Tell me something.......good?

[jwahlquist]

I come here to vent a lot and “talk” to others who understand and get what I am going through.  But I feel like I never talk about anything positive anymore with anyone.   I miss sharing the “good things” with someone.   On that note, I thought it might be helpful to share something that happened in your day that was positive or something positive you did for yourself.  
 

I took a nice long bath and enjoyed the peace and quiet it gave me.   

[chincube]

@jwahlquist It's okay, sometimes we really need to just vent and have someone to listen, without telling us what we "need to do" to make our feelings go away. Especially your loss is so fresh. But little things we do for ourselves are very important too. I think they're more important than what I call "toxic positivity", a vague abstract concept of how we should be positive in midst of loss. In time like this, little things count, and we do our best to do things to take care of ourselves if we can.

I have been having a bad time for some time already because of the one year mark, but I bought a bottle of wine and poured a glass for myself. I sat back, do some embroidery to make my mind focus on something small. When I'm doing that, I feel calmer.

[KayC]

I shared a video of my granddaughter on FB praying for all of the sick people (she's 4)...you can view it here: 

  It made my day...it's hard knowing I won't get to see her for a while...

 

[Missy1]

Grateful because things could I be worse off. I have a lot but I am empty inside. It’s cruel, we worked so hard put everything into this house, he is not here to share this with me. It only brings me sadness, I don’t even want any of it anymore.
I feel like a ghost, stuck here. It’s ironic...

[jwahlquist]

1 hour ago, KayC said:

  It made my day...it's hard knowing I won't get to see her for a while...

Thanks for sharing that made me smile.   She is adorable.  

 

1 hour ago, chincube said:

But little things we do for ourselves are very important too.

I am trying to remember to do something kind for myself each day now.   I realized that I wasn’t making an effort to do something nice for myself so I had a small moment of peace or happiness.    I wish I knew how to do something like knit or crochet well enough to have a nice distracting hobby.  I enjoy reading but right now I just can’t focus on a book.  

 

1 hour ago, Missy1 said:

I have a lot but I am empty inside.

I get it.   I have lots of stuff and have/will have enough financially to take care of my daughter and myself but none of that means that I don’t have an emptiness inside from missing my husband.  
 

I am going to make an effort to do something for myself each day.  I haven’t been doing that and I feel like the life is being sucked out of me.

[foreverhis]

Yesterday, I had an afternoon with my dear friend's dog.  For months we had one afternoon a week when her parents had super long days, plus an evening once a week when my friend and I had baked fresh bread in the afternoon and then the four of us had dinner together.  (Boy, it's a good thing I've been owned by dogs before because I'm not a pushover for begging.  One night during dinner, her mom said, "I know you're telling the truth about not letting her beg during lunch because she's looking at us, but lying patiently in her spot."  Phew.)  

Now, her people are home all day long--and probably driving her batty at times because she doesn't get her "me time."  I'm sure she also feels their stress, frustration, and anger about everything.  And I'm all alone, period. 

My friends were really worried about how much this enforced isolation would set me back on my grief journey, so we arranged a safe drop off every other day.  We first did it by meeting in the street and then me calling her over, but now they bring her into the yard.  They knock on the door and step back about 8'.  I come to the door and our sweet sanity dog comes flying in to spend time with me.  The last few times, it has reminded me so much of a child being dropped off for a play date without so much as a "Bye, mom."  Her mom and I usually stand talking for a few minutes, while this 12 lb bundle of love dances around my living room.

Then it's just the two of us for several hours.  She's long had her own water dish and blankie here, along with homemade treats I keep in the fridge.  She's a super sensitive soul who will comfort by playing hard, "C'mon, you'll feel better if we play with the little tennis ball you got me" or loving tightly, "Here, I'm going to lie on you and love you so you don't have to cry."  We go for a walk, sometimes meeting other friends (at a distance, of course).  I'll let her go over to get and give love, especially one who is also on her own.  Then we come back and will have a little cuddle fest before she sprawls out next to me on the sofa and has a nap.

