Home

[Micky]

The window where we hung our first birdfeeder, and sat waiting together for the first bird to discover.  The kitchen, always half-renovated, that I'd groggily stumble to every mornings to make us a pot of coffee.  The walls of the living room--new sheetrock that we hung up together, bumpy and cracked by our first attempts at mudding and taping.  The garden that my mom helped us landscape, that the mailman later drove over in a snowstorm.  The beat-up old Suburu in the driveway, that broke down once when we were coming home from a fancy event, that you fixed like Macgyver on the side of the road in a tuxedo.  The new dining room chandelier we bought from Lowe's, that smelled like burning plastic for a week because I forgot to take the plastic lining off of the new bulbs.  The rock from Iceland that I made you promise never to get rid of.  The old flip-flops you'd wear around the house, that I'd steal because they were comfortable.   The tiny bathroom that we'd get ready in together every morning.  The screened-in porch that we cooked burgers in one summer night.   

The bed I held you in the night we realized the tumors weren't getting smaller.  The blanket you bled out into, alone when I wasn't there one day.  The jacket--your favorite--that your family gave me a month later, that still smelled like you.  The weeds, growing up around the garden the mailman drove over.  The windows, dark and covered, with no signs of life.

I lost both of my homes this year. 

 

[KMB]

Hi Mickey----Let it all out----this is the place to do it. We all understand your loss, pain and heartache.

I still have issues getting up in the morning, reality hits. I don't hear the tv on, my husband stirring around the kitchen. I have to get up to let the dog out, something my husband did early morning. The emotions of loss are intense, the price I pay now for loving my husband for 25 years.

So sorry, Mickey, prayer and hugs for you.

[KayC]

Micky,

It's hard, I'm so sorry you're going through this too.  Listening to you share your memories reminds me we each have a set of memories that are hard now, yet they uniquely tell the story of our relationship, our time shared together...it's those building of memories that further solidifies the connection we found in each other.

As KMB mentioned, it does help to express yourself.

[claribassist13]

It's difficult to ever feel "at home" again when you realize that home was a person and not a place. 

Please keep reaching out and expressing yourself!

[Yah, I've Got Issues]

Micky,

Like this life, that was just so beautiful and horrid at the same time.  My heart breaks for you. 

Many Hugs....