Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 2, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 Gretchen.....love, love that pumpkin story.....I sometimes think there are situations that come into my life that seems to have a liking to John David's dry wit.....was it a coincidence that there you were....going to check out the resting place...and see pumpkins all over.....I can only imagine the bazaar look to it all....what a way for a SONshine boy to get his Mama to smile. I think my GRANDchildren were 90% of the reason for me doing anything that was in keeping with the season this year...because of the dread...I was dragging along. Pibby is now 12.....Wyatt John lives 2 hours away....maybe I should put an ad in the paper stating I will baby-sit for free a 4 year old boy or girl !! Those little hands have a lot of healing in them. Sandy....for 2015....I think that is the most important lesson I learned 'hard'.....and a lesson learned hard is a lesson learned well.....'that it is ok ..not to be ok'......it gave me permission to be 'sad' when I felt like being sad.....being 'quiet' when the grief came and sat beside me....being 'alone' when I needed to balance my inner compass and regain my 'faith'.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted January 2, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 2, 2016 Two steps forward one step back, one step forward, five step back gx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted January 3, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 3, 2016 It is true Georgina, two stepsforward, many back and on like that for all time, but what we need to see is we got off the mark, no matter how many backward falls, we are still going forward. Those steps forward will one day show you how far you have come, you will be able to see and feel that effort and work you put into living in this world and you should be very proud of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 3, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 3, 2016 I think that is the dance of grief....each day we rise....time is moving forward....but time will have a different kind of 'feel' to it....time as I lived it.....became very surreal....sometimes it is like I walk a little above the earth home...not like I am floating...just have another way of finding my foot hold. You are delivered into this 'woulda- shoulda- coulda' kind of existence....or in a 'guilt-regret' mode...it takes a lot of gentle self- care to bring yourself out of that bitter kind of world.....now I understand so much more how some parents get trapped in that crevice..and they are the hard, bitter and angry parents. I never want to be like that. I am not like that. But, I can understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted January 3, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 3, 2016 Georgina, thank you for sharing the song. For me, there are times when the edges are not so sharp on this journey...but I think I will always have those trigger moments. It comes down to a dull resignation for me... Moving past year 3 is a different kind of feeling...a changing perspective, the sharp realization of what my life is now without my son here on this earth plane to share simple moments with...some kind of footing has been gained, though it is not like it once was... I am considering working again as I move along here....Benton is almost 3 now, so I can enroll him in the local preschool...just thoughts at this point though... Gretchen, how fitting you would include a spot for Ashlie on your son's site. Very beautiful gesture. Dee, we have about 12 inches of snow here but the roads are clear. I was actually able to wash down my car today. I remember in Chicago it was always so breezy because of Lake Michigan, do you have that where you live? Susan, it seems like you have had a lot of company coming and going... Sending warm thoughts out to everyone here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 3, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 3, 2016 Laurie....I have had wall to wall people/company/friends/family.....today I only have Hunter Bear and Marquess watching football....I needed this breather....for sure.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted January 4, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 Wow Laurie, we don't have that much snow but what we do have is icy and hard. I went out to the cemetery yesterday and walked around the the sunny cold landscape... Winter in the Cemetery Something about a cold snowy windswept cemetery-the quiet and shadows served my heart well- shadows walked along with me, bent to read when I did...as I crunched through the crusty ice covered ground. Markers stood as testament to generations of one tribe,but my Daughter's stone was hidden,flat into the frozen dirt coveredwith icy snow, I went to the spot I guessed as hers,a slight depression there, a bluish cast to the snowand I wrote her name with my gloved fingers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 4, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 Dee....the way you wrote that poem....I felt like I was in that landscape with you.