Stress

[Sparky1]

2 hours ago, widower2 said:

Check something called Libre Office. It's basically an MS Office clone, for free.

I have tried it widower2, even before when it was called OpenOffice, or some such name. It's pretty good for a free software but I got the basic Microsoft office for pretty cheap so it does what I need it for. Mostly just the Word app. For  email I was a Eudora user for like 20 years and then it went to the dump after they abandoned it. Now I use Thunderbird for email which is free and very simple to use. Never liked Outlook, what else is new, it's a Microsoft software.

[widower2]

I use Outlook at work, that's enough for me thanks. I was on gmail but after finding out about their snoopy ways abandoned that for protonmail, which is secure and they don't fish around your data.

[KayC]

I have both, I've never had problems with gmail, my main email, have used it since 2006.  Outlook, Proton, and yahoo were secondary and in reverse order.

[KayC]

Microsoft wanted permission to access my google account, um NO!!!  They changed my password, had a helluva time getting access into my own account, in all these years, have never had that happen!  Did I mention how badly I hate them!  They hit my bank account for four $1 charges with google, again, never had this happen before. 

[KayC]

Literally went through hell yesterday, bank said I'd been compromised and wanted to destroy my M/C, I don't think so, am keeping a watch and see on it, so far nothing.  Even more concerned about my google account but since I changed my pw, nothing.   Reinstalled AVG, put Chrome back as my browser, disengaged McAfee (again!) , got the blasted Office 365 downloaded and called it a day.  What a day!  No repeats please!

[KayC]

I am supposed to go on a ladies retreat but to have them lay down the law about Kodie, that had never been an issue before, because another service dog is going besides him and deliver that message 2-3 days before going in a not very nice way...I'd literally be joined at the hip with him for four days, first she said he'd have to be kenneled the whole time, I haven't had him in a kennel since he was a pup and then only at night.  I can't even lift the kennel now, let alone take it apart.  Then she said he'd have to be on a leash the whole time.  Not allowed in kitchen.  Last year he got deathly sick because someone dropped a bunch of raw onion on the floor so that's probably a good thing.  Then she yelled at me because he sleeps with me and yelled they wouldn't get their deposit back.  She finally relented and snapped, Fine!  We'll just give up our $200 deposit!  I'm getting beyond it, unsure what else they'll spring on me.  These are things you mention BEFORE someone signs up and pays, not right before going.

My blood sugar is up 20 points from the stress and I've worked so hard at it!  Am considering not going even though halfway packed.  I wanted him to experience the coast, was looking forward to it, but not if he'll be treated some kind of way.  FOUR days of this, not sure I can survive.

And it occurred to me that all of these stressors are external.   Things that we encounter in our lives.  Not fun though.

[widower2]

That is inexcusable. Sorry to hear they're being such jerks!  

[KayC]

Thanks.

[KayC]

I'm going to try, but they're without a treasurer right now, never happened before.  I did it for years and provided seven months training to the one who just left, she didn't give much notice and so far no one has volunteered.

I think the final clincher was having a fit because I sleep with him.  At first I packed a sheet to put over the bed, but honestly, I just think I'm done with it.

[RichS]

Kay:  I agree with Gator. With all of the hassles, it might be best to stay home on this one. But that's me............

[KayC]

I put in my request for a refund, have made up my mind and unpacked.  My blood sugar being 111 was the clincher, up 20 pts from where it's been, since I made my decision it's down to 82.

[KayC]

Yep!

 

[Sar123]

@KayC I think you made the right decision in not going to the retreat. Why did they have a problem with Kodie now when they hadn’t in previous years? Putting him a kennel all day would have been cruel. 

[KayC]

Because someone else is bringing their service dog that is aggressive.  So punish MY sweet obedient dog for it?!  And it was delivered to me in a very curt way and getting options was like pulling teeth.  It got me upset and and no coming back from that, I think I made the right decision.  Not going somewhere where things are that beyond my control.  Too many women in one place anyway.

 

[foreverhis]

2 hours ago, Gator M said:

Ann used to say, go where  you're celebrated not where you're tolerated.

 

I love that!

[foreverhis]

5 hours ago, KayC said:

Because someone else is bringing their service dog that is aggressive.

What??? An aggressive service dog? No, that doesn’t seem right. A trained service dog will be mindful, protective, and alert, not aggressive. A trained service dog will guard, of course, because that’s part of the job. Off the job, they can play, interact, and “relax” as humans do when off the clock.

It doesn’t matter whether their service is for physical conditions (blindness, deafness, diabetes, epilepsy, etc.) or mental/emotional support (PTSD, trauma, depression, etc.).  Aggressive behavior on or off duty is not okay, at least as far as I have ever heard or seen.

