This & that

[shawnt]

I have been thinking about what Home means. I have this wonderful memory(feeling) of coming home after school and knowing that's where I was supposed to be, I fit and belonged.

I built a home with my wife, and then we filled it with kids and dog and cats and smells and memories. Right now I feel homesick, how do I make this a home again, I want my kids to feel they fit and belong, I want to fit and belong.

I hope it's not true that you can't go home again.

Missing Sue and homesick feel very similar.

*** I made this thread for anything that doesn't fit elsewhere****

[WithoutHer]

Home is what Vickie turned this tiny apartment into. 90% of what's here reflects her presence. Even the pets are all I have left of her. I see her in each of them. And yes before I retired and came home from work each day and she greeted me I was home and at peace in her company. Having retired right as the pandemic began couldn't have been better timing. We content being homebodies secluded together.

Now just making a store run and returning knowing she's not inside to greet me just makes life and home feel hollow and empty.

[Rey Dominguez Jr]

I am new to this forum and have been catching up on many members’ posts, but the comments here have struck home with me.  My wife, Veronica, passed on June 27 and she was laid to rest July 13 of this year.  Our home now feels so empty without my bride of 47 years here to greet me or to share a conversation with.  When I run errands I don’t have a sense of urgency to get back home because I know she is not here anymore.  Working on my car project in the garage feels a little less satisfying if I can’t share my success with her.  She is not here to share her latest conversation with her sister, or to text me asking me when I am coming back in the house.  It just feels so empty here, even with our two cats, which we brought home three years ago on her birthday.  Just missing her so much.

[KayC]

@Rey Dominguez Jr Welcome here, this is a place that is like a family, one that care and gets what others are going through, although not a one of us wishes any of us were here.  47 years, that is a long time!  I can only imagine how hard this must feel to you.  My heart goes out to you.  It helps to come here, to read and post, it helps us process our grief...

Grief Process

This is not a one-size-fits-all, what strikes us one day will be different a few months/years from now, so please save/print this for reference!

I want to share an article I wrote of the things I've found helpful over the years, in the hopes something will be of help to you either now or on down the road.

TIPS TO MAKE YOUR WAY THROUGH GRIEF

There's no way to sum up how to go on in a simple easy answer, but I encourage you to read the other threads here, little by little you will learn how to make your way through this.  I do want to give you some pointers though, of some things I've learned on my journey.

• Take one day at a time.  The Bible says each day has enough trouble of its own, I've found that to be true, so don't bite off more than you can chew.  It can be challenging enough just to tackle today.  I tell myself, I only have to get through today.  Then I get up tomorrow and do it all over again.  To think about the "rest of my life" invites anxiety.
• Don't be afraid, grief may not end but it evolves.  The intensity lessens eventually.
• Visit your doctor.  Tell them about your loss, any troubles sleeping, suicidal thoughts, anxiety attacks.  They need to know these things in order to help you through it...this is all part of grief.
• Suicidal thoughts are common in early grief.  If they're reoccurring, call a suicide hotline.  I felt that way early on, but then realized it wasn't that I wanted to die so much as I didn't want to go through what I'd have to face if I lived.  Back to taking a day at a time.  Suicide Hotline - Call 1-800-273-8255 or www.crisis textline.org or US and Canada: text 741741 UK: text 85258 | Ireland: text 50808
• Give yourself permission to smile.  It is not our grief that binds us to them, but our love, and that continues still.
• Try not to isolate too much.  
• There's a balance to reach between taking time to process our grief, and avoiding it...it's good to find that balance for yourself.  We can't keep so busy as to avoid our grief, it has a way of haunting us, finding us, and demanding we pay attention to it!  Some people set aside time every day to grieve.  I didn't have to, it searched and found me!
• Self-care is extremely important, more so than ever.  That person that would have cared for you is gone, now you're it...learn to be your own best friend, your own advocate, practice self-care.  You'll need it more than ever.
• Recognize that your doctor isn't trained in grief, find a professional grief counselor that is.  We need help finding ourselves through this maze of grief, knowing where to start, etc.  They have not only the knowledge, but the resources.
• In time, consider a grief support group.  If your friends have not been through it themselves, they may not understand what you're going through, it helps to find someone somewhere who DOES "get it". 
• Be patient, give yourself time.  There's no hurry or timetable about cleaning out belongings, etc.  They can wait, you can take a year, ten years, or never deal with it.  It's okay, it's what YOU are comfortable with that matters.  
• Know that what we are comfortable with may change from time to time.  That first couple of years I put his pictures up, took them down, up, down, depending on whether it made me feel better or worse.  Finally, they were up to stay.
• Consider a pet.  Not everyone is a pet fan, but I've found that my dog helps immensely.  It's someone to love, someone to come home to, someone happy to see me, someone that gives me a purpose...I have to come home and feed him.  Besides, they're known to relieve stress.  Well maybe not in the puppy stage when they're chewing up everything, but there's older ones to adopt if you don't relish that stage.
• Make yourself get out now and then.  You may not feel interest in anything, things that interested you before seem to feel flat now.  That's normal.  Push yourself out of your comfort zone just a wee bit now and then.  Eating out alone, going to a movie alone or church alone, all of these things are hard to do at first.  You may feel you flunked at it, cried throughout, that's okay, you did it, you tried, and eventually you get a little better at it.  If I waited until I had someone to do things with I'd be stuck at home a lot.
• Keep coming here.  We've been through it and we're all going through this together.
• Look for joy in every day.  It will be hard to find at first, but in practicing this, it will change your focus so you can embrace what IS rather than merely focusing on what ISN'T.  It teaches you to live in the present and appreciate fully.  You have lost your big joy in life, and all other small joys may seem insignificant in comparison, but rather than compare what used to be to what is, learn the ability to appreciate each and every small thing that comes your way...a rainbow, a phone call from a friend, unexpected money, a stranger smiling at you, whatever the small joy, embrace it.  It's an art that takes practice and is life changing if you continue it.
• Eventually consider volunteering.  It helps us when we're outward focused, it's a win/win.

