Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted July 11, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 11, 2015 Laura, thank you for the gentle wishes for us all. Georgina, I agree with the thoughts of others here...and I agree with Colleen, 10 months is not long at all... Colleen, so sorry for the loss of your dog, Copper. I had to put my son's cat down shortly after he transitioned too. I am sure the pet shelter will love the volunteer service. Leah, thank you for sharing that sacred moment and giving hope to us all here. Please take good care of yourself. My uncle -- when he passed away in May, 2013 -- had his grandson precede him by 13 months in death. While my uncle was in the hospital gravely ill, he could see his grandson in spirit form waiting. May your beloved mom rest in that perfect place of peace and love. Take care. Susan, know we are very much on the same timetable...holding your hand. Dee, thank you for sharing those most sacred holy moments. It is a privilege to "know" your girl, Erica; and to honor her. Sherry, thanks for taking the time to share a bit and keep encouraging us on. Gretchen, beautiful piece of writing... Wondering how some others have been??? Thinking of you all... Becky, thinking of you today.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted July 11, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 11, 2015 Colleen----Yes, I agree....it is just agonizing to have a loved pet put to sleep,and especially one that was a close pal of your dear Brian. I felt the samewhen we had to put our cat, Brownie, to sleep. So nice that you donatedsome of Copper's things to the shelter, and also that you are going to becomea new "kitty cuddler"......the kitties will love you! Leah-----Dear Indigo friend.....While I am sorry for your loss of your dear mother, I agree withDee, that she is now with JaBoa and your dear dad forevermore.....nomore pain, illness, or disability. The angels surely came and got her....and the angel music you heard is when they lifted her up to her heavenlyhome with her loved ones. I am sorry for you, Leah, because I know thatyou have given your all for her care, and that the grief in your heart ishard, for your loss of your dear mama. I know that I will be facing thesame when my mom passes.....she will be 96, and while holding her ownright now, she is noticeably weaker. Please take care of yourself. Sendinglots of prayers for you & your family. PEACE TO ALL INDIGOS. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted July 12, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 Sherry...I guess there is not one experience on this site...you have not experienced...thank you for being here for all of us... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tobyfreefoot Posted July 12, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 yeah dee i posted it the day after i wrote it. leah-i'm sorry you lost your mama. it is a different loss but hard regardless. you were an exceptional daughter she was so lucky to be in your care. bobby lost his mom today also basically in the same way. he also felt she was seeing people who passed already. a few days before she was unresponsive she seemed to be smiling at and seeing people no one else could see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted July 12, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 Thank you, Gretchen....I hold with the truth...they never die alone... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LauraI Posted July 12, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 Aloha everyone, most of you have probably gone to sleep for the night. Sweet dreams. These last few days have been very emotional for me. My oldest son will find out on Monday when he needs to have his open heart surgery to repair or replace a heart valve, which it sounds like will be within the next week or two. I told my son that once he finds out what the plan is on Monday, his Dad and I will fly to the Mainland to be there for him. I am really trying hard to stay positive, and just doing a lot of praying that everything will be okay. Leah - Your Mom was so lucky to have you. And know that you are never alone. Susan - I don't believe anything is by chance, that we are guided on our paths whatever that may be. This year will be ten years since I lost my precious Joeyson and some days are good, some not so good. But, as mentioned previously, I have other children I need to be there for, my other two sons and daughter. Sometimes it takes all I've got to muster the energy to face the day. Then my eight year old granddaughter, who never had the opportunity to meet her Uncle Joe, will give me a message from him, and make me smile. Dee - Thank you for all your loving words and beautiful support. Sending love and light back to you as well as everyone here. Colleen - I understand where you're coming from. I'm sure Copper is happy to be with your son. I had such a hard time when we had to put our miniature schnauzer down at the age of 13 due to a tumor on his neck. He loved Joseph, and I can just picture the two of them together again. This is a picture of my beautiful angel son Joseph. Sending everyone love and God's Blessings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted July 12, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 Happy 24th Birthday, Brian Jackson, Forever 16Love you Mom. Colleen, Brian's Mom forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted July 12, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 That is why we come together on this site...to be with those who understand...we surround ourselves with friends who we don't have to 'explain'....in fact...we are understood without having to say anything at all.