures.......I love the idea of being an INDIGO ~ part of a worldly wise group that found me and continues to heal me.

Love the covered bridges.  My only other concept of these was in the movie Bridges of Madison county.  My love for the ocean and all things water is drawn to the images, ahh for a passport and a Winnie!!!!  Am I really toooooo old to backpack around the US??!!  

With each picture and story attached there is more told of the children we hold in our hearts and the lives they share with us.

Pls keep them coming ~ thank you all for participating.....

Hint - photobucket link for pasting into the posts here begins with IMG not http.

Colleen - Just imagine you in the Suburan moving thru traffic on the way to giving birth (lol).......have a magical day with your boy..

Happy Birthday AJ ~ 16 and counting...........

 

[mpsmom]

[align=center]:dude:Happy Birthday AJ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  :dude:[/align]

[lolynbo]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AJ...

SO I DONT NO HOW TO TAKE THIS...WERE HAVING A SMALL PROB AT (YOU NO WHERE I WORK TUES AND THURS)...THERE IS ONE GIRL (WOMAN) WHO TENDS TO TAKE OVER AND PICKS UP CLOTHES (MOSTLY CRAP) AND TAKES CARE OF PAPERWORK TYPE STUFF...

SHE HAS THE DEBIT CARD AND WANTS TO SPEND WILLY NILLY...IF SOMETHINGS ON SALE SHE WANTS TO BUY IT...(THIS IS ALSO THE ONE I WAS NOT HAPPY WITH ABOUT THE "LEGAL NAME" OF OUT NONPROFIT)..IF YAL REMEMBER...SHE HAS BEEN HEARD SAYING SHE FEELS THAT "LORRI AND TERRI" ARE GAINGING UP ON HER..."...AND STUFF LIKE "I DONT LIKE HANGING UP AND GOING THREW THE CLOTHES SO I DONT" (WELL HELL WHO DOES LIKE GOING THREW NASTY CLOTHES, SOMETIMES).

SO WHAT IM SAYN IS SHE DONT DO MUCH AND SHE (ELECTED HERSELF PRESIDENT)...SO ANYWAY..WE HAVE HER AS A PROB..

AND ANOTHER GIRL "TERI" AND I  ARE THERE ALL THE TIME AND WE GET ALONG PRETTY WELL AND ARE ON THE SAME PAGE...BUT THERE IS ANOTHER WOMAN NAMED "MARY" WHOS SAID TO "TERI" "I THOUGHT YOU DIDNT LIKE LORRI"....IM LIKE WTF IS THIS TERRI AND I ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT CAN BE COUNTED ON TO SHOW UP EVERYDAY...

THESES PPL JUST REALLY GET TO ME...ALL I NO IS IM THERE TUES AND THURS MORN AND I WORK AND HANG AND GO THRW CRAP..AND GOOD STUFF AND DO MY JOB AND HELP PPL..THEN I GO HOME...IM NOT GONNA FIGHT WITH THESE CHICKS...ITS IN MY DAUGHTERS MEMORY AND I WANT HER TO BE PROUD OF ME NOT TO FIGHT..

OK IM DONE

[mpsmom]

All the pictures of their home areas are wonderful, most are placdes I have never seden.  I too relate the covered bridges to the movie, ( one of my fav movies)   .  No Trudi you are not too old to backpack around the US, we have some wonderdul 'hostels' around the states.  Bethany and I talked about doing it when she was younger and it was still cool to hang out with mom.

Carol, Absolutely love the pic of Mike and his HUGE smile holding his baby boys in his lap, what a treasure to find this pic. 

To all my other Indigos, I am hanging in there, most days are non productful and more and more depressing.  I am not one to be sitting still.....3 weeks...it is absolutely ENOUGH.  One more week til the dam cast comes off and hopefully I will at least be able to walk out on to the front porch and also to drive.....it is making me CRAZY.  Spend my days working and internet shopping for property in Puerto Vallarte, I am ready.....  wish we could relocate tommorrow. 

 BIGS HUGS to everyone.  Marcia    Bethanys mom forever

 

[mikesmomrs]

 

[align=center]HAPPY BIRTHDAY AJ...KNOW THAT YOU ARE LOVED BY SO MANY!!!![/align]

[align=center] [/align]

[align=left]LOVE AND PEACE,  CAROL  MIKESMOMRS[/align]

[mikesmum]

Marcia - Thinking of you as you count the days down to 'freedom'.  Know the feeling about the 'get me out of here'.  I keep looking at places near the ocean with rainforest surrounds.....a million bucks and retirement, not much to ask for.

Found this place to stay, not sure its a hostel, but heck I think I would like!  History, location and water.....

http://www.grandhotel.com/hotel.html     Oh yeah

[hotrod]

Hi Betsy   I loved  all the pictures and the story of Rich and his Fries.  I have taken the Cape May Ferry several times.  I  really enjoyed watching the Sea Gulls chase any one with French Fries or food of any sort. 

One Day  I watched a young man who was  standing with a Hot Dog in his hand have it stollen out of the bun in a blink.  He was so surprised!!! Rich at least defended his Fries;).  

Trudi  I love that Hotel  Maybe our next year reunion place!!!    

Terri thanks for the background on Amway.  I was not aware that they were still around and I do understand the idea of maintaining a PMA

I believe this formum allows me to grieve , own my profound sadness but still strive for a reasonable" PMA "  Thanks to all of you.

Lorri  You are doing a great job at the Shop  It was your idea and your daughter's name.  Ignor the petty politics and focus on being who you are with dignity.

Last thought "I too like to be known as one of The  Indigos"

Betty

Stephen'smom:)