Loss of an Adult Child

[shorty16]

Thanks to all my friends on here who remembered my Brian.

Time is so word now. Sometimes it feels like just yesterday Brian died.

Now, 6 years have gone by.

Thanks, my friends

Colleen, Brian's Mom 4ever

[daveydow1]

BRIAN.........BRIAN......BRIAN......SAYING YOUR NAME AND REMEMBERING YOU ALWAYS.

 

 

Colleen----

Holding you in my thoughts & prayers today......your dear son, Brian's, Angel Day.

Difficult time,...I'm sure.  May all your memories give you a measure of comfort.  Peace to you, friend.

 

 

Wade----

I must get replacements for Davey and Lisa's rose bushes.  David's does have one branch

that seems to be still alive, but Lisa's was finished off by the harsh sub-zero winter.  Will need to

plant them in a better location this time, with more sun.  

 

Dee-----Wow...the bike ride sounds so nice & exhilarating. It has been very humid here too.  Today

is somewhat better than yesterday.  It stormed during the night.  I was busy weeding today, and

trimming trees.  Still dealing with critters who are up to no good all the time.  I think that we will

be able to get my mom into nursing care now, since we're all in agreement.  Mom knows it's time.

 

 

PEACE   AND   COMFORT   TO   ALL  INDIGOS.

 

 

Davey&Lisasmom,   Sherry    

[daveydow1]

Some of our irises.  OOPS.  Will try again......haven't tried this for awhile

[daveydow1]

Some of our irises when they were in bloom this season. Sorry for double post

[ericasmom]

Yes Col, it is terribly weird that time goes by in jumps and leaps and yet we can be right back there at the side of the road or the side of the hospital bed as though it was yesterday. Time remains an abstract notion.

 

Sherry, the iris look lovely. Ours were really pretty this year too though we do not have that variety. I love how many there are. I took another ride today but the thickness in the air made it a bit harder for me, allergies to mold are huge and after the rains, wow! But I was out for a nice hour just moving slower. Some gorgeous gardens to view along the way.

 

Wade, what a cool way to be busy this summer. I hope your nets do not pull in critters that are not salmon, just watched a show about the large netted fishing boats. Take some photos to show us how scenic it is there. I think that Renea will be glad to be with family too. You both have gone through so much in so short a time, being with friends and family should be good for you both.

[wgreenlee]

For you, Colleen...Peace and Tranquility

 

 

Brian...you are FOREVER LOVED and REMEMBERED!

[Mermaid Tears]

 

 

 

 

 

Oh Colleen....the last 3 days have been 'chaos busy'.....am sorry I am a day late....I have been reading the posts....

am sending this to you....6 years.....and I find that 'time' has another layer.....maybe because our 'thinking' goes viral....in one moment we are in place...and in a nano second....we are back  in time when our child was 2....or 6....

so we sweep back and forth so fast.....and we find ourselves always with one foot 'that was then'...and the other foot in 'this is now'.....

   I can only hope and give wishes that you can find yourself a soft spot...and wrap all the love..and kind wishes around you and they cover you like a warm blanket...and you will feel the 'care' for you....

    You do know....our children would not have left us....unless they had to....

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Wade,
Brian’s video for Colleen was beautiful.

Colleen, I watched the video of your Brian with tears. Such a handsome young man.

I wanted to share a picture of the shirts I had made for Trista’s Birthday the Glo Run tomorrow and the wrist bands I had made for Trista’s Angel Day.

Thinking of everyone and hoping for a peaceful weekend for all.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

I agree with Shannon, Wade the video for Brian was beautiful...thank you for all the things you share on here....

 

Shannon, I love the wristband you created...is your Gramma healing okay?

 

Susan, I was wondering where your posts were...are you doing things with family?

 

Dee, good to hear you were able to take some bike rides...do you have a bike trail system down there to use?

 

Sherry, thank you for sharing the picture of the Irises...love the color...I enjoy hearing your garden talk, my Grandmother loved to garden...every year it was ordering from Gurney's seed catalog...

 

Gretchen...I read your post on how people change the topic when you mentioned Forest...I cannot do weddings or graduations, just can't...it is too hard to see my friends with their families intact...not that I wish this on anyone...I just can't handle it...