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted July 12, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 Colleen....I have always dedicated the song..'Forever Young' to all my children...and your Brian will always be...16....thinking of you today... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted July 12, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 Brian,we say your name today in honor of the day of your birth. May this day bring sweet remembrances for you Colleen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted July 12, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 Laura, thanks for sharing the picture of your son, Joseph. Prayers for your older son who is facing this heart trouble. It seems once we have experienced this type of loss, we never take things for granted again. Let us know how things go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted July 12, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 BRIAN the Smiling Boy-Happy heavenly birthday Sweetie, we raise our eyes to the heavens above and send our smiles to you, send our love to you, reminding you that we know you, through your Momma's heart and we love you. Colleen and Family, blessed are you to have Brian in your lives for all time, he rests in your love and takes delight in your laughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted July 12, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 Laural, your beautiful Son looked to be a very happy and sweet spirit. He will be with you as you prepare to leave for the mainland and he will sit atop the doctor's shoulder as surgery goes on for your Son. May all go well and may your Son find complete healing and a long strong happy life. Keep us posted Dear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted July 12, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 Laural....thank you for sharing that photo of your SONshine boy, Joseph...we have a history of fishing in our family...my parents had a beach cabin in Matagorda ...built when I was 5....so I grew up with a Daddy that fished ...we really believe in that saying: If you give a boy a fish...you feed him for a day...If you take a boy fishing...you feed him for life... Our John David would always be the first to catch a fish... Please keep us informed about the upcoming surgery....why did ya'll move to Hawaii ? Our daughter graduated from University of Hawaii....a long story about how that came to be.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LauraI Posted July 12, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 12, 2015 Colleen, thinking of you on this speical day. Know your son Brian is always with you and watching over you. Sending you hugs and may Brian's golden light shine down on you with lots of love. Susan, thank you. Joseph loved to fish or do whatever as long as he was with family and friends. Your saying is spot on. Just spending time together is the most precious gift of all. I'm originally from Mass and my husband from CA. We met in the Navy where I served for 20 years and retired in 99. We were contemplating whether to move to Lake Tahoe or Hawaii. My husband loved both. We had been stationed in Hawaii twice, once in the 80s and once in the 90s. We decided to take the kids and move to Lake Tahoe where we lived for 10 years, and then 2 years in Carson City, Nevada. We are both federal workers, and Mike applied for a job here in Hawaii twice. The first time he was offered the position, he turned it down because of me. I was not ready to leave my children even though they were living on their own. Two years later, he was offered another job out here and accepted the position,, so I quit my job and moved out here with him. We have been raising my 8 year old granddaughter since she was born so she came out here with us. My youngest son who is now 28 also moved out here with us, and lives with us until he can get his own place eventually. About six months after moving here, I was offered another federal position similar to what I was doing in Nevada, and we have been here for three years so far. Just bought a brand new house two years ago, have a beautiful view of Diamond Head. The only thing of course that is hard for me, is being away from my two children who live on the Mainland. My oldest son who lives with his wife and two kids, and my daughter who lives with her boyfriend and their daughter. She is expecting another baby next month. Dee, thank you for your support and beautiful thoughts. I know my son Joseph will be watching over his older brother and help us all through this. Positive thoughts and lots of prayers. When he had his cardiac arrest last year, he had to be resucitated 18 times, and he made it through that. I just have to continue with knowing he will be okay. Love and Blessings to all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted July 13, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2015 More later...I guess everyone on this site..can figure out....my 'cocooning' days have come to an end....I will have to deal with the many people...I Miss Me..