Do antidepressants help?

[Alisond]

On 4/13/2023 at 12:03 AM, Ck13 said:

Thank you, I feel like everyone else around me has moved on and is coping fine and carrying on with life, so I feel like I’m the odd one who is still stuck in this terrible nightmare and should be doing better.  I do think I’m still in shock which is why I’m struggling. It keeps hitting me out of nowhere and literally takes my breath away with the pain.

I feel that way still (pain taking breath away) almost 2 years since my husband's unexpected death.

About a month ago I  decided that I had to try something. Didn't expect to feel great. I was just hoping for a little relief. I had tried about 25 years ago a serotonin uptake drug. Very bad. So you can understand how desperate I was to even look in that direction. 

I  spoke with my GP about my insomnia, my not being able to do anything other than basics and pushing hard to even get that done.

Anyway been on Wellbutrin. Low dosage. Does not stop the grief or even the crying, but it gives me that slight edge. I can get up easier in the morning, I'm sleeping at night. I  can't tell really if I feel odder on it, because I feel so odd anyway. But it has helped me with a bit more energy. Still feel zero joy. But am grateful to feel even a smidge better. 

[Bruce A]

On 11/5/2023 at 9:25 PM, Alisond said:

Anyway been on Wellbutrin. Low dosage. Does not stop the grief or even the crying, but it gives me that slight edge. I can get up easier in the morning, I'm sleeping at night. I  can't tell really if I feel odder on it, because I feel so odd anyway. But it has helped me with a bit more energy. Still feel zero joy. But am grateful to feel even a smidge better

If the Wellbutrin helps you feel even a smidge better, that is a good thing. If you are not getting any side effects you can always go up on the dosage. Personally I take 300mg a day but I have clinical depression so I am also on other medication. I have my dog Raelyn here and everything i do is because she needs me. If she wasn’t here and I was completely alone I don’t think I would still be here. I don’t know that any of us will feel ‘joy’ again. Personally I don’t foresee ever getting to a point of feeling joy. Just struggling through each day until this suffering ends.

[KayC]

I read an article similar to this one and it helped me...to impose self guilt because they died benefits no one.
Smile Permission

It may take a while to get there though, but just don't hang onto feeling negative, none of us deserve that either.  It's hard enough we lost our soul mate.

[foreverhis]

On 11/5/2023 at 7:25 PM, Alisond said:

Anyway been on Wellbutrin. Low dosage. Does not stop the grief or even the crying, but it gives me that slight edge. I can get up easier in the morning, I'm sleeping at night. I  can't tell really if I feel odder on it, because I feel so odd anyway. But it has helped me with a bit more energy. Still feel zero joy. But am grateful to feel even a smidge better.

That's what I take as well.  Low dose (150 mg) 24 hour time release in the morning.  If I take it later, it seems to make my insomnia worse, but that's about the only side effect I've found.

It helps like you say to kind of level things, making it easier for me to think and function.  I was already on a sub-clinical dose because it helped with some of my auto-immune symptoms, so my doctor felt comfortable increasing my dose.  He said it's one he considers good for situational depression, where medications for clinical depression are either inappropriate or don't usually work.  Plus, he's not a huge fan of SSRIs and tries to avoid prescribing them unless nothing else is helpful.  He feels the NDRIs are often better overall.

[KayC]

In 2008 my doctor prescribed Valium for my anxiety, I didn't want that, it's very addictive (Remember Valley of the Dolls?), two days on it and I couldn't do my job or drive, I took myself off of it and looked up info on different meds...I didn't want something that would alter my brain, just something to take the edge off a bit so I could cope.  I found Buspar (Buspirone) and take the lowest dose.  I've had no side effects and it's helped me, I imagine I'll be on it for life as I was diagnosed GAD (General Anxiety Disorder) and I had it even as a child.  I printed out the info and took it to my doctor, who got sarcastic with me (I told him it's my body, I have a vested interest in it!) but prescribed it.  I did better than he had!  

My friend was having problems with her anxiety meds so I told her about it, and she talked with her doctor and within a week it was working, also no side effects and much safer than what she'd been on for ages.  

[DotPark]

In the 90s I took an SSRI for about a year to get through grief and depression for a divorce I didn't want. The good it did me was immeasurable. It didn't make everything right, because everything was still terrible. But, in combination with talk therapy, it helped part the dark clouds overhead so I could see a bit of the sun again. And that was enough for me to start healing. Maybe that's enough for some here.