 

Thinking of Carol, Cherry, Wanda, Mary Ann, Ted, Kate, Becky, Sailormom, Debbie and Lora today....and all those here in my BI family...thanks for walking the journey with me...

[Mermaid Tears]

One of my Golden Girls....Miss Pat....has been ill....then she started having pain in right side...sick at stomach..she can drive but has no car....she is so independent...but ...finally....after taking soup...watermelon...etc....for days...I finally told her that flaxseed was not going to cure it....finally got her in to Dr. I knew...and she was so weak.....he put her in ER and did mulitple tests....then in hospital room...more tests....she has gall stones...pneumonia..now has fluid around her heart...

  she has two sons.....I don't know the whole story.....but....I called the one in San Antonio....told him about her.....he acted like I told him 'his newspaper was in the front yard'.....

   anyway....he is supposed to be here today.....I have called and given him many updates....he was supposed to be here at 1:00....it is now 4 and no call...I tried to call again....and his phone is set up not to take messages....

    so...I have been doing a lot of back and forth...and have lots to do before our trip to Port 'A'....plus all the other day to day stuff....un-ending busy.....

   I am always amazed at the amazing dysfunction of 'some' people...

really....it always surprises me...and I should be use to it by now....

[wgreenlee]

Laurie and Shannon...

Thank you...another way to heal!

 

Shannon...

Go Team Trista

 

Just got back from Reno...cleaned and washed Brooks' truck that I'm giving to Mikey.  Then went to Reno HS and saw the mural Mikey made for Brooks.  It's in the main hallway of their Industrial Arts building where students will be able to see it every day.  They have to approve all the murals and the lady who showed it to me said she remembered when they had approved it, but didn't know the story behind it.  We had a good talk.  This is the HS that Carson has a big baseball rivalry with...and the coach that just loved how Brooks played...so much so that when he coached the Nevada All-star game he played Brooks the whole game at four different positions so he could get good looks by all the scouts...and Brooks responded with an incredible game...memories to keep me going.

 

 

Maybe he used one of these for the mural.

 

 

Oh, how I miss him...and everything he is...was...meant to be...

 

But it will be Ok!

 

 

 

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Wade, what a remembrance that Mikey created with the mural...it is healing that others remember your son Brooks in such a special way. Do you have any ideas yet for his memorial stone? Or are you still thinking about it?

 

Susan, have said a little prayer for your Golden Girl...you are a very special person to care for others like you do...wish I lived in your neighborhood...

[shorty16]

Wade,

You are an amazing person.

The video of Brian is priceless.

My husband and I watched it...we cried.

To all

Brian was hell-on-wheels and he was our funny bone. Laughter left us for a long time.

Yesterday was harder than I thought. I think I am doing so well and then a big event will come and my brain shuts down....unable to process outside thought.

Today was better, but his 23rd birthday is 7-12. Like many of you here, the angel and birthdays are close together. To me, Brian is forever 16.

Thanks to all my friends for their effort in making these pictures of my Brian.

Thank you from the bottom, middle and top of my heart.

Colleen, Brian's Mom forever

[Mermaid Tears]

Wade....I hope you know we all wish we could have walked in with you....and shared that moment of looking at the mural...now....that is 'art from the heart'.....a real 'healing wall'.....but thanks for sharing so we can be there in spirit..with you and Renea...we all know those crushing sweet memories that wash over us....

and we pray for strength...we crawl...for anything that will simply hold us over from one minute to the other...you have had many emotional draining days and events....I hope you and Renea hold on to each other...

it is such a hard journey...

 

 

Laurie....I wish everyone lived down the street from me.....

well....her son called and met him at the apartments so I could give him the key and her purse...his wife is very nice..they had their granddaughter with them....I gave an account of all that happened that led up to her being in the hospital...they are going to do some things and then.....go back to San Antonio tonight.....they visited her in the ICU....

    I doubt very seriously that she will be able to come back to the apartment after the hospital...I think the Dr. will have to put her in Rehab and get her strength and stamina back....we will take one day at a time...thankfully....her best friend from Galveston called me and said when she is released from the hospital she will come and take care of her.....at this point it is a 'wait and see....wait and watch'......

[daveydow1]

Laurie----Gardening seems to have been a hobby for grandmas....(my Gramma too.)'

