Dreams

[Roxeanne]

I dreamed of him last night..and how it happens in dream i was struggling all night long to find him in the middle of a lot of people without masks..i was scared in the dream 'cos i knew the epidemic wasn't over!

When i woke up this morning i felt very down!

I realized  that i am so unhappy  without him, even if i don't recognize how unhappy i am!

[JohnB]

Oh Roxeanne, my heart breaks for you.  I dreamed of Rhonda recently, and we were arguing about a silly amount of money. I woke up and was really sad. 

i hate this club. 

[KayC]

Roxanne, (((hugs)))   You, too, JohnB!

[jmmosley53]

I so wish I dreamed of my husband.  I'd love to see his sweet face again.

Most every night I close my eyes and then... it is morning.  If I dream at all I don't remember the dream.  I don't notice the passage of time when sleeping.  It is like close your eyes and 5 seconds later it is morning.

[Sparky1]

@jmmosley53
I wish I could sleep like that. I fall asleep fast but sleep maybe 4 hours and then just lie in bed with my eyes closed. I have had a few dreams of my wife that were very vivid and she's told me more than once that she loves me. I haven't had one I could remember in a while now and I long for one every night. Seeing her and it feels so real gives me great comfort.

[LMR]

I'm with you Sparky1, I sleep about 3 hours a night. I have had a couple of dreams but they were so short I barely had chance to touch him. In both of them I knew he had died, that it wasn't real. It was still nice to see his face even for those few seconds. I hope I have more.

[Gail 8588]

In my first couple of years I dreamed of John several times.  In each dream both he and I knew he was dead.  We talked about the boys and how lost I was. He was very comforting. Holding me, encouraging me.  We never talked about where he was or what it was like for him.  I wish we had. 

The dreams felt very real.  In one dream we were walking around a lake, that we walked around hundreds of times in real life.  In the dream a yellow fly landed on my shoulder and John swatted it and killed it before it bit me.  John had really quick reflexes in real life.  Here he was in the dream saving me from a yellow fly.  Boomer our beagle was in most of my dreams with John.  They greeted each other with great affection.  

I have not dreamt of him in quite awhile now. 

Gail 

[KayC]

I rarely get those dreams, I wish I could.  I don't have a hard time getting to sleep originally, I've established a routine, don't go on line for a couple of hours beforehand, don't eat within three hours of bedtime, relax with my puppy, but when I wake up in the middle of the night as my bladder calls me, it is then I can't go back to sleep, hence a sleeping pill.  For years I struggled against the idea, not getting enough sleep, had a long commute and stressful job but still I resisted the help...I finally said, heck with this, I'm accepting the help, I need my sleep.  And I haven't regretted it.  If I knew of some magical way to switch my brain off in the middle of the night, I would.  I've had lifelong GAD and it only worsened with loss/grief.

[tnd]

Dreamt last nite that I was at some sort of facility set up as a shelter for people. I don't know if they were there because of war, a tornado, a wildfire or flood but they clearly needed help. I told someone standing near me that I was going to see who I could help when just as I started to walk away, I heard my husband's voice. I turned around and there he was, with a sheepish grin on his face. He told me was coming with me because he could help too. I couldn't believe it. But he repeated himself, adding that just because he's not "here" doesn't mean he still can't help people. Wow. It was too short but an awesome dream! It would be very  hard to not believe he is still around. 

[DWS]

@tndWow....what a wonderful dream for you to have! It brings you so close to him again. 

[KayC]

Wow!  Very special dream!

[tnd]

9 hours ago, DWS said:

brings you so close to him again. 

For being a shy quiet kind of guy he sure has been making some noise lately. 😄

[KMkm]

I pray for another dream but I don't get them.  The last one was a few months ago and she asked if I still loved her and I said I will always love you and watching you pass away was the hardest thing I had to endure and then I woke up.  Like others most days I go to sleep and then wake up...4 to 6 hours later.  No matter how many hours of sleep I'm exhausted as soon as I am awake and the brain fog comes right back.

[Canadagirl81]

I lucid dream of Glenn a lot. We have conversations and I get to say things to him that I wish I had when he was here. He reassures me of things I worry about and waking up from them is so hard. We hug, kiss and cuddle in them. I have always been a very lucid dreamer where I remember very specific details, I know I am fortunate. They don't feel like dreams, they feel like visits. I pull out my phone and record voice memo's while I'm still super fresh from the dream...it's always amazing to go back and listen. What I find very interesting is that I rarely, if ever had dreams of Glenn when he was alive. 