A therapist told me then that I had a "great capacity for happiness." Okay maybe that was BS but I have clung to that BS for decades, the way you remember someone telling you that blue is your color or you should always wear your hair up. It's still helping me. When I feel I'm sinking in the bottomless well of grief, I remember it and it gives me some buoyancy.

[KennyW]

In my experience no. I am on 30mg of Lexapro. Doesnt do anything but kill my sex drive. It sounds like you need something like valium or Klonipin along with a suppot group. Then remove the sedatives once you are confortable with a support group

[KayC]

Valium is highly addictive and makes you very sleepy, not good for someone with a stressful job or long commute.  I took myself off of it after two days and looked up anxiety meds and printed out the one that was safe and took it to my doctor. 

[KennyW]

19 hours ago, KayC said:

Valium is highly addictive and makes you very sleepy, not good for someone with a stressful job or long commute.  I took myself off of it after two days and looked up anxiety meds and printed out the one that was safe and took it to my doctor. 

 

19 hours ago, KayC said:

Valium is highly addictive and makes you very sleepy, not good for someone with a stressful job or long commute.  I took myself off of it after two days and looked up anxiety meds and printed out the one that was safe and took it to my doctor. 

 

19 hours ago, KayC said:

Valium is highly addictive and makes you very sleepy, not good for someone with a stressful job or long commute.  I took myself off of it after two days and looked up anxiety meds and printed out the one that was safe and took it to my doctor. 

Let me gues Busbar. Does NOTHING. Valium is addictive but a good dr will ween you off it slowly so you aren't that uncomfortable. I was on Kadian for 3 years. Been off them for 6 months now and I don't want any. Sometimes unfortunately we need meds that good to take. I broke both bones in my forearm. Was on percocet for 3 weeks. Haven't touched them in 4 years. It is all about how a dr gets you off of them. If he makes you go cold turkey you will have some serious issues. Just my thoughts from experience

[KayC]

I need it the rest of my life, could not drive with it, I guess to each their own, I couldn't function with it and had a 100 mile commute a day, I knew it'd kill me or someone else and it didn't help my disposition any either.  Buspirone I've had no side effects and it takes the edge off so I can cope, but my issue wasn't depression, it was anxiety.  I know others who have also been helped with it.  To each their own.

[KennyW]

29 minutes ago, KayC said:

I need it the rest of my life, could not drive with it, I guess to each their own, I couldn't function with it and had a 100 mile commute a day, I knew it'd kill me or someone else and it didn't help my disposition any either.  Buspirone I've had no side effects and it takes the edge off so I can cope, but my issue wasn't depression, it was anxiety.  I know others who have also been helped with it.  To each their own.

I took mine after i got to work and only enough to help. Then I ool one when i got home. You are right, everyone is effected differently by meds. When I was on Klonopin and I too my dose i was ready to paint my house. But NEVER drove afrer taking it

[KayC]

35 minutes ago, KennyW said:

I took mine after i got to work and only enough to help. Then I ool one when i got home.

Great idea!  I hadn't thought of that!  But it still would have been difficult to do my job and I didn't want something addictive, but like I said, mine was for anxiety, not depression.

[Griefsucks810]

On 4/19/2023 at 7:41 AM, KayC said:

Those feelings/thoughts are common in early grief...all the more important to give ourselves the time needed to find something good about living.  

I'm glad you gave yourself that time.  Thank heavens for our dogs!

Thank goodness I have my cat to love and cherish each and every day. She stayed by my side nonstop and gave me her unconditional love and attention during the early times of my grief. She has also gotten me thru many dark times and dark places where my grief was too overwhelming for me to handle.

[KayC]

Absolutely!💘

[Griefsucks810]

On 4/19/2023 at 7:41 AM, KayC said:

Those feelings/thoughts are common in early grief...all the more important to give ourselves the time needed to find something good about living.  

I'm glad you gave yourself that time.  Thank heavens for our dogs!

The only reason I’m still here living is because of my cat who depends on me to care for her every day 

[widower2]

I get that...when my  beloved passed, I "inherited" her (really more "our") dog and he forced me to go on when I had no desire to. He needed me...and I needed him at least as much, as it turns out. 

Back to the meds thing, I remain frustrated. I've tried just about everything and on those rare occasions I found something that really worked (oxycontin, xanax), nobody would prescribe it to me. If they ever really legalize pot here, I may try it out of desperation. 