Our kitchen table is littered with seed catalogs every spring. My husband loves to

go through them  and plan his garden. He loves planting veggies & some flowers....

mostly sunflowers and marigolds near the garden. I like all the flowers...perennials

and annuals, and those in planters or hanging baskets.  I, too, cannot do weddings,

reunions, graduations etc. and never go to them.  Too stressful and melancholy for

me. I think that it must be the same for you. Thanks for the pics. Jesse is a handsome

young man.

 

Dee---So nice to ride and observe all the gardens along the way. I do that too, when

I'm walking in town for a nice stroll up & down all the streets. The pic of the irises is

so strange, because we've lived here 4 yrs., and this is the first that we've seen this

particular plot of irises bloom. So nice to see them for as long as they last.  

 

Susan----Sending prayers for Miss Pat.  Gallstones....yikes...no fun!, and painful

for sure.  Hope she has a good recovery.

 

 

Wade----

thanks for the nice pics of Brooks and all his friends. Nice to be able...

through pics here on BI......to be able to put a name to a face.  Brookes is a

handsome guy, indeed.  Peace to you.

 

 

WISHING   PEACE   AND   COMFORT   TO   ALL   INDIGOS

.

 

 Davey&Lisasmom,    Sherry

[mysonrich]

Brian Brain :-) Brian Thinking back to thd life and memory of you with all which included smiles and laughter.

[Sailormom]

Wonder why a big percentage of our angel dates and birthdays are close together? 

My moms angel date and bd is 2 weeks diff, my dad was 25 days before his bd, my son was 21 days after his bd.

 

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Thanks Sherry for your comments...like I said about weddings/reunions...it just would not work for me...
 
I have been working on this list for the members here...I wanted to do a master list again of everyone currently posting...could someone help me out and put in some dates for me....then I will recompile the list and post it out under the Adult Child profile...if I forgot something/someone it is just because I have such a horrible memory now (always have been bad with remembering dates)...which is why I need your help...but wanted to get something like this together for everyone to have as a reference...
 
**************************************
Angel Dates and Birthdays
(Sorted by Angel Month)

**January**
Kylie (Cherry: MissKylie) May 6, 2008 – January 1, 2014
Micheal Shane (Trudi) ?? – January 18, 2007
Rich (Betsy: mysonrich) June 14, 1988 - January 18, 2009
**February**
SailorMom February ??, ???? - February 22, 2014

**March**

Sarah (Sandy: Sarah's Mama) 12-01-78 – 03-14-12

**May**
Stephen (Betty: Hotrod) March 4, 1966 – May 6, 2007
**June**
Trista Mae, (Shannon: Trista's_Mom) June 21, 1995 – June 1, 2013
Cara (Lora: Cara’s Mom) November 11, 1993 - June 13, 2012
David (Davey) ?? - June 14, 2003; Lisa K. ?? - November 15, 1970 (Sherry: daveydow1)
Brian (Colleen: shorty16) July 12, 1991 – June 19, 2008
**July**
Forest (Gretchen: Forest’s Mom) ?? - July 3, 2011
Brianna (Jenn) September 22, 1993 – July 5, 2009
Erica (Dee: Ericasmom) April 4, 1984 - July 14, 2003
Meagan (Jan: mybeautifulgirl) ?? - July 2013
**August**
John David (Susan: Mermaid Tears) ?? - August 3, 2012
Lane (Wanda: lovU2themoom) July 18 1996 - August 9, 2013
**September**
Brooks (Wade: Wgreenlee) May 18, 1989 - September 9, 2013
Sam (Debbie - SamsDMom) ?? – September 21, 2013
**October**
Jared (Becky: JD’s Mom) April 23, 1996 - October 3, 2011
Jesse (Laurie: JesseDavidsMom) August 2, 1984 – October 10, 2012
Mike (Carol: mikesmomrs) August 20, 1975 - October 14, 2006
**November**
Steve (Mary Ann: Steves Mom) July 17, 1982 – November 14, 2011
Nick (Ted: Tbearw58) March 23, 1987 – November 14, 2013
Lisa K. ?? - Nov. 15, 1970; David (Davey) ?? - June 14, 2003 (Sherry: daveydow1)
**December**
Jeff (Kate) July 16, 1981 – December 12, 2009

Jessica (Kathy: summergirl)

[Guest]

.

