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Please allow me to express how truly sorry I am for your loss. I know that these are words that we hear all the time, but I have yet to find another way to express how much I can emphasize with your situation. 

Please don't take offense to this, but saying that you've already grieved is inherently naive. There is a reason that many cultures observe a year of grieving, and it has been studied extensively within psychology. True healing doesn't start until after the first year. It's likely that you feel you've processed some of your initial emotions, but grief is an ongoing process. As time continues to pass new emotions will pop up as your brain begins to process other aspects of your grief. As you continue to hit time markers and experience other firsts you will realize that you are no where near the end of your grieving. 

We are all stuck in this boat of not knowing how to proceed in life. The person we loved the most, the person who was so much of who we were is gone, and that creates an emptiness that hurts beyond anything else. 

Have you been to see a grief counselor? Have you reached out to anyone to talk? What have you been doing to try to care for yourself? 

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I am sorry you deleted your post before I got a chance to read it (my internet wasn't working yesterday/last night).  

I hope you will come back and continue to post.  There aren't right or wrong feelings or right or wrong ways to grieve, only your way.

We are here to listen when you are ready.  As claribassist says, this grief is ongoing and the process can be very lengthy.  I've found for myself that grief does not end, but merely changes form.  If we are willing to put in the grief work, it can bring healing and it gets more palatable.

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