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ModKatB

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About ModKatB

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Georgia
  • Loss Type
    Husband/ Love of my life
  • Angel Date
    Feb 9, 2018

Converted

  • First Name
    Kathy
  • Last Name
    Benton
  • Zip
    30044
  • Country
    USA

Recent Profile Visitors

577 profile views
  1. I wanted to share something I wrote several months ago for a friend who was having a hard time. Remember my child as you look in the mirror each day. I am right there looking back at you, because I am a part of you and the person you have become. While the physical me is not there for you to see, my spirit is there and I watch over you each and every day. Try and remember all of the good times even though you miss me. Take your time with this life and when the time comes I will be waiting at the gates to welcome you home. KB
  2. Please join me tonight from 7-9 pm. I am hosting a chat about some of the financial issues we face after losing a spouse/partner.
  3. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother in 2011 and I still miss her as much now as I did then but it has gotten easier over time. Now I am dealing with the death of my husband (2/9/18) but I am doing better each day. Each of us handles grief in different ways and it takes time to figure out what works. For me I started writing again, I have a journal and I write poems about how I am feeling and it helps me to stay calm. I also talk to my mom sometimes just like I would have done if she was still here. I know that may sound a bit strange but it works for me. Don't worry because you feel like you should be doing something and can't. To be perfectly honest, grief doesn't have to happen in any certain order and there really is no timetable either. I think you will find there are lots of people here who understand some of the things you are feeling right now and you can come here when you need someone to listen.
  4. @KayC I like the idea of finding a little bit of joy in each day.
  5. I wonder why they don't make it a law that you should be given your biological family medical history. When you are adopted you don't have the ability to ask mom or dad about medical problems because they are not the biological parents. If you get sick and have major health issues it is hard to know why you got sick because there is no history. I wish that they would make sure that adopted people could get that information without any hassle so that you would know if there were something you needed to look for. For me that was a big part of the questions and what I felt was a big missing piece of the puzzle.
  6. Have any of you looked for your birth parents? Did you find them or are you having trouble getting the information you need? I knew more about my adoption than most do because it was more of an open adoption and I knew who my birth mother was. I had a name for my father but nothing more than that and I didn't find any information on him until 2016, 54 years after my adoption. I was able to have a relationship with my birth mom and it was good for the both of us and she got to see her grandkids grow up. I lost her in 2011 and miss her all the time. My birth father had passed away before I was able to find his family so I did not get to see him.
  7. When you learn you are adopted it suddenly changes everything in your life. Then all of a sudden there are a thousand questions about why was I adopted, who are my birth parents, how come they gave me up. It seems like you don't really know what to do or how to feel. I was adopted at the age of 3 months and I found out at age 12 that the parents that I had were not who I thought they were. I was able to see all of the adoption papers and even got to see my original birth certificate. Even though I had more answers than most do when they find out it still did not stop me from questioning everything. It took me a long time to get some answers and even now at my age (56) I still have things I would like to know.
  8. Maybe post in each group of the forum and let them know where the chat is and how to access it.
  9. You are right, you will never forget and you will always miss them but it does get easier somewhere down the road. It gets easier to be able to remember them without the thoughts bringing tears. It seems like it won't ever happen but there is HOPE for something good to happen one day.
  10. No two people experience the same grief pattern. We all have to figure out what the grief means to us and we have to find the things that will help us get thru this. We can share our stories with others and share things that we find helpful but it is only "share" not judge nor compare. This journey is long and hard and there will be many ups and downs, good days and bad days but somewhere in the future I think we all can hope for days where the sun shines a little brighter and we are able to maybe laugh or smile at a memory. As always my wish is that all of us can find peace and maybe a small reason to smile.
  11. Most people just don't know what to say and then when they try to be helpful it comes out in ways that really don't help. I write as a way to deal with things and I am including a couple of things I wrote that were about how we don't always show what we are feeling to the outside world. You do what you have to so that you can make it from one moment to the next. I think you will find many on here that understand and will be here to listen when you need it and as floyd11554 said, the chat room is also a good way to connect with others that are making this same journey. People need to think before they judge someone by what they see on the outside. Many times they have a war going on inside and are just trying to make it day to day. KB When you look at me, you don't see the person I see everyday in my mirror. You see the mask I use to hide the truth. KB
  12. Time Left: 11 days and 12 hours

    • GRIEF SUPPORT ITEMS
    • NEW

    Introduction This book is not full of scientific data or pages of research. It isn't a step by step guide or how to book. It is just things I have written as I am taking this journey of losing the love of my life, my husband of 21 years. It is my hope that there may be something in the things I have written that might give a voice to what you are feeling so that others can understand. We all are what I like to call a work in progress because this is not something that gets fixed overnight. It takes time and patience and plenty of kleenex. All of the poems in this book are written by me and are owned by me. If you wish to share them please share the link to the ebook on Amazon, but please do not copy or reproduce any of the material in this ebook.

    $0.99

  13. @KayC Wow sounds like it has been a mess for you. Glad your son was able to come and help you out. Take care and stay warm. Lots of hugs and prayers for you.
  14. It has been so hard to learn to sleep alone after having someone next to me for all those years. I had someone suggest to me that maybe I should try a heavy weight blanket to help me sleep and at first I thought they were crazy. I finally broke down and tried it along with a heated blanket and it has helped me to get more sleep. Has anyone else tried something like this? Or is there other suggestions on how to get a good nights sleep?
  15. They are adding chat times and subjects so you can see what is going on. I spent time in the group chat and then spent time chatting with another member and it really gave me a chance to feel like the ones I was talking to really understood what I was saying instead of it being just a friend trying to listen even though they didn't get it. If you can, please take a look or a listen and see if you want to join in. As always my wish is that all of us can find peace and maybe a small reason to smile.
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