Members 4everjoeysmom Posted November 5, 2009 Members Report Share Posted November 5, 2009 I'm so sorry for your loss. I have been grieving and healing for 3 years as well. I lost my son on July 31, 2006. I can say I am healing, because the reality is that I don;t have the sharpness of pain I once had. But I still hurt. I still cry. I am not in deep mourning anymore. But I mourn anew with each first that rolls around that leaves me reeling hard into missing my son. How can I, or you, or anyone "put IT behind them"? We're talking about a life, a love of our life, a precious one we held dear, a part of our very being. You'll never be able to put her behind. But that doesn't mean you won't heal. We heal with our memories, with time, and with the compassion and understanding, the love and encouragement of others who "get it", who understand and help us to know we are not alone or crazy, or not normal. We aren't the average run of the mill full and happy family anymore. But we still are people with feelings and real heartache.I wish I could say anger no longer flares in me. But it does. Guilt too sometimes. I think it's just a normal part of grief. there will always be "what-if's", I think. But I also believe there will come a time when those thoughts and feelings won't consume us like they once did. That is evidence of healing. Just because we take some steps backwards at times does not mean we are not healing. I can imagine, though, how difficult it is to have no one to talk to and share your grief with. There are many of us here on the BI site that for one reason or another have been unable to grieve openly. It has helped us tremendously to have each other to share thoughts, feelings, ideas and so on, just to know we aren't insane--that there is HOPE for us too.Your grief as a grandmother sounds every bit as strong as mine as a mother. The majority of people I have come to know post regularly on the plain old Loss of an Adult Child thread. Because that thread is so supportive and regular in posts, even parents who have lost young children and babies frequent the thread. If you're up to meeting some of the greatest supportive people I know, perhaps you would like to come into that thread and give it a try...get to know some of the women there, and even a few men who are wonderful, that can offer you the support you need and crave. We don't have any cure-all-answers. But we sure have a huge melting pot of wisdom, tears and love to share.Bless you for posting and reaching out. I hope you find some comfort here.Love & prayers,Claudia (4everjoeysmom) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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