Members Griefsucks810 Posted January 31 Members Report Share Posted January 31 On 11/23/2023 at 7:45 PM, RichS said: My typical routine is to go to bed around 11:30 or 12:00 midnight 8 hours ago, KayC said: I can't nap either. Me either. I tried to many times without success. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Griefsucks810 Posted January 31 Members Report Share Posted January 31 I usually start laying down at 9pm and turn onto my side to go to bed for the night between 10-1030 pm the latest and it usually takes me 1-2 hours to fall asleep. I wake up 2x’s per night and able to fall back asleep within a few minutes. I’m lucky to get 5-6 hours of sleep. The sleep aid I’m prescribed doesn’t help me fall asleep quicker either. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rlh Posted January 31 Members Report Share Posted January 31 3 hours ago, widower2 said: ah got ya...unfortunately I'm quite a ways from any library. Not sure how I'd play them anyway; the only CD/DVD player I have is the one connected to the TV downstairs. I guess I could buy a portable player. It is a good idea overall! I do the electronic ones like Munchkin mentioned. I can check them out from my home and play them right from my phone through Overdrive/Libby. I think the only CD/DVD players I have in the house anymore are our game consoles. 1 hour ago, HisMunchkin said: Check to see if your local library offer ebooks? Mine does. You can borrow them online so no need to go to the library except maybe to get your library card. See here. https://www.overdrive.com/apps/libby 1 hour ago, Griefsucks810 said: I usually start laying down at 9pm and turn onto my side to go to bed for the night between 10-1030 pm the latest and it usually takes me 1-2 hours to fall asleep. I wake up 2x’s per night and able to fall back asleep within a few minutes. I’m lucky to get 5-6 hours of sleep. The sleep aid I’m prescribed doesn’t help me fall asleep quicker either. Sounds a bit like me, but I'm in bed 8-830, and sometimes passing out doesn't happen until 11, despite how exhausted I've been. 😫 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted February 7 Author Moderators Report Share Posted February 7 Pushing 2 AM, have had more to drink than I'd care to admit...wide awake. O yay. I guess old habits die hard! 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post SSC Posted February 7 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted February 7 On 1/30/2024 at 6:39 PM, rlh said: I do the electronic ones like Munchkin mentioned. I can check them out from my home and play them right from my phone through Overdrive/Libby I do the same! I never used to listen to books before my husband passed away and now it’s like my brain switched and listening is much easier than it used to be. I find this method very convenient and cost effective. I find books with a soft female British narrator puts me to sleep without fail. I even have to be careful not to listen to this soothing voice tone while driving on long road trips because it makes me so sleepy! I highly recommend giving it a try as it costs nothing and as a bonus you’ll find interesting books to listen to at other times! I love Libby! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members HisMunchkin Posted February 7 Members Report Share Posted February 7 I haven't been able to fall asleep lately either. Even melatonin doesn't help. But in the morning, I don't want to get up. I have to drag myself out of bed. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 7 Moderators Report Share Posted February 7 Melatonin never helped me but my daughter swears by it. I've tried candles, scents, meditation, you name it, nada! I finally tried a sleeping pill, it's good for about four hours, sometimes more. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members HisMunchkin Posted February 7 Members Report Share Posted February 7 I've tried sleeping pills before, but I'd wake up all groggy and feel as though I didn't sleep much. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 8 Moderators Report Share Posted February 8 I only feel groggy if I don't get enough sleep. Maybe yours were too strong? Talk to your doctor about it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rey Dominguez Jr Posted February 10 Members Report Share Posted February 10 It’s 12:25 am in Sandy Eggo as I type this. At midnight I started hearing some sounds of fireworks. Bursts, small ones, in the distance. Of course, Chinese New Year starts and it is the year of the dragon. I am sure we’ll hear more during the evening hours of Saturday and Sunday. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 10 Moderators Report Share Posted February 10 We have no such celebration here, maybe in Eugene... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted February 10 Author Moderators Report Share Posted February 10 I'm in the South. The only such sounds you hear are people in the woods shooting guns (to hunt or just to practice). 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RichS Posted February 10 Members Report Share Posted February 10 6 hours ago, widower2 said: I'm in the South. The only such sounds you hear are people in the woods shooting guns (to hunt or just to practice). We have a place like that in North Carolina: It's called Durham. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted February 10 Author Moderators Report Share Posted February 10 I thought it was called "North Carolina" 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jemiga70 Posted February 10 Members Report Share Posted February 10 I'm in Thailand for the time being (early Sunday a.m. as I write) and the firecrackers have been going off here too - not that theyre disturbing my sleep. Last 2 nights, I wouldnt even call it sleep. It was more like I drifted off for a few hours inside anxiety fueled dreams. My mind races a lot too. Not willing to try medication. Tried booze - it's cheap here - but it always ends up taking me down too dark a road. 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 11 Moderators Report Share Posted February 11 Yes, alcohol is a depressant, not what we need in grief. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted February 11 Author Moderators Report Share Posted February 11 Just adding that "depressant" doesn't mean "makes you depressed." It basically means something that decreases mental or physical function. In fact, alcohol can make one feel good (hence its massive popularity). But of course it's a trap like many drugs, and I agree that it's not a good crutch to lean on in general, including during grief, for a wide variety of reasons (bad for your health, etc). Says the guy who drinks too much. ugh 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post Rey Dominguez Jr Posted February 11 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted February 11 My older son is living with me for the time being while he gets his job situation sorted out. He likes to drink beer after work and while he’s grilling meat outside. Very often he will ask if I want to have a shot of bourbon or whiskey. 9 times out of 10 I will, politely, turn him down. Don’t want to get into the situation of relying on alcohol to help me deal. Trying to avoid going down that road. And I am pretty sure drinking too much beer, even lite beer, “watery light American beer” is he calls it, would not be good for my gut or my weight. 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Griefsucks810 Posted February 12 Members Report Share Posted February 12 I’m having trouble falling asleep despite starting to unwind in my bed at 9pm every night and stop watching tv at 10pm. I would like to be asleep by 11pm nightly but i don’t fall out till 1 or 2 am. I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong - maybe walking the dog during the day isn’t enough; maybe if I start being more active during the day will wear me out. Any ideas or suggestions what I can do during the day so I can wear myself out and fall asleep a decent hour at night? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted February 12 Author Moderators Report Share Posted February 12 More exercise could help - I don't mean a quick 15 min walk but vigorous exercise for at least 20-30 mins non-stop. Maybe if you drink coffee, drink less or stop altogether? Just some thoughts. And that said, neither really worked for me unfortunately, but I'm limited in what I can do exercise-wise lately and didn't drink much coffee in the first place. I think if I had a job that was manually intensive like construction, I'd be fine at night, but I don't, I sit at a PC all day for my job. But in general I just feel like keeping busy helps vs kind of hanging out waiting for bed time. Someone earlier mentioned reading or even audiobooks...I don't have much patience to read much these days, so might try the audiobook thing. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post Jemiga70 Posted February 12 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted February 12 32 minutes ago, Griefsucks810 said: Any ideas or suggestions what I can do during the day so I can wear myself out and fall asleep a decent hour at night? I hesitate to suggest anything because we're all different, I'm not a doctor, and I don't know your daily responsibilities and physical limitations. So I'll just say for me: Long walks or long bike rides, every day, with sprint segments to get my heart pounding. If I had a physically demanding job exercise would be redundant, but my work is online. I quit coffee for tea. Tea has caffeine but doesnt cause anxiety or interfere with my sleep. No news. It's mostly fear based and negative. Spiritual - not religious - podcasts. Sound meditations (youtube). 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted February 12 Author Moderators Report Share Posted February 12 I also found that turning on my clock radio to something calm like classical music while I'm in bed helps. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Griefsucks810 Posted February 12 Members Report Share Posted February 12 1 minute ago, Jemiga70 said: I hesitate to suggest anything because we're all different, I'm not a doctor, and I don't know your daily responsibilities and physical limitations. So I'll just say for me: Long walks or long bike rides, every day, with sprint segments to get my heart pounding. If I had a physically demanding job exercise would be redundant, but my work is online. I quit coffee for tea. Tea has caffeine but doesnt cause anxiety or interfere with my sleep. No news. It's mostly fear based and negative. Spiritual - not religious - podcasts. Sound meditations (youtube). Thanks for replying to my post. Ive been a retiree for the last 8 years and don’t have much going on in my life. My daily responsibilities are walking the dog 2-3 times per day and maintaining my apartment the best I can. The only physical limitation I have is that I can’t do strenuous activity with my lower back due to prior injury. I’ve been reading that green tea is supposed to help boost metabolism and reduce high cholesterol level but at the same time the drawback is that diabetics shouldn’t drink green tea cuz it can raise your blood sugar; im pre-diabetic and don’t wanna take the risk so I’ll talk to my pcp about it at my visit next month. I stopped watching the news 4 years ago cuz you’re right it’s fear based and negative. Do the sound meditations help you with your sleep? What do I type in the YouTube search box - sound meditations or sleep meditations? 