(((hugs)))  Praying for you today.

 

[LMR]

13 hours ago, Rey Dominguez Jr said:

 When I run errands I don’t have a sense of urgency to get back home because I know she is not here anymore.  Working on my car project in the garage feels a little less satisfying if I can’t share my success with her.  She is not here to share her latest conversation with her sister, or to text me asking me when I am coming back in the house.  It just feels so empty here, even with our two cats, which we brought home three years ago on her birthday.  Just missing her so much.

I was out with my sister and her grandkids and we came across some weird sculptures and I thought I should take a photo of this and then came the thought, Why? Who am I going to share it with? I just walked away.

[Rey Dominguez Jr]

Random thoughts, this and that.  Wednesday, Aug 16, is one of those dreaded, even feared, “firsts” for me as this is the first wedding anniversary Veronica is not with me after 47 years.  This year would make 48.  The hole in my world is immense.  More “firsts” to come, but I will get through them with God Jehovah’s guidance, love, and mercy.

Do you know how challenging it can be to be driving somewhere when, all of a sudden, your eyes tear up and sobs boil up from your gut at certain memories?  Safely got to where I was going and took a minute to catch my breath.  Good thing my wife insisted on keeping a box of tissues in the truck.  

As an adult, I have never cried so much.  

KayC, thank you for the list of strategies for dealing with grief.  Gives me something to work with.  

[RichS]

Rey:  Welcome to our board. I lost my wife of 42 years in 2022. I can certainly relate to you loss, being married almost as long as you. You’ve come to a good place, here. People who will sympathize with you and offer advice when they can. Please continue to post here.

[shawnt]

I can add driving while crying to my skill set list.

People sure look at me funny a grown man bawling at the lights.

[KayC]

5 hours ago, Rey Dominguez Jr said:

Do you know how challenging it can be to be driving somewhere when, all of a sudden, your eyes tear up and sobs boil up from your gut at certain memories?

Yep! I had a long commute and sometimes I'd have to pull off the hwy because I was crying so hard and didn't want to kill someone....

[DWS]

My mind just wanders when I'm driving alone...particularly when I'm on familiar streets. Seeing couples in cars pulling into stores, restaurants, gas stations, etc...nonchalantly going here and there....is a constant reminder of the world that I don't have anymore. 

[Rey Dominguez Jr]

13 hours ago, Gator M said:

Although, I almost broke down at the dentist.

I have a dental appointment coming up next week.  Our, my, dental hygienist is an island girl from Hawaii.  I don’t think she has family on Maui.  But Veronica and I had been talking to her about our planned trip to Oahu, our last grand adventure.  We lived in Hawaii for a couple of years after we got married, as I was in the Submarine Service, and this was a return trip for old times sake.  Air and hotel reservations had been made when my wife’s kidney doctor called and told us to cancel because her labs told us her kidney function had dropped to stage 5 kidney failure the week before we were scheduled to leave in April.  Got her prepped for kidney dialysis, and things went downhill from there.  When I try to explain to the hygienist what happened, I am pretty sure I am going to lose it.  Happens every time I explain to someone else that doesn’t know.  

