Do antidepressants help?

[KayC]

I can't speak for antidepressants except I have read a lot and they vary greatly.  Personally I wouldn't want an SSRI unless I was clinically depressed where I physically needed the alteration to my brain, but as I don't, would not want to be on one.  It differs from grief depression in that grief doesn't physically warrant such type, yet we do know it alters the brain so it makes me wonder if left untreated it can to the extent of clinically depressive patients.  These would all be points to discuss with a doctor.  Yet I have such suspicion of doctors after what I've learned about diabetes and their overall lack of knowledge and education in it, that it makes me wonder if they're not pill pushing.  But I am on anti-anxiety meds and know I've been GAD all my life and it warranted taking something mild years before I started!  It just takes the edge off and makes it more bearable (Buspirone/Buspar), much safer than some of the others.  And I would not want something that made me a zombie!

[Mama_Bear_11]

This is my take: Everybody is unique, and every grief is unique. Yet, grief is cascading symptoms, so helping one symptom may help others "downstream", even if it can't take away the root problem (our person being gone).

Example: I have problems sleeping, dream/nightmares about my person.

> Leads to exhaustion  > Leads to increased caffeine > Leads to worse anxiety > Less motivation to get out > Less vitamin D/sunlight > Poor food choices > Headaches/body aches… > Another bad night's sleep

So, just in my example, a better sleep might help some of those symptoms, and lead to better outcomes due to other factors (exercise, sunlight). It doesn't solve all my problems, but it makes dealing with them easier (?) or at least more manageable.

In that way, I would advocate for trying an antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication, or even a holistic thing like yoga or exercise (or pot, if legal) - whatever you are comfortable trying. It won't solve anything, but maybe it will make the day to day more manageable or bareable. And just that little bit can make a difference.

Offered with love.

[KayC]

After years of struggling with no sleep (and 100 mile round trip commute and a stressful job) I finally accepted my doctor's offer for a sleep aid, to which a friend said it's not good for me (at a higher dose, not at my dose I might add) to which I replied, "Neither is no sleep."  If it takes a couple of days off my life, so be it, the way I was going was shortening my life!

[Bruce A]

1 hour ago, KayC said:

After years of struggling with no sleep (and 100 mile round trip commute and a stressful job) I finally accepted my doctor's offer for a sleep aid, to which a friend said it's not good for me (at a higher dose, not at my dose I might add) to which I replied, "Neither is no sleep."  If it takes a couple of days off my life, so be it, the way I was going was shortening my life!

There are certain drugs like Ambien that I myself take sometimes. It is not an antidepressant, just helps you sleep. Your friend probably was concerned that you would become dependent on a drug and then it is hard to stop taking it. You start convincing yourself every night that you need that drug to sleep and that is not good.

[DWS]

2 hours ago, Mama_Bear_11 said:

(or pot, if legal) - whatever you are comfortable trying. It won't solve anything, but maybe it will make the day to day more manageable or bareable. And just that little bit can make a difference.

I've only tried pot a few times in my life but it certainly is a curiousity at what powers lie there. I'm all for anything that helps mellow out this loud, brutal world so watching it become legal in more places is likely a good thing . I have wondered if small doses of it would be helpful to calm the busy minds of us grievers. I was fascinated last year when I did some print work for a customer who supplies hemp-formulated "calm drops" here in Ontario. These are THC-free (so no high) that you place under your tongue or into a cup of coffee or tea. The research on marijuana and depression seems to be only at its beginning but it's very interesting stuff. I'm also curious about something simple as burning incense for calming.  Long live the hippies! 

[Mama_Bear_11]

I cannot speak for pot for me, but a family member has needed it quite a bit after my husband died. It let the person relax and zone out for a while, which they desperately needed. I noticed a huge improvement for them after, at least short term.

Again, if it lets you cope for a while, that might be worth it.

[KayC]

4 hours ago, Bruce A said:

You start convincing yourself every night that you need that drug to sleep and that is not good.

No, NOT taking anything and can't turn your brain off and watching the clock go around, and dragging sleepily the next day is not good.

1 hour ago, Gator M said:

And if THC is not legal try Delta 8 CBD. It did wonders for Ann.

My sister and her husband swear by CBD, and I used it for Arlie (he had anxiety and cancer) when he was dying, but when I bought some for me...nothing.

