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momofJustin

Loss of an Adult Child

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Tbearw58   

I am hanging in there. The wife is about the sane with her MS. I also have a new grand daughter my daughter had 03/17/16 Olivia is her name she is so cute and smart. My sons best friends got married and now have a son and he is so cute also. 

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22528022_1426095240760321_1354277704778189263_n.jpgGrand daughter

22885885_1438540469515798_3716481191453744495_n.jpgDaughter and grand daughter

0912 098.JPGMy sons daughter and my dog

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Kate, murderize was a word by Daffy Duck or Elmer Fudd...love those old shows. Three stooges later took murderize as well.

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TBear--------Good to see your post. Thanks for all the beautiful pics.

 

Jean-----I'm sorry for your loss of your dear son, Wesley. You are very welcome to this site,

although, we know that it is one that no parent ever wants to be a part of. At this site, everyone understands the 

pain of losing a beloved child, and all the sorrow and the roller coaster ride that it takes us

on.  Please just come back, and read/post as you want to. 

 

Dee-----I do so hope that your cold is subsiding by now.  I  know, from my experience, that these

upper respiratory colds/coughs are a bear to get rid of.....they seem so persistent....despite all out methods

of fighting them.  My husband has had his cold (or whatever it is) for over a month now.  Last May,

the one I had lasted that long too......even with antibiotics.  I guess rest, and lots of fluids is about

the best we can do.  Take care.

 

Tina-----I agree.  The pain you are feeling is often when the shock effect on our minds is beginning to

drop away,  and the stark reality sets in without the shock buffer.  Please try to take care of yourself,

and come here to tell us how you are.  While words are not always helpful,  just know that we are

here for you, and are walking with you.

PEACE   TO   ALL.

Davey&Lisasmom,   Sherry 

  

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Ted, I have always loved the name Olivia. How precious can she be? I love the pictures that you shared. Who is the dog? Your Granddaughter's? I really hope that you are able to spend a lot of time with your kids. I'm sorry that your wife is still struggling so. I know that tomorrow is a special...oh so special day in your heart. We are holding you close.  

Dee, thanks...typical... I knew I had heard it somewhere. I loved hearing about the skating lesson. Sounds as if you may have a future Olympian in your family. So glad to hear you took a day to self care. Hope it made a significant difference.

Off to watch The Voice. Love to ALL,

Kate 

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I am watching the Voice as well, love the Voice except for the excessive commercials...Jennifer Hudson just may win this one...I love her first singer of the tonight, he is a super-wonderful-spirited person, love his voice and passion.
Yes, Kate, that little one is quite a force. I know that she loves her gymnastics lessons more than her skating, but together, those lessons are helping teach her how to strengthen her skills and allows her to compare and contrast two lessons in order to make decisions  in the future. I just look forward to going skating with Erica when she is ready to skate at public skate time...few more lessons should do it.

TBEAR, such great photos, and yes, tell us who is in each photo. Congrats on the new Grandchild. I take it that she is the brunette little toddler. Dolly girl. So Cute.I sure hope your wife is getting the treatment she needs. I am thinking of her as she loves on her grandgirl.

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Tbearw58   
4 hours ago, Jesse David & Taylor Mom said:

Ted, is the last picture of your daughter? 

That would be my grand daughter with the dog and my daughter in the witch's costume 

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Tbearw58   
4 hours ago, Jeff's Mom said:

Ted, I have always loved the name Olivia. How precious can she be? I love the pictures that you shared. Who is the dog? Your Granddaughter's? I really hope that you are able to spend a lot of time with your kids. I'm sorry that your wife is still struggling so. I know that tomorrow is a special...oh so special day in your heart. We are holding you close.  

Dee, thanks...typical... I knew I had heard it somewhere. I loved hearing about the skating lesson. Sounds as if you may have a future Olympian in your family. So glad to hear you took a day to self care. Hope it made a significant difference.

Off to watch The Voice. Love to ALL,

Kate 

Dog is mine

 

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TBear, hoping that the winds settle today so that you and your family can hear NICK whisper his love for you. Hoping your heart feels gentleness and a calm that only he can give.

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louann my email is no1mslesley@gmail.com  The offer to communicate privately to anyone who does not want to post publicly is open to all.

Tbear  sending peaceful thoughts to your family on this difficult day. I hope you can pass it in ways that are meaningful to you and Nick. Nce pics your grandaughters are adorable and it is nice to see some dads on the forum too. How many kids and grandkids do you have?

So today I lost it a bit in my local garden centre. They were playing xmas music which on the whole I can deal with (not Silent Night though.) but then they played "Walking in the air" from the animated movie "The Snowman" and tears fell. That is my favourite movie of all time. We have played it every xmas eve since my kids were born and I tear up every time when he melts. The little boy in it is ginger so it has always has specific meaning with Tommy and now that he has gone it breaks my heart more. You guys should all check it out it is a beautiful short movie which little kids/grandkids would love. So I was at the register luckily no on else there and I apologised and explained to the cashier. She was lovely her eyes filled and she said "I can't imagine how difficult that must be for you". She told me some of the ways her friend who lost a six yr old son 7yrs ago coped at Xmas which was nice, and hoped that I would be ok and that she would be thinking of me and treasuring her own children more. So some people can be very kind.