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 4, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 Laurie.....here we are on our 4th year of the grief journey without Jesse David and John David....I am feeling like the 'shock suit' doesn't fit as tight....but am reluctant to open all the portals of all the memories just yet.....I know I need more layers of healing. At times....some thoughts will settle in and I have to put a stop to them....or get mired down and then I go down. I am much like Scarlette.....'I will think about that tomorrow'..... you say you may go back to work.....as you know....I own a small apartment complex....and that is the one thing I can do is run it....I was a workaholic before John David left....and I think I will 'work' til....who knows. But my apartments are not a 9-5 job....my office is in my house....I am very strict who lives there so I have no problems at all with my tenants....I maintain them so I hardly have any calls....I have a great support group...in that I have my plumber, electricians, appliance and air conditioner companies that I use and they are there when those problems come up. We got a great offer last summer from someone who wanted to buy them....1.1 million and cash.....but I was not ready to let go of them. Daniel wants to sell them so we can do 'other' things.....but I don't want to do 'other' things....I will go to Port Aransas. I just don't have enough heart to travel about, yet. For me.....my work is important....I love to give people a beautiful place to live when they either don't want to buy a house or they don't have enough money for that house....some just don't want the responsibility that goes into homeownership. Like my 4 Golden Girls. I so love taking care of some of their needs.....like moving furniture....helped one to buy a new TV...Daniel helps one with her computer problems. They are very fierce about being independent. Work is beautiful to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members zsuzsi Posted January 4, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 http://www.indianapolismonthly.com/longform/dear-kate-living-with-grief/Dears,Im from the "loss of a parent" team. I've come across the above article today, it was a good read. I thought I d share it with you.My 81 year old Grandma lost her daughter too last year July. Her daughter was my precious Mother, my best friend, my joy in life. I was 7months pregnant with her first grandchild when she passed away suddenly and unexpectedly due to doctors' negligence.... My life shuttered into million pieces.Meanwhile last September I become a mother of a baby girl but it is an inexplicably hard task to do without my sweet Mom...I follow your thread too. Reading your stories, your supportive words for each other is somehow helps me too in my daily struggle.Best regards and hugs.Susie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted January 4, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted January 4, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 It is true Georgina, two stepsforward, many back and on like that for all time, but what we need to see is we got off the mark, no matter how many backward falls, we are still going forward. Those steps forward will one day show you how far you have come, you will be able to see and feel that effort and work you put into living in this world and you should be very proud of that. [/quoteDee thank you for your support I thought and thought about what you have said here and already I can see how far I have come. I've been struggling so much just wanting to give in, give up trying with all my heart to keep going be strong. I have so much to be thankful for I know but the grief controls me every day I was so close to James we did so much together and I really miss that. As he still lived at home I was so used to him being here coming in from work, getting up for work. I miss his smile and his smell as he breezed through the house he was kind, caring and such fun just full of life. I miss that. XxYour poem is just beautiful X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted January 4, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 Laurie that's what I struggle with so much ' the triggers' just so many everyday everywhere. The worst is the the ' truck' association every time I see one I relive every moment. I still have moments where I just don't believe it's true. I think the first anniversary was the start of the reality for me. Thanks Laurie gxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted January 4, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 Hi All, today I went back to my Third Grade Class and it was a great day, though I am bone-tired as were the kids by days end. One little guy fell deeply asleep while we talked about our new years resolutions. Thanks for your compliments for the poetry, it is my heart talking. Prayers for the families that are waiting at the edge of a pond in Wisconsin where 4 young men from New Trier High School, north of Chicago, went into the water from a capsized canoe this weekend. They went out at 2:30 in the morning after a night of drinking and wore no life jackets because boys and girls in their earliest 20's don't think anything bad is going to happen...All 4 drown in the icy water. Lord and Angels,help the families of these 4 souls-who with the help of Angels have found Heaven... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted January 4, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 Georgina, I am glad that you caught a glimpse of your path, the work it has taken to get where you are today...yes, there are times it seems impossible to go on, and we wonder why we should and want to give up, but that person we mourn so deeply would have us keep climbing up this steep hill to find a way to stand where he/she no longer can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted January 4, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 Hello to all INDIGOS-----I've been off the site for awhile......been under theweather, but I think I'm on the mend now. I was thinking about everyone hereat BI, and how difficult the holidays can be----especially for those going intoall the 'firsts'. I then thought......after losing a child or a loved one,......there isa whole year of 'firsts'.......not just holidays, but lots of other firsts too. Wishing everyone peace & comfort. Dee-----Thank you for the "Winter in the Cemetery" poem. Such