Dreams

[socal2010]

Last night I had a dream that my Mom had a major heart attack but was alive. We were talking about taking a vacation after she got out of the hospital. I was so grateful she was alive and felt so blessed.

Then I woke up and it was like losing her all over again. I felt that knot in my stomach and that sense of doom.

I don't understand why I didn't get a second chance with her like so many other people do with their parents. BOTH my parents died suddenly without me even getting to help them recover. They didn't get second chances. It's not fair.

I hate dreams!

[puppyface]

I have had a few dreams where my father has been given a second chance to live. In each dream he has returned home and I tell him that he just needs to relax, but just as I am saying that he collapses again and dies all over. It's horrible. But for that split second he is back it's like the stress and worry I have had since his death is all gone...then it is back. So I know how you feel socal. I wish I could say something profound that will make everything seem a little bit better and take that sense of doom away, but I think I am in a similar position in my grieving process to give you any sound/positive advice.