[KayC]

I'm good, I'm used to the hand pain by now.  It's been 3-4 years.

[widower2]

19 hours ago, Bruce A said:

Well now I have to respectfully disagree. I think having severe clinical depression for my whole life and being on pretty much every antidepressant available at some point qualifies me as someone who knows what they’re talking about. If their was an antidepressant to take away the pain I’m feeling believe me I would be taking it.

There are some medications that will block off all of your feelings and make you into a zombie. But I don’t think anyone really wants that.

I'm sorry to hear that and that you didn't find something that worked, but I've been battling the same condition my entire life as well and frankly it doesn't qualify either of us as medical experts. But saying that anti-depressants have helped people is a well-known fact, not opinion. Just because they didn't work for you doesn't mean they don't work for others. It all varies...some they don't help, some they help a lot, some maybe just a little, etc. And regardless, saying they help doesn't mean they take away all the pain and suddenly all is well like some magic potion. If that's what you mean, yes of course you're right. But if something helps even a little, I think it's worth the effort. 

[widower2]

6 hours ago, Gator M said:

I think it might be both...like grief...it's different for many people.

Medicine is more of an art...That's my problem with Medicine as a business...they now focus on the masses not the individual patients.

I think they are getting better at that though, with what I think they call "targeted" treatments, like for cancer etc. They take into account a person's unique physiology more vs oh you have this so take this, the standard treatment thing.  

[KayC]

10 hours ago, widower2 said:

They take into account a person's unique physiology more vs oh you have this so take this, the standard treatment thing.  

One can only hope so...not what I've seen here, maybe it's different where you live, but they vary so one is ultimately responsible for their own health, research, harping, etc. with your doctors.

[widower2]

I think one is ultimately responsible for their own health always Kay  I mean doctors etc are getting more into taking a person's unique physiology into account with treatments. 

[KayC]

Yeah but what SHOULD be and what ARE are sometimes two different things.  That puts the onus back on us.  My dad and my husband died doing what their doctors said.

[widower2]

3 hours ago, Gator M said:

This may be true BUT their first responsibility is to the patient before the company.  Morally, they also should be as straightforward and open as possible.   I would also contend the PCs and the specialist should communicate...it should not be the patient's responsibility.  This is how things get missed and confused....and it can be DEADLY.

? Of course but I'm not saying anything regarding what their responsibility is or isn't, just regarding the method of treatment. It's known mostly regarding cancer treatment (a recap here: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/22733-targeted-therapy), but the idea is becoming broader for other medical treatments.

[Shinka]

I heard an interview with a surgeon yesterday, in which he said that in the USA an estimated number of 400 doctors commit suicide (yearly), he himself had 8 colleagues that ended their live. Seems the patients aren't the only victims of the medical system. Sad. 

 

[KayC]

Well today I went to an ENT 60 miles away, about an issue I've had 2 1/2 years in my throat and tongue...I've been at my wits end, doctors not looking in throat/tongue area during Covid, I have not had the best of care or luck, very painful.  My tongue still has inflamed gums (as I learned from my dentist) and I'll be curious to find out if my platelets are still as high as they were a year ago, I get tested in about three weeks.  I've been to so many doctors, gastroenterologist, allergy specialist, compared notes with a diabetic friend on inhalers (discontinued mine and discovered I don't have asthma, for which I was on them for 16 years), contacted the USDA about nasal inhaler, you name it, I've researched it...lately the throat hasn't hurt as much and the inflammation is lessening...which the ENT affirmed.  Great news is he found nothing wrong with my throat, but saw remnants of having had issues, said he could do a steroidal wash but that raises BS, so he is holding off, we'll watch and see what happens with this.  Overall no answers but a good report nonetheless, and I really like him and his assistant.

Okay, everything you never wanted to know about tongue/throat (me too)!  Good to be back home with Kodie (he went with me) and see the group is able to be back in again!  I did see a message from Kelly to that effect while I was driving but couldn't respond.  If I was more savvy I suppose I could have talked to my phone, but alas, this 70 year old lady is just figuring it out!

It's good to see you all.

[Shinka]

All in all good news, though it is quite mind boggling as to what causes it. As a nurse I can't help but doing some mental detective work, but it seems you covered most of the possibilities. I wonder, do you have intestinal problems which cause reflux? I remember people telling me the acidic damp goes up their throat and even causes nasal drip and inflamed esophagus and throat. But I guess your gastro enterologist looked at that. 