[ericasmom]

Yes, thanks so much Laurie for the list. I am going to bed but will look for some dates tomorrow, specifically Trudi's Boy Mike,  Kathy's Girl Jessica. Thanks again.

 

Shannon, may tomorrow be a very special day, one that brings your Girl front and Center for all who love her and honor her by joining you in Team Trista. I love the shirts and the wrist band. You worked so hard, make sure that you get some rest soon. This is the kind of even that Trista is beaming over.

 

Susan, blessings for your Dear friend. You have taken such good care of the Ladies. I do so hope that her Son will be able to show-up and be kind and giving to her.

 

Wade, love the video for Brian. So wonderful.

I also adore the mural, a labor of love and devotion. Your Brooks has touched a great many and will continue to do so in this very creative move.  Lovely.

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

This has been a 'music night' for me. I made this video for my Girl. We always stayed up until midnight the night before her Birthday so we could say 'Happy Birthday!'
 
For you, Trista Mae...

http://youtu.be/57KSN0Z_K5w

[Guest]

HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY TRISTA!

Shannon, may your day be a perfectly Trista day.

[shorty16]

Happy birthday Trista Mae,

I know my Brian and the other angels on this site are partying in heaven.

May the wings of your angel bring you peace today, Shannon.

I was where you are. Kids graduated and we are left with memories.

Please know, you are not alone.

Colleen, Brian's Mom forever

[shorty16]

Jesse,

The list of our angels is awesome.

Another part of this I like to look at is where we are from. Our state, city and sometimes country.

We are from everywhere, and brought together to give each other hope.

I just love this place.

Colleen, Brian's Mom forever

[ericasmom]

Oh Trista Love,

May you fly freely in your new home, may the whole of the moon be more beautiful than words alone could come close to describing.  May you always touch your Momma and Family with the grace and joy that you are known for. You are forever loved just as you will forever love.

 

 

Shannon, Long May She Run. I am holding your hand as you provide this day in all of its love and devotion, as you include so many to celebrate Trista's birthday. The first time I heard that song by Jennifer Warrens, I wept. It was probably 20 years ago. Something truly magical about her words. So fitting for Trista.

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

For Shannon, thinking of you today...

 

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Lora,
 
Sending prayers for your cousin and the loss of her son...I have read and talked with too many moms who have lost their sons to the after effects of war and combat...one man shared his story with me about how his only son and child was unwilling to come home again after the military made him a sniper...his son could not face who he had become and stayed in Iraq, a  man without a home...I really think "they" need to stop throwing all this money at building better bombs and other destruction tools...our soldiers too often get left behind...emotionally and mentally...we all know this grief walk your cousin is facing and their family...sending love and prayers of healing to them...

"I still look at Caras picture most days and still think it is a dream, even after 2 years. Time has no meaning, except I am 2 years closer to being with my girl."

Lora, Yes, I so  agree...

 

********************************************

Kate, how are you and Ross doing? Have the mosquitoes carried you away?

 

********************************************

Thinking of all today...

[Mermaid Tears]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shannon....all of the parents on this site...and all parents that have lost a child will know the path you are walking today...

 

I will share this with you.....I can be going 'along' my day....thinking of the grocery list...car needs to be washed...planning my day.....when I get 'hit'....it is as I am hit with a hard impact from a gun of sorrow....a bullet of deep sadness...and I am knocked to my knees....it knocks the breath out of me...

  I guess it is the clear reality that is really coming into focus....

then it passes....I close my mind to it....I can only deal with little increments...

   I do love the T-Shirts and wrist bands....

We all know how you had to reach deep to create and shape a theme for your girl's Birthday....you have our applause...

and you have our tender care....that only a parent that has lost a child...can understand.

[Mermaid Tears]

I have been reading posts....

 

Shannon.....I didn't want to get on a crying jag this morning....but I did watch 'The Whole of the Moon'....

tears are healing, too.....it touched my heart in every part....'Mama Love'...coming through

 

Lora....it is beyond sad about that young man....

 

Just found out yesterday....another Angel going to heaven....

   when Daniel had his open heart surgery I hired a guy that takes care of a friend's ranch to do the yard/landscaping at the apartments.....his son came home from college and he took over the job....his name is Kirby...such a cute kid...and he would call me when he was finished for me to come and see if there was anything amiss...he was intent on doing a good job...

   he committed suicide ....