So that's my something good:  A funny, loving sanity dog who is the only "person" I can actually be near right now.

As a p.s., About 2 months ago, she was napping while I was reading Grief: The Inside Story (the only book I've bought).  The particular chapter made me cry pretty hard.  In less than 2 minutes, here comes the love bug off her blankie, onto my lap, pushing the book out of her way.  She stood on my lap and stared up at me as if to say, "I know you're upset and I'll help," before pushing her body as hard as she could into my chest and abdomen.  Then she slid down to curl up on me, put her chin on her paws, and fell asleep for about 45 minutes. 

[jwahlquist]

30 minutes ago, foreverhis said:

My friends were really worried about how much this enforced isolation would set me back on my grief journey, so we arranged a safe drop off every other day. 

I love this!   What great friends and what a great little dog.   I am glad that you have that in your life.   

[ModKatB]

47 minutes ago, jwahlquist said:

I am going to make an effort to do something for myself each day.

I think that trying to remember to do something small just for yourself is important. It is easy to push ourselves aside while we deal with everything else. I found that watching videos of baby animals was something that makes me laugh so that is what I do.

36 minutes ago, foreverhis said:

So that's my something good:  A funny, loving sanity dog who is the only "person" I can actually be near right now.

It sounds like you have a good time with your friend. 

 

2 hours ago, KayC said:

I shared a video of my granddaughter on FB praying for all of the sick people (she's 4

That is very sweet and she is so cute.

[MODArtemis2019]

This is going to sound weird. Today I was setting a humane trap in the attic for the flying squirrels (who are in the process of destroying my house). As I was placing the peanut butter in the trap and setting it, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, the little bugger had come out of hiding and was watching me (and the peanut butter) with great interest. Not really afraid either! Also at the feeder today I saw my first goldfinch of the year with new spring plumage. 

Anytime I can observe or interact with animals, I get a lift. My husband also took delight in "critters," as he called them with affection. 

[Missy1]

1 minute ago, MODArtemis2019 said:

This is going to sound weird. Today I was setting a humane trap in the attic for the flying squirrels (who are in the process of destroying my house). As I was placing the peanut butter in the trap and setting it, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, the little bugger had come out of hiding and was watching me (and the peanut butter) with great interest. Not really afraid either! Also at the feeder today I saw my first goldfinch of the year with new spring plumage. 

Anytime I can observe or interact with animals, I get a lift. My husband also took delight in "critters," as he called them with affection. 

That is special, I have a new hummingbird who hangs out for hours, he buzzes by me and hovers with interest. 
The flying squirrels sound cute, too bad they are destroying your home, that’s not good.

[jwahlquist]

3 hours ago, MODArtemis2019 said:

Anytime I can observe or interact with animals, I get a lift.

This is one of the reasons why I keep my chickens.  They are fun to watch and feed.  I enjoy hanging out with them when the weather is nice.  
 

I also like to go out and pet our horse.  She loves to be loved on and I enjoy her company.  

[foreverhis]

7 hours ago, MODArtemis2019 said:

Anytime I can observe or interact with animals, I get a lift.

Here's another animal story.

About a month ago, I had a really bad morning.  It was a day I got really upset simply because I missed my love so much.  I cried and cried.  That afternoon I walked out the back door to get out of the house for a minute.  It was wet, gray and gloomy.  We're on small coastal lots and the one behind us is dedicated green space, so it's basically wild.  There are huge eucalyptus trees nearby where various birds nest.

While I was standing there, a male peregrine falcon flew in and perched on a bare oak branch on the other side of the fence.  He preened, he found snacks on the branches, he groomed himself, he watched other birds, he did a full display.  And he did these things over and over.  I sneaked back into the house and got the camera.  He didn't seem to care that I was there less than 10 ft away.  I took pictures and videos, even though the lighting was lousy.  He stayed for at least 45 minutes.