[KayC]

Let us know the day before or morning of when you are going.  Our thoughts and prayers will go with you.

[DWS]

19 hours ago, Gator M said:

My crying has mostly stopped.  Although, I almost broke down at the dentist.  

I don't cry as often either. I think it's because we eventually do get used to the landscape of our loss and find some type of stability there. With me, I find the tears will return when something new comes back into that landscape....telling someone from my past who doesn't know about my loss, discovering something new that I didn't know about Tom (usually in conversations with his daughter), remembering a random small event or chat with him that I'd forgotten, etc. 

[KayC]

23 hours ago, DWS said:

I don't cry as often either. I think it's because we eventually do get used to the landscape of our loss

With me I think I cried out all my tears, it's rare I ever cry anymore over anything.  I did cry when my friend's husband pulled through his surgeries, he's still convalescing but he's been at death's door for so many years!  I didn't want her to lose him like I lost my George.  Plus, I love him. He's just a very special man.  He's home recuperating now.

 

[widower2]

3 hours ago, KayC said:

With me I think I cried out all my tears, it's rare I ever cry anymore over anything.  

That's how I feel. I wonder if I will ever cry over losing anyone ever again, though I should. That part of me just feels frazzled and worn out, like it barely even functions anymore. 

[KayC]

I did cry plenty when Arlie and Kitty died.

[RichS]

1 hour ago, widower2 said:

part of me just feels frazzled and worn out

Yep, that describes me. Mostly low energy is the problem. Grief can certainly sap your strength. So can taking on more responsibilities.

[RichS]

9 minutes ago, Gator M said:

What's odd (or not) is I'm looking forward to it.  I don't want a debilitating illness but I'm ready. I understand those who want to stay, and I sympathize with those who want to go.

If it wasn't for my son and my uncle, I wouldn't mind booking the first flight to heaven (if they have a seat for me). But knowing that God works in strange and mysterious ways, I've got a feeling he has some other work for me and all of us here left to do; or else why are we still here posting on this board and involved with other things in our lives?

[KayC]

Unpacked this morning...took Kodie for a walk, came back to a red alert warning us of T&L storms Sat./Sun. No!  Please God, NO!

[widower2]

1 hour ago, KayC said:

Unpacked this morning...took Kodie for a walk, came back to a red alert warning us of T&L storms Sat./Sun. No!  Please God, NO!

ugh! Do you have storms like that which don't have rain?? We occasionally get flashes of "heat lightning" in the summer but to my knowledge they don't do any damage...otherwise, rain, thunder, and lightning always travel together (in big storms that is)

[RichS]

1 hour ago, KayC said:

Unpacked this morning...took Kodie for a walk, came back to a red alert warning us of T&L storms Sat./Sun. No!  Please God, NO!

Rain is what you need more than anything else; especially where those fires need to contained. Hope and pray the red alert ends soon.

[KayC]

Yes we get T&L w/o rain, rains don't start until October. Oakridge proper got a bit of rain yesterday, but none here.

Nope, they called off the evacuation so I unpacked.  It felt so good!  My neighbor said she stays packed until the rains start (October)...I'm going to take care of my grandkids three hours away for three days, Tues.-Thurs.  Then I got an alert, they're predicting lightning (I don't care about the thunder except it comes with it) this weekend...that's how the fires started.  So I packed again.  Will give Panther enough food for a week or so just in case when I leave.

My daughter said yesterday it was 100 in her apt with the A/C on, she's miserable and can't use the A/C in her car as it's leaking coolant. I hope she can get the car to my son's soon.  And it's too smokey to open the windows.  She's on the fourth floor and heat rises, that's why it's so hot in there!

[RichS]

I never knew that Oregon can suffer such a sweltering summer. I always thought the northwest was relatively cool and somewhat rainy.

[KayC]

That's how it used to be before global warming.  I never had an A/C before until last year, but needed one horribly the year before.

