Members Jeff In Denver Posted July 7, 2016 Members Report Share Posted July 7, 2016 As I mentioned, I lost my girlfriend, Mila, to breast cancer last month. To call this difficult and life-changing is an understatement. Please, let me know what you think about this. I keep in good shape. Despite that, I had a sharp pain (like a knife) in my back in June of 2015 during a car trip from Denver to Santa Fe. Turned out to be a kidney stone. Mila and I went to the urologist, they were going to remove it, but found my vitals were bad. Turns out I had developed a blood clot (DVT) in my left calf that had traveled to my lungs (pulmonary embolism)! Off to the hospital for four days. She was with me almost the whole time.I found out that I am lucky to be here! Those are very dangerous. A month and a half ago Mila and I were talking, and I told her that I would be devastated if anything happened to her. I asked her if she would be, if it were me, and she said that she would also be wrecked. For some reason I needed to hear that.Well, let's say that I hadn't made it. She would have probably been in dealing with grief in much the same way that I am in now. And she still would have had the breast cancer to deal with! She also wouldn't have had room in her house for everyone. My house was better for that.It would have been a lot easier for me to be gone on my side, but it would have been worse for her. An odd way of looking at it, but true. I was able to help her and express my love for her, but now I have this pain to deal with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted July 8, 2016 Moderators Report Share Posted July 8, 2016 They say our pain is the price we pay for having loved. If that be so, I gladly pay the price, for the love we shared was so amazing, I wouldn't have wanted to have done away with one iota of it. My one consolation is that it is ME doing the pain instead of him. I think that's kind of what you were saying, and in addition to that, she would have been facing the breast cancer too. I guess I'm glad that if it had to happen, it went this way rather than the other, because I honestly don't know how my George would have fared had I died before him. Loving him the way I do, I'm glad he was spared this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff In Denver Posted July 8, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted July 8, 2016 I know what you mean about us doing the pain, rather than them. That was a good way to put it. It might seem selfish to some, as we're still here, but it's not. This isn't much of a life. I thought life sucked when Mila had cancer and our lives were relegated to caring for her. There was no fun at all, I was always worried, scared, and trying to help her. It was all stress and worry. But now, life is even worse. I'm just existing. What's the point? I think your outlook on you and George is actually very loving and caring. He probably would have been shredded without you. We're on the same page with this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members claribassist13 Posted July 9, 2016 Members Report Share Posted July 9, 2016 I have to agree with both of you. I wish that my fiance would have never died, but I can say that I am so grateful that I am the one enduring through this pain, and not him. I would have done anything to take this pain away from him, and now I never have to worry about him being hurt or experiencing this heartache ever again. That is a price I am gladly willing to pay every single day for the rest of my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff In Denver Posted July 9, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted July 9, 2016 4 minutes ago, claribassist13 said: I have to agree with both of you. I wish that my fiance would have never died, but I can say that I am so grateful that I am the one enduring through this pain, and not him. I would have done anything to take this pain away from him, and now I never have to worry about him being hurt or experiencing this heartache ever again. That is a price I am gladly willing to pay every single day for the rest of my life. And what a price it is to pay... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members claribassist13 Posted July 9, 2016 Members Report Share Posted July 9, 2016 It is a great price, but I has always firmly believed in the fact that if you truly love someone you should want them to be happy. I always told my fiance that I wanted him to be happy, even if that meant that someday his happiness did not include me. Now, I hope that he is happy. And if this is the price to ensure that he is happy, then I have no problem doing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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