What a bunch of…you-know-what.

[KayC]

Panther injured his paw/leg yesterday, today he jumped off an 8 ft. patio and now it's really swollen.  He won't go into the carrier for transport and it's $600 to have someone come to your home to euthanize.  If he would just stay off of it!  I moved his house, food, and water close to the patio door so we can keep an eye on him.  Praying...I don't know what else to do, don't have $600...

To top it off, a lady I've known for years on my other grief site disappeared 3 1/2 months ago, much like tnd did.  I'm the only one with her real name/address/phone number, I contacted the Seattle police for a wellness check, she went into the hospital in June, the hospital won't tell me where she's been discharged to.  She has an alcoholic "friend" that was staying with her, very abusive, not unlike tnd's situation, and I see "someone" checked into her site in August that I suspected was the alcoholic, which means she has access to her tablet and cellphone.  I'd already tried c'alling her with no results.  Seattle is a pretty big place and I doubt she went home, she'd had a botched back surgery that left her in a lot of pain and incapacitated and totally dependent on this person.   No kids, husband died years ago, no relatives in the city, only a cousin that called her once a month, no name.  Very concerned.

[foreverhis]

Kay, I'm so sorry to hear about Panther.  No matter what happens, please remember how much you've given him, love and friendship and care, since he first appeared.  I know we'll all be sending prayers and comfort to the three of you (I include Kodie, of course).

I was thinking about tnd the other day.  So many, far too many, people do not have safe support systems and many societies, including the US, do not care enough to make sure that the "safety net" includes truly caring for the vulnerable and older people.  I don't consider myself a "bleeding heart," but do think that to live with basic human decency, we must understand that not everyone can "pull themselves up by their bootstraps," especially widows and widowers who so often lose their support system.  (Off soapbox for now.)

[widower2]

47 minutes ago, KayC said:

Panther injured his paw/leg yesterday, today he jumped off an 8 ft. patio and now it's really swollen.  He won't go into the carrier for transport and it's $600 to have someone come to your home to euthanize.  If he would just stay off of it!  I moved his house, food, and water close to the patio door so we can keep an eye on him.  Praying...I don't know what else to do, don't have $600...

 

ouch, sorry to hear. Can't you take him without the carrier? 

 

Quote

To top it off, a lady I've known for years on my other grief site disappeared 3 1/2 months ago, much like tnd did.  I'm the only one with her real name/address/phone number, I contacted the Seattle police for a wellness check, she went into the hospital in June, the hospital won't tell me where she's been discharged to.  She has an alcoholic "friend" that was staying with her, very abusive, not unlike tnd's situation, and I see "someone" checked into her site in August that I suspected was the alcoholic, which means she has access to her tablet and cellphone.  I'd already tried c'alling her with no results.  Seattle is a pretty big place and I doubt she went home, she'd had a botched back surgery that left her in a lot of pain and incapacitated and totally dependent on this person.   No kids, husband died years ago, no relatives in the city, only a cousin that called her once a month, no name.  Very concerned.

Sorry to hear this too. Hopefully the police know about the "friend" and are checking up on her.

5 minutes ago, foreverhis said:

Kay, I'm so sorry to hear about Panther.  No matter what happens, please remember how much you've given him, love and friendship and care, since he first appeared.  I know we'll all be sending prayers and comfort to the three of you (I include Kodie, of course).

I was thinking about tnd the other day.  So many, far too many, people do not have safe support systems and many societies, including the US, do not care enough to make sure that the "safety net" includes truly caring for the vulnerable and older people.  I don't consider myself a "bleeding heart," but do think that to live with basic human decency, we must understand that not everyone can "pull themselves up by their bootstraps," especially widows and widowers who so often lose their support system.  (Off soapbox for now.)

Yes and nursing homes in general from what I've seen or heard range from barely passable to horrific. My best friend's mom was in what is touted as one of the best in the state and her room literally was scarcely bigger than a walk-in closet...barely enough room for a twin bed and tiny dresser. 

[widower2]

I disagree. There are a lot of people who care and do good things, but the media reports all the bad stuff because that's what sells. 

That's why I go here instead mostly: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/

 

 

[KayC]

1 hour ago, widower2 said:

Can't you take him without the carrier? 

To take a feral cat in a car such a long ways without a carrier would be foolhearty and hazardous.

[widower2]

ah didn't know he was feral...

[foreverhis]

2 hours ago, Gator M said:

Where have you been?

Human decency, morality, ethics is becoming a thing of the past.

