Loss of an Adult Child

[Guest]

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[shellykut]

Laurie - In the time you've been posting here I get such inspiration from you.

Dee - I believe everyone who reads your words gleans such hope, comfort, and love from them. You have a way of encouraging us and understanding us that gets right to the heart of the matter. Hope you're feeling a bit lighter.

Mike's Dad - A new baby boy...how super fantastic! Prayers for his sweet little heart!

Lora - hope your juice fasting produces the results you want. I wish I were regimented enough to attempt something like that...every day I fly by the seat of my pants...it's the ADHD!

Andy's Mom - good to see your post! Sounds like you've found a niche that fulfills you and good work it is!

Mermaid Tears - you spoke of not wanting to become bitter and critical. I have battled this off and on for sure! My brothers and sisters for the most part avoid me and other people in general too. I fight the urge to resent others whose lives haven't changed the way mine has...is that silly?

Becky - I want to yell from the Indigo rooftops: Good Job! You managed to achieve change in the speed limit...maybe not as much as hoped for, but change just the same. YOU GO GIRL!

Hope everyone here has a pleasant evening!

Love, Shelly

[daveydow1]

Sandy----I, so, know what you mean about having a tearful weekend this

Memorial Day. It sure does stir up a lot of emotions that are often just

barely below the surface, and the tears fall. Peace to you.

Laurie---Thanks for posting the poem & the pics.

Del----Sending thoughts & prayers for you in your difficult time.

Wishing you comfort.

Dee----What a nice visit you had with Jon & Shannon, and of course the

dear little "Pumpkin". I'm glad that you are done with the report cards

now. School systems sometimes do make odd schedules, don't they?

Our grapes got frosted once---pretty bad....then they seemed to revive

and show some nice new growth.......then they got hit with the next

killing frost, so I'm not sure if they will be able to rally back this time.

The length of the two arbors would make it impossible to cover them

in preparation for a frost. A winery in our area uses water spray to

ward off the frost, I believe. Of course that's their livlihood, so they must make

plans for the eventual possibility of frost. We had a nice rain last night

and today.....we needed it because the ground was so dry. Everything

looks refreshed now.

Lora-----I'm glad that your kitty, Salem, is doing better with the enzymes.

I had to give those to "Misty" when I first adopted her. She's doing well

now. Cats certainly can be 'picky' about their food. The old ads where

"Morris" was so persnickety about food is so true for a lot of cats.....most

have their little quirks about what they like and don't like. They're not

shy about letting us know, are they? I can so relate to your tears on

Memorial Day with the bagpipes playing Amazing Grace. We also selected

that hymn for Davey's funeral. Sure does make one get choked up and

teary. Peace to you, friend.

Susan----Thanks for the cute pics. Little Wyatt John looks like he was

totally enjoying being a 'water baby'. He sure is an adorable little guy.

Shellyku----I believe that the cornfield will be ok if we don't get anymore

frost on it. As for our grapes....who knows? We did get some much-needed

rain, though. I agree......not much anyone can do about the weather, except

to comment on it.

Kate----I'm glad that you had a nice weekend. I agree---things can get to be more

difficult when one gets a bit older. Not that things don't effect younger people.

My husband and I was just commenting the other day about how we had so

much more physical strength at a younger age, than now. I think we have gotten

a bit more inner strength, somehow. Life tosses us around, and makes us

play with the hand we're dealt, I guess. Continuing to send up prayers for your

husband's health. Peace & prayers, friend.

Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry

[JD's Mom, Becky]

It took 19 months to get DelDOT to change the speed limit by 5mph. Not holding our breath waiting for these "other things" they may or may not do. PLEASE SLOW DOWN!!

Posted this on FB today, and sent it to DelDOT. What am I going to do? Piss them off? No more than their indifference has done to me!

Hi Pam!! Good to see Andy's smiling face! Good for you getting involved in the drug programs, and great to hear the Good Samaritan law passed, which will help encourage someone who finds themselves in that predicament to take action! What a wonderful tribute to your son!