Sometimes I find when I don't ask for dreams of him, that's when they come

@tnd AMAZING DREAM!

[KMkm]

That sounds amazing, I would love to dream.  I hardly ever do and really never did.  I beg my wife for a dream but my brain isn't functioning well.  Probably all the concussions and now grief.  I feel like I need a dream to give me a boost to keep moving forward.  I am starting to think that eventually my will to go on will slowly diminish to nothing and this fight will be over.  I'm glad that you dream a lot and it's nice to know that it's possible.

[tnd]

On 4/16/2022 at 7:33 AM, KMkm said:

No matter how many hours of sleep I'm exhausted as soon as I am awake and the brain fog comes right back.

I don't sleep and then during the day I become overwhelmingly sleepy. It's like having the flu.         Hope you have better dreams soon. 

[KayC]

11 hours ago, KMkm said:

I am starting to think that eventually my will to go on will slowly diminish to nothing and this fight will be over. 

(((hugs))) Give it time, it's a lot to process and try to digest.  Look for something good in each day, like a challenge, some days are harder than others, some days I feel it's grasping at straws but something happened to me when I started practicing this, it in our focus, not the thing that happens as much, but it all adds up to helping us feel better.

[tnd]

I don't know why and am a little bit embarrassed by this but, I've been having dreams that include my ex-husband. He is a very bad man and has probably been incarcerated for most of his life. Only recently has he been in my dreams and even then I do not want to talk to him. So why is he showing up? Why now after my husband has passed? I just want to dream of my husband and the good times we had, not of my ex. 

[KayC]

Yep, I get more dreams of my kids' dad than of George and I don't get that, maybe subconsciously there's unfinished business?  Who knows, the way things are, they will remain that way.  He had a very toxic wife so no contact there.  I never have understood why I rarely dream of George, I think of him every day, I still love and miss him, so why?  We were very much in each other's lives, much more so than anyone!  

tnd, I understand your frustration/confusion at this, my first husband was also very bad and I'm thankful he's never in my dreams (they'd be nightmares then!) as I hope to NEVER see him again!  He was an abusive monster and belongs behind bars.

I've never had luck with this, but some swear by it! Dream, How To Control Your (While You're Sleeping) | HuffPost

[tnd]

11 hours ago, KayC said:

Yep, I get more dreams of my kids' dad than of George

It kind of gives me a sick feeling and I also feel guilty, as if I've betrayed my late husband. I guess that's why I don't talk to my ex in these dreams er...nitemares. But I've never dreamt of my ex before. Wondering why I am now. Well, I may not have very many of my late husband but when I do they are good and very comforting. That's why I keep a picture of him near the bed, so when I dream of him I can see his face when I wake up. I pray all the other pictures were packed. I'd like to have an enlarged print made. 

[KayC]

12 hours ago, tnd said:

I also feel guilty, as if I've betrayed my late husband

I understand that.  But you're not willing this to happen.  I know George knows my heart.

 

12 hours ago, tnd said:

I pray all the other pictures were packed.

As do I.  

[HisPumpkin]

It’s only been 21 days. Being long distance, but with concrete plans in place to change that this summer, when we couldn’t physically be together, he’d call me every night, sing me to sleep, always tell me things like “I’m right here baby, goto sleep, I’ll be here in the morning and soon we won’t ever have to wake up without each other again.” 

I have lots of audio clips from him, videos, things we’d share to keep close when distance was hard, and I can only get to sleep playing them, listening to his voice. 

I’ve been dreaming a lot lately. But never of him. I had a dream last night that an ex was dancing with me in the street, spinning me and dipping me. He looked like my ex, but he felt like D. We danced a lot, he’d pull me close in the living room, sing to me, tone deaf and getting the words wrong, making me laugh and filling me up with warmth and love. We wanted years to keep dancing like that, and we didn’t get them. 

I never danced with the ex like that. The face I saw wasn’t anyone of particular significance, a fling from years ago that didn’t work out. So I don’t know what my brains doing but I wish I could see D in my dreams. We didn’t get to say goodbye. 

[KayC]

It was D, just your subconscious mind mixed the two up, as if they can be!  Enjoy the memory of D dipping you, discard the physical features. 

