I now officially have no one and am on my own

[mariesgirl1953]

On Friday it was a year since my beautiful mam passed away. Friday night I drank, Saturday night I drank, got drunk and last night I went out to my cousins 30th birthday surprise party and got absolutely gee eyed. I was so drunk. Today I am perfect I'm not hung over and plan to do it all again tonight. Once my son is looked after and we talk him trick or treating and he has his bath etc then we'll go out. Anyway, I got a telling off for talking about how I feel. I got told that I don't ask anyone how they are and I do. I always ask. All I want is people to be there for me not to judge me and everybody does. I need to be admitted because I can't deal with this anymore. Apparently I'm selfish. I know I am. No one has any idea how hard this is for me. I'm constantly trying to be there for everyone and then bring told if I break down to get over it. I just want to be with my mam why won't anyone just let me do that.

[ModKonnie]

I am so very sorry about the loss of your mother. Honestly, drinking is making things worse. Alcohol is a depressant. it will eventually lead to sleeplessness and more depression. Please consider healthier ways of coping, like crying, talking, sharing, holding a memorial... I'm certainly not passing judgment; I'm just concerned. If you feel you need mental health assistance, look for a mental health/behavioral health facility in your hometown, or go to the emergency room and tell them how you are feeling. They should be able to direct you to someone who can help.

We will be here with  you,

ModKonnie

 

[mariesgirl1953]

Thank you so much.

[Oscar]

Drinking isn't necessarily bad, it's why you drink and what consequences it has on you. 

I'm only 17 so it's a lot different of course, but I do drink a lot and it makes me feel better. When I go out drinking I always promise myself to have fun. I meet new people, have a good night and most of all do not regret it. The fact that you can admit you are drinking often and don't feel good about it is a good sign that maybe it's not the best thing for you at the moment. 

Everyone experiences loss differently, for most people talking to other people works really really well, but also trying to follow the 'normal' life which doesn't pause for losses. 

Sorry I just had to share my opinion, you don't have to agree with me or anything. I wish you the best of luck in the future and I really hope you will make the best of it.