Members MissYouRich Posted June 30, 2016 Members Report Share Posted June 30, 2016 My husband passed away 8 days ago, and I feel so lost. We've been together for 12 years, but married for 9 months. I'm 39 and he was 43. He died of brain cancer. He fought for 3 years. I don't know what to do with myself or how to move on. The last 3 years I was working during the day and caring for him at night, but the last 2 months I took family leave and cared for him around the clock. I'm just devastated… I'm not sure what to do... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members EternalFlames Posted June 30, 2016 Members Report Share Posted June 30, 2016 I'm so sorry! Brain cancer is so brutal. Especially if you see them slowly lose brain function, lose personality, memories or control of body... 8 days is really recent! You're going to feel like **** for a long while. My advice would be to give yourself a lot of space to grieve and book a LOT of "me time" activities that invest in yourself (e.g. gym, spa, massage, healthy eating, yoga, naps, long walks, meditation, tanning, long baths, hot tub, whatever works for you). Treat and pamper yourself as much as you can. After supporting your husband through cancer, you probably got used to making him the focus and slacking on self-care for a prolonged time. It's only natural. We want to be there for our loved ones. After that tough fight, your body and soul must be drained already, and now that you're grieving you need the care more than ever. Get as much care and "me time" as you possibly can, and get friends to jump in and help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ken M Posted July 2, 2016 Members Report Share Posted July 2, 2016 I am so sorry. Breathe in, breathe out, now repeat. It stinks there is so much to take care of but you will. My wife died with brain cancer Feb 20, 2015 - a year and a half ago. Glioblastoma Multiforme grade 4. (GBM4) We were happily married 22 years, she died at 51. I'm 52. I know that God brought us together and also I know that all things are in God's time and plan. You have been through war. (if like us you have endured chemo, radiation, immobility issues, doctors visits galore, large pill box sorters, seizure concerns, steroid dosing, money concerns, hospice care, and on and on). Cut yourself some slack - give yourself a break. You don't feel like it but you must take care of yourself. Try to eat the best you can and your sleep is very important. I found through time, that the better I ate, the more I slept, and ultimately began a regular workout program how those things help to regulate my moods. One big change for us that helped me (and my 3 sons) get through were our foundation in faith. Soon after my wife died we joined a smaller church. We were members of a mega church and didn't even get a card, so we made a move. Surround yourself in friends. Grief waves were frequent in the beginning. The most stupid things would catch me off guard. A smell, a song, a tv commercial we would laugh at. One of the best pieces of advice that I was given was by a 75 year old woman. She told me that you will have to re-experience everything one time again before it becomes easier. Hang in there, and keep breathing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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