We collapse with questions...

[SamDsmom]

Today is 9 months since Sam has been gone. At 4:08 this morning, exactly 9 mo. In 5 days it will have been 1 year since I have seen him. I don't feel well today. In a few minutes my husband will wake up, life will go on. I am dead on the inside.

I'm sorry I haven't been able to read much or keep up with everyone much this week.

Debbie

[Jeff's Mom]

Shannon, I know how hard these special dates can be to get through. The video is such a lovely and touching tribute to that sweet girl of yours. TRISTA...surround your Mom and family with your loving presence today and fill their hearts with happy and beautiful memories. Heaven must surely be celebrating your sweet and happy nature.

Laurie, thank you for compiling the list of dates. Where would we all be without you? You show the patience of Job. Jeff was born on a hot sunny day on July 16, 1981. From the time I left the house and he was born at the hospital it was a total of two hours in labor. He was always in a hurry to get things done. I have to say in that case I could not have been happier.

I have yet to get caught up on my reading in order to respond properly to posts.

I see the word suicide and it hits to the core. My heart reaches out to their families... as I know all too well the terrible pain of loss that they are having to endure at this time. Questions left unanswered that we are left to carry in our hearts forever. No answers to be given. The pain is unimaginable. We find strength deep within us that we did not even realize we had. But what can we really do? We are left to carry on and cherish the love we held so close for them. Life can be so hard.

Sherry, your picture of your Irises was just lovely. I always enjoy reading about your farm. I know it is a lot of hard work but with rewarding outcome.

Thinking of everyone and wishing you all a peaceful day. Love, Kate

[Mermaid Tears]

Living with....Unanswered questions...and answered prayers...

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Susan, I am sorry for the loss of your young helper, Kirby...it is so sad to see another young life gone this way...I just read last night a mom's blog about her son's suicide...she never saw it coming...he hid it well and the mom is still struggling very hard after 7 years...with all the questions...

 

Debbie, it was about 9 months out I started to realize that maybe Jesse wasn't coming home again...my subconscious mind in a dream actually "informed" what my conscious mind did not want to accept...and on some levels, I still do not accept...be gentle with yourself.

 

Kate, I updated the list on the post from yesterday with your information. When I think I have enough updates I plan on posting it in the Loss of Adult Child Gallery so it will be available.

[Mermaid Tears]

Laurie...at this point...I have no information except he did return to U 0f T.....after working for me last summer....the last conversation I had with him he was going to 'float the river' with his girlfriend before heading back to school last Fall...

he was at his Mother's home and he used a gun....

  and now....that 'I' have lost a child and all of us on this site....we can actually feel pain and deep grief for someone we don't even know....for we know the 'hell hole' they are in....

 

Yes Debbie....every month is a marker...

and yes...as Laurie said.....the 'when' they are coming home...

becomes the 'if' they are coming home...

and we hang on...

and then we 'know' they are not coming home....

but....we still want them back...

[Jeff's Mom]

Thanks Laurie, I appreciate it.

Debbie, hang on with both hands. It will slowly ease over time.

Today we attended a memorial service for one of the young women that sat in the chemo room with my husband. She was given two years to live and darned if she didn't die almost exactly to the day. A family yet to raise. She always smiled. Always had a positive outlook. She told me that as her time was short it was too short to be angry or worry. She wanted to accomplish everything that she could pack into the time she had left. Gosh I admired that young woman.

Sandy, thinking of you and hoping that Kelly is doing ok.

[wgreenlee]

Happy Birthday, Trista Mae...Beautiful Girl...loved and remembered this day!

 

 

The video was wonderful...I saw new pictures...new memories.

 

Thinking of you and your family and knowing the day is filled with TRISTA!

[Jesse David & Taylor Mom]

Wonder why a big percentage of our angel dates and birthdays are close together? 

My moms angel date and bd is 2 weeks diff, my dad was 25 days before his bd, my son was 21 days after his bd.

 

It does make it harder I believe when these dates are so close together...you barely get through one event and the next one hits...

[ericasmom]

Shannon, I loved the video and hope that today held some magical moments for you and the Boys and Gramma. We know it did for Trista.

 

Laurie, and Sailormom,  I think that the having those dates so close is also so difficult because the joy of their birth and the absolute loss with the date of their death lay so close to each other.