I believe my husband somehow knew what a hard time I'd been having and sent that strong, handsome falcon to distract my mind and remind my heart of the power and beauty in the world.

[Missy1]

Wow, love this ,thank you for sharing. I have been told and believe they are with us and are everywhere in everything alive. It’s hard to comprehend but I know it’s true.

[jwahlquist]

1 hour ago, foreverhis said:

I believe my husband somehow knew what a hard time I'd been having and sent that strong, handsome falcon to distract my mind and remind my heart of the power and beauty in the world.

So beautiful.   I love watching the bird around our house.   We have 2 seasonal creeks on our property and we have ducks and geese that spend the spring in the area under our willow trees.   There are two great horned owls that live in the willow trees.   It is one of the things I enjoy about this property.   
 

So when I went out tonight to close up the chicken coop & the moon was so pretty!   So I tried out one of the night time camera apps on my phone and took a picture.  This is the time of night I always talk to my husband so I took the extra time to appreciate the beautiful night.   

[Missy1]

Beautiful!

[KayC]

Thank you for starting this thread, it's just what we needed!  We hear doom and gloom all about us and don't have a hard time finding something negative, so it's really special to take effort to find good things and to realize we're not alone, we have birds, dogs, squirrels and even the moon among us!

[foreverhis]

11 hours ago, jwahlquist said:

 This is the time of night I always talk to my husband so I took the extra time to appreciate the beautiful night.   

That's wonderful.  Your picture is spectacular and a reminder that light can shine through the darkness.  What a perfect time to talk to your husband.  Thank you for sharing both the picture and why you took it.

[MODArtemis2019]

22 hours ago, Missy1 said:

That is special, I have a new hummingbird who hangs out for hours, he buzzes by me and hovers with interest. 
The flying squirrels sound cute, too bad they are destroying your home, that’s not good.

Love hummingbirds, they are awesome. So are the flying squirrels, as long as they stay outside. Mine now has a new home in the woods,thanks to the trap. 

[jwahlquist]

Today I took my daughter, my niece and myself on a drive so we could get out of the house for a while.   
 

I also decided to go out and play fetch with the dogs for a bit.   

[KayC]

Artemis, I'm glad you caught the squirrel and was able to release it to a good habitat.  I have a lot of squirrels here and they nest in my firewood, you can see bits of insulation, etc. they've pulled out from people's homes.  They are very destructive.  They used to climb 50' up a tree and throw green cones at Arlie and I when he was going into his pen, I remember his yiking as they hit him in the head.  I imagined them laughing!

[jwahlquist]

Tonight the frogs are out and singing.   The neighbor’s property has a large pond so there are what sounds like a million of them.  I love listening to them as it is so soothing.  

[KayC]

I have the frogs here too as my property abuts the creek.  They are neat to listen to!  I've been told that your land is in balance if it has frogs.

[jwahlquist]

Today I had one of my friends that I worked with years ago send me a message to see how my daughter and I were doing and to let me know he cared about me.  It was nice that someone thought to check in on me & my daughter when they didn’t have to.  

[jwahlquist]

Today I am thankful for friends.  One of my husband’s coworkers came to pick up eggs and brought us dinner.  He also stayed to visit for a little bit at a safe distance of course.   But it was so nice to talk to someone for a bit.

[KayC]

I'm so glad!  All of ours disappeared right away, that happens a lot, I never would have expected it.

[chincube]

It's nice. Of all his family and friends, only his best friend is still here. We still talk about a bad day of missing him, or talk about dreams we have about him, or cry together.

I hope they'd be there for you too for long time too. 

[jwahlquist]

Today my something good was getting to laugh at my daughter.  She got her side by side stuck in the mud trying to get to our hayfield.  I kept saying “you’re not going to make it through there.  It is too wet”.   Being the patient person I am, I let her try.   She sunk that baby up to the rear axles.  We had to crawl out of the back and get the tractor.   I managed to pull her out with the tractor laughing because she sounded like my dad with her “I Can Make it!”   

