How do I deal with a new death while still dealing with another recent death before that and maintain?

[Boss_Lady]

I am new to this but right now I am really struggling and I have many people that count on me.  I need to take care of myself so I can take care of others.  So, I am trying anything I can right now to figure out a way to guide me thru this process in my life.  I lost my grandmother last year to cancer.  I was taking care of her with my aunt for quite sometime before that.  I watched her pass away in front of my face.  I cant get that picture out of my head.  I miss her so much.  She was a very one the best grandmothers a person can ask for. I never appreciated her until I got older.  I appreciated the times, we would just sit and talk and we were both very honest with each other.  Then on 12/27/2021, my mother in law passed away from covid.  Most people are no as lucky as I am to have great in laws. My mother in law and myself were best friends.  We told each other everything, no matter what it was.  We talked a million times a day everyday for over 19 years now.  We have discussed what my role would be if she was not here any longer because she did have other health issues.  I made a promise to make sure everyone was taken care of.  So I am really trying not to grieve because for three weeks after her passing, my heart literally hurt.  I feel like I have a broken heart.  I can not longer call anyone to vent to and explain what drama is going on.  I only have myself because I do not want to put my troubles on anyone of my other family members. I need to be strong. But the more days that go by the harder it is becoming. Everything happened to soon to much to fast and I am still hurting over my grandmother. I need to know what to do and how to get my mind together because I know I am not myself and in order to be what I need to be for everyone, I need help. Please someone give me some guidance.