 

[HisPumpkin]

I had weird dreams last night, about D, but not of him. I write them all down when I wake up, what I remember, before it fades. Last night was all about trying to get through a maze, desperately seeking someone. I was tired when I woke, fed the cats, went back to bed to nap.

This time I did dream of D, although he was younger than he was when I met him. Cocky young buck, slicked back hair, white t-shirt, cigarettes (always maverick menthol shorts) tucked into the rolled sleeve of his T-shirt. Very James Dean. I do have a picture of him like that. He’d probably be ages with me as I am now. His face kept kind of morphing between the younger him and the D I know and love. 

We were arguing, something we never really did, about how I needed to cancel the plane tickets for May, rearrange them, because he had something he needed to do: I yelled at him about cost and delay, and stomped off to have a cigarette. He’d hidden a joint in the cigarette (something he occasionally smoked at home, it was legal, though he smoked it in his pipe, not a roll up, and we never did that together). 

He came through to the kitchen, smiled. “You found it!”

So we shared it, and I calmed down, and we danced. I jokingly dipped him, and he laughed but quickly reasserted the more dominant role (very him). I sang to him this time. I’m a musical theatre buff, but I never shared this song with him, haven’t listened to it in years.

“A song, played on a solo saxophone, a crazy sound, a lonely sound, a cry that tells us love goes on and on. Played on a solo saxophone. It’s telling me to hold you tight and dance like it’s the last night of the world.” 

I didn’t want to wake up. 

 

[Lit]

My love of my life passed away last February 2022, it’s been hard. He loved to talk and had a great of sense of humor when he still alive. Lately he don’t talk anymore in my dreams. It’s like in the movie but he don’t have a dialogue. I talk in my dreams and the story goes well because of his reaction or it’s like u just understand the story. It’s usually short too. Do you experience it also?

[tnd]

2 hours ago, Lit said:

I talk in my dreams and the story goes well because of his reaction or it’s like u just understand the story. It’s usually short too. Do you experience it also?

Yes. I lost my husband this past June. I haven't had very  many dreams of him and sometimes he talks and sometimes not. Went through the same thing after I lost my mother 9 years ago. I wish they talked more in the dreams. At least they are  always smiling. 

[KayC]

19 hours ago, Lit said:

My love of my life passed away last February 2022, it’s been hard. He loved to talk and had a great of sense of humor when he still alive. Lately he don’t talk anymore in my dreams. It’s like in the movie but he don’t have a dialogue. I talk in my dreams and the story goes well because of his reaction or it’s like u just understand the story. It’s usually short too. Do you experience it also?

I see this is your first post, I want to welcome you here and hope you'll continue to come here and read/post.  You are still very early in grief, maybe you'll share a little more.  I'm so sorry for your loss, I know it's hard, the missing him, and no longer getting to hear him talk.  I'm glad you have dreams of him at least, I wasn't so lucky...but then I have to take a sleeping pill just to get any sleep at all!  So maybe it's that I don't remember them...

Grief Process

This is not a one-size-fits-all, what strikes us one day will be different a few months/years from now, so please save/print this for reference!

I want to share an article I wrote of the things I've found helpful over the years, in the hopes something will be of help to you either now or on down the road.

TIPS TO MAKE YOUR WAY THROUGH GRIEF

There's no way to sum up how to go on in a simple easy answer, but I encourage you to read the other threads here, little by little you will learn how to make your way through this.  I do want to give you some pointers though, of some things I've learned on my journey.

• Take one day at a time.  The Bible says each day has enough trouble of its own, I've found that to be true, so don't bite off more than you can chew.  It can be challenging enough just to tackle today.  I tell myself, I only have to get through today.  Then I get up tomorrow and do it all over again.  To think about the "rest of my life" invites anxiety.
• Don't be afraid, grief may not end but it evolves.  The intensity lessens eventually.
• Visit your doctor.  Tell them about your loss, any troubles sleeping, suicidal thoughts, anxiety attacks.  They need to know these things in order to help you through it...this is all part of grief.
• Suicidal thoughts are common in early grief.  If they're reoccurring, call a suicide hotline.  I felt that way early on, but then realized it wasn't that I wanted to die so much as I didn't want to go through what I'd have to face if I lived.  Back to taking a day at a time.  Suicide Hotline - Call 1-800-273-8255 or www.crisis textline.org or US and Canada: text 741741 UK: text 85258 | Ireland: text 50808
• Give yourself permission to smile.  It is not our grief that binds us to them, but our love, and that continues still.
• Try not to isolate too much.  
• There's a balance to reach between taking time to process our grief, and avoiding it...it's good to find that balance for yourself.  We can't keep so busy as to avoid our grief, it has a way of haunting us, finding us, and demanding we pay attention to it!  Some people set aside time every day to grieve.  I didn't have to, it searched and found me!
• Self-care is extremely important, more so than ever.  That person that would have cared for you is gone, now you're it...learn to be your own best friend, your own advocate, practice self-care.  You'll need it more than ever.
• Recognize that your doctor isn't trained in grief, find a professional grief counselor that is.  We need help finding ourselves through this maze of grief, knowing where to start, etc.  They have not only the knowledge, but the resources.
• In time, consider a grief support group.  If your friends have not been through it themselves, they may not understand what you're going through, it helps to find someone somewhere who DOES "get it". 
• Be patient, give yourself time.  There's no hurry or timetable about cleaning out belongings, etc.  They can wait, you can take a year, ten years, or never deal with it.  It's okay, it's what YOU are comfortable with that matters.  
• Know that what we are comfortable with may change from time to time.  That first couple of years I put his pictures up, took them down, up, down, depending on whether it made me feel better or worse.  Finally, they were up to stay.
• Consider a pet.  Not everyone is a pet fan, but I've found that my dog helps immensely.  It's someone to love, someone to come home to, someone happy to see me, someone that gives me a purpose...I have to come home and feed him.  Besides, they're known to relieve stress.  Well maybe not in the puppy stage when they're chewing up everything, but there's older ones to adopt if you don't relish that stage.
• Make yourself get out now and then.  You may not feel interest in anything, things that interested you before seem to feel flat now.  That's normal.  Push yourself out of your comfort zone just a wee bit now and then.  Eating out alone, going to a movie alone or church alone, all of these things are hard to do at first.  You may feel you flunked at it, cried throughout, that's okay, you did it, you tried, and eventually you get a little better at it.  If I waited until I had someone to do things with I'd be stuck at home a lot.
• Keep coming here.  We've been through it and we're all going through this together.
• Look for joy in every day.  It will be hard to find at first, but in practicing this, it will change your focus so you can embrace what IS rather than merely focusing on what ISN'T.  It teaches you to live in the present and appreciate fully.  You have lost your big joy in life, and all other small joys may seem insignificant in comparison, but rather than compare what used to be to what is, learn the ability to appreciate each and every small thing that comes your way...a rainbow, a phone call from a friend, unexpected money, a stranger smiling at you, whatever the small joy, embrace it.  It's an art that takes practice and is life changing if you continue it.
• Eventually consider volunteering.  It helps us when we're outward focused, it's a win/win.

(((hugs))) Praying for you today.

 

[Lit]

Thank you KayC, lately its very hard to cope to my new situation. I’m with my love 21 years, it’s hard to live without him. Im very lucky to found true love, a soul soulmate and it’s so hard that he passed away sooner than expected.  When I read the stories that people posted here, I can really relate  to them.I don’t know what to do right now everything doesn’t make sense.
 Thank God my mom is here for me (she lived with my brother before) but it’s also hard because since she moved here with me in our 1 bedroom ( we sleep in the same room) apartment it’s hard to express my emotions. I tried to control my emotions because my mom is fragile already. I don’t want her to see me breakdown because I know it hurts her,  I also take care of her now. She needs me to to assist her  from making coffee in the morning to taking a bath because it’s hard for her to walk. 
Before I usually cried inside the car in the garage alone if I my chest felt like it’s about to explode.
there were times when I cried at night in the bed, my mom will not talk to me or comfort me and she will just continue to use her iPad. Its not because she don’t care but because she don’t know how to comfort me. 
and when she tries to comfort me she said words that makes me irritated like, when she’s telling me advice that it’s not applicable to me at this time. She said Like I need to think the positive side, but what positive side will I think now? Everything doesn’t make sense right now, everything is meaningless right now. The reason I’m contented in my life even though everything is not ok is gone.

My friends helped me a lot about organizing the viewing but after that they seldom call or message me. When they called, the topics are normal stuffs. It’s like they avoiding to talk about my situation maybe because they know it will make me cry and they don’t want that.
My fault was they saw me very strong since day one, I didn’t cry a lot, when I cried I composed myself right away less than a minute.

That’s why I searched in the internet to help me to cope my grief.

 My concern before is to be strong so his soul will have peace. But it bounced back that after more than a months that’s the time i can’t control myself. I cannot take it all well and I’m ashamed that after 3 months that’s the time I cry like a baby. I realized that I’m not strong that time I’m numbed, I thought I can handle my feelings alone. My sister when u talked to her she talked more she thought she helps me by doing that. She assured me that they are there for me but it doesn’t mean I’m ok now. 

 

 

[KayC]

20 hours ago, Lit said:

I don’t know what to do right now everything doesn’t make sense.

Try not to make any big decisions, just get through today, that's enough.  I figure, in early grief, just getting out of bed and eating something, drinking some water, getting dressed, that is an accomplishment.  I had to go in and do payroll day 5 and return to work (demanding thinking job) two weeks after he passed, no $!  That was hard when my brain wouldn't even focus.  I asked my boss to double check my work, the only time I've asked that in my entire life!  He was very understanding. 

You have a uniquely difficult situation, try hard not to worry so much about your mom as YOU.  I know, hard, but you are the one going through the most right now.  You deserve validation, including shedding tears in your own home when you need to!  Barring that, is there somewhere in nature you can drive to and get out and walk/cry/scream?  That helped me a lot when I lost George in that first year.

I'm not one that believes they're not at peace because WE are struggling!  The bible says there will be no more tears, no more pain, and I trust they're shielded from our anguish somehow...how I don't know.  That's the good thing about faith, we can believe without having it all figured out with our brain.

Right now, put YOU first.  (((hugs)))

20 hours ago, Lit said:

she’s telling me advice that it’s not applicable to me at this time. She said Like I need to think the positive side, but what positive side will I think now?

Tell her this.  Not to criticize but to make her more conscious of what she says to a griever.  You might share these with her...
What to Say to Someone Who’s Grieving
What to Say (Or Not) to A Person in Grief

[LMR]

I rarely dream of him, partly because I sleep so badly, waking frequently and tossing and turning all night. Last night I did have a dream. It was mostly nonsense but it ended with me leaving a hotel room expecting my husband to be waiting for me downstairs. I ran down from the 8th floor(!) and when I got there he wasn't there. I didn't know where he was. I didn't even know where I was. I was in a state of utter panic. I didn't know where to look for him or what I should do.
It was clear to me when I woke that this was just a projection of my mind. This is how I feel every single day

[tnd]

42 minutes ago, LMR said:

It was clear to me when I woke that this was just a projection of my mind. This is how I feel every single day

I feel this way, too. That is why everything I've had to do without my husband (paperwork, calls, etc..) has been so hard and so stressful. But as I faced each task I finally reached the point where I could tell myself "since I was able to do XYZ, then I should be able to do the next thing that comes up". 

[Roxeanne]

4 hours ago, LMR said:

this was just a projection of my mind

I want to tell a strange and comforting experience i had last week...

here in Italy they have removed almost all covid restrictions so my friends have organized a lunch like the ones we did before covid (about 50-60 people) on the anniversary of liberation from nazi-fascism of Italy.

I was  doubtful cos' i'm fragile and be back in the midst of so many people scares me a little!

But at the same time i wanted to go, enjoyed the time and a good lunch with friends again...and i didn't want to be too difficult!!

So i went and it was a nice day, and i was one of the few people to wear a mask in the time i wasn't eating!

After two days i was ill and other people too, our old friend covid was there with us...luckily in a light way now like a strange flu that last only one night!

That night unable to sleep, coughing, stiffy nose, i was agitated and afraid to be alone...and i had a little light on !

I realized suddenly that the shadow on the wall, reminded me of the profile of my loved one!

I was amazed and comforted from "his presence" even if it was just my imagination...

[tnd]

3 hours ago, Roxeanne said:

realized suddenly that the shadow on the wall, reminded me of the profile of my loved one!

Hope you are over your cold or Covid. Just goes to show we still need to be careful. Because the meds I am on my immune system is being suppressed so I always will have to be careful and wear a mask. Hate it. I'm glad you felt that way about that shadow on the wall. I keep thinking I see and hear someone in my room at night and wonder....

[Roxeanne]

10 hours ago, tnd said:

Just goes to show we still need to be careful.

Yes Tnd i think is better! Stay safe as you can...

I am well now thanks!

Take care of yourself hugs Ro'

[KayC]

17 hours ago, tnd said:

I could tell myself "since I was able to do XYZ, then I should be able to do the next thing that comes up"

Exactly, that has helped me too...over the years I've been through and survived so much!  Lost my favorite job that first year, had to hunt for another with age discrimination and recession, found one finally in the nick of time!  I hated where I worked and it was 100 mile day commute but it paid the bills.Made it through a broken right elbow with a stick shift car.  Torn meniscus.  Surgeries alone.  (No one but a friend from a grief site even checked on me, I died on the operating table, my heart kept stopping but they got it going again).  I've weather severe storms alone like the snowpocalypse three years ago (no electricity or water over 8 days, cut off from the world, no phone/garbage/mailp), all the devastation outside!  Fire evacuation last summer.  Making decisions alone (5 roofs inside 5 years, two bilked me).  Somehow I'm still alive and standing!  One day at a time, that's how I do this still.  I can't handle any more than that!

 

13 hours ago, Roxeanne said:

I realized suddenly that the shadow on the wall, reminded me of the profile of my loved one!

I don't think you imagined this, I think you were allowed to see that to bring you the comfort you so needed!  Bless your heart.  Maybe you had the Omicron?  I have a friend who got it, was back to work in five days!  He had no fever, felt nauseous, tired, I think he had headaches.

[CharliesM0m2012]

Jericho 

so 6 yrs ago now Iost my soulmate dog - a male husky called Jericho 

Sometimes I spend time in Cheshire where Jericho lived prior to living with us.  I was asleep in my hotel room + I had a type of dream that was like a physical presence.  I “felt” Jericho get in bed next to me.  I woke up next morning drenched in sweat wondering what happened + why it happened.

Three days after this apparition, of Jericho, I had to say goodbye to my little black Patterdale Jack Russell cross dog Charlie, who had been by my side since 2012.  It would’ve been her 10th birthday in August and I have been in bits.  I feel like I am living in circumstances too big for me to navigate and I don’t know how to turn round. 😢 

[KayC]

 

27 minutes ago, CharliesM0m2012 said:

so 6 yrs ago now Iost my soulmate dog - a male husky called Jericho

 

[Roxeanne]

3 hours ago, KayC said:

I think you were allowed to see that to bring you the comfort you so needed! 

Thank you Kay...yes i believe someone understand i need some help and comfort that night...Bless your heart too!

 

3 hours ago, KayC said:

Maybe you had the Omicron? 

I lost count on which variant turn now in Italy...i'm glad it's not so dangerous!

[Sparky1]

So this morning I was in bed and I heard my name called. It 100% was my wife's voice. I looked at the alarm clock and it was 4:45 am, I have the alarm set to 4:50 am. I turned it off since I don't like having it go off. Usually I'll just lie there until 4:52 am and then get out of bed. I dozed off. At exactly 4:52 am I heard my wife again say ' hey'. It was her voice. I got out of bed to get ready for work. Very eerie, but I swear it was her voice both times. I guess my begging her to hear her voice finally paid off. I'm still shocked yet comforted in knowing that it was her.

[KayC]

Weirder things have happened!  Years after George died, I lost my job (had already looked for a year and faced age discrimination and recession, no takers), I used up my savings four years, then needed to file social security a year short (penalty for life).  I called the soc. sec. office and the callous lady on the end said I'd get $250/month!  WHAT??!!!  I'd worked all my life!  George and I weren't married long enough for widow's benefits or filing off his (he died too young) so I was on my own, no help.  My anxiety kicked in full bore!  (I still have a house payment)  I was frantic, begged her to double check, no she callously told me it's a three day weekend and I'd have to call my local soc. sec. office.  By then they were closed as I'd held forever to get someone on the line and got this gov't leech.  

That night I laid face down on my bed, anxiety through the roof!  All of a sudden I felt George's hand on my shoulder/back.  I'd know his touch anywhere!  I instantly felt calm.  (That's the effect he always had on me). 

Tuesday morning I called my local office and the guy filed my soc. sec. and Medicare over the phone, was so nice and beyond helpful!  And no, I didn't get $250/month.  If I'd had a way to report her I would have, she just made up a number off the wall, no regards to me.

Never will I ever forget that experience...when I most needed him.