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tobyfreefoot Posted July 13, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2015 oh my 24 colleen how each year flies and drags all at once. i can't believe he is 24. i can feel that in my heart. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRIANMAY YOUR FUN LOVING ENERGY FILL YOUR MAMA'S HEART TODAY AS SHE REMEMBERS WHAT JOY YOUR LIFE BROUGHT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted July 13, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2015 Gretchen....so sorry to hear your MIL passed....were you close to her ? I know I liked my MIL a lot more than she liked me...I always admired all that she knew and could do...knitting..crocheting..canning ...I asked her many times to teach me...but I think the fact of how Daniel was raised and how I was raised...worlds apart...was something she could never come to terms with...he has 5 older sisters...they have the most caustic and toxic mouths...as long as she was alive...I honored and respected her and the family get togethers...but..when she passed...I no longer have to attend. Two of his sisters have made some major changes in their personalities and come and visit. There is always some 'drama' going on...arguments..and such within his family. It is as if they do not respect the gift of life or each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kathyjm Posted July 13, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2015 Hello all, I would like to say I am sorry for your losses. Especially those of u who have had recent losses. I lost one of my twins,Mikayla, 2 years ago on their 14 birthday . she died the same day she was born 14 years later. I am pulling myself out of the depression quite a bit but I have 3 other children and I am still fighting the constant fear of losing another one. I am not so sure I could pull through a second one. Anyway I am looking for advice on how to move on from here. I got a job a couple of weeks ago and I am at least sleeping now and it gives me some purpose. I still have to make myself go go most days. I would rather just hide from the world. I have to keep pulling. Is there anything I can do to motivate myself on those really bad days besides hide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted July 13, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2015 Brian- send a gentle breeze to your mom even today in your way of letting her know that you are there with her always. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted July 13, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2015 Susan, I am thinking you being about 2 months ahead of me...I can function better than at first. But definitely this has taken its toll physically. It is good you are feeling a bit more able to do more...I am doing more but I have limited myself to only those who count in my life. This has been a refining process for me...tonight I am driving with my daughter and grandson to visit my sister-in-law...we are going to try to do some activities...unfortunately, my right foot is giving me a lot of trouble. (I had thought I broke it but they said no) now I have to wear shoes a whole size and a half larger...sigh... Is it hot down there? It seems like it has been really humid and sticky here...your pool would be so inviting right about now... *********************************************************** Kathy, I am so sorry for the loss of your girl. I think once we lose a child, that fear of knowing how it just takes a second to change our world is hard to face. I am about where you are at in the grief journey...though right now I stay home and take care of my grandson. Don't mind. ************************************************************* Dianne, always good to see your Michael's picture. ************************************************************Laura, saying prayers for your older son's operation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LauraI Posted July 13, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2015 Laurie, thank you for your prayers. I hope your foot heals quickly. Kathy, it will be 10 years for me when my son passed on Thanksgiving Day with two of our cousins. I had those same feelings where I just felt drained all the time, and some days were just really tough in getting up. I have three other children and my husband. I found that helping others helped me heal, and wanting to be there for my family when they need me. They are all grown and on their own, but I need to be strong for them. They have been my support and I have been theirs. With my oldest son right now facing open heart surgery, I have been so emotional these last few days but I know I have to stay positive, and have faith. It's definitely hard not to think the worst, but I can't think that way for the sake of my son, my family and for me. God helped us through his cardiac arrest last year, and I believe he will help us through this. I believe in prayers, and have been saying a lot of extra prayers lately. Sending you hugs and love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shorty16 Posted July 13, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2015 Kathyjm,I too had such a fear of losing my 2 surviving children. What I did was tell my kids how I feel. I told them That, right now, I