What positive can you list today?

[DotPark]

A friend gave me the idea to turn one of my husband's shirts into a stuffed animal. He was a big guy so there's lots of fabric to work with...and I can tuck a lock of his hair inside.

[Sar123]

@Sparky1 How thoughtful of your daughter- in-law to make you quilts out of your wife’s clothing  and a quilt for your dog, too. 
 

8 hours ago, DotPark said:

A friend gave me the idea to turn one of my husband's shirts into a stuffed animal.

That’s a wonderful thing to do. I had teddy bears made out of my husband’s Vikings sweatshirt for my grandson and one out of a flannel shirt for my daughter. When my son and grandson dress in their Vikings shirts for the football game, they also include the teddy bear (my son always sends a picture). I’m glad there are people who are talented and know how to sew because I do not, lol. 

[Rey Dominguez Jr]

On 1/8/2024 at 3:16 PM, foreverhis said:

I cooked pasta and sausage and my kid ate it. 

It sounds like a stupid positive,

That is great!  It’s a step in the right direction, or a start anyway. 

I made Veronica’s Mexican rice along with some taco meat for my son and I.  What was astonishing is I remembered all the steps and how she would measure and toast the rice before adding the hot water and tomato sauce.  But what made it worth it was my son telling me it tasted just like his mom’s rice.  I told Veronica “See?  I was paying attention when you were in the kitchen!”  🥲

[KayC]

Yesterday's positive:  I made it through the snowstorm another day.  One day at a time.

[Boggled]

On 1/7/2024 at 6:43 PM, rlh said:

Tonight was the first real attempt at a return to normal with a meal we normally eat weekly.

When some small change happens and we realize ... we're just that tiny bit closer to what we USED TO think of as "normal," those tiny changes are what I'm experiencing too.  Sounds like your kid is a budding gourmet, rlh, he's certainly using his taste buds!   

Yesterday I just up and decided, I'm going to get in the car and drive down (about 10 miles one way) to the bank ... and did it.  It's this SPONTANEITY that's new for me.  Since my husband died, I've pretty much stayed home, and when I HAD TO go buy groceries, I'd plan the whole trip to get everything I needed to do all into the one (moderately long) trip.  But yesterday I didn't need or want to do anything else ... just the one thing, so did the 20-mile trip just for the one thing, and at least it meant I got out of the house, saw some scenery, talked for a few moments with another human being, and IT WORKED.   No planning, if anything, the "planning" part was, NOT to do anything else.  and ... I DID IT.  

And back at the house, another realization:  "I'm alone!"  (gasp!)  surprise, surprise, surprise (as Gomer Pyle used to say) and "I ought to do this more often," as in, get out of the house for no real purpose except to get out of the house and there's a whole world out there, woman.  It's a step out of the self-protectiveness ... one more tiny step.  "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step," SOMEhow I'm at least beginning to want to take some other tiny step ...  there is a "next."

[KayC]

Proud of you!

[RichS]

16 minutes ago, Boggled said:

It's a step out of the self-protectiveness ... one more tiny step.  "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step," SOMEhow I'm at least beginning to want to take some other tiny step ...  there is a "next."

Good for you, Boggled! Small steps are important; as long as we don't expect too much of ourselves too soon. I've extended my walks with my son a little longer. You try, and see if you can stretch your limitations. If not, that's OK. At least you know where you stand for now.

The "one day at a time" strategy works well for me. In snacking (my weaknees), I'm learning that I will have bad days, but the next day I'll get back up on my feet and try to do better. Same thing with depression. Yesterday, I could tell right away that my attitude wasn't the best. I felt irritated, indifferent and wanted to just go through the motions to get through the day.  Today, I got up and did some yard work with my son; rather than staying indoors on the computer and watching TV. The fresh air (55 degrees) perked me up a little; and I felt that I accomplished something. The old saying, "what a difference a day makes" has truth to it. As I've said many times on this board, "who knows how our minds work?"