40 minutes ago, widower2 said: More exercise could help - I don't mean a quick 15 min walk but vigorous exercise for at least 20-30 mins non-stop. Maybe if you drink coffee, drink less or stop altogether? Just some thoughts. And that said, neither really worked for me unfortunately, but I'm limited in what I can do exercise-wise lately and didn't drink much coffee in the first place. I think if I had a job that was manually intensive like construction, I'd be fine at night, but I don't, I sit at a PC all day for my job. But in general I just feel like keeping busy helps vs kind of hanging out waiting for bed time. Someone earlier mentioned reading or even audiobooks...I don't have much patience to read much these days, so might try the audiobook thing. Are there free audiobooks online? If and when you find them, plz send me the website. Thanks 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Griefsucks810 Posted February 12 Members Report Share Posted February 12 13 minutes ago, widower2 said: I also found that turning on my clock radio to something calm like classical music while I'm in bed helps. I guess I should invest in a clock radio cuz I don’t have one. I don’t listen to music for some unknown reason. Thanks for the idea I’ll try it out once I get the clock radio cuz I need to start waking up the same time everyday. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted February 12 Author Moderators Report Share Posted February 12 20 minutes ago, Griefsucks810 said: Are there free audiobooks online? If and when you find them, plz send me the website. Thanks https://librivox.org/ 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Griefsucks810 Posted February 12 Members Report Share Posted February 12 53 minutes ago, widower2 said: More exercise could help - I don't mean a quick 15 min walk but vigorous exercise for at least 20-30 mins non-stop. Maybe if you drink coffee, drink less or stop altogether? Just some thoughts. And that said, neither really worked for me unfortunately, but I'm limited in what I can do exercise-wise lately and didn't drink much coffee in the first place. I think if I had a job that was manually intensive like construction, I'd be fine at night, but I don't, I sit at a PC all day for my job. But in general I just feel like keeping busy helps vs kind of hanging out waiting for bed time. Someone earlier mentioned reading or even audiobooks...I don't have much patience to read much these days, so might try the audiobook thing. Exercise is the key for me to lose weight and keeping my cardiovascular system healthy which will also lower my “bad” cholesterol level. It’s a matter of me starting to exercise cuz I keep putting it off. Do you exercise? If so what type of exercises do you do? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Griefsucks810 Posted February 12 Members Report Share Posted February 12 19 hours ago, Rey Dominguez Jr said: My older son is living with me for the time being while he gets his job situation sorted out. He likes to drink beer after work and while he’s grilling meat outside. Very often he will ask if I want to have a shot of bourbon or whiskey. 9 times out of 10 I will, politely, turn him down. Don’t want to get into the situation of relying on alcohol to help me deal. Trying to avoid going down that road. And I am pretty sure drinking too much beer, even lite beer, “watery light American beer” is he calls it, would not be good for my gut or my weight. Beer makes you gain weight especially in your belly. At least you know that alcohol is not the solution to deal with your grief. Have you talked with your son about his drinking - that it’s unhealthy for him and it can cause long term damage to his liver? If not it may be a good idea to talk to him about it cuz the alcohol will eventually take a toll on his liver. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted February 12 Author Moderators Report Share Posted February 12 12 minutes ago, Griefsucks810 said: Exercise is the key for me to lose weight and keeping my cardiovascular system healthy which will also lower my “bad” cholesterol level. It’s a matter of me starting to exercise cuz I keep putting it off. Do you exercise? If so what type of exercises do you do? Again I am limited thanks to an unruly sciatica situation.....I was jogging and try to keep that up, but have been very spotty. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Griefsucks810 Posted February 12 Members Report Share Posted February 12 4 minutes ago, widower2 said: Again I am limited thanks to an unruly sciatica situation.....I was jogging and try to keep that up, but have been very spotty. Sorry about the sciatica - it must be very painful for you to deal with. At least you’re trying. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted February 12 Author Moderators Report Share Posted February 12 Thanks - most of the time it's OK. But when it acts up, yikes. Just have to be careful in my geriatric state And in fairness, my spotty exercise can't be all blamed on that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DWS Posted February 12 Members Report Share Posted February 12 2 hours ago, Griefsucks810 said: Any ideas or suggestions what I can do during the day so I can wear myself out and fall asleep a decent hour at night? If you tune into Youtube, there are relaxation videos to help with sleep. Some have quiet music with calming nature scenes while others have just quiet nature sounds. The only setback with Youtube is they've increased their ad frequency which breaks up some of that chilling and relaxing. When I adopted my cat a few months into my grief, I found this video to entertain him. Little did I know how relaxing it made me feel. Something about watching these little balls of fur puts me in a gentler place.... 2 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted February 12 Author Moderators Report Share Posted February 12 In fact Youtube in general has helped more more than once, not just with relaxing music or videos, but in anything I'm interested in to kill time...concerts, videos of favorite comedians, documentaries, etc etc etc. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rey Dominguez Jr Posted February 12 Members Report Share Posted February 12 I found a YouTube channel by “The Relaxed Guy” that provides rain sounds for sleeping. Hard rain, gentle rain, thunder storms if that’s what you like. I select the gentle rain for sleep and turn it up a bit so all I hear is the rain sound. That and 15 mg of melatonin when I go to bed along with a Benadryl 25 mg. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 12 Moderators Report Share Posted February 12 8 hours ago, widower2 said: Maybe if you drink coffee, drink less or stop altogether? Or have it in the am but not pm? Last night I fell asleep (I walk my dog 45 min-hour twice/day, always have done this with my dogs for 36 years) and woke up in the middle of the night with lights on, tv remote in hand, glasses on! I'm glad I didn't lose my glasses in my sleep! It's hard to find something you're looking for when you can't see! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted February 12 Author Moderators Report Share Posted February 12 For sure! I don't have coffee past about 10 AM or so or I'll be up half the night - 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RichS Posted February 12 Members Report Share Posted February 12 10 hours ago, widower2 said: Again I am limited thanks to an unruly sciatica situation.....I was jogging and try to keep that up, but have been very spotty. I'm right there with you (step by step) dealing with the same problem. Had a shot last month. We'll see if that helps me........................ 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Griefsucks810 Posted February 12 Members Report Share Posted February 12 10 hours ago, widower2 said: Thanks - most of the time it's OK. But when it acts up, yikes. Just have to be careful in my geriatric state And in fairness, my spotty exercise can't be all blamed on that. You can only do what you can do. Im gonna start doing jump n jacks and stretch exercises for 15 minutes 2x’s per day which will be my 30 minutes of physical activity. Can’t do 30 minutes of nonstop physical activity yet; I’ll build up tolerance for that over time. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Griefsucks810 Posted February 12 Members Report Share Posted February 12 10 hours ago, DWS said: If you tune into Youtube, there are relaxation videos to help with sleep. Some have quiet music with calming nature scenes while others have just quiet nature sounds. The only setback with Youtube is they've increased their ad frequency which breaks up some of that chilling and relaxing. When I adopted my cat a few months into my grief, I found this video to entertain him. Little did I know how relaxing it made me feel. Something about watching these little balls of fur puts me in a gentler place.... 11 hours ago, widower2 said: https://librivox.org/ Thank you for providing me with this website. I just went onto the website and there is a lot to choose from. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Griefsucks810 Posted February 12 Members Report Share Posted February 12 7 hours ago, Rey Dominguez Jr said: I found a YouTube channel by “The Relaxed Guy” that provides rain sounds for sleeping. Hard rain, gentle rain, thunder storms if that’s what you like. I select the gentle rain for sleep and turn it up a bit so all I hear is the rain sound. That and 15 mg of melatonin when I go to bed along with a Benadryl 25 mg. I went on YouTube this morning and typed in “sleep music” and sleep music for insomnia came up along with sleep meditation. Does the sound of the rain really help you sleep? How long does it take for you to fall asleep with the rain sounds? It also said that classical music is the best kind of music to fall asleep to. I’m gonna try listening to a sleep sound tonight and see if it works. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members HisMunchkin Posted February 12 Members Report Share Posted February 12 I was woken up multiple times last night by feelings of anxiety. Not due to grief, but due to work related issues. I'm reading a book called "Resilient" by Rick Hanson, a neuropsychologist. In it he mentioned that when you're picturing something, a different part of the brain is activated, and activities in the part responsible for thought is minimized. So in order to silence rambling thoughts, try visualizing being in a place that offers you relaxation and peace, like a beach or the woods or whatever. I tried that and it seems to kind of work, though I find it hard to focus and the rambling thoughts seems to take over again. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rey Dominguez Jr Posted February 12 Members Report Share Posted February 12 2 hours ago, Griefsucks810 said: I went on YouTube this morning and typed in “sleep music” and sleep music for insomnia came up along with sleep meditation. Does the sound of the rain really help you sleep? I think it does. It covers up any other noise like the house creaking and the clock on the wall ticking and outside sounds. It’s like “pink noise”, that helps your brain calm down. Sad to say it also replaces the sound of Veronica sleeping next to me with her CPAP machine going. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Griefsucks810 Posted February 12 Members Report Share Posted February 12 10 minutes ago, Rey Dominguez Jr said: I think it does. It covers up any other noise like the house creaking and the clock on the wall ticking and outside sounds. It’s like “pink noise”, that helps your brain calm down. Sad to say it also replaces the sound of Veronica sleeping next to me with her CPAP machine going. Should I type in “pink noise” instead? This is all new to me and I’m scared that I won’t fall asleep. How long does it take you to fall asleep listening to the noise? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted February 12 Author Moderators Report Share Posted February 12 Can also try this: https://mynoise.net/noiseMachines.php 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Griefsucks810 Posted February 12 Members Report Share Posted February 12 12 minutes ago, widower2 said: Can also try this: https://mynoise.net/noiseMachines.php I clicked on link and it took me to the webpage. You have to pay a fee in order to get access to all the sounds. One category displayed the name of 4 sounds and there is a link as to how many more sounds the category has- when I clicked to see more sounds it redirects you to a page asking for payment along with a very long explanation breaking down all the operating costs are in order to properly run the website. There’s a “catch 22” to these sleep apps and meditation apps cuz they all want money. Aren’t there any free noise apps? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted February 12 Author Moderators Report Share Posted February 12 There are a lot of sounds there for free. The guy could easily charge for all of them, but he provides many for free, so I don't think he's all about money. Many free sounds on youtube as mentioned earlier too. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Griefsucks810 Posted February 12 Members Report Share Posted February 12 1 hour ago, widower2 said: There are a lot of sounds there for free. The guy could easily charge for all of them, but he provides many for free, so I don't think he's all about money. Many free sounds on youtube as mentioned earlier too. I found something on YouTube called “deep sleep sounds” which I think I’m gonna try out tonight; hopefully I’ll fall asleep cuz I didn’t sleep at all last night. The problem I’m having is that I can’t fall asleep at a decent hour - it takes hours for me to fall out despite unwinding at 9pm each night. I’m scared of this becoming long term cuz lack of sleep can cause health problems and I don’t need any additional health problems than I already have. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Griefsucks810 Posted February 12 Members Report Share Posted February 12 8 hours ago, widower2 said: For sure! I don't have coffee past about 10 AM or so or I'll be up half the night - I stopped drinking coffee 2 years ago. It’s too expensive for me cuz you gotta buy the coffee, the sugar and the half and half cream consistently which doesn’t fit into my budget. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted February 13 Moderators Report Share Posted February 13 I use HWC in mine. Don't use mid to late afternoon or evening. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted February 13 Author Moderators Report Share Posted February 13 Yeah I just put a little milk in mine, and I use instant anyway - not a coffee purist! One container lasts a long time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jemiga70 Posted February 13 Members Report Share Posted February 13 On 2/12/2024 at 10:37 AM, Griefsucks810 said: Do the sound meditations help you with your sleep? What do I type in the YouTube search box - sound meditations or sleep meditations? Actually, I found the sound meditations on Helping Parents Heal. (I have not lost a child but find HPH's resources helpful in my grief.) Here: https://www.helpingparentsheal.org/youtube-videos/sound-meditations/ Sound meditation probably helps with sleep in combination with the other things I do. I tried meditating the usual way by following someone's voice and trying to picture things in my mind, but I gave up because I'd get so distracted; my mind would wander the whole bloody time. With sound meditation, the host plays crystal bowls, chimes, sometimes a drum or others. There is some talking but I don't find it distracting. I've never heard of green tea potentially raising blood sugar levels - best to consult your doctor - but there are many other kinds of tea - black, white, oolong, pu er.... I lived in China for a while so I got to try all sorts. They "invented" it after all. In China tea is traditionally drunk without milk or sugar. - that's a British thing. Most Chinese are conscious of tea's medicinal effects. And then there are the delicious teas from India and Sri Lanka! Good luck, 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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