true and heartfeltwords. We will have to return to the cemetery to get the Christmas trees/wreathsoff Dave, Lisa, and my dad's graves. It's getting lots colder here now,....with justa dusting of snow on the ground. I ventured out to the grocery store today. Youcan only stay cooped up for so long. We had a pretty quiet holiday...but, asusual....I'm relieved that it's over with. How's your grandies? Bet they enjoyedChristmas. Little ones bring joy to the heart. Georgina----I , so, know what you mean when you said that James lived at home,and is missed so much. David also lived at home with his dad and me. He hadlived in his own apt. for several years, but lost a good paying job due to thecompany closing its doors. While he found another job, it didn't pay as well, We asked him to come back home. When he passed, it's as you said, that itis excruciating to see all their things around, and just their very presence on aday-to-day basis. So very painful. I'm hoping that your pain & sorrow willsoften some as the time goes by. Someone on this site once said that everyday/year that goes by, we are that much closer to seeing our beloved darlingswho left this world too soon. Laurie----thanks for the video you posted. So sorrowful for that mom & family.Yikes! you have 12 inches of snow! We only have a 'dusting' of snow right now,but could get more in the coming days/weeks. Susan-----Yes, I agree......losing a child makes one go into the 'dance of grief'.A dance that is unwanted, and exhausting.....no matter how long we've been onthis road. Grandies sure do help the soul...especially at the holidays. Thanksfor the screen shot. It's so true. Sandy----Good to see your post. I hope you are doing ok. Kate-----I agree that the pain of loss of a beloved child is not as acute as inthe beginning. As Dee said, I guess that the love & memories of these dearones wrap around us , and soothe and help to keep the pain from piercingas much. Nice that you & your husband had a quiet and peaceful holiday. WISHING ALL INDIGOS PEACE AND TRANQUILITY. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sholl1955 Posted January 4, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 Susie,Thank you so much for the link.. It is such an accurate description of our journey.Sandy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 5, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 5, 2016 Susie.....thanks for sharing......I read your story yesterday and it brought a lot of thoughts to my heart....and the way you wrote it.....'my Grandmother's daughter....my Mom'......that speaks volumes in that you know how the grief is shared....someone lost a child....someone lost a Mama....I find that there are so many ways grief touches everyone....I have to admit that I did not 'see' the deep grief my other children were feeling..in losing their brother until I came up for 'air'....the shock suit fit so very tight.... Many on this site know how very important and helpful a Mama can be for their child...having their first child...I remember when I had Randa.....I had many hands to help me....and it was still daunting.....no clever magazine story ever...ever.....told the true story. Does your Mother-in - law help you ? I helped my son and family when they had babies....We all know how deep your grief is.....and we are here to hear you.....if we share a word or words....we pray it helps you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 5, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 5, 2016 Sherry.....I hope you are on the road to better....we finally had some cold temps in South Texas.....wish we could have had them at Thanksgiving and Christmas...it was 85 degrees.....sigh.... The poem by Dee spoke volumes to the many parents that make that trip...that visit to the resting place...who would ever think they would have to visit their beloved child there ? That taking a small ornament or tree is the only thing they could do....for their child. I consider all of you as very, very brave.I had John David cremated....I could not face putting him in the deep earth. But....I have a back story to that and will share later....have lots to do today.....thankfully.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 5, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 5, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted January 6, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2016 Susan-----thanks for your best wishes. I'm slowly getting better....(although we always want recovery to be faster... ) Wow....85 degrees in Dec. It is strange weather patterns this winter.Thanks for the screen shots. They always say it so well. Dee----Oh what an awful tragedy......Prayers for the families of the 4 youngpeople who drowned in the icy waters. And prayers for theirjourney into heaven. Very sad thing to happen. Yes,....youngexuberant 20 year-olds mostly always feel invincible. Maythey rest in peace. Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted January 6, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2016 Susie, I am sorry you are missing your Mom...a hard relationship to let go of especially at this time, but I am here to say, that there will remain a bond between you and your Momma, a relationship of a different sort. No, not what you pictured and often not what would be the very best thing...but there she will be nevertheless, in her new way watching over you and your young one. Loving you the whole way through each day. She will pat you on your back and beam her pride on you and it will be in the quietest of moments that you may catch a sweet sense of her presence with you. I know how very sweet that feels. Sherry, did you have the flu or some other kind of bug? I have two cases of strep in the room and I imagine if we had been in school last week, there would be way