[KayC]

Nope, my health has never been better barring these blasted injuries!  And not one of my falls has been due to balance, usually a hump in the road, or something to that effect.  Every one of them unique.  Nothing wrong with my system.  Wondering if it couldn't have been fungal all along, but then why did it not respond to the first doctor's treatment for "thrush" 2 1/2 years ago, but I do remember that was botched...I went to her on Monday, she called in a Rx to Walgreens, which I got on my way home...mind you, she is 60 miles from my house.  When the Rx was finished, I called in a refill to Walgreens as the symptoms had not yet abated, and they said, "Do you want the other Rx that is here?"  She had called in something else two days later, yet neither her office nor Walgreens had ever let ME know!  I had a tuffle with Walgreens as they wouldn't take my credit card over the phone and I had a friend in town to pick the Rxs up, I remember it cost me over $100 and I had to pay her back next morning.  That a company can be this backwards amazes me, did they think I should drive 120 miles to accommodate them?!  I was finished with that doctor and with Walgreens.  Covid and no one would look in my throat.  LONG waits for specialists, all one at a time, months apart.  None of this should have happened this way, yet this is how it transpired.  Medical care is lacking sorely imo, esp. during Covid.  It seems that's all they care about, not realizing everything isn't about them catching Covid from their patients, esp. with no Covid symptoms and testings.  So I am wondering with them botching the Rxs the way they did, perhaps it didn't take care of it, although it definitely was not thrush, which goes away on it's own if left untreated...but I'm thinking maybe something fungal or candida proliferated, who knows.  Or allergy that was not on the allergy doctor's scratch test?  Still in the dark.

[DMB]

Gald you like this Dr., Kay.

I don't think my anti-depressant is working anymore and maybe it's time to switch to something else, or nothing at all.  I have spoken about this here before, I never had any mental health issues. When my husband passed, I thought I was doing fairly well.  Around 9 months in, I started having ringing in my ears, headaches, and was sensitive to loud noise.  Generally anxious.  I called the GP and started on 10mg of an SSRI. (generic of Prozac).  In a few days the physical symptoms were less if not completely gone.

Now, coming up on 3 years this month I don't feel quite right.  Physically I am mostly OK, but the boulder is getting a little heavier I think, and as I keep going, it's wearing me down a little.  That's what I think anyway. A more anxious feeling rather than depressed?  I don't know for sure.  I'm thinking about not taking the anti-depressant and maybe ask for buspirone instead.  I also think I'm having allergies which I never had before.  I've been taking Claratin too.  It's possible it's a seasonal thing going on as well.  I really don't know how to tell the difference.  You wish you could just swallow a pill and be fine, however, we all know this takes work.  I'm tired alot. 

[KayC]

I am wondering the same thing, sometimes it needs swapped up, maybe your body has gotten used to it, and it's no longer as effective, who knows, but it's definitely worth looking into and talking to your doctor about!  And anxiety and depression are two distinct things, perhaps it's more anxiety now than depression?  I used to take ClaratinD and then they outlawed it in my state as meth users made meth from it, so now I take Loratodine in the morning and Benedryl at night, still not sure what I'm allergic to as it all came out negative, but something for sure, suspect pollens/grasses, but this plagues me year around so who knows what combination of things.  I also discovered mustard helps me breathe so bought some from India, that helps.  

[DMB]

Interesting.  I love mustard!  I will incorporate some.  Thanks!  

[KayC]

This is organic virgin mustard seed oil brassica nigra  cold pressed unrefined, for breathing in but in there country they can cook with it. 
I also use dry mustard powder inside each nostril, a very tiny amount, have had no issues, use at your own risk.

[widower2]

I recently switched to Lexipro from Elavil....I think it's a little better but nothing amazing. What I'd give for a bucket full of oxys. 

[DMB]

Well, after a miserable day yesterday, I am more confident I am not depressed but having sinus issues.  Isn't it funny as I get older everything takes me longer to figure out. I had my daughter's dog over the weekend.  All she wanted was to be outside so that's what we did.  In the rain.  It wasn't pouring but was showering most of the day.  My boots and feet were soaked. Another weird symptom I get is my teeth hurt.  Top right side this time.  I remember once I went to a dentist with this pain and nothing was wrong, as it was my sinuses.  I am trying some Allerga since I'm out of Claratin along with a decongestant. I was told it's OK to take both but do the decongestant short term. Today I have to go get tissues.  Ran out. I also broke out the garlic.  I smash some cloves in a pan with a little water and inhale the steam for a few minutes a few times a day.