 

Lora, I commend you for being able to attend the wake for your cousin's Boy. I know that it must have been difficult to be there, to feel the sadness in all of its alarming giant-ness. I am so sad for those we send to serve our country and how hard it is to ever find normal again when they come home. We have not taken good care of our veterans for a very long time. Growing up during the Vietnam war showed me that our Soldiers were not given the emotional care upon coming home. We let them rot in veteran's hospitals with little care to helping the soldiers find ways to reenter the world they left. They have seen and done things never ever thought of before, coming home feels 'foreign' to those who have been overstimulated by war and all that it brings.

I will send hope and prayer your cousin's way because we know that the road she walks is a tough and filled with holes and jagged places. I hope that she can hold on and find her way.

 

Susan, I am sorry tat Kirby felt so in despair that he took his life. I know that those questions can never be answered.

 

Kate, I know it must twist your heart in knots when you read of the pain associated with suicide.

I am sorry for the woman who lost her battle with cancer. Prayers.

 

Sandy, you out there?

[SamDsmom]

TRISTA, TRISTA...HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY.

Smile down on your family.

Shannon,

Thinking of you and your special TRISTA MAE!

[lovU2themoon]

TRISTA SWEET TRISTA ON HER HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY

 

BRIAN BRIAN ON YOUR ANGEL-ANNIVERSARY. 

 

 

 

Reading the post, and found the discussion about birthdays, Lane was born July 18 1996 and he died 3 weeks later August 9 2013.

I can hardly believe it will be a year soon. 

I cant  believed i lived one day past his dying, actually, i don't think i did, the person i was then, is not the same person i am now, and neither is Lindsay, and because we are now a family

of two, not three, everything has changed, My thoughts are barley the same, my self confidence, i am afraid of the dark, afraid to be alone. So, i am not the same person, i think that person

did die with Lane.

 

Its grad week starting Monday, the grad committee put an invitation on Lane`s cross, and they ordered lanyards in his memory. 

Very tough this week. lane was soooo excited to be in grade 12, graduating and heading off too SIAST (trade school) for computer technology. 

But no grad, no suit, new shoes, no diploma, no awards. Finding this week tougher then i thought i would.

All part of the journey.

 

 

 

[Mermaid Tears]

Wanda...while you are in your deep grief....you are with many that grieve for him also...what sweet tributes for your boy

[SamDsmom]

Wanda,

THinking of you today. What an honor and tribute to Lane. It made me think back to the video that his gaming friends made. I hope you are finding Some peace today.

Susan,

I'm so sorry to hear about Kirby. Suicide us a horrible tragedy. It always makes me think how sad it is to see no other way out. His family is in my prayers.

Shannon,

Thinking of you and Trista and gramma and the boys. Eager to hear how it went yesterday.

Wade,

I can't remember when you said you were leaving on your trip. It sounds awesome. It has always been a dream of mine to do that.

Laurie, Gretchen, Maryann, Cherry, Kate, Lora,Ted, Becky, Dee and everyone else. Thinking of you all today. I have gotten behind on my reading again. I am thinking of everyone today. Hoping and praying for some peace and quiet in all our hearts.

Debbie

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Thank you to everyone for your sweet words and pictures, remembering my Trista on her birthday and for your words of encouragement for me. The day before her birthday was filled with anxiety and I slipped into a pretty dark place. I kept myself afloat with pictures and music and focusing on making that video for her. The morning of was really hard as well and I even entertained thoughts of just spending the day in bed. I know each Birthday and special day will be hard. In many ways this was like the 1st Birthday for me because Trista’s 18th birthday came so close to the day she left I was not really ‘present’ at all. If I hadn’t written about the day I don’t think I’d have much memory. I asked God for strength and to allow me to feel my Trista with me. I did find a renewed strength and I’m so glad I did. The evening was a beautiful way to celebrate Trista. We all met at my house for some snacks before heading to the Glo-Run. Family who couldn’t participate in the run came to visit. We took fresh flowers to Trista’s site. The Glo-Run was so Tris. We all felt her with us in the music and lights and the energy of the place. We had 14 people on ‘Team Trista’. Gramma was all decked out in her wheel chair that my cousin Lori and I decorated for her. There was a woman there who saw our shirts and approached my niece. She said she was from my town and knew of Trista’s passing. She also had lost a Son. She said she had heard what we were doing to honor Tris at the Glo-Run and so she came too, to run for her Son. That touched my heart so much. After the Glo-Run we came back to my house for cake. I had a special cupcake candle to light for Trista. Then we sent up 19 sky lanterns with our love and Birthday wishes for Trista. By that time everyone was beat so the kids slowly left and I was finally in bed at 1:30 a.m. and slept a deep sleep. I haven’t had a deep sleep like that in a while. Everyone asked if we can make the Glo-Run a yearly thing. I think that’s wonderful. My Zak has decided he wants to join track. He said he was “inspired”. He’s always enjoyed running but never in a group setting so I think that’s great. Overall, I think everything was perfect and I’m glad we did it. What I really want is my Daughter. I want her back more than anything in the world but instead I will do what I can to celebrate and honor her. If in doing that others are touched and inspired than it’s all part of something bigger and she loves that, I know.