[KayC]

That it was! I remember leaving for work  at 4:30 am with my husband so I could get to work on time. He had an old Datsun pickup (no 4WD), and he had to be at work at 7, but always wanted to be 1/2 hour early. We'd  come down the mountain and he'd cut trees out of the road, me holding the flashlight! I saw him help semis out of the ditch.  We'd get there and when he got off at 5:30 he'd pick me up at the doctor's office where I worked.  I was pregnant, I'd shovel snow so patients wouldn't fall and hurt themselves...I got chewed out by the doctor for it...so I told him he'd better get to work early and do it then. One night we came home and Teddy, our Golden Retriever, his pen had collapsed from the weight of the snow (we had six feet) and he was so scared spitless he didn't even think of running off!  We  hooked him up to the middle post in the carport the next morning....when we got home he was howling, his nose sticking straight up out of the snow...barely.  A smaller dog would have died.  He'd wound himself around and around the post until he couldn't move and then all the snow came off the roof and landed on him!  I wanted a picture of him but didn't have the heart to make him wait while I took one.  Poor dog!  We got the pen fixed in short order.  
I came home from church one day, hit a rut in the road someone else must have made and it snowed over it.  As pretty as you please, my car hit that road and off it went iinto the ditch.  Some guys across the street saw and helped me get my car back on the road.  I headed home and the car quit right out front.  I walked down to the house, and had a hard time opening the door, all the weight on the roof...got inside and the bedroom door wouldn't open. The phone wasn't working.  I did the only thing a sane person would do, I prayed.  Along came a couple of guys from my church, said they'd wanted to see how much snow we'd gotten!  Are they nuts?!  My husband was up the highway working.  They shoveled my roof off, way into the night, a neighbor joined them.  We bought them all turkeys (it was right before Thanksgiving...except Dave, his wife was having a baby so we gave them $50 instead....this was 42 years ago.  She had it on TG and got turkey dinner and pumpkin  pie in the hospital.  I remember we went to go visit her and the baby.  Her name was Kay also, she named her daughter Mandy Kay and I named mine Melissa Kay a few months later.  The girls were best friends..

[widower2]

1 hour ago, KayC said:

Yes we get T&L w/o rain, rains don't start until October. Oakridge proper got a bit of rain yesterday, but none here.

Nope, they called off the evacuation so I unpacked.  It felt so good!  My neighbor said she stays packed until the rains start (October)...I'm going to take care of my grandkids three hours away for three days, Tues.-Thurs.  Then I got an alert, they're predicting lightning (I don't care about the thunder except it comes with it) this weekend...that's how the fires started.  So I packed again.  Will give Panther enough food for a week or so just in case when I leave.

My daughter said yesterday it was 100 in her apt with the A/C on, she's miserable and can't use the A/C in her car as it's leaking coolant. I hope she can get the car to my son's soon.  And it's too smokey to open the windows.  She's on the fourth floor and heat rises, that's why it's so hot in there!

Good gravy! 100 WITH the A/C? As in working A/C? Sounds like it would almost be advantageous to open a window! Anyway glad you were able to unpack! 

[KayC]

When I found out about the predictions, I packed again.  Going to my son's for three days, anything can happen while I'm gone.

[RichS]

45 minutes ago, KayC said:

He had an old Datsun pickup (no 4WD), We'd  come down the mountain and he'd cut trees out of the road, me holding the flashlight! I saw him help semis out of the ditch.  I was pregnant, I'd shovel snow so patients wouldn't fall and hurt themselves. One night we came home and Teddy, our Golden Retriever, his pen had collapsed from the weight of the snow (we had six feet) and he was so scared spitless he didn't even think of running off!  We  hooked him up to the middle post in the carport the next morning....when we got home he was howling, his nose sticking straight up out of the snow...barely.  A smaller dog would have died.  He'd wound himself around and around the post until he couldn't move and then all the snow came off the roof and landed on him! We got the pen fixed in short order.  

I came home from church one day, hit a rut in the road someone else must have made and it snowed over it.  As pretty as you please, my car hit that road and off it went iinto the ditch.  Some guys across the street saw and helped me get my car back on the road.  I headed home and the car quit right out front.  I walked down to the house, and had a hard time opening the door, all the weight on the roof...got inside and the bedroom door wouldn't open. The phone wasn't working.  I did the only thing a sane person would do, I prayed.  Along came a couple of guys from my church, said they'd wanted to see how much snow we'd gotten!

Kay:  I had to splice together all of these disasters you've gone through. WOW!! All I can say is how the pioneers of the 1800's in their covered wagons (without 4 wheel drive) ever got to places like the Dakotas, Montana, Wyoming, Idaho, Oregon and Washington is a miracle in itself. I had a professor in college who thought that the real pioneers were the ones that moved to Florida before they invented air-conditioning!