worry. Unknown if I will always worry, but now I do. So when I call, text, leave a message, ring bells, what ever, please respond.A second thing I did is too reel myself in when my heart jumps out of my chest, because Aaron has not responded yet.This takes a long time and is a constant struggle for me. But telling my kids how I feel, especially since Brian died, has made them aware of my feelings.Take care my friendColleen, Brian's Mom forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted July 13, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2015 Laurie....in the last two months I have had lots of family/friends kind of social get togethers...Pibby has been more active and I have had to be there to 'take her' or 'get her'....and she invites her friends over lots to go swimming...Jeremy came home and we had our Port 'A' vacation...and then Charles died...and I have had to be there for Mary Ann and the kids...and taking care of the apartments...I feel as if I have been 'scooted' out of my nest.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted July 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 14, 2015 Hi All, I was at a wonderful teachers workshop today and will be tomorrow and Wednesday downtown at the Art Institute. It is a teacher workshop all about where Art and Science meet. I signed up more than a month ago, weighing whether or not I thought it would work for me during the dates of my Girl leaving. I signed up and figured if I did not feel up to it, I would forgo, but I am going and glad of it. After the class I walked around Milennum Park, which did not open until after Erica died so she never experienced it, she would have loved it, and I walked around the new Maggie Daley Park, which is a delight especially for kids from age 8 and up, giant slides and climbing walls, great place with Lake Michigan on one side and the towering skyscrapers on the other...some beautiful gardens lay in between, the Lurie Gardens, and I walked there as well. The heat index was 100 today, due to the humidity and stormy on and off weather. I needed to visit all of those places though, in order to take Erica with me to places that I believe she would enjoy. 12 years tomorrow, it is simply a number I tell myself, a two digit number that one day will exceed her number of years here. I will write more tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LauraI Posted July 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 14, 2015 Colleen, I shared with my children also, especially my youngest son. He always called me when he got to Point B and when he was leaving to come back home again. He lives here in Hawaii with me until he can get a place of his own, and he alwyas lets me know where he's at. BTW, he's 28 years old. Love him to the moon and back. Dee, sounds like you had a very blessed day. I know Erica enjoyed your visits also. God Bless You. Everyone have a beautiful night. Love and Blessings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted July 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 14, 2015 Dee.....I so know what you are 'talking about' with taking new things/experiences in with our child....it is so hard to explain...hard for anyone...like us....to understand....'but' we know you are taking your girl with you....we see...with new eyes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted July 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 14, 2015 Dee- my thoughts are with you on this day. Long before a daughter is born, she is deeply loved. Daughters are often a mother's best friend, her ally, and her most precious treasure. I wish I had the right words that could offer the comfort you need to feel and hold close to you. But know that the rays of sunshine in the early morning and the moonbeams dancing outside your window are Eri keeping you close. I hope she has made a heavenly friend with Michael as she sounds like such a wonderful girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TearsInHeaven Posted July 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 14, 2015 Laural--thoughts and prayers are being sent out to your son as he faces his surgery, and to you as you face a mother's tremble. Joseph will be right in that operating room keeping his brother safe. Laurie, again thanks for the kind words. As you see, another sleepless night but this time the demons are at bay and not tempting me to do something stupid. Traveling for work, so that is always lonely. Not to mention Houston is pretty hot right now. Kathyjm-I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I am somewhat new to this journey. I did find working to be a help because for snippets of time I was able to not think about my son. Not that he is EVER out of my thoughts but it just helped to divert. I also spend time "talking" to him. He was grown and on his own but we talked alot. So now I have those conversations in my head. Not crazy stuff but it keeps him "there". Maybe physically he is gone but emotionally he will always be with us. Worrying about your children is a mother's middle name.Your children need you and together you will learn to live with Mikayla's loss one day,or one hour, or one minute at a time. Now she is the best guardian angel your children could ever have. Not sure I qualify in advice because my journey has been pretty rocky. The people on this site have helped so much. One