Mike's Dad, congrats on your new baby boy! I will pray for him.

Kate, Dee, Lora, Susan, Del, lifting you up in prayer as well!

[mysonrich]

hello Indigo's, I wanted to share a Memorial Day rememory with you all. For as long as I can remember and before, my aunt and uncle hosted a Memorial Day picnic. Everyone usually arrived after the parade or the drive up or over. Sadly, since my uncle died, the last picnic was 2011. Here is Rich at one. My uncle farmed ( and 10 million other things) as well as holding a full time job as an electrician.

[ericasmom]

Betsy, a Happy memory indeed, a sweet and lovely photo as well. What a Guy.

The sun is making the tree-tips bright gold against a gray lead sky, it is so very pretty. Going for a walk,

love you all.

[Guest]

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[Jeff's Mom]

Betsy, a lovely memory indeed! Lora, my goodness...good for you! Juicing sounds interesting. I wish I could find a way to cut down on coffee. I love a good strong cup of coffee first thing in the morning. The aroma filling the kitchen is really nice. We are eating very healthy these days. We always did...but more so now that we are focusing on ridding ourselves of all things the doc recommended. It is a very dull day here today. We finally had some much needed rain yesterday and it helped to freshen things up considerably. I just love the fresh new leaves and bright green shade. Would you believe we still have not had our flowering trees out yet? We are so far behind this year that I don't even think about it. I was wondering what the difference is between Memorial Day and Veteran's Day? Are they not similar? Well, I am happy to report that my house wrens are now back and cheerfully settled into their houses. What a lovely song they have. And it changes once the babies are born. Today is a full day of chemo at the hospital for my husband. I am just preparing a few things for him that may entice him to eat later. Thinking of everyone and sending warm wishes. Kate

[Brendan's Daddy]

Hello everybody. It has been so long since I have been here that I can't remember the last time I posted. Thanks Pam for sending me a message and getting me back here to say hi. It has been quite the journey the past two years and five months. We have had another beautiful boy who we named Aaron and he is doing great. Jackson is still struggling with the loss of his big brother, but he is making strides. As for me, I would say I am doing better. I think I am just ok and that is as good as it gets for me at this point in my life. I have been able to put weight back on and function much better than I was early on. I don't go to the cemetery three times a day anymore. Generally just a few times each week. The good news is that when I first started coming to this site I never thought I would make it. I never thought I could survive this. I guess it is true that we really don't know how strong we are until being strong is the only choice we have.

I am so sorry to see all of the new people here on this site. Know that you came to the right place with so many amazing people that will help you get through such hard times. I am so sorry for all of your losses and pray that healing comes.

I still pray for all of you often.

Brendan's Daddy

Tony

[Mom of Chip]

Del and Susan, for some reason every once and awhile this forum goes back to the end and you have to search for it. Hopefully, it is upfront again for you after I post.

Thank you.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

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[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

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[Mermaid Tears]

So glad I can find this site.....I think I was headed for my first Panic Attack.....Dee walked me away from the ledge....so glad that Del could not find it either...and let me know....I wasn't in the Twilight Zone...

[ericasmom]

Well how lovely that Konnie was able to get you back on Susan and Del. I wrote her and asked her if she could help and as usual, she did.

Thanks Konnie. You serve as such a helpful peaceful person.

Love to all

[mysonrich]

Thank you Laurie, Dee, Kate, Lora. Rich would be 25 on June 14^th. Also Daveys Angel date. Sometimes I look back and laugh at the funny things Rich did. When he was around 3 he took a self portrait. I know it's him with his nose touching the lens and his blue eyes, slightly blurred, looking back at me, The last time our entire family, meaning, me, the ex and the kids, were together was Christmas 2008. Rich also took a self portrait that day too. It's a little better than the first I have.

Sometimes I don't know what to think.

Lora, Have you watched “ fat, sick and nearly dead “ ? Interesting real life story about a man that changes his life by juicing, albeit to the extreme.