Lastly, my brother in-law's father passed away.  He was 100. He was a wonderful man, father, everything!  You don't meet many people like this anymore.  His funeral is Friday.  I am going with my brother, and I just want to feel better.  Thanks for listening.  Sorry for going off topic here. 

[KayC]

I am so sorry, DMB, for you and his loss...I am glad you will be there for your brother.  So hard.

[movingon]

19 hours ago, widower2 said:

I recently switched to Lexipro from Elavil....I think it's a little better but nothing amazing. What I'd give for a bucket full of oxys. 

What I would give for a bucketful of empathy! 

[KayC]

On 5/2/2023 at 5:38 PM, widower2 said:

What I'd give for a bucket full of oxys. 

It seems they're too sparing with that in recent years!

[widower2]

Amen on both counts. I'm all for caution but in typical stupid human being fashion, we take an idea and swing too far in the other direction. I think you'd have to be almost dying to get those now. Thanks for nothing mass media.

[foreverhis]

On 5/4/2023 at 5:04 AM, KayC said:

It seems they're too sparing with that in recent years!

As a chronic pain patient (auto-immune disorders and degenerative arthritis), I completely agree.

I was really leery of taking anything except ibuprofen and acetaminophen.  My doctor is a rare breed these days:  He gives a darn about his patients well being.  He is also not a "pill pusher."  When he prescribes something, it's because he feels it's necessary and he usually combines that with other therapies such as PT, yoga, targeted exercise, and even meditation.  He explained to me at length why he was prescribing a low dose pain medication for me to have when I need it over the long term. 

When people who are in pain take it, the medication usually does its job in reducing pain (not eliminating it, usually).  Some people's body and brain chemistry "feel" that as a high and those people are more likely to become addicted, but that's a very small percentage of patients in severe pain.  As well, he explained that some people have addictive "personalities" and others do not.  As I had had pain medication many years in the past post-surgery and weaned off as fast as I reasonably could, he wasn't concerned about my brain chemistry.  And he knew me well enough by then to know that I do not have an addictive personality.

In fact, I've only ever asked if there are new pain therapies coming up that would allow me to take less, not more.  Over a decade, I've never asked for an increase in dosage/number and have learned to take it when I need it to stop a pain cycle before it becomes fully debilitating.  It helps me function at a semi-decent level, so I take it.  The three or four times I've forgotten that I've already taken a dose and then taken a second soon after, I have felt horrible (dizzy, slightly nauseated, and just "icky").  For me, taking it "for a high" is simply inconceivable.

Most chronic pain patients take it for pain relief, not for fun.  And we are the ones who suffer for those who abuse it.  I will say that my doctor is one who prescribes opioids for patients if he believes it's right for them and will fight for us to get what we need.  I'm sure he's just as quick to cut off (well, wean off) any patient who is showing an addiction.  It's the difference:  Dependence versus addiction; pain patients' bodies depend on help to get relief.

Okay, off my soapbox.

 

[Sparky1]

I'm also prescribed the opioids ( Tylenol 2 and generic pe#cs) pills for my many aches and pains. Mostly my chronic sciatica and herniated discs. I have to sign a waiver every time I get them and get a funny look from the pharmacist once in a while. I rarely take them, usually only when the pain becomes unbearable, but I definitely do not enjoy them. The short euphoria that one gets is all nice and fine but the next day, the headaches, nausea and feeling like sh#t make me regret taking them and I'll go a long time before I take them again. Why can't they make them without all those funny side effects? Better to endure the pain then feel awful the next day.

[KayC]

I found no Ibuprofen or Tylenol touched my hand pain, after six months of both I discontinued.  I live with the pain.

[Plumsy]

My husband died suddenly about 3 weeks ago.my doctor prescribed sleeping pills, and an antidepressant in case I needed it. For a week I only used the sleeping pills so at least I could fall asleep and be rested. One day though the pain if loss was so bad that I took an antidepressant. It helped me feel normal, even productive, even good. I thought  hey, I could get used to this. When that first dose started to wear off i thought  well, I'll take the second one today. But then I suddenly felt very  very dark, suicidal. It was a flash of darkness I never want to feel again, and i am certain it came from the drug. The debilitating pain of loss was something I would have to deal with. I called my sister and cried on the phone with her for 2 hours until I could go to bed. My decision was to not take antidepressants but to reach out to family when the pain was too much. It just hurts all the time. It's supposed to unfortunately.  Not everyone has the support I have, but feeling the pain and reaching out has been my answer. The sleeping pills though, I need them. I need to shut off at night and have a good sleep.