[KayC]

You're amazing!  I wouldn't know how to pull someone out with a tractor.  But that's cute, she has confidence!  My son was that way.  I remember coming home from work and before I could fix dinner, he wanted to take me up on a mountain and show me how his 4WD worked.  Normally I'd bring bottled water, granola bars, change into tennis shoes, but he was in a hurry.  Up we went.  He couldn't get the 4WD to engage, we got stuck.  Tried digging our way out, rocking back and forth, putting branches behind/in front of the tires, nope.  Had our Dalmation/Whippet (we used to call her a Whimpet as she was scared of everything) with us.  Started off the long trek home.  Had gone up there at 7 pm, got home at 1 am.  Fixed dinner and ate at 1:30, had to be at work early.  anyway, as we were walking down the mountain, me in my work shoes, ugh, he said, "Just think what a good story this will make for your grandchildren someday."  "It's not working, Paul," I said.  We continued in silence.  We came to a band of coyotes singing and dancing.  It was quite a ritual!  Very eerie.  It was special to see that, worth it for that moment alone, I felt we'd been transported into a fairy land, being privy to something few ever venture to see.  Two of them left their group, following us, licking their chops for our Lucky (she weighed 40 lbs).  We took turns carrying her, the other one throwing rocks back at the coyotes.  They followed us all the way to civilization where the gravel road turned to pavement, then they turned around and went back.  Poor Lucky had been terrified!   The next day he went up with a friend, got the 4WD working, truck unstuck, and drove home.  It made a good story for at work the next day.

These are the things memories are made of.  Thing you don't anticipate will happen in your day, memories with your kids.

"  

[foreverhis]

My something good for today was actually something from several weeks ago.  A friend sent these to me to cheer me up.  We both have theater backgrounds and know all the original Broadway music.  Doing parodies and send ups is a big part of theater life even at the non-professional level.  If you aren't familiar with the original songs, I hope you will still find these clever and entertaining.  Plus there are some great graphics that go along with it.  The second one, well, anyone who hasn't at least heard this Billy Joel song...I can't imagine.

These YouTubes were made in March, before a few of the newer CDC rules and suggestions went into place.  The young man who made them is only 20!  He's been performing, including Broadway touring, since he was a kid (okay, I'm in my 60s, to me he still is a kid...).  I think he probably has a great future ahead of him.

Anyway, I loved these.  (Warnings:  There are a few "bleeped" out words, in both the subtitles and audio.  Though I'm not one for swearing in public, in this case the words express how most of us are feeling from time to time and are not inappropriate, IMO.  Besides, you have to let your own brain insert them.  But if you find any use at all of four letter words truly offensive, you might want to skip watching.  Also, though the videos are not political in nature, there are a couple of lines that might be insulting to anyone who is very far to the right.)

Broadway Coronavirus medley

The Longest Time, in the time of COVID-19

 

Today I discovered his Broadway followup (haven't watched it yet).

Broadway medley 2

Stay safe and healthy everyone.  Please take care of yourselves.  It's clearer every day how much we rely on each other, no matter what we believe, who we vote for, how old we are, or where we live.

 

[jwahlquist]

Thanks for sharing.  He is quite talented.   
 

My something good for today.....

I am a special education teacher and I have several students that don’t have access or who can’t use technology for their learning.  This means that I have been taking them weekly packets and checking in on how they are doing. Today one of my students asked me to visit for a bit.  He read me some jokes and told me about helping to plant the grass in his front yard.    I am hoping that this makes a difference for them too.  

On 4/29/2020 at 7:12 AM, KayC said:

You're amazing!  I wouldn't know how to pull someone out with a tractor.  But that's cute, she has confidence!

