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Another Saturday night pity party


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Another Saturday night pity party except no one ever shows up except my cats!  It's been 2 1/2 years since my beloved husband succumbed to cancer and I'm not any better than I was when he passed.  I read everyone's posts and can soooo relate and feel everyone's pain.  People want us to "move on", but how can we.  I know we have no choice, but boy is it hard. Move on to what??  I have been abandoned by many family and friends because I simply didn't know how to act and they got tired of trying.  I know we shouldn't be by ourselves but it's so exhausting to laugh and make believe we're enjoying ourselves when our heart is broken.  I went to so many gatherings for THEIR sake, not mine.  As all of you....I miss my husband terribly it stings.  I want to tell people...I know what I can do to keep busy, but I have no energy or motivation to do it.  We had one child and he lives very far away.  We text daily and he/I visit when we can, but it's not the same.  I hate life.

Sorry for rambling on....I'm just having "one of those days".  ugh.....WHY WHY WHY

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