Pam, what a nice surprise to see Andy today ! Congratulations on passing the Good Samaritan Law.

Susan , a adorable baby. Think he'll mind another person in the pool? It's been pretty warm around here lately.

Kate, I drink way too much coffee. I believe it's due to my DNA make-up. My mother and sister could/can both drink me under the table while I pleaded, NO MORE. Thinking of you and hubby always.

Dee, take care.

My dsl was down earlier this evening. I emphasized with a commercial on TV. Man, “ I ate the bones”!

Me, “ I have no dsl and, I have no idea where this color font came from.

[ericasmom]

Tony, what a fabulous thing to see you here today, so glad to read of your Family. How nice of you to let the Newbies know that life does get better, that you do work through this grief and find ways to live with it.

Kate, how did the chemo go? Were you able to entice him to something good to eat?

We went out to dinner tonight, just a local place where my great nephew cooks and once there, a table with one of my students and her family, so sweet to see them, and another table with another nephew, his girl and their Son Maxx so we sat with them and had a nice visit. The Hawks hockey game was on there so that was nice for everyone to watch-right now they are winning. Anyhow, a nice way to end a very busy LONG day. So very much to do and so little time to get it all done. I did not get home from school today until 6:15, well I left for 30 minutes to see Baby Love as they are going out of town and they asked if I wanted to come over to see Erica Elizabeth. So that was a nice break. Otherwise, packing boxes and more boxes, filing important documents, printing report cards, getting the cummulative folders ready...buying gifts for the room parents, the teaching assistant and a little something for each child. And still so much more to do. I will get it done, but I sure wish we did not have to rush.

[Mermaid Tears]

well...I almost had a Chinese Baby when I could not find the site....

I have had to wear so many 'hats'....but am ok....just want everyone to know that each of you are important to me...and my 'mine'..my 'whatever' gets me through....it is complex...it is simple...it is 'up' and it is 'down'...it is simply 'the me' that has to forage...bless each of you that post....

[Mermaid Tears]

Well how lovely that Konnie was able to get you back on Susan and Del. I wrote her and asked her if she could help and as usual, she did.

Thanks Konnie. You serve as such a helpful peaceful person.

Love to all

so thankful that konnie could get us back on...

[ericasmom]

I could not wake up for a walk today, have to now just scramble and get ready for work, love to all.

[Jeff's Mom]

Morning everyone, I felt the same way as Dee this morning. This dark and gloomy weather has me wanting to burrow under the covers and go back to sleep. The forecast for the next several days is just deplorable. Rain, rain, rain, and way too cool. If it keeps up like this I am going to pack and move somewhere warm and sunny! Mike's Dad...how is your baby guy doing? Also Tony, good to see your post! The chemo went ok yesterday. Very tiring for him, but he is now at home again with the pump for two days. The good news is that they feel he may not lose his hair. A major concern for him as he has always had thin hair and he is like most men. VAIN! I will say I am going through everything with him as if I had this too. He is sharing everything...and I mean everything! Sometimes there is such a thing as too much info...if you know what I mean. Yes, he is eating pretty well all things considered. We eat very light measl the first few days. The anti nausea pills are helping. He was up off and on all night. Eleven times into the bathroom from all the fluids given. I am still sitting here in my housecoat as I am just exhausted. Sherry, how are the fields coming your way? They had an article in our local paper yesterday that they have finally finished seeding this week. They were working against time to get it done. A lot of corn this year from what I understand. Last year the fields were filled with soy. The year before it was flax. They are calling for significant rains over the next week. Hope things are better your way. Well, off to get some things done. Thinking of everyone today. Love to all. Kate

[Guest]

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[Mermaid Tears]

Lora...we will be 'with you' on Monday....please share any photos...am sure all GRANDparent's have such shattered hearts...not only do they grieve for the GRANDchild...but grieve for what their child is going through....a heavy burden to carry.

[westleysmom]

I can't believe it, I was able to come to the website! I can't do colors or anything, but at least its something. I've missed you guys and think of you all often and hope you're doing as good as you can.

