Members jackson923 Posted September 17, 2009 Members Report Share Posted September 17, 2009 This is my first time visiting this site, and I've spent about an hour reading everyone's stories, and I've got to say.. It has helped me a lot. It has made me feel like I'm not alone, and has validated my feelings.. My mother died 3 weeks ago. She had cirrhosis and emphysema, and has been on oxygen for the past 3 years. About 6 months ago she received a "panic button" so to speak.. a necklace she would wear and if she pressed it, it would send the ambulance to her house. She lived alone, and was doing great. She was happy, making plans, everything was fine. Then when me and my brothers tried calling her one day with no answer, we got worried. She has never been shy about using her 'panic button' before, so we waited a few hours before really panicing. Then my brother went over there and found her on the floor in her living room, unconscious. She went into the critical care unit, was intubated, but neurologists said there was virtually no brain activity. She wouldn't react to anything. She wouldn't squeeze your hand, wouldn't move.. nothing. Doctors gave her a 3 day window to see if she would improve. After the 3 day window my brothers and I had to make a decision. She did not want to be on life support, so we decided to take her off. She was 61. Every day I miss her more and more. Cleaning out her house was so hard. She had a cat, and the day she passed I went to her house and her cat was walking around the house, crying.. Like she knew. Her birthday was September 6, and to be going through her house on her birthday was surreal. She was my best friend, I talked to her every day. I find myself during the day thinking "I have to tell mom that" then realize I can't. I can't even bring myself to take her out of my phone. I break down every night because I miss her so much, and I feel like it all happened so fast, and I wonder if we made the right decision. I came to this site because I don't know anyone who has lost their mother, and I just feel like I'm going through it alone. My friends are there for me, but they don't know what it's like. I'm 23 years old, and all I can think about is all the events in my life that she's not going to be there for.. Marriage, kids, etc... Sorry I've rambled on for so long, I just needed to share my story. And thank yall for sharing yours. It has really helped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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