of Michael's friend was up visiting his parents and stopped by to check on us. His friends from home have been so kind to us. One of his friends from work put together an animated clip in his memory. He sent it to us and is trying to get the radio station to do something with it. It was short and a little odd but so thoughtful. Plus at the end he had Michael's voice on it. Somewhere our contemporaries raised very thoughtful kids that turned into compassionate adults. Too bad some of us olders lose that compassion. I think it must be true about how people stay away like we are reminders of something they would not want to face. Dianne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sistergldnhair66 Posted July 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 14, 2015 I've been quiet, but been reading bits... Leah, so very sorry for the loss of your mom. Rest assured she knew your love, and your heart can rest easy knowing you did all that you could to make her last days comfortable and have her at home with you. <3 Gretchen, that poem you wrote touched my soul... as did the pics of your grandbaby by Forest's gravesite...3 Georgina....how special finding the note from James. I too, found a Christmas card from Matthew, never given to me, and I also found a note to me on a Mother's Day, long forgotten about, and it was so very special. Laurie, I must touch on this subject you spoke of..."meaningful coincidences" because it made me think. I lost my business, my livelihood, just 6 weeks to the day after Matthew's death. Over the past few months...I've been thinking...Gosh, I couldn't have supported him and me after this. Was it a strange twist of fate that he passed, did he know my financial state would come crashing down? I don't know how I would manage, taking care of him financially, as he could not work, and we were appealing his SSDI case. I can barely manage taking care of myself, might lose my home....i don't know. I wish my mind would stop sometimes. Susan, yes, it sounds like you have been outed from your cocooning, to help your dear friend. How lucky she is to have you. Sherry, hugs for your sweet dog. I recently had to put my last dog to sleep. My dear sweet Declan, we had three labs, one of each color, and he was the last baby. So very stoic until the end. It's so hard as these furbabies become our family. And Dee...your sweet Eri. I hope she sends you signs all around you. Colleen, Happy heavenly Birthday to your dear boy..."Forever Young" as Susan said. Dianne, I know of the darkness you speak of. I have it too. The pit of despair. I too, carry a bag, that I put my troubles in, but this one....this one won't fit. I have to wear it. It's so heavy to carry. It is a bag that noone would want to carry, and only those that carry it as well, can understand. As our guides here have taught me...don't fight it. Fall into it, and roll with it. Take care of you best you can. <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted July 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 14, 2015 Dee my thoughts and prayers are with you today. I hope you sweet girl shows you she's near. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted July 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 14, 2015 Eileen....it breaks my heart...to hear of the struggles many parents on this site have to face after losing their child...I wonder how they can endure....with carrying the heavy weight of grief...and that dark sadness....I will not candy coat this...you have lost a lot....I am so hoping that you do not have to lose your home.What I have discovered is that our mental capacity in dealing with powerful problems is simply not there after having this kind of grief... I could have some lucid moments....but for the most part I had brain fog...and I still do...and once again....it has to do with me having this kind of time warp....'That was then...this is now'....I am absorbing what is 'now'.....and trying to fit it all into 'the 'me' I am now'...it is complicated and complex....and down right exhausting...I do know this truth....only a parent that has lost a child can understand...I had no way of knowing what parents were going through...until it happened to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted July 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 14, 2015 Dianne....so glad you had a friend of your SONshine boy to come and visit....John David's friends have been a source of what I call...'sacred visitation'....he is remembered and thought of...which is balm on a parent's heart... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted July 14, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 14, 2015 Kathyjm.....you asked about 'motivation' to get you through the days and weeks.... I just don't think there is anything on the face of the earth that can motivate a parent that has lost a child...For me.....all I can do is simply take it one day at a time...When I wake up...the first thing that comes to me...is...'What will I do....without you'....then I take some baby steps that brings me into the morning.... One thing I do is something I have done since I was a little girl....my Grama would always want to hear the birds...she would say...'Listen...the birds are singing up the sun'....I do that because I can hear her voice saying that...I am in my 3rd year now....I am trying to find a place