Dee-I hope your new little Erica Elizabeth (sorry if I have the name wrong, I think that's what it was and scared to go back to check afraid I will lose the site altogether again) is bringing you much joy.

Sherry-I saw the grapes got frozen and don't remember much else that I read that's been going on with you. Hope you are doing alright other than having to buy your grapes at the grocery like me.

Kate-I'm sorry to see that your husband is going through chemo and hope that all will go well with his treatment and that you are doing well too.

Carol-Not sure if you're posting lately, I went back a few pages and didn't see anything, but think of you and send you hugs.

Betsy-Hugs to you too

Colleen-I believe June is your hard month and sending you much love.

There are some new names and faces and I'm so sorry to see it. It has been more than three years since I joined the ranks of those who have outlived their children and it still seems unreal at times. It becomes part of you gradually, this loss that is too huge to absorb all at once, at least that is the way it is with me. I read a book last week and she was talking about losing her husband, but she said something like "Nobody ever tells you how long it takes for someone you love to die in your heart". I hope your angels and mine never die in our hearts, that we keep them with us there always with all things dear.

[shorty16]

Thanks Rhonda

I think of you often too. Still laughing about the super-glue on his mustashe.

Yes, both June and July are rough months for my family.

For some reason this year, the anticipation is not eating me alive.

How are you doing? Happiness coming any easier?

I know we have to work at it - every day. Hard to be strong all the time.

I think of you often

Colleen, Brian's Mother Forever

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

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[tobyfreefoot]

home just in time for more tornadoes. apparently some grapefruit size hail. will post some pics of our trip later. went to the cemetery yesterday and ended up screaming and crying at the top of my lungs (i was the only one there) don't know what came over me. my daughter had been there with my granddaughter. she had signed forest's journal--your little sister. just too sad.

large tornado headed towards a baptist camp--falls creek that has 3,000 kids hunkered down in cabins. hoping it veers away

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

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[ericasmom]

Rhonda, so good to see you today. It has been a long while and it feels so good to know you are out there, managing. very good of you to help the newest here, hearing from someone that really gets where they are is always beneficial to our Newbies. Just as it was for you, and a long time ago, for me.

Tell us how the rest of your family is doing and more about you these days.

Oh yes, it is Erica Elizabeth. She is a sweet pumpkin for sure. Love Love Love.

Gretchen, I hope and pray that the tornadoes in your area just dissipate and leave all of Oklahoma alone. I am glad that you had a trip to NM, hoping that it was lovely. I totally get screaming and crying in the cemetery, I sure have done that more than once.

Kate, so much going on for you guys, I sure wish you had some sunshine and warmer temps so that the two of you could be outside. Prayers that the chemo works wonders and good health returns.

Lora, Monday sounds like a special time. I hope your Mom and Pop can be there with you. Sons?

Yep, being bone tired is hard, nothing works but a few extra hours of sleep for a couple days in row , and since we usually don't have that in our view, we struggle to find ways to have energy. I hope you don't over-due Kiddo, remember you need to let your body rest when it can. Juicing? I have never tried, though would love to lose abut 8-10 pounds--when school lets out, I am able to get more exercise and will also catch up on some sleep. NO COFFEE? I am 57 and have been drinking coffee since I was 4 years old. I loved coffee then and still love coffee. Black and strong coffee. Fresh ground beans each day. Ahhh.

[Mom of Chip]

Good morning!! I'm up with the chickens this morning, which is unusual for me. LOL..I'm a sleepyhead most mornings.

Next Monday my husband, Walt, is going in for a check-up on his heart..He's been feeling tired lately and his cardiologist thinks he may need another stent. Poor man....he has so many aches and pains...He was diagnosed with an abdominal aortic aneurysm a few years ago and then they found an iliad aneurysm and a renal one...the renal is the one they are watching the closest...

