Whats the point?

[youngwidow27]

I am having a hard time. I just don't see the point to life anymore. How could he do this? How could he put us in this position? On March 26th I came home from work and found my husband dead on the floor from an accidental overdose of oxycodone. He was suppose to be on suboxin getting his life (our) back together.

 

[Jeff In Denver]

I am very sorry to see your post.  I really couldn't imagine your finding your husband like that.  No words...  Are you seeing a counselor?

When you say "he" are you referring to God?  If so, I ask the same question.

 

[claribassist13]

Please keep in mind the words "accidental overdose". That means that this was not intentional on his part and is the unfortunate part of what was (I am going to assume here) his addiction. Know that addiction is a disease, and that your husband was probably very sick. You guys were working on putting your lives back together though, which shows that he was trying to change for you. Keep that close to your heart. 

I'll second Jeff's question. If you have yet to see a grief counselor, I would recommend doing so. A counselor will be able to provide you will tool and methods to cope with your grief in a healthy manner. 

[youngwidow27]

When I say "he" I was talking about my husband. I feel that his death could have been prevented if he was doing what he said he was doing... taking the suboxin. I have come to find out that he way taking pain meds for a few weeks before his death again. No i am not seeing a counselor. I tried to find one. Met with 4 different ones. None of them didn't help. I decided to wait a awhile. But I am going to griefshare and that does help. 

 

I tell myself all the time "the man I married did not make me a widow" 

[claribassist13]

Please keep hold of that last statement, because it is one of the truest statement in the world. The man you married did not make you a widow. Disease did. 

[KayC]

I am so sorry you found your husband that way and are having a hard time going on.  You ask what is the point.  I've heard it said that life is a gift and so we make the most of what we are given.  It's hard to see that when we are deep in the throes of this emotional pain and don't have a clue where to start.  It helps to see a professional grief counselor.  It helps to come to a place like this and express ourselves, read other's posts and know we are not alone in what we are going through.  Little by little we begin to process this grief, and adjust to the loss, it takes more time than we care to know, but we do get through it and we do learn throughout this.