[widower2]

2 hours ago, KayC said:

When I found out about the predictions, I packed again.  Going to my son's for three days, anything can happen while I'm gone.

Good! Either way I think it'll be good to get away for awhile. 

[Rey Dominguez Jr]

Here in Sandy Eggo, we are preparing for Hurricane Hillary to hit from the south.  The weather people are saying it will be Cat 4 before it makes landfall in Mexico just south of us and become a tropical storm.  Rain will start Saturday evening and expect up to 3 inches of rain along the coast and inland during the day Sunday.  It’s all supposed to peter out by Monday evening.  “San Diego” and “hurricane” in the same sentence has not been a thing in decades.  

[Rey Dominguez Jr]

A shipmate of mine who lost his wife on June 20, one week before my wife Veronica passed, asked me what it is that I have the most difficulty with right now.  I told him my biggest ache is coming home to an empty house, like I described in my initial post.  The other is gathering with people, friends and/or family.  I just cannot be there for more than an hour, maybe two, because it does not feel natural, not right, to be there without my Veronica.  We were pretty much inseparable over the last 20 years or so because of her health issues.  I am trying not to be paralyzed by my grief, but it will take some time to get past this feeling of guilt for trying to move forward in life without my bride.

[RichS]

Rey:  I’m struggling with the same guilt as you. The other night my son along with some friends went to a baseball game. I can’t say I didn’t think about her, but I did have a nice time. Little steps like these help.

[KayC]

3 hours ago, Rey Dominguez Jr said:

it will take some time to get past this feeling of guilt for trying to move forward in life without my bride.

It may be too soon in your grief but...
Smile Permission

[Sar123]

8 hours ago, Gator M said:

However, I find when people are talking about family, vacations, events...it can be crushing.

The empty house is the worst.

This really hit home for me. While I’m happy for people when they tell me about their upcoming vacations or what event they’re going to, I also envy them because that used to be us. I took so much for granted until it was gone. 

My husband’s best friend and his wife invited me to go with them to a flea market this morning and I did. It was good to get out of the house for a bit and I always enjoy their company. They were discussing their plans for the evening and I knew I had none. Even though my dog helps with loneliness and not having an empty house, I knew I had no one to show what I got at the flea market (my dog doesn’t care unless I get him a bone or a toy, lol). I went to a movie with a friend  a while ago, and it was weird to go home and not have my husband asking how the movie was and if I liked it. It’s hard for people to understand what we’re going through if they haven’t experienced a loss like ours. I explained to a friend that it’s the little things that can get to me sometimes. There are days when I still can’t believe he’s gone, but he is. 
 

As I’ve been writing this, my son just sent a picture of my grandson. He has blue eyes just like his grandpa and that makes me smile:)

[Rey Dominguez Jr]

It occurs to me that I have not had pancakes since about mid May.  Once a month, every month, on the weekend, I would make pancakes for my wife and I.  Enough to have them for breakfast the next day also.  As I thought about it, I have lost my taste for pancakes, whether I make them or someone else prepares them.  Just not the same without Veronica to enjoy them with me, you know?  As I thought about it, there are other places and foods I am not interested in anymore because it was something we did together.  Now, that enjoyment is gone.  😪  Mebbe it will return in time, but for now, as the song says “the thrill is gone.”

[widower2]

I haven't had pancakes for at least 15 yrs, probably more, but it wasn't something we were into really.

Foods we were into, curiously I'm the opposite: I want those foods precisely because we were into them. I guess it's some really small way of trying to cling to anything I can that related to her.  

[shawnt]

My wife made fantastic pancakes, used a drop of vanilla. When I do them they look better than hers but don't taste just right.

I have been reading some very intense, thick, complicated and brain taxing stuff about quantum physics and the nature of the universe and realized the only person I could talk to about this is gone, she had a way of helping me untangle things in my mind, she knew me so well that without me telling her she would know what was tripping me up and had a way of seeing things in a clearer way. I miss talking to her she made the world make sense to me and I can not ground myself without her and it is a.lonely world now.

for now I am with Gator and wouldn't mind leaving. I hope I see clearer tomorrow.

[KayC]

14 hours ago, Sar123 said:

This really hit home for me. While I’m happy for people when they tell me about their upcoming vacations or what event they’re going to, I also envy them because that used to be us. I took so much for granted until it was gone. 