..then he started getting steroid shots in his knees and now his right shoulder, too...he's in his second round of therapy...

and now maybe another stent....although he has all these problems, none of them are life threatening...and he does take good care of himself...

..but wish him luck on his hospital visit next week. We are hoping he doesn't need another stent.

I haven't had any screaming fits at the cemetery...yet...but I do cry and talk to Chip....telling him I wish he hadn't had so much pain during the last few months of his life....and thanking him for the good things that have happened in my life since he died. I truly feel that he is doing what he can to help me get on with my life.

His headstone is ordered and we have received the proofs...they look good. If all goes well it will be set a few days before his birthday....July 6...I don't know just what we will do on his birthday, but I am thinking a little party for him..sending up balloons...

This weekend my son, Kirk, is moving into a new home in Austin...Every time he has moved in the past, Chip helped him...Chip even flew to Chicago a few years ago to help Kirk move back to Texas....Kirk misses him on this move, but he remembers things that Chip taught him about packing and moving...he's going to be fine...

Chip's older daughter, Jordan and her family, is moving in with us this weekend...She will be here during the summer until her financial aid for school comes in this fall....I think it be a good thing for both of us....we can finish getting Chip's things sorted and deciding what to keep and what to give away....Chip told me to sell as much of his stuff as we could...especially musical equipment...to help pay for any of his expenses that were not covered by insurance...I just haven't had the heart to do it yet..but we may start doing it in a month or so....

Kirk took several of his guitars and Jordan has one...but there are still 2 left and a vintage ukulele and a lot of amps and other audio equipment...plus books, CD's, clothes, etc...the man was a packrat..I don't think he EVER threw anything away. I have most of his things sorted and put away..or should I say 'stacked up' in his room...It looks a museum in there.

I haven't seen Chip's younger daughter, Sami, in several weeks...Her mom is not happy with me...Chip got a tax refund of $2800 and she thinks I should give it to her....but in Texas the law says that all bills must be paid before heirs get anything...and first off-the funeral home..and that is who got the refund..as his life insurance policy wasn't big enough to take care of it all...and she forgot, I guess, that Chip has TWO daughters....anything that is left in his estate after all the necessary bills are paid would be divided between the 2 of them equally...the woman is selfish and lazy...she won't go out and try to find a job...she and Sami(and her common-law husband who is not working either) are living off Chip's Social Security Survivor Benefits... Arrrgh!!!

I took some food to them once...some of Sami's favorite snacks, peanut butter and vitamins for Sami. I asked Sami later if she enjoyed the snacks..She said she only got ONE of them...they got ate up by the adults...so I haven't sent anything else..and Sami does not look all that healthy...I think the only decent meal she gets is the school lunch and what she gets when she comes to our house.

Sorry to unload on you...but sometimes you just have to get things off your chest...and it's really nice and comforting to have someone who listens without judging.

Hope this day finds all of you well and getting closer to your new normal each day.

Hugs to everyone.

[Mermaid Tears]

My Grandmother gave all grandchildren what we call 'doogee" in the South....(doo-gee)....a little coffee...a lot of milk and sugar.....and yes...all my GRANDchildren get doogee, too....

[Jeff's Mom]

Del, I will definitely be thinking of you next week. Hope all goes well for your husband. Yes, it does seem like a load all at once to shoulder. Life is often like that. Good thing you have friends here that listen and care. It really does help to vent doesn't it? I don't know how I could carry this load if I had to keep everything all bottled up inside. I do not have the family support system of many. Yet, we learn to cope somehow. Dee, when are the kids finished for the year? Our children go until the last dog is hung. End of June. Apart from the private schools which often close early to mid June. Special days coming up for many I see. I will be thinking about everyone and wishing you strength and peace. It is raining cats and dogs today. Torrential downpour for the past several hours. A very good opportunity to get caught up on things around the place. We had our car break down yesterday while we were in town. We bought a new car about eight months ago. The kind that has the push button start. Well, as luck would have it...the computer is all screwed up. It keeps thinking the car is being stolen and it simply will not start. We had to have it towed to the dealership and they are as perplexed as we are as to how to fix it. So, there we sat for abut two hours with my husband on a chemo pump waiting until they gave us a loaner for a few days. Thank God, we were not in some remote area when this happened. tell me, what was wrong with the old fashioned key start? I mean, just how taxing is it to turn a key in the ignition? These computer advances are not always the best.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

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[Mermaid Tears]

I was up early this morning, too....4 AM.....and Del....so many on this site will identify with all that you are dealing with....so many layers...