more...You take good care of you! The weather going up and down probably does not help you. Yes the case of the 4 young men is so very sad... turns out my cousin's children know one of the families, same neighborhood and school. My cousin said the town is in deep grief.I did not decorate the gravesite this year...every time I do, so much disappears so I just visit and maybe in the spring will leave a banner of some sort for Erica's birthday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 6, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2016 Dee....all our Texas children went back to school today.....my Hunter Bear and Taylor will be facing the last 4 months of their school years....my daughter does know this....she is beyond anxiety....facing a big...hugical house....that will only have one...our Pibby....coming up....if time were not a moving thing and I could make it stay........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 6, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2016 I so love this from Maya Angelou.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted January 6, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2016 Dee, how your poem reminded me of the picture that Wade posted that time...he took a picture of Brooks resting spot...and you could see his footprints in the snow that trailed on back...my sister also has a flat marker...it is hard to find in the Winter...but my mom always knows just like you do...It was a very moving poem Dee, thank you for sharing, and sharing the life of your daughter, Erica.... Georgina, thinking of you today. Have you done any more with the group Road Peace? How are things going on your case? Dianne, good to see your son Michaels smiling face. Many of us talk to our children, it does help. I feel that Jesse hears me still, until my tasks here are done. About paid work....I am working for a friend, helping with office tasks. She recently faced a very serious illness but I think she is going to be okay. Fortunately, I started to train a bit before this happened. Susie, thank you for posting the article and for thinking of us all here. Grief knows no boundaries, so if it helps you a bit by reading along here, it is a healing thing. Sherry, hope you are feeling better, we caught a nasty chest cold and my husband actually stayed home from it. Lots of tea drinking for us. Are you planning a garden this year? Sandy, good to see your post. Susan, so there are two graduations this year? I can see why Randa has anxiety. Change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 6, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2016 Yes Laurie....Hunter Bear and Tay ...(our fraternal twins) ..are graduating.....we went to their house on New Years Eve...just a small gathering of friends......and George was talking about how quick it seemed to go.....they are facing them leaving for college....and they will only have Pibby....in this huge..huge home....he is seriously thinking of selling it....I reminded him of our huge homes and that the boys would bring many friends from college....that they still come home....Hunter Bear is thinking of going to Ole Miss....sigh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted January 6, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 6, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted January 7, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2016 Hi Laurie we now has a solicitor supporting us for free at the moment. He's already investigating but has warned us that this is going to be slow and arduous. I feel relief that someone has listened to us but devistated that it seems the police have gravely let us down. It seems everyone was against James that day and I don't understand why. Thank you gxxSherry we are so similar in our losses with both the ages and gender of our precious children. I still go to James's grave every single day we get the signs there and can feel a calm peace there. I was going to attempt sorting through the loft this Christmas, James has a lot up there but I just couldn't face it. GxxThanks Dee you always say it how it is, how we feel. GxxPeace to all G xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted January 7, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2016 I thought I would share this. Much Love xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted January 7, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2016 Becky----- Thanks for that screen shot. It is so true for you, andfor others here at BI who have lost a beloved child because ofsomeone's stupid negligence.....and no apology given by theones responsible........they just seem to go on their merry old way. Dee------ Sorry that things disappear from ERi's grave. We havebeen lucky with that. The cemetery is in a small town, and thepolice are pretty vigilant at patrolling the area. Strep is especiallybad. I don't think that I have had that......no sore throat, fever etcfor me. Just the nasty cold/cough/achey stuff. I hope I have iton the run with all the steps I've been taking. Not going to theDr. He just shrugs,....tells me to do what I already know to do,and the front desk says... $$ Please. Yes, the variable weatherpatterns do seem to cause people to contract these nasty bugs. Susan----- With the twins graduating in a few months, your daughter& husband are facing the empty nest syndrome. Kids do grow upquickly, don't they? Tomorrow is my youngest daughter's birthday......seemsimpossible she'll be 37. Laurie----- Hope you and your husband recover from the nasty colds.Yep-----lots of tea.... (I use local honey with it), is good for chest colds, andthat's what I've been drinking too. WISHING PEACE AND COMFORT TO ALL INDIGOS, AND MAYBE ALITTLE DREAM OF ALL YOUR ANGELS. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted January 7, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 7, 2016 Sherry, glad that you are on the mend. Yes, I know it is amazing to think of time and ages of our Kids. Your Daughter turning 37 and one wonders how did that just happen, blink! How is she doing by the way? Teaching and enjoying the experience? I have a young lady coming in today, actually two of them, one will be my student teacher and she is my Son's age, 34, and one who is 20 and a junior in college who needs 60 hours of observation...I hope she sees how much a teacher learns each day...on the job learning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members andy88 Posted January 8, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 8, 2016 Hello Friends Old and New, Just dropping by to say hello and send some love. In February it will be 5 years since I lost my Andy. Can it really be 5 years??? It seems like a million years ago. It seems like yesterday. Life is good again. I do a lot of advocate work now in honor of my son. It has really helped. I have joy again. I send my special thoughts to those who are new to the journey. You all remain close in heart and prayer. Love,Pam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 8, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 8, 2016 Pam.....thank you for sharing....many parents on this site will celebrate your love of life...and how you are carrying forward...you are one that is what I call a 'spirit guide'....one that is farther up the path...and can wave to all of us...and let us know we can survive...' thank you many of us aren't where you and others are....and we know it is ok....not to be ok.....we wonder how you got to where you are with your travels...?? Please...let us know.....we so want to know... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 8, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 8, 2016 I spent a lot of time this morning thinking of the word..'faith'.....being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see...... I pray.....that all the reading I have done of NDE's.....is true.....that my SONshine boy is a part of every SONrise and SONset...and he is 'ok'.....I simply know he does miss his Mama.... Mary Neal talked about having this 'ultimate trust'.... Dee says we learn to stand in their light... The "Missing You" becomes a part of the fabric of my life....like some form of osmosis....it seeps into every pore... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted January 8, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 8, 2016 Pam, I am thrilled that you are doing the good work that you have found. That you now feel joy again is such good news, I know that you wondered if indeed you ever would. It takes a great deal of strength and patience and hope and equal parts of courage to get there. Happy Days to you. Susan, love and missing and grief do become part of our fabric, like skin, hair, nails, it is a part of who we are. That becomes later on, a force for the good, it is the way we learn to carry our dear ones with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted January 8, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 8, 2016 Just thought I would share this. REMEMBER THAT WE ARE DEFINED AS NEWLY BEREAVED FOR AT LEAST THE FIRST FULL FIVE YEARS. THERE IS TRULY AN INFANCY TO GRIEF AND THE “GROWING” STAGES THROUGH IT. BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF. DON’T TRY TO FIT INTO A TIMETABLE OR IMAGINARY SELF OR SOCIETALLY imposed “STAGES”. YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THE MOST HORRIBLE PAIN OF YOUR LIFE. HURTING IS VERY REAL. . ~ Bettie-Jeanne,Forever Robbie’s momXx Georgina xX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 9, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 9, 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members andy88 Posted January 9, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 9, 2016 Mermaid Tears (I'm sorry I don't know your actual name) Thank you for your kind words. How did I get to this point? You want to know the truth? Mainly this very site, Dee in particular gave me hope that life could be worth living again. I took my own sweet time grieving as I needed to (I decorated for Christmas this year for the first time in 5 years) and it really helped to share my pain with others who I knew understood. There are many grief sites. For me, many of them focused so much on what was lost but not a lot of hope or guidance was provided. The hope is what kept me going. Andy was my only child, so I made a big effort to stay in touch with his friends, and it made all the difference. I've pretty much "adopted" all of them. I will never have grandchildren, but...Andy's friends are having children now and I get first dibs on babysitting. So, in reality, I do have grandchildren. I see my son's light shine in light of children's eyes and it makes me happy. I leaned on those who were further down the path and I encourage you to do so too. You have to take a big leap of faith and believe that you will be ok. Not easy, but worth it! Sending you lots of love and encouragement. Oh, and I call Andy my SONshine too! Dee it's always so wonderful to read your words of wisdom, love, and encouragement. You make such a difference in so many lives. God bless your beautiful heart! Love,Pam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted January 9, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 9, 2016 Oh Pam....thank you so much for sharing..... today.....I had a Vet to come to my home to put asleep our Cowgirl...she was John David's dog....he 'let' us have her when he moved to an apartment that did not accept pets.....(I do not allow pets at my apartments).....she has been with us since 2004....so your words came at a very special and needed time for me.....I have 14 GRANDchildren....and yes...the light in their eyes give me much ....to carry on....there is a lot of healing in small hands.