Believe me, I am not just discovering this.  I did not just, as they say, crawl out from under a rock, though there have been days I wish I could crawl under one.  Sorry if I gave that impression.  It's just not something I discuss often on the forum.

I think there are far more good people in the world than not, but the "nots" are often the loudest and have the most control, power, or money.  I have had my share of bad experiences with corporations, etc., but I've had excellent ones as well.  Unfortunately, it's the bad ones that both stick with us longer and often affect our lives more.

[shawnt]

I also believe there is more good people than bad. Most of them just go about their lives doing what they can.

[widower2]

1 hour ago, foreverhis said:

Believe me, I am not just discovering this.  I did not just, as they say, crawl out from under a rock, though there have been days I wish I could crawl under one.  Sorry if I gave that impression.  It's just not something I discuss often on the forum.

I think there are far more good people in the world than not, but the "nots" are often the loudest and have the most control, power, or money.  I have had my share of bad experiences with corporations, etc., but I've had excellent ones as well.  Unfortunately, it's the bad ones that both stick with us longer and often affect our lives more.

Exactly. Often it's the "one bad apple" thing too. Like you can be in a movie theater with 100+ people behaving themselves...but there's the one moron who thinks it's OK to talk during the movie, or bring their screaming baby, or keep their cell phone on, or whatever, who ruins it......so you leave the theater thinking "why can't people behave in a theater" when in fact most did. 

[Roxeanne]

14 hours ago, KayC said:

lady I've known for years on my other grief site disappeared 3 1/2 months ago, much like tnd did. 

I'm so sorry for Gwen, Kay! She went trough a real Calvary...you did all you can! So bad that, like Tnd, when you need help no one is there for you...so sad!😔

 

[KayC]

13 minutes ago, Roxeanne said:

I'm so sorry for Gwen, Kay!

I had the police do a wellness check on her, they called me back and relayed that it was when she disappeared on our website that she was admitted to the hospital, gave me the name.  I called it and they only told me she is no longer there but wouldn't tell me where she went.  I believe it was her abusive alcoholic friend Dee that sponged off of her that entered our site mid August through Gwen, had it been Gwen she would have typed something, if only two words!  The pain was really getting to her.  My heart is broken, when you talk to someone every day for years...

13 minutes ago, Roxeanne said:

like Tnd, when you need help no one is there for you.

I offered tnd to come stay with me, our church would have done all they could to help her...she was unable to travel because of her oxygen.    Someone else here also offered her a place to stay, same thing.

[Roxeanne]

Yes i remember...Tnd strongly wanted  a place where she can live alone...! Maybe this wish made her underestimated the difficulties...

What Gwen and Tnd have in common is: they were surrounded by people of no trust!

It's painful we couldn't help them in some way...🙏

[KayC]

I try to take in what is good, as the bad can bring you down, for that reason I avoid the news, read enough to know what's going on but quit watching the nightly news...

[KayC]

Everything does.  These are hard times we're living in.

[KayC]

Panther is using his foot too much, swells up when he does that and gets worse.  I see he's sleeping on the patio (I woke up at 2 am) in his basket of birds nests (strange cat...note I say HIS basket now ) hoping he rests up today.  And no jumping...his worst enemy.

[KayC]

Now Panther has reinjured the same paw, it's bloody and missing fur.  That cat is going to be the death of me!

[widower2]

I wonder if there isn't some animal service or vet you could call that might be able to help? I know he's feral, but there might be some such group or vet that has dealt with situations like this? 

[KayC]

It costs $600 to have someone come out here and he wouldn't come if they did.  The only one I've seen him come up to besides myself and Kodie is my grandson momentarily.  Not even the cat rescue across the street.  And he will NOT go near a cat carrier!  Right now he's resting and licking his paw.  No idea what happened as he's been on the deck all morning and I don't see anything sharp!

[Sparky1]

3 hours ago, KayC said:

Now Panther has reinjured the same paw, it's bloody and missing fur.  That cat is going to be the death of me!

Kay, I was just thinking, is it possible someone has animal traps set out and Panther got caught in it? Maybe he struggled himself out of it thankfully.

[KayC]

He would never go into one.  Maybe someone in the neighborhood has broken ;)glass?  I had to get rid of his birds nest he sleeps on, filthy and with that open wound!  I put a towel in the basket, now he won't go into it...wasn't his idea. 

[widower2]

10 hours ago, KayC said:

It costs $600 to have someone come out here and he wouldn't come if they did.  The only one I've seen him come up to besides myself and Kodie is my grandson momentarily.  Not even the cat rescue across the street.  And he will NOT go near a cat carrier!  Right now he's resting and licking his paw.  No idea what happened as he's been on the deck all morning and I don't see anything sharp!

I didn't mean for you to pay all that; I was thinking maybe some state or local animal service or charitable vet that might do it...but as you say, it would be hard if they can't even get near him. This may sound goofy, but I wonder if any of them would have one of those dart things like you see used on bigger animals to knock him out from a distance? I know, I'm just spitballing...I guess I'm feeling a little of your frustration at wanting to help but feeling unable to. Keeping fingers crossed! 

 

5 hours ago, KayC said:

He would never go into one.  Maybe someone in the neighborhood has broken ;)glass?  I had to get rid of his birds nest he sleeps on, filthy and with that open wound!  I put a towel in the basket, now he won't go into it...wasn't his idea. 

Sense of smell is so important to animals...maybe you could rub it around in some dirt or leaves or something that's a smell that he'd feel more comfortable about? (I know, more unsolicited advice   )

[KayC]

I put Neosporin on his wound, he took off, jumped off the patio, landing in dirt, to never be seen again!  I put a towel in his basket then added a knit scarf for softness, but when dI called him (several times) nothing.  At bedtime I could not sleep, laid there for 5 1/2 hours worrying about him...he came back.  He ate but would not come near me...this is the same cat I treated for ear mites when I first got him!  VERY untrusting now.

I just looked out on the patio and he is sleeping in the basket I prepared for him. 

Dirt is the very reason I got rid of the birds nests he slept in, on an open wound?!  No.  But he still has the smell of the basket.

[KayC]

Panther doing better and he took to the basket after I put my most plush towel and hand knit scarf in it to line it with.

Not only have I had a month from hell but so has my daughter, I think hers even tops mine.  Talked to her and hers last night, omg!

Her apartment building hired roofers who took the roof off and then it POURED RAIN!  Yep, water damage all over top floor, where she and eight other tenants reside.  Workmen in and out, tar on her carpet, ruined her rug.  Also said they might have to temporarily move but there's no where to go, all the motels are full because of Autzen games.  They still haven't let them know.  Damage in the walls every room but hall bathroom and kitchen.  She has kittens and lots of expensive plants, how?!!!

To top it off, in switching phones her ten year old contact list downloaded onto her new phone, none of the numbers are any good.  I told her I would send an email to everyone on her current contact list before her phone dies and give them her new number and have them email her back on it, at that time she can replace or add them to her contact list.  It'll be a pain but not as bad as not having their number!

Her brakes started squeaking, she got the part and made arrangements to bring it up to her brother's to put it on today, all while not knowing if she'd have to move.  It started squalling real bad so he told her it needs rotors too, so she got them.  In the midst of all this, her brain wasn't working and she left her debit card somewhere in their machine, the bank put a hold on it, she just got it back.  What a nightmare, plus working all the time!  Where the hell is their inheritance when they need it!  Stupid lawyer and CPA are taking forever, been nine months since the house sold, no sign of anything yet.

Me, I've been dealing with laptop issues constantly the last month.  I filed a dispute for OneDrive l the while it was DriverSupport, had no idea they're hitting me $10/month for life!  Uninstalled them both, and hoping they truly cancel the ongoing payments.  FINALLY got into their portal, it's very barebones, doesn't show the credit.  Can't cancel the dispute, need to call the bank but it's a weekend now.  This is just constant.  Oh the challenges!  

I told Melissa not to worry about my birthday, we'd catch up when things calm down.  Praying she makes it to my son's okay.

Melissa's BF Finley has worked his tail off all over the country and his job had him in the hole so he quit and got a better job in construction, so proud of him, he only applied to three and this was the higher paying one and he doesn't have to leave the state!  Essex just got a good man!  I think it's been stressful for them with all the stress Melissa is under, I've never heard her sound so through the roof!  If she was older I'd worry about her having a stroke.

So Kodie and I are on our own today, Finley wanted to get together with me today but I don't want to take up his day unnecessarily, will wait until it's a better time for them both.

[RichS]

Kay:  All I can say is.............WOW!......Another example of how there are so many people in the world with bigger crosses to carry than ourselves. Yeah, celebrating your birthday in the near future might be the best thing to do until things calm down.

[Liva]

In my view, stress is not an insurmountable challenge. Like many other, I often encounter stressful situations, but I've identified certain remedies. I sought information at the hospital, and the doctor suggested focusing on relaxation when stress emerges. However, I found this advice unsatisfactory, so I consulted a friend. They recomnded CBD flowers, and I plan to give them a try to attain the relaxation I seek.

A heartfelt thanks to my friend.