I know the approaching date to set the headstone will come with many ups and downs on your emotional scale....and the birthday of your Angel...I was thinking just the other day if I could just have a 'year of time out'.....just wipe the calendar clean....not know if it was a Tuesday or Sunday....no dates...no holidays....just a 'year off'.....please keep us posted.

My husband had open heart quadruple by pass surgery around the first of May...am happy to report that the recovery is going great...but one has to be ready for a long road of healing....he is going slow...can't pick up anything heavier than a can of soup...hard to get in and out of bed...is driving some around town. Let us know what the Dr. finds out and hope the report is good.

I know what you mean by 'move'....Jesse moved into a new home in League City after Christmas...and he was emotional about not having John David with him....for the brothers always 'helped' each other out when it came time to move....even when they were in college....we come to many places where we miss them in such mundane situations...I get emotional when I go to the grocery store...and remember what John David would tell me 'is the best' to buy....

I think it is so nice to have your GRANDdaughter move in with you...and you have a space in time to be with her....and so many will relate with you with the ex-DIL....but how blessed that you and Sami have a good relationship and she has you in her life. There are so many layers we have to deal with....exhausting some days...and some days you know you will never 'fix it'....and just have to carry on the best you can....and leave the rest to Heaven.

Know that you can come here and 'vent' or relate anything you want...and there will be plenty of parents here that know the shoes you are walking in....for we walk right beside you.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

My Grandmother gave all grandchildren what we call 'doogee" in the South....(doo-gee)....a little coffee...a lot of milk and sugar.....and yes...all my GRANDchildren get doogee, too....

Sounds Yummy!

[JD's Mom, Becky]

JUST STOP!!!

• 
  Jared Daniel West ~ Forever in our hearts READING a text is the same distraction... Makes you worse than a DRUNK behind the wheel, and 23 times more likely to CRASH!
  

[Mermaid Tears]

Del, prayers for your husband's health. How nice that Jordan will be spending the summer with you. Wishing you a special time,

Also, my thoughts go out to you as your sort through your son's belongings.

My husband has done some of the outside stuff at my son's house and that is hard. Been thinking of the inside stuff at Jesse's house lately. So far it is pretty much like it was left. I haven't been able to move anything yet, nor do I want to.

May strength be granted to you and your husband as you tackle this next task....

Peace be with you today.

Laurie, Jesse David's Mom

I think that is a #10 on the Grief/Pain scale....having to gather up...store...sort through..pack....your Angel's belongings.....just do it 'when you can'....we had to get things out of John David's apartment in Houston....his landlord was so very kind...he told me to do it when I felt I could....no rush or hurry...we could take our time. That was a blessing.

[tobyfreefoot]

Sounds Yummy!

i drank this all my life, starting about 7 years old. still drink it at work when i'm hungry

[tobyfreefoot]

i had to buy a storage building and just moved all of forest's things in there and in the spare bedroom here. haven't gone through them yet. my youngest house sat for us while we were in n.m. he found some crazy boots forest had and asked for them. wore them home with forest's smile on his face.

looks like we are going to get it pretty big time today. i don't know because i had to go to bed but i think the kids' camp was spared yesterday.

[Mermaid Tears]

Oh Gretchen....I just posted today that taking care of your Angel's belongings is a #10 on the Grief/Pain scale....just take it easy...and take some deep breaths.....I do love it when one of the brothers ask for a 'certain item'....even the GRANDkids....they want to have something to cherish...'hunker down'....will be praying for you and all our OK family...