[DWS]

My positive today is that my appointment with the urologist went as well as I could hope! It's too long of a story to go into but today's visit was an annual checkup after concerns last year about my prostate, some problems with inflammation (I'm certain brought on by my grief) and a cancer scare.  Unfortunately three years ago, my older brother was diagnosed with prostate cancer and chose to have his removed. Because my PSA readings have been elevated, all of this has given reason for the monitoring. A few days ago, I checked out the current reading online from my blood test that I took just before the new year, saw that it was elevated still, and went into a major downward tailspin of worry and stress. Thankfully, my urologist reassured me today that there's nothing of concern "there"....but oh how I wished Tom could have been there in the waiting room with a smile holding my coat instead of doing this alone.  I go back in six months for another checkup. 

[KayC]

I wish that with you DWS, just as I wish George and I were weathering the growing old together...together we could weather any storm...together.

[rlh]

It took the better part of my energy this week, but I finally have two potential sources for grief counseling for me and my son (as well as an initial counseling for me on Tuesday through a resource from work). I'm not sure how the Tuesday session will go, as I don't know how honest I'll be able to feel in a setting that is work-adjacent, but if might be a good baby step into my actual counseling since I don't know what the wait for an appointment with them will be.

[Gail 8588]

My positive  is that I felt good and got a few things acomplished  today.  I sewed all morning with my church ladies.  We made white stoles for each child in this year's confirmation class. I took my car in for a routine service this afternoon.  And tonight I am taking care of my grandsons so their parents can go to Atlanta this weekend.

I feel like a normal capable person today.  It is a welcome change.

[widower2]

My positive is it's Friday and Monday's a holiday   

[rlh]

My basement didn't flood again despite the overnight rains. Just a few puddles.

[KayC]

That is a huge positive!

[RichS]

I scored some 5-8 year old basketball games this morning. The referee is very lenient on the rules. Some examples:

-  Some kids don't dribble the ball. They'd rather carry the ball like a bag of groceries.

- Three kids wrestling away the basketball for their team. Problem is, THEY'RE ALL ON THE SAME TEAM.

- A couple of times a kid would dribble the ball towards the basket. Problem is, they were going the wrong way.

It was fun, I had a few laughs, but I should stop now. Why? Because someday I may play in an 85 and over basketball league and make the SAME MISTAKES!!

 

[immortalgypsy]

Tidied up house a bit and did a load of laundry.

[widower2]

10 hours ago, immortalgypsy said:

Tidied up house a bit and did a load of laundry.

Same here. Needed to vacuum too, but that'll wait till tomorrow 

[Rey Dominguez Jr]

Had to go to the Navy base exchange and find some new jeans because I blew out my favorite pair of comfy jeans helping my son work on the brakes on his car.  While at the base got me a hair cut because I could hear Veronica telling me it was time for one.  

[KayC]

I did my vacuuming first thing in the morning yesterday, I wanted to do around the wood stove & hearth before I opened the wood stove and the embers were hot, so after I did that, it's easy just to keep going, so here I was at 3 am, cleaning! Ha! Didn't dust though, don't want to get too carried away!

So my two feet of snow is totally saturated, it started raining, what a slushy floody mess.

Thankful my daughter called off work...freezing rain and snow in the city, Eugene isn't used to it.  Glad she uses sense.  Reports of roads were horrid yesterday!  Downed power lines, wrecks, emergencies...

[KayC]

Kodie is very sick, feels feverish and throwing up.  Can't make it to town today due to weather, will see how he does...🙏

[foreverhis]

Oh no, Kay!  Poor boy.  I'll be sending prayers for him and you. 🙏💗

[DotPark]

My positive thing is how proud I am of my daughter. She's worked 10-hour days since Thursday planning for the President's visit on Monday to the nonprofit where she works. She's coordinating with the White House advance team and the Secret Service and she is having the time of her life. The behind the scenes stuff is really fascinating. No matter your politics, this is pretty cool! 

[Boggled]

19 hours ago, KayC said:

Kodie is very sick, feels feverish and throwing up.  Can't make it to town today due to weather, will see how he does...🙏

How is Kodie today, KayC?  