[Jeff's Mom]

Shannon what an amazing day you had yesterday. I just loved your idea and it looks as if it was a huge success. Trista I am certain was with all of you in spirit as you celebrated her special day. I just love the glow idea. Your Gram appeared to be doing pretty good. Thanks so much for sharing the pictures. I think a yearly event could be in the making.

Wanda, thank you also for the pictures of your sweet tribute to Lane. Hold on and take it one day at a time.

Laurie, I have just now had the opportunity to read your section on grieving. Thank you so much for going to the effort to compile all of this really valuable and helpful information for all of us. It definitely is a source of comfort.

Wishing all of you a decent and peaceful day. Kate

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

Wanda,

“I can hardly believe it will be a year soon.
I cant believed i lived one day past his dying, actually, i don't think i did, the person i was then, is not the same person i am now, and neither is Lindsay, and because we are now a family of two, not three, everything has changed, My thoughts are barley the same, my self confidence, i am afraid of the dark, afraid to be alone. So, i am not the same person, i think that person did die with Lane.”

I echo every word. This is all so hard. I just passed that year mark with Trista’s birthday following shortly after, all the graduation things. I understand how sad and hard and painful this all is. I love what the school has done to honor Lane. Please know I’m sending you love and prayers during this time.

Kate,

Thank you so much. I’m wishing you and Ross a beautiful and peaceful day too.

I’m still catching up on reading.

Peace and Love to all today.

[ericasmom]

Wow Shannon, it was a lot of work but it was the kind of work that did so much for everyone involved. Your Gramma is so lovely, touched by the love all surrounding Trista. Thanks for the photos and the rundown of your day. Get the rest you need now. It takes a lot out of you to do this. Our Eri-fest turned into a yearly event and we are glad of it. It seems a great way for those who love her to spend time with each other and to catch up with one another while also adding to the fund in her name.

I know though, that all you want is having her back with you and she knows that too.

[ericasmom]

Oh Wanda, earlier today I left a long post to you, a long one and I don't see it here now. I wonder where it went???

Suffice it to know that I celebrate the school and classmates for their love and outward showing of it for Lane. I wrote telling you what it means to us when we do not know who we are anymore, but right now I can not reproduce it, I will try later. I am holding your hand and heart.

[Guest Trista's_Mom]

This song has been sort of my anthem over the past few days... getting ready for Trista's Birthday and the Glo-Run. It was kind of perfect. I wanted to share it. This is what I imagine all of our Children would say to us... and this place is a sort of compass, helping us find our way in the dark.

Love to all today...

[Jeff's Mom]

Shannon, a perfect song to start my morning. Thanks!

Wanda, hold on and know that each day will bring the ups and downs of grieving. Eventually there will be more good days than bad.

Carol, how is Kim getting along?

Sandy, thinking of you.

We woke up to lovely sunny skies. Perfect temps and not too hot. We have had a fair amount of rain the past week and walking into the site has now become a challenge due to the mosquitoes. Hopefully it will dry out quickly. We are looking forward to our upcoming Canada Day weekend. Tourists arrive by the droves. Ross and I are just going about our days quietly and enjoying the fact that summer is finally here and he is holding his own.

Thinking of everyone. Kate

[SamDsmom]

Shannon,

What a great song. For sone reason, it makes me think Trista would love that you shared that. Thd glow lights, the words and meaning were a great way to start a Monday morning.

Debbie