[shorty16]

Laurie,

We are now getting invitations to weddings and baby showers for Brian's friends. I too just cannot go yet.

I really want to be happy for these people, but my heart just is not in it.

I get it also

Colleen, Brian's Mom 4ever

[Guest]

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[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

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[Jeff's Mom]

Today I touched what you left behind,

Oh, so many memories attached to it all.

I gently rub my fingers across the last shirt you wore,

And try to inhale your remaining scent embedded in the fabric.

Packing and sorting your life, your hopes and dreams that will never be...

What am I searching for among this earthly stuff?

Perhaps trying in vain to recreate that which is lost,

And I want to pretend so hard that yesterday never happened….

I remember the words of Jesus, “In my house are many mansions…”

Prepare my heavenly place next to you, oh so close,

Where you will always be within the reach of my embrace…

Your Mom forever…

Oh, Laurie...how beautiful and heartfelt. I can relate to each and every word.

[ericasmom]

Del, I agree with everyone here, take it easy and post and let us know how your husband is when he goes in for his medical procedures. Prayers are being sent.

Hey, thinking of you and your Chip the other day as I drove to a place called, School of Rock in Oak Park, Illinois, the town I teach and raised my kids. The School of Rock is a place where kids take all kinds of musical instrument lessons and they also learn performance techniques and can form bands there. It is so cool looking. It is new to our town, there was already one in the Chicago. Anyhow, one of my former students needed some help from the Erica Fund to take some summer lessons there and to attend Performance Camp. This child's family needed help as they could not provide this to him, but Eri could. The owner and I talked about some fund raising ideas we have so that more kids could get help to attend, scholarships. I thought, " chip in" as a name of a scholarship in your Boy's name. It just popped in my head.

It is so nice of you to have room for your Jordan this summer. And my hope to your Grandgirl, may she grow to be like her Daddy and Her Grandmom, strong and good and honest. Deep hope for her. You take care as you go forward, knowing that each little extra thing is sometimes 10 times extra on our hurting hearts.

Laurie, I love your poem, it is beautiful. Many years ago I wrote a poem called Tangible things. I will post it when I can.

Kate, our last school day was TODAY! I cannot believe it, we used to go until about the 10th of June but it kept getting earlier and start time got earlier which I HATE since August is in my opinion, when the kids should be out and about and not stuck in a BOILING building. But hey, they don't ask the teachers do they? Nope, they make decisions for the lives of those in administration offices, which by the way, are air-conditioned.

Anyhow, today was our last day and we had a tearful end as we gathered around the letter I wrote them this year. We had a great last week, long recesses and finished up a novel I was reading them as well as we finished up a geography game we played all year. I will miss these little dears. I have more work to do at school , cleaning and boxing just about everything which is a huge job. I was at school for 12 hours yesterday, but today we had a staff party after our day and that was nice. So a walk when I got home and going to bed now. Tired bones for this old gal.

Gretchen, love the photo of Forest and the rainbow photos too, I saw one today when I got to school. I was so sad when I heard that your area is getting socked again. Norman, Ok. got hit, isn't that where you are? Please be safe, and let us know how you are when you can.

Greg, I hope you are okay as St. Louis is getting socked too.

Prayers and hope to all and prayers for healing.

[Guest]

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[ericasmom]

I will hope that the sadness you woke with will give way to something softer Lora. I think though, with the Monday service planned, the sadness is part of this work you've done to honor your Girl, a culminating occasion and a very sad one. Be good to YOU>

[Mom of Chip]

Here I am with my morning coffee reading all the posts since the last time I was on the forum...praying for those in Oklahoma who have had so bad weather lately.....My friend who lives there is getting hit again.