[immortalgypsy]

I fixed dinner for my daughter and me. First time in over 3 weeks. 

[widower2]

On 1/14/2024 at 3:22 AM, Rey Dominguez Jr said:

Had to go to the Navy base exchange 

I had to laugh because it's been so long since I ever even saw or heard the term "base exchange," let alone used it!

[KayC]

My positive is a big one, I got my internet back after it and my phone went out day before last, haven't been on here since Sunday!  I felt cut off from the world. Most of the time it wouldn't text either.  It's so weird how you can drop off the face of the earth and no one notices!

Boggled, Kodie is doing better, ate a bit yesterday, stool small but normal, no more vomiting.  No idea how/why he got so sick Sunday, it came on suddenly, maybe a virus, I was worried about a blockage.  Still can't drive to the valley where the vet, etc. is.  It's a sheet of thick ice out there, wrecks everywhere in Eugene. Hoping my daughter's kitty Stella is okay, haven't heard since Sunday.  she was going through the same thing.

[DWS]

1 hour ago, KayC said:

 It's so weird how you can drop off the face of the earth and no one notices!

I think more than a few of us on here noticed...and were concerned! Glad to know it was just an internet disruption...even though that, in itself, can make our lives lost and miserable when it happens. 

[foreverhis]

3 hours ago, KayC said:

It's so weird how you can drop off the face of the earth and no one notices!

Kay, I am so relieved to hear that Kodie is improving. You know that I am someone who when I do pray it’s mostly in “general” terms. Since Sunday, I have been very specific. I went so far as to send, “Don’t you dare take that sweet boy from her. Don’t you dare!” As if I am the one in charge or something…

Believe me, I noticed your absence. I must have checked in six or seven times yesterday just to see if you had checked in. I didn’t even read posts after my first daily visit. If we hadn’t heard from you today, I planned to send you PMs and email.

With us around, you’ll never drop off the face of the earth without notice. Please give Kodie a hug from me and one for you as well.❤️❤️

[RichS]

Two things for today:

1) Kay: We're all glad that Kodie (your best friend) is feeling better.

2) Ross and I took our Uncle (who just turned 95 today) out for breakfast. He was feeling fine; he just didn't seem too excited about going. I told him he was going to have a good time whether he liked it or not. :). His friends from Florida sent him a birthday video. That really made his day!

 

[Gail 8588]

My positive for today is I had brunch with my good friend here in Tallahassee.  We have had holiday activities, my trips to the forest and then to Atlanta, and my various childcare days with my grandkids that have kept us from getting together  much. It was delightful to just relax over brunch and catch up with each other.  She and I phone and text each other most everyday, but it is different to have the chance to be together. I really enjoyed it. 

[KayC]

So glad you had that!

[foreverhis]

3 hours ago, Gail 8588 said:

She and I phone and text each other most everyday, but it is different to have the chance to be together.

Gail, that sounds like a marvelous day.

I agree that when it comes to close friends, the face to face time is so fulfilling.  My best friend (sister-by-choice--we are usually mistaken for sisters anyway) and I have lived 3 hours apart for more than 20 years now.  Yet we keep our connection strong.  When John and I moved, the four of us (including her husband, our brother-by-choice) figured how to swap visits back and forth so that we never went longer than a couple of months without spending several days together, first with children and then later just us adults again.

She and I text little this-and-that sometimes and when we get on the phone, it's usually 2-3 hours later by the time we hang up.  But nothing, absolutely nothing, beats just spending time together.  COVID really put a damper on that for 2 full years and it did stretch our bonds a little, but it didn't break them and now we're strengthening them again.  One of my visits to them, she and I did something we haven't done for many years:  Just the two of us stayed up until the wee hours, watching movies, sipping wine, having a late night snack, and just being together.  It was wonderful.

