Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted March 7, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 Laurie,Georgina & Wayne, Like grains of sand in an hour glass,as the days trickle on, time will reveal what is true. Justice is not limited to this earth and the blindness of men, but God, who sees and knows all, will be the judge in the end.These were the words I felt inspired to write after we were denied justice for Jared. I hope they will help you as you travel this path as well. There are some awful, uncaring people in this world, and I am sorry any of us had to come into contact with them. I don't think now, that any amount of Justice would have changed the kind of person that my son's killer is and I realize now, too, that as hard as I fought for justice, it would never have taken away this pain in my heart. I had to try, leaving no stone unturned, but I have paid an awful price with my health. Every meeting, every file, every picture, took a bit more out of me. Do what you feel you must, but take time also to take care of yourselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 7, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 Dee....what a heartbreak story for that young woman...beyond sad....for her and her family and circle of friends...such a long dark road ahead....am so glad she has YOU.... Laurie....it is true...nothing can bring back your boy....but...you fought an uphill battle...like going to war without a gun...and it is now at the end of that road. That 'woman' is a bonafide sociopath....she isn't worth your anger and frustration at this point. At the beginning she was but not anymore. Leave her to heaven....and you can and will move forward....for sure in slow...slow motion. You left no stone unturned. We humans only have so much power. Please use that power on helping and healing yourself and your family.You and I are in this 4th year....and we are picking our way through another year without our boys on this earth home. We are still learning. It is a day by day kind of awareness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted March 7, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 7, 2016 Thank you Dee and Diane for your caring thoughts. I got through the day with happiness and heartbreak combined. It's eighteen months on Friday and I feel panicked and afraid time seems to be flying by I want to go back to when James was here . I went to the doctors today my chest X-ray was clear, still coughing though. I have to go back in a week, if it continues and he said he would refer me. My knee is really swollen has been for some time but I've just got on with it with everything that's been happening, well he did a ultrasound and I've torn the cartilage and there's fluid on my knee he's said eventually I will need a new knee!! And to try and cope as long as I can, he's given me pain killers. Becky I hope you got my messege thank you for caring and your advice. I have to try to get justice for James. It's absolutely unbelievable that we are having to fight this fight in this day and age and I'm so scared we won't be able to get anywhere without the funds but I will keep going as long as I can and try and self care as I go. God Bless and Peace Xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKonnie Posted March 8, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 The forums are fixed, but obviously as I'm sure you've all noticed they look different. Eric updated the software and that's why things look different. We've worked very hard to keep spam off the site, but unfortunately sometimes it gets through. This new update will again help take care of that. I am so very sorry about any inconveniences this has caused and may cause. I'm sure this may take a bit to get used to, but hopefully we can all work together to make the transition seamless for each other. Thanks so much for being the caring community you've been. It's always a pleasure to serve you. ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted March 8, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 Thanks Konnie & Eric! When the site loads it goes to the first posts in 2004 instead of to the latest posts. Otherwise looks like it's working again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted March 8, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 This site is still acting oddly, showing me the earliest pages from 2005...the top portion is taken up by other stuff and so I cannot get the latest posted today, only showing me from Friday, not beyond...and I had to post the page number in order to see current input. This is odd. But I am glad to be posting at all. Dream sweetly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Donnah Posted March 9, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2016 Am preparing myself for meeting with the hospital administrators on Monday to discuss their investigation into Dylan's death. My grief counsellor says it's too soon but I don't want to put it off till we are stronger and I want them to see us as a family and how their lack of care has effected us. Has anyone else had to deal with sort of thing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted March 9, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2016 Donnah, I hope you will take an attorney with you, to project your rights. I can guarantee you that the hospital will have someone there looking after their rights. Unfortunately, this is the world we live in. Take care of yourself, and you will be in our thoughts and prayers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted March 9, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2016 Just testing this new site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted March 9, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2016 I sure hope that there are better fixes coming to this site, not meaning this meanly, just finding it user difficult, and it disturbs me in ways I cannot fully give voice to, to see 2005 come up on screen. I wish everyone some-kind-of-great-day. Know that you are loved and cherished and Lord help us do them proud! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 9, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2016 trying to figure out how the new site works....will try to post a photo... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted March 9, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2016 Here are two pictures that I took at the spot where my son died. They were taken on the same day one year later at about the same time of day. Obvious orbs in the first pic, but I also see the image of my son as a little boy, in the 2nd pic, running towards me! You have to zoom in, and it appears to the left and down from the oncoming headlights. At least that's what it looks like to me. I don't know what that could mean. I should add too. That none of these orbs, etc were visible when taking the pics, not until later when I downloaded them did I see all that was in the pics! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 9, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2016 I don't know 'how' to answer your post Becky....hope this works....but wow....I, too, see your little boy....I was reading some info months ago on the subject of being able to view orbs with a camera and not the eye...that is beyond magical...and I know how healing for your heart.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted March 9, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2016 x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted March 9, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2016 Wow Becky amazing when you think about it. I can also see him I don't like this new layout I cannot always see all the upto date posts. It's so annoying it doesn't feel like home anymore. Donah were fighting for Justice for James but we're having to not only take on the driver who was speeding and killed him but the police for all the errors and absolute mess of the investigation. It's taking its toll on me as I've been unwell for nearly six weeks now I'm back on antibiotics for the fourth time I never used to be this ill I feel like I'm falling apart. Susan thank you for the screen shots really say how it is X thanks for the instructions Diane. I preferred the old sit it was easier. God Bless everyone Xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 10, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2016 this is hard to navigate.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted March 10, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2016 I agree Georgina and Susan, this site is still not as accessible as it should be and it is keeping some away. I hope that Konnie and Eric can hear that it really does not feel like home anymore. We need to not battle to read the days posts. Hopefully it will become easier though, we have had big changes in the past and it did take time...it has been a long while however since we had to adjust. I still say that it somehow bothers me to see 2005 on the page I open to, it just unnerves me. There are people on those pages who I have long wondered about and seeing them each day makes my heart ache. Georgina, please realize your health matters, you must not push so hard that you become ill, that is not serving anyone's purpose, least of all James'. Becky, I adore the orbs and the little-man of yours in the photo...I have some amazing orb photos from when Erica was little but they were not found until a few years ago. My niece found an old photo or two and had them scanned and sure enough, orbs all around Erica's head. A knowing of sorts. Becky I wonder if you see your Boy running to you there because he will always run to you, you will see him in all of his ages and all of his splendor one day, without the pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guest Posted March 10, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2016 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted March 10, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2016 Lora, so really wonderful to see you this morning. This site just underwent these changes in response to some very invasive kinds of warnings...so I hope it will be further changed to be more user-friendly as we are losing folks who just don't want to hassle with it all, and in grief, it is too much energy to fight a website to post. So how are you? Are you working 2 jobs still? How is brother? Mom and Dad? Jared? love to you, and yes, Cara and our kids are watchingover us as we love them from here and everywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 10, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2016 Lora....I was just thinking about you and your Cara the other day....wondering how you were and 'how' many jobs you were working ? How is your brother doing? Do hope his recovery is positive.....we would like an update on that sweet boy, Jared, and how he is faring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 10, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2016 Today I celebrate John David's birthday....not even death can take away that joy....when he was placed in my heart and arms...or the joy of being his Mommie.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Donnah Posted March 10, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2016 5 minutes ago, Mermaid Tears said: Today I celebrate John David's birthday....not even death can take away that joy....when he was placed in my heart and arms...or the joy of being his Mommie.. Happy birthday John David. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted March 10, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2016 x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted March 10, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2016 Happy Heavenly Birthday John David Susan the photos are so beautifully put together thank you for sharing them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKonnie Posted March 11, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2016 Dee, sorry to interrupt, but I keep trying to send you a private message, and I am getting a message that you can't receive messages. Are you able to receive and send from other people? Is anyone else having this problem? ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted March 11, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2016 Happy Heavenly Birthday John David, one of my other J.D.s!! Susan, I hope you felt his presence in a special way today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sholl1955 Posted March 11, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2016 Hello all, I am finding this new format confusing. Not exactly user friendly. I think of everyone often and trying to read daily. The 4th anniversary is rapidly approaching and I am struggling in a different way this year. I know it is part of the journey, but don't like it. Have a restful evening, Sandy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members flocicero Posted March 11, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2016 Wow , this is different......Susan sending you love as you celebrate John David's heavenly birthday......I hope you can feel him near, always loving his mama.... i have been so busy......it's good for me to be so occupied .....not sure how this site is working now....I'm reading posts from 2005, it is a bit confusing but I guess I will get the hang of it..... just stopped it say hi....peace & love to all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted March 11, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2016 Konnie, I don't seem to know if I can or cannot, it does not tell me that my message went through nor do I see any in my list up on top of the page. I am concerned however with whatever is going on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted March 11, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2016 Susan, I posted a big Birthday message for John David last evening, but it did not post and I have no idea why...it went off to the netherworld. Happy Birthday Beautiful Boy! May your days and nights be filled with joy, and please please sit upon your Momma's shoulder letting her feel your deep and undying love...She holds you close to her in all she does, you are woven into her days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted March 11, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2016 Thought Inwould share this peace to all Xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted March 12, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2016 Laurie, I feel like such a fool. I PM'd you in February and I see it now addressed to ME! I thought I was responding to a note you wrote me, but apparently, you never got it because it is from ME to ME. I am so not good with technology... Anyway, I was thanking you for the compliment on a poem of mine but thanking you too, for your wonderful outreach to so many here, you have a great touch and you always give great sites, quotes, and I just want you to know that your heart is felt here. Sandy Dear, I know, I really do not like this set up with our wonderful site...I can't believe that it is almost Angelversarry time for you again, time moves in such curious ways. Are you okay? You mentioned that you don't like how it is making you feel, but sure, we get that, how is it different for you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted March 12, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2016 Thank you Becky for sharing the pictures of the signs you received. I have some pictures (and videos) with orbs in it too. In the video which was filmed by my son in July the year he transitioned there were moving orbs in it... when I did a still shot of the orb, there was an obvious energy center with radiance of light that surrounded it. (Up until then I had no idea there was something even called an orb). I was very traditional in my thinking before that, with some allowance for mystical experiences. (As I had what is know as a STE -- spiritually transformative event -- in my teens, that convinced me beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is more than this physical world. All what I have read from in many sources seem to add up to some universal truths, whether I talk to people who have been in hospice care, reading forums, talking with those with other side encounters, or reading materials from researchers. I tend to weight those experiences that are around obvious exits points more though. I had to get some kind of a handle on what I had experienced myself which is why I started on this pathway of personal research...no one in my religious community clued me in this stuff could happen -- and does -- in fact most in traditional religious mindset resist such events. (which contradicts in history what is known as Christian mystics). Anita Moorjani's testimony on Dr. Oz. He verifies her medical records Author Anita Moorjani opens up about coming back from the dead after fighting Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Find out what she saw when she crossed over to the other side. http://www.doctoroz.com/episode/back-dead-what-these-people-saw-when-they-crossed-over I have also been re-reading a book that was originally published in 1975 by Dr. Raymond Moody one of the original researchers of Near death experiences. The book is Life after Life and Reflections on Life after Life. Here is what Dr. Moody said regarding NDEs. He refers to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, who had a lifetime career in hospice work, particularly with children: (Dr. Raymond Moody speaking) For years I have wondered why, if these Near Death experiences were as common as I had found them to be, other people weren't also collecting reports of them. I have found that several other physicians -- most notably Dr. Elisabeth Kubler Ross -- have been pursuing this same research and have been getting identical results. In fact, when Dr. Kubler-Ross received pre-publication proofs of my first book, she wrote my publisher that she could have written the same manuscript herself on the basis of what she had been doing. She states that she now has hundreds of reports of this kind (NDEs and other STE events around exit points) and she is in the process of preparing a major book on the subject... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted March 12, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2016 Dee, I did receive one response back from you around that time. I am still amazed about that poem and the synchronicity of the number 4. Erica must have been smiling that day. Susan, I will be sending a picture for you of the starfish creation by my mom's. I put it with her other stuff and we lit a remembrance candle for all. Happy Birthday to John David. Sending hugs to all. I am at my mom's so am behind on the reading here. Plan on catching up on the thread later this weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 12, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2016 thanking each of you for your kind and knowing words...each of you know what my heart and spirit are like...we share this kind of grief. The morning...(very, very early)...was rough...but I reminded myself to 'self care'....deep breathing seems to calm me and bring my heart to beat again. One can go to youtube and get info on deep breathing....it does help so much. Thursday evening we had a large gathering here at the house...very impromptu....friends..Randa's friends..bringing their children...and beer, wine and goodies...Daniel put the hot tub on and Pibby and her friends spent hours in it...we celebrated ....I love to hear their 'John David' stories. We also had a large planned gathering last Saturday ...many came that could not come on Thursday...once again..Daniel boiled crayfish...I cooked my seafood gumbo...that is the favorite in the Spring. Sandy....the days leading up to a marker date...I call 'Dread Walking'....we are here for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 12, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2016 Laurie...while I was typing...a message came across that you had posted a message...but I can't find it....I do not like this format as all... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted March 12, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2016 All, I am sending out a link to the main Child Loss section http://forums.grieving.com/index.php?/forum/14-loss-of-a-child/ On this page (link above), you will notice there is the Loss of an Adult Child Link pinned at the top. To the immediate right of that title, there are the page numbers (slightly greyed out) for this thread. You can hover above them and just click the last page available, (somewhere around 2287) or look to the right of the screen and where it gives the time of the last posting below the user's name, just click on that. It will take you to the most current thread. Just think about how you use the web on smart phones...it scrolls vertically. This new app was most likely written to accommodate a variety of devices now. Hope this helps. Thanks to Konnie and Eric for their hard work and dedication! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted March 12, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2016 Thank you Laurie...maybe that is why it is so dang confusing, I don't use my phone other than to text or make calls, I do not read info or mail on it ever. I would like it to be more intuitive than this, why not have the page that is current come up, rather than seeing 2005 on a page? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted March 12, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2016 Dianne, thanks for the visual screenshot for navigating the site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted March 12, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2016 Dee, It could be that the new site software does not have that option, or perhaps it does, and they could set the order in reverse. I am not sure as I am not as familiar with this software was with the Ning forum app. It does take a bit to roll over a old application to a new version and work out the kinks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JD's Mom, Becky Posted March 12, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2016 On my smart phone you just click on the double arrows on the right side of the forum, where it says "next" and it loads the latest messages. It will say loading, then brings up the last page.I am concerned that we don't lose anyone that's been posting, because of this new format. Very sad if so. Also, what happened to our galleries?? And the ability to auto add our signatures? I somehow have two different accounts here, I think that happened when I was hospitalized in 2014, when I came home and I couldn't log on, and had to start over. I am going to continue to use this one as it has my true join date of Dec. 2011. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted March 12, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2016 Becky, found some of the member galleries...click below http://forums.grieving.com/index.php?