[SSC]

@widower2 is medical marijuana not legal where you live?

[widower2]

Oh it's legal to use it, just nowhere to buy it.   That's supposed to change this year, not sure when.

[Gail 8588]

In Florida there is a medical marijuana  store everywhere you go, often several in one block.  It is mind boggling to me that they can all be profitable. 

[KayC]

8 hours ago, widower2 said:

f they ever really legalize pot here, I may try it out of desperation. 

The nearest town here is Oakridge (I'm in the country), probably about 3,500 people (was double that when I moved here)...we have several marijuana places in this little town!  It's legal in Oregon.  I have a neighbor that grows it, he made some balm that I tried on my hand after my botched surgery.  I also tried CBD and every other ointment my neighbos made or sold...nothing helped but Voltarin and my dog wants to lick it off so I quit using it, lethal to dogs.

[rlh]

Had my follow up with my doctor today, since the needle really hasn't moved for me in terms of being able to find grief counseling or my energy levels/mood/interest in things, we are going to start me on a low dose of Zoloft to see if it helps (given that I have pre-existing anxiety and mood issues, it's very possible I should have already been on something to help level these off anyway).  She's got me breaking the pills in half for 8 days and checking in with her towards the end of that to determine if I should increase the dose. I think she's starting me on either 12.5mg or 25mg (wasn't sure whether the pills are 50mg and I'm splitting them to 25mg, or if the pill I'm splitting is 25mg...I'll see when I pick up the prescription.)

I'm a bit nervous about starting a new medication when it's just me and my teen at home (with no immediately nearby close family/friends for support), but, again, given my already existing issues, the anxiety and depressed mood on top of the grief are probably all exacerbating each other. I've let my mom know, and a family friend know that I'm starting the medication so at least they can remotely check in. And of course, I'll be letting my teen know as well. 

[Ck13]

OP here. Just thought I would update. I’m now nearly at the anniversary of his death. I never did take antidepressants. I surrounded myself with a great support system and a great bereavement counsellor. It’s still been absolutely awful no doubt about that and a few times I didn’t think I would still be here, but I am and although I’m in pain it’s manageable and I let myself feel it and grieve then get up and carry on.  One thing I’ve learnt is that you can only do you, don’t worry about what anyone else thinks, do whatever gets you through each day of this nightmare. 

[widower2]

2 hours ago, rlh said:

Had my follow up with my doctor today, since the needle really hasn't moved for me in terms of being able to find grief counseling or my energy levels/mood/interest in things, we are going to start me on a low dose of Zoloft to see if it helps (given that I have pre-existing anxiety and mood issues, it's very possible I should have already been on something to help level these off anyway).  She's got me breaking the pills in half for 8 days and checking in with her towards the end of that to determine if I should increase the dose. I think she's starting me on either 12.5mg or 25mg (wasn't sure whether the pills are 50mg and I'm splitting them to 25mg, or if the pill I'm splitting is 25mg...I'll see when I pick up the prescription.)

I'm a bit nervous about starting a new medication when it's just me and my teen at home (with no immediately nearby close family/friends for support), but, again, given my already existing issues, the anxiety and depressed mood on top of the grief are probably all exacerbating each other. I've let my mom know, and a family friend know that I'm starting the medication so at least they can remotely check in. And of course, I'll be letting my teen know as well. 

Understandable on the meds, but seems to me worth a try...if you don't notice it helping, you can always stop. As for your general mood and energy level etc, you're still early in this path, so I don't think any med will just take that away; it's something you need to work through, unfortunately. But meds, sometimes, can help. 

[rlh]

18 minutes ago, widower2 said:

Understandable on the meds, but seems to me worth a try...if you don't notice it helping, you can always stop. As for your general mood and energy level etc, you're still early in this path, so I don't think any med will just take that away; it's something you need to work through, unfortunately. But meds, sometimes, can help. 

I agree. I think the overall thinking on this one is that the meds are intended to help stabilize the baseline I was already having issues with before my husband's death (over 15 years ago, I spoke with a different doctor about anxiety and it was brushed off; 2-3 years ago I spoke with my current doctor about mood issues and anxiety as well). Given that my baseline with anxiety and depression are already higher than the average, she feels the grief on top of it is all definitely making it harder (her post visit notes also seem skeptical that I'll be ready to return to work in a month since the past few weeks have been so hard).

[KayC]

So is she going to do anything about the anxiety?   Or hoping antidepressants help?

[rlh]

5 hours ago, KayC said:

So is she going to do anything about the anxiety?   Or hoping antidepressants help?

The medication is also an anti-anxiety. My PCP can't really do anything directly about the anxiety or depression aside from meds, since both would be therapy referrals, which their location has no space for new patients right now.  When I originally brought my anxiety up to her 2 years ago, she was able to refer me to their behavioral health, but it was the same situation then, that they really only took on new patients with emergency level symptoms. I gave up last time since I was managing okay and hunting for therapy was more stress than it was worth. My husband was always a fairly grounding force for me, so I was able to keep afloat. But without him, floating is hard.

As of today I may have finally found a therapist that is taking new clients and doing in person (I feel that for me in person visits will be more beneficial than telehealth). Just waiting to confirm a few final details and when they can start seeing me. It only took 3 damn weeks of energy to finally find someone that wasn't an immediate no (and I'm still waiting to confirm the same for my kid, since finding available counselors that take teens is an even bigger challenge).

[Marq]

I think anti-anxiety, antidepressant and mood stabilizers can be extremely helpful.   Foir various reasons I started them before Dorothy passed.  If i was not on them now, I would be face down drunk if not dead.  They are not magic.  life sucks I am so angry at the universe.  But I am able to function to love my daughters, my parents, my dumb dog and cats.

 

medication like valium and klonopin are generally meant to be used short term.  they are not meant to be used every day, for long periods of time.  That said, everyone is different, and every doctor (if they re doing their job) are trying to help you to find the medication(s) that are most useful for you with the least side effects.

[widower2]

20 minutes ago, Marq said:

medication like valium and klonopin are generally meant to be used short term.  

I suspect things like valium are hard to get even a short-term subscription to now...I think it's great to be aware of such drugs and prescribe with caution, but it seems to me that thanks to society crying Chicken Little about such things, even people with a legit need can't get them, since generally speaking, IMO doctors are far (far) more concerned about not getting sued than they are about the welfare of their patients. 

[Griefsucks810]

On 2/9/2024 at 12:03 AM, widower2 said:

I suspect things like valium are hard to get even a short-term subscription to now...I think it's great to be aware of such drugs and prescribe with caution, but it seems to me that thanks to society crying Chicken Little about such things, even people with a legit need can't get them, since generally speaking, IMO doctors are far (far) more concerned about not getting sued than they are about the welfare of their patients. 

Last month I asked my psychiatrist to prescribe me a narcotic sleep medication and she said it’s out of the question. I told her that I’m having a bad time falling asleep and need something stronger- she increased my sleep aid dosage 2 pills at bedtime. And she is having me get blood work done at my drs office in order to continue prescribing meds to me.  I don’t see her again till April and I’m not seeing my dr until March 12th so I guess I gotta ride it out till then.  I’ll ask my dr if he can prescribe me a stronger sleep medication that is if he’ll do it.  These drs are worried about people becoming addicted to narcotic sleep meds and being sued over it instead of prescribing the narcotic sleep meds for people who are truly struggling to get a good night sleep. 

[Griefsucks810]

On 2/8/2024 at 11:41 PM, Marq said:

I think anti-anxiety, antidepressant and mood stabilizers can be extremely helpful.   Foir various reasons I started them before Dorothy passed.  If i was not on them now, I would be face down drunk if not dead.  They are not magic.  life sucks I am so angry at the universe.  But I am able to function to love my daughters, my parents, my dumb dog and cats.

 

medication like valium and klonopin are generally meant to be used short term.  they are not meant to be used every day, for long periods of time.  That said, everyone is different, and every doctor (if they re doing their job) are trying to help you to find the medication(s) that are most useful for you with the least side effects.

These drs just don’t wanna prescribe narcotic meds to anyone. They don’t care if you’re in dire need cuz they are so fearful of being sued and prescribe low grade sleep meds that don’t work. They use the excuse of low grade meds having the least side effects cuz they don’t wanna risk someone becoming addicted to narcotic sleep meds. 

[KayC]

2 hours ago, shawnt said:

 

depressed ? Of course. But not of the clinical variety, according to the head shrinker  I have an emotional based depression, not a physical caused depression( no chemical imbalances) in other words all in my head ( or heart)