[steinbok]

Is it positive that I could look in his closet, collect a bunch of clothing, and donate it away to a good cause related to the LGBT center in San Diego?   With gentle prodding, I was able to do that this morning. 
I also started to fill up the raised beds that needed it bad, but hadn't gotten around to it yet.     I bought a wheelbarrel the other week, and finally used it.    It's looking a little better.   Still am triggered quite a bit.  Little cries here and there.    So surreal

He died on Jan 6th.

[Gail 8588]

Well, my positive is that the  temperature outside is above freezing now.  I know that is not true for much of the US. 

We have several more nights of below freezing temps coming this week. John used to always deal with the outside faucets and stuff.  I'm  never quite sure what I am supposed to do.

Should I have put antifreeze in my car somewhere?  I didn't.  I guess I'll  find out if I should have.

[widower2]

Reasonably certain your care has antifreeze Gail, or it wouldn't run for long! Whether it's a little low or needs changed out or not is another story, but it does last a very (very) long time. You can easily check it; the cap is probably marked "Antifreeze" near the front.

[RichS]

1 hour ago, Gail 8588 said:

We have several more nights of below freezing temps coming this week. John used to always deal with the outside faucets and stuff.  I'm  never quite sure what I am supposed to do.

Gail:  You should disconnect your outside hoses if the outside temperature is expected to dip below freezing (32 degrees or lower).

[Gail 8588]

Thanks RichS, I did take off the hoses. I put the foam pipe covering (sort of a gray pool noodle that is slit) over the pipes I could reach.  I also put chemical hand warmers (that hunters use), between the foam and the pipe at midnight, as the handwarmers are supposed to last 10 hours.  I also dripped the faucets a little bit. 

I had small ice sculptures under the faucets this morning.  I tried to attach a photo  but can't  seem to get the size of the file down small enough. 

I have 4 outdoor faucets, one one each side of the house.  It's  a lot of running around in the cold inserting my hand warmers at midnight. 

Fortunately, we only have about 1 week of winter weather in Tallahassee.  I'm  not complaining.  I know everyone else has a lot more to deal with. (I lived in Chicago  for 4 years.)

[Gail 8588]

@widower2 Thanks for your assurance about the car.  I just took my car to the dealership for routine service last Friday, and they "checked all the fluids". Hopefully they put in antifreeze if it was needed.

I don't  know if the windshield  wiper fluid needs antifreeze. I drove the car today and everything seems okay. 

I don't  have a garage or carport, so my car is just exposed to the elements.   Would it do any good to drive around  at midnight and then put a blanket over the hood to try to keep in the heat?   It is supposed to be colder this Thursday night. 

[widower2]

1 hour ago, Gail 8588 said:

@widower2 Thanks for your assurance about the car.  I just took my car to the dealership for routine service last Friday, and they "checked all the fluids". Hopefully they put in antifreeze if it was needed.

I don't  know if the windshield  wiper fluid needs antifreeze. I drove the car today and everything seems okay. 

I don't  have a garage or carport, so my car is just exposed to the elements.   Would it do any good to drive around  at midnight and then put a blanket over the hood to try to keep in the heat?   It is supposed to be colder this Thursday night. 

You're welcome but don't put anti-freeze in the wiper fluid! I think they do sell some kind of wiper fluid with some kind of anti-freezing agent in it, but it's not necessary. As long as the spray nozzles aren't blocked by snow/ice, they should be fine. 

You really shouldn't need to drive the car around late at night either. My (old) car is also outside and got covered in snow and ice, lows in the 20s at night. It's fine. 

[KayC]

Woke up at 2 and no internet/phone/texting again.   I sent out texts hours later when it was possible.  Whole town out again.  It's getting old.

Gail, do you normally keep antifreeze in your car?  I would definitely keep some on hand!  My daughter's BF was getting ready to drain his and wouldn't you know, it froze as he was low.  Hoping it hasn't camaged his truck as he tried to start it remotely (and couldn't).  My daughter's car had a tree fall behind it in her parking place.  I hope the manager gets it taken care of soon.  Eugene is at a standstill.  It's a huge mess like I've never seen, five days in a row they've had to miss work.

It's a mess here too, can't go to the valley where we go for anything.