[KayC]

@Plumsy I am so sorry for your loss.  I see you've posted in several threads already, that is good. It's good to get it out and this is a safe place, like a family from all over the world, here to listen and care and learn from each other.  

I am glad you have support.  After trying for years w/o sleeping pills, I finally gave in and am so glad I did.  It's not good to go for years w/o sleep!

 

[I miss you so much]

On 5/7/2023 at 1:38 PM, Plumsy said:

My husband died suddenly about 3 weeks ago.my doctor prescribed sleeping pills, and an antidepressant in case I needed it. For a week I only used the sleeping pills so at least I could fall asleep and be rested. One day though the pain if loss was so bad that I took an antidepressant. It helped me feel normal, even productive, even good. I thought  hey, I could get used to this. When that first dose started to wear off i thought  well, I'll take the second one today. But then I suddenly felt very  very dark, suicidal. It was a flash of darkness I never want to feel again, and i am certain it came from the drug. The debilitating pain of loss was something I would have to deal with. I called my sister and cried on the phone with her for 2 hours until I could go to bed. My decision was to not take antidepressants but to reach out to family when the pain was too much. It just hurts all the time. It's supposed to unfortunately.  Not everyone has the support I have, but feeling the pain and reaching out has been my answer. The sleeping pills though, I need them. I need to shut off at night and have a good sleep.

Bravo!

[I miss you so much]

Well, coming back to this post, I realize that many people here talk about drugs prescribed by the doctors. But, why not searching for natural products?  As Gator said, there is THC, or CBD...but well, I'm not thinking about this, but herbs, herbal teas or other similar. For instance : 

"withania somnifera"  https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3252722/

"lemon balm" https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4245564/

"valerian root" https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7585905/

Maybe checking before with a naturopath practitioner or doing a research in internet or asking your doctor if there are any contraindications for you.

[Shinka]

I agree, and there's also of course all this new information about the gut microbiome having g a huge impact on the brain and certain mental conditions such as depression. Dietary changes or breathing exercises to influence the vagusnerv can make quite a difference. But one must do the work and that might be difficult in the early stages of grief when trying to get through the day is already a major task. But maybe for later one could take the above into consideration. 

[KayC]

I agree, yet I also realize drugs affect us all differently, what works for some doesn't for others.  I also take a sleeping pill at night (low dose) after YEARS of trying to wing it on my own, melatonin and scents didn't work for me, neither did a set schedule, prayer/meditation, I wouldn't have a hard time getting to sleep, it was staying asleep.  After years of commuting to a high stress job (50 miles from my home) on 3-4 hours sleep, I reached out to my doctor for help...unapologetically.  I imagine some feel the same way about antidepressants.  Yes it helps to give our bodies a chance to adjust to grief and do the grief work...some have a chemical imbalance and those are largely who it's for.

I do take a very safe mild antianxiety med, I was diagnosed GAD years ago and should have been on them since a child, but didn't get until 2008, 3 1/2 years after my husband died.  I will likely be on them for life...not an SSRI, doesn't alter the brain, but it does take the edge off, making it easier for me to cope.  Does it take away all of my anxiety?  No.  But it takes the edge off and that's what I need.  It beats waking up in the night to think about all the possible things that could go wrong.  Buspar (Buspirone) 15 mg 2xday.  My friend was very depressed with her antianxiety med and suicidal, I told her about this, she talked to her doctor and what a world of difference it's made getting off the other one and onto this.  It takes up to two weeks to take full effect, in her case, less than a week.

No judgment for how people handle it but if what is going on isn't working for you, please talk to your doctor about it rather than suffering in silence.

Depression vs symptomatic depression in grief

 

[KayC]

And that's why, in my diabetic group, we tell people to own their own health, including researching and deciding for one's self.

[KayC]

We provide them all the info they need, studies, youtube doctors that don't just follow 55 year old guidelines that were inaccurate then, but good ones that know what they are talking about.  Not one but MANY!  And worldwide.