I am lucky my dad taught me how to drive the darn thing.   Honestly, it is the most confusing piece of equipment I have ever used.  You have 3 different things you have to shift to make it go.   Good thing I already knew how to drive a manual transmission vehicle.  

[jwahlquist]

A beautiful sunset and a rainbow wrapped up into one.   I am glad I took the time to appreciate it this evening. I have had a couple of hard days lately so it was nice to see something beautiful.  

[KayC]

That is beautiful!  I love the big open sky!  
Two things good for me:

1) I got all the branches from the storm a few nights ago picked up, I kept discovering more and more of them, plus I cleaned up my neighbor's as he is disabled.

2) I got my blood tests back, I am so stoked!  My weight is at 127, which is what I weighed when George and I married 19 years ago (although it doesn't look the same on me, haha!).  EVERYTHING was in normal range except my cholesterol and triglycerides, which were greatly improved.  The doctor wanted to double my Lipitor and I declined as you have to weigh the benefits against the harm...it causes Diabetes!  The diabetic Rx causes kidney damage so I'm working towards the goal of weaning off of it eventually.  My white blood count has been high several years, so has my platelets, they're now normal!  And my calcium has been high for a long time and now it too is normal!  Keto is working for me!  I can't believe how everything turned around in just 4 1/2 months.  I've been diabetic for about nine years, it hasn't been in normal range until now!

[foreverhis]

Congratulations Kay!!!  That is utterly fantastic news.  I'm impressed and so pleased for you.  My husband was diagnosed with borderline diabetes several years before he died.  We came home from the doctor's appointment, he looked at me and said, "I'm not having it.  I'm just not having it!"  He put in the hard work like you did, modified his already good diet (upped his lean protein; did without a snack or two; stopped his nightly sweet all together), tried to be more physically active, and over 15 months lost 35 lb of the 50 lb he had put on after his bicycling accident.  Over the 15 months, his A1C had been steadily trending down until it was 5.2 and never went up again.  A year later, the doctor took him off the 1/2 dose of Metformin he'd been on.  Everyone at the office was so impressed and the doctor said, "Hardly anyone ever does this."  We got home, I looked at him and said, "Well, I guess you don't have it."  I look forward to the day that you can report that you don't have it either.  Clearly, you are well on your way to that goal.

I talked to my doctor about going on the Keto diet to jump start weight loss.  Unfortunately, he said it's not appropriate for me because of my health conditions.  With my cortisol levels shooting up again, he also said I'm going to have to hang on a little longer.  Instead, he put me on a modified carbohydrate diet, which is essentially keeping at approximately half the amount of carbs in a "typical" diet.  For me, that means getting back to what my diet was when my husband was alive.  The fact that carbs with fat are so comforting has been a big downfall for me.  I was just starting to be able to lose a little, with my cortisol levels trending down and getting back to my regular eating habits a bit when covid showed up.  It really set me back.  You are inspiring me to keep plugging along, bit by bit, until I get there.

[jwahlquist]

@KayC

That is amazing!   I know how hard that is to do as I went through all of that Type Two Diabetes stuff with my husband.   I know how hard he had to work to get it under control.   You have worked really hard for that!  Congratulations!

[KayC]

Thank you both, I wish I'd known what I know now when George was alive.  They've made me a moderator in my diabetic group, I have learned so much from them, the doctors haven't helped at all, it is that group and all of the information they've posted and support they've given.  It's saved my life.

Today my BS was 81.  Maybe I can cut my meds down after all!

[foreverhis]

1 hour ago, KayC said:

the doctors haven't helped at all,

I think we have been lucky in that our doctor (an internist) is very much of the mind that behavior/dietary changes and education are better than just "Here's a pill" when possible.  I wish more doctors were that way.