and balance to sit between Grace and Grief...It is a day by day journey...there are no shortcuts...we can't jump over it....can't dance around it....we simply have to go through it....we will never get over it.I know there is healing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Everly Posted July 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 15, 2015 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted July 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 15, 2015 I was going to 'write' before....but....the phone rang...the GRANDson came in...had to feed him..and then.... Dee...when I came upon this site....you were there....and all I can think is that....I hope we can be there for you...I remember there was a 'zilchted' on this site...and you contacted me by e-mail....I was in panic mode...and you let me know you were 'there' I am still the same....you are my touchstone...our lives are so different in context and style...or where we live or how we live...but...all I can think about on this angelversary for you....is how you carry your girl...with grace, style and love...I will never...ever...let you go out of my life...for you have thrown the life jacket to me...I wish I could be more poetic for you...as you have been for me....maybe when I move into my 4th or 5th or 6th year....but as you know....for you have been in that 3rd year....as you only know it....and I did not know you then...I do know for sure...your girl will let you know she is with you....as she always has. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members daveydow1 Posted July 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 15, 2015 ERICA....ERICA.....ANGEL...SWEET ERI.......FLY HIGH IN YOUR BRIGHTPINK CLOUDS, AND SMILE DOWN ON YOUR MAMA AND FAMILY. Dee------I'm sorry that I missed ERi's ANGELDAY, yesterday.......but am thinking about you and your sweet girl. Peace and tranquility. BRIAN.......HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY.....AN ANGEL..... FOREVER 16. Colleen----Thinking of you and sending prayers...... Susan----Thanks for your kind words. Also....thanks for the screenshots and pics.....'Heartache'.....Yes...it isan overwhelming sorrow that can bring us to our knees. I remember crumpling to my knees whenwe first viewed our David, and baby Lisa long ago, at the funeral home. Beforehand, I had a terrible fearthat I would just die away....right there, but the saying "weak in the knees" took over instead, andI went down.....not fainting....just "weak in the knees". I'm sure that everyone here at BI knows this firsthand.It's the shock, of course, and I guess that it somehow protects us. PEACE AND COMFORT TO ALL INDIGOS. Davey&Lisasmom, Sherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted July 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 15, 2015 Sherry....I, too, found myself on my knees many times in that first two years...it was as if someone punched me and I had no air...the pain was sharp....very physical...I knew then...what they meant by a broken heart... I want you to know that you are a 'touchstone' to me, also.....Kate...and Colleen....all of you that have stayed on this site to be a bridge over dark waters....new parents do need the help of parents that have survived this kind of grief...I am in this 3rd year...I am remembering memories...I guess the 'shock suit' fits so tight the first couple of years....it is a protective suit, also...it is like we go on auto-pilot....I have my energy level back....I have been blessed with enough energy for 10 people...after losing John David...I did not have the energy or wherewithal to pull a dead cat out of the house....I started walking on the treadmill...and now I am sleeping better...not great..but better....and I will take better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted July 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 15, 2015 Laurie...I hope you are enjoying your visit...how is your foot..?? Did you fall or something drop on it ? I have a friend that has been hobbling around for 2 weeks....I think she has gout....she won't go to the Dr. and her diet is horrible. I think she is afraid she will have to change her eating habits if she goes and hears what a Dr. says.. Have you researched anything on reincarnation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tobyfreefoot Posted July 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 15, 2015 this is one of my all time favorite rock stars.makes me terribly sad for him, his wife and this young man's twin brother Nick Cave's Teenage Son Arthur Dies After Cliff Fall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted July 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 15, 2015 Hi All, have not yet read today as I have just arrived home from the workshop I attended. I am posting a poem I wrote on Eri's anniversary day. How?How indeed! I reply when folks ask,” how did you survive this loss?”When you have to learn how to breathe again- walk again-Find your pieces and build them into a somewhat useable facsimile of your former self---again.The incredible energy it takes The many long increments of time that saw no light-Pools of salt water that surround your being-The lack of focus-The hyper focus-The fear, the horrid fear that takes hold-The constant murmur of prayer,The fresh cemetery dirt on your jeans-And the calendar dates imprinted on your soul-The loss of relationships-The solidifying of others-The whispers of madness-The one and two steps forward—and three steps back of it all-And the overwhelming loveThe overwhelming “YES” I would suffer it all in order to have known such a girl as She.For what she gave and continues to give is how indeed, I have survived. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members InHeavensKeeping Posted July 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 15, 2015 Dee wow I just love the poem. You should put all of them in a book. Your so good with words and describe exactly how the loss makes us feel. Thank you xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mermaid Tears Posted July 15, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 15, 2015 Dee...only you....can put the words to the madness... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Everly Posted July 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 16, 2015 Dee, that poem is amazing!!!!! I love it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jesse David & Taylor Mom Posted July 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 16, 2015 Dee, thank you for sharing the beautiful poem. May gentleness hold you tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted July 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 16, 2015 Hey Folks, thank you for the wishes for us as the dates swept us up in the frenzy that is anniversary time. And thanks for your sweet kindness, so glad that you liked that poem. It seemed to capture the pulse that exists in our lives after we lose a precious one. Remember that in all learning, in all acquisition of skills in our lives, we are in the midst of a process. It is true for Grief as well, it is an ongoing process. Gretchen, I was sorry to read the news you posted...Nick Caves Son dying so tragically. Prayers to the family, to his friends. Our Angels will welcome him to the fold...the concerns now will be for those left to find a way to live. Susan, you wrote something last evening about feeling supported here; I always feel your care and support here on this site, this second home for me/us. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rlolheiser Posted July 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 16, 2015 I have missed so much... I read quickly.. to quickly.. been so very busy... Dee... you have done so much for me sorry to be late... Thought of you and Erica.. your whole family... you are such a blessing to us all. I go back to Williston for services today... so afraid. I have lost it more than once. I don't know why I am being hit so hard. I know moms passing was the best thing for her, but it has left me in such a dark place. Trying so hard to get out of it... Thank you so much for the prayers and thoughts everyone. To many to name.. but in truth.. my brain isn't working... I just know I appreciate you all so much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ericasmom Posted July 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 16, 2015 Leah, your Mom's passing has to impact your heart, let it. I know that you are afraid of breaking down, but you also know that it is necessary to let it out, the missing and pain of remembering all that went on in your Mom's life is Huge, she is your Momma. It dredges all the loss in your life and it also speaks to our own aging process. We cannot help but travel in the past to remember a Mom or a Child, we also can't help flying forward to see a life without them...you are allowed and supposed to grieve, falling apart does not imply not getting back up again, perhaps it is the fear of how much energy it takes to do so, but you will find it again, it will be different but it will come. You are the matriarch of the family and with that comes the weight of taking care of so much, though you have been doing this for as long as I have known you here. It is okay to set boundaries on those who need you, let them know that you need to have space and time to grieve. We are all with you as this process begins to unfold.never worry about acknowledging our anniversary dates on the actual date Leah, your love and support are always present. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Steve s mom Posted July 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 16, 2015 Hi all,I know I haven't been around for a little while.But I am always thinking of you and our angel babies.Tomorrow would have been Steves 33 rd birthday.He's been gone 44 months now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LauraI Posted July 16, 2015 Members Report Share Posted July 16, 2015 Aloha everyone, Just a quick note. Haven't gone through all the posts yet. Blessings to all. Just wanted to share one thing that happened to me at work today. I haven't shared what I do. I work at the Army Medical Hospital assisting Soldiers who need to go through the medical board process, and potentially prepare to transition out of the Army. A new case I received today was a young man with a hereditary heart condition that cause him to have a cardiac arrest and subsequently a defribillator put in. Almost identical to my oldest son, who is facing open heart surgery in early August. A coincidence? don't think so. Love and Blessing to all.Laura Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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