Members socal2010 Posted October 13, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 13, 2009 It's been almost 3 months since my Mom was ripped away from me. The time is going by SOOOOOOOOOOOOO slow. I'm not kidding, it feels like 3 years.Has anyone else noticed that? Will it always be this way? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members zaraide Posted October 13, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 13, 2009 Time does seem to move slowly. I feel like I am moving slowly as well. Tomorrow will be three weeks. It seems longer somehow. I can't imagine years without my mom when just days seems like forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members socal2010 Posted October 14, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted October 14, 2009 I can't even remember when it was just 3 weeks. I think that was when I started having a hard time getting out of bed. It's all a blur now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members crosscrunner4eva Posted October 14, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 14, 2009 It has been 5 years since I lost my dad. He was a huge part of my life and I lost him to cancer. Times goes by slowly, but at some point you will look at it in a positive light. They can be with you everywhere you go now. No matter what you are doing, they are there with you, not physically, but a huge part of them will never leave you. doesn't make it a lot easier, but it has helped me cope through the years when things get hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members zaraide Posted October 14, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 14, 2009 Today is three weeks since my mom passed. I still talk to her every day, sometimes out loud other times just in my mind. We used to talk on the phone each evening at around 6:00pm and that time is the hardest. I have gone back to work and that has helped to stay busy. Yesterday I heard someone talking to their mother on the phone and it made me cry. I am very glad to have found this page to come to and talk to others that have lost their mothers. It really does help. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members socal2010 Posted October 14, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted October 14, 2009 I know my Mom's love is still with me, I tell myself she worked hard to raise me and I'm not going to let all that effort and love she gave me go away. So that sometimes helps me cope. But it's so hard not being to pick up the phone and call her. I see women who look like her all the time in the grocery store. It started happening more frequently recently. I see things she would like in catalogs and wish she could see them. Sometimes even something like pretty stickers or address labels make me sad that she can't see them (she loved stationary and stickers). She's originally from back east and now we're on the west coast. Sometimes I can't wait to go back to where she grew up just so I can feel closer to her. Maybe I think I'm going to "find" her there. It's just so hard to accept that she's gone. I never saw this coming at all. Not now, maybe 10 years from now, but not right now. It's hard to accept that. I can't imagine living for the rest of my life without being able to talk to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members zaraide Posted October 15, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 15, 2009 I noted my mom had been gone for three weeks yesterday but its actually only two weeks. I am so confused on my days and I guess I was looking at the calendar yesterday as if it were the 21st. My mom passed on the 30th of September. If I had known Tuesday night was the last time I would have hugged my mom and told her I love her I would have hugged her longer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members socal2010 Posted October 18, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted October 18, 2009 I was counting the weeks until recently. So for a long time it felt like 3 months, but it's not actually 3 months until next week. It was 12 weeks already though. That probably doesn't make sense! Anyway, it's very easy to lose track of time.My friend called last night and she said "well, now the worst part is over and you don't have to worry about anything for the rest of your life." She actually thinks that comforts me but I was trying to explain that life is DIFFERENT without my Mom. Sure, I don't have to worry about her anymore or be scared about something happening to her, but my life will never be "happy" again. My friend acts like I should be glad that it's "over" but it's never really over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members zaraide Posted October 18, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 18, 2009 I guess your friend was trying to be comforting but I can see how it wouldn't be at all. Life is so very different without our mother's but not in a good way. Yesterday a lady ran a red light and hit me. Luckily my son and myself were ok and the lady in the other car was ok too. While at the place they took us to get the rental car and to drop off my broken truck I was thinking OH I am going to call my mom and let her know what happened but then realized I couldnt. I almost starting crying in the waiting room at the business. Life is so different and I wish so much it was like it used to be. I miss talking to her so much, that is the hardest part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members socal2010 Posted October 20, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted October 20, 2009 Wow, that's scary. I'm glad you're both okay.I know exactly what you mean. Your first instinct is to call your Mom because you know she would be so happy that you're okay and she would want to know what happened. You were probable shaken up and needed support. I realize that no one cares about my well-being or safety like my Mom. It's a weird feeling knowing that I have no one to call anymore when I am sick or when something challenging happens to me. I could call other family members but the reality is my Mom was the only one who REALLY cared. Other people care but it's not the same type of thing. I agree, it's so incredibly hard not being able to talk to her. I would really give anything at this point to talk to her again, even just for a few minutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angel44 Posted October 21, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 21, 2009 it has been 2 1/2 years since my mom left. It has taken at least that long for me to feel any better at all. It does get better but with much time for me it was 2 1/2 years. I still cry at times etc but i am improving. What helped me a whole lot was some heaven books on amazon about people who saw heaven and relayed their stories. Hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angel44 Posted October 21, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 21, 2009 But i still have my days - some days its very hard even now. I will see something and still think i wish mom was here to see that etc. And at moments like that its still very hard, or i will think i wish mom was here to give advice etc. So for sure i still have my hard moments but i try real hard to stay upbeat, she wouldnt want for me to cry and feel bad. The pain gets better but its always there somewhat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angel44 Posted October 21, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 21, 2009 When my mom was dying in our apt, thats what she wanted was to die at home in her own bed etc. I went and hugged her for so long and i said this hug will have to last me the rest of my life. That was the last time i got to hug her. After that it was all down hill for her. I remember how sickly and weak she was, she was just like a little child she needed help getting out of bed to go to the other room etc and i remember seeing her like that and just going to my room and crying and i am almost crying noew remembering that. She had been so stong her whole life. She couldnt even walk any more really and the nurses etc helped her in and out of her room. If i would have tried to do that i would have been crying all the while and upseting her and making her feel afraid. So i just watched and was so stupid and lost in it all. I never thought she would die until she really did, she had been so many times and had always bounced back after a few days. I thought that was what this was again. If i had only known. I wish i had known, I would have done so many things so differently. Her last night of being all there, she wanted to talk to me so badly and i was so mad at her for not going to the dr or to the er that night so i sulked over to my room and slammed my door and was listening to loud rock music for like 45 minutes and then when i opened my door she was asleep and i didnt want to wake her up so i went to bed then she was never in her head again after that. A few days later was when i hugged her but she wasnt all there even. I will always wonder what she wanted to say or do that night. I will never know. I would give anything to have that moment back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members butterfly13 Posted October 21, 2009 Members Report Share Posted October 21, 2009 angel- I never even got to hug my mom one last time.The last time I saw her,about2weeks before she died,she did look so sick,I begged her to let me take her to the hospital,but she just kept refusing.I told her I wouldn't visit her again because I couldn't stand to see her looking so bad.I remember our last normal conversation,it was a week before she died,we talked about everything,after that day every time I talked to her she sounded weird,I still never thought that she was dying.I would give anything to be able to hug her now,I miss her more than anything in this world!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.