He sent us to "school" to learn about diabetes.  It was a Medicare-approved course run by an endocrinology nurse, who had created it.  For 8 weeks, we spent one evening a week learning about diabetes, how to control or reverse it, and unlearning all the things we thought we knew, but that were wrong.  It was incredibly helpful and encouraging, as well as enlightening for me.  My husband never felt deprived with the small dietary changes we made.  Interestingly enough, at least to us, was that for a couple of years before his diagnosis, he started wanting fewer sweets and had asked if I could reduce the sugar in my already lower-sugar baking recipes.  For at least 15 years, I had been decreasing sugar by 10% to 30% in everything from sweet breads to cookies to jams, depending on the recipe and how much reduction it could take before it would affect flavor, texture, and final baking/set.  We both liked sweet things, but loathed anything cloying.  That's one reason we started making our own jams.  We could get fresh farmers market fruits or fruit picked right from friends' trees/vines.  Then we could use recipes for lower sugar canning right from the beginning.

Anyway, our doctor's encouragement and going to school really helped.  Then again, my love could be really stubborn, so when he set his mind to "I can't fix the damage from my accident, but no way diabetes is going get me," I knew we were in it for the long haul.  I suppose in part that his stubbornness and the fact that he had survived and overcome a nearly fatal bicycling accident (only not fatal because he was wearing a good helmet), eye surgeries due to damage from the accident, back surgery, prostate cancer, and finally diabetes were why I could not, would not believe that he wouldn't triumph over bladder cancer.  I put in his short obituary that his road had not been easy, but that he had met each challenge head on.  Some days I still can't believe that we didn't win this last time.  Sometimes it seems weird to me that after 20+ months, my life would still feel so unreal.

[ModKatB]

On 5/21/2020 at 12:25 PM, KayC said:

Maybe I can cut my meds down after all!

Congratulations on getting a good report. I am sure if you keep your daily numbers down and your A1C is down you will be able to slowly come off the medication. I got my A1C down from 7.2 to 6.1 and am taking a lot less meds than I used to. My doctor did tell me if I keep it up I will be able to stop the meds and stay off them as long as I can control it with diet and exercise. I wish you all the luck in the world because I know it is not an easy task. 

[jwahlquist]

23 hours ago, foreverhis said:

He sent us to "school" to learn about diabetes.

My husband’s doctor sent us to a place that specialized in diabetes care and counseling.   They were amazing.  They went through proper diet and exercise regimes.  They demonstrated how to give insulin shots and etc.  The dietary counseling was very helpful.  

[foreverhis]

2 hours ago, ModKatB said:

I got my A1C down from 7.2 to 6.1 and am taking a lot less meds than I used to. My doctor did tell me if I keep it up I will be able to stop the meds and stay off them as long as I can control it with diet and exercise.

Woo-hoo!  That is fantastic.  I know it takes a lot of effort and strength of will to do what you've done. 

[Missy1]

@KayC wow! What an amazing accomplishment! That requires a lot of discipline and sacrifice, really happy for you.  I really need  to get out of this poor eating and get some exercise. You are an inspiration to all. 

[KayC]

@ModKatB  Congratulations on your accomplishment too!  I never dreamed I could get a 5.6 A1C after all these years, I only wish I had all the tools (knowledge) I do now...when George was alive, maybe he'd still be alive. 

 

[Missy1]

I feel like it’s difficult to care about myself right now. I know I hate feeling overweight, it’s uncomfortable. Getting into a heathy routine is something I am working on. I used to work out a lot and run 1/2 marathons, he would support me, drive me, wait for me at the finish line and take care of me. I never want to run again with out him...too many memories. I will stick to the treadmill. When I am ready I will know, I am there yet.

[KayC]

I really wish I'd continued taking care of myself after George died, but alas this is common in grief, it's hard to care about much of anything.

[foreverhis]

17 hours ago, Missy1 said:

I feel like it’s difficult to care about myself right now. I know I hate feeling overweight, it’s uncomfortable. Getting into a heathy routine is something I am working on.