My husband’s best friend and his wife invited me to go with them to a flea market this morning and I did. It was good to get out of the house for a bit and I always enjoy their company. They were discussing their plans for the evening and I knew I had none. Even though my dog helps with loneliness and not having an empty house, I knew I had no one to show what I got at the flea market (my dog doesn’t care unless I get him a bone or a toy, lol). I went to a movie with a friend  a while ago, and it was weird to go home and not have my husband asking how the movie was and if I liked it. It’s hard for people to understand what we’re going through if they haven’t experienced a loss like ours. I explained to a friend that it’s the little things that can get to me sometimes. There are days when I still can’t believe he’s gone, but he is. 
 

As I’ve been writing this, my son just sent a picture of my grandson. He has blue eyes just like his grandpa and that makes me smile:)

This is spot on, whether you are new to grief, or out 18 years like me.  My dog is great company and I suppose his amazing perception of language is because I DO talk to him, there is no one else here to talk to.  I am stunned by how much he understands sometimes.  But you are right, people can't begin to get this.  My friend's husband has dementia, her old husband is gone and now there is a person that looks and sounds like him but is angry and doesn't make sense...I get what she's going through too as I went through it with many famiily members, the closest being my mom and my sister.  Another journey people can't get unless they've been there.

[RichS]

My dad had Alzheimer’s and dementia for a number of years. Even though he and I didn’t have the closest relationship, I saw the different person he became as it slowly took over his mind.

[widower2]

I felt this didn't belong in the "positive" thread and as the OP stated, this is a thread for things that don't belong anywhere else, so excuse the trivial silliness, but...

ARGGHHH THAT STUPID GROUNDHOG. For those that don't know, I've been dueling with this thing who's made his home in my back yard for months now. He's chewed on my deck, dug holes under my fence, and after I though we had an uneasy truce, he's decided to chew on my deck again. I have tried rodent repellant and even set (very tiny) fires near the entrances and exits where he's made his home under a big bed of English ivy near my back porch. Should I call Bill Murray??

[KayC]

Arlie chewed everything and Imean EVERYTHING the first year I had him, (2/09-2/10) so I bought some spray at PetSmart for $18, not sure it'd work but it'd be worth a try. I already tossed the can but it seems it was called Yuck or something equally appealing.  Might be worth a look!

[RichS]

I read if you spray vinegar or ammonia near their hole, it may repel them. Then again, you hope neither one of them does any damage to your ivy bush. No Joe Burroughs jokes today. This is getting serious.

[widower2]

Thanks all. Yeah if I still had my Jack Russell, this would so not be an issue. Repellents don't seem to be working. Frankly if I can catch him out and about in the yard and scare him away from the ivy, I'll just whack it back so his hiding spot is gone. It grows pretty fast, so the lack of eye appeal wouldn't last. 

I really don't feel like buying a trap, but I may have to...

[shawnt]

They are very wiley and hard to get in a live trap. Have you tried putting your garden hose down the hole, if you do that daily for a week it may make him decide that den is no longer suitable for his home. This time of year there should not be any young so you won't drown any babies. Worth a try.

[KayC]

Except he'll just dig another one.

[RichS]

16 minutes ago, KayC said:

Except he'll just dig another one.

I sense you're speaking from experience. I guess they don't call Oregon the "Beaver State" for nothing. Still trying to figure out what a "Tar Heel" is after 28 years.

[widower2]

Well, I don't know if he has a "hole" or not...he ducks under this bed of English Ivy I have. But yeah the hose is worth a shot, why didn't I think of it! I'll just stuff it in the opening where he goes and let it run for a bit, see what happens. Though knowing this stubborn SOB, he'll just move back in after I turn it off. 

[RichS]

Hopefully your water bill won’t spike too much next month. Then again, if you finally get rid of him, it’ll be worth it.

[widower2]

Well I won't leave it on THAT long   But I agree!

[KayC]

10 hours ago, RichS said:

I sense you're speaking from experience. I guess they don't call Oregon the "Beaver State" for nothing. Still trying to figure out what a "Tar Heel" is after 28 years.

We do have beavers in our creek which is more like a river but smaller...now they say the "damage" they do helps, not hurts and are learning to leave them alone, mother nature knows what he's doing.  But that's a beaver...not a ground hog.  Here we have moles and if anyone knows how to get rid of them...ha!  They just go and dig more holes if you plug one up.