Members Janka Posted February 27, 2015 Members Report Share Posted February 27, 2015 :huh2: It was the last time I saw my beloved man early in the morning,smiling,kissing and talking to each other those unforgettable words full of undying love.3 days later the phone rang.It was his brother telling me:"Jan is dead."My heart broke into small pieces,even now I have the tears in my eyes.At that moment I was speaking to my beloved Jan,telling him everything from the bottom of my heart,desperately crying and hoping he does hear me,and he did.After hour rang a message from my mobile,so I entered the room we were sleeping 3 days ago to see and the sender was my beloved Jan,but message was empty.I think he was there while I was crying in the kitchen and let me know this way,so I entered the bedroom and at that moment I got the most beautiful evidence of his immortal love,because on the sheet of my bed was engraved a big heart.I know he´s been by my side all the time,helping me hold on my way to home he´s waiting for me to come.You can see my story on the board of The loss of a partner.Thanks for reading! One day we´ll see our loved ones again... Janka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Janka Posted March 5, 2015 Author Members Report Share Posted March 5, 2015 :rolleyes: Dear ad99, I found on here your answer about mine and your ADC.It was writing so nice and beautiful,but at that time something happened with server,that´s why I couldn´t get back about 3 days and now it´s already all right but your answer haven´t put in here.If you come back,write me on here. Hugs from Janka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ad99 Posted March 8, 2015 Members Report Share Posted March 8, 2015 Hi Janka, I've written a very similar post to the one I wrote here. Here is the post... http://forums.grieving.com/index.php/topic/8709-signs-and-comfort-from-our-passed-loved-ones/?p=124810 I knew the site was down few days ago, and then I post was gone....Thanks and hugs to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Janka Posted March 10, 2015 Author Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2015 :huh: ad99, since my beloved man Jan suddenly died my world has knocked down.It was 11.11.´11 at 1 o´clock by night.Those seven digits explain it all.The only thing helping me to do not think of my immense suffering and horrible anxiety in every second of my being was just work.As you said:"Being busy is the pain pill for me..."I went to work the next day.I couldn´t stay at home.It did work for some time,but since I´ve been learning to live and cope with my pain more than 1000 days and nights there´s also something new:"immense loneliness that I´m not able to live with,not even to cope with so far".The time doesn´t matter.I only know that I must try...to do not break down...to do not lose the common sense...to stand up each time and move on...I do it every day of my life because of my beloved Jan waiting for me in heaven.I´ll never stop crying for him.He is everything I´m living for every second of my life.I do visit his grave every month more than 3 years to bringing him the most beautiful roses and I´ll always do for the rest of my life.There is all of my love in every stone...all of my tears in every lump of the ground...Do you know the feeling when a powerful surge of grief can overcome yourself so much that you suffer more than before and can´t stop crying though you try to?Sometimes I wonder how can my heart stand so much pain...It´s so hard...When I lost my beloved Jan,I lost my "everything",so it´s the worst wound I´ve ever felt in my whole life.It still hurts and always will until I meet my beloved Jan again.I got the most beautiful evidence of his immortal love when I found a big heart engraved on the sheet of my bed and many others,so I have the power to survive.I live my life the best I can to be worthy of being with him there in heaven.I believe in God.It helps me as much as possible.The love may change everything and now I feel as one person,one part it´s my beloved Jan and another part it´s me,two hearts beating as one forever.He is everything I have,I believe in and I love till eternity! :wub: Janka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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