[DMB]

Gator, I'm sorry.  You are having a tough time and I feel for you.  It's all still so fresh and devastating. All I can say is hang in there.  When I reflect back on that 1st year, I didn't think I'd make it, and I definitely did not want to be here, yet I wasn't in any way suicidal. I did start smoking again, because why not?  It's legal, and I am well aware of the risk. One Doc told me there is a link with women's drinking habits and breast cancer.  Again, sorry doc I will not live in a world without wine.  I just won't.  I'm also not going to get guilted into thinking I caused my cancer.  It's BS.  I believe it's a crap shoot. 

My husband smoked and drank -ALOT.  More than a normal person.  He was very high functioning. When he got the news that he was terminal, we all told him not to blame himself, as he lived the way he wanted to.  Medical people need to respect that.

My sinuses are doing much better this week.  Not sure if the Allerga or snorting the garlic steam.   I am also on a hiatus from appointments.  I am supposed to get alternating mammograms and MRIs every 6 months, but I told the one doc the MRI is a hardship with having a $3500 deductible. So, I skipped it this year, and the appointment after. I'm also on Prolia because of the medication I'm on, and it's also very expensive.  Almost $5K, so when i got the shot, bam big bill!!!  $3,000.  I don't have to think about anything until the end of July.  Then, I have to decide if taking the medication longer or quitting it.  Best I can tell from reading is my risk of a late reoccurrence is @ 12% with anything over 10  considered high risk. Not sure what I'll do, but it feels good not having been anxious about tests or appointments.

[I miss you so much]

20 hours ago, Gator M said:

Most doctors can't or won't take the time researching medications...the system has them at the mercy of Big Pharma.   Many doctors go for the "newest thing" available. 

We have all kinds of technology.  Much of it is either so expensive or never really investigated.  And often, as in Ann's/my case...the Doctors were oblivious to facts...because of tunnel vision.   

Totally agree, they have their protocols and, at least here in Europe, you're a crazy one or an "out of the system" if you doubt about their treatments.

I don't know if my partner would have survived if he has followed the treatments proposed by the hospitals for his cancer, but I know that he's dead because of the treatments he had previously followed and the last drugs prescribed.

[KayC]

I am so sorry @I miss you so much.  Unfortunately, I've heard this time and again.  And my husband died following what they told him to do (heart attack related to Diabetes).  It's one of the reasons I'm a moderator of a Diabetic Group.  The other is I followed what I was told after my Diabetes diagnosis and was getting sicker and sicker, and now I know what works and everything is reversed and I want to help people with theirs.  I will research this and learn every day the rest of my life!

[I miss you so much]

42 minutes ago, Gator M said:

The system is broken and not sustainable.   The rheumatologist who was treating Ann's osteoporosis said that she would be feeling much better by February ...it was November.   She was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma Christmas and died January 13th...She is feeling much better. 

She was dying right before our eyes.   

I'm so sorry reading this, Gator M.

Well, in fact, I feel very angry reading this and I can imagine what that means to you, your frustration, your indignation/outrage.

Less than two months before dying, my partner was prescribed a painkiller by his doctor. He listened to his doctor (and relied on her) instead of listening to me. I had given up giving advice to him  😞 because he used to get angry with me, I wonder now if it was because of his cancer (I know now that some people become difficult in advanced stages).

In the leaflet of this drug, it was clearly indicated : " NEVER give to a person with a severe liver disease". He had liver cancer!! Did his doctor consider that liver cancer wasn't "a severe liver disease"?

About a month afterwards, he was sent urgently to hospital. His liver was destroyed. In the hospital rapport, they only wrote about "advanced cancer", no mention about the drug he had been taken, even if the name of this drug was clearly indicated in the document with which  he was sent to hospital ( specifying the treatment he followed)

All his medical history has been taken by his daughter. This is another story...🙊

I would like to make a formal complaint about his doctor and this drug, but without the medical history, I don't have enough supporting evidence and it's really hard and difficult for me to get this information now as we weren't married

😞

However, just to tell you that I understand you

[KayC]

Years ago I tried to report a doctor to the medical board.  Nothing came of it.  I tried on yelp, they refused it too.  How can doctors be exempt from answering for themselves!

[DMB]

It is pretty scary that so many get diagnosed with advanced disease with minimal symptoms.  Some of this is why I think Dr.s don't dig further into a patient's concerns. 

