my dog Bella

[Alun Richards]

I had to put to sleep my beautiful dog Bella.She was a 9 year old cavachon who was quite poorly with an enlarged heart. My vet gave her some tablets for the buildup of water,and tablets for her poor little heart.It has only been a week now since she's been gone,but I can't get over her loss,I still go on walks to her favourite spots,and can't stop looking at her photos. I do understand that to others this might be silly, but it really is painful. Family members have suggested I get another dog,but I feel I will be letting down the memories of my Bella,and don't think I cold love another dog as I loved her

[KayC]

No, it is not silly at all.  My Arlie (Husky/Golden Retriever) has been gone over four years and I still miss him.  My heart is buried with him.

I didn't think I could love another dog like Arlie...well I was right in that it's not the same but I was wrong in that I love this dog just as much.  They both had unique traits that no other dog could replace.

I am so sorry for your loss, I know it to be immense as dogs are so loving and forgiving, they are in our everyday lives and weathered the storms with us.  Everything reminds us of their absence.

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died nearly 18 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

[Alun Richards]

Thank you

[KayC]

You might consider writing to memorialize her, so in a sense, she'd never die.  I did.

 

 

I lost them within 4 1/2 months of each other.

 

[foreverhis]

21 hours ago, Alun Richards said:

Family members have suggested I get another dog,but I feel I will be letting down the memories of my Bella,and don't think I cold love another dog as I loved her

I’m so very sorry you lost your sweet girl. It’s hard and painful. You’re right that some people simply do not or cannot understand the bond of love we share, especially with that one special companion animal we love as a “soulmate in a pet.” It’s a precious thing and extremely difficult when we lose them. Grieving for our Charlie (my soulmate in a dog) and Penny (my husband’s soulmate in a cat) were the most painful losses in my life, until I lost by husband John.

It is all too common for friends and family who don’t “get it,” to tell us to just get another dog or cat or other pet, as if we can simply replace them like a piece of furniture. They are irreplaceable and unique, just like humans. You might want to simply say, “I am not ready for that.”

 If I may give you a bit of my personal advice? No, you will never love another dog the way you loved Bella. We never love exactly the same way twice. How could we when every animal and person who enters our lives and hearts is unique? Still, that doesn’t mean you will never be able to love again, differently and just as deeply. You must give yourself time to grieve and wait for your heart to be open and ready.

It took years for John and me to be ready after Penny died, 3 years after we lost our Charlie Bear. Then we had serious health issues to muddle through before ultimately I lost John to the bastard cancer. There were times I didn’t think I would survive and times I didn’t care if I did. But a bit more than 4 years on, my heart was ready.

Of course, everyone is different and it might take someone else 6 months or 6 years because there is no timeline of grief. And sometimes happenstance puts a new companion animal in our lives when we least expect it. KayC’s dog Kodie and my cat Cosi are kind of good examples of that. Here’s the link to my thread in Loss of a Partner of how my Cosi girl found me. I had not intended to adopt her that day, but went to meet her so my mind could tell my heart, “This is not the cat you’re looking for. Move along.” You’re probably not ready to read it just yet, but when you are, I hope it helps you know that our hearts hold infinite love.

The road to Cosi

Again, I am truly sorry you are going through this now. You have found a good place to be with people who understand because they too have experienced the unconditional love and acceptance of special companions.❤️

[Alun Richards]

Thank you so much for your heartfelt reply,and sorry you have also felt hurt and pain of loosing someone close to you.

IT'S really good to know there are people like yourself to take the time to help ease the pain of loosing someone you love.Once again thank you.

             Alun