Thank you, Dee, for the kind and uplifting words...Yes, School of Rock is a magical place.. My other son, Kirk, works at a School of Rock in Austin...He teaches drums, piano and guitar..He also taught music in Chicago during the 4 years he lived there....private lessons as well as teaching at a music store, a local community college and a small School of Rock....my boys were very much into music...Chip being the older son was a big inspiration to his younger brother...It is something they had to enjoy together...doing gigs and just doing what they called 'noodling' whenever they were visiting with each other....Kirk really misses his big brother....He says he feels Chip around all the time..and KIrk recently got hooked up with a good band in Austin and he thanks Chip every day for helping him get such a good gig.....

'chip in'..I like that...thank you for thinking of him.

Laurie...beautiful poem..brings tears every time I read it.

Lora..I feel your pain....doing things in the name of our angels can be very sad for us....recently there have been local events raising funds for cancer...one of the men supporting it, lost his wife two years ago to cancer...she was a classmate of Chip's....so many of his friends have supported the events because they feel the pain of losing their classmates to that dreadful disease...but it is too painful for me right now......so I haven't participated...maybe next year.

One of the things Chip planned to do when/if his cancer became under control...was to play gigs with all the funds going to cancer research..I so wish he had lived long enough to fulfill those plans...

To all here...hope this day if good for you.

[Mermaid Tears]

Well Dee....we had the last day of school on Friday here in Brenham...all of my teacher friends all feel like the last week is like a marathon...bittersweet...saying good by to the students...but needing a 'rest'.....Pebbie is going to be in Middle school in September...time marches on.

Thank you for asking about Daniel...his recovery is going great...still very slow...cannot pick up anything heavier than a soup can...but that is part of the healing...and he is driving some. The Dr. says he will be 100% by September.

Lora...I think we all have the 'well of sadness' ..goes so deep..and hurts so much...you have your Angel date coming up...my sister lost her husband 4 years ago...(May 30th)...and she says the days leading up to it she will remember what all they did...she will re-trace each day..what they ate..where they went..the restaurants..every little, little thing...that then becomes the big things...and that is overwhelming..and now she is dealing with losing John David...she had no children..and she is very, very close to all mine...it is a great comfort to me...and she belongs to a church in San Antonio that is so filled with love...if I was ever an orphan...I would want them to adopt me...she has this amazing Faith...and I have had to drink from her cup..for my cup gets very empty at times.

[Jeff's Mom]

One cannot help but wonder why there is so much cancer in the young. After several rounds of chemo this past few weeks it is apparent that so many are quite young from what we have seen at the hospital. Young adults or early thirties. Why? Is it the environment? Genetic? I know that there are many positive advances being made by the researchers....yet? Drugs to counter side effects, etc. How I wish we could find a cure. It is so very difficult to watch as someone slips down that slippery slide. For the most part my husband is doing pretty well all things considered. But these are early days yet. He is almost ashamed to tell them of his discomfort as he sees so many others that are much younger and their strength of spirit. Dying is a battle. It is a very difficult process. The process of dying sends fear into most of us. And why wouldn't it? Nobody wants to suffer or watch a loved one hurting. You can feel so helpless. I will say that they have given us hope to continue to fight and to enjoy each and every day that is given. So much that we take for granted now seems like a blessing. We glide through life taking so much for granted. It takes losing everything to find what is really important. Today we woke up to a lovely sunny sky. An intense blue. I ran out to hang my hanging pots in an attempt to get some sun. I am just about to take them down again. More cloud is moving in and it has become quite windy off of the lake. Will this dreary weather ever clear up? We are off to the city today. I felt it would be a good day to just get away and do a couple of things to get our mind off of everything. I am thinking of everyone and hoping you have a decent day. Kate

[Mermaid Tears]

Thank you for sharing that 'poem' Laurie....we are all on the same page..I have a chair with the shirt/shorts/shoes/sunglasses he wore to the hospital...and it is the shirt I gave him for his birthday...he was thinking he would just have a check-up and get more antibiotic...(which really was one of the factors in him getting C-Diff)....I have a photo with him wearing the shirt with Daniel...and his ashes....right there...some may think it is morbid...but not me....this is my way of dealing with it all.

Love the 'School of Rock'...

Kate...your questions are universal with all of us...