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Just a few thoughts...

12/31/2020-My first New Year’s Eve without Dave. I have celebrated the last 5 with him. Now I sit here alone. 

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Daytona, Daytona, Daytona...

It’s that time of year again, NASCAR season is about to begin again. I love racing since I was a little girl. Growing up in Virginia it was all around me. My favorite driver was the “King” Richard Petty. Over the years, I have had to change favorites as they have retired and left the sport. The biggest race in NASCAR is the Daytona 500. It’s my favorite race of the year because it is always close to my birthday.  My partner and I got together in September of 2015. We spent some of our weekends


LBrown in Just rando thoughts

Expressing gratitude and regaining hope

I sat down last night a wrote out thank you cards to the caregivers at each of the hospitals that took care of my partner while he was ill with Covid. I had purchased the cards just a couple of days after his death but every time I sat down to write a note in them I was just overwhelmed and dissolved into a puddle of tears. But last night I was determined that I was going to get it done.  The card to the first hospital was easier to write than the second one. They had done a good job in taking


LBrown in Random thoughts

Lack of empathy

I have a really strange relationship with my daughter. She is 31 years old, married with 3 children. Her husband and I do not care for one another. He hold me responsible for a situation that happened the weekend of their wedding. I have apologized several times and have tried to re-establish a relationship with him for the sake of my grandkids. It was so bad that they denied me visitation to my grandkids because I refused to drop off the left over wedding supplies that they had agreed to come a


LBrown in Ramblings on any given day

Checking the boxes

Have you ever felt like you are just checking the boxes on how everyone wants you to feel? That sheet they hand you when you walk into a behavioral health office. That is how I have been feeling the past couple of days. That I have to put on a face to hide my inner feelings to go out and deal with the world. I’m still struggling going out in the real world. Struggling with keeping my emotions in check. The tears still come easily and unexpectedly. I ask myself, how do I keep doing this? I find m


LBrown in Ramblings on any given day

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