My husband was pretty healthy and was only on a blood pressure med.  In July 2019 he had a fall at work.  He hit his head pretty good and bruised his shoulder.  A scan of his head was OK. No sign of disease just a mild concussion. Then, he just didn't get much better, so we had a CT of his chest.  It wasn't perfect but also didn't say it was disease, they see everything as an infection and put him on antibiotics.   He returned 6 weeks later with another not good Ct of his chest, and we were referred to a pulmonary doc. He was booked over a month out.  We never made that appointment.  He was getting worse and in a lot of pain, so we ended up in the ER.  The diagnosis was lung cancer, via a biopsy while in the hospital.  Started treatment in November.  In late January his scans showed improvement, so we continued with treatment and the next scan was not so good and it had spread to his brain.  He went ahead with whole head radiation and was dead 2 weeks later (May 2020).  He was admitted to the hospital after I had him at a dr. appt. His cause of death was pneumonia/respiratory failure in the lung without the tumor.  One report I read said the cancer was stable, although I will never know if the radiation he did helped at all.  It was very aggressive and fast. 7 months from diagnosis to death.  I do wish he was diagnosed faster; however, the outcome would have been the same.  We just would have had longer.  The silver lining of dying during a pandemic was that our family was together every day for those very special months that we were locked down working from home.  

[KayC]

Today is Cancer day...
Someone who had terminal cancer once said, "don't be sad for me, we all come to this world to be tourists, enjoy life, go sightseeing, do good deeds, I just so happen to be leaving earlier than others". Today is Cancer Survivor Day. Can I ask a favor?? Just a few of you will do it. If you know someone who fought a battle against cancer and passed away, or someone who is still struggling, or know a brave survivor; copy and paste.Someone who had terminal cancer once said, "don't be sad for me, we all come to this world to be tourists, enjoy life, go sightseeing, do good deeds, I just so happen to be leaving earlier than others". Today is Cancer Survivor Day. Can I ask a favor?? Just a few of you will do it. If you know someone who fought a battle against cancer and passed away, or someone who is still struggling, or know a brave survivor; copy and paste.

[widower2]

On 5/10/2023 at 12:14 PM, Gator M said:

Here, Louisiana's laws greatly protect the Medical Industry.

I think it's the same everywhere. POSs. Don't get me started....

Meanwhile I'm trying something diff which isn't really working (Lexipro). Going to talk to doc about trying something else.

[KayC]

14 hours ago, widower2 said:

Going to talk to doc about trying something else.

I read Lexipro is for anxiety, I'm on Buspirone (Buspar) for anxiety, low dose, it helps a LOT, I was diagnosed with GAD and had it even as a child, have been on this for 15 years and even able to cut my dose down, no side effects.  Will probably be on it for life.

4 hours ago, Gator M said:

I am told...heard it again this morning, that antidepressants don't work well for grief. 

I'm no doctor but the science made sense.  

My doctor offered me a script yesterday but I declined.  Although, I have signs of depression: apathy, fatigue, little desire or caring. 

I believe mine is not medical.  Mine is situational awareness...and it sux.   No drug is going to change that.  

Depression vs symtomatic depression in grief

[widower2]

5 hours ago, Gator M said:

I am told...heard it again this morning, that antidepressants don't work well for grief. 

I don't know where you heard that, but such a sweeping statement simply isn't true. It CAN work and to varying degrees, but it depends on the individual, the anti-depressant used, some work better than others, etc etc. Certainly there are no guarantees.

Quote

I believe mine is not medical.  Mine is situational awareness...and it sux.   No drug is going to change that.  

Many people grieving have been helped by such drugs. I'm not saying that means it would definitely would help you, but it might. It is of course your choice. Depression doesn't have to have a physical cause (i.e. as opposed to emotional/situational) to be helped by an anti-depressant. But again, it all varies and it's no panacea regardless.

 

1 hour ago, KayC said:

I read Lexipro is for anxiety

It's both (depression and anxiety), which is why I decided to try it. I get very tense at night.

[KayC]

This is kind of a good clarification...There's clinical depression and then their's symptomatic depression (grief) and doctors give one type of drug for clinical and can give another type (usually lower dose) for grief, sometimes temporarily but up to the doctor/patient/situation.
Depression vs symtomatic depression in grief