I understand this.  I look in the mirror and wonder who the heck I'm seeing.  It's not just that there's 45 extra pounds of me right now (at 5'3", that's a huge amount), but that I barely recognize my own face.  Who is this old woman with the wrinkles, the pinched look, the empty eyes?  How did she age a decade in less than 2 years?  What happened to the light and joy in her face?  Of course, like everyone else my hair is a disaster right now, so that part doesn't count.  I tell myself, "Well, at least it's clean and brushed!"

It is uncomfortable carrying this extra weight.  Just as I was starting to get some self-discipline back and care a bit more, here comes covid.  I know inside that it's kind of an excuse, but my stress has gone way up again.  I'm going to have to start caring again, but it's darn hard.  I have no one to look pretty for or to be proud of me, so I think my subconscious is sabotaging me.  The bratty, angry part that says, "Fine!  Take my love away from me.  I'll just sit here and wait until I can join him.  I don't care."  It's pretty hard to fight that inner...rhymes with witch...these days. 

Believe me, you are not alone.

54 minutes ago, KayC said:

I really wish I'd continued taking care of myself after George died, but alas this is common in grief, it's hard to care about much of anything.

Exactly.  I want to care, but most of the time, I don't.  Funny, though that I do take care of the basics like good dental hygiene (my hygenist who is also a friend even commented that she sees patients who've lost their spouse/partner come in a year later with serious dental problems), showering, clean clothes, etc.  I do my physical therapy, try to keep up with the basics in the house and yard (mostly), take walks or do a bit of other exercise.  I even make sure to eat plenty of veggies and some fruit.  You'd think I'd care enough to try to get a handle on this weight.  But for me, at least for now, that hasn't happened.  In time, I believe it will, if only because I'd want my love to be proud of me.

[jwahlquist]

While shopping the other day I decided to buy my daughter a fire pit.   This spur of the moment purchase has gotten my daughter outside every day that the weather has cooperated.  She loves to roast marshmallows and make s’mores.     This is one of the few times I have seen a genuine smile since her dad passed away.  It is the best $100 I have spent in years.  

[KayC]

I'm glad, jwahlquist.  Right now I am feeling like there were so many ways in which George was uniquely right for me and me for him, my love for him grows every day!  We were so lucky, we hit the jackpot with each other.

[foreverhis]

12 hours ago, jwahlquist said:

 It is the best $100 I have spent in years.  

Indeed!  Whatever it takes to help her and to bring you closer together is worth it.  Getting outside as many days as possible is an excellent idea.  And sitting around the fire pit just being together is bound to bring long-lasting benefits.  It must do your heart good to see her smile, really smile--even if it mostly is because of marshmallows and chocolate right now.  The casual, even "normal" moments you can share may make it easier for her to talk to you so that you two can begin a grief journey together.  What a great mom you are to be so understanding and so patient and so thoughtful.

 

[Missy1]

@jwahlquist that is such a feel good story. Making new memories with her showing her that life still has joy and love. Happy for both of you.

[jwahlquist]

On 6/2/2020 at 9:31 AM, KayC said:

Right now I am feeling like there were so many ways in which George was uniquely right for me and me for him, my love for him grows every day!  We were so lucky, we hit the jackpot with each other.

I feel the same way about my husband.  He was perfect for me.  He was the one person who made me feel whole, complete and content in life.  I was absolutely lucky to have found him and to have been able to spend 23 years with him.   I just wish we would have had another 20+ years.   
 

On 6/2/2020 at 11:51 AM, foreverhis said:

What a great mom you are to be so understanding and so patient and so thoughtful.

Thank you for saying so.  I so often feel like a failure.  But I am willing to try new things that we didn’t do before.  I think we both need new experiences as they aren’t attached to memories.  I need to find some more things we can try.  

 

On 6/2/2020 at 8:22 PM, Missy1 said:

Happy for both of you.

Thank you.  Honestly, I am hoping that we can keep making some progress.  

[Jttalways]

https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/gxbalm/my_old_girl_is_still_up_and_running_at_15_years/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf