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my loss


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3 months ago i lost my friend to Rhabdomyosarcoma.
this friend was my age and I regarded him as a brother, we had a lot in common. I met him in band class, he played the trumpet ,I played the drums, which meant he was kinda near me .all throughout middle school I would sit at his lunch table ( its based on grade), in 9th grade we had the choice to start marching band (I knew from my older brother ) , he joins , I don’t cus I had a lot going on . in 10th grade I join, I’m in the pit and he still plays the trumpet (and is really good) .the kids in pit are mean to me, but he supports and helped me when I cried. in 11th grade he doesn’t come to band camp, I wonder why . I find out through my mom he has been diagnosed with it. I feel so bad for him, that Christmas I get a switch, school comes back AND HES BACK , it was just for a few months, not much , I tell him about my switch , his s hair was growing back , it was short and thin ( not the long thick hair he had) , he was in a wheelchair .we have cancer fundraisers ,he’s the subject of all of them . we have this thing called mini thon( like Penn states thon, a huge fundraiser for Four Diamonds) in May. he’s at it, he looks BAD, skinny, pale (for his tan skin) , and bald again I get to talk to him (still trying to) acting the same, chummy and happy). the school year ends. summer passes and he visits band camp but can’t do it. the year passes and we do more things at our school for him . then we graduate, AND HE GRADUATES, we get pictures together. summer and fall pass and in late April(this year) I do thon for my college I make a lantern for him for his fight, and for 3 other people who have cancer and the 2 who survived, my uncle passed earlier this year and I missed class for it. my college year ends on a ok note . summer passes , i hear through friends he’s doing bad . then just this saterday he dies in his sleep i find out through my parents . I AM DEVISTATED . This man was someone I considered as a brother, friend .goddamit cancer is a bitch can someone help me here? I don’t know how to deal with the pain .i never lost someone this close to me, except my great-grandma. I never lost someone this close to me in age too, only older. and miscarriages( my 2nd cousin) 

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