See you down the road

[MichaelR]

I don't know how many people have seen the movie, Nomadland.  I had seen this movie some time ago soon after it came out.  Now, as I deal with the recent loss of my wife and soulmate, I watched this movie again.  This time it had a different and very deep impact on me.  The themes of loss and solitude just resonated with me.  I thought I'd just describe one of the final scenes.   (Bob Wells in this movie, by the way, is a real person - not an actor.  He speaking here of his personal experience.   Here is the scene:

It's nighttime, and a circle of people sit around a campfire.  Individuals get up in turn and throw a rock into the fire as each person remembers or honors someone they'd lost.  A few of them say a few words as they throw their rock.    One woman holds a picture of a loved one.  Another, as she throws her rock into the fire, says "Because she loved rocks."   Another (Bob Wells) stands and says, "See you down the road (and says his son's name)" as he throws his rock into the fire.

 Fern  (the main character in the film) throws her rock into the fire, and is silent.

Later, Fern, speaking privately to Bob, says  "It's like my Dad used to say, 'What gets remembered, lives'.    I maybe just spent too much of my life just remembering, Bob. You know what I mean?"

Bob replies,   "I can relate.  I rarely ever talk about my son, but today would be (he has to stop here to collect himself) ...  today would be his thirty-third birthday and ... five years ago he took his life (he is momentarily overcome and takes a deep breath).   And I can still barely say that in a sentence.  And for a long time, every day, the question was, how can I be alive on this earth, when he's not.  And I didn't have an answer.   And those were some hard, hard days.    But I realize that I could honor him by helping people and serving people.   It gives me a reason to go through the day.  (Laughs softly). Some days that's all I've got.  

Bob continues:   "One of the things I love most about this life is that .. there's no final goodbye.  .. you know I've met hundreds of people out here and they don't ever say a final goodbye .... they'll just say I'll see you down the road.    And I do.   Whether it's a month or a year, or sometimes years, I see them again.   And I can look down the road, and I can be certain in my heart that I'll see my son again."  Speaking to Fern he continues,  "And you'll see Bo again.  And you can remember your lives together then."   

(Fern quietly smiles.)   Fern's van is then shown as she drives off alone down a winter highway toward the mountains.  The closing message on a black screen at the end if the film is:   "Dedicated to the ones who had to depart.  See you down the road."

Again, there is so much in this movie that resonated with me.  The question Bob asked himself, is one I now ask myself every day:  "How can I be alive on this earth, when Susan is not?"     :  

And Bob speaks of finding a reason to get through the day.  I understand this need.  Right now, my focus is on just making it through each day and I have little sense of purpose.  Bob speaks of helping others as giving him some purpose  and helping him get through the day.   I can understand this, too, and maybe in time, I will find that kind of purpose. 

And for me what is especially meaningful is:   "See you down the road" .   I don't know what to call this - a declaration, a vision, a prayer ...  whatever it might be called, I feel it deeply and am holding on to it.   For me it provides some hope and solace.  Somehow, in some way, we will be with each other again.  We will somehow connect "down the road".  And in the meantime, while I am here "on this earth" we will continue to find ways of being together..

 

[Roxeanne]

MichaelR i saw the movie i think 2 years ago and i wrote a post about that here...

It was very moving and i cried all the time...!

First of all 'cos after my loss i would like leave everything behind me, and be on the road as Fern do...

And  'cos the pain, the despair you feel in that movie is our pain, is our despair...

and yes that hope.."see you down the road!" Is our immense hope to see our loved ones again....

Thank you to remember me some meaningful emotional moments...i want to see it again and cry again!

And that dedication at the end took my breath then and it will takes my breath again now:

"Dedicated to the ones who "had" to depart"

For me was like a tender revelation...i always screamed inside me: Why did you leave me ?

Instead he "had" to leave me...and it's  bittersweet comfort and regret!

Nomadland talk to our wound heart with the power of a dream that will become true...somewhere on the road!

 

[KayC]

It brought these to mind:

Continuing Relationships
Continuing beyond physical death
Continuing Bonds - rituals, world, body, life, beliefs, cause, time, person, human
Continuing Bonds - WYG

Here's your post, @Roxeanne https://forums.grieving.com/topic/17954-just-a-suggestion/#comment-206969

[Roxeanne]

Thank you Kay