Members Sweetkiwi25 Posted October 28, 2016 Members Report Posted October 28, 2016 How do you deal with walking away from a toxic marriage while halfway through your pregnancy? Am I doing what's best?
Moderators KayC Posted October 29, 2016 Moderators Report Posted October 29, 2016 You have to put the health of your baby ahead of anything else, and that includes mental as well as physical. If it's truly toxic, you have no choice. Surround yourself with positivity and people who are supportive.
Members Sweetkiwi25 Posted October 30, 2016 Author Members Report Posted October 30, 2016 Thank you so much for replying. I'm taking counseling sessions in hopes of saving my marriage. My husband won't attend any so I'm afraid my marriage won't last. It takes 2. I never thought half way through my pregnancy I'd be considering separation. One of the hardest things I've ever dealt with in my life. Especially being in the military life with him isolated, no friends or family. He has all his Marine friends I have nobody!
Members JustMe840 Posted October 31, 2016 Members Report Posted October 31, 2016 You have all of us. You and your baby's safety and health are most important. If your heart is telling you this is what you need to do, then it's the right thing and you shouldn't feel bad about that. Though it's not how you had it planned, it's for the best. I'm in no way a counselor but that's my opinion.
Members Sweetkiwi25 Posted October 31, 2016 Author Members Report Posted October 31, 2016 Just me840: Thank you warms my heart to know someone cares. I love him more than he'll ever know. Many women go through this and you hear about it all the time especially in the military world. When you experience it for yourself words can't explain how it feels to detach from someone you love so much!
Members JustMe840 Posted October 31, 2016 Members Report Posted October 31, 2016 It seems it would be like veeery slowly tearing off a band-aid. It also takes a very strong person to give up what they love when it's right in front of them. I'll pray for strength and comfort for you.
Moderators KayC Posted October 31, 2016 Moderators Report Posted October 31, 2016 14 hours ago, JustMe840 said: You have all of us. You and your baby's safety and health are most important. If your heart is telling you this is what you need to do, then it's the right thing and you shouldn't feel bad about that. Though it's not how you had it planned, it's for the best. I'm in no way a counselor but that's my opinion. I so agree!
Members Sweetkiwi25 Posted November 2, 2016 Author Members Report Posted November 2, 2016 I've learned so much about myself from this marriage. I'm only 25 but my heart is much older. I think one of the most hurtful things is having your family believe your Marine husband is some kind of hero. They believe he swept me off my feet and that I'm so in love with a child on the way. However, they haven't a clue what agony I'm really in. It's really embarrassing but I have to worry about my sanity and my child.
Moderators KayC Posted November 2, 2016 Moderators Report Posted November 2, 2016 Is there some reason you haven't explained to your family what is happening? It would help to have their supportiveness. You don't have to "tell all", just let them know there's problems and you don't know what will happen. It will give them a chance to adjust to everything not being bliss as well.
Members Sweetkiwi25 Posted November 2, 2016 Author Members Report Posted November 2, 2016 To start off my family is not close unfortunately. Everybody will speak every now and then but for the most part all live their own lives. When I say family I mean my grandparents. They are basically my parents. I value their opinion. However, my grandmother is old school she believes you stick it out no matter what! I'm not that person. If I'm unhappy I have to do something about it.
Moderators KayC Posted November 3, 2016 Moderators Report Posted November 3, 2016 If there's possibility of hope or change, that's one thing to stick it out. If it's truly bad and unlikely to change no matter what you do, it's time to bail. Wisdom knows the difference. When someone abuses you, it's time to get out. If you're afraid, it's time to leave. If you have that stomach-tied-in-knots feeling, something needs to change, fast! We aren't made to handle that kind of stress. I hope your counseling sessions will bring you clarity.
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