/gallery/category/9-member-albums/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members flocicero Posted March 13, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 13, 2016 Hello all, today is exactly 18 months , 1 year 6 months, 78 weeks, 546 days since I last saw my beautiful Michael.....am I getting better.....I don't think so.....all I can think of is being with him... Holding him...comforting him.......kissing his cheek & telling him how much I deeply love him....... How could I ever have let him go? Where do I go from here......I'm so very, very tired ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted March 13, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 13, 2016 Francesca, 18 months is along long time, it used to be the way we counted our Children's age, by month, and then we lost them, and we count again by months. One day, I promise, one day, it will not be as cutting and sharp as today, but it will take time. All I can say is to remember what your Boy would want for you-a way to live in his light, to live well where he no longer can. Peace to you, dee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted March 13, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 13, 2016 Francesca....one of the most interesting facts about this kind of grief I discovered....is how exhausting it is. I would wake up tired...insomnia became my best friend...I would Zombie Walk through the day....I would try to eat and get a 'gagging' reflex...this kind of grief is like being handed a 20 lb. bowling ball that you have to carry...just like this dark and heavy grief. This grief is very, very heavy.....and at times....suffocating...and we have to come up for 'air' like we are drowning. We all have that in common....there are common aspects and then we will all walk this grief journey in a way that is unique as our child is unique. there is no magic pill....nor a 1,000 words that can make it 'ok'....for you and your SONshine boy.....all we can do is feel that we are not alone for many walk this same dreaded...uphill path...and we can hold each others hands and hearts. You did not 'let your boy go'.....all of the parents would have taken a bullet for our child. Your boy became too broken to live on this earth home. And the Lord came with strong arms and took him in the night. This journey is a day by day way of living...learning to live on this earth home...while he is in another home. Once again....do 'self care'....go to youtube and learn about deep breathing....that is one thing I do to get my balance again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted March 13, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 13, 2016 14 hours ago, flocicero said: Hello all, today is exactly 18 months , 1 year 6 months, 78 weeks, 546 days since I last saw my beautiful Michael.....am I getting better.....I don't think so.....all I can think of is being with him... Holding him...comforting him.......kissing his cheek & telling him how much I deeply love him....... How could I ever have let him go? Where do I go from here......I'm so very, very tired ..... Francesca I just passed that marker too on Friday the 11th. I just want to join him too. I can't bear this I don't feel any different in fact I feel worse. I go to his grave everyday and sit and wonder what to do. It would be easy to go too but always in the back of my mind are Susan's words " not the only child I love, but the only child that died that I loved" but in my case the second child. I've been so ill and I know that's because of this fight we have on our hands, it's taking its toll on both of us. I miss James so much I don't want to live without him but I know I have no choice someone said to me that you " just have to get on with it" so that's what I'm doing year by year, month by month,day by day, minuet by minuet, and second by second . God Bless Georgina xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ModKonnie Posted March 13, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 13, 2016 Again, I would like to say I am very sorry for the sudden and unexpected changes. They were a necessity. Unfortunately, we cannot change the order of the posts. We've contacted the site developer and there is not option to reverse the order. I have enabled (again) signatures. If you go to your log in name, click on account settings and scroll down the page, you should see a tab "signatures" where you can add or create a signature. I can see the galleries, but if someone is missing something, please let me know and we will try to figure out why. Messages are now turned back on, too. We will get the kinks worked out. I notice daily old members are starting to figure things out, and we are also adding new members. We are not in any danger, and we have no plans whatsoever to discontinue this site. It's never even been a consideration or even talked about. It won't happen any time in the near or distant future. Sincerely, ModKonnie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted March 13, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 13, 2016 x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Donnah Posted March 13, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 13, 2016 Mermaid tears your words describe exactly how I feel. Grief is all encompassing and never leaves. I find myself struggling to get through each and everyday but carry on trying hard to honour my son. I say hello everytime I see his picture. I wish he replied! This picture popped up on FB memories yesterday. A year ago we went to a beach Bach with our sons and their girlfriends and played hilarious games of Jenga. We plan on going back this year for Dylan's birthday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted March 13, 2016 Members Report Share Posted March 13, 2016 Thankyou ModKonnie this site means so much to so many thank you so much Georgina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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