Kodie seems better.  Praying for my daughter's cat, she's been sick all week, can't hold anything down.  Can't go anywhere.

Thankfully internet and phone came back and I was able to text finally after several hours.  Don't know if it will happen tomorrow too. 

[Gail 8588]

Kay, 

I have never put antifreeze in a car in my life, that I can remember.  For the 38 years I was with John, I as am sure he did. I do remember seeing jugs of antifreeze in our garage, when we lived in Atlanta and in St Augustine.  We had garages at both of those homes, so the cars had some protection.

In the 7 years John has been gone, I don't  think it ever crossed my mind until now. 

Tonight is not going to be as cold as last night. (27 tonight, 24 last night) so I think I'll  be okay tonight. (Thursday night is going to be colder, 20 or 19. ) Tomorrow I'll  call the dealership that just did my service and ask them if I need to add any antifreeze. 

If they say I need to add it, I'll look for a YouTube video to learn how to do it.  🙂

[steinbok]

today, I cut back the roses for next seasons blooms, filled another raised bed planter, contacted the autoinsurance company that Reed had passed away, saving 140 on the premium for 6 months.        Am organizing my website so I can post the obituary, and broadcast the Celebration of Life....  
My friend just left, and he was here a week to keep me company during the first week post-Reed.   It kept me balanced, though, I am alone tonight.    I have to get used to this.

Now, if I could get rid of one of the cars... soon enough....

[widower2]

 

14 minutes ago, foreverhis said:

I really don't think you should worry, Gail.  As far as I know, all coolant has anti-freeze in it.  I imagine that there are different formulations for different climates, but I'm not sure.

Basically, it's a liquid that does both, so the "coolant" and "anti-freeze" aspects of it mix with the water in your radiator so it's boiling point is higher (coolant) and freezing point is lower (anti-freeze) to help keep your engine's temp not too hot, not too cold. A Goldilocks thing. And it lasts a lonnng time, but it should still be checked at least twice a year...ideally right before summer kicks in and right before winter kicks in...to ensure you're not low.  

[foreverhis]

@widower2 Thanks for that information. That’s what I thought, but wasn’t sure. I have a basic understanding of automobile mechanics and could do stuff like change a tire, oil and filter, and even spark plugs and clutch cable (on my ‘67 VW Bug), but don’t always know the details.

[widower2]

I'm no mechanic myself, but similarly, can do the basics. Most advanced thing I ever did was put new brakes on my car years ago, and that was with some help. What a pain; never again!

[widower2]

Yknow what that suits me fine...heck I haven't even changed my own oil lately. It's not really that much more just to have someone do it, so why not, that's why I make money so I can pay others to do certain things. In fact, I'm overdue to check my anti-freeze now that I think of it, and it should probably be changed...that's easy enough for even me.   

[RichS]

Today I got my first shot to help with the pain of my sciatica. It's actually not been too bad over the past few months; but that could change (bones can shift against nerve endings); so hopefully this will do some good instead of surgery. I have a followup visit with the doctor in two weeks. It's going to take longer than that to find out whether or not future shots will be helpful, so the story to be continued.

[widower2]

Best of luck with that. I have it too but (knock on wood) it's been behaving lately.

[Rey Dominguez Jr]

Not sciatica but I am having to deal with some nerve issues causing me pain and burning sensation on the front of my right thigh.  Stretching and heating pad seemed to calm it down but I cannot get rid of it.  Also causing pain in my lower back right side that seems to travel to my hip in certain movements.  Makes me stand up all stiff until I take a few steps.  

[KayC]

10 hours ago, widower2 said:

I'm overdue to check my anti-freeze now

I have an appt to get my oil changed Monday and they will check my antifreeze and all of my car's fluids.  

Wow, seems so many of you have sciatica...seems it's like a body check to make sure we're still alive and kicking!  It's almost like when we age we find out what it is we get to deal with!  With me it's my hands...unfortunately that involves anything I try to do.  Oh the fun of it!  🙏for all of us!