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted January 9, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 9, 2016 x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted January 9, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 9, 2016 x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted January 9, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 9, 2016 Dianne,Your feelings are totally acceptable. The beginning of the second year, the beginning of 2016, any one of these would bring grieving parents difficulty.We are here, who walked before you. Reality is slapping us in the face. The actual fact that our boys are angels. The head and heart are both crying.I made it through the second, third, 4,5,6,7 and will be 8th year....you can too.I understand how you feel. It is ok to feel this way, and I know the pain is unbearable...one breath at a time.Hugs to youColleen, Brian's Mom forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted January 9, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 9, 2016 x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted January 9, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 9, 2016 Pam, I would bet that you are the ULTIMATE Grammy with all of those babies coming from Andy's friends. Andy is their Guardian Uncle from Above and you are their Guardian on Earth. He must be shining that beautific smile on you, so proud of his Mom.Thank you for the kind words earlier today, I cried when I read them, so glad to have been a piece of your hope. Hope is the key I am quite sure, to healing our broken parts, and while they never quite fit together as they once did, I am convinced they fit together in ways that hold even more. Bless your sweet spirit and heart. Dianne, life goes on within us and without us...that song by George Harrison...and eventually we find our life by putting some old with the new and carving out a space in which to rest, and then we carve some more, rest and find a liking to finding new ways to be, to discover, to learn. None of it is what we planned, much of it is the hardest work you'll ever do, but one day, not today, maybe not for a long while, you will feel it is safe to be happy again. As Colleen and Laurie and Sherry and Susan have stated, it is okay to not be okay at this time. There are no rules to grieving other than not doing bodily harm to yourself. Grief is a process, it is one that has no linear pattern, be kind to you. You matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted January 9, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 9, 2016 tried to post the youtube of within and without you by George...didn't work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Everly Posted January 10, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 10, 2016 Here you go, George Harrison link Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted January 10, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 10, 2016 https://youtu.be/CbClim_aqdk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted January 10, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 10, 2016 Thanks Evelyn and thanks Becky, there are so many who have covered this song, I like the one you chose. How are you feeling Becky? How is the winter treating you this year? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted January 10, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 10, 2016 Sunny and cold cold here, down around 8 degrees, an icy cover on the branches all around. I wish you all a beautiful day, that a tiny bit of magic find its way in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted January 10, 2016 Members Report Share Posted January 10, 2016 Pam----- I agree with you---it seems like a million years after losing a child,and then again.....seems like only yesterday. The million years is themissing them,....the 'yesterday' is the depth of the heartache. So goodthat your have found a place to advocate in honor of your dear son, Andy. It takescourage to take this on, but a good feeling to be honoring your son. Dee----- It's getting cold here, and a light dusting of snow. Now, it looksa lot more like the Christmas season, which is behind us. I'm getting backto my old self....day by day. Seems to take so long. Becky is soonstarting her last semester with her student teaching. I'm sure your studentteachers will be able to gain so much from working with you in yourclassroom. I wish Becky could do her student teaching with you..... .She has a good positive attitude about it all......loves kids this age. Hercertification will be K through 3rd grade. Thanks for the Moody Bluessong. Always one of my favorite groups. We went to the cemetery todayto take the Xmas trees off the graves. It was raining when we were there;now, it has turned to snow. Not much accumulation expected. Lookspretty. Georgina---- thank you for sharing the insightful writing. It is so true. Dianne---Thanks for your kind words. When I first came on BI, I expectedto stay maybe several months, or possibly a year........but her I am goingon 13 years.....along with Dee. We followed in the 'footsteps' of all thewonderful people who were here when we came on. The people whogave us hope, and light when all was so dark for us. I remember onlysome of their names, but will always remember the kindness andunderstanding that they gave. Becky------Hope you are feeling better. Colleen----Good to see your post. Yep.....we go along a day at a time,but in the very beginning on this road.....it is often one breath at a time, as you say. Peace to you. WISHING PEACE AND COMFORT TO ALL INDIGOS. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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