10fea318901b0aa6ce2bf509f61e3141.png.085963fb8af8c6ea87c8a29ffd18a5c8.png

 

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TBear.....thanks for sharing those photos....your 'girls' are gorgeous...and they have that 'happy living look' to them.....today marks an Angel Date for your boy....we so understand that this kind of day can play every emotion like a piano. I find that the most unbalanced way of being on this earth home is one of the trickiest to learn....

we have one foot in yesterday....another foot in today.....one foot in 'that was then'....another foot in 'this is now'.....our thought processes go back and forth...back and forth. We come to that fork in the road...(our life) where it can become a slippery slope....we can either make a choice to be our best....or become bitter.

We have a part of our heart in grief....another part in grateful blessings...I know those girls give you a 1,000 blessings a day. Thank you for coming back on the site to give us an update on your life and progress...am posting a song for you and all the parents....

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Somersky   

I’m having a tough day. I have to go through Skylar’s medical records for his abnormal ecg’s. It’s so hard. I still cannot believe he’s gone...

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Steve's mom.....we know how this day can produce waves and waves of longing...and portals open up to a kaleidoscope of memories. Let us know how you have been doing...and I wish you peace on this sacred day of remembrance of your Steve.

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STEVEN AND NICK, you both found this date as your leaving time,  and so I hope that together you send extra strength and hope to your families, Two Sons, Two Beautiful Boys whose families yearn after memories and pieces of your lives here. May you always know the love is endless just as we know your love is endless.

 

T-Bear and MaryAnne, we are holding your hands and hearts knowing what it is to travel yet another year here without the physical presence of your Boys. Beloved  as they are, they sit near, perhaps on your shoulder right now, your left shoulder closest to your heart, listening to your beat and thrum, living their lives to your rhythms.

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steve'smom I am sorry today is a hard day for you and that you find something meaningful in yet another year. I know it is still painful and always will be but you have made it this far probably not really knowing how you made it but here you are. I hope you are able to share more with us when the time feels right.

somersky going through skylar's notes will be hard, no doubt, but there may be answers there too. I do believe there is a right time for everything except losing our children and maybe now is the time you are strong enough to deal with more details. each difficult time lasts a little less and we are able to bounce back just a little quicker because we are strong and we are survivors. hang in there.

 

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Somersky, talk to Skylar as you go through the paperwork, ask him for help to get through it, ask him to hold your hand on this hard journey. He is there. I know reading the reports from the hospital was surreal to me, Erica lived 6 days never awake again, and each day, more devastation, less hope. The black and white of it is anything but...it leaves all that in between area, all the what-ifs and the how can this be? But the back and white of it tells us the facts, printed without emotion, without connection: female with nearly severed brain stem...broken jaw, broken neck, laceration above right eye...posturing of hands and feet due to brain damage, and many brain bleeds. All of those words, all of those observations told about what happened to a 19 year old girl/woman...but she was my Daughter. She loved Pink. She laughed loud and strong, she messed up in school, she had big hands, she loved to shop. She loved snowboarding and she dearly loved her brother and her friends. She was so much more than the medical reports. She was not black and white. Our Children will always be more than how they died. They will mostly be how they lived. Your Boy was a happy person. Remember when you are low, how he lived.

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Somersky   

Thank you for all the kind words. All of you are very special. Boy when those days come they come pretty hard ... I guess it’s only been 18 months

 

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Somersky, would it be helpful if you took Skylars medical records to a Doctor that could go over it with you and explain and answer your questions? We waited for what seemed an eternity to get the autopsy report. Our family Doctor called us in to review it with us. I do believe that I could not have handled it at that point if I had to see it full on. Unfortunately at the end he sadly added his own personal opinion. That has stayed with me each and every day for the past almost eight years. He looked at us and told us that there was no medical reason that our son had to die. We were and still are crushed. We can read books about grief, attend meetings, etc. At the end of the day it is about putting one foot in front of the other and finding a way to carry on despite their absence. Finally facing that they are gone is the most painful thing we will have to face. Once that happens we then begin the very difficult job of rebuilding our lives. It is a long and slow process and we will be forever changed because of what has happened. But take heart that slowly the initial raw grief will lift and the searing pain will be replaced by a dull ache. One that somehow you learn to carry. And life continues.

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Somersky, what a difficult task for you. A trying time but you WILL make it through. Skylar will be there beside you.  He will offer the quiet strength you need.Strength2.jpg.e3797c4078b48dafef0bb3f4fe4124e7.jpg

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Sherry. Thinking of you today as you have come to Lisa's angel date again. Many years have passed but im sure u remember like yesterday. I hope she touches your check or brushes your shoulder and lets u know she is still waiti g with her brother to see u again. I know your family isnt always there to remember but i hope u know im standing right there beside you on this day. Take care dear friend.

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