Have you ever felt like you are just checking the boxes on how everyone wants you to feel? That sheet they hand you when you walk into a behavioral health office. That is how I have been feeling the past couple of days. That I have to put on a face to hide my inner feelings to go out and deal with the world. I’m still struggling going out in the real world. Struggling with keeping my emotions in check. The tears still come easily and unexpectedly. I ask myself, how do I keep doing this? I find myself reaching for my phone numerous times a day to text him, or call him. Wanting to share something I’ve seen or heard. Only to remember that he isn’t there. And the tears flow again.