[DMB]

I've sort of had an experience recently.  I can't hear or feel my husband in my dreams. I was having some really hard nights so I started taking melatonin.  It works for few hours. I was taking 10mg but 5mg seems to work now.  One night I dreamt I was in like a sort of locker room with showers, maybe a pool, and it was filled with diarrhea and I was in it!  Sorry, for the gory details, but as you can imagine, it woke me up.  Another night, I dreamt I was finally down the bay with plumbing and able to stay and the family there was glad to see me sober and a few pounds lighter.  As reality would have it, last month I suffered a bout of the big "D" -I hate typing the word, and it lasted for several weeks.  No test I took told us why. By process of elimination I'm pretty sure it's the wine.  Some foods, but not many.  I hate the thought of quitting my wine, but when I don't drink I can digest things like a normal person.

I could be crazy, but these dreams (or part of), actually happening I feel are my husband caring for me and saying, don't do what I did, please take care of yourself.  Trying to do better now, not in at the bay yet, so will let you know how that part goes.  I really wish I wouldn't remember these dreams. Or try to interpret them.  It freaks me out.

[Steve79]

S passed nearly 7 weeks ago, and I'm very surprised I haven't dreamt of her once. Tell a lie, she appeared as a blurry character inside a building as I walked past in a dream I had the first time I slept about 3 hours after she passed, but apart from that fuzzy glimpse I've had nothing. I'd love to have a very vivid, possibly lucid dream with her in it. 

She did very VERY briefly appear in my third eye as I meditated one night two weeks ago. I think she did, it looked like her face. It was such a quick vision, but was as real as if I had a tv screen on the back of my eyelids. 

[KayC]

22 hours ago, DMB said:

I could be crazy, but these dreams (or part of), actually happening I feel are my husband caring for me and saying, don't do what I did, please take care of yourself. 

I don't think that crazy at all!  I think your interpretation is likely spot on. 

 

21 hours ago, Steve79 said:

I think she did, it looked like her face.

I'm glad you had that experience.

[Dragonfly999]

I’ve dreamt of my husband maybe 5 times so far. In each dream there’s a knowing that he’s gone, sometimes the dream is set up like he made it through surgery and is talking to me and almost trying to prepare me that he still has to die. There’s been very loving feelings and him holding my hand or snuggling me and kissing, him trying to make me laugh, once to where I woke myself up because I laughed out loud and had a smile on my face. He always tells me he loves me and sometimes I ask him to wait for me, he says he will. The one yesterday he called me Angel, lots of times he would say I was his Angel. I feel like these are really him because if it was created out of my own mind they would be really negative, especially since I still blame myself, I doubt I’d hear him say he loves me. I have had a few negative ones but they feel different, just empty like it’s just my subconscious.

One of the dreams after we were sitting talking, he made spiders drop dead from the ceiling, seemed like a random dream thing that makes no sense although he was always the one to kill spiders. But then shortly after I went out on the deck and there was the biggest spider ever lying dead on the seat cushion where I sit.

[Suea]

My husband is gone just short of 8 weeks. I wish I would have happy dreams of him. Since I was with him while he was in the "death process" and he died in my arms that vision is plays over and over when I try to sleep. Even when I take prescribed meds I see him dying before being knocked out.  I want to see him like he was when he was well. I look at old pics of him well so that image is in my mind but the old loop plays over and over. I am glad so many here have good dreams. I hope someday he will come to me healthy looking. Grab the blessing of good loving dreams.

[CharliesM0m2012]

I told my outspoken grandmother about my *visit from Jericho* (see previous post…) and she didn’t want to believe I’d had anything more than a dream.  I’m adamant I felt a physical presence of him.   A few days later Charlie was found to be seriously ill and had to go over Rainbow Bridge.   Did Jericho come to give me a sign, or a message …? 

[tnd]

8 hours ago, Dragonfly999 said:

there was the biggest spider ever lying dead on the seat cushion where I sit.

He's probably still looking out for you then. ❤️

[tnd]

5 hours ago, Suea said:

. I hope someday he will come to me healthy looking.

I am sure it will happen. Seems the "good" dreams happen a little later for some of us. Do not despair. All of this, our grief, our anger, sadness and even dreams are part of the long journey and process we have to work through. It'll happen. Keep on having good thoughts about him. 

[tnd]

4 hours ago, CharliesM0m2012 said:

A few days later Charlie was found to be seriously ill and had to go over Rainbow Bridge.   Did Jericho come to give me a sign, or a message …? 

That's what I get out of it...perhaps Jericho was sent for both you and Charlie's sakes. Anyone else didn't have the same relationship with them so they probably don't